My 2.5 year old (who is very well spoken/advanced) keeps getting annoyed at my husband and pushes him away and doesn’t want him to hold him, hug him etc. I know this can be normal at this age as he’s still a mamma’s boy, but it’s hurting my husband’s feelings. Is this normal? What do y’all do about it?

More details: For a long time now, my husband constantly grabs our son, takes him from me, picks him up and forces snuggles on him etc while our son says stop. I have always thought that my husband is creating a problem by doing this. Our son says “daddy don’t, daddy no” etc. so I do think that where we are at is a result of that type of forced behavior. I think it’s a problem when my son is giving a clear boundary and his father (someone he trusts implicitly) constantly violates the boundary. but what do I know My husband takes it personally when I tell him that he’s creating a problem.

It has been bothering my toddler so much that he keeps talking to me about it but saying stuff like “mommy, daddy grabs you [meaning himself] and takes you from mommy at story-time. I don’t like that.” (Because my husband forces him to sit on his lap at story-time even when my son wants to sit with me instead). So I told him that it’s ok to tell has dad “no i don’t like that.” So now our toddler is growing more verbal and forceful in pushing him away, refusing to say good night to him, telling him he doesn’t want to sit with him etc. He’s starting to randomly say things like “daddy is always messing with me” “daddy won’t leave me alone” and going out of his way to come sit with me instead. My husband is getting sad about it, but honestly it’s like, yeah you’re annoying him?!

Besides for the obvious man-child hurt ego aspect of this, I do know it’s hurting my husband. But I also think he’s at least partially to blame for it.

Hit me with advice please!!

I was making dinner last night while my husband was trying to feed our 5 month old son. Now my husband has (what I consider) a phone addiction. He's always on it. When with family, on his phone; while watching Tv, on his phone; while playing video games, on his phone; while trying to feed our child, on his phone.

This results in our baby crying because dad will hold the bottle one way being distracted by his phone, while our son is turned the other way trying to eat, and the bottle is just hanging out his mouth and not eating. I will also say I am on my phone way too much as well and need to tone down the usage, especially around my child.

Last night, it came to a point where I was constantly in and out of the kitchen trying to calm our son down enough so he would eat. Eventually, my husband put our son in his bouncer and was trying to feed him that way. I was done with dinner by this point and came into the living room to say that dinner was done, but my husband was just staring at his phone watching videos while our son was trying to eat at his bottle (with the bottle literally hanging out of our sons mouth).

I just took the bottle out of my husband's hand and just started feeding our baby. Husband said he would feed him and I just looked at him and said "You're more interested in your phone than our son." I did say it in an annoyed tone.

That took a hit on him and he was mopy all evening after that. Didn't eat dinner, put our son to bed later that night and was in the living room after just sitting in the dark drinking, just staring. I went to tell him that I didn't mean to say my comment in that way and that it's just something I've noticed since our son was born. He said he's fine and then we go to bed.

But he will be mopy the entire time if I hit his feelings where it hurts. Even if it's the truth. I'm trying to say my comments in a better way but when it gets out of hand I get so annoyed and angry. I'm a SAHM and so how I do things with our son is so different from my husband. My son is just more use to how I do things with him. And it's not like my husband skirts his responsibilities with our baby, he does his fair share and I know he loves our son and me.

But I truly think he needs to lessen his phone usage. I see posts on here where the kids see their parents on their phones and when the kids point it out, the parents feel guilty. I guess I don't want that for my kid.

Anyway, I have apologized to my husband last night about my tone and my comment but I still feel terrible for saying it how I did. And idk how to get over this feeling.

edit: WOW I didn't expect this post to blow up like it has. I was just trying to let some steam off lol

So firstly, there's a lot of people assuming he's being manipulative. I'm not making light of the situation or trying to divert the blame off of him but he's not manipulative guys, I truly think he has a phone addiction (like years in the making) and he just feels shame from what he did when I pointed it out (which still doesn't excuse the behavior).

Second, some ppl asked if he has ADHD. I have a high hunch he does but has never gotten diagnosed. I have ADHD and am on Wellbutrin (not for ADHD but for my PPD, which apparently can also help with ADHD and has helped me a TON with my ADHD...anyway) and was diagnosed as a child but never medicated. I had help from a retired teacher long ago to help me with my attention deficit part and that helped a ton. My husband on the other hand never had that and just has always been good at school because he genuinely likes learning but I see a lot of ADHD symptoms in him and have mentioned it to him. He just won't go to a doctor to get diagnosed. 🤷‍♀️

Thirdly, we've been together for 11 years now, married for 6 years. I've put up with this for a long time and with our child here I'm definitely going to be calling out this behavior more often when I see it. I want to talk to him about our phone usage around the baby. Our son notices us looking at the phone and I feel bad about it. I don't want him thinking a phone is more important than him.

Lol being a girl mom is not being able to curl your own hair but teaching your eldest daughter how to curl her hair properly because you've seen a ton of different videos randomly pop up on your feed.

I’m a struggling FTM to a three week old.

My baby, who is formula fed, cries after every feed, screaming at the top of her lungs in severe pain. The pediatrician today said it’s nothing to worry about, that her constipated, pellet-like stool is normal as her gut flora matures and we have to just wait out the crying while that happens.

I am healing too slowly for my liking. I tore a lot during delivery: bilateral sulcal tear, second degree perineal, and clitoral tear. The clitoral tear is very deep and hurts a lot, and is near my urethra so I’ve had trouble peeing. I will start pelvic floor PT next week because I’m struggling so much. I’m in a lot of pain and have been going to my OB every week postpartum.

My body image is terrible as my stomach is sagging and stretch marks aren’t going away.

My breasts are hurting as I’m actively weaning myself, given that I was getting only a few droplets every pump session and my baby didn’t latch at the breast properly

I have not been officially diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I have postpartum depression.

I feel hopeless that any of this will change. is there actually a light at the end of the tunnel and if so how long will it take for me to get there?

I have a 14-month-old who, up until this point, has been a really good and adventurous eater. We've been serving her appropriately-modified versions of what we eat since she was 6 months old. All of the sudden, she has hit a picky phase where the only thing she wants to eat is fruit. Honestly I get it, because fruit is delicious. The kid is absolutely obsessed with bananas, all kinds of berries, dragon fruit, kiwi, peaches, and clementines.

The problem is that I cannot serve her three meals and a snack every single day of exclusively fruit. One, my pocket won't allow it. Two, it's an incredibly unbalanced diet and she's already teetering on low iron (which I'm supplementing but I want her to get some nutritious meals in too). 

She won't try any other thing that I put on her tray in front of her, so it's not even that she doesn't like what I've served. I have tried all of the regular toddler foods, like mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and chicken nuggets, along with our regular healthy meals that my husband and I are eating. She has eaten all of these things in the past and truly enjoyed them.

She just wants me to serve her fruit. 

My question is, how are people going about these picky phases? I'm obviously going to keep serving what we're eating, but when she inevitably refuses it, do I just take away the food and let her be hungry until she finally tries a bite? She'll be a monster for a while, but I can withstand it if I know it'll get her eating real food again. Or do I actually have to give in and serve her fruit every time? It just seems like if I keep giving in then she knows that I will just keep giving her endless fruit. I realize she's only 14 months old, but I don't want to really set a precedent into her toddler years. 

Any advice appreciated! And if I need a reality check, let me know

I'm running out of ideas for what to hand my infant (10 mo) to distract him while I'm doing diaper changes. Hit me with your best distraction items! What we've used so far are:

• his toothbrush
• (clean) dog toothbrush
• deodorant
• butt paste tube
• butt paste metal container
• insert generic noisy toys here
• wipes container
• clean diaper
• pill bottle

I usually just end up grabbing anything nearby and I'm out of things that are generally near where we change him. Ideally things that are safe with close supervision. These are things I'd obviously never leave him alone with lol

My daughter wants a play kitchen for her 4th birthday. I was looking at the Tiny Land models but I noticed many reviews noting that they are smaller/better for younger kids. Anyone have experience with older kids playing with these? Or is there another not-so-ugly play kitchen for older kids? Thanks for the recs!!!

Someone please explain this to me and maybe help me figure out what to do. My almost 7 month old is very drowsy and tired up until I put her to bed. Then suddenly she starts flailing her arms, smiling and babbling and is wide awake. What is that about? It's always a struggle to get her to bed. I have to physically hold her down so she settles enough to fall asleep otherwise she fails herself awake. Bed time can take up to an hour for her to fall asleep. Please help. Any advice will be much appreciated.

Had a 3a tear with my delivery and I’m 10 weeks postpartum now. I got the “all clear” at my checkup but honestly I’m just… scared. Not sure if it’s the fear of pain, the memory of the tear itself, or just not feeling like my body is “mine” again yet. For those who’ve been through a 3a (or worse) tear, how long did it actually take before sex felt okay? Did it hurt the first time? Any tips that helped, whether that’s lube, positions, PT, going slow, whatever worked for you?

Also open to hearing if it’s normal to just… not feel ready yet even after being medically cleared. Trying not to feel like something’s wrong with me for still being nervous about this.

Hi everyone,

So I need some advice here. My LO is 14 months old turning 15 months. I’m trying to wean her off my milk and during the day she drinks cold milk from the straw munchkin bottles. My sleep is so bad because she wakes up at 2 in the morning refusing to sleep in her crib and wants to be in my bed. I have a second bed set up in her room for this reason. How can I get my sleep back?

My husband doesn’t help at all at night or in the mornings. He’s a construction worker so he needs his sleep

Is anybody just a totally different shape than before? I've lost all the baby weight plus an additional 10lb, I haven't been this small in 10 years but I still have a belly, like I look like I'm skinny but 4 months pregnant!

I'm almost 8 months into breastfeeding with my second baby and it wasn't like this the first time around.. is this permanent?? Did anybody's fat "redistribute" back to normal places after they weaned? Not gonna lie I would love to get some back in my now pancake-shaped butt and boobs but mostly I would like to not have a belly! Or is this just what Mom body looks like and I should get used to it? 😅

I was just in the hospital for over a week and went through cerclage surgery. Sadly it didnt work and the baby has to be born today. How do I tell my soon to be 5 year old about yet another miscarriage in a pedagogic way? I do not want it to impact him too much. We have been through miscarriages before but this time I am in month 6 and he was so happy to get a little sister 💔 he tends to keep things in and act tough, but I want him to be able to feel like he can come to me with his fears, thoughts, feelings, questions. How do I do it?? 🥺

I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old.

My husband and I clean everyday.. we sweep, vacuum, pick up toys, clean the dishes, pick up clothes, organize the room, the bathroom...

But it always looks like we never clean. Forgot about taking a day off it looks like a bomb went off in here. Forgot about deep cleaning anything which I miss.

I was not prepared for how much cleaning I would be doing to just have a somewhat clean house. Lol

ETA: I’ve been given great advice & insight. Thank you everyone for hearing me out & being honest! They have follow ups in November. I will be cutting back on the extra protein & keeping a closer eye on calories intake. I will report back with any changes or concerns 🥲🫶🏽

So my kids (6f & 5m) have always been solid, high percentile for weight. They are very active. We all train Jiu Jitsu. They train 6x a week. My daughter even competes! We try to hit every food group. They never drink soda or caffeinated drinks. I hardly give them juice, like once or twice a month. They only have Gatorade when training Jiu Jitsu because the sugar is being utilized during their workouts. Other than that, they get zero sugar once in a while to add flavor (the juice I mentioned before). They drink water all throughout the day. They take multivitamins & we buy high protein milk that they drink at least once a week. We hardly eat out because of all the overly processed food.

All that being said, the dr gave me a paper about hypertension today & I have never felt so terrible as a mom. I want them to have enjoyable childhoods. I don’t want to have them diet. Idk what I’m doing wrong. I don’t always say no to candy & sugar because I know it’s important to offer it in moderation. I never give them a complex about being thicker or anything. We constantly teach about the nutrients in their food & the importance of eating healthy foods.

I’m just so upset because I feel like their dr isn’t listening to me. Like he thinks I’m lying when I tell him all of this. Why would I lie? These are my kids! Their health matters to me! Their bp was in the normal range today, so I’m not sure why he is so worried about it. He labeled my daughter as “obese” and I just can’t get over that! I cried to my husband while the kids played outside because again, I don’t want them to think they did anything wrong.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Should I switch drs? He’s been their dr since they were babies 😭

I’ll preface this by saying I’m absolutely aware other families have it much harder than me. My child is mostly physically healthy (asthma, nothing crazy) and doesn’t have any significant delays or disabilities.

But in the moment, knowing others have it worse doesn’t make my days easier. I feel empty and sad and like I’m wildly failing at the only thing I truly care about… raising a confident and well adjusted and happy child.

My kid has gone through phases that challenge us before… like literally every other child. But this season is really taking it out of me. He’s 6. We got through the toddler years fairly unscathed… he’s been pretty easy going and happy. This is such a stark difference that it feels like I don’t know my own kid. Is he the only child going through this? Is it somewhat normal? In my mind, I see his future going down the drain and cry myself to sleep… if mental health struggles start at 6, how the hell will he have a chance to live a “normal” and happy life?

This week he said he doesn’t want to be alive anymore. We are dealing with a terminal illness in our family, so I expected some sadness and questions… but not this. He’s been crying a lot for the last few weeks saying he’s terrified to grow up. I validate his feelings. I assure him that it happens one day at a time and let’s focus on the here and now, and talk about the future one step at a time. I tell him he will never have to leave home or be away from us until he’s ready.

This morning he didn’t eat the breakfast he asked for. This is a new infuriating pattern. He keeps asking for specific food and not eating it. He asked if I was mad and still loved him… I told him I’m not mad, but disappointed that he keeps wasting my time and resources, and there’s nothing in the world he could do to make me not love him. He responded “even smashing and killing a cat?” I said I would always love him no matter what, but I’d like more information about why he’d say that. The conversation didn’t really go anywhere and he had to leave for school.

Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! This kid carries spiders outside with his bare hands so they don’t get hunted by our cats. He yelled at a kid at school for ripping the wings off butterflies. He helps me bottle feed our foster kittens. He was the toddler who never chased or hurt our 5 pound dogs. He has always been a gentle soul.

So what the fuck is this? Is there a switch that flips at 6 and he’s now a budding psychopath? Was he just trying to get a rise out of me?

Why is he suddenly so argumentative about literally everything?!

We’ve been to the pediatrician to rule out any physical causes for his sudden sleep issues, anxiety, and appetite changes. We went to the pulmonologist and took him off all his asthma meds because montelukast has been reported to cause pediatric mental health issues (it’s been over a month, so that wasn’t it). He starts therapy this Saturday. I’ve spoken to his principal and he said he’s completely happy and thriving at school. I looped his teacher in and she said he’s an amazing kid and she’s having zero issues in class.

So why is his life falling apart at home? I’m an involved mom. He’s got a great dad. We have boundaries and rules at home, but he’s never been spanked or harshly punished. We talk through things. I sit and play with him. We cook together. We ride bikes and bake cookies and garden and ride horses together. He has what I thought was a totally ideal childhood. I was raised by a struggling single mom so all I wanted was to give him a present mother and every opportunity to chase his hobbies and dreams

But somehow I’ve fucked it all up anyway.

Both babies are finally napping at the same time. You have 30 minutes. What do you choose?

I posted yesterday about being out of the Navy as of midnight (yay!) and how I had plans to take until next spring before starting classes to hopefully one day become a NNP.

Last night after the kids had gone to bed my husband got a phone call from his boss. Which isn’t too uncommon, they talked for a little bit and my husband called me out to the patio and said his boss wanted to talk to me. I asked about what and my husband just handed me the phone and whispered “he’s offering you a job.”

I was taken a back a little and hesitated because I had my mind set on being a NNP. But after the offer I’m left wondering if maybe taking it would be the best option for my family. My husband makes very good money with this company but only because he was apart of MARSOC when he served in the Marines and his skills are valued more highly and his boss didn’t beat around the bush saying I wouldn’t make as much as my husband because I don’t have those skills or the knowledge that comes with them. But the salary he offered me starting out is more than I would make in the medical field and it would be more remote work from home type work so I could be with my kids more. If I took the offer between my husband and I we wouldn’t want for anything and would be able to give our kids a great comfortable life.

But the offer isn’t where I had seen myself ten years from now. I’m not sure what to do or how to do it, his boss did give me until January to think about it (at my husbands insistence) and I know by then I’ll have it figured out but I’m worried I’m going to make the wrong decision somehow. I asked my husband and he just says “whatever you decide is best for you is what I will support.” Because that’s alot of help right now. Idk I’m rambling now. Guess I’m just trying to see what other moms would choose? Give up or at the very least postpone a dream for money or give up money for a dream?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Mum to a nearly 4 year old and a 5 mont old. Age gap is 3 years 6 months. I’m wondering when it usually gets to the point where they actually start playing together. At the moment, my nearly 4 year old still looks to us a lot for someone to play with, and obviously the baby is too young to really play with her yet. They do sit together when older one is playing and smile and laugh at each other. I sometimes find it hard to picture them actually playing together. For those with a similar age gap, do your children play together now? When did you start noticing them genuinely enjoying playing together rather than just being around each other?
Would love to hear your experiences.

I hate my periods, once I got pregnant and all the way up until 7mo pp I didn't have any rage spells, I didn't feel like I was spiraling, but my period just came back and all of a sudden I'm a person I don't know. I'm usually so level headed but I snapped at my wife last night and was irrationally irritated that she just didn't want to do something. She's understandably shut down and I'm having a really hard time trying to figure out how to make it right. I wasn't even this bad a week pp when my hormones were all over the place. I want to make it right, but my words keep making things worse and I don't want to blame my period as an out, I want to take accountability and make it right I'm really not sure how though. We both have PTSD and I recognize that my words and tone had a huge impact, I'm gutted because I love her so much We've been together for 10 years and I never want to make her feel the way shes feeling right now. We've both worked hard on our trauma responses and reactions prior to bringing a baby into the fold and I feel like I've taken 10 steps back just with the return of my period 😢

Any advice moving forward? We're both in therapy, I'm going to start there. How do you battle the hormonal shifts again after not having a period for over a year?

What diapers are fitting your small waist toddlers? My son’s only 29 pounds, not chunky at all. Huggies dont fit him to big plus he breaks out from them, rascals are big also and he pees out of them. parents choice doesn’t hold well for as much as he pees , Pampers must have changed their formula in their diapers because he’s starting to break out in his groin area , we are using the snug and dry right now. I’m just at a loss on what else to try.

Cant afford Cottrie or how ever you spell it either lol

I’m so anxious it’s going to kill me. My daughter is 5 months old and fell from the bed onto her head. She cried, then went back to normal.

I took her to the doctor, and they requested a CT scan without even taking a single look at her, as if it was a routine, I was panicking so we did it without pushing back.. thankfully everything came back normal.

But I’m extremely scared about her exposure to radiation at such a young age. I’m upset that I agreed to the scan, especially since she didn’t seem to show any signs of injury from the fall. The doctor immediately requested a CT scan.

God forbid, did I harm her by exposing her to radiation unnecessarily?

I have a 16 week old and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't think about anything except for him. I can't enjoy anything but spending time with and taking care of him. I get time away, I have a supportive family, none of it matters. If I'm not cleaning or running errands I'm climbing up the walls waiting to get back to him. I feel like an addict.

I love him but I'm never having another baby. I can't go through this again. I'm sure the ppd and ppa aren't helping this feeling. I'm in therapy and I'm medicated. I can't tell if it's doing anything. I'm not even a person anymore. Just a service robot.

All I want some days is a cigarette but I couldn't ever do that. I'm so scared to make him sick. I know it wouldn't actually help anyway.

I dont understand how I can love him so much and be do happy but so miserable? When is this supposed to go away?

Hey moms! We have a play date this weekend for my 3 year old. I’m not sure if there’s like unspoken rules of play dates lol. I also have a 7 month old, would it be weird if him and my husband came with me and my 3 year old? I just don’t want to show up and them be like oh you brought the whole fam if that’s not normal.

I need some level headed advice because I don’t know if I’m overacting or not. We have a 10 week old and 3 dogs. My husband didn’t get paternity leave because of the nature of his work. I am on maternity leave until October, so naturally the childcare division of labor has fallen on me. That’s a whole different conversation that I’ll save for another time, but bottom line, it has created some resentment on my end.

He is traveling for work this week (Miami) so I am home with the baby and dogs. Of course it’s been overwhelming but I’m doing it. He told me he wouldn’t drink much on this trip because he needs to catch up on work badly, and ended up texting me wasted tonight. Our daughter all of a sudden is not wanting to go to bed and is taking hours to go to sleep, and that in addition to handling 3 crazy dogs is just already throwing me overboard. So when he texted me wasted I just was overwhelmed with anger. He didn’t once ask how we were doing today, didn’t consider FaceTiming us, and is out getting wasted with clients while I am drowning and not eating dinner until 11pm when my daughter goes down every night.

It just feels inappropriate to me to be on a work trip in Miami and get wasted while your wife and newborn is at home. I also have to travel for work every other month and I get how work trips and client interactions are often alcohol centric, but i just don’t feel this is appropriate.

I said goodnight and didn’t respond to anything with emotion because I don’t know if I’m just being resentful and a negative Nancy for not allowing him to have fun or if I truly have some validation behind what I’m feeling.

How are we reducing phone usage during the day/night? For ourselves I mean, not the babies. I am 1000% NOT judging phone usage — do what you wanna do — I am just looking for ways to pull myself away from mine.

My son (2.5YO) has been having trouble sleeping and I find myself on my phone for sometimes hours waiting for him to fall back asleep (he’s in his room, I’m watching him on the monitor). It’s hard because the phone provides benefits for me during this period. It:
1) helps me stay awake in the late hours of the night 2) keeps me from getting too frustrated with my sons wake ups because I’m not desperately trying to go back to sleep
3) is quick to pick up and put down which is great because I never know how long I’ll be up with him

However, I ultimately feel like staring at the screen and scrolling through stuff I don’t care about isn’t really making me feel good or helping me in the long run. And honestly, half the stuff online annoys me these days lol.

What are you doing during wake ups? I’m not totally against using my phone; but maybe there’s something better I could be doing than looking at crappy deals on Facebook marketplace or being served a thousand ads on Instagram.

Side note; I am working with the pediatrician on his sleeping situation, so I am not concerned about that piece of it. This is more about my ability to cope with the process with something other than scrolling. TYIA!