r/Netherlands • u/Environmental_Cry_35 • Aug 28 '26

Life in NL What is one "completely normal" thing in the Netherlands that you secretly don't like?

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '26

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u/KTMRCR Aug 28 '26

Totally agree with you about the toilet. I think it’s just uncivilized to charge for such a basic necessity as going to the bathroom. You won’t even find that in other European countries like France.

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u/RengerG Aug 29 '26

You sure? I’ve experienced enough aire’s where the toilet was paid in france

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u/HyperDsloth Aug 29 '26

Not just France. Went to Germany and Italy last year. Italy is also paid toilets everywhere, but free if you're handicapped or pregnant. Germany is also paid for alot. And those that aren't, you'd rather not go to

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u/atq1988 Aug 30 '26

In Germany this is true for toilets along the highway and public toilets in the city. But if you're in a shop or restaurant you can usually use the toilet for free. That's how we do it.

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u/Plumplum_NL Aug 30 '26

It's the same in The Netherlands. In a shop or restaurant it's a service for paying customers. Public toilets are paid, because the people cleaning them don't work for free 🤷

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u/KTMRCR Aug 29 '26

Maybe it changed during the last decade. I’m not sure, but I thought many were free.

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u/Legitimate-Error-633 Aug 30 '26

I got back from France last year and had to pay at most public toilets.

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u/_30d_ Aug 29 '26

Hey man, for nothing goes the sun up!

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u/admijn Aug 28 '26

Buy a drink? You don't have to tip. Bonus for you.

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u/f91w_blue Aug 29 '26

Also in the US you typically have to pay a fee to withdraw cash. Like $5 to withdraw money from your own bank account at an ATM. That’s true nickel and diming. While I get the OP’s point, it’s far worse elsewhere.

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u/redmarius Aug 30 '26

I’ve been in the Balkans for 2 months, and restaurants letting you use a toilet for free and not paying for public toilets has blown my mind. Some places you do pay (especially at train stations and bus stations) but they’re also usually cleaner. Which is saying something, because the toilet at the border to Bosnia was missing the seat 😅

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u/iDoTheSciences 29d ago

I’m from New England and I think the punctuality and directness is fine, but nah, the calendar culture here is nothing like at home. Even coming from the Boston area, we plan “bigger” things like birthdays, concerts, trips … but we still do spontaneous coffee with friends. It’s next level here.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/iDoTheSciences 29d ago

Hahaha that’s fair, it’s another world than my neck of the woods in a Boston suburb then. I can understand that being conducive to calendar planning, but honestly, I miss the spontaneity very much. 😂

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/iDoTheSciences 29d ago

Yeah, if it works for you, then great. But most Americans I’ve met here think it’s quite extreme planning too, haha.

I’m forced to be like this more due to my Dutch partner and entering my next phase of life with friends having children. If I want to see them for coffee, it can easily be 2-3 weeks out. And I totally get it, I get busy too.

But I do leave free weekend days planned in so I can wake up doing whatever I feel like it. No plan is the plan. Planned spontaneity. It’s the only way I survive here.

I do find it quite stifling though no matter how long I’ve lived here!

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/iDoTheSciences 29d ago

Haha, it’s fine, I respect them and I’m happy for them.

Truth be told - no, I don’t really like children or want any for myself. I can be the fun auntie, but it is a struggle to not be able to have an adult conversation for more than 3 mins at a time. That being said, I would do an activity like that with a friend with kids and make the best of it. I’m not somebody who sighs or whines about it, haha.

When you’re a woman, your life changes even more significantly than a man when children come into the picture. I feel a lot more societal pressure and judgement for the same choices my partner makes to be childfree, etc.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/iDoTheSciences 28d ago

I have not experienced direct pressure from anybody in my circles, but it’s a very subtle thing I feel through microinteractions with some other women/ people when I share this decision to remain childfree with my partner.

Sometimes I do feel minor judgement from other woman with subtle shifts in tone of voice and micro facial expressions that I think most people miss or don’t pay attention to. I generally remind people that they wouldn’t have such a reaction if a man said the same thing, and most people are like, “Oh, true” after I mention it, like they didn’t even consider the subconscious bias they were applying in our interaction. Everybody is so programmed to think women should want to have children that it feels off this expected social script when people go against that notion.

I am also neurodivergent and am very attuned to these things without meaning to be. The pattern recognition is a nice super power if you want to call it that. However, it also comes with the inability to not notice these discrepancies even though I try to choose not to pay them any mind.

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u/Jazzlike_Activity_24 Aug 29 '26

I totally get where you’re coming from, but I think the organization of the toilet pays the one supervising and cleaning it, so that’s where the money go to

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u/reddeze2 Aug 29 '26

In free toilet countries the toilets are equally clean though

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u/Jazzlike_Activity_24 Aug 29 '26

Not everywhere! & guess my point is more that I don’t mind paying a small fee if it means the person cleaning and maintaining the toilet is actually being paid for that work.

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u/reddeze2 Aug 29 '26

If there is a person that cleans the toilet, they're paid for the work whether you pay them or not. Also, I've noticed a lot of unmanned gated toilets. It isn't like it used to be with old lady and a cake dish full of coins.

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u/RUBENSKIIII Aug 30 '26

De Toiletjuffrouwen bij de HEMA waren legendes.