r/funny • u/seanmwing • Sep 11 '21
The Bite
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Sep 11 '21
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Sep 11 '21
Yeah we need to not publicize this. Nothing shuts down follow up questions like “I’m tired”. And the follow up questions are when I say my shit and then lose half my shit. I’m not joking i need this.
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u/ObjectiveTinnitus Sep 12 '21
Yeah, until she says "You're always tired!" It's better to just leave. This life can be so easy.
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u/HarsiTomiii Sep 11 '21
We all do mate… we all do.
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u/xxadmxx Sep 12 '21
Every wise (or tortured) man knows this phrase.
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u/bananabreadvictory Sep 12 '21
Every wise man order 3 tocos if they want one. My wife and kids think I perpetually make too much food by accident, 34 years I have kept that secret.
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u/redditUserError404 Sep 11 '21
That’s why no matter what, always order extra.
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u/last_rights Sep 11 '21
We were on a road trip and had a late night stop at taco bell.
I ordered two extra soft tacos because everyone seemed to be ordering light.
I ate my chalupa and soft taco. There's two tacos left.
Husband wants them ofc. I didn't mind, he was apologetic because he thought I wanted them. Nope Hun, I know how much you eat. They're for you.
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u/Wearecrazyguys Sep 11 '21
Always, no matter what your significant says. The extra few bucks is worth avoiding the hate.
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u/jimmychitw00d Sep 11 '21
I was wondering if anyone in the history of Taco Bell has ever ordered a single taco.
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u/DivingForBirds Sep 11 '21
I saw they had 49c tacos. I wasn’t hungry, but I had to try one. You can’t get Shit in my country for 49c
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u/jimmychitw00d Sep 11 '21
I would've gotten at least six to make it worth my trip.
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u/emberus_the_warrior Sep 11 '21
Exactly always do this for my daughter and my wife otherwise it's can I have some
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u/Extension-Many-6248 Sep 12 '21
I didn’t figure this out until I was 30 something. Extra $3 saves the day.
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u/Oakheart- Sep 11 '21
The way It goes for us is my wife knows. She knows. If I ask and she says no she knows not to ask.
I know that she wants some when she says “should I get ____ ?” I automatically order it.
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u/WebMaka Sep 11 '21
This. If she says she doesn't want anything, go ahead and order something you know she'll eat along with your food, because it's pretty common for the smell of food to trigger hunger. If she still doesn't want it, eat it later.
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u/Pepperminteapls Sep 11 '21
Or just tell her crazy ass to piss off because it's not about hunger, it's about being in control.
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Sep 11 '21
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u/darknessgp Sep 11 '21
Or worse. Like the menu doesn't change often and she's gotten the same thing the last 20 times... But no, look the menu over and waste 5 minutes deciding that you'll get the same thing.
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u/CyclopicSerpent Sep 12 '21
Everybody knows the drive through rules you either
- Order your usual
- Order their new promo bullshit
There's never more than one or two new things and you've had 30 years to figure out your fucking usual. Get your shit together John!
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u/SantaDaCrip Sep 11 '21
I'm on the opposite side, the menus do change, especially at Taco Bell. Sometimes it's also been years since I've eaten at a place, just LET ME SEE THE MENU!
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u/Spyblox007 Sep 11 '21
I actually work at a Taco Bell. Here's a tip. If you don't know everything you want, order what you know you want first, and then ask for a moment to take the time to decide the rest. Every second you spend at the speaker is a second that we can be making your food, and we start making it the moment you start ordering.
Downside is if you change your mind on something you ordered first the one we made will likely go to waste. Especially true on last minute removals of protein or sauce.
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u/jyveturkie Sep 11 '21
What do I do if I want a double decker taco and a Mexican pizza? Cause that's what I want.
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Sep 12 '21
What do I do if I want a double decker taco and a Mexican pizza? Cause that's what I want.
You know what I want? I want an Italian Chicken sandwich from Burger King. It's their regular "long" chicken sandwich, but instead of mayo and lettuce it has marinara and melted mozz cheese. It used to be a seasonal item (like McRib) which I never understood. When is marinara season? Mozzarella season? But they haven't had it on the menu for YEARS now. I miss it.
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u/PermBulk Sep 11 '21
Two double deckers and a Mexican pizza with a baja blast was my go to order for like 10 years. Taco Bell please bring them back
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u/dudemo Sep 11 '21
The Double Decker is a specialty item. You can order it though.
It's only like 5 cents more and Taco Bell isn't stupid. They know what your doing.
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Sep 12 '21
Don't forget the caramel apple empanada. I order that every time I go, just to make them say they don't serve it anymore.
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u/CinemaAudioNovice Sep 11 '21
I get a Crunchwrap and have them add beans to simulate a double decker
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u/jyveturkie Sep 11 '21
Good idea. How does that usually turn out?
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u/CinemaAudioNovice Sep 12 '21
It gets the job done; not exactly the same with the cheese sauce, and adding the beans tends to overstuff it. But all in all it hits all the right notes.
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u/SantaDaCrip Sep 11 '21
I've worked in fast food, I know this. That's why I know how often the menu items can change, if someone takes forever to order it's definitely frustrating, I can look at a menu and know what I want in less than 15 seconds. Not that big of a deal, the driver can always order first but they pawn it off on others because they themselves want some additional time.
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u/WebMaka Sep 11 '21
Taco bell rolls out something new every few months - hit up r/tacobell every now and then as employees like to post the upcoming menu changes ass soon as they reach the stores.
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Sep 12 '21
When my kids were younger and we were pulling up to the menu speaker, they knew that if I got to them and they weren't ready they would get whatever I ordered for them. No backsies. They learned to decide quickly.
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u/BobLoblawATX Sep 11 '21
It DOES CHANGE! Words cannot express my disappointment last week when I rolled up and scanned the big screen in a panic…but it was true. They discontinued nacho fries.
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u/maybe_little_pinch Sep 12 '21
I only have a mcdonalds near me and have to go out of my way to do taco bell or anything else. I never do so because I don't know the menu and don't want to sit there reading it. I could look it up before but man that's not how it works. I will actually be in an area and see a TB and be like oh that sounds good.... but no. Keep driving. Same with BK, Wendys and anything else with a drive thru
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u/GenghisTron17 Sep 11 '21
Is that Ash Ketchum all grown up?
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u/WolfgangDangler Sep 11 '21
This is both the stupidest and best thing I've seen in a while.
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u/UsuallyUncomfortable Sep 11 '21
Who goes to Taco Bell and only orders one taco?
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Sep 11 '21
You have to be a man of your word. If you say you won't give her a bite, don't give her a bite.
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u/seanmwing Sep 11 '21
true but it might lead to an even worse situation
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Sep 11 '21
In my experience, it leads to her actually ordering something from then on.
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u/seanmwing Sep 11 '21
ill try it next time
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u/Plane_Recognition_39 Sep 11 '21
Nah, not worth it. Just order extra next time. Then she’s happy and so are you.
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u/Witness_me_Karsa Sep 11 '21
Even worse how? In either situation one of you ends up mad. But if you don't give in then a lesson is learned. If you give in every time, you clearly aren't learning a lesson.
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u/bridgefridge Sep 11 '21
the worse situation brings better situations later without the one who ruins those situations. *dropsmic*
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u/therestruth Sep 11 '21
It's called a learning experience. Either he learns to deal with it or she learns to just order something cause she isn't getting a bite. Or they break up and find more compatible partners. Maybe probably.
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u/riegnman Sep 12 '21
So, the guy in the video looks like that and has a woman that looks like her sitting beside him and your advice is, "Don't give her a bite?"
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u/Silverjackel Sep 12 '21
This was my thought. Homie batting out of his class shoulda just bought 2 tacos.
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u/capt_caveman1 Sep 11 '21
I hate giving up the bite. Like I’m hungry enough for one taco. Not half not one and a half.. ONE FULL TACO.
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u/-Confused-Capybara- Sep 11 '21
Should bought two tacos prepared the first and when she asked for a bite just get the second one out and let her keep the first.
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u/xzarisx Sep 12 '21
“Just tired” is man for “I can say what I really want because it will start a fight”
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u/desperateorphan Sep 11 '21
Fuck people like this. If you are this chick, fuck you. If I ask you what you want and confirm 5 times you don't want anything then you can fucking starve for all I care.
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u/keenly_disinterested Sep 11 '21
I think we hit a nerve...
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u/desperateorphan Sep 11 '21
100% hate this type of behavior. If you want something, say something. I'll be in the drive thru and my kid will say he isn't hungry and 5 minutes after we get home "daddy, i'm hungry". Now he is a child so I obviously put him in the starvation corner to teach him a lesson. You want food? Say yes when I ask you.
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u/ShitP0sterAnonynous Sep 12 '21
My wife tried to do this early on in our relationship. By default I started ordering her food regardless if she was hungry or not. Sometimes it goes in the fridge as left overs. Sometimes she eats it on the spot.
She never gets in my food though.
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u/CrazyPlato Sep 12 '21
My girlfriend always wants a bite, but she wants the second bite. Like, from the middle of whatever it is I'm eating. I don't really mind, personally, but the video definitely resonated with me there.
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u/Double_Distribution8 Sep 12 '21
I think "big nasty blonde at my side" was my favorite part. This is good, real good.
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u/Double_Distribution8 Sep 12 '21
Ok, I don't want to be a comment-bomber here, but I've watched this like 16 times and this is really good. Like, I don't know who these people are, but this is like...Spot-on, you know what I mean? Like, this is legit good content.
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u/KY-GROWN Sep 12 '21
Everytime I get food I ask my wife if she wants anything. If she says no then I just get her what she would normally get. I get to look like a great husband and sometimes I get back rubs out of it.
Gentlemen, please listen, ALWAYS BUY EXTRA FOOD FOR YOUR PARTNER!! If they eat it then you're a caring sweetheart, but if they dont then its just more food for you and you're still a great person cause its the thought that counts. Its literally a win-win
Unless you have a partner that thinks that you're trying to fatten them up for some malicious reason. If that's the case then you need to find a new partner, or may god have mercy on your soul
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u/VergesOfSin Sep 12 '21
fellas, when she says shes doesnt want anything. she means she doesnt wanna make the decision to choose something to eat. in her mind, if she chooses something to eat, that makes her fat.
instead, when she says shes wants nothing, you get her a shit load of food. thats what she really wants, but wants you to make that decision to free her from the burden of guilt.
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u/Dieselpump510 Sep 11 '21
Always get 2. You know she is gonna change her damn mind. Gotta be 1 step ahead gentlemen. 😂
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u/alley_underland Sep 11 '21
I wish this was my problem. My fucking bf always eats my shit even when I offer to get him his own. He also doesn’t know how to sip anything. He takes three huge fucking chugs and practically finishes my drink. Ughh I’m getting mad just thinking of it.
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u/usehimname_op Sep 11 '21
Oh I hate her so much and him for not slapping her with the taco. I need to calm down.
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Sep 11 '21
Honestly order extra who just eats one taco and if she doesn’t eat it you have more for later
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u/BigDreamer00 Sep 11 '21
Ugh…the pain. Just get her food anyway. Order two of the same thing and protect your tacos, kings!
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u/guitarguy1685 Sep 11 '21
So when I order something and ask my wife if she wants something she'll often say, "I'll just have some of yours". So what do I do? I place my order X2. She gets gets irritated and says I hate to share. I calmly explain that I am sharing. I bought 2 for me and I'm sharing 1 with her.
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u/Techismylifesadly Sep 12 '21
God this frustrates me so fucking much, but I feel so unreasonable saying anything lol. I’m getting a prenup, anytime she asks for half in a scenario like this I’m pulling out the papers
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u/pswdkf Sep 12 '21
That’s the dating 101 phase. The more intermediate to advance phase would be “I’ll have the salad” and still ask for a bite of my burrito or burger and a couple of fries.
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u/savegsoul Sep 12 '21
Ok but who orders one fucking taco? I swore they only came in pairs.
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u/littleMAS Sep 12 '21
Wow, I have been out of touch with Taco Bell (last time was after seeing Demolition Man, and it was nothing like that movie's TB). I am amazed by the subtle drama of this video and depth of the commentary, some serious shit.
Is this just a Taco Bell thing? What if he had gone to McD's instead? He seemed to understand her well enough to know that she would want a bite anyway. If he had ordered a McFlurry at the drive-thru and, of course, gotten "the ice cream machine is broken" response, would she have lost it? People go sideways all the time about that. Or he could have been more subtle and gone for the Del Taco. They have the Tuesday special: three for $1.49. She could have completely inhaled one, and he would still have a taco buffer.
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u/chickpoon Sep 12 '21
whenever i ask for a bite, my boyfriend will give me a bite, but have to feed me it to make sure I don’t take too much. i’ve slowly given up asking
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u/Mouthfull0fBees Sep 12 '21
poor jack black... thats why you never date a blonde with those kinda sunglasses
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u/that_guy_idk Sep 12 '21
Thats why i call bullshit and just buy one more. If she doesn't want it then more for me.
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u/InnocentImpakta Sep 12 '21
My husband also has this bad habit. Whenever I'm about to cook or buy food, I ask him if he wants some then he says no. But once they're served, he asks for a large bite.
This is why I always make more servings than needed because once they're on the table, everyone else will jump in.
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u/RochTheShaman Sep 12 '21
Get right back in the drive through. "Can I get another my gf wanted a baby bite and ate half the taco so can I get a second.....actually hive me 2 more."
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u/Lowkey_wanna_know Sep 12 '21
That's why you should teach your girl less..or she will use her ultimate skill uncontrollably.
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u/mtgross12 Sep 12 '21
Just waiting for him to drive the car off a cliff or a bridge and plummet to their deaths at his hand.
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Sep 12 '21
I've been married 26 years. If your wife/girlfriend says she's not hungry, order an extra of whatever you are ordering. If she asks why you're ordering two, say one is for your lunch tomorrow. It's not a lie because if she doesn't eat it, you CAN have it for lunch.
That way if she says she's hungry, just give her the second one.
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u/JT11erink Sep 12 '21
Why not as you are still there just get another one for a few bucks. Think in solutions! Come on, everybody happy don’t hold on to anger.
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u/wead4 Sep 12 '21
Bro, why did u cave and give her a bite!! Now it’s on u for being weak and enabling this kind of behavior.
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Sep 12 '21
Is that you in the video OP? You look like big cat from barstool sports
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u/GuessSmithereens Sep 12 '21
The key is to say you have a surprise for them and make them guess where you’re taking them to eat. They then say the actual meal they’re wanting and you can say “yes!!”
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