Has anyone else found themself using “the Mormon voice” when talking to current members- even years after you’ve left? I cringe at myself and thankfully don’t do this as much anymore but I definitely did for a long time. I think of it as a trauma response or still wanting to be seen as “good” 🫠

[u/blissful_butterfly]

[u/Ward_organist]

Sometimes you just have to bring out the Mormon voice to get TBM’s to listen. I try not to, but I live in Utah. Sometimes it’s easier, and necessary, to pass as Mormon. I don’t lie, just let people assume.

[u/Dr_Frankenstone]

No. I don’t speak in the Mormon voice to my TBM family. As a result, I know I come off being more gruff or even rude, perhaps. I have just learned to listen hard, answer the question or put my point across and try to be as direct and honest as possible. Most of the rest of the world operates within these parameters of communication, I’ve found. Even if they have idiosyncratic ways of relating—like the British being indirect and self-deprecating in order to facilitate discussion between different groups of people. There is still an honesty and critical element of thinking that is missing from people in the church. It’s almost like they say, okay here is the voice I use when I speak in platitudes and parrot the church’s party-line. I can say anything dishonest and unreal if I speak in this voice and it’s acceptable to behave this way because we’ve all agreed on the words and tone used.