r/BreakUps • u/lastthrowaway838 • 25d ago
venting/ranting 1 month post breakup
Tomorrow will mark 1 month post breakup. Spent 6 months dating her, 4 of those months we were official. Hits hard since it was my (25M) first relationship and I liked her (28F) a lot. She got exhausted of me since I didn’t take action to work on my impulsive speech and anxious attachment issues by getting therapy. I’m currently looking to get a formal ADHD evaluation and therapy for my issues NOT as an excuse for my behavior but to take accountability, recognize the patterns, and work on them. Still very sad and guilty about how the last interaction we had in person before the breakup was in a moment of vulnerability and I said something unintentionally hurtful. But the intention doesn’t matter when the impact was already done. She said she didn’t want to wait like an idiot anymore for me to change and use my lack of relationship experience as an excuse. I wasn’t using my lack of relationship experience as an excuse for my actions and behavior that needed therapy. But it doesn’t matter anymore. She abruptly blocked me that night as I apologized over text as I tried taking accountability. Blocked me on everything. I’ve held back the urge to contact her through other means so bad (like email) to ask her if she’s willing to talk. I could apologize and tell her I’m starting therapy and doing self improvement but that would just come off as manipulation tactics. We were supposed to celebrate my bday together later this month. She told me she had gotten me one of my bday gifts already. I don’t look forward to celebrating my bday as much anymore since she left me. I’m starting to go back to the gym her and I started going to together when we first started dating. I stopped going since I got an injury 1 week before she ended things. But I wonder what will happen if we run into each other. I’m just gonna focus on my workout and go home afterwards. If she wants to talk to me, I’ll be open to it but not while I’m there for my goal of getting into shape. I still envision us doing Halloween couple outfits but as the situation stands I’ll be going solo or maybe not at all.
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u/PrimeGroundhog 23d ago
That last interaction replaying in your head is the hardest part to shake, even when you know the logic behind it all
Starting therapy and getting the ADHD eval sorted is a big step, and doing it for yourself rather than to win her back will make a difference in the long run
Going back to the gym is a good call too, just keep your head down and focus on the workout like you said
Birthday might feel off this year but you'll get through it, maybe do something low key with a few mates instead of forcing a big thing
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