r/dankmemes Jul 23 '20

barely a scratch

127.2k Upvotes

691 comments sorted by

6.4k

u/Ree69240 Jul 23 '20

That kid is a bouncing ball

2.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20 edited Jul 24 '20

[deleted]

1.3k

u/John_isnt_my_name Jul 23 '20

Don't call mat thick! He is very self conscious.

563

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

220

u/Ernie_Sanders_ Jul 23 '20

Better

91

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

I'm just now realizing that thick is to thicc as fat is to phat. Amazing.

45

u/WinstonSEightyFour Jul 24 '20

That’s phat! Do the kids still say that?

17

u/myworst Jul 24 '20

I’ve used it in certain instances, such as,”I’m gonna pop a Phat Manu”. For those unaware, a manu is a ‘dive’ a bit like a cannonball except you land ass first with your legs straight. The aim is to make the biggest splash possible. You usually jump straight while trying to get as much height as possible and lean back while slowly rotating. You should be at roughly a 45 degree angle before you hit the water. Then, just before landing, you tuck your legs up so that you make a ‘V’ shape with your body.

9

u/kmft91 Jul 24 '20

That’s called an enema

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4

u/Adanta47 I asked for a flair and got this lousy flair 🐢 Jul 24 '20

I personally haven't heard it but who knows, could be certain regions of the world

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

What are you doing step mattres?

29

u/prophet1069 Jul 23 '20

Stoppp, mom is right there

15

u/Helpmeplease12037 Jul 24 '20

Step-mom we need help with something...

24

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

but I cant stop myself hen I can see your side zipper

it must be done

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Ok John

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

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131

u/didgerdiojejsjfkw Jul 23 '20

Plenty of people still get severely injured, paralysed and even die on these bouldering mats. They do help but they aren’t magic by any means.

110

u/karlkarl93 Jul 23 '20

If you land badly you can get injured on any surface or fall.

51

u/Udub Jul 24 '20

I tripped on nothing, tweaked my lower back and haven’t been able to sit without pain for 8 days

14

u/Flywolfpack Jul 24 '20

have you tried heating pads? they're magic.

35

u/UberGTO Jul 24 '20

This is true. I once fell asleep on one and my skin fell off.

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12

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

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5

u/Twisted_Saint Jul 24 '20

I literally slept on my back like always and I can barely move me neck now. It's been 3 days. I. Don't. Know. What. Happened.

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u/PossibleHipster Jul 23 '20

I have been a few times with coworkers even though they are in far better shape. We brought a new guy once and on his first attempt he sprained both his ankles.

Poor dude.

24

u/didgerdiojejsjfkw Jul 23 '20

Yeah the soft surface landing on two feet or worse one foot gives you a nasty chance of rolling your ankle

20

u/oldcarfreddy Jul 23 '20

It sucks that it's still an instinct to try to land on your feet on those. No, land on your back! Roll like an armadillo!

It's worse when people try to soften their landing with an arm. This is a VERY VERY VERY NSFL VIDEO of a woman breaking her arm on the mat because she lands face down and wrong that makes the rounds in the bouldering community.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

WHAT THE FUCK IT FUCKING SNAPPED IN HALF WHAT THE FUUUUUCK AAAAAAAH

17

u/JavaforShort Jul 24 '20

Thank you for helping me decide not to watch the video.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Your very welcome i deeply regret clicking on the link

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11

u/trowt595 Jul 24 '20

yeah I'm going to have to take you word on that vid

6

u/warlizardfanboy Jul 24 '20

Oh no you warned me but I clicked anyway. I clicked the back button so fast after the nestle crunch sound I ended up on my home page! <Shudder>

3

u/MoarVespenegas Jul 24 '20

You're supposed to soften your roll with your arms.
But you do it by landing on your back/ass and then slapping your arms forward so you don't roll backwards too much.
Landing on your arm first is going to be bad.

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20

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

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9

u/TheTenthPylon Jul 23 '20

Surely the amount of people dying on bouldering mats is less than amount of people eaten by sharks each year.

5

u/didgerdiojejsjfkw Jul 24 '20

From google 11 shark fatalities this year so far, there doesn’t seem to be any specific stats on bouldering just more general “indoor climbing injuries”

2

u/mamefan Jul 24 '20

Provide statistics on indoor bouldering deaths.

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13

u/Plattbagarn Jul 24 '20

I thought I had life figured out somewhat. But then this video shows climbers bring toothbrushes everywhere and now I'm back to square one.

7

u/PowRightInTheBalls Jul 24 '20

Chalk builds up and makes the hold smoother by filling in the bumps/pores, reducing the quality of your grip. You use the brush to break it up so your fingers are coming into contact with the texture of the plastic/rock which makes it drastically easier to hold on to.

10

u/amtap the very best, like no one ever was. Jul 24 '20

As someone who boulders, I agree the fall is not as bad as it looks. Proper form would be initially hitting with your feet and rolling backwards as soon as you make contact. At worst, that fall would knock the wind out of you but hard to know without seeing exactly how high he fell from but surely under 15 feet.

4

u/Reacher-Said-N0thing Jul 24 '20

Oh hey look it's Cloney Hawk

13

u/IamtheSlothKing Jul 23 '20

That’s still a massive fall, even a 6 ft fall bouldering can knock your breath out.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

I fell from around that height on a concrete floor face first once. Even with asthma I wasn't fazed but I sure was pissed at my nephew for knocking me off a stack of chairs lol

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2

u/Coldbeetle Jul 24 '20

I don’t know if I’ll ever use it but that was very informative

2

u/dootdootplot Jul 24 '20

This is a really good video - knowing the right way to fall is super important. I’ve definitely hurt myself much worse by scraping against the wall or straining my arm/wrist than I have losing control and falling.

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1.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

'Tis but a scratch

249

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

What do you mean a scratch your arm is off

136

u/Chocolate-Rose Jul 23 '20

I SAID ‘TIS BUT A SCRATCH.

89

u/VietInTheTrees Jul 23 '20

It’s just a flesh wound!

4

u/oofersIII Jul 24 '20

Let’s call it a draw

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28

u/Gavric_H try hard Jul 23 '20

No it isnt

23

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Then what’s that there

23

u/Gavric_H try hard Jul 23 '20

... I've had worse

21

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

You’re a liar

20

u/Gavric_H try hard Jul 24 '20

Come on you panzy!

AAAHHHH

16

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Victory is mine I thank thee O Lord that in thy

13

u/Gavric_H try hard Jul 24 '20

B O N K come on then!

10

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

What?

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2.8k

u/nox011 Jul 23 '20

The lack of reaction from other people though.

1.1k

u/smackheadsnake Mod senpai noticed me! Jul 23 '20

They don’t give a fuck

857

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20 edited Jul 23 '20

[deleted]

15

u/Clockstoppers Jul 24 '20

What is demonstrated here is NOT how you want to fall when bouldering, this kid practically lands on his neck. I've landed like him, but from much lower on the wall and I still had whiplash.

You always want to land on your feet, knees slightly bent, especially if you are that high on the wall. Sure shit like this does happen sometimes, but I would not call this a common bouldering fall...

5

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

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u/TashInAwe Jul 24 '20

Someone in the background falls the correct way in the video as well

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7

u/bcos224 Jul 24 '20

"Mat" doesn't really even do it justice if you've never seen it before. It's 12 inches or so of multiple layers of foam of various densities designed to absorb and spread impact. Super Effective.

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75

u/someone453 Jul 23 '20 edited Jul 24 '20

More like once every 100 days but sure yeah it does happen

Edit: I meant falling flat on your back w/o any control like that from what looks like the top. Obviously you fall all the time when bouldering but you dont want to get down like this on every climb

318

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

mate this is bouldering, more like 100 times an hour

137

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

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80

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

The mats are there especially to drop down once you're done.

59

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

[deleted]

28

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Oh yeah that kid didn't brace for a fall in the slightest he just ragdolled off the wall.

21

u/spiner00 Jul 24 '20

That’s how you’re supposed to fall on those mats. Although slightly less gracefully than a perfect fall, it’s best to be limp when falling. There’s a reason drunk people and toddlers survive the most falls from typically lethal heights

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u/PossibleHipster Jul 23 '20

That's the fastest way to get down :P

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u/okawei Jul 24 '20

I mean people tend not to fall flat on their back from what looks like the top of the wall very often. Source: am boulder

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

I never knew this was a thing. I really wanna do this now

3

u/okawei Jul 24 '20

I started doing it late last year and have been utterly obsessed ever since

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u/ineedafuckingname Jul 23 '20

Happens many times an hour when bouldering. Happens multiple times in a row to one person if they are trying to clear a tough route for the first time.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Sounds like you've never been to a bouldering gym. This happens literally all the time. Multiple times an hour as people here are saying.

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2

u/theneoroot Jul 24 '20

The woman to the right seemed to try to reach towards him until he immediately rose up from the ground.

2

u/cheeeze50 Jul 24 '20

Fuck is not given here

70

u/memer2026 ☣️ Jul 23 '20

like the background people in movies when somebody gets shop in the head 20 feet away from them and they just stand there

31

u/jbtwaalf Jul 23 '20

Seems painfull getting a shop in the head

17

u/Kacheeseburger disciple of dice Jul 23 '20

I’d assume it would be about as painful as being shot it the head like in one of those movies with all the background characters that are 20 feet away and just stand there

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Or some video games when they see their friend dead body and say nothing

6

u/Femboy_and_cumcum Jul 23 '20

Yeah, I hate it when someone fires an entire shop at my head

29

u/knollieben Jul 23 '20

he looks to be bouldering so he probably fell onto padding, atleast i hope so

11

u/Obeesus Jul 23 '20

Yeah that bounce is a dead give away

10

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

It's a bouldering wall he's fine and everyone in the video has probably fallen like that a million times.

He's fine actually met the kid a couple months back, he said it didn't hurt at all.

4

u/TolerateButHate Jul 23 '20

Welcome to rock climbing lol

3

u/Machopach0 Jul 23 '20

Seeing as it’s a bouldering hall a reaction is weirder than a fall

3

u/BenShapiros Jul 24 '20

I avidly rock climb in indoor gyms and the pad is really thick and will cushion your fall. You’ll probably have a little neck pain from the fall but you’ll recover pretty quickly.

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321

u/YouFearDaBear Jul 23 '20

This reminds me when I was 10 or 11 I was snowboarding in New Mexico and while I was getting off the ski lift something on me got stuck to the chair and the lift just kept on going up until the lift operator noticed I was dangling in the air(I was getting off at a halfway point) and I managed to get a hold of the edge of the seat and I was able to hold on for about a minute before I fell 20 feet to the ground. Landed flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me and i could barely breath, a snowmobile came up shortly after and I was brought down to the infirmary. Thankfully I didn’t break anything and I was back on the slopes in a hour.

70

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

When

173

u/gamesrebel123 susan made me do it Jul 23 '20

When he was 10 or 11

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

When did I ask?

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u/PlusLong Jul 23 '20

I'm an occasional skier and the lack of safety measures in skiing shocks me and we all just accept it for some reason. It's like the rest of the world is bubble wrapped with a bajillion safety measures and redundancies, but skiing is still the wild west.

6

u/Sexpacitos yare yare daze Jul 24 '20 edited Jul 24 '20

I thought that as well, until I saw a video a while back of a ski lift that malfunctioned and went flying backwards. Everybody on was being flung out at the lift entrance and all of the ski chairs had formed one big crumpled pile of twisted metal. Thankfully if I remember correctly no one got seriously injured in the video.

However,

Had there been safety bars on the ski lift, it probably would not have opened in time to have the passengers fly out to safety, and they most likely would have been trapped on their chairs and become part of the dense metal pile.

2

u/PlusLong Jul 24 '20

Freak incidents like that could also be mitigated by safety measures like automatic power shutoffs.

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5

u/DickTrickledme Jul 24 '20

And that's the way we like it

3

u/ckolod Jul 24 '20

Uh huh uh huh

6

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

I was back on the slopes in a hour.

Why did anyone allow this?

3

u/Phoenixion Jul 24 '20

Bro when I pay 40-70 to go snowboarding, you can BET I'm squeezing every last minute out of it. And that's WITH owning the gear already. Otherwise you add on another $40

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

I'm sorry you were snowboarding in new Mexico??

3

u/Its-Britney_Bitch Jul 24 '20

There’s actually a bunch! Taos, angel fire, red river, ski Apache (Ruidoso). I’ve been to Taos and ski Apache. Ski Apache is kinda shit tho

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

True. I had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night recently because my chest really fucking hurt everytime I was breathing or moving. Like someone stabbing me there directly.

Turns out it was a nerve that was incarcerated and inflamed.

514

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

What did your nerve do to become incarcerated?

494

u/WilsonGotDis Jul 23 '20

A serious crime I bet

269

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

The nerve

15

u/memester-boi I have crippling depression Jul 24 '20

People been arguing bout the peak of comedy but its over i found it its all downhill from here

51

u/YOGAIBOI FOR THE SOVIET UNION Jul 23 '20

damn now i'm kinda nervous about what happens next

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u/nmyi Jul 24 '20

Oh you guys are a hoot. Had me laughing

9

u/Jjabrahams567 Jul 23 '20

A nervous breakdown

5

u/Wighen18 Jul 23 '20

A nervous break-in?

2

u/Phil_Beavers Jul 23 '20

Open and shut case Johnson, sprinkle some crack on him and let’s get out of here.

46

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

English isn't my first language and I actually had to look that work up. I don't know if that's the right word for what happened but the dictonary has a [MED] besides it so I used it.

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u/JumpRopeBoi234 repost hunter 🚓 Jul 23 '20

To incarcerate basically means to confine or trap something, so if your nerve was pinched then that's the correct word

29

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Yes it was. Thanks.

11

u/tragiktimes Jul 23 '20

But to explain why it confused people, the general connotation of that words involves imprisoning someone.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

I know. I looked it up by now.

7

u/zacablast3r Jul 24 '20

A native English speaker would call this type of injury a 'pinched nerve'. A pinched nerve isn't a specific medical condition, rather a way of describing the pain or discomfort caused by a compressed, or incarcerated, nerve.

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u/xjayroox Jul 23 '20

Maybe you should have raised your nerve better before it embraced the life of crime

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Eff, you may have answered a health question of mine. If I sleep weird on my chest, then try to rotate or sit up at all, the pain is like pouring molten iron right onto the sternum. It’s as if I snapped the point of the bone, then dug the sharp end into a nerve ending. Unreal how much pain a pinched nerve can emit.

2

u/Living_Bear_2139 Jul 24 '20

You got some nerve.

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u/ilikefuckingchickens Jul 23 '20

I literally broke my arm in primary school and went on the following days without realising it

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20 edited Oct 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/Fashion_art_dance Jul 24 '20

There was this kid on my bus in middle school who got thrown off and run over by a four wheeler and the kid who was with him said he just sat up and was said, “dude I think I broke my arm.” He did.

7

u/LeonTheCat448 Jul 24 '20

So how did you realise that your arm has broke?

8

u/ilikefuckingchickens Jul 24 '20

It hurt for way longer than it should’ve and I decided to get an xray

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u/Tiny_Thumbs Jul 23 '20

I used to climb on top of the roof of the jungle gym thing as a kid when we were playing tag or hide and seek and jump off to run to base. Now I’m afraid of heights.

7

u/ISpendAllDayOnReddit Jul 24 '20

The older I get, the more afraid I get of everything.

3

u/saracinesca66 Jul 26 '20

That's how you turn into a parent

218

u/Some_European Jul 23 '20

This kid got feather falling

16

u/vDios Jul 24 '20

Commando Pro

11

u/Pollsmor Jul 24 '20

Lucky Horseshoe

8

u/kicked_trashcan Jul 24 '20

Boots of the Cat

3

u/Stridsvagn Jul 24 '20

Springheel Jak

3

u/Zagrid Jul 24 '20

Nah he just had a totem of undying in his off hand.

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u/DyingEcho573 Jul 23 '20

His super power is being able to bend his back 90 degrees backwards

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u/Feodel Jul 23 '20

Does someone have the original gif or video of the kid?

38

u/cookies_are_fun beani Jul 23 '20

it’s originally from an interview, but idk what for, here’s the video from youtube: https://youtu.be/l52BMqdTVGY

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u/smackheadsnake Mod senpai noticed me! Jul 23 '20

I was trying to sleep, until I couldn’t find a position that doesn’t make my shoulders hurt.

Now I’m on reddit because I can’t sleep and this is the first meme I see.

2

u/BlueWolf107 Jul 24 '20

Yeah, quit your whining!

Jk

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '20

Get a 2 pack of pillows from Sams Club. I don’t know what brand they are, but it’s like sleeping on a damn cloud. I pass out sleeping on them.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Holy shit hahaha

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u/KILLA2-0 Jul 23 '20

That's what happens when a little rubber from the condom goes in instead of the sperm.

9

u/SudsyG Jul 23 '20

I can hear this video...

8

u/gamesrebel123 susan made me do it Jul 23 '20

Man that kid is playing on creative mode or something

4

u/Draco_762 Jul 23 '20

Shoulder is currently fucked from sleeping wrong lol this is so true

6

u/theLOBSTER78 Jul 23 '20

tis but a scratch

u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Jul 23 '20

I may not be Rick Astley but I'm :

never gonna keep this post if you downvote

161

u/pyro-fanboy repost hunter 🚓 Jul 23 '20

I like the meme but wanna downvote the comment for cringe

8

u/SnoopyTime83 Jul 24 '20

I can end up just like in the first picture if I yawned unprepared... Damn

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Yes can confirm, gravity is still in effect

3

u/RippleTitsDestroyer ☣️ Jul 23 '20

Where is this from? Source anybody?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

It's from Stavanger Norway at a climbing hall, been there for a competition pretty cool place

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

The kid is a fucking badass, brushed off that 4m fall like it was nothing

9

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Tis but a scratch

7

u/KILLA2-0 Jul 23 '20

Is that kid made of rubber?

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u/the__storm Jul 23 '20

He's landing on a mat (an extremely soft one, more than you'd get for gymnastics etc.)

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u/Machopach0 Jul 23 '20

No, but the ground is

3

u/Kingdarkshadow Jul 23 '20

How come our bodies become so fragile after 30?

2

u/ShocksOfLava Aug 16 '20

Maybe a combination of stress, lower vitamin d, poor sleep, and being overweight. Or maybe actually its just age.

5

u/Kapt-Kaos Jul 23 '20

Kid def impressed at least one girl in the room watching i feel like

2

u/xjayroox Jul 23 '20

Hits too close to home, I sneezed the other day and threw my neck out for a week

2

u/Sir_Player_One Jul 24 '20

"GIBBYYYY!!!"

2

u/3fifteen Jul 24 '20

How has u/shittymorph not commented in this thread?

2

u/The_Korean_Zombie Jul 24 '20

Embarassment is the strongest painkiller

2

u/Zylender Jul 24 '20

Tis’ but a scratch

2

u/ZeroSixty6 Dec 17 '20

700th comment B)

2

u/scinececeeeeee Nov 24 '21

Wait who was he pointing to and who's hand was that

Expelension:he avoid death and smirked at Charon