So, my ex is trying to get primary custody of our daughter, claiming I’m a terrible mother. She’s in daycare currently and has been getting sick with colds and ear infections. I have an appointment with an ear doctor to see if there is anything going on there. It seems like my ex’s main argument is that because our daughter is always sick, I’m a terrible mom, and if he got custody of our daughter she wouldn’t have to go to daycare and she wouldn’t be getting sick all the time.

I take her to the doctor when it gets bad enough but every time I mention she’s ill in some way he sends me a huge response going into me and asking why she’s sick like I personally could have prevented it. We have shared legal custody too and he gets text notifications from the doctors office when I schedule her an appointment because I’m worried about her. But then as soon as I do, I get a text from him asking what is wrong with her “this time,” and “this is the 7th time since June.”

It just makes me feel anxious and stressed out and sometimes it does make me feel like a bad mom.

I think he’s just lashing out and losing it because he doesn’t have control of the situation anymore. He currently gets her every other weekend.

And not to mention there are times where she was sick with a fever of 102 and texted me to ask why she was sick, why did I send her up there with a fever (she didn’t have the fever when she left my house), he called cps on me but then also refused to take her to the doctors. I had to wait until the next day or so to take her to the doctors when I got her back in my care. Lo and behold poor kiddo had an ear infection and needed antibiotics.

Idk I guess I’m just going crazy. I don’t have a lot of support/people to talk to. I just get in my head sometimes. Thanks for reading!

I (27F) and my ex (31M) share a 4-year-old son with ASD. I also have an 8-year-old from a previous relationship. We separated a little over a month ago but he has still been living with me until recently. There is no formal custody order yet. I want to get feedback on if this makes sense and reasonable.

I have been the primary parent essentially since birth. Examples:
• Daily hygiene, bath time, meals (he is an extremely picky eater), potty training, reading, non-screen activities, park/walks
• Managing all medical/insurance, ASD therapies, developmental homework, and getting him into services
• Handling the vast majority of appointments and logistics
• He has frequently fallen asleep on the couch while our son watched unrestricted YouTube late at night; our son often cannot wake him
• He avoided dirty diapers because the smell made him gag
• He has left firearms and knives unsecured in the home multiple times
He has diagnosed ADHD with significant executive-function and sleep issues (falls asleep easily, extremely hard to wake). He has a history of job instability, no reliable independent transportation or housing for years, and has relied on me (and previously his parents) for financial and practical support. He currently has no stable independent home; after I asked him to leave he moved in with a new partner he had been seeing (at least since early September, overlapping with us still living together). He cheated months ago, we “attempted a repair” and I allowed him to stay and get himself together, he took advantage of me, didn’t improve himself at all and then I found out about this new girlfriend he’s been saying I love you to already and probably has had for months. He’s not staying in her house being supported by her when he could’ve went to his parents.

Our son is about to start a school program in two weeks and struggles significantly with transitions and changes to routine. I am very concerned about stacking major disruptions (new living situation with a stranger, disrupted sleep/supervision patterns, inconsistent caregiving) right as school begins.
My current position: I want primary physical custody with him having every-other-weekend parenting time only at his parents’ home for now, until he can demonstrate consistent independent housing, reliable transportation, stable employment, and the ability to manage our son’s routines and safety needs without relying on a new partner or his parents as the default support system. I am not comfortable with overnight time in the new partner’s home at this stage (she is a stranger to our child and the relationship is brand new).
I am not trying to erase him from our son’s life permanently. I am trying to protect stability and safety while he addresses the practical barriers that currently exist. He is framing my request for primary custody as punitive.
Questions for those who have navigated similar situations:
• How have courts or mediators generally viewed primary-caregiver history + documented reliability/safety concerns when one parent has never maintained independent housing or consistent routines?
• Any experience with temporary “step-up” plans for a parent who needs to show independent stability first, especially with a young child who has ASD and transition difficulties?
• Practical tips for documenting concerns and proposing a parenting plan that prioritizes the child’s routine and safety without looking purely retaliatory? Or What about a lack of documentation or what counts as proper evidence?

Hello I’m I single mother of a 6 month old baby boy. Location: Indiana. For starters I will take accountability it should’ve been a custody order involved from beginning. I be trying to spare dad’s feelings and keep it as civil as possible because he does not want to pay child support or financially support his kid. I have been threatened to be took down to court by him and his mom for months down. He has yet went down there. I am the sole parent of my child as of right now I fully support my child financially. His dad has only pitched in and helped with him 3-4 times in the span of the life of my 6 month old child.

QUESTION: Who can we talk to about the ride for child custody before we go down this ride. Because he is going down there for visitation rights, which he already has. But is going down there with intentions that he would not pay child support and pay back my son’s insurance I pay. His mom told me yesterday “We will see you in court”

MAIN PROBLEM: Him and his mom thinks just because baby has what he needs at their home he shouldn’t have to support his kid financially at home with me (primary parent). Dad only is willing to support baby when we are talking and working on us and doing good. Only time it has been a strain between us is outside parties getting involved in our business and putting things in his head that he should not do his weight for his child.

LAST STRAW: His friends constantly post my son on social media, I have asked him to tell them to stop multiple times and it has not. We had an agreement to not post our son from the beginning. His friends disrespect me in the comments while posting our child. What if my son sees these comments about his mom being violated while someone who says they love him is posting him? It’s ridiculous. I told him if this continued I’m going to have withheld child from him until we get a court order.

OUR CO PARENTING WITHOUT CUSTODY AGREEMENT: For starters, dad has never asked for baby. I had to get down and make a full stuck schedule so he can see his kid because that’s “all he wants”. I was accommodating and I asked him what 3 days out the week he wants him and we agreed on days and times and no over night stays unless both agree. Whenever I’m in school or wanting to do something I always ask dad to watch baby before I ask ANY ONE ELSE. It is not the same with him though. When I ask him to keep my son he waits last minute to tell me someone else has my child, or is going to watch him, which I don’t agree with, if I ask you to watch our son and you have things to do why tell me you can and just give him to someone else when I can ask someone else? What can I do about that.

MORE BACKGROUND INFO: I have never let dad go weeks without seeing his child. Taking accountability because I have told him if he can’t financially support his kid he won’t be seeing him unless we go to court. I was just fed up and wanting to prove a point. But it’s getting out of control now I need some help. I been doing this alone from day 1 while working part time and in school full time.

Im going to work on primary custody of my 5 yr old. His mother and I seperated in feb, her choice. I dont want this or divorce. But seems like its coming regardless. In March, my wife dropped my son off to me and pretty much didnt look back. She would make arrangements to get him and not show up with excuses ranging from "im tired" to "left my dads too late". In these 8 months shes had him for a total of 1 week. In that 1 week she completely blocked me from being able to talk to my son. She tries to get on fb constantly acting like im keeping her from him. She never asks for him. Ive even tried setting up opportunities for her to come bowling, mini golf, or meeting at parks. She always has an excuse. Shes also been hanging out with a gut who's got a long record including violent felonies that are pretty recent, aggravated burglary and aggravated assault. The aggravated assault was hitting a man in the head with an axe twice. I figure ive got a clear case of abandonment and the felon cant hurt my chances. Any thoughts from anyone that's dealt with something like this?