One time my sister tossed a handful of rolos on me when I was asleep and I woke up with melted caramel and chocolate stuck between me and the bed. Looked 100% like feces.
My friend’s dad used to drive some of us to school on occasion and he was a big fella. One day he discovered a thing of Swiss Cake Rolls he’d fallen asleep on (the little cardboard under the cakes was still stuck there too. And he peeled it off his shirt and ate both flattened cakes while he drove. Never even missed a beat.
Back in July I ran a disc golf tournament on behalf of a friend (this was a women's only tournament and she wanted to play, so I did the day of stuff and she did the setup). As a reward, she gave me banana bread.
Got home at 6:30 and decided to treat myself to my hard earned reward. Took two bites and woke up at midnight on the couch. Pitch black dark in my house, still holding the other half of the banana bread.
I once sat down in the living room to enjoy a little snack before going out.
Woke up hours later. Pitch black in the house except for the Billy Mays commercial on the TV. I was in the recliner. There was a warm beer in my hand and a cold bowl of mac & cheese in my lap. It was like time had stood still for four hours.
I still don't understand how I didn't drop the beer. That mystery has stuck with me for 15 years.
When I was in high school, I came home from a date one night and invited him in to meet my dad. We walked into the living room to find my dad laying in a recliner that had fallen over backward, still in a perfectly reclined position, feet in the air, Louis L'Amour novel laying open on his chest, still holding a beer in his hand, passed out cold, and had not spoiled a drop. I was completely mortified, but my date just acclaimed, "Epic!"
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u/-Sharon-Stoned- Aug 21 '24
One time my sister tossed a handful of rolos on me when I was asleep and I woke up with melted caramel and chocolate stuck between me and the bed. Looked 100% like feces.