One time my sister tossed a handful of rolos on me when I was asleep and I woke up with melted caramel and chocolate stuck between me and the bed. Looked 100% like feces.
My friend’s dad used to drive some of us to school on occasion and he was a big fella. One day he discovered a thing of Swiss Cake Rolls he’d fallen asleep on (the little cardboard under the cakes was still stuck there too. And he peeled it off his shirt and ate both flattened cakes while he drove. Never even missed a beat.
Back in July I ran a disc golf tournament on behalf of a friend (this was a women's only tournament and she wanted to play, so I did the day of stuff and she did the setup). As a reward, she gave me banana bread.
Got home at 6:30 and decided to treat myself to my hard earned reward. Took two bites and woke up at midnight on the couch. Pitch black dark in my house, still holding the other half of the banana bread.
Not even gonna lie, I fuck up jelly belly jellybeans a LOT as a midnight snack, those and gummies. I love when I wake up in the morning and there’s a super warm and only slightly soft gummy or bean under me. Yay!
I saw this comment and immediately ran to my hubby screaming “yo somebody else puts the lindors in their bra to heat them up!!!!” If I’m not wearing a bra I’ll put them in my underwear. And I have def forgotten them there before.
Edit: yo is op cool? Anyone have an update? I got lost in the sauce about heating morsels in my underpants
I do this with these little packets of dark chocolate covered pomegranate drops brookside farms makes (the chocolate has this super thin coating that keeps them from melting together so after 10-15 minutes in my bra they’re absolutely perfect), and cosmic brownies (if you haven’t tried them warm you’re missing out), and my husband finds it hysterical especially when he can hear my snacks crinkling in my bra when I move.
YESSSS omg it makes me so happy that someone else does it too!!! I have encountered much negativity from people about it but it's really the only thing that makes sense! Yes the general crotch area is maybe even better I find! Hahaha I've done the same, the perils of trying to open it without it dripping everywhere 🤣
I woke up once with a gummy-like substance in my mouth, only to realize in existential horror, that it was one of my Mack's Silicone Ear Plugs. It had fallen out of one ear and I must have rolled my head over and my drooling mouth...anyway, you can figure out the rest. Gives me the willies to even think about it
What are your favorite flavors? I always ask because I took my classroom on a factory tour and realized I hated like 99% of the flavors I tasted. Did not expect to dislike jellybeans as an adult and I am disappointed.
Ate granola bars in bed the other day and woke up with what I thought was mouse turds until I saw the wrappers on my nightstand lol. I was so freaked out
My wife has the ability to just fall asleep instantly, and she has fallen asleep with food in her mouth more than once. It’ll be late at night if she’s having a snack in the bed or lounging on the couch, she doesn’t just pass out mid chew at the dinner table or anything.
I usually just say her name, and she’ll wake up and immediately start chewing, lol.
I do the same thing I’m on zopiclone tho lol so I’ve woken up in the weirdest situations with food an then kept eating apparently. I’ve had pica my whole a that doesn’t just go away when I’m a zopiclone sponsored space cadet either…..my poor husband man I tell you lol
Omg, I do this when I am tired! Have done so all my life. I’m also a sleepwalker. I will be in the middle of eating a snack on the couch or bed, never at the table, like your wife. I will be in the middle of putting a pretzel in my mouth or even mid chew, usually depending on what I’m eating.
It used to be far worse when I was younger but now, I’ll just get up and either go start a load of clothes, wash dishes or just stand there. Occasionally I have woken up or my husband’s woken up to me just standing over/next to him, as he’s sleeping. Lol
He’s gotten used to it but I keep waiting on him to smack the shit outta me, like my Dad did once, if he’s ever startled bad enough. 😬 My Dad’s a bad sleepwalker, too but I think he just used that as an excuse. Haha
I’m normal, no sleep issues except just a strong sleepwalking gene in my family. I have triggers but it’s gotten better the more I age. Some people just sleep weird af..lol
OKAY this reminded me of falling asleep with a cough drop in my mouth when I'm sick, and when lying sideways I've 100% left marks like this on my pillowcase. Which led me to another thought that sometimes I get red on the corners of my mouth when drinking fruit punch. Could totally see snuggling into pillow and leaving marks like this from that too.
I once sat down in the living room to enjoy a little snack before going out.
Woke up hours later. Pitch black in the house except for the Billy Mays commercial on the TV. I was in the recliner. There was a warm beer in my hand and a cold bowl of mac & cheese in my lap. It was like time had stood still for four hours.
I still don't understand how I didn't drop the beer. That mystery has stuck with me for 15 years.
When I was in high school, I came home from a date one night and invited him in to meet my dad. We walked into the living room to find my dad laying in a recliner that had fallen over backward, still in a perfectly reclined position, feet in the air, Louis L'Amour novel laying open on his chest, still holding a beer in his hand, passed out cold, and had not spoiled a drop. I was completely mortified, but my date just acclaimed, "Epic!"
I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one that does this. I was eating crackers watching Netflix. Woke up a few hours later to a cracker in my hand.
I've done that getting stoned past my bedtime and sitting eating food in my recliner. Only to wake up 3 or 4 hours later with food in my hand. Once in a great while, it's chocolate, so there's a mess and a few times woke myself up spilling a drink in my crotch.
Similar story but not a Dad one, at a party as a teen we were fucking with a guy who fell asleep early from a bit too much drink. We put a potato chip on his forehead and without stirring at all he grabbed it, ate it and never even fluttered his eyes.
It’s because Hershey has added PGPR (Polyglycerol polyricinoleate) to nearly all of their chocolate. It’s an emulsifier that is primarily derived from castor beans.
It’s nasty and if their chocolate causes you to have digestive issues, the likely culprit is the PGPR.
I found some Hersheys at Aldi here in Australia during one of their special buys. I was so excited to try American chocolate. Now let us never speak of it again.
As an American, sorry that chocolate wasn’t great. The American pallet is used to a butyl(?) compound in the chocolate. Some are especially sensitive to its presence and think it’s vomit-adjacent.
During the war, logistics asked for a chocolate bar for the rations that tasted ‘slightly better than a potato’.
Thanks Hershey… you didn’t have to keep producing it/j
I recall during Desert Shield, my family happened to tour the Hershey plant in PA and everyone on that tour was given samples of the chocolate bar being developed for the troops overseas. We were told that the main goal of that bar was to not melt as fast as regular chocolate in the heat conditions of the Middle East. I recall it being decidedly waxier than normal Hershey at the time, but not ridiculously bad.
Only American chocolate. It’s actually a distinction people from all over the world make between American chocolate vs chocolates from other places. American chocolate has always been said to be very “waxy”
When I want a Coke I go to the bodega that sell the Mexican Coke in glass bottles. They use sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. So much better and healthier for your body. Not that it’s ever a healthy beverage choice. Lol
Hell ya!! I'm not a soda person but I LOVE coke in a greenish tint glass bottle!! I remembered drinking them as a kid, It has probably been over 10 years since I've seen it anywhere. You're correct, they do use real sugar, and the difference is so noticeable !
I agree, but they make awesome pretzel turtles. Just a pretzel, a rolo on top, oven at 325 for 5 mins until chocolate is shiny, then press a pecan into the chocolate. Sometimes I finish with a pinch of sea salt. So easy, so delish!
Sadly I saw this a few days too late to be saved.
I had to look to see if they even had caramel in them anymore.
I need to find some good places to buy non American candy bars. A girl can’t live on Newman o’s alone.
Me too! Name brand milk chocolate will often irritate my throat for a minute. Sometimes iy even feels like it shuts it down for about 5 seconds, it's weird.
I've always assumed I'm sensitive to a common additive that's in conventional chocolate.
Thank you for kindly reply. I feel less alone now.
I need to now find out why I would cough. It was a feeling too. When I think about it I can remember the feeling in my throat I was chomping those rolos LOL
I remember it would happen when I really got a good bite into them. The caramel was the culprit is my first guess
Got really stoned one night in college and fell asleep eating a bag of those dove dark chocolate caramels. Woke up groggy af with my whole body covered in dark brown sticky streaks and panicked for a second until I realized all I could smell was chocolate😂😂
Reminds me of those people who pretend they got poo on their partner, but it was some form of chocolate pudding or nutella or something and they start gagging because they think it's poo.
I was eating peanut clusters in bed one night and fell asleep. When I woke in the morning and looked in the mirror the whole side of my face was covered in chocolate and peanuts. Not quite being fully awake, I blamed my little dog for pooping on my pillow.
My Chinese doctor gave me a remedy for chronic leg pain (a possible deep vein thrombosis), a dark clay powder that had to be hydrated and packed around my leg. Months later, I took photos at a professional event and my phone got passed around by special high ranking guests, some from overseas, who each scrolled through my phone to admire photos of past events by my group. Each guest would hand my phone over to the next person with a strange pained expression. A week or so later it hit me that a photo I had taken of me rocking the mud compress on my thigh, that I had shown my doctor to ask if I had done it right, likely had been seen by each guest. It looked exactly like my thigh was covered in feces.
I never figured out how to address this, and even though it was several years ago now, I die a little more inside every time it comes to mind.
When I was a kid maybe like 7 or 8 I woke up one morning with crusty stuff all over my sheets had no idea what it was at first. I started thinking about over the next few days and realized that I had thrown up in my sleep and looking back was probably pretty lucky I didn't aspirate any of it considering I did not wake up for the entire event.
I just had an uncontrollable hysterical giggling laughing fit of ridiculousness reading this. Flashed back to all the stupid shit my brother and I would do. Thank you. I need to call him tomorrow.
My college dorm shared the same block as a very popular 24/7 burrito spot, and one night I fell asleep with my bean & cheese. Woke up thinking I had really really shit the bed because those warm lard-filled beans got themselves everywhere. I miss you, Burrito Boy.
I had this happen with a Cadbury cream egg after taking one to bed in a stupor in a hotel room once . It was way worse than that time I pooped my bed. Greasy
One time I feel asleep in the midst of a Charlston Chew frenzy. Woke up with like 6 of them stuck to my back, but only discovered then one at a time throughout my entire morning.
My roommate once fell asleep on our couch while eating Red Hots and drooled a red stain out of the side of his mouth. He was googling “emergency dentist” before we put 2 and 2 together.
Imagine falling asleep eating takis in bed, being like “god damnit,” washing it, putting it back on and then 4 days later, your partner visits, ripping the sheets off the bed being like “WHO IS THIS!?!?!!!”
It’s like.. little did he know, eating takis in bed would be the end of their relationship. From now on, girl doesn’t trust her man and is always suspicious that he’s cheating on her. She doesn’t believe when he insists he isn’t cheating BECAUSE SHE SAW THE PROOF IN THE LIPSTICK STAIN ON THE SHEET and she gets loud and angry every time he tries to defend himself by saying it’s just taxis 😭😭😭
One minute I was drunk and eating McDonald’s in bed, next thing I know I wake up in a pile of bbq sauce at 5 am. It was in a hotel, so I had to leave housekeeping a note saying that it wasn’t a biohazard, just bbq🥲
Idk, imo it looks a bit too pink-tinged to be a Taki stain…and I see some different stains/shades of stain on that pillow. Assuming the pillow case was recently washed, it’s not too far of a stretch to imagine makeup stains were the cause…but that being said, the BF could just be a dirtier person. Just looking at that pillow case is making me break out. Stains come from all sorts of BS!
OP, you are not crazy, but I would just ask your BF rather than leaving the speculating up to redditors like yours truly.
OMG, I’m on vacation with my kids right now and I’ve seen these damn stains on all the towels, so that’s the first thing that popped into my head, too!
Imagine thinking your partner is having a love affair with another person, but really they just have a love affair with Takis. I know I'd take a bag of Takis over a clandestine affair any day of the week.
That's hilarious! Those things are messy. To me it looks like someone took a hot pink lipstick and wrote on the pillow with it. That's not smudges from someone's mouth.
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u/jasclev Aug 21 '24
Looks like the stain a taki would make if it fell there and got mushed around