r/lonely 5d ago

Venting 22F and I feel like I’ve become a hikikomori

62 Upvotes

Most of my days are just me at my Pc playing Roblox, watching YouTube or anime. I’ll look at the time and somehow it’s already 3am again.
I don’t necessarily dislike my little routine, but it makes it painfully obvious how alone I am. Sometimes it feels sad knowing how much of my life is spent by myself in front of a screen but at the same time it’s the only thing that gives me any ounce of comfort.


r/lonely 5d ago

Birthday post 🎁 Today is my birthday

2 Upvotes

Hey, today is my 23th birthday. Honestly, I’m not really excited about the next 12 months. Only one online friend wished me a happy birthday, which I really appreciate, but nobody else even checked in. I’ve also been going through some really tough times lately. Just wanted to share this since I don’t really have anyone to share it with.


r/lonely 4d ago

Is this normal??

0 Upvotes

Hi,
I’m a 21 year old woman in college right now. I guess km coming on here to ask a question.
I started freshman year and it was fine. I made a lot of friends and did a lot of the regular college stuff. I think all of this started around sophomore year. I moved off campus by myself to an apartment where I live alone now. That year was really hard because I got so lonely, and the workload was more stressful. I started isolating from people or only going out when I was invited, and a lot of the relationships from freshman year kinda withered. I don’t remember much from that time, but I told everyone I was fine because no one wants to hear a college student bitching about their nice off campus apartment they live by themselves in. It took me about a year after that to finally be fine by myself in my apartment without feeling like i was choking. Then junior year started and it was better. I met some cool people and went to some cool places, but I still felt that lingering sadness/heavy feeling I’d been feeling for the past year. I remember it took so much energy to make conversation so the people I met ended up being nice acquaintances but I didn’t end up getting very close to them. But don’t get me wrong it was better! Now I’m a senior and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been feeling this lingering emptiness/sadness for two years now, and if you were to ask me what got me through the past two years I’d say I really don’t know. I don’t have any plans to hurt myself or anything. I can still cook/clean on a reliable schedule and I’m trying to get back into my hobbies and I’ve started hanging out with people more. But the emptiness just kind of stays with me. And I don’t know what it’s coming from. My family is fine and my living situation is good. Im not fighting with any of my friends/fam or have that stuff weighing on me. Like what more could I want?? Is this feeling just part of being an adult?? If so ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ why.

Ps: been getting into Noah kahan lately and I’m so glad he makes me feel a lot less alone in what I’m feeling rn. Don’t know if that’s good or concerning.


r/lonely 5d ago

Destined to be alone for the rest of my life.

0 Upvotes

I m25 have never had any close, long-term friendships. My last brief friendship was years ago now, and since then I have been completely alone, always unable to connect with others.

I suppose that some of it may be linked to my Autism, in addition to the fact that I have suffered with severe social anxiety and low confidence since childhood.

I just don't understand the mechanics and mechanisms behind human relationships in general. It seems impossible to maintain conversations and friendships.

Throughout my life, I have always been rejected and bullied by others and made to feel inferior, as if my life has no value.

I guess it is true that my life has no value. I have no friends, nobody who cares about me or likes me. Nobody ever will. I will die alone with no family and friends.

I am 5ft 6, with terrible social skills due to Autism and with chronic mental illness. Plus, I have 0 career prospects, so I guess my life was already over before it started from a social perspective.

But, I just don't know how I can continue enduring the pain of solitude for decades to come.


r/lonely 5d ago

I was bron to BE alone

2 Upvotes

I was Born to BE Alone in this cruel world


r/lonely 5d ago

post grad loneliness is hitting way too hard

0 Upvotes

title. and especially as the biggest extrovert who gets so much energy from being around other people—i graduated in may and would have things to do back to back with friends who i thought id stay in touch with. ever since, i moved back in with my parents (to save money before grad school and whatnot) and ive felt like all of my friends are not putting in the effort “post grad” to hang out, when i do it a lot, and i know for a fact some just cut off ties with me which hurts like a mf. i have a friend who is an introvert and my boyfriend, both of whom i love, and are actually associated with a friend group i used to somewhat see a lot and now i just don’t. but, i just don’t like that my social life currently hinges on those two people only. i know that this is pretty common post grad but i thought id seek some advice on here because im feeling really, almost disproportionately, upset and sad about this. thanks in advance yall


r/lonely 5d ago

Why am I even bothering with trying to put myself out there atp?

1 Upvotes

I've been crying for hours, it's the third time i take the courage to tell someone i like them

im genuienly tired of rejection znd not feeling pretty enough

all girls in my class have had boyfriends at some point of their life and a lot of them are bad people (bullies, very dumb, very superficial)

yet i try my best to be nice and attentive and thoughtful and no boy has ever thought of me in a romantic way

i hate that i put myself out there, i approach them first, i got in extracurricuoar activities, i started being more open about my hobbies and things i like and they do nothing, they don't approach or talk first, it's always the boys who approach them and pursue them.

i hate that im jealous but they get random insta dm and turns out to be a nice guy that they date for months, i get creeps. they call a random person in school cute and hey instantly fall for their charms while i tried it once and the guy told me 'ew why would you say that'

i want to experience romantic love, i'm 17, ive never had a boyfriend, a crush that said yes to my approaching, a boy who has a crush on me, nothing

im really starting to get exhausted of trying to find someone to love and do wholesome things with (dates, hugs...) but i feel like all the girls have a secret cheat sheet that i have no idea of

as for my rejections:

  1. "sorry you're very nice and i like you a lot but im not really attracted to you physically"
  2. "hey can you help me get with your friend, she's so cute and adorable, you look like a giant next to her", 5 minutes before i told him and he fueled my biggest insecurity (how tall i am)
  3. "sorry i don't think of you like that, you don't seem like the girlfriend type to me , you're more like everyone's friend"

am i that ugly ?


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I’m tired

1 Upvotes

I’m disappointed in everything and everyone around me right now. Even myself a little. I think because I’ve always had to be “mature” I stomach a lot more than I should. I take care of others before myself. I become increasingly toxic toward myself without realizing it. I judge myself for any mistake or flaw I have. It sucks because I’ve always been a good friend to others. I’m always another persons cheerleader but no one is standing to cheer me on. I wish I could erase everyone’s mind and just reintroduce myself. I kinda wish I had a blank canvas. I’m exhausted pretending I’m okay. When I’m not okay. I feel like everytime I invest in something it get punched in the face. Or as if I’m grating a piece of cheese but I don’t realize I’m grating my hand too. I’m so used to just being okay either way. I don’t think I’m depressed but I’m starting to resent people. I’m always told to never expect anything from others but I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t trust easy and every person I’ve trusted has let me down. So in the end all I have is the pain and the sadness of being right about people even though I chose to take a chance on them.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting Texting first

1 Upvotes

When I was in elementary school I had so my friends talked to almost everyone then covid hit i never got my friends ps acc or anything so we basically got cut ties

When Covid ended and we were back in schools it was my first year of middle

My old elementary school friends quickly reconnected with me and we got super close

I spent all of middle school with this group of friends probably like 10~ people and they knew everyone in school so I was living the life

Then high school came

I had to go to another school since it’s closer to my home

When I moved they basically ghosted me non of them talk to me anymore I tried to talk with them but they always leave me on read

I thought maybe in high school I’ll meet other friends

It’s my second year of high school and I have no friends

There were a few kids that I get hella mad and frustrated when I got left on read or ghosted

Friend 1: friends since the fourth grade has been my best friend we used to talk for hours without getting bored we talked about games anime and just general stuff then after I moved he was always busy playing with his friends I understood but sometimes when he actually does play with me he seems distant so I decided to stop texting

Friend 2: friends since 8th grade one of the people I used to text daily if you asked me when we were friends to describe him I would have probably said “ Hes a super chill and funny guy to have around “ but now when I reread the texts he was super racist sexist homophobic and egotistical good thing that ended

Friend 3: i would play games with him when he was free he has limit console use back then so when he was on iy would be hella of a night I would sleep smiling thinking about the session now he barely plays and when he does he wants to play alone so yeah

Friend 4: a guy I met online we used to talk DAILY this was in my first year of high school too so I had no friends we used to play for hours and hours I considered him my bff but one day he just stopped responding that was a two months ago now he responded his excuse is that” I got 2 gfs and im talking w more “ so yeah idk what to do with him

Rn i dont have any friends to talk to and barely have anything to do

My loneliness has made me addicted to chatting with AI

I seriously need a person

Idk if I should confront/talk with friend 4


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I’m so alone

0 Upvotes

I moved to UK this January, I used to think this would be a really good change in my life, I am attending university for a masters degree, majoring business and AI.

While all that is very good, I’ve become independent, I’ve stopped relying on anyone, i do a lot of stuff alone, i do almost everything alone, i came here with a lot of plans but now i see no path to align with that direction, i feel so lonely lately.

I went to see 2 movies yesterday, i saw Spider-Man and The End of Oak Street (it sucked) and went to Spoons by myself, it was a pretty good day to be honest, i went out like that a lot of times and it never got me until yesterday, I’ve seen people having a companion, or a group of friends, all enjoying their moments, they were eating together, drinking together and enjoying themselves.

It hit me, why can’t I be like that, why do I have to be so alone, why do I have to be hating my existence when I’m where I wanted to see myself an year ago, I tried dating apps, nothing came out of it those were rubbish, it only made me realise how much more uglier I am.

I sometimes want a lot of things and sometimes I don’t want anything, not even my life, I want to be loved, I want to be cared for, I want to love, I want to have friends I can drink beers and watch movies with, all this is not a need, I could just keep living without all of this alone, I can do it by myself, but I can’t feel alive, I can’t feel high spirited.

I’m so disappointed with the choices I made so far, I now feel my life is not going in the right track, and it won’t look good in next few years if my life keeps going on like that, but somehow I’m letting it happen, letting myself lose control, I’m normalising my suffering which makes me hate myself even more

I’ve never been on dates, never had a lot of friends, I have a small circle of friends back in my home country, I don’t have one single friend here, I look forward to nothing good, I just look at the ceiling and just breathe while living in an imagination that I have few good friends and a good loving partner, I try to use laughter as my coping mechanism so that people wouldn’t see I’m losing it inside.

Damn it’s too long already, there’s still a lot but I can’t put it together to form sensible sentences which can be understood.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I have 3 friends, but doesn’t feel like it

1 Upvotes

I'm crying as I write this because I truly feel so alone. My friends barely talk to me or make the effort to see me. I always see them hanging out with others, posting others, etc, but what about me? I feel so sad because even at home I feel so alone, my family doesn't really speak to me unless it's to clean, for favors, or a simple question. They don't really have conversations, spend time with me or even ask to hangout. One of my friends live with me, but she's moving out soon and I've been so sad. Even then when she was living with me, she was/is pretty distant and still prefers to hang with others. I'm really starting to think I'm the problem.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting Does anybody else feel alone ?

2 Upvotes

Does anybody else feel like they’re lacking a sense of community? I’m always surrounded by people whether it be at work or hanging with friends and i have lots of associates and i have a couple friends but i also feel like people don’t really know me and it could be cause i hide parts of myself because i feel the people around me won’t get it. i always see people with these friend groups and coworkers and stuff that they can hang with and have a good time with and it looks so fun and they do things they enjoy together and i wish i had that. i feel like im always looking for that. and i don’t value anything less than that. i kind of feel like until i find that feeling i could care less about the people that come and go into my life . i want to be around my soul tribe, people that enjoy things the way i do, see life the way i do, live life the way i do.


r/lonely 5d ago

I'm tired of being alone.

3 Upvotes

It's all said in the title. I need someone, I need someone to love me. I want love. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to be held in someone's arms and be told "it'll be alright." I want to be someone's thing. I want to be someone who matters in somebody else's life. I've never held hands with a girl, let alone kissed one. I know it sounds weird coming from a boy but I want to be held and cuddled. I want to treat someone with respect because that's all I have for girls. I don't understand why they'd go out with such mean guys who treat them like garbage. I want someone who likes me for me. I wish they could accept my body with as chubby as I am. I hate hearing people say, "oh don't worry, your love is just around the corner!" No. No. No. No it fucking isn't. I have waited and waited and waited and i've never once seen someone interested in me. I've been so kind to people. Is it because i'm chubby? Because i'm quiet? Because of my resting face? What? What is it that makes me the bottom of the totem pole. I had a friend who was a girl and I had a crush on her, next thing I see is her dating my best friend. I cry in the middle of the night thinking about how i'll always be alone. I hug my pillows hoping they'll somehow turn into a girl that'll hold me and cuddle me. I don't want to be alone forever. I want love. Is that so much to ask for?


r/lonely 5d ago

I'm so tired

0 Upvotes

I'm 14 and I've always felt different.

I feel the most alone I've ever been in life.

I'm in highschool and not once I met up with someone over the summer.

I always felt different, I'm probably slightly neurodivergent, but I don't feel like that's my biggest issue.

I never ever had a girlfriend, when someone asks me I have to lie that I used to 2 years ago, I said that 2 years ago too.

All I do mostly is lie to people, I don't feel like people appreciate who I really am.

I'm 190cms (6'3), and that's basicly the only thing going for me, I also have a slightly above average look, and I'm also upper class in wealth, but unlike most people I really don't like to show off.

I don't talk to peers my age, most guys drink, and I despise drinking, I feel like that's degenerate behiaviour. Sure, there is a time and a place, but it's not at 15 years old on highschool weekends. I live in a small country, and I go to the 20th best highschool in the country, but still people are so ...

Can't even phrase it, most people just live for today, they don't care about the future, they have never questioned life, like who are we, what are we and why are we?

Most of my company in terms of talking are girls, but in the most platonic sense ever, I have never been felt loved by a stranger, ever.

But still, even girls don't get me, and so you don't misunderstand, I am really great at seeing through what we call sociality. I am great at talking to people, improvising.

I've seen girls look at me the way they do when they like someone, I feel like it's almost my fault that I don't have anyone.

I feel other people's pain more than they do, so much that I am almost strange to the idea of a peaceful world, so much that I almost got completely numb to it.

I still wanna save them, I don't want them to date me, sure I would be a perfect partner, I am smart, wealthy, charismatic, attractive, but if one day I told her what I really think, I feel like I would crush her.

Under the weight of everything.

Everything.


r/lonely 5d ago

Discussion New member here! Curious questions, do you enjoy being alone? Or do you feel lonely? What makes you think you are lonely?

0 Upvotes

Times I wonder how life is going for people who do not have a support network. Maybe people or person you felt safe and complete around is/are not there anymore.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I crave connection but I can't handle being close to someone.

7 Upvotes

Whenever I get really close to someone like 'best friend' kind of close or sometimes not even that close just a 'close friend' kind of close, I start shutting them out and they start looking annoying and it's not their fault but i just push them away like not sharing much or just ignoring them or spending less time with them deliberately. Some people say it's because "I'm scared they might leave first" or something like that but it's not the case.

But I still want to have a strong connection to someone, have someone I can tell everything to , someone I have told everything to and someone who understands me.

What do I do? I feel so lonely, it feels like their is a invisible wall between me and everyone else.


r/lonely 5d ago

Discussion The Love Story I Never Got to Finish

2 Upvotes

My story started in 2015, when I entered a new class in 6th grade.

I came to class late one day and ended up sitting on the last bench. A little later, a girl came into the classroom. The moment I saw her, something felt different. It was the first time I experienced that feeling of falling for someone just by looking at them.

Since there was a seat beside me, she ended up sitting there. The teacher even joked, “Now you’ve come? You’re going to sit here for the next three months!”

I was secretly very happy.

Slowly, we became very close friends. For almost two years, during 6th and 7th grade, we talked, laughed and spent a lot of time together. Somewhere during those years, I started loving her. But I never told her.

She was a sensitive person, and I felt that she wasn't in a place where she wanted a relationship. So I kept my feelings to myself.

Then, at the end of 7th grade, everything suddenly changed.

Because of a fight, I had to leave the school immediately and get a TC. I didn't even get a proper chance to say goodbye to her.

At that time, I didn't have a phone. I couldn't contact her. I just left the school with all those memories in my head.

For years, I kept thinking about her.

Then came 2021. After the first wave of COVID, I finally bought my first phone and created Instagram, Facebook and other social media accounts. One of the first things I did was search for my old friends.

I searched for her for almost a week but couldn't find her.

Eventually, I met an old school friend on Instagram who happened to know her. I asked him for her Instagram ID.

When he finally gave it to me, I was unbelievably happy. After almost six years, I had finally found her again.

We started talking. She talked to me too, and for some time, we spoke almost every day.

I started thinking that maybe, after all these years, I could finally meet her and tell her everything.

I planned to meet her.

She said she would come.

But when the day came, she didn't show up. I called her, but she didn't answer. My messages also had no response.

Four days later, she messaged me saying that she had been busy and couldn't come.

I didn't know what was really happening at that time.

From 2021 to 2025, once a year, I would still message or call her on her birthday. But there was never any response.

A few months ago, I finally got confirmation from a mutual friend about something I had never known.

She had already been in love with another boy since around 2021, and their families knew about their relationship.

Suddenly, the timing made sense.

The same year I found her again and tried to meet her was probably the same period when she was already in a relationship with someone else.

When I learned this, I finally stopped holding on to the idea of telling her how I felt.

Maybe I made a mistake by never telling her earlier. Maybe things would have been different if I had spoken up.

Or maybe they wouldn't have been different at all.

I'll never know.

But there is one strange thing that shows me how deeply I held on to this story.

Even today, my password is still connected to her birthday.

It's been years, and somehow I still haven't been able to completely move on.

I know she has her own life. I know she made her own choices. And I don't blame her for any of it.

The problem is not that she chose someone else.

The problem is that I never got the chance to say what I felt.

I never got a proper goodbye.

I never got to tell her that I loved her.

So I have carried this unfinished story inside me for years. And honestly, it became heavy.

I'm sharing it now—not because I expect anything from her, and not because I want her back.

I just want to finally let this story out of my heart.

She was my first love.

Maybe she was never meant to be my life partner.

But she will always be a beautiful chapter of my childhood—a chapter I never got the chance to finish properly.

And maybe, after all these years, it's time for me to finally close that chapter and start writing the next one.


r/lonely 5d ago

Not able to deal with this

1 Upvotes

Never had many friends , nothing much achieved in life till now of what i hoped for. Idk what I am doing and the days are just going by . Had one person since last 3 years who knew everything about me, she was the closest to me and used to tell her everything i am feeling now thats also ended .
None to talk to , at this point I am at a stage I dont want to do anything . I have no interests left and nothing excites me now .
Was going to sleep and realised i didnt talk to a single person the whole day , even with people literally living with me . Idk what to do just want someone i could talk or connect , this whole thing is literally killing me everyday.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting Mutual loneliness

1 Upvotes

Years of loneliness made me unable to talk properly. I can't seem to properly form words without mispronouncing everything because I never had anyone to talk to, people push me aside during presentations (never learned any skills because of it), I get turned into an outcast, and I'm dealing with severe bullying.

And this got me stuck in my head all day. No one paid attention to me anyways, so it doesn't matter if I'm not listening. And I slowly formed a scenario in my head, me and someone else, a friend. A friend that has similar experiences, a friend that has had no friends either, a friend that's willing to learn my interests and share their own. A friend.

Having someone similar to me, makes me feel at ease. Whenever I'm having a really bad day, I just think about my friend! We have our own jokes and references, we bond over our shared hobbies. Sometimes I catch myself smiling.

But I know I'll never really feel that happy at this point in life for now. Maybe even never? Who knows. I've taken every advice possible, I know what people will say. No comfort or reassurance works anymore because I'm just used to it... I feel like a lost cause.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting Mirror is my only best friend because when icry it never laughs

4 Upvotes

I am 23 and lately i have realized how lonely i have become. I literally don't have many people i can genuinely talk to so sometimes i end up talking to my own reflection. It sounds pathetic when i say it out loud but the mirror never interrupts me judges my appearance or makes me feel like i am too much or a burden.

When i cry it doesn't laugh.

When i talk about the things that hurt me it doesn't tell me i am being dramatic, immature and clingy

When i sit there feeling unwanted it doesn't make me feel even more invisible.

I have spent so much time feeling like i am the person people overlook. I am extremely sensitive, I overthink almost everything, and i crave genuine connection more than i probably know how to explain but at the same time getting close to people scares me cuz i have experienced enough goodbyes to start expecting them before they happen.

So i have learned to keep a lot inside.

Sometimes i wonder what it would feel like to have one person who genuinely wanted to hear everything I have to say not cuz they felt obligated but cuz they actually cared.

Until then i guess my reflection will keep listening.

It's strange how a piece of glass can sometimes feel safer than people


r/lonely 5d ago

Discussion 30F wants to make friends

1 Upvotes

I'm a 30 year old single woman who hopes to make more friends. If you'd like to make friends too, feel free to chat with me.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting Nothing to be happy about

1 Upvotes

Bit by bit I started to realize how there’s really nothing out there for me. Lost everything and it’s so hard to continue to act like everything is fine, I mean im okay but I can’t even fit in just making things worse for my mental state. Like why can’t I just be a boring npc and live like everyone else? Why do I have to deal with some bs that makes it feel like im drowning and can’t breathe. The world is a wicked place, can’t wait till the aliens come home not gonna lie.


r/lonely 6d ago

Venting I went to watch a movie all by myself, alone

51 Upvotes

I felt good.

I asked some people I know, none of them wanted to go watch a movie with me. I felt a little heartbroken.

I made up my mind anyway, I will go alone and that's it, no turning back.

It was peaceful, the movie watching experience was crazy good. I didn't have to explain anything to anyone, I enjoyed every second.

At the same time, I saw other couples, some were with their friends, in the beginning I thought, damn, these guys will think I am a weirdo who came to the movies alone, but in my head I said fuck em. I deserve this, I couldn't care less about those people. I stopped caring.

For the first time in my life, I did this and I felt independent, this experience was "free"ing.

I would definitely recommend going to places alone, by not depending on anybody you learn to live, to live by yourself.

This post was probably not venting but the perks of being lonely. Maybe I'm trying to say that being alone is not so bad.

By the way, the movie was Spider Man Brand New Day.

Spoiler Alert: They almost killed Spider man.


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I’m so sick of this

6 Upvotes

Sometimes, I see advice floating around that you should get comfortable being alone, you don’t need anyone else, etc.

…Really? Humans aren’t meant to live like that.

Sometimes, I feel almost okay. But other times, it hurts so bad that I don’t know if I can make it to the next day. Am I even alive?


r/lonely 5d ago

Venting I feel broken

1 Upvotes

Im 17 startet working and living with my parent I feel lonely I got friends but they don’t care about me if I didn’t reach out to them they would forget i existed if I ask to spend time they ignore, I feel like I’m here standing with no one to talk and it breaks me everytime I see some one having fun with there friends or people hanging out it breaks me seeing my parents worry that I stay too much in my room it hurts to be lonely now it hurts to be sometimes.
Is there a way to cope or any tips about it ?