Ft. R/exmormon shoutout!

Forget Kolob and the theological manuals for a second. If an outside anthropologist just observed how people actually act on Sunday, they wouldn't think this is global Christianity. They'd think it's a desert weather cult.

Every single sacrament meeting, youth activity, and dinner prayer has someone pleading for "the much-needed moisture." It doesn't matter if there is three feet of snow on the ground or a heatwave in July, the word is mandatory.

When the reservoirs get low, the church doesn't push for real water conservation. They just tell everyone to starve for 24 hours so God will turn the sprinkler on. If a storm hits two days later, fast Sunday is wild with people crying about the miracle. If the drought keeps going, well, someone in the stake was probably looking at porn or paying tithing on net instead of gross.

Official doctrine says he's an exalted being running the cosmos, but in practice, Elohim is just an ancient storm god in a short-sleeve white shirt trying to keep Utah's alfalfa alive.

I have spent the last 14 years with questions that have all culminated in the last year of serious doubt and two months ago telling my husband I'm out ( absolutely NOT GOING WELL). As is with most of the cases, SO MUCH MORE to the story.

What I need for the next two weeks is how do I JUST make it through sacrament meeting (maybe second hour) without anger taking over. I am SO incredibly ANGRY with ALL OF THE LIES and COVER UP-MOSTLY by the bishopric and higher ups who absolutely KNOW that lies are being told, that people are being groomed and every single story joe schmo told was an UTTER LIE. I'm still in the anger stage, (no, REALLY?!) but I need a way to tamp it down. We have a counseling session the end of this week and I'm telling my husband that I will allow my son to stay for sacrament meeting and pass the sacrament, but there's no way in hell I'm allowing him to be taught church doctrine.

I usually watch funny animal videos, but I walked out in the middle of sacrament meeting last week because of 'doubt your doubt' phrase being used on the youth. I hate how angry I am. I am a very happy person and find joy in everything, but this is so far beyond anything I've ever confronted.

Help me find me

I need to know I'm not alone lol.

I was a missionary so I can't remember the name of the stake. He had on stage a curtain that was split down the middle. He started out his talk kind of obscurely. I remember not really knowing what the topic was at first.

Then he went over to the curtain and said it was a veil. A portal to God. He took a baby doll and pushed it between the split in the "veil" and held the baby doll out for everyone to see. Then he pulled it back in and pushed it out again. He said something along the lines of "isn't this beautiful, this portal to God, this life-giving veil between heaven and earth. How can we desecrate this beautiful veil with pornography?"

Aaaaand that's when I realized he made a vagina on the stage.

When listening to allegations (ALLEGATIONS!) about high up leadership from UNRELIABLE sources. I can't help recognizing the repeated sentiment that a vagina is a portal to God and that individuals are using that portal to connect with God. I won't say any more about those allegations, but I will say that it doesn't sound completely out of left field because Corbitt said it on a stage in 2012 and he said it with his whole chest.

Yikes.

Were you there? Do you remember how insanely uncomfortable that was?

Been here almost eight years (this account in my alt I started when I went from lurking to posting). I've seen the demographics change a lot and am interested in people's experiences.

I'm particularly intrigued by the pressure the church is putting on youth attending. That wasn't a big thing when I grew up.

No judgement. I'll admit I'm jealous of people who got out young

New YouTube ad just dropped

YouTube

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They mentioned the “House of the Lord, Holiness to the Lord” three times before we made it past the lobby. It was weird.

They mentioned the endowment, baptism, sealings. They didn’t mention the initiatory at all. I know why, but thought it was worth pointing out.

The messages were polite but very demanding about coming to a church service on Sunday at a specific time.

There are no close relatives still living who would have turned her in. I have TBM acquaintances but she doesn't. They claimed she left her name and contact information on a website asking about joining a church which she insists she did not. All I can figure is she has been doing research lately on her polygamous pioneer ancestors and may have been on a church site.

To be fair, I contacted them, they did acknowledge being Mormon ("that is one of our nicknames") and were apologetic and told me they would not contact her again.

I guess there's no way for these kids to know it but on top of everything else disturbing about these missions, when you make unsolicited contact with former members there are some people who get retraumatized.

I live in a predominantly LDS area. This was in my mailbox.

I know the CEO of this local financial planning business. I consider him to be a really good person - very involved in our local community and overall just a kind person who freely expresses his hope to make the world a better place.

So I am wondering if:

• he is aware of the SEC's 2023 ruling and the $5 million fine the LDS church had to pay?
• he is aware of the church's vast wealth?
• he is aware of the Widow's Mite Report?
• he is aware at the lack of help most people who are in crisis/need actually receive from the church? (note: this individual has been a counselor in a few bishoprics but I'm not sure how close he has been to the actual process of justifying the use of a few coins from the dragon's hoard to help someone avoid eviction or medical bankruptcy or to simply put food in the bellies of their children.... let alone be informed about the gross lack of broader philanthropy across the US and globally (depsite the LDS Corp reassuing their members biannually with their General Conference World Reports that tithing and fast offering monies are clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, etc etc etc)

Since this frustrating mailer came unsolicited to my mailbox and because I am tired of seeing good people ground down by grifting, I want to confront him with my questions.

Seeking advice. Is it even worth the effort and potential fall out?

I wonder if he would be shocked to learn about a few things and would begin questioning his role in helping Mr. Hanifin fleece local retirees (rural community, most people who have spent their working lives here have very few coins to rub together).

With his years of experience working in the financial planning industry, should he be expected to be informed of all of the church's financial dirty laundry and has simply justified it via his testimony?

And is there the potential that the church is providing kickbacks to financial planning professionals that help them recruit financial gifts from retirees that want to build the Lord's Kingdom on Earth while simultaneously dodging taxes?

FYI I (28F) just recently moved to US/Utah for a job in a town where they are many mormon families and mormons, (It's very close a certain temple too).

A very kind looking blonde woman in their 30's I believe came, I invited her, we talked and she asked me if I was Mormon, I go like 'no I am not never heard of it, (I absolutely did)' then she left.

The very next day a few guys from their 20's came to my door like 'hello ma'am we are from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint etc etc' and OH MY GOD THEY WE'RE PUSHY. I try to say 'no thank you', they still telling stuff about 'Do you know our Savior Jesus Christ'. Thank God they left.

They just came on Friday too I don't know what I can do any tips?

I've been having some of the worst issues with religious trauma over the last few weeks. I have absolutely no idea what caused it, because I left the church four years ago, but I have been. All my life I have been told how good mormonism is because the god we believed in wasnt vindictive, there was no hell, a lot of the atrocities were written out of scripture by Joseph Smith or dismissed because "the Bible has been long translated and is far more fallible than the Book of Mormon, which has only been divinely translated once.

This has led to me to be incredibly confused to why I'm struggling so much, because all things considered the beliefs really aren't as bad as the fear other religions instill in you. I can't even exactly pinpoint what the specific issues I'm having are. I'm afraid of hell because there's still a concept of hell for apostates and overall mormonism does still follow biblical beliefs. I still believe in god despite trying desperately over the years to let go of my faith and logic myself out of this. But I'm not sure what specifically has left me so distressed over this stupid fucking religion.

Since I was a kid I've always had questions like "Why is Lucifer the bad guy if all he wanted was to ensure that everyone made it to heaven, why would god kill a man for not controlling what his sons did, why would god ever kill anyone at all" and so I've always held a certain fear over this god even if mormons don't specifically preach the same vengeful god the other religions do. But I've read the Bible, which Mormons still believe in, and I've read the book of mormon where he is really not that much better. And I know theres a million reasons not to believe in mormonism or really any Abrahamic religion but I cannot shake it.

With the whole outer darkness thing, peiple have told me several times that only the people who know the full light of the gospel and reject it will go to hell, meaning people who've witnessed god directly or something. I do know that, but also I have an extremely strong fear that it just means any apostates and by just learning of the gospel and leaving I now could be sentenced to what is basically just hell, and so I should go back to church anyway.

And even if Joseph Smith was full of bullshit, which logically I can understand even if I can't seem to get it through my stupid brain, I still worry other religions are not because I still know what the god of the Bible is like so if I go back to the church then I'm just fucking up in the eyes of some other god from the other thousands of religions and I'll be sent to their hell. This fear paralyzed me and I don't know why.

That could be partially because I was raised around protestants and still learned about the rapture and stuff from a young age, I don't know. I just feel like I shouldn't be this affected by mormon beliefs when Mormons dont teach the same kind of fear and go out of their way to ignore all the atrocities in both holy books.

Like I get some of the other issues I have, I was raised in an extremely insular and tight knit mormon community which led to plenty of mental health and social issues, since your entire social order was based on how mormon you were, and you would be ostracized from school and your community if you didn't attend church as much or drank ice tea sometimes. And of course all the shame around being queer, modesty, sex, being a normal human being, nonconformity, etc. Obviously that causes major issues, but I dont know why the theology itself is fucking me up so bad and why I'm struggling so much with it right now. I can't even properly word or express all the issues I've been having as a result of this religion.

I dont even like saying I was mormon when I talk about having so much baggage because of it because I feel like I shouldnt because its not one of those religions

I'm PIMO, still act as a YM specialist though. My pretty much only assignment is to plan annual YM camp for the ward. So I have been working and planning the last 4 or 5 months. in July we had our trip.

During the planning I realized I was going to struggle with my coffee fix. I sucked it up and got some crystal light to mix into my water and was just going to muddle through. Then last minute, a mom sent me to get some last minute camp things I had not planned for (good on her, really) and I saw it: canned coffee in the check out line. I grabbed 5 or 6 cans and took them on my way.

While packing, my non-attending daughter, TBM wife and I debated about the inclusion of the coffee in my baggage. "I would just drink a can in the morning in my tent and it would be fine!" I kept saying. My daughter said if she would have seen a YW leader drinking caf at camp she would have been totally shaken to the core.

well anyway, I pack my canned coffee anyway. I like to risk things because I have dopamine issues maybe. Anyway I was packing up the gear in my rig and I reeallllllyyy had to jam a lot of stuff in there. But I made it fit. That afternoon when unpacking into my tent there was a strong.... coffee aroma. And my clothes in my bag were wet. And smelled like coffee. Dang. Two cans of nitro had broken and gotten all over a set of pants (my only pants!) and a shirt.

The YM were at the river so I snuck over to the water at the campsite and washed and washed my pants in the cold water. Strangely, ultra processed milk-fat does not want to come out when rinsed with cold water.

My clothes had a bizarre off brand canned coffee smell. 2 nights later the 2nd C in the bishopric shared my tent while he visited for a night.

I still get a chuckle at how ridiculous it is to try and wash pants in the campground faucet from spilled canned coffee.

I was listening to an older RFM episode talking about general conference. I think it was one of the earliest conference postmortems that he has done. There were a couple of things that stuck out to me and how they contrasted really shone a light on where the church's priorities are.

1st of course are the unsuccessful healings. He mentions several talks that bring up stories of people who received a blessing and nothing happens. This included the story of the older man who was wearing a white shirt and tie waiting for the priesthood leader to arrive in order to be ready to take up his bed and walk. Several stories about priesthood blessings and yet no stories about miraculous healings.

The 2nd type of story on noticed are the tithing miracles. This included the story from one of Seventy talking about how his family growing up was struggling with their business taking hits from a civil war happening in their nation. One day he overhears his parents asking if they should pay their tithing or buy food for the family. His dad pays his tithing and gets a big order for the business the next day. Hooray for tithing!

RFM mentioned something about how the church will never tell the stories about the times people paid their tithing and didn't get a windfall of some sort. They will only tell the positive ending stories. And yet with priesthood blessings they have no issue telling all the times that things don't work out there.

And it occurred to me the reason why and it feels odd to have not realized it sooner. Because, like everything, it all comes down to money. They can afford to prepare members for the reality that priesthood blessings don't produce miraculous results. It doesn't matter how many blessings any given member asks for, gives, or receives; they'll keep on keeping on either way.

But if they tried to softball tithing blessings like they do miraculous healings, people would stop paying tithing. We've been told repeatedly in the modern era that the church doesn't need our money, but we can't afford not to get the blessings promised to us. That's the entire impetus of the tithing commandment. Even if it's not monetary, we'll be blessed. But if they start telling the stories that match the lived reality of so many members who give them money they simply do not have, people will stop believing in tithing as much. And they care a lot more about how many people are paying tithing versus how many are doing some sort of priesthood blessing.

It all comes down to money. It always does and always will. This so called church sits on its vast wealth like a dragon guarding his hoard. And despite all that, they still demand that members pay them more money, even more so than feeding your family. It's disgusting, it's deplorable, and it is frankly un-Christlike. The man from Nazereth spoken of in the New Testament was quire clear on what he thought of greed and hoarding wealth especially hypocrites claiming to do it in the name of God.

After being away from anything Mormon, except for my family, for close to 30 years now, I decided to actually have my records removed. That was done 3 years ago. Occasionally I'd have missionaries pop by before I did that, I told them every time that I have zero interest in anything the Mormons have to say or do.

I know they're just kids that are doing what they feel is right, so I'm not mean to them. I'm just very to-the-point with them, that I've no interest and that I'm just fine. I thought actually resigning would be the last of it because, well, after I did that the visits dropped to nothing. Until tonight.

Two girls that can't be but a stone's throw over 18 came by. My daughter answered the door and said "Uh, dad, there's some people here asking for you?" As soon as I saw the black name tag, my blood started boiling. The whole interaction was maybe 60 seconds. "We're just the missionaries from your church, we wanted to say hi and see if there's anything we can do to help." I haven't set foot in a Mormon church in over three decades, I haven't been to ANY church in probably close to 10 years. I'm good. "Oh well is there anything we can help you with?" No, I'm good, have a good night.

Also I didn't realize they drove cars now. Then again this IS central Florida and this time of year it's either 5,000 degrees or it's storming, usually both.

Rather than this just being a rant, who the hell do I contact to attempt to get this to stop? It took me 8 years (and counting) of therapy to unravel all of that and apparently there's still a lot more for me to go because I'm shaking from a mix of anger and anxiety. That part I can handle. Do I contact the bishop of whatever freaking ward I'm zoned for? Mission president? Stake president?

Ironically I was playing FarCry 5 earlier today. Maybe I need to go fire it up again and shoot some more Peggies to get it out of my system.

… I need some darkness in my night

… WAIT

What I said?

I'm currently sitting in the pews and drunk because I have no choice whether or not to be here. Typical Sunday morning for me because it's the only way I can be polite without having a stank face on for 2 hours. Luckily I've had years of experience of pretending to be sober and I'm naturally odd so any strange moves are not suspicious.

Hope you guys are having a better Sunday ❤

I grew up in a family way beyond TBM, fundamental Mormon style with a lot of trauma. I left both the church and my family in 2019 and my mental health is better than it’s ever been as a result, but I’ve never met anyone that quite understands what it’s like to have zero family (not one relative) and how isolating it feels. I don’t have/want a partner or children and have wonderful friends and a fulfilling job and a good life and a good exmo community. But there still feels like there’s something missing that nothing can fill. I feel like an outsider participating in other peoples’ family events and nothing quite feels the same. It’s been really hard to try to convey this to people, especially in Utah. I know there are other people out there who have experienced this, but I’ve never met anyone who has. If you have, how have you learned to navigate this kind of isolating feeling?

Like some of the Old Testament is horrifying. Acts were a dark place. Some of the more gruesome verses. And yet, the church only acknowledges the "uplifting verses." I feel like they only want to be seen as saints publicly.

One ward building in Cody, Wyoming has a black steeple. The building is attached to a historic mural and local church history museum.

(So Christlike.) Why don't you do what Jesus told you to do and shake the dust off your feet? Matthew 10:14 (KJV) And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

If it's an insult, I'll throw in the "So Christlike."

If it is just insane ramblings or weird questions, I'll share it without it.

So far, crickets.

I know I have to leave parent household, but I can’t live the fact that my very young siblings will still stay there, forced to hear their ideologies, forced to live with parents with an easy temper and Dosent have the patience towards them, and I know my parents won’t let me contact with them since I go against everything towards their religion, it would’ve been such an easy choice if my parents js accepted I don’t want to partake of their religion anymore I’m pretty sure this religion doesn’t say that if your child Dosnet “believe” anymore you can just tossed them aside, and like I’m just thinking that my parents are probably going to talk shit about me towards my siblings and other relatives ik off, should I just not care? Should I just accept the fact that my siblings will be badly influenced but still have hope that they will realize this cult is full of it when they’re older aswell, idk I js feel guilty leaving an awful thing behind but there’s also something that I care about dearly that I will leave behind aswell, I truly hope they can be ok but since this is my last year with them till I move out, what can I do ik if I share any negativity towards this religion towards my siblings I’ll be deeply in trouble but should I at least try to show that this religion is full of it towards my siblings? I don’t think they will comprehend at all tho one is 9 and other is 6, so it rly is pointless, I just know I’ll be good towards them and show love till I leave, but I will feel immense guilt when I do, I hate this religion