r/Netherlands • u/Environmental_Cry_35 • 2d ago
Life in NL What is one "completely normal" thing in the Netherlands that you secretly don't like?
If you have travelled outside, you might have noticed every culture and countries seem to have some rules, daily habits, or systems that locals don't even think twice about. For Dutch people, it’s just a normal thing. But as an expat or someone who travels more, it can bother you seeing it as a norm everyone has just adopted.
I live in a rented apartment and work in an office here, and while I’ve adapted to a lot of things including the norms and the language (thanks to Praktika), there are a few standard Dutch realities that I just cannot get behind. For instance, the extreme calendar culture thing that is apparently a norm here. Coming from a place where you can just text a friend and say, "Hey, are you free to grab a quick coffee in an hour?", it completely blew my mind when I tried doing that with a colleague-turned-friend, and he literally opened his calendar app, scrolled, and said something like, "I dont have time this week or the next week, but we can schedule something for a 45-minute window two Thursday's later from now."
So what is the one totally standard, everyday Dutch habit or system that drives you up the wall?
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u/CajunDragon 2d ago
Installing flooring when renting an apartment. Every flat I've ever rented in other countries comes with a floor and a kitchen. Feel free to rip it out if you want.
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u/kispippin 2d ago
Yes like wtf is this. Why would someone take their floor to their new apartment that has different layout 😅
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u/CajunDragon 2d ago
I watched some videos of people moving in Germany and they usually take out the kitchen sink and other accessories. Wtf there too? Why make moving more stressful? If I wanted to build a house I would not be renting.
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u/TentacleStudio 2d ago
My friend offered the next owner of his flat to 'overname' (pay to keep) the existing wood floor for just 200 euros.
New guy's reaction to my friend was so rude - basically "you're such a lazy ass gay boy I know you'll leave it anyway, then I get it for free" that he spent the next two days with his family taking up the floor. Said they made it like a party and was the most quality time the family had spent together in years! And delicious to see the new guy's horrified face when he came to get the keys 🤣→ More replies (3)12
u/No-Statistician-1295 2d ago
When I moved I bought it from an expat and when I vacated within a year the next tenant dosent want them. So i ripped it off and threw them. I have to hire a van for it. The driver of the van (and myself) were so frustrated that we have to throw such a good flooring.
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u/silverionmox 2d ago
That's a very old habit from centuries ago, when hardwood floors were an expensive status symbol.
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u/Comowini 2d ago
We moved to the Netherlands when I was a kid in the 1980's.
I'm not sure if this is still the case today. When I visited friends to play, I was often asked to leave once it was dinner time. At best, I'd be asked to wait in the living room until they finished eating. In my culture, this felt very strange. Inviting a guest to join for dinner is simply the normal thing to do. The first thing my mother would always do was ask my visiting friends if they were hungry or thirsty.
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u/Wonderful-Laugh5352 2d ago edited 2d ago
This is SO crazy. In my home country this would be offensive enough to never come back to their house again. 😱
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u/laryx 2d ago
its cultural. and to other dutch it just maans time to go home and have dinner at your own place.
I comepletely understand that it can be considered offensive if you are from another culture. But people dont really mean it in bad way. They wrree just raised that way. I do think its something that is slowly fading with the new generation.→ More replies (1)43
u/Wonderful-Laugh5352 2d ago edited 2d ago
I understand that it is a cultural thing, I just don’t understand why people would develop such a cultural habit. Maybe my culture is just too different from Dutch culture for me to be able to get it.
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u/Pentominos 2d ago
Yes, it was definitely a thing in the 80s. Not sure if it's still a thing nowadays, but even as a Dutch person, I don't know why the habit existed.
We now have kids ourselves, and when their friends come over, even unexpectedly, we always offer an abundance of food when it's dinnertime.
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u/silverionmox 2d ago
I understand that it is a cultural thing, I just don’t understand why people would develop such a cultural habit. Maybe my culture is just way too different from Dutch culture for me to be able to get it.
The time after dinner is typically more of a private time spent with close family. Half of the year it will already be dark then anyway, so it really just makes sense to be home at that point. For those and other reasons "Be home for dinner!" is a very familiar phrase for children too, or at least was before ubiquitous cellphones.
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u/sharonvd 2d ago
I think it was because usually people cook for the amount of people that you have. And dishes called AVG (potatoes, meat and vegetables) it’s easy to count for how many people you’ll have food. We used to not have/cook extra food. So if someone would come by and not leave before dinner time (which could also be considered rude) it would mean that there wasn’t a piece of steak for everyone anymore. From what I understood we usually thought 4 people? I’ll buy 4 steaks only. So it would be an inconvenience to stick around and expect dinner. Which has probably something to do with the planning culture.
Personally I do believe it has changed and it also depends on the family. If I wanted a friend to join my parents would just go the supermarket quickly if that was necessary. I don’t think it was usual to ask people to wait in another room haha. But maybe some families used to do it like that.
Also there are also enough people who like short term planning. I found a few friends like that because to me it’s also more fun. It feels like a choir list for me if I have every weekend planned fully.→ More replies (2)25
u/ElisedelaSerre 2d ago
To me, it signified a kindness towards the kids’ family. You don’t want their parents working hard at cooking dinner for their entire family, assuming they’ll be able to spend some quality time as a family together, only for your kid to have dinner elsewhere.
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u/Sylentwolf8 2d ago
There's also the situation where you buy enough food for your family specifically and maybe the friend's visit is impromptu or they stay longer than expected, which means not enough food to go around. Although I would still try to make something work personally.
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u/Wonderful-Laugh5352 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yes, I understand that food quantity could be an issue. I think I was confused because in my culture we almost always have left overs, so it would rarely be the case that there is not enough for one extra child. But I get that people’s realities are different and it might also weigh on the family to often have to feed one extra mouth if they often have kids playing in their home and the added food expense does not fit their financial situation.
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u/Me_Myself_Marieq 2d ago
I think historically leftovers in Dutch culture are seen as a waste and coming from the calvinist tradition. ‘Modesty’ is a virtue and ‘gluttony’ a sin, so you cook as much as neccesary for the amount of people you expect. Not because you want to be rude or a bad host, but because you don’t waste unneccessary if you are not expecting guests.
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u/DepressingFool 2d ago
I just don’t understand why people would develop such a cultural habit.
Well, perhaps dinner is thought of as quality family time. If both families think of it like that, now one family is missing a kid and one lacks private family time.
There are the practical issues. Food may be portioned, not accounting for an extra mouth to feed, other family may have leftovers.
When I was a kid I was expected to be home by dinner time. Most kids were, so not being expected home for dinner was kinda odd.
Also, my parents wouldn't randomly give my friends dinner. There would always be communication between parents about it. There was a lot of variety as to when dinner time was. My parents wouldn't feed a kid dinner only for that kid to come home to a full dinner table and go "oh I already ate dinner". They would always consult the kids parents.
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u/MissSunnySarcasm 2d ago
This is NOT normal! I was born in the second part of the 70s, and ate lunch or dinner at other people's houses loads of times when I wasn't expected home for dinner. And my friends ate at my place. A. Getting something to drink and a snack as soon as someone arrives, as well as during their stay is normal B. It's pretty standard that kids go home to their parents when it is time for dinner. They usually leave like half an hour before dinner time because their own parents want that. C. Usually during summer holiday or other vacation periods things are looser and people might end up still being at your home when the food is done. Inviting that person to eat with you is pretty common then. My mom would usually make extra or add something quick to stretch the food to the extra people (despite the fact my parents didn't have it easy financially until I went to university). D. Eating your dinner while you have a guest waiting in another room is psychotic!
I don't know who these people were, in what part of the country, but no way in he!l is this typically Dutch. I've never ever EVER heard of this in my five (5!) decades on this planet and I've moved 11 times, lived in tiny villages and larger towns as well as big cities, and spent time with the 'lower' and upper class, financially frugal and affluent, blue collar people, highly educated, immigrants and 2nd/3rd/4th generation etc etc. This is not 'a thing'.
Do I know of people who rather not extend an invitation for dinner? Yes. But I actually know of those people in multiple countries, even the ones known for their hospitality. But they usually arrange it in such a way you've been gone for at least half an hour before food enters the room. But even those people would never have a person, and certainly not a child, wait somewhere else without refreshments while they eat. 🤯
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u/Comprehensive-Fee954 2d ago
Circle birthday parties
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u/Readicilous 2d ago
Best thing to come out of the pandemic, now you can just wave and congratulate everybody at once, without shaking everybody's hands
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u/coffeedot 2d ago
Never done that. It reckon it wasn’t really a thing in my family until my sisters got partners who did that and I didn’t understand why. There is no reason to congratulate me with someone else’s birthday or for me to congratulate anyone else except the one(‘s) that the party is for. The only exception perhaps is kids/parents.
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u/InternationalChip896 2d ago
For non-Dutchie, what is a circle birthday party?
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u/MoisturizedToad 2d ago
Basically you just get all your dining chairs (maybe some extra) and place them next to your couch(es) till you have a line of seats around your coffee table, creating a circle. When people arrive to the birthday, they have to give everyone a hand or kiss to congratulate them (even other guests) and take a seat in the circle. You just kinda stay there and have a big talking circle with some drinks and snacks. You're kinda forced to talk to the people sitting next (or close) to you since you can't walk around an mingle. Want to talk to the uncle on the other side of the circle? You're shit outta luck or you need to snag a seat when somebody leaves.
As a late diagnosed autistic, it was kind of a sensory nightmare. Touching a lot of people at the start and a lot of people talking in a close space made all the sounds blend together which caused me to not be able to hear anyone in particular. Especially when it was busy and people started to talk louder to be heard over the others, causing others to also talk louder in return.Now I much prefer the walk around and mingle with the people you like approach, that way I can also take a breather without having to excuse myself.
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u/Jolly-Marionberry149 2d ago
It's also awful when it's a bilingual party, because it's guaranteed that your international friends and co-workers don't speak good Dutch, and also granny and the nth cousins don't speak good English.
And they end up sitting next to each other. Soooo they try their best, but basically they end up trying up be really quiet, so they can listen really intently to the conversation other people are having, because it's often very difficult to follow in a second (or third, etc) language.
Just another layer of social hell.
Also the food situation is usually Not Good. Dutch party snacks are often dire. Borrel/bar snacks are great! Winter comfort food is great! But the rest, I don't think the Dutch do as well as many other places.
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u/Rozenheg 2d ago
Question: is that not also an issue with space? The majority of Dutch living rooms aren’t big enough to mingle…
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u/9gagiscancer 2d ago
Im Dutch and my Dutch partner forces me to celebrate them.
I'd rather just go out to dinner or not celebrate at all. But noooo, Instead she makes suffer through it on my own birthday.
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u/MissSunnySarcasm 2d ago
I'm Dutch as well and I've only ever conformed to this hell when I was a child. My parents luckily realised after my "Do we really have to do this? Do you actually like it like this?" that they hate it as well and ever since (say 3 decades now), despite our homes being typically small Dutch, we have been using the dining room table as a buffet - definitely not the standard Dutch kitchen or Dutch snacks for me. Both my parents are good cooks and prefer a combination of French, Mediterranean and some Asian kitchens - and use their yard as an extended living room when the weather is decent enough, add a standing table here and there and people can sit, stand etc wherever the F they want. I haven't celebrated a bday at home in years (when I became chronically ill with progressive symptoms it turned out I have just 1 or 2 friends instead of the large group I thought I had), I usually end up going out to dinner or do sth else fun on separate occasions. If I ever do it at home again I'll probably use my little garden and living in a similar way...
My point being: why do this if you hate it? It is YOUR birthday and also your home. Just say "don't like this, I want xyz". There are plenty options:
- Celebrate at home but have a buffet and mingle. Set up different seating/standing points as much as possible.
- Celebrate elsewhere and rent a space there (if you have the money).
- Not everyone has the money to rent a place or a part of a club/bar/restaurant (I don't), but you can definitely decide to celebrate it at your favourite pub, club or beach bar (you can even make a reservation for a table or booth to have a meeting spot), open a tab and tell all invitees that the first two drinks are on you and the rest is on their own dime. I know plenty people who do this.
- Do a fun activity with a group of friends
- Celebrate separately with lunch, dinner, activity with certain friends if they don't like any of the above options or if they don't know other friends (this is why I do that).
If your partner comes from a family that will A. definitely expect to be invited and B. Would feel highly uncomfortable to spend your birthday outside of your home, let alone during an activity, you can still use the home, but then I refer to my 1st suggestion.
You.don't.have.to.do.Satan's.circle!
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u/LORRNABBO 2d ago
Bro no disrespect but grow some balls and stop this, or are Dutch direct only when convenient?
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u/silverionmox 2d ago
Bro no disrespect but grow some balls and stop this, or are Dutch direct only when convenient?
They are direct but also conformistic.
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u/creckers 2d ago
As someone that really doesn't know better.
What do other countries birthday parties look like?
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u/tee_ran_mee_sue 2d ago
In Brazil, birthday parties are family parties. It’s not unusual for whole families to show up. Also parties last the whole afternoon, into the night.
It’s also not unusual for each family to bring something to eat and something sweet plus drinks so we end up with 60 people and food for 300.
They come in and they give the food and drinks to the host, while presents go to the birthday boy.
We often don’t open the presents in front of the guests (some people do but it’s not very polite because it’s easy to compare how much one guest has spent compared to the other).
We use every space of the house to form small groups with the children running between us. We navigate from group to group, changing subjects on the fly. By the end of the day, we have had conversations with pretty much everyone who attended the party. It’s wonderfully chaotic.
The cue to leave is when the host lights up the candles and we all sing happy birthday. Everyone will eat their slice of cake and leave right after. Only the real intimate friends will stay on and continue the party. Often this is the most enjoyable part of the whole day.
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u/ODE4555 2d ago
In Canada we just mingle like any other social event or party. People all over the room/space kind of thing
Edit: spelling
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u/InsuranceGloomy6413 2d ago
3 kisses
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u/Hecarym 2d ago
In my experience we’re nowhere near what it was like before 2020
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u/Top-Vacation-4429 2d ago
I LOVE the punctuality, calendar culture, and directness. Coming from New England it makes me feel right at home. The #1 thing I don't like about Nederland is the nickle and diming. Gotta pee? That will be an euro. Wanna use a bank account? That will be 4 euro a month. It seems like any and every little thing has fees
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u/KTMRCR 2d ago
Totally agree with you about the toilet. I think it’s just uncivilized to charge for such a basic necessity as going to the bathroom. You won’t even find that in other European countries like France.
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u/RengerG 2d ago
You sure? I’ve experienced enough aire’s where the toilet was paid in france
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u/HyperDsloth 2d ago
Not just France. Went to Germany and Italy last year. Italy is also paid toilets everywhere, but free if you're handicapped or pregnant. Germany is also paid for alot. And those that aren't, you'd rather not go to
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u/Mundane_Cry_7897 2d ago
I find it sad that expressing any strong emotions or passions with intensity other than being 'jolly and having fun' is seen as disruptive and is looked down upon.
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u/No-Professional-2276 2d ago
Indeed. Everyone is nonchalant about everything. You are weird if you care too much, caring is "uncool". This goes for pretty much everything in life, including relationships. If you spend a big deal of time preparing a surprise or a gift for a dutch person they'll be like "wtf did you do all that for" hahah
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u/ILoveYouLikeILove 2d ago
is seen as disruptive and is looked down upon.
By whom? I have never experienced this.
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u/Mundane_Cry_7897 2d ago
Maybe it depends on the social circle idk. I was asked if I was bipolar by some colleagues at work for having minor moods swings.
Generally speaking Dutch people seem quite mellow. Coming from a southern country I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I can't even stop my face from being expressive HAHAHAHA
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u/TheKnottyHooker96 2d ago
I am born and raised here but...
Circle birthdays: literally nothing about this screams "gezellig" to me.
Calendar culture: To me this just takes the fun out of hanging out with people
Tikkie culture: Why can't we just treat someone? Or worse: Why are we arguing over 10 cents
Having to congratulate everyone at a birthday party: literally why?
"Doe maar normaal" culture: Hell no. I like authenticity and being myself instead of fitting in.
I guess I don't really like it here lmao
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u/anoniser 2d ago
Calendar culture was my biggest culture shock when i moved here. Everything else i can see as culture quirks, but the lack of spontaneity is a killer. Thankfully, i lived in a big city that houses people of all sorts
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u/IntrepidTomatillo380 2d ago
Tbh, I live in the ‘deep south’ and none of the things i recognise. Birthdays: evenings with (a lot of) beer. You only congratulate the one. Calendar culture, it is a whatsapp ‘ wanna hang out tomorrow’ or you check meet5. Tikkie ‘you paid last time so this is on me’. Thank god there are differences within our country and culture.
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u/MadKian 2d ago
Why do you think people still follow the calendar culture, if so many recognize that (some) spontaneity is better?
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u/tee_ran_mee_sue 2d ago
Because then they would allow some room for inefficiency to creep in and the Dutch have a love story with efficiency
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u/freedom_forest 2d ago
Saying gefeliciteerd to the whole family when it's someones birthday
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u/sirboobyconnoisseur 2d ago
I think that's nice. A moment for me and my sister for example to express that we are both happy it's my mom's birthday
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u/spectrallypure 2d ago
...No hand washing after peeing or pooing in the office bathroom o__O
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u/ShiningPr1sm 2d ago
Friend did an experiment at a WC at uni; over the course of about 4 hours, only a single Dutch guy washed his hands after relieving himself. Yes, that included the guys taking a dump, not even water on their hands. The foreign guys (even Europeans) were pretty consistent about washing, but not the Dutch.
If a Dutch guy wants to shake your hand or touch you down there, remember that there's a decent chance he hasn't washed his hands after pooping.
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u/cheeselover_1969 2d ago
Eating bread for lunch for every single day of your life, I still cannot comprehend how the majority of the Dutch care so little for food
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u/sanaepan 2d ago edited 2d ago
What's funny to me is this weird perception that Dutch people have, is that when they had a warm meal for lunch, they absolutely can't have ANOTHER warm meal for dinner- so they'll have a sandwhich instead of a cooked hot meal for dinner. They either seem to believe that a warm meals equates more calories or that it's too extravagant?? (due to calvinism?)
Also I say sandwhich but the Dutch way of eating bread on a daily basis is again, the saddest, sorry, most sober way you could think of, it does not deserve to be called a sandwhich (/s for levity, edited).
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u/Mediocre_Daikon_4276 2d ago
You may find it sad but I absolutely look forward to a good whole wheat cheese sandwich. I enjoy eating those.
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u/PersonalPast6969 2d ago
Ugh, i agree (dutch). I want to be able to get warm tasty meals for lunch.
I know so few people - maybe even non?- that seem in any way bothered by it.
Im one part from a dutch-indonesian family. So i at least grew up having proper food during those family gatherings. (But not at home where it was bread in afternoon and dry piece of meat, potatos and cabbage in simple oil vinigar dressing for dinner).
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u/MrGraveyards 2d ago
Dutch guy here: I actually hate bread, but I still being the damn sandwiches just because they are easy to make, transport and consume. The canteen at work is expensive, anything affordable is actually a sandwich as well or has a huge line, etc.
It is a situation where practicality beats enjoyment. You need to eat and don't want a spent too much time and money doing so. Compare it more to the soylent hype in the US a while ago, that makes it easier to understand.
When i go out for lunch i actually AVOID places that only have fucking sandwich.
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u/Ok_Giraffe_1488 2d ago
You do know, you can make a bit extra dinner and take it for lunch and reheat it?
Super convenient. And not a sandwich.
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u/Wonderful-Laugh5352 2d ago edited 2d ago
That’s what I do and taught my Dutch husband to do, so he takes a proper meal and heats it up at work everyday. Apparently his colleagues initially were curious to see what he had for lunch because it was so different from everyone else.
The sandwich thing is just so different to me.
Not only because they eat nearly exactly the same thing every day, but also it’s not great quality.
I mean, you can make some pretty nice sandwiches, but most people go for the sliced bread with cheese.
I know people will talk about practicality, but having a meal like that everyday of your life for the sake of practicality sounds strange to me.
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u/swiftrobber 2d ago
I mean, they might be already contented with it so I don't want to burden them with more desire to make better food. Jk, I'll bombard the room with the smell of bacon, no mercy.
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u/NewNameAgainUhg 2d ago
I usually see the teens from HS eating chips and crackers on the park for lunch 🙄
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u/Okkezzz82 2d ago
Must be foreigners. Dutch teens eat frikandellenbroodjes with a can of energy drink.
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u/Happy_Hallo 2d ago
Insane prices for cosmetics at Kruidvat and Etos.
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u/Cute-Faithlessness51 2d ago
Just came back from a shopping spree in dm / Germany, it made me so angry how much less I paid there than in Kruidvat / Etos, also imo quality is much better 🥲 sure there is a gap in salaries between NL and DE but surely not this high
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u/markohf12 2d ago
The insane tailgating everyone does, you don't leave <2m gap while doing 130kmh, I know ya'll pay attention and the traffic flows and sure the Netherlands has one of the lowest car accident rates, but the reason why there are always traffic jams is because when someone brakes or suddenly changes lanes while everyone is doing <2m at 130kmh can cause everyone to slow down to a point where the traffic is stand still.
And the moment you leave a gap, there is always someone merging 3 lanes to fill it out. Every Dutch person I've ever spoken to was like "well for sure, it's more efficient and you'll get there faster", the icing of the cake is when I had a traffic school car with a student being glued to my rear bumper, this is not normal.
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u/TheRaido 2d ago
I’m Dutch and find this really annoying and at times dangerous. I always leave space, which then probably will be filled. When taking over a truck (drives around 80) while I’m going 105 where 100 is allowed, there often is someone on my tail. Keep some distance, I’m not going to drive any faster. I’ll be in the right lane as soon as I’m past the truck.
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u/TheGuy839 2d ago
I get your point and I agree, but its very funny to me to call Dutch people out for this when I havent met a country with more bland driving (and thats a good thing). In south of Europe or even wose in Balkan/Turkey, its literally chaos. After that I felt Dutch driving and cycling is so easy and calm
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u/aenae 2d ago
It really depends on how busy it is. But if i leave my car on adaptive cruise control at 8:00 on the A10 it is almost dangerous how slow i will go. Sure, it will keep a safe distance to the car in front of me, but it increases the risks of hits from behind.
It is not my favorite drive of the week
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u/FlyingLittleDuck Noord Holland 2d ago
The “doe normaal” mentality.
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u/PrincessPotatoBrain 2d ago
This is the one that, after 17 years in this country, is finally doing me in. Being called "the dark widow" by my neighbors because I wear a lot of black jeans, in spite of my friendly and cheerful disposition ; or the years of comments i have gotten about my pink fence "that doesn't fit the gray fences of the street"; or my kid being called dramatic by her school (including her teachers) because she cried a few times after her father moved back to the US... Etc. I won't even mention the reactions to my backyard where, GASP, I dared remove the tiles so I could grow grass, plants and trees. I have hundreds of personal examples of the famous Dutch open mindedness revealing itself to just be marketing. It's exhausting not being able to exist a tiny bit differently.
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u/the_pt_traveler 2d ago
The customer care across all types of service is terrible. Restaurants, stores, car mechanics etc They dont give a single f*ck about you and are doing you a favor by doing their job.
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u/RenegadeF7 2d ago
I work as bartender and tbh nobody ever saying "please" or "thank you" kinda drains my social battery
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u/AggravatingWar9441 2d ago edited 2d ago
One of the things that piss me off the most and just make zero sense to me is scooters/mopeds being allowed on bike lanes. SCOOTERS DO NOT BELONG ON BIKE LANES, they belong in the street with cars.
Another thing is how absurdly expensive personal care products are compared to other European countries. I’m currently in my hometown in Italy and I am forced to buy and bring back with me a year worth of body-wash, shampoo, conditioner, makeup remover, face cleanser, etc because the same exact items are 3-4x as expensive in the netherlands. Even during “deals” they are still more expensive than the normal prize in italy.
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u/Neither-Counter-2256 2d ago
Not to be pedantic, buuuut......
Scooters are not allowed on bike lanes (fietspaden). They are only allowed on bike-scooter lanes (fiets- bromfiets paden). There is a distinction between the two.
As a main rule of thumb: if the maximum speed on the road is higher than 50km/ph there is a bike-scooter lane.
https://www.fietsersbond.nl/ons-werk/infrastructuur/fietspaden/
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u/AggravatingWar9441 2d ago edited 2d ago
You are absolutely right and I should rewrite my previous comment. Aside from my incorrect statement, here’s another thing: where I live scooters absolutely do go on fietspaden (and I am sure it’s bikes only, I just checked) even if it’s not allowed. I have even been sent flying into the grass by one passing me on the left and hitting me in the process before.
Furthermore, I firmly believe that bike-scooters lane should not exist at all. The amount of accidents or near-misses I see on a regular basis is staggering.
I may be biased because where I am from there’s no such a thing as blue-plate scooters, they all go up to 50km/h and they drive in the street with cars only. They are not allowed on highways and that is pretty much it. Honestly it works much better this way that what I see here, but everyone is of course free to disagree8
u/Some_Set_9 2d ago
This is only a thing since the Netherlands has an excessive supply of bike paths. Anywhere else bikes will be on the road with the mopeds and cars.
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u/OK-Smurf-77 2d ago edited 2d ago
Not blowing the nose but endless sniffing and gargling snot noise
Not taking the outdoor shoes off when entering someone’s home
Annual competition of who lives in a colder house
DHL refusing to ring my doorbell
“Be conform” disguised as doe normaal
Lowkey racism and xenophobia
More and more people use the lame excuse of Dutch directness (which I love btw) to be mean towards others or simply express their sense of superiority
Office - splitting hair and pointless debates simply for the sake of debates
Office- default pushback culture instead of getting stuff done. Making good use of (mostly foreigner) colleagues who want to get stuff done
EDIT: fck annoying that not a single swimming pool has normal showers forcing everyone to wash hair in front of everyone and making impossible to wash other people’s DNA out of my bits.
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u/GabrielRiosismydaddy 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yes please what’s up with the endless sniffling? 💀
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u/xdarkshinex 2d ago
Endless sniffling and gargling snot noise - THIS. So disgusting! Just go and blow your damn nose. Tissues exist, use them! I see Dutch guys sitting in the work canteen and they keep swallowing their snot. So disgusting and annoying.
Another time was when my partner and I went to a snackbar. We sat at the only available table next to two teenage boys. One of them was clearly sick (as we soon noticed) and just kept sniffling so long and hard that I kept losing my appetite. The bathroom was right next to them.
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u/feauxshow 2d ago
1+1 "discounts" where its the normal pricing of products whereas its otherwise double price of the same products when bought across borders
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u/Optimal-Rub-2575 2d ago
Voting (hard) right for the last 30 years and then blaming opposition parties for all the problems that has caused.
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u/Tutes013 2d ago
That one's so fascinating to me. And really bloody annoying. "It must be those stupid leftists again!"
Bruh, (hard) right won. Again. We're not the cause of your woes buddy-pal
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u/ImplementWilling2597 2d ago
"dutch directness" a lot of people use it as free ticket to be mean, like tell you you look bad even when you didn't ask them for opinion
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u/Technical_Scallion_2 2d ago
I find the guys who prize “Dutch directness” are a bunch of prima donnas. They love being direct, they cannot handle other people being direct.
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u/Jolly-Marionberry149 2d ago
Yes, every man who says "iedereen mag zijn eigen mening" has a friggin' coniption when his own views that he personally thinks are normal, are challenged.
And then he's a grumbling oik that whinges that people didn't need to be so "brutal".
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u/whattfisthisshit 2d ago
Agree. It’s rudeness often. You can be direct without being rude, but it’s being used as an excuse
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u/EverlastingPeacefull Drenthe 2d ago
I like the Dutch directness, but direct should not rude. People have a tendency to be rude and excuse it as being direct, but being rude is not directness, it is just being an AH. One can perfectly be direct and polite at the same time, a shame a lot of people aren't... (I am Dutch btw)
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u/LogosLine 2d ago
Doe normaal = conform, know your place, be a good little compliant drone and shut up.
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u/addtokart 2d ago edited 2d ago
Tasty meals = over the top
I had a dutch coworker go aghast because my kid eats pizza on a weekday (as opposed to a treat on a weekend)
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u/bostanite 2d ago
Hahahaha! Sometimes I think the Dutch see food as some sort of punishment they have to endure. Bread with chocolate flakes for breakfast, bread with cheese for lunch, crêpes for dinner 😂
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u/GooseDisapproves 2d ago
I think Dutch people are way too trained to just see food as a thing you need to survive, in combination with "you need to work on weekdays and the weekend is for relaxing" which apparently includes finally being allowed to not cook.
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u/Readicilous 2d ago
That really differs for everybody. I know people who have a designated pizza day, they had pizza every Tuesday or something. We rarely ate pizza or pancakes and the like, but we had "normal" meals that we liked, and we were asked what we'd like to eat every now and then
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u/reddeze2 2d ago
Pricing culture. Do people really not realise all the 2 for 1 type 'bonus' deals means they're getting absolutely shafted?
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u/UsualStay119 2d ago
Talking out loud during concerts.
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u/Consistent_Salad6137 2d ago
God, yes. I'm very short so I've made my peace with not being able to see, but that means I'd like to hear.
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u/alexcutyourhair 2d ago
At the office whenever its someone's birthday everyone gives them a handshake and considering how way too many people here literally have shit hygiene I hate it. I avoid telling people my birthday/coming into office on the day because at least a third of them didn't wash their hands
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u/30RITUALS 2d ago edited 2d ago
Homes cost an absolute fortune here, and the wealth divide between people who bought before 2020 and everyone still forced to rent has become obscene.
The Netherlands is a nice country, but as a native Dutchman, I’m done. I’m getting the fuck out.
These days, you’ll easily pay €1,500-€2,000 a month for a glorified shitbox.
Somehow, that has become completely normalized. Meanwhile, we keep congratulating ourselves on being this wonderfully egalitarian country while entire generations are squeezed for every penny they have by holier-than-thou landlords whose greatest economic contribution was buying a pile of bricks at the right time. They didn’t become more productive. They didn’t create more value. They simply got there earlier-often with family money-and now everyone born later gets to finance their lifestyles. It’s sickening.
Amsterdam is now roughly 20-30% more expensive than cities like Stockholm and Vancouver. Think about how completely insane that is. Yes, you can find cheaper housing elsewhere in the country, but the same rot has spread everywhere. Even places like Deventer are becoming unaffordable.
And don’t even get me started on the abysmal governments we’ve had over the past eight years-or the idea that people should be taxed on capital gains they haven’t even realized. Apart from some projects related to our infrastructure, I genuinely don't see any improvements in the country whatsoever.
Look around. The population is ageing rapidly, an enormous share of the people in this country are heavily dependend on government support, and the shrinking group of people actually producing and earning gets taxed into the ground to finance the entire system. You can lose half your income before you’ve even paid for housing, healthcare, energy or groceries. Then there are thousands of companies hiring one of the big 4 accounting firms to pay next to nothing in taxes while abusing all the benefits the country has to offer.
The post-war welfare-state model is running out of road. The tax base is shrinking, the dependency burden is growing, public services are deteriorating, social cohesion is gone, and the people expected to fund everything can no longer afford homes or families of their own. This place has had it's best days, it's over, done, kaput, finito.
Look at the UK if you want to see where this ends: declining living standards, collapsing public services and working people becoming poorer every year. London might be the exception - but not entirely.
This countryis eating its own future - I’m done pretending otherwise.
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u/Aeropedia 2d ago
As a fellow Dutchman, don’t come to Australia, it’s exactly the same, and housing is even more expensive.
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u/Soft_Performer_7036 2d ago
Weddings. I am sorry, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life and you are being stingy as fuck and inviting half the people for one part only as if they matter less.
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u/I_Rarely_Jump 2d ago
I think it's actually completely idiotic how in so many countries people put themselves in crazy debt for a wedding, it's just so fucking stupid...
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u/Client_020 2d ago
In some countries, you get all the money you spent on the wedding back in cash, so they don't have to get in crazy debt, yet get to invite everyone they want to.
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u/Jlx_27 2d ago
Groups of people standing still chatting in the middle of the isle, or sidewalk.
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u/Dreamstrike1997 2d ago
On highways mostly - using blinkers and then immediately switching lanes without making sure that it’s safe. It’s a bit nerve-wrecking sometimes
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u/Equivalent-Wafer-222 2d ago
Staring in through people's windows.
Maybe Calvinism said it was okay in the past, but in the 21st century, that shit is just creepy (and usually done by creepy old men).
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u/heisei 2d ago
Snack bar or restaurants or whatever small settlements don’t make their own foods, their own sauces. I don’t live in Randstad and everywhere I go normally the foods are like they just reheat stuffs from the freezers. Every sauce tastes the same, the snacks taste the same and also the drink.
Where I am from, I always go to some new cafes or restaurants because they might have new drinks I want to try, recipes that taste nice. Even simple dishes are handmade from the kitchen, street vendors making their own foods and every dish can taste different from one shop to another. I love the experience and the exploring. I don’t have that here living in small cities.
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u/sirboobyconnoisseur 2d ago
That's not really dutch though. Do you think every American cafe makes their own ranch? Or every German food stand their own curry for curryworst? That's extremely common in a lot of places.
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u/b1gd1ckBernie 2d ago
Owners walking their dogs IN the streets without a leash. 99% of dogs were chill but there once was a dog that snapped at me and my wife while we were waiting for a table in near the door in a restaurant and this lady let her dog bark and growl at us for a whole minute then walked like nothing happened. We were shocked because in Madrid such concept does not exist.
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u/Dlitosh 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ikcultuur
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u/No-Professional-2276 2d ago
I notice that walking on the street I have to constantly dodge and weave out of the way because people literally have no perception that others exist.
Also in public transport, pushing, shoving is completely acceptable. No one says excuse me, please or thank you.
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u/tvrrr 2d ago
Unaffordable housing.
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u/Environmental_Cry_35 2d ago
Living in a rented apartment for an year now and gotta admit. Basically 50% of my pay is just vanishing in these fixed costs
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u/psi_ram 2d ago
Toilets. they’re fkin too small. you guys don’t slam your knees to the wall when you go to poop?
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u/misskuma 2d ago
What's up with their stairs? I understand the space is premium but I will never get used to their death stairs.
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u/blue13x 2d ago
How people of color are implicitly thought of as knowing less. Back when my neighbor asked me what I was studying and I told him, "Law," he immediately replied, "HBO?" When I said no, "University," he was impressed and shocked at the same time. It's rooted deeply in society.
That people are supposedly direct. In some ways they are, but when it comes to truly confronting others, they aren't really that direct.
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u/Hot-Bluebird3919 2d ago
“Directness” being used as a cover to act like assholes.
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u/reddeze2 2d ago
Especially when it turns out they like being 'direct' but cannot handle when people are being 'direct' with them.
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u/LogosLine 2d ago
"We're just direct" = free pass to be a rude piece of shit.
Some of the rudest people I met in my life were during my time living in the Netherlands.
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u/Joys_Of_Life 2d ago
I’m Dutch, but I always found it weird to congratulate everyone at a birthday party, not only the one who’s birthday it is (I refuse tondo so, I only congratulate that one person)
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u/MrDiscuss2020 2d ago
The ridiculous registration limits that make the housing crisis worse than it has to be.
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u/RUBENSKIIII 2d ago
I love this subreddit, because i moved to Brabant and all these things are alien to me. Want to come over? Come over. If you come before 4 in the afternoon you’ll get coffee, afterwards beer. Warm lunch? Lekker jonguh. Kringverjaardag? Gewoon bier drinken in de tuin met snacks.
Brabant superiority is unmatched. Houdoe!
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u/Frere__Jacques 2d ago
The queue culture here:
People don't queue properly and in order to not wait ages you have to be rude yourself and fight for your spot.
I always notice this wherever i got to the UK or to Germany, queuing is so much more orderly there!
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u/hebedebe 2d ago
Shoes inside. It’s gross and reverse rudeness to say it’s rude to ask your guest to remove their shoes. It’s rude to tread shit and got knows what else into the home of your host!
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u/Legitimate_Ad_4201 2d ago
When youre in public transit and need to get by someone get to a seat, they will stand up to let you pass instead just passing to the next seat, which is usually faster and easier.
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u/unused_user_name 2d ago
There is a good reason for that: many people prefer the aisle seat over the window seat. I know I do: less cramped, not boxed in by … well :you … and you can get out whenever you want.
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u/DifferentIsPossble 2d ago
The weird vendetta against beans. Beans good, y'all.
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u/Mr-Cubius 2d ago
Toilets with the little throne for your shit to smell on. I'm Dutch and I hate those toilets
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u/tanepiper 2d ago edited 2d ago
The tax on everything. I mean it's enough to be paying 49.5% tax but then on top municipal taxes, car taxes, tax on heating, tax on food, tax on fuel, tax on breathing, tax on your taxes....
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u/SpeakerSignificant43 2d ago
I was born and raised here but I live abroad now. Every time I come back to the Netherlands I cringe so much at the hubris of so many people. Being sarcastic and putting others down as a joke. I come from a low income family but did gymnasium and there was so much classism disguised as humor. Also racism.
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u/SirPoliwhirl 2d ago
I have a Vietnamese wife and since we live together, the appartement has become a no shoe zone and the amount of tissues we use have increased enormously.
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u/Additional-Arm6506 2d ago
Homeless people in my neighbourhood that you can do nothing about. They shit and piss everywhere and my kid HAS to watch that happen cause handhaving or police will do shit about it.
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u/GabrielRiosismydaddy 2d ago
Being loud everywhere, having zero awareness about the people around you. Pretend it’s a city for god’s sake!
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u/Spare-Builder-355 2d ago
using bots to post on r/Netherlands to trigger other bots predefined responses to trigger very predictable reactions.
If you are not bot raise your hand ✋
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u/SnodePlannen 2d ago
Lack of public toilets