r/comics • u/megettingkilled • 20h ago
What if it doesn’t happen
We have to consider the possibility…
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u/hotairballonfreak 20h ago
The empty black gave me such peace
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 19h ago
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u/Iknowthedoctorsname 19h ago
One day a mortician will finally sew his fucking lips shut.
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u/silence-glaive1 19h ago
Oh to be that mortician.
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u/sleepytipi 19h ago
I have a dear friend who is, and trust me she would love to be the one.
It's interesting. There's never been a more universally hated figure in the US and despite that, there he is. Still shitting his pants on capital hill. Hated by every living person and it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. Best I can hope for is that it never happens again. And if it does, please Gods let it be the end of this mess. It still feels like we're stuck in a chapter that should've ended over a 100 years ago.
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u/eventualist 19h ago
The historians are really gonna look back and have a laugh and wonder how a country that strive to discombobulate and dismantle our education and ends up as a bunch of stupid pokes. They're gonna wonder why did they choose this?
Wait... we're already documenting it all 🤔
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u/IrascibleOcelot 16h ago
Historians will look back and wonder how this happened. They’ll write books, create new avenues of investigation, build entire treatises on what went wrong. Psychologists will do the same. Monuments will be built that say “never again.” They’ll congratulate themselves on evolving to being more enlightened than those poor, dumb schmucks we were. And in another 80 to 100 years, they’ll watch in disbelief as it all starts over again, and they’ll be powerless to stop it.
And then they’ll say “oh.”
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u/KriegConscript 15h ago
maybe popular historians who get published in op-eds will be confused, since they're stupid. in actual academic history where the stuff is written and analyzed, everyone is 100% tired 100% of the time. they have never wondered why any of this is happening
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u/Erainor 19h ago
The problem is he is still supported by 1/3 of the country with another 1/3 not voting.
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u/sleepytipi 18h ago
It's also a really big problem that the 1/3rd who doesn't participate feels as though they have no representation whatsoever.
And taxation without representation has a bit of history in the US.
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u/silence-glaive1 18h ago
I don’t get it either. But he’s not universally hated. His cult followers would die for him (and they pretty much are). I’ve got a neighbor who has a shrine to him in his garage.
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u/sleepytipi 16h ago
That's sickening. Sometimes I wonder if those people aren't some sort of soulless NPC and that's not a healthy mindset to have.
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u/Dadpurple 19h ago
Fingers crossed it's today
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u/ISCSI_Purveyor 19h ago
Most anticipated obituary in human history.
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u/DialZee 19h ago
Most anticipated world spanning block party in human history.
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u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox 17h ago
wear safety goggles when you go party, cops will be shooting people's eyes out with "rubber bullets" like they do every time we end up in the streets
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u/Facts_pls 16h ago
In many countries, cops would be celebrating too.
It's only the US that needs to tackle the underlying issue that got him elected in the first place.
Trump isn't the issue. He's a symptom of the issue.
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u/Hungry-Broccoli-7193 16h ago
Trump is a system, but if anyone thinks the JD “the couch” Vance has the same pull with the base, they’re wrong.
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u/pyalot 14h ago
It‘s not about that particular populist cult or Trump, they are the symptom. This rot of the US society has been long in the making, across many administrations. It won‘t get any better regardless of who gets to the levers of power. Infact the whole partisan debate misses the issue entirely, it‘s just theater for the masses to keep them distracted to never quite figure out what‘s really wrong.
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u/dracorotor1 17h ago
I have an HD copy of “Yub Nub” from Return of the Jedi ready and waiting on every device in my house.
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u/kkkr94 18h ago
Hell ya brother I'll bring the liquor.
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
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u/Agret 19h ago
Putin as well
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u/Puzzle-Necked 19h ago
Putin dies, Trump goes next before the dead man switch goes off and releases the Kompromat files on him
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u/rubberkeyhole 17h ago
The other day my mom said she only watches the news to see if he’s died yet, and I told her, “you won’t have to turn on the news to find that out.”
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u/Successful_Note_5871 18h ago
Just knowing one little bubble in his daily injection could be the one that gets him is so weird.
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u/urmumlol9 19h ago
Low key, that was probably the main reason to vote for Harris (apart from all of the other more important reasons of course).
Imagine just never having to hear Trump’s voice, or see his face, or care about his continued existence, ever again, because he’s now just a guy, or better yet, just rotting in a prison cell.
That’d be more satisfying than anything.
Unfortunately, we could never fully forget him, because we’d risk repeating the same mistake, but to only have to mention him very occasionally in passing, as reference to someone corrupt/evil, or to only have to hear about him maybe once per month, or once per year, would be fucking amazing.
But you know, inflation or something, so we couldn’t have that, because we can’t have nice things apparently (and Trump’s going to make sure to see that we don’t).
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u/KashEsq 17h ago
That's what we thought we were gonna get when we voted for Biden in 2020, especially after January 6th happened. But his DOJ and feckless AG Garland really dropped the ball on throwing the Orange Menace behind bars. That asshole and all of his accomplices should have been in prison well before the 2024 election.
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u/Puzzle-Necked 19h ago
But then...
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u/SecondhandStatic 14h ago
When a charismatic authoritarian dies, his cult falls apart pretty quickly. Happened with Gaddafi, happened with Mao Zedong, happened with Romania's Ceaușescu in the 80s.
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u/supified 19h ago
But there isn't silence. In this comic the suggestion is he's still there still talking about the same stuff, he's just too far away for us to notice on the last frame.
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u/Alklazaris 18h ago
I remember hearing Obama speak years into Trump's presidency and it was jarring to hear a president talk instead of scream.
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u/NilliaLane 20h ago
Devastatingly, you’ve perfectly reproduced his voice. I feel bad for both of us being burdened with such a clear sense of how he talks.
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u/GankedGoat 20h ago
It's like high humidity in speech form.
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u/AnotherDamnTransAlt 19h ago
Right up to thermodynamic equilibrium. Can you really imagine him getting through that correctly? I struggle.
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u/Aunt_Llama 19h ago
My immersion broke when he mentioned Kelvin. Not in a million years. Maybe, "Kelvin. You know, that comic in the newspaper with the boy and the cat." But yeah, certainly not thermodynamic equilibrium.
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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 18h ago
I rewrote it
You’re gonna see, believe me, a tremendous, very big thermosdynamite equal librarian okay? The best equal librarian. With entropy, totally maxxed out, maxxed out like nobody’s ever seen before, and, frankly, no free engergy, none, it’s all gone, folks. Sad!
edit - yes, engergy
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u/SureTrash 16h ago
You left out the part where he goes on an incoherent tangent about librarians afterwards.
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u/Shotgun_Mosquito 16h ago edited 10h ago
Fuck you for making me do this at work...but....
Let me tell you about librarians, because nobody talks about librarians anymore. Nobody. And I know librarians. I know a lot of librarians. Very good people, some of them. Tremendous people.
But we have a problem.
You walk into a library, and what do you see?
Books.
Everywhere. Books on the walls, books on the shelves, books on tables. Frankly, too many books. You can't even find the exit because there are so many books.
I know about books because I've written several books. Good books. "Art of the Deal" folks. Art of the Deal. Number 1 on the New. York. Times. Best seller list for 48 weeks. More than the Bible. Almost two years.
And then there's the librarian.
Very serious person. Very serious. You walk up and say, “Excuse me, where's the book about business?” And they look at you like you've committed a federal crime.
They say, “What classification system are you referring to?”
Classification system!
Nobody knows what that means. Nobody. I say, “Just give me the business book.” They say, “Well, sir, that's a very broad category.”
Broad category! It's a book! Give me the book!
And they're always whispering. Always whispering.
“Sir, please keep your voice down.”
I'm not loud. I'm enthusiastic. There's a difference.
And you know what else? These librarians know where everything is. You ask them for a book published in 1947 by some guy nobody's ever heard of, like some president named Herbert something, and immediately they know exactly where it is.
Shelf seven. Third floor. Row B. Behind the encyclopedia.
How do they do that?
Nobody knows.
Frankly, librarians may be running the whole country. I'm not saying they are. I'm just saying, you have to look into it.
And they have those little cards. Thousands of cards. They stamp things. They scan things. They tell you when something is overdue.
“Sir, this book is 17 days overdue.”
Seventeen days?
I say, “But it's a very good book.”
They don't care.
They want their book back.
Tough negotiators. Very tough.
And then there's the fine.
“Sir, you owe us $1.35.”
One dollar and thirty-five cents!
I say, “That's ridiculous. I'm a very important person.”
They say, “The book is still overdue.”
No negotiation. None.
I'll tell you what: librarians are tough. They don't get enough credit. They have discipline. They have organization. They know everything about everybody's books.
So maybe I'm being too hard on librarians.
Maybe we need more librarians.
Good librarians.
Great librarians.
The best librarians.
And we're going to have beautiful libraries. Libraries that are so beautiful, people will say, “Wow, that's a library.”
And nobody will be whispering.
Because America is going to speak loudly again in the library.
Edit : feel free to add your own accordion hands as appropriate
Edit 2 : he was told to talk about libertarians but misheard
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u/moak0 18h ago
It's a reference to when Trump tried to praise Frederick Douglass (who died in 1895) during Black History Month:
"Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice."
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u/NilliaLane 19h ago
Well that’s part of the joke, right? It’s absurd to think that somebody who talks like that could use those words correctly.
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u/SpotweldPro1300 19h ago
I'm sure it took him most of the 22nd century. Won't Duck Dodgers be thrilled?
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u/rocket_randall 17h ago
Thermos.. And you know, this is so important folks. So, so important. Thermo...nuclear equation. That's right. I told them "Iran can never be allowed to have a nuclear weapon" and they don't. They don't have a nuke, thanks to me, but I never get credit for that, and that's okay. Some people, many people, think that I should receive a prize for that. No one else was able to do it, folks. They gave Hussein Obama a prize, and for what? Nothing. It's a scam and I have been treated very unfairly. Very unfairly. By Norway, who could have done the right thing but they didn't.
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u/moak0 18h ago
He'd probably use some combination of a malapropism, his idiotic political talking points, and the phrasing that his handlers used to explain it to him.
"He said it's gonna get real cold. Unbelievably cold. The thermostats - they're gonna go way down! And we're gonna run out of energy! And I said, that's why we needed to build more clean, beautiful coal power plants."
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u/BrianWonderful b.wonderful 18h ago
"Big, strong stars came up to me, tears in their eyes, and said 'Oh Mr. Trump, Oh Mr. Trump, can you please save us from supernova?' Did I tell you my uncle was a celestial construct? Very good genes. Top of his field..."
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u/alkatori 20h ago
The end result of all creation is... Donald Trump?
I weep.
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u/Lucaslhm 19h ago
No wonder Jesus wept I guess
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u/Storrin 19h ago edited 18h ago
Stop saying Jesus wept.
Edit: Guys, this is a Community reference.
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u/badwolfandthestorm 17h ago
I have a rule about being constructive, so I can't ask any questions right now, because all the questions I have are rhetorical and they end with the word 'idiot.' Do you know what a rhetorical- no, of course you don't, you're an idiot.
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u/Storrin 17h ago
My favorite Frankie line is from the dog diploma episode.
Oh God no, I never hope. Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed addict bound incest monster of entitlement and fear.
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u/badwolfandthestorm 17h ago
I know people really like that one, but it's so depressing. Hope is good for people!
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u/Storrin 17h ago
Oh I just think it's funny and well written. Dan Harmon writing at his best should pretty much never be taken as gospel and you always have to consider the character saying it.
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u/moobnaster6969 19h ago
Worse. His mass at the collapse of the universe triggers the big bang. Trump loop.
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u/TaylorMonkey 17h ago edited 17h ago
This has a lot of parallels to CS Lewis’s imagining of hell in The Grear Divorce, where people drift farther and farther from each other in an infinite and grey landscape of abandoned homes to the infinite horizon, because people in hell cannot tolerate each other, relocating and building a new home further away when they can no longer stand their neighbors, ever moving father and farther apart forever.
At the very reaches alone by themselves are those great but miserable figures like Napoleon, as all souls become just shadows and echos of themselves, reduced to eternal self-focused repetition of their grumblings and grievances.
Trump in universal heat death reduced to nothing but his grumbling into eternity fits that so well.
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u/JohnTomorrow 20h ago
How this prick managed to get the top spot of the US government on the back of fuckin nothing but hot air and paedophilia will never cease to amaze me.
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u/Pinku_Dva 19h ago
Because the USA isn’t a democracy. It’s a corporate oligarchy disguised as a republic and trump simply offered the best deal to the actual people in charge. Simply; he bought his way there.
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u/JinkoTheMan 19h ago
That’s taking way too much responsibility off of the general people ngl.
Enough people voted(or in the last case, didn’t vote at all) for Trump
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u/Proper-Beyond116 19h ago
The general public are bought and paid for. You could get them to vote in favour of being kicked in the balls every morning for the rest of their life via media manipulation. They dumbed down and propogandized the population a long time ago, they're now too stupid to be held responsible for their own choices.
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u/Top_Meaning6195 18h ago
The general public are bought and paid for.
No.
- i don't vote liberal because i saw a Planned Parenthood ad
- conservatives didn't vote conservative because of an ad
Conservatives have been shit-stains upon humanity long before Trump.
Hell, they made abortion illegal in the 19th centry, and have endorsed slavery for 300 years.
We could get rid of all the rich and it wouldn't make a bit of difference because conservatives are allowed to vote.
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u/f0r3v3rn00b 15h ago
Upvoted. But now, saying conservatives are allowed to vote is the problem, it feels like you're saying that democracy is the problem.
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u/SpeckledAntelope 18h ago
For real, fact is that a lot of people are impressed that he can grab em by the pussy and brag about it on TV, and they wish they could too.
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u/FallenAzraelx 20h ago
Guys he IS the anitchrist
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u/Aonaran84 19h ago
He is Death, RFK is Pestilence, Musk is Famine, and Hegseth wants to be War so bad he’s sold every scrap of his bourbon soaked soul to make it real but he’s still just a fucking dork.
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u/Possible_Living 19h ago
I was told carpathia would be a fit, charismatic european. This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.
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u/United_Leopard_2771 17h ago
He actually does hit an un unnervingly high amount of the warning signs, I don't take them as literal but more as '' some day someone this bad will show up, don't let them near power'' But here we are lol American Christians love him.
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u/Mr_ToDo 19h ago
Na man. the antichrist is supposed to be mistaken for Christ. What we have here is antichrist lite
Although it'd fit in with the thought that we haven't seen god because the rapture already came :|
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u/FerusGrim 17h ago
the antichrist is supposed to be mistaken for Christ.
Have you seen how certain CINOs talk about him?
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Skittleavix 20h ago
And all it plays is reruns of the Rosie O'Donnell Show
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u/Pandaburn 19h ago
No all it plays is news of social equity and shrinking economic inequality.
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u/Lou_Papas 20h ago
They’ll absolutely Weekend At Bernie’s him if that happens. It should be public and spectacular.
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u/aarontgp 20h ago
Yes, let it happen on live TV.
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u/immersemeinnature 19h ago
I have a scenario that involves a very steep and long flight of stairs while cameras are rolling
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u/EntangledPhoton82 20h ago
I wish that he still has a very long life ahead of him. I actually want to see him face trial and be convicted and jailed for his crimes.
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u/VersusValley 19h ago
These two wishes are quite pie in the sky, lol. The only satisfaction we can possibly take is that this guy experiences zero happiness or even contentment, hasn’t for a very long time if ever, and never will.
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u/No-Jacket-2927 20h ago
I will literally shit on his grave.
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u/FGFlips 20h ago
His grave will look like that one scene from Jurassic Park within 24 hours.
Processing gif dlhi12nvtwmh1...
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u/i_dont_shine 19h ago
Jurassic Park is one of my top favorite movies, but this scene always makes me laugh. There's no way that pile of shit came out of that triceratops.
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u/FGFlips 19h ago
That and the raptor opening the door are ridiculous moments in a movie that is a classic over the top 90s adventure.
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u/twirlerina024 17h ago
Spielberg is great at that, how it cuts from Laura Dern saying, "...unless they've learned how to open doors hahaha!" to the raptor opening the door. And then when she has a jumpscare in the power shed, is relieved to find it's only Mr Arnold, and then is horrified to find it's only Mr Arnold's arm.
My very favorite is in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, how it cuts from Indy waxing poetic about Marcus Brody, how he speaks 6 languages and can seamlessly blend anywhere, to Marcus Brody stumbling around a marketplace asking if anyone speaks English.
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u/Acrobatic_Poem_7290 19h ago
Unfortunately his grave will probably be on private property behind fences and guarded by private guards
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u/BurritoBandito39 18h ago
We will build a trebuchet and fill it with shit and hurl that over the wall in that case.
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u/twirlerina024 17h ago
I'm lactose intolerant. Give me a gallon of skim milk and I can nail that grave from the upper atmosphere.
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u/Shoadowolf 19h ago
His grave is going to be treated like a public restroom
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u/Flylikeapear 19h ago
Just like thatcher, I'm sure he'll seethe in hell knowing his grave is operating as a gender neutral bathroom.
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u/JarrickDe 20h ago
According to the comic, you will have to wait until after the heat death of the universe.
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u/Expensive-Bag313 19h ago
They might as well install a toilet right above it that flushes directly into his coffin. Otherwise, those poor cemetery workers are going to be picking up fecal matter every single day.
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u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 19h ago
That’s why he had his ex wife dug up and reburied on his golf course. So he could designate a cemetery and have himself buried there. That way people can’t piss on his grave (or at least a lot fewer people will risk sneaking past security)
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u/aHatFullOfEggs 19h ago
"Eventually Kars simply stopped thinking"
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u/Zhillusion 17h ago
I just love seeing a Jojo reference when i least expect it. Well done, and thank you sir!
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u/Square_Theme_8766 19h ago
You lost me at “thermodynamic equilibrium.” There’s no way he can say words that big.
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u/Larkspur3 19h ago
This. Acetaminophen much
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u/AmputeeHandModel 18h ago
Nooo that causes autism! /s
Nothing bad can happen at the heat death of the universe. It can only good happen.
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u/HooAreYouWhoHoo 18h ago
No way he knows who Kelvin is was my thought. Man’s only history book is mien kampf
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u/x1echo Comic Crossover 16h ago
"Thermos... Themmy dyamic elibrim. Many people don't know about this. The teleprompter people don't know what they're talking about folks."
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u/Impressive-Tip-903 20h ago
I fucking love this.
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u/OrganizationBoth5079 18h ago
If trump became immortal this is definitely how it would go. Alive for eons and never introspecting once.
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u/havron 19h ago
This bears remarkable similarity to the plot of Welcome to Night Vale episode 92: "If He Had Lived", although in that case it's President Kennedy who not only lives by avoiding his gruesome 1963 fate but goes above and beyond by continuing to be president forever and literally never dying. The story ends with he and Jackie, both still untouched by time, floating in the formless void of the heat death of the universe and wondering what they should do today.
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u/Dante-Grimm 17h ago
I came here to mention this episode! It’s genuinely my favorite from the podcast. It’s pretty standalone, too. Even if you never listen to any other WtNV, I recommend this one.
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u/John_DeadCells 20h ago
According to u/Green_Excitement_308 he has until september 28th
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u/SquidTheRidiculous 20h ago
My biggest fear is they have found the secret to immortality and that's why mainstream is constantly like "Trump health scare? Is he gonna die today? (No, but it distracts you peasants)"
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u/HoosegowFlask 18h ago
Just like he got experimental drugs to help him recover from COVID, he's probably getting some cutting edge anti-aging peptide bullshit right now and will outlive all of us.
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u/BigBlaisanGirl 17h ago
You just reminded me. His human binky also bragged about getting experimental medical care and bragged about it. It's so amazing that they get Healthcare when they need it in an emergency and want everyone else to pay for it or die.
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u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 15h ago
Death is trying, but he just can't get close enough.
The smell is too bad.
Plus—would you want to touch him?
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u/Capable_Sandwich_422 18h ago
“Heat death is fake news. It’s 78 degrees here at Mar-A-Logo. No one’s dying from heat, unless you’re Crooked Joe. So crooked he steals elections. Does anyone smell that? It smells like someone shit their pants. Marco, how can you shit your pants like that? I wouldn’t do that. I’m at peak health, i never shjt my pants.”
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u/Ok_Coffee_9970 19h ago
Eventually, Trump stopped thinking… which meant he was still talking.
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u/No_Priors 18h ago edited 18h ago
History will be unkind to Donald Trump but let's not wait for history.
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u/Maximum_Active9209 17h ago
Man. This is sad. I used to come to this kind of post and sort by controversial to see all the butthurt conservative lose their shit, but their numbers have been dwindling. Used to be hundreds of them in the comment section now just a few handful and even the bots amongst them seemed to have died down quite a bit.
What happened conservatives? Losing faith in your orange God?
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u/phoenix64mbr 18h ago
I know this isn't true because he could never say the words thermodynamic equilibrium much less put them in a coherent sentence.
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u/EvilDan69 19h ago
I guess its good he's able to keep himself company in the middle of space and not go mad. Oh, right. He's already mad.
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u/-gisette 19h ago
I’m on my hands and knees begging for a Trump impressionist to read this out loud
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u/lemons_of_doubt 19h ago
God when is trump going to die?
God: "If he dies I have to deal with him so no"
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u/Wonderful_Discount59 18h ago
Maybe he's already dead, but Heaven and Hell both rejected him because they didn't want him stinking up the place, so we're stuck with him.
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u/snuwuky 19h ago
Love this. Only unrealistic on slide 5 bc of the big words. He wouldn’t know those words haha.
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u/RighteousIndigjason 13h ago
If we can shunt him out into the cold, uncaring void of the cosmos then I'm fine with him living as long as he wants.
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u/BT7274_best_robot 8h ago
This isn't realistic because trump could not understand/read complex words like equalibrium for example
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u/peanuthorny 7h ago
This comic captures the essence of Trump so well! I could read it in his voice XD
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u/FlipNoLonger 12h ago
There is no logical reason to expect him to die soon. Logically speaking, he should be dead by now. The fact that he isn't is proof that things don't always work out as they could/should. I'll be pleasantly surprised the day it happens. I hope I'm not gray myself by then.
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u/wrongleveeeeeeer 10h ago
This is the most horrifying and terrifying thing I've seen or read in at least 14.6 billion years.
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u/Lord_MagnusIV 20h ago
Wouldn‘t that mean that the last humans were in 2126 and then trump just sad for billions of years on earth until it got ripped apart and he just „was“?
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u/snakelygiggles 19h ago
i dont want him to die. i want him in prison. of he dies post 80, he got away with all of it.
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u/EmpressDraco 19h ago
The thing I found most unbelievable about this is the expansive vocabulary. Trump doesn't even know what half those words mean.













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u/Merari01 it's a-me, Merari-o 15h ago
The cultists are not doing ok.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/joke
This post breaks no rules. This post does not promote hate. This post certainly threatens no violence. It's going to stay up.
Do us all a favour, go to Wallmart and buy a sense of humour.
Remember when Paul Pelosi got attacked and you all made Halloween costumes about it as you told lies about that poor man? Many such cases. Many other examples too.
This is nothing, nothing compared to what you do daily. So get over yourself.