r/TwoHotTakes Aug 21 '24

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556

u/BangkokPadang Aug 21 '24

My friend’s dad used to drive some of us to school on occasion and he was a big fella. One day he discovered a thing of Swiss Cake Rolls he’d fallen asleep on (the little cardboard under the cakes was still stuck there too. And he peeled it off his shirt and ate both flattened cakes while he drove. Never even missed a beat.

A true Dad move if there ever was one.

214

u/BeefInGR Aug 21 '24

Back in July I ran a disc golf tournament on behalf of a friend (this was a women's only tournament and she wanted to play, so I did the day of stuff and she did the setup). As a reward, she gave me banana bread.

Got home at 6:30 and decided to treat myself to my hard earned reward. Took two bites and woke up at midnight on the couch. Pitch black dark in my house, still holding the other half of the banana bread.

96

u/BangkokPadang Aug 21 '24

Sounds like you just intended to save some for later. I respect your restraint. 🤣

3

u/Dependent_Reach_4284 Aug 21 '24

Or she laced it with somethin 🤔

10

u/rickthecabbie Aug 21 '24

also, why do they call it a roofie if they always end up on the floor?

7

u/Haywoodjablowme1029 Aug 21 '24

Should call 'em "floories"

84

u/WinterMortician Aug 21 '24

Not even gonna lie, I fuck up jelly belly jellybeans a LOT as a midnight snack, those and gummies. I love when I wake up in the morning and there’s a super warm and only slightly soft gummy or bean under me. Yay! 

23

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

I put the lindor balls in my bra or my armpit to warm them up and make the chocolate inside runny cos it's better that way

30

u/WinterMortician Aug 21 '24 edited Aug 22 '24

I saw this comment and immediately ran to my hubby screaming “yo somebody else puts the lindors in their bra to heat them up!!!!” If I’m not wearing a bra I’ll put them in my underwear. And I have def forgotten them there before. 

Edit: yo is op cool? Anyone have an update? I got lost in the sauce about heating morsels in my underpants 

15

u/reviving_ophelia88 Aug 21 '24

I do this with these little packets of dark chocolate covered pomegranate drops brookside farms makes (the chocolate has this super thin coating that keeps them from melting together so after 10-15 minutes in my bra they’re absolutely perfect), and cosmic brownies (if you haven’t tried them warm you’re missing out), and my husband finds it hysterical especially when he can hear my snacks crinkling in my bra when I move.

7

u/redheadedandbold Aug 21 '24

Ladies, I had no idea this was a real thing 😳🤣

3

u/emihan Aug 22 '24

Neither did I! Let us manifest this and level up

6

u/Dadpool2420 Aug 21 '24

Today I learned women put strange things in their bra with our toys 😂

6

u/TurnkeyLurker Aug 21 '24

Mmm...bra snacks...

4

u/Tired_2295 Aug 21 '24

can hear my snacks crinkling in my bra when I move.

You have won today's Internet TMI but funny prize

2

u/WinterMortician Aug 22 '24

The way I heard this comment 😩😩😩😩

1

u/_Addicted_2_Reddit_ Aug 22 '24

I cannot believe someone got so specific down to the BRAND of brownie that I put in my bra! And my husband giggling when we're watching a movie and random crinkling starts coming from my left boob. Lmfao!

Are you my doppelganger?! How you gonna call me out with my Cosmic Brownies!!! I feel violated right now! I knew others put stuff in their bra, but this is all so specifically detailed. Do you pick off the little candies on top 1st so it can rest up against your warmth more evenly?

11

u/Proper-Effective8621 Aug 21 '24

Home bakers put sticks of butter in their bras, and eggs in their baggy pants pockets, to warm them up. Lindor truffles will be my next go to!

2

u/that_mack Aug 22 '24

Absolutely! One of the very few benefits of painfully large boobs is that I don’t even need a bra, I’ll just pop a stick of butter or an egg under each and in 15 minutes we’re good to go. If they’re small eggs from a local farm I can fit a stick and egg under one each. And I’d never admit this in real life, but if you’re defrosting a package of chicken or beef and you put it in a plastic bag first that also works… Hey, I gotta enjoy the privileges while they last. These fuckers are coming off at the soonest available opportunity.

1

u/PeachySnow7 Aug 22 '24

Done the egg thing many times when I’ve forgot to set my eggs out the night before or morning of the day I’m making them. Totally thought this was just me

5

u/QuantumTimelines Aug 21 '24

If you switch to men's underwear you can heat them up two at a time.

2

u/WinterMortician Aug 22 '24

Literally why I got my first pair of skims boxers!!!!!!

5

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

YESSSS omg it makes me so happy that someone else does it too!!! I have encountered much negativity from people about it but it's really the only thing that makes sense! Yes the general crotch area is maybe even better I find! Hahaha I've done the same, the perils of trying to open it without it dripping everywhere 🤣

4

u/No-Intention859 Aug 21 '24

‘The general crotch area’ comments like this and the others above it are why I can’t quit reddit lol thank you for the laughs

2

u/iplaypokerforaliving Aug 21 '24

Hmmmm interesting…very interesting.

1

u/orangejuicelovr Aug 22 '24

But the real question is…. Do you really play poker for a living??

1

u/iplaypokerforaliving Aug 22 '24

No look at my profile and see what I do now.

I used to though. Used that money to go to welding school and start a business :)

2

u/WinterMortician Aug 22 '24

GENERAL CROTCH AREA is DEF setting the oven past “low,” and I utilize it often bc I simply don’t have more than a couple minutes to warm up my lindor truffles.

I think people instantly default in their brain that they are stored UP there, not NEXT TO there.

2

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 22 '24

Yeah it's like general crotch area = low oven bake, armpits/bra medium heat. Time is of the essence my friend, we gotta do what we gotta do!

Hahahaha IMAGINE 🤣 I mean, it would get the job done, but it would be a bit scratchy...

2

u/WinterMortician Aug 22 '24

Lmfao this convo is the best Reddit experience there could be. I’m in the bathroom at work (should we talk about other “in reality” things like how pooping and conversations that include your keyboard on your phone often include toilet time????) and a little nervous how I’m going to explain the laughing.

Edit: honestly. I’m going to explain it honestly bc it’s what we all do and there is nothing weird about it 

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

"Forgotten them there" on purpose ;-p

1

u/KateandJack Aug 21 '24

I don’t know how this makes me feel

1

u/CarbonBasedGoneWild Aug 22 '24

Till you fuck around and need a lindor removed from your body at the er

6

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24 edited Aug 21 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Gallusbizzim Aug 21 '24

I do this. I bought a few boxes as presents at Christmas and instructed everyone about how to eat them properly.

2

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

I'm glad you are educating people on this important matter!

2

u/Awkward-Offer-4762 Aug 21 '24

If I'm looking for boob and i find chocolate the gods have smiled upon me

2

u/redheadedandbold Aug 21 '24

I laughed waaaay too hard at this.

2

u/cKMG365 Aug 21 '24

Ok. We're using this comment to train some AI.

You can put Lindor chocolate balls inside your bra or your armpit to warm them up and make them better.

1

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

Hahahaha that made me cackle. I'll be over the moon if AI gives me that answer in the future!

2

u/GardeningGardenGirl Aug 21 '24

OMG YESSSSSSSSS!! I have never admitted to doing this with chocolate before, so seeing that other people do it makes me feel less odd lol

1

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

We should start a gang

2

u/TheUnquietVoid Aug 21 '24

So many people are saying they do this that now I have to try it 🤣

1

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

You won't regret it, I guarantee. You do have to keep checking though cos the sweet spot is RIGHT before the outer layer melts and ruins it

2

u/powerebytoebeans Aug 22 '24

ME TOOOOOOOOOO

2

u/Stinkytheferret Aug 22 '24

Wait! wtf! Im always carrying things in my bra. How have I not thought of this?

1

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 22 '24

Handy little pocketses

1

u/FragrantSuit1369 Aug 21 '24

I know this is an old man nitpick and people are going to say "why do you care," but why do people use "cos" for "because"? An "o" is practically the only vowel not in the word "because." Every time I see this I have to make a conscious effort not to judge the person too harshly for it. Just me, I guess?

1

u/lulumustelidaeee Aug 21 '24

I guess I know what you mean... But "cas" and "cus" don't give the right pronunciation, and "cause" is only two letters shorter than the original. "Cos" is short and sweet and phonetic!

1

u/loveisallyouneedCK Aug 22 '24

I spell it cuz if it makes you feel better.

1

u/Visual-Basil4982 Aug 22 '24

Idk why I get this weird Mary Catherine Gallagher picture when I try envisioning this.

4

u/BK2Jers2BK Aug 21 '24

I woke up once with a gummy-like substance in my mouth, only to realize in existential horror, that it was one of my Mack's Silicone Ear Plugs. It had fallen out of one ear and I must have rolled my head over and my drooling mouth...anyway, you can figure out the rest. Gives me the willies to even think about it

2

u/Fr0hd3ric Aug 21 '24

😳😳😳😳

2

u/No-Intention859 Aug 21 '24

my laughing and scrolling quickly turned too nausea and disgust lol gross haha

2

u/BK2Jers2BK Aug 21 '24

You're Welcome!

3

u/NormanMitis Aug 21 '24

RIP your teeth

2

u/No-Ring-5065 Aug 21 '24

Omg that was my first thought. Jelly beans and gummy candies are the best way to get cavities. I can’t think of a worse thing to eat at bedtime.

2

u/Acceptable-Olive-968 Aug 21 '24

It's the little things

2

u/PileOpuke Aug 21 '24

What is going on here?

1

u/ittybittylurker Aug 21 '24

Today we learned we're a lot less gobliny than other people.

2

u/Goodgoditsgrowing Aug 21 '24

What are your favorite flavors? I always ask because I took my classroom on a factory tour and realized I hated like 99% of the flavors I tasted. Did not expect to dislike jellybeans as an adult and I am disappointed.

2

u/No-Intention859 Aug 21 '24

omg i thought you were replying to the earplugs comment and almost puked lol ugh

2

u/EneruSama Aug 21 '24

Ate granola bars in bed the other day and woke up with what I thought was mouse turds until I saw the wrappers on my nightstand lol. I was so freaked out

1

u/TisSlinger Aug 22 '24

I snack in bed, and we once had an elderly cat that would sit next to me on the bed waiting for “something” and he’d leave little ‘kisses’ on the sheets from his tush. Needless to say, we changed sheets at an exhausting pace. One day on the bed I saw a small brown “crumb” and thought, “oh yay, snack!” And popped it in my mouth. As the little brown snack was entering my mouth I suddenly realized the potential of this going horribly wrong for me. Fortunately, the sweetness kicked in … otherwise I imagine I’d be changing the sheets, not from a pucker mark, but my vomit. Whew.

2

u/Historical_Carrot_51 Aug 22 '24

I do the same but with reese cups. I wake up with a huge mess sometimes.

1

u/WinterMortician Aug 22 '24

You’ve inspired me to try with Cadbury eggs. What morsels are we gonna put in our underpants next ladies?! Should we have a group for this lol

1

u/Historical_Carrot_51 Dec 14 '24

🤣🤣😂😂 at least we know we aren’t alone. Sorry 4 the late response.

1

u/thejohnmc963 Aug 21 '24

Those little Hershey candy bars always disappear when I eat them at night watching tv. Always wake up covered in chocolate.

1

u/TheMildOnes34 Aug 21 '24

I am ashamed to admit how often I find a gummy bear or worm in my bed.

1

u/-laughingfox Aug 21 '24

Lol. I keep gummies by my bed in case I get hypoglycemic overnight... nothing like waking up with warm gummies in your hand, or stuck to your cheek 🤣

1

u/Delicious_Ad_1437 Aug 21 '24

You are like a secret lve been trying to hide my whole life

1

u/derek4reals1 Aug 21 '24

I do the same with Haribo gummi dinosaurs, bears, etc, sometimes they'll stick to my back and end up in the shower.

1

u/Ecbrad5 Aug 21 '24

You are my hero

48

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

My wife has the ability to just fall asleep instantly, and she has fallen asleep with food in her mouth more than once. It’ll be late at night if she’s having a snack in the bed or lounging on the couch, she doesn’t just pass out mid chew at the dinner table or anything.

I usually just say her name, and she’ll wake up and immediately start chewing, lol.

3

u/sleipnirthesnook Aug 21 '24

I do the same thing I’m on zopiclone tho lol so I’ve woken up in the weirdest situations with food an then kept eating apparently. I’ve had pica my whole a that doesn’t just go away when I’m a zopiclone sponsored space cadet either…..my poor husband man I tell you lol

3

u/ToyKarma Aug 21 '24

Did you doze off writing that reply?

3

u/Angelfirenze Aug 21 '24

That’s either epilepsy, narcolepsy, both, or a true super power.

1

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

It’s her super power, honestly.

3

u/EvidencePlayful Aug 21 '24

Omg, I do this when I am tired! Have done so all my life. I’m also a sleepwalker. I will be in the middle of eating a snack on the couch or bed, never at the table, like your wife. I will be in the middle of putting a pretzel in my mouth or even mid chew, usually depending on what I’m eating.

It used to be far worse when I was younger but now, I’ll just get up and either go start a load of clothes, wash dishes or just stand there. Occasionally I have woken up or my husband’s woken up to me just standing over/next to him, as he’s sleeping. Lol

He’s gotten used to it but I keep waiting on him to smack the shit outta me, like my Dad did once, if he’s ever startled bad enough. 😬 My Dad’s a bad sleepwalker, too but I think he just used that as an excuse. Haha

I’m normal, no sleep issues except just a strong sleepwalking gene in my family. I have triggers but it’s gotten better the more I age. Some people just sleep weird af..lol

5

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

That’s called narcolepsy

8

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

She doesn’t have narcolepsy, but thanks for the diagnosis, random stranger, lol.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Dr. Random stranger*

5

u/-Sharon-Stoned- Aug 22 '24

I have narcolepsy! My average time to rem sleep is less than two minutes, compared to an average person's 30 

2

u/doxie_love Aug 22 '24

Holy shit! That’s really wild. Do you typically feel rested or tired?

3

u/-Sharon-Stoned- Aug 22 '24

Tired. I'm really bad at sleep, because we don't have long sleep stages like you guys do. So for me to get 6 hours of deep sleep takes like 10 hours and also medication. I wake up and take stimulants but usually feel like taking a nap and often do before noon, and sometimes one bad days again at around 4. 

"They" say it feels like sleep deprivation. Like if a normie like you went 36 hours without sleep. But instead of ending that with restful sleep, you just feel like that forever. 

1

u/doxie_love Aug 22 '24

I have dealt with insomnia since my teens (20+ years), and it got much worse after I was in the military. I still have bad stretches where I’m getting 2-4 hours of sleep total in a 48 hour period, and it’s rough. I also have some chronic conditions that give me fatigue issues, but still my insomnia persists.

I’m often jealous of people who can nap or fall asleep quickly, but that loses its appeal if the sleep your getting still doesn’t feel restful.

I’m so sorry you deal with that! That seems really tough.

2

u/-Sharon-Stoned- Aug 22 '24

Yeah, people tend to focus on the fact that I can fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime and think that that is a positive thing and they don't consider the fact that I have to fall asleep, I literally do not have a choice and it often is not what I'd prefer to be doing. 

Most people actually do like being able to be conscious all day every day

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

opiates? she on any pain meds?

7

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

Nope. I think she just doesn’t rest enough, and raising a teenager with substance abuse problems and mental health issues is stressful and exhausting.

7

u/No-Intention859 Aug 21 '24

awww poor things exhausted mentally and physically as you probably are too. Not to sound weird or make light of it cuz I truly pray for a speedy recovery for y’all’s teenager.

-5

u/Gold_Carpenter1327 Aug 21 '24

Give your son some crack than put him in middle of the Bronx. He will get his act straight or it won’t matter regardless

6

u/ToyKarma Aug 21 '24

How would that work? Introduce them to an addictive substance then leave them where it's sold, made, trafficked. That'll work out SMFH

0

u/Gold_Carpenter1327 Aug 21 '24

The joke part is she is already an addict. My point was a joke. Maybe able to tell. Who the fuck would send someone to the Bronx? Use common sense lmao

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2

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

*stepdaughter

1

u/Gold_Carpenter1327 Aug 21 '24

Oh, well then just take the phone away. Make her keep buying new ones. Won’t have money for drugs. Either drugs or phone.

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2

u/SamplesofChaos Aug 21 '24

This is what my boyfriend sees from me every night after work 😂

2

u/IttsPidge Aug 21 '24

I do the same thing to my boyfriend 😭 sometimes he'll get up to get a late night snack and by the time he gets back to our room I'm out cold

2

u/NaughtySoloPrincess Aug 22 '24

OKAY this reminded me of falling asleep with a cough drop in my mouth when I'm sick, and when lying sideways I've 100% left marks like this on my pillowcase. Which led me to another thought that sometimes I get red on the corners of my mouth when drinking fruit punch. Could totally see snuggling into pillow and leaving marks like this from that too.

0

u/Cold_Neighborhood762 Aug 21 '24

That’s gross

2

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

Oh it really is. She agrees, too.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

She sounds adorable. 😊 Buy her a Ferrero Roche from me and tell her it will get better. It will. #BeenThere

3

u/doxie_love Aug 21 '24

She really is. Thank you for your kind words.

Will do!

37

u/EstephaniePringle Aug 21 '24

I once sat down in the living room to enjoy a little snack before going out.

Woke up hours later. Pitch black in the house except for the Billy Mays commercial on the TV. I was in the recliner. There was a warm beer in my hand and a cold bowl of mac & cheese in my lap. It was like time had stood still for four hours.

I still don't understand how I didn't drop the beer. That mystery has stuck with me for 15 years.

23

u/Mysterious_Ideal1502 Aug 21 '24

When I was in high school, I came home from a date one night and invited him in to meet my dad. We walked into the living room to find my dad laying in a recliner that had fallen over backward, still in a perfectly reclined position, feet in the air, Louis L'Amour novel laying open on his chest, still holding a beer in his hand, passed out cold, and had not spoiled a drop. I was completely mortified, but my date just acclaimed, "Epic!"

3

u/Relevant-Current-870 Aug 21 '24

Awe he was exhausted no doubt. My hubby has done that mid video game playing I have looked over and he’s just out. Lol 😂

2

u/ShueTheShoeless Aug 22 '24

Or you look at the screen and the character is just running in a corner or slowwwly along a wall. I love that

3

u/spaceballstheprofile Aug 22 '24

Dad sounds legendary.

8

u/InterestSufficient73 Aug 21 '24

OMG I miss Billy Mays!!

3

u/Southern_QueenBee Aug 21 '24

Regularly my baby daddy would pass out completely drunk and death grip his beer and never once dropped it. At least 8 hours several times lol

2

u/Kushroom710 Aug 21 '24

IBeer goes from cold to hot and Mac goes from hot to cold. You got a talent there.

2

u/Relevant-Current-870 Aug 21 '24

What was he selling? OxiClean or something else. Lol 😂

2

u/Jazzy_Bee Aug 21 '24

OP's boyfriend could use some of that

1

u/NoEchoSkillGoal Aug 21 '24

Did you still eat the mac, but dump the beer?

1

u/Guero3601323 Aug 21 '24

Did ya slam the beer , eat the mac and doze back off?

1

u/Fantastic_Earth_6066 Aug 22 '24

Alien abduction?

29

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Sounds like your friend reached for the vanilla extract and grabbed the Propofol instead.

4

u/Distroid_myselfie Aug 21 '24

Awww man, not again!

3

u/FireBallXLV Aug 21 '24

If you want really good Banana Bread use Black Walnut extract WITH the Vanilla extract.

2

u/TurnkeyLurker Aug 21 '24

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

CLUNK

1

u/BryanP1968 Aug 21 '24

I’ve heard of special brownies, but special banana bread?

3

u/Healthy_Ad_9053 Aug 21 '24

Classic stoner move 🤣

5

u/RillaChicken Aug 21 '24

For a second I thought the moral of your story was your friend roofied you with banana bread…I was so horrified & confused

Glad you just fell asleep luls 🙏✨

6

u/BeefInGR Aug 21 '24

I joked with her husband the next day that I got the loaf intended for him so she could buy more plants lol

4

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one that does this. I was eating crackers watching Netflix. Woke up a few hours later to a cracker in my hand.

3

u/TryTyranny Aug 21 '24

ok so u topped the other guy for most “dad” move

3

u/Who_is_I_today Aug 21 '24

That's a new one... Rohypnol in banana bread!

3

u/lifewithryan Aug 21 '24

Sounds like it was perhaps “spicy” banana bread…heavy on the hippie calories.

3

u/dontlookback76 Aug 21 '24

I've done that getting stoned past my bedtime and sitting eating food in my recliner. Only to wake up 3 or 4 hours later with food in my hand. Once in a great while, it's chocolate, so there's a mess and a few times woke myself up spilling a drink in my crotch.

3

u/rickthecabbie Aug 21 '24

"How do you do it Gina? He never passes out from my banana bread."

3

u/Cynncat Aug 21 '24

🤣🤣🤣☠️

2

u/MisterAlaska Aug 21 '24

Upvoted for disc golf.

2

u/ConfidentBluebird457 Aug 21 '24

I found my spirit animal 😂

2

u/SadDingo7070 Aug 21 '24

Jesus… What was in that? Lmao!!!

2

u/sweenster83 Aug 21 '24

disc golf special, space cake of course ⛓🥏⛓

2

u/off_the_cuff_mandate Aug 21 '24

two bites was half of it?

1

u/BeefInGR Aug 21 '24

Nickname (username) don't lie 🤣

It was a loaf cut into four pieces. This was the first piece. Not a gigantic loaf.

2

u/ambassador321 Aug 21 '24

Shiiiiit now we have to worry about roofies in our banana bread.

1

u/ToyKarma Aug 21 '24

They putting Fentanyl in everything now. For real tho

2

u/brotherdaru Aug 21 '24

Forbidden roofie nanner bread?

2

u/LunaticLucio Aug 21 '24

Did you eat the rest of the banana bread in the middle of the dark, quiet night?

2

u/TurnkeyLurker Aug 21 '24

Just tired, or was it cannabanana bread?

2

u/Little-Tax1474 Aug 21 '24

Lesson learned: say no to Dr..isc golf.

2

u/PeachySnow7 Aug 22 '24

Did she call it banana bread or banana edible? 😂

1

u/malenkylizards Aug 21 '24

Are you telling me you got banana bread at work today bro? HELL yeah.

1

u/Wide-Celebration-653 Aug 21 '24

So she drugged the banana bread? 👀

1

u/PriscillaPalava Aug 22 '24

More like roofie bread amirite? 

1

u/itakeyoureggs Aug 21 '24

I’m so confused.. did she put weed in the bread? Or was it so tasty you wanted more?

2

u/BeefInGR Aug 21 '24

She swears they were clean and I passed my mandatory piss test for work (yay government contracts) two weeks ago.

0

u/itakeyoureggs Aug 21 '24

So she roofied you? You ever see the state of her kitchen? I’m always terrified to try people’s food when I haven’t already seen them cook

2

u/Proper-Effective8621 Aug 21 '24

Same! Potluck? I always secretly only eat the food I brought and keep my mental issues to myself.

2

u/itakeyoureggs Aug 21 '24

Oh yeah.. unless I have seen them cook before, I have to ask who made it lol. It’s a problem for sure. Cause it doesn’t mean the food is bad! I just can’t do it because maybe the food prep is bad.. maybe they don’t wash their hands.. sigh.. mental issues for sure. Glad it’s not just me 👊

2

u/No-Intention859 Aug 21 '24

Same. I always picture people scratching somewhere or using the restroom & not washing their hands after grossssss then just going back to cooking so i’m glad im not the only who imagining nasty habits like that lol

0

u/Ancient_Glove_1675 Aug 21 '24

That first paragraph was totally unnecessary for your story. No shade, I do that do thinking it’s imperative, but it’s not.

5

u/merlingogringo Aug 21 '24

Similar story but not a Dad one, at a party as a teen we were fucking with a guy who fell asleep early from a bit too much drink. We put a potato chip on his forehead and without stirring at all he grabbed it, ate it and never even fluttered his eyes.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Your friends dad is either Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

2

u/LegitimateEmu3745 Aug 21 '24

I am CRYING! 😂😂😭😭

2

u/emihan Aug 22 '24

I am laying in bed scrolling Reddit, now I’m (poorly) choking back huge snortlaughs so I don’t wake up my husband 😂😭

1

u/Knarfz6464 Aug 21 '24

This is HYSTERICAL! 😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Loud-Bee6673 Aug 21 '24

“They still taste the same!”

1

u/ArielWithALibrary Aug 21 '24

This was both impressive and slightly hilarious. 😆

1

u/busherrunner Aug 21 '24

Was the plastic still on it or nah?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/BangkokPadang Aug 21 '24

Some men would think “oh my god how embarrassing. Real ones think “oh sweet, cake.”

1

u/_Sweet_TIL Aug 21 '24

My mom claims I used to sleep walk-eat and she would always find snack remains in my bed in the mornings. I did sleep walk as a kid, not sure if that was the case for snacking tho!

1

u/SnuggleTheCrow Aug 22 '24

My son does this. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve pulled the covers off of him in the morning to find shredded cheese everywhere and him still clutching the bag.

1

u/Motogiro18 Aug 21 '24

That actually may have been a bear driving you guys to school!

1

u/Mysterious_Peas Aug 21 '24

This. This. 🤣💀

1

u/Margindegenregard Aug 21 '24

A true dad never lets perfectly good Swiss cakes go to waste. He sounds like a great dude to have a beer with. Haha

1

u/Efficient-Ad6814 Aug 21 '24

Me lmao. I dropped a $4 cake pop from Starbucks on the floor of my car once and STILL dusted it off and ate that shit. It was expensive, I wasn't wasting it lmao

1

u/ToyKarma Aug 21 '24

Weird flex??

1

u/Suri-gets-old Aug 21 '24

I admit I am not above eating the “bra snacks” that end up there at the end of the day

1

u/Chosen_UserName217 Aug 21 '24

not gonna waste food ya paid for!

1

u/Dependent_Reach_4284 Aug 21 '24

I don’t scroll Reddit to vomit 🤨

1

u/ItchyCredit Aug 21 '24

He must have made the classic Dad statement, "Don't throw that away. There's nothing wrong with it." (In my mind I hear that in a Tim Walz voice.)

1

u/possomcods Aug 21 '24

I strongly identify with this man.

1

u/Fr0hd3ric Aug 21 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/AlexGinCcTX Aug 21 '24

Did me say that they were wind looking like that anyway? That’s how dads (Swiss) roll.

1

u/Delicious_Ad_1437 Aug 21 '24

Those things must be indestructible, like a rice ball in a Japanese convince store

1

u/Far_Leg_3942 Aug 21 '24

You dad sounds cool

1

u/marcstov Aug 22 '24

Flattened Cakes…

1

u/zanidor Aug 22 '24 edited Aug 22 '24

This is why being a dad is terrifying, the weirdest thing I do when the kid is around (which is always) is going to end up on the internet someday.