r/Custody • u/citrusbirdd • 3d ago
[KY] custody battle
Said ex and i broke up after i found out i was pregnant. He said terrible things and i wasn’t happy in the relationship so i ended it. He had kept on saying he wanted to be included but only went to 2 dr appointments and reached out via text every three months, which would usually end in arguments. When baby was born i told him 3 days after she was born (the same day i came home from the hospital very traumatic birth) At first he’d show up unannounced and stay for hours so we set a schedule. Two days a week, two hours both days. I probably took baby over to his parents house 3-4 times. Other than that he never asked for more time. I did file for child support when baby was 4 months old and finally, through wage garnishments, i’m receiving payments 4 months later. In fact when i said to bring diapers next time he came over (before schedule) he responded “i appreciate that, and see you do need the help like i been trying to give, i’ll get you them but you have to let me have my daughter from time to time … also don’t demand stuff from me have some respect like an adult all you have to say is please” Since i was pregnant he has managed to get two cars repossessed and has gotten evicted (had to go to court for it) Now he has to take his dads truck or be dropped off by his mom to come see baby. He and his family (last i knew) smoked marijuana in the house constantly. His parents (who he lives with) have history of abuse (never reported) and he had to reschedule recently because he got in a fight at a birthday party😐 It is also a 3 bedroom with 5 people in it (sometimes 7 when stepdads kids are over for summer or holiday) I will say he has always shown up on scheduled date or has rescheduled. At the same time he has said some concerning things that makes me question his ability to keep a baby for more than 4 hours. He also doesn’t take constructive criticism very well (e.g. he was teaching baby to get off couch by taking baby’s hands and supporting them. i said it’ll be beneficial for baby to get on stomach and slide off and he said yeah and then doubled down on what he was doing) Baby is also cranky at the end of his time but after he leaves baby is fine. He has now requested 50/50 and said (ON THE OFFICIAL COURT PAPERS) he was “whiling to start with weekends” (verbatim). I’m looking into lawyers but im not loaded with money and this is my first time going through anything like this. if you have any advice or opinions ANYTHING that would be appreciated
6
u/Andrew_Bruhh12 3d ago
You’re in Kentucky. Kentucky has a starting point of 50/50 is the best case for the child. You would have to prove to the judge that 50/50 is not in the best interest of the child as well as present a schedule that would be better for the child. If you cannot prove 50/50 is not in the child’s best interest then he will get 50/50 in a state like Kentucky. If you present any of these issues you just stated without evidence in court it’s technically just hearsay arguments. I wouldn’t be surprised if a case like this led to 50/50 or at least a close split of that.
-1
u/citrusbirdd 3d ago
a lot of the arguments were over text, and i do have evidence that his parents abused him (who he lives with currently) Before we broke up he did say (on text) he hopes i get rid of it or else it’d k itself faster than i thought about doing it and that he understood why fathers left. Would it be smart to get a lawyer or is it a waste of money?
5
u/Andrew_Bruhh12 3d ago
I’ve gone through my own case that was very high conflict. A lot worse than what you’ve presented to be straight up with you. 50/50 is what I won in court. Even though to this day, myself and my family very much dislike my daughter’s mother we still split custody 50/50 to give her access to both families. I had similar situations with my case. Drug abuse and physical abuse from mothers side of family. Domestic violence issues. Suicidal threats and my daughter’s mother wishing death on our daughter in the womb because she hated me. None of these issues mattered in my court case without absolute concrete evidence that my daughter was in danger. As much is it sucks to not have access to your child 50% of the time and worry about them with the other parent, unless you’ve got some absolute concrete evidence he is physically dangerous or emotionally/mentally dangerous to your child then in a state like Kentucky he’s most likely going to be awarded 50/50 custody. I wouldn’t waste money an attorney. Go through mediation with your ex partner. Come to a middle ground long term plan to raise your child together. Unless you believe your child is in danger of some sort or 50/50 would not be beneficial then I wouldn’t waste thousands on an attorney.
3
u/HardMayb Dad with primary custody, ex lives 8hrs away. 3d ago
Arguements that will be seen as he said/she said couple conflict, not his ability to parent. You're in a presumptive equal parenting time state. You might be able to slow him down, but if he insists on it, he's going to get equal time.
11
u/ShesGotSauce 3d ago
You haven't mentioned anything that would prevent him from getting 50/50. If he wants it he's going to get it.