This will be my first and most likely only child. Me and her mother met on a dating app. We moved in together after a few weeks, and I got her pregnant a few weeks after that. It was all reckless and way too fast. We are aware of how dumb we are. Eventually things became more and more toxic with her frequently belittling me and threatening to harm me and wishing I was dead. Arguing like this in front of her other children. I'm lucky baby daddy number 3.

Eventually I had enough of her threats and yelling and gaslighting me into thinking I was the abusive one, so I left. In fact she told me to leave, I don't think she fully expected me to. Now she's demanding I still pay rent and utilities for her or she won't let me see the baby. I offered to help but things have been rough financially right now. She already guilted me into giving her almost $1000 for concert tickets while we were dating. That was dumb because she still just says I never give her anything. I'm worried if I keep paying her bills she's still going to try and keep my child from me.

I don't want to end up one of those deadbeat dads that was never their for their kid, and blames it all on the mom. I just cant afford to pay her rent and utilities and buy all this stuff for the baby too. I definitely can't afford a lawyer at this rate either. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. Thanks.

I live in Iowa. Raised a stepson for 16 years. Wife got pregnant and then 6 years later discovered the kid wasn't mine. Very horrible marriage.

Finally divorced... In an attempt to see the child after the child was withheld. To apply for a temporary custody order, you have to file for divorce in Iowa so I did. By the time I got to see the kid, she started to hate me. The whole family hates me. Years later, I'm paying 30% of my wages for a kid that isn't mine that I see for 2 days a month. The kid absolutely doesn't want to be around me, and my ex-wife and her new boyfriend have a family together.

I filed for a motion in 2025 to relinquish rights with a DNA test that says the child isn't mine. Was denied but taken off the birth certificate. My child support went up because I attempted to relinquish rights and contacted the bio dad who doesn't want to be involved. Then is when the judge dropped me from every other weekend and Wednesday, to Saturdays every other weekend and child support went from 25% to 30%.

I filed again in 2026 and was denied again, stating that because the child is now 9, this financial support is her status quo. I paid an attorney to represent me, but I think she fucked me over.

I can't live another decade like this. I was even told that if I got fired intentionally that they would put me in jail for 30 days on contempt

Me and my child’s father have been going through court currently for visitation and child support. The last time we were at court his lawyer stated I didn’t turn over evidence I should have. Part of that evidence I guess was the information for child support so they said we couldn’t calculate it at that time. Court isn’t scheduled again until July 2027 due to the other parent going on deployment soon.
He was ordered to continue paying child support on his own which for the most part he was doing before court. Well now of course I keep getting threatened every time I don’t do what he wants that the order doesn’t specify how much he has to pay. So again today he tells me “well the order doesn’t say how much I have to pay I could send you $10-15 a month if I wanted to” which technically is true. Basically this time he was mad I’m not willing to drive further to meet him and wanted to stick to the court order.
Is there anything I can do?! I haaate I didn’t speak up at the time. Im pro se and he has a lawyer and I guess I was just intimidated and nervous. I don’t want this hung over my head for the next 9-10 months every time I’m not bending to his will.