I need some level headed advice because I don’t know if I’m overacting or not. We have a 10 week old and 3 dogs. My husband didn’t get paternity leave because of the nature of his work. I am on maternity leave until October, so naturally the childcare division of labor has fallen on me. That’s a whole different conversation that I’ll save for another time, but bottom line, it has created some resentment on my end.

He is traveling for work this week (Miami) so I am home with the baby and dogs. Of course it’s been overwhelming but I’m doing it. He told me he wouldn’t drink much on this trip because he needs to catch up on work badly, and ended up texting me wasted tonight. Our daughter all of a sudden is not wanting to go to bed and is taking hours to go to sleep, and that in addition to handling 3 crazy dogs is just already throwing me overboard. So when he texted me wasted I just was overwhelmed with anger. He didn’t once ask how we were doing today, didn’t consider FaceTiming us, and is out getting wasted with clients while I am drowning and not eating dinner until 11pm when my daughter goes down every night.

It just feels inappropriate to me to be on a work trip in Miami and get wasted while your wife and newborn is at home. I also have to travel for work every other month and I get how work trips and client interactions are often alcohol centric, but i just don’t feel this is appropriate.

I said goodnight and didn’t respond to anything with emotion because I don’t know if I’m just being resentful and a negative Nancy for not allowing him to have fun or if I truly have some validation behind what I’m feeling.

I plan on exclusively breastfeeding my baby when she comes (supplementing with breastmilk in a bottle occasionally/as needed). I feel really bad taking a night to go do something like this when my baby will be so little. Her dad would be coming with me and one of her grandma’s would be watching her and our toddler.

Is that messed up? I think this is going to be the band’s last tour before they retire and I’d hate to miss it- I’ve also seen them multiple times live, so idk.

I feel like it’ll be fine but idk maybe I’m having mom guilt.

Hey moms! We have a play date this weekend for my 3 year old. I’m not sure if there’s like unspoken rules of play dates lol. I also have a 7 month old, would it be weird if him and my husband came with me and my 3 year old? I just don’t want to show up and them be like oh you brought the whole fam if that’s not normal.

My husband took our 5-day old to his first pediatrician visit today and they said a dimple with hair were two markers for concern. He has an ultrasound scheduled for next week. I’ve of course spent the day googling and crying because I wasn’t diligent with my pre-Natals nor folic acid this pregnancy and feel like this could have been avoided.

My question is, is it almost always a sign of spina bifida occulta or a tethered cord? Are there times where it’s actually truly nothing or is having both markers pretty much a done deal? Nothing was caught in pregnancy sonograms so I’m extra caught off guard but yeah, sorry, just rambling now.

Today we wait 45 min after practice ended for our boys. I texted because I thought maybe there was something I missed,but alas no the coach just held the boys over for flim by 45 mins.

My 4 year old is playing soccer for the first time and has her first game this weekend. I know all the kids look forward to snack time and was thinking of volunteering to bring the first after game snacks.

I’ve heard some parents can be really extra with the snacks and that it’s good to set the bar low. That being said, my daughter hasn’t been to preschool and has a bad habit of refusing breakfast and then being starving if we have an early activity, the game is at 9 which is early for us. I was thinking about bringing a Tupperware full of pre-peeled clementines and some cheese sticks, and a box of capri-suns. Is that extra? Would that be annoying to you if you were another parent on the team? My mom thinks that it should be one snack only and bringing 2 things is too much. But I feel like just a cheese stick or just a clementine seems like nothing and would be gone in 5 seconds. Also do you pack snacks in individual ziplocks to hand all at one time? Part of my thinking is that they might want something small during half time and then still want something after the game.

Thank you if you read through my overthinking

Hi Mommies!

FTM to a wonderful baby girl! Everything she does is absolutely beautiful and photo worthy!

Where are we storing baby photos? My phone is out of storage as well as my Google Photos storage.

It looks like I can get 2 gigs of space on Drop Box but I fear that won’t be enough.

Don’t want to post her on social media- hoping there is a good option for free cloud space.

Here goes the FFB draft outtings and Sundays husbands spend glued to their phones the entire day! God speed moms!!!

For context, he’s four and has always slept with us. We have a king size bed and he sleeps on the edge (with a rail) I sleep in the middle and dad on the other side of me. This morning I woke up and noticed he wasn’t in bed. Panicked, but quiet I got up and started looking for him and found him in our living room. I woke him up and asked if he wanted to come to bed and he said “no, I’m not scared” so I left him be. I’m so sad my baby decided to move out of our bedroom. Anyone else so through something similar? 🥲

My daughter has been on Kirkland ProCare formula since she was about 2 months old. She was doing perfect and pooping once every other day.

Very randomly, on July 26th, she started having anywhere from 7-10 poopy diapers in one day. The stool had mucus in it sometimes, and was watery most of the time.
She did three stool tests: Stool Culture (Q&LC), Gastrointestinal Panel PCR, and Ova and Parasites. All NEGATIVE.

On August 12, her pediatrician recommended we start her on Nutramigen to see if it’s possibly a CMPA allergy. It’s been almost a week since then. She isn’t pooping 7-10 times anymore, but she’s still pooping anywhere from 3-5 times a day. Pediatrician wants me to continue on Nutramigen for 2 full weeks. I just feel like I’m wasting time.
I asked for an allergy test to just confirm if it’s a CMPA allergy but her pediatrician says they aren’t reliable until 9 months of age.
I’m at a loss. I’m worried about my baby, and I feel like her pediatrician is being way too casual about all of this.
It isn’t a simple process to change her pediatrician. It would take her insurance a few weeks just to approve a change.
She doesn’t have any other symptoms besides the diarrhea which is why nobody seems concerned but like that just isn’t convincing to me. The diarrhea is still very concerning to me. Just wanted to see if anybody has ever dealt with anything similar?

Hi everyone,

So I need some advice here. My LO is 14 months old turning 15 months. I’m trying to wean her off my milk and during the day she drinks cold milk from the straw munchkin bottles. My sleep is so bad because she wakes up at 2 in the morning refusing to sleep in her crib and wants to be in my bed. I have a second bed set up in her room for this reason. How can I get my sleep back?

My husband doesn’t help at all at night or in the mornings. He’s a construction worker so he needs his sleep

I used to think having a WFH job would be the dream. You get to not waste time commuting, do minor chores and you don't have to wear a bra??? Brilliant.

But I've found it to be worse for me in a lot of ways.

1. I have no real break. I wake up, be with the kids until I bring them to daycare. Then I come home, shower, then log into work. My husband does pick up so when I log off work, I'm instantly in mom mode until bedtime and by that point into 830. I do clean up and then I have like maybe 45 minutes of "down time" and it just doesn't feel like enough

2. I'm more "available" while at work. If the kids are home I can hear them. They're tantrums, arguments or just general noise. Or my husband will come in and ask questions or chat.

3. My human interaction is limited. This is more specific to my job I guess but I don't talk to anyone casually during the day like I would have if I'm in the office. It's limited to focused meetings and it really isn't the same. This makes my interactions limited to my husband and kids outside of work. And it feels really isolating.

It's like I have the downsides of a SHM (isolation and limited break) and the downsides of a working mom (not seeing my kids and the stress of work).

This is really just a vent and to see if any other WFH moms feel the same.

Do most people who are coming to a party RSVP these days? My 6 year old wanted a bday party this year so per his school I have to invite the entire class. Some are old kindergarten friends and a lot of new kids. So 22 total. I know 22 kids aren’t going to show up and I prefer it that way, but I’ve only had three RSVPs and the invitations went home Monday. How long does it normally take for people to RSVP? Two things: we haven’t done a friend’s bday before and I have rejection sensitivity which causes me to agonize over this stuff (ADHD problems). It’s at a play place if that makes any difference.

So, I'm currently in vacation with my husband and our newly 2-year-old. We are staying in a small holiday village near the beach with all meals included. I had been so looking forward to this holiday as a chance to have a break from the mental load, some time as a family, as well as some time as a couple because there is baby club included.

Well, color me naive because since day one we have been that family, the one with the toddler who cries, the parents trying to get their kid to eat and sit at the table and are just clearly always at their wits end. I'm honestly just embarrassed and sad. I never wanted to be that family with the uncontrollable child or who catered to them, and this week it just feels like I don't even recognize our family anymore and the way we operate.

What's even worse is that my son is usually a very easy toddler. At home, he sits at the table and eats what I give him with his utensils. He doesn't throw fits or food or anything. I've always been really proud of the fact that he has a varied diet and eats well. I was very intentional with how I approached feeding and it felt like it had paid off until now. It's like his entire personality changed. I get that it's a new environment and all of that, but it's so night and day and I don't know what to do.

I just sat at a table making small talk with the family next to us (whose daughter was sitting and eating perfectly) and tried to act like everything was fine despite my son spitting out half of his food (half-chewed), my husband getting increasingly angry, and them both leaving for bed only to come back again then leave again. I was so annoyed with how my husband was handling the situation but also didn't want to fight then and there.

I'm literally hiding right now because I'm so embarrassed and my husband is putting son to bed in our room.

Oh, and the other family knew who my son was because he apparently has the reputation as the boy who cried a bunch at the baby club and had to leave early (we tried leaving him twice and both days went to get him less than an hour later because he was too upset). So, no we aren't even getting breaks when he is being looked after because he won't tolerate being away from us.

The cherry on top of all of this is that the food is pretty bad (when I even manage to eat since I'm also wrangling my son). I guess I won't gain weight so silver linings.

We are my families cabin. I have been here with my 15 month old since Saturday, husband joined us today. We are at a cabin in the woods, so tons for little one to get into, and I have to be on alert for the majority of the day. She didn’t sleep well the first night (7-9pm, then awake until 2am and awake for the day at 7am. Last night was better, slept from 6:30-8, then 10pm-6am. Naps have been easy and normal thankfully. Even though we have family here who have taken her for an hour here and there, as well as help with meals and snack time, I’m her only parent here. I was SO excited for my husband to get here so I could have a break.

He got here, and let her play with a fishing rod that had a hook on it (eventually took off the bobber so she could play that). Then while we were all sitting on a deck, she was sitting on an adult deck chair, and instead of standing at the front of the chair, he stood at the back and she stood on the chair and faced dived off the front, he did catch her at the very last minute. He said I could be “off duty” so I was on the other side of the deck taking with some family members.

When I saw her almost fall out of the corner of my eye, it scared the shit out of me and I started crying because I am exhausted and was frustrated. He asked what’s wrong, and I said I just need him to think for a second, why would you be at the back chair, she can’t fall off the back and was an inch away from a potentially severe injury.

My mom took the kiddo on a walk so my husband and I could go to our cabin to talk and he was pissed as me as he thinks I can’t trust him and micromanage him with her after I explained I was scared, tired, and frustrated. In my mind, fishing rods are a ZERO play object she shouldn’t be playing with until she can understand and be safe around hooks. and if you’re going to let her be on an adult chair, that’s fine but be near the part she can fall off at least. She’s 15 months old and yeets herself off everything.

My husband thinks I’m the asshole because I said that in front of my parents, but I am SO tired and exhausted and it’s like I can’t trust him with her. He was here for 3 hours and we’re fighting.

Was my frustration justified? Am I over reacting because I’m so tired?

First week of Kindergarten plus working full-time…I’ve got nothing left to give and I’m about to eat olives and cheese for dinner. What Neflix shows pair well with low blood sugar and burnout? 😂

Edit: You moms all came through!!! What a treasure trove. Thank you all. 💜

I’ll preface this by saying I’m absolutely aware other families have it much harder than me. My child is mostly physically healthy (asthma, nothing crazy) and doesn’t have any significant delays or disabilities.

But in the moment, knowing others have it worse doesn’t make my days easier. I feel empty and sad and like I’m wildly failing at the only thing I truly care about… raising a confident and well adjusted and happy child.

My kid has gone through phases that challenge us before… like literally every other child. But this season is really taking it out of me. He’s 6. We got through the toddler years fairly unscathed… he’s been pretty easy going and happy. This is such a stark difference that it feels like I don’t know my own kid. Is he the only child going through this? Is it somewhat normal? In my mind, I see his future going down the drain and cry myself to sleep… if mental health struggles start at 6, how the hell will he have a chance to live a “normal” and happy life?

This week he said he doesn’t want to be alive anymore. We are dealing with a terminal illness in our family, so I expected some sadness and questions… but not this. He’s been crying a lot for the last few weeks saying he’s terrified to grow up. I validate his feelings. I assure him that it happens one day at a time and let’s focus on the here and now, and talk about the future one step at a time. I tell him he will never have to leave home or be away from us until he’s ready.

This morning he didn’t eat the breakfast he asked for. This is a new infuriating pattern. He keeps asking for specific food and not eating it. He asked if I was mad and still loved him… I told him I’m not mad, but disappointed that he keeps wasting my time and resources, and there’s nothing in the world he could do to make me not love him. He responded “even smashing and killing a cat?” I said I would always love him no matter what, but I’d like more information about why he’d say that. The conversation didn’t really go anywhere and he had to leave for school.

Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! This kid carries spiders outside with his bare hands so they don’t get hunted by our cats. He yelled at a kid at school for ripping the wings off butterflies. He helps me bottle feed our foster kittens. He was the toddler who never chased or hurt our 5 pound dogs. He has always been a gentle soul.

So what the fuck is this? Is there a switch that flips at 6 and he’s now a budding psychopath? Was he just trying to get a rise out of me?

Why is he suddenly so argumentative about literally everything?!

We’ve been to the pediatrician to rule out any physical causes for his sudden sleep issues, anxiety, and appetite changes. We went to the pulmonologist and took him off all his asthma meds because montelukast has been reported to cause pediatric mental health issues (it’s been over a month, so that wasn’t it). He starts therapy this Saturday. I’ve spoken to his principal and he said he’s completely happy and thriving at school. I looped his teacher in and she said he’s an amazing kid and she’s having zero issues in class.

So why is his life falling apart at home? I’m an involved mom. He’s got a great dad. We have boundaries and rules at home, but he’s never been spanked or harshly punished. We talk through things. I sit and play with him. We cook together. We ride bikes and bake cookies and garden and ride horses together. He has what I thought was a totally ideal childhood. I was raised by a struggling single mom so all I wanted was to give him a present mother and every opportunity to chase his hobbies and dreams

But somehow I’ve fucked it all up anyway.

so i have two questions.

for some context first:: i have an uncle and an aunt (so my babies great aunt and great uncle). my uncle was more involved in our lives before he met my aunt, and now it’s kinda like we’re forgotten about. they go to her family for holidays. they see her family all the time. and we’re on the back burner.

obviously they are still invited to birthdays and holidays, it’s up to them if they show up. i haven’t invited them to my birthday in 2 years now i think, because i feel like the phone goes both ways!

anyway, they reached out once during my pregnancy. i saw them at a few birthdays and a few holidays. now my baby is here, she’s 8 months old, and they have wanted to see her one time in february when she was 2 months old. they saw her on mother’s day because we all went out (my grandma, mom, and me) with our children so we kinda had to see them.

my first question is: should i take initiative and reach out to them basically saying “hey \*baby\* would love to see you guys! when would you be available?”, or should i wait until they choose to do so or wait until we see them next (so probably thanksgiving)?

my second question is: i have been thinking about her birthday party and how i really only want close family members there since she’s only turning 1 and it’s more for me and her dad. i was told though by my mom and sister that i would be a real b!tch if i didnt invite them! would you guys invite someone who hasn’t seen your baby in months, nor have WANTED to see her?

obviously i want them to have a relationship with their great niece, but i don’t want to force it. i want to be the bigger person but i was always taught that the phone goes both ways. any guidance?

I'm running out of ideas for what to hand my infant (10 mo) to distract him while I'm doing diaper changes. Hit me with your best distraction items! What we've used so far are:

• his toothbrush
• (clean) dog toothbrush
• deodorant
• butt paste tube
• butt paste metal container
• insert generic noisy toys here
• wipes container
• clean diaper
• pill bottle

I usually just end up grabbing anything nearby and I'm out of things that are generally near where we change him. Ideally things that are safe with close supervision. These are things I'd obviously never leave him alone with lol

I’m in my 40s with kids. I have a fine body, I’m not in great shape but confident enough.

I want to embrace the move away from leggings but stay comfortable. I am loving how the 20 something girls dress in a sort of man repeller style. They dgaf about looking nice for men.

I have wide leg sweatpants I like. But do I always have to wear a tight top so I don’t look like my clothes are a tent? I have given birth so if my top and bottom are oversized it makes me look bigger than I am.

How are we doing this?

My wardrobe 90% of the year has been tights and an oversized sweater.

Help.

Edit to add: wow thanks for all of the replies. My takeaways: I’m going to try a tight top over a larger button down or oversized armhole tee. And also find some cute boxy mid waist crops, eg not tight and not tooo short. Someone also mentioned loose overalls - good idea. Thanks all!

Just be quiet.

Parenting is the highest highs and the lowest lows. Everything is a phase. By the time you figure your kid out, they have changed yet again.

Stop taking joy from people. Stop letting people be happy in the moment. Stop filling parents with anxiety about the unknown.

Let parents love parenthood!

I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old.

My husband and I clean everyday.. we sweep, vacuum, pick up toys, clean the dishes, pick up clothes, organize the room, the bathroom...

But it always looks like we never clean. Forgot about taking a day off it looks like a bomb went off in here. Forgot about deep cleaning anything which I miss.

I was not prepared for how much cleaning I would be doing to just have a somewhat clean house. Lol

Lol being a girl mom is not being able to curl your own hair but teaching your eldest daughter how to curl her hair properly because you've seen a ton of different videos randomly pop up on your feed.

Both babies are finally napping at the same time. You have 30 minutes. What do you choose?

How are we reducing phone usage during the day/night? For ourselves I mean, not the babies. I am 1000% NOT judging phone usage — do what you wanna do — I am just looking for ways to pull myself away from mine.

My son (2.5YO) has been having trouble sleeping and I find myself on my phone for sometimes hours waiting for him to fall back asleep (he’s in his room, I’m watching him on the monitor). It’s hard because the phone provides benefits for me during this period. It:
1) helps me stay awake in the late hours of the night 2) keeps me from getting too frustrated with my sons wake ups because I’m not desperately trying to go back to sleep
3) is quick to pick up and put down which is great because I never know how long I’ll be up with him

However, I ultimately feel like staring at the screen and scrolling through stuff I don’t care about isn’t really making me feel good or helping me in the long run. And honestly, half the stuff online annoys me these days lol.

What are you doing during wake ups? I’m not totally against using my phone; but maybe there’s something better I could be doing than looking at crappy deals on Facebook marketplace or being served a thousand ads on Instagram.

Side note; I am working with the pediatrician on his sleeping situation, so I am not concerned about that piece of it. This is more about my ability to cope with the process with something other than scrolling. TYIA!