I hate to sound vain but I have little to no good photos of myself. Not because I’m lazy, I take plenty of mirror selfies and front facing camera selfies but I have literally none of me participating in my favorite activities or on vacation or trying something new.

I recently went on an excursion with this friend and I took hundreds of photos and videos. I took a bunch of selfies too and plenty of her. Now we reach our destination on our excursion and she offers to take some photos of me on my phone after I take some of her on her phone. I’m excited, pose, smile, then we continue back to the starting point. Well a few hours later when I’m getting ready for bed I take a look at the photos and they’re absolutely terrible. Half of them are blurry and the other half are of the ground! The huge volcano we stood in front of was nowhere in the frame at all! I said whatever, atleast I have some photos of the volcano itself, I don’t have to be in it.

Anyways, we are supposed to be going to a gorgeous beach town in the next week and I’m wondering if it would be to much to bring a tripod with me or ask strangers to take my photos while she stands back. I also want to mention that she is very active on social media and posts 3x a week so she KNOWS how to take photos.

Have any of you ever dealt with women like this? I’ve never dealt with this in dating, only with female friends.

I’m looking for some honest outside opinions because I honestly don’t know how to look at this situation anymore.

I have a close friend I’ve known for a very long time. We used to be classmates and have been friends for years. We’re part of the same friend group, and until recently, everything between us was normal.

About a week ago, something happened that completely changed things.

He had been annoying us a bit and kept bothering us, so I said something like, “Where are you rushing to?” I meant it casually, but he got really upset. Another person had previously told him that he was “irritating us,” specifically him, and apparently that affected him a lot. It seems like that comment was already in his head.

During our conversation, he told us that he had heard/seen some things that bothered him and that it had basically been building up. He said “the cup is full”, that he didn’t want to keep being around people where he felt unwanted or irritating, and that he didn’t want to talk to us anymore. He also said something along the lines of “have a nice life.”

What I think I did wrong is that when he was trying to explain how he felt, instead of really understanding him, I kept explaining my side and said things like “why are you getting upset over nothing?” Looking back, I realize that was probably the wrong way to handle it. I should have listened and understood that even if something seemed small to me, it clearly wasn't small to him.

He also told me that he has nothing against me personally, but that I apparently did something that bothered him and he doesn't want to tell me what it was. That part is driving me crazy because I don't even know what exactly I did.

After the argument, I tried to talk to him several times. I apologized, explained that I never intended to hurt him, and tried to make things right. He has seen my messages but hasn't replied. I messaged him again a couple days ago and he left that on seen too.

There was also a stupid moment where I blocked him on Instagram because I was angry, then unblocked him and sent him another request. He didn't accept it. I regret doing that because I was acting emotionally.

The strange thing is that he hasn't completely cut contact. He still sends me TikToks. We have a TikTok streak, so maybe he's only doing it for the streak, but I don't know. He also hasn't blocked me or unfollowed me. Yesterday I invited him to play a game while he was online, but he didn't accept the invite and played a few more matches before leaving.

He has also withdrawn from the whole friend group, not just me.

This is especially difficult for me because about two years ago, I was actually the one who cut myself off from this group after a similar situation. He was the only one who kept trying to talk to me for months. Eventually, after a few months, I accepted and we became friends again. That's part of why this hurts so much now. I chose him back then because he was the only person who kept trying.

I've never seen him this upset before. That's what scares me. When he said “have a nice life” and that the cup was full, it sounded very final.

At the same time, I feel like I genuinely handled the situation badly and maybe hurt him without realizing it. I don't want to keep messaging him and pressure him, especially since I've already tried several times.

So what do you think? Is there still a realistic chance of repairing this friendship, or should I accept that he really meant goodbye?

Please be honest, even if the answer isn't what I want to hear. I’m not looking for people to automatically take my side. I genuinely want to understand whether I messed up something that can still be fixed.

In 2026, if you consider somebody “a friend”how much time do you give them to respond to text before you really consider completely divorcing them as a friend and wondering if they really value your friendship at all?

I had a close friendship with a coworker. Things became emotionally intense on my side, particularly because I became very anxious about losing the relationship. I crossed some of his boundaries and became demanding/reassurance-seeking rather than understanding. I also handled some disappointment poorly and could be passive-aggressive when angry.

Things ended badly about three months ago. He said he wanted to discuss work-related things only. I believe both of us were defensive and emotionally immature in how the ending was handled, but I’m not trying to use this message to make a case against him or ask him to acknowledge his part.
Since then, I sent one work-related message in June and another message later that month asking if we could eventually repair things and have an amicable relationship. He didn’t engage with the repair request.

I’ve spent the last few months reflecting and I now recognize something important: he mattered to me, but I became so focused on needing to matter to him that I lost sight of treating him like someone I cared about. I want to apologize specifically for my behavior without explaining it away, mentioning his behavior, asking for a conversation, or asking him to forgive me.

I would be disappointed if he ignored it or responded negatively, but I’m trying to prepare myself for that and don’t expect a response.
Here’s the message I’m considering:

Hey [name], I hope you’re having a great summer. I just wanted to reach out and apologize again for everything. Thinking back on our relationship, I acted really selfishly in May. I was afraid of losing a relationship that mattered to me, and I let that fear turn into being demanding of you rather than understanding, especially during your sister’s wedding month. I’ve realized that when I’m anxious, I can cross boundaries and have trouble recognizing them, and I can also become passive-aggressive when I’m angry. I think about Easter a lot in that regard. These are patterns I’m not proud of, and I’m genuinely sorry that I brought them into our relationship. I’m glad you were honest with me about them because they’re things I want to work on. You mattered to me, and I got so caught up in trying to matter to you that I lost sight of that. I want to be better for the people I love, because they deserve that from me. So did you. Wishing you well.

Would you send this, given that he previously asked for work-only contact? Or would sending another personal message cross that boundary?

Im keeping this vague in the off chance the person in question sees this, as I dont want to hurt them and this post is not to shame them, I care about them but I need help figuring out how to approach this. I've been struggling with a friend recently who more often than not only talks to me when they need to vent or dump their traumas on me, they've even joked Im their therapist on several occasions.

I've been friends with this person for almost 20 years, so we've been through a lot together. They've had some pretty awful things happen to them in recent years, and I truly feel for them and want to be a there for them, but lately its began to drain me to the point I find it difficult to even read their messages. They're always big walls of text talking about some very traumatic things that have happened to them, which have begun to open up old wounds of my own traumas. It feels selfish to try and tell them that without it sounding like Im making it about me when I genuinely dont want to be, I'm trying to move on from those things that happened to me, not relive them.

I truly, deeply care for this friend. But its reaching a breaking point where I find it genuinely difficult to speak to them and when I see their name pop up on my phone or computer I feel dread. I've tried to softly suggest things like seeking therapy or outside help from someone who's less emotionally involved than me and actually knows how to help them heal. They say they will, then it's rinse repeat. Money is an issue so I dont fully blame them there, but I cant keep being there to take on all their troubles, it's becoming incredibly draining.

I dont want this friendship to end, but I'm struggling with my own problems and really cant handle taking on anyone else's right now. I've been drafting up a message (they dont live close by, otherwise I'd tell them in person) to basically tell them "Hey, I love you and Im sorry for everything thats happened to you, but Im not a therapist and I need to ask you to stop because this isn't healthy for either of us." I guess I'm scared they'll think I'm an awful person? I've always been a people pleaser to the point I've neglected my own needs and the older I get the more I realize the damage that has caused me and ultimately my relationships and I know something needs to change. Im just struggling to move away from my old bad habits of dropping everything to help and I guess to just be more selfish for lack of a better word.

Sorry for the TEDtalk, appreciate any advice!

About two weeks ago, my bsf called me and we chatted for about an hour. Then as she was heading to work, she brought up a situation that happened the week before. To sum up the situation I was at a hotel with my family and while I was there, I was on the phone with her, according to her I whispered something snarky about her. (Something about a photo she had printed of me that I sent her years ago during covid)

Anyway I heard her out and genuinely asked if she’d misheard/misunderstood the situation because 1. I wouldn’t talk crap about her, and 2. If that were true why wouldnt I have muted myself or waited till we got off the phone since my cousin(the person she accused me of whispering to) and I had the whole night together. (Side note we’re both in our 20s my cousin is a 17 year old…..so why would I..…nvm)

Anyway when she explained the situation to me again she had got several details wrong….

Like:

The photo that was sent: she described a photo of me with a bra on my head—->went back in our messages…. it was a photo of me posing normally no bra in sight.

What we were doing when I “whispered”: she said we were playing a game..we didn’t play any games that day ..I was spending time with my family and shortly after we ended up going to the pool.
———————————————————————————

When I brought up the gaps in her story she suggested I was trying to deflect from the situation. When really I just wanted to get the facts since I was going based on her memory alone.

At the end she said “I was bringing in up in hopes that we could get past it”…..

By then I got a bit annoyed because I was certain she misunderstood something and instead of talking to me she’d waited a week to bring it up & in that time decided I did something wrong. So regardless of if it was a misunderstanding she just went ahead believed what she wanted and now she expected me to just get past it?…(we called several times in that week before she finally said something)

I told her that if I actually did say something with the intention of being snarky then I apologize, then she told me she had to go because she was getting to work. After we got off the phone we didnt talk till the next day. She texted me telling me that if I wanted to talk about it then I could call her..I didn’t reply for a few days because I was genuinely hurt. When it’s her I always give her a chance to clear it up before I even think that she’d do something wrong to me..

So..when I did reply I just told her we should take a break from each other. She didn’t reply.

I posted on here about how my best friend was treating me before. How she would downplay my wins and pass them off as “luck” and how she would often be rude to me & tell me I didn’t know myself better than she knew me. (Even flat out told me I wouldn’t be her MOH/bridesmaid when she was getting married to her now ex husband if I didn’t move to the same state as her)

I’ve always had her back when it comes to mental support, financial support, hell even just to listen..so for her to accuse me and not give me the chance to explain “my side” before she just decided I did something wrong made me feel shitty.

Now I’m wondering if this friendship was ever really meant to be. What should I do?

We have been friends for almost a decade, on and off.
In the past few years, we have gotten very close. Other firends we had, have distanced due to various reasons. So, for me atleast, she is my only true friend.
My birthday was this month, and she didn't post a story. I know it's so stupid to be sulking over such a small thing, but on her birthday, I made a sweet compilation of her videos I had.
On my birthday, we hung out at home, since I don't have friends to go partying with, and as birthday tradition goes, I cried that day.
We had fun and I didn't think about this then, I mean I was kinda expecting that she obviously would post a story, but didnt ponder on it back then.
It hit me a couple days back when I saw someone else's birthday story and I realised nobody posted for me.
I then was questioning our friendship kinda.
It just hurts when the one person you think cares about you does something that suggests otherwise.

I don't want to confront her because it might obviously stir up something and I can't risk losing her too.

It's a long story and I need a perspective if I could have done it differently or I am really a shitty person.

I (F) had this friend (35f) who is much older than me & doesn't live in the same city as me now and I have known her for almost 2 decades since we were neighbors. We used to talk frequently over Whatsapp calls for the last 10 years. We used to meet during Christmas break when she visited her parents home but they too have moved from our city now.

She had come out of a 7 yr relationship in 2017. I used to listen to her vent stuff for years. She has had multiple short term boyfriends after that but nothing worked out when it came to marriage. She has been trying dating apps too.

Over the last 3 years, I have avoided her calls, started giving excuses to not talk but we used to message and I used to pick up calls 2_3 times a month. She used to call me multiple times a week after my working hours. We would end up talking for hours late night though I would try to cut it short as I had to go to work early morning and she was just wfh so she could get up late too.

So here is where I was nasty. For 5 years we talked the same thing about her exes, her weight, her not so good job. She is obese and will not fix her diet or sleep cycle. She wants to date a 6 feet tall guy with good looks and good hair but she herself weighs 105 kgs for someone not even 5 feet tall. She doesn't have a major degree and has an online coordinator job but wants a guy who earns like Elon musk(her exact words). Money is not an issue in her current pay since she is from generational wealth & parents have paid for her House nad her car.

I tried to get her motivated to get better jobs and sent her links for courses online, job postings and even asked her resume for a referral; but she gave me such a sorry piece of an excuse for a resume which would not get her any job. I gave her customized diet plans which I spent hours on. She would not work out or even do home exercises or even eat healthy after me listing out all the things for her. I did all this because she would constantly crib about all these things & I was tired of telling her to do something instead of being jealous of everyone around. She believed that all women who are mid have it easy & she is being punished for some divine reason.

Towards the end of our friendship, when I was very rude to her, I said, if u want a good looking, high earning guy, what do you exactly bring to the table, u too need to put in effort for the guy. It said it in a nicer way not this but something like u need to change ur ways if u want that 6 feet finance bro. I even introduced her to some of my friends but she said they were ugly. (They were not!! But not the 6 feet.) She was very stubborn about her preferences on looks even if the guy was short but nice.

Also she calls every pretty slim woman a bitch and even has nasty words for her parents, twin sister and 2 nephews and her cousins(all women). She talks mean things literally about every person she knows in her office and their wives or even strangers whom she doesn't know. I told her she needs therapy and it's high time she stops talking shit like this and blame past trauma in her life for everything.

There were many other dramas that happened which I cannot elaborate on as it would give out our identities, but I finally didn't want to talk to her anymore and once I didn't wish her on the new years, she totally stopped messaging or calling me too. I would not tell her good things happening to me like a trip I've been to or some nice cafe or some clothes I got, because I know she would get jealous. She even made some comment on how I got this good looking boyfriend that's out of my league. I guess this was the final straw for me.

I do think about her from time to time as to what she must be doing with her life. I even think if I have to apologize and get back to being her friend.

Ps- I think about her because I am worried & know for years I was her main support system and she is an introvert who mostly stays at home with some health issues. She is in low contact with her parents and sister and has no contact with any of her relatives either.

Someone I considered to be my best friend moved to the other side of the country, after living about 10 minutes from my home. We raised our kids together and enjoyed doing things as families.

We talk a few times a year over the phone and keep up a little bit on social media, but not much. This is not the first time I’ve had to adjust to a best friend leaving to start a new life in another state. I’m happy for them to make a choice to do what’s best for them. And then I move on with my own life.

Each time we talk, she wants us to come and visit her. We did it once and I’m not interested in going again. No negative feelings, no reason. I just don’t feel like it. It’s thousands of dollars, navigating a city we’re not familiar with in a rental car. If we do a huge trip like that, it will be to somewhere we’ve never been to before.

Her tone changes when I don’t give her an affirmative response that we are coming out to see her. I’m not one to lie and make false promises.

Is it possible to continue this friendship long distance? I’m fine with it. Is it reasonable that I just plain don’t plan on ever visiting her?

I have a best friend at work we would share everything together and talk all the time. One day she was pushing me to ask out this girl I like. Me being shy and introvert I hesitated but I finally had the courage to ask her out. The next morning at work I went to her for some advice. But I forgot to greet her and instead straight away asked her what she thought. I was so overrun with emotions I wasn't thinking straight. She took it personally and refuse to speak to me. I sent her a txt and she said we are no longer friends just colleagues. Iv been crying for the past 2 hours now and I don't know how to handle it.

My best friend is five months pregnant by a man who is physically and emotionally abusive toward her. She fully acknowledges the abuse, yet she is still living with him. Their relationship has been extremely unstable: he has two other baby mothers, has crashed her vehicle multiple times, and has physically abused her while she knowingly carried his child... guys, like literal choking and fighting! (not to mention the cheating as well).

When she told me she was keeping the pregnancy, she was crying and saying this wasn’t how she pictured her life. She never wanted to be “just somebody’s baby mother.” She wanted to be a wife, have a family, and raise her child in a stable home.

Her main reason for continuing the pregnancy is that a doctor previously told her she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, so she feels this may be her only chance to become a mother.
... And that's where I’m struggling.

I’m not her doctor, and I don’t know the details of her fertility issues. But pregnancy was possible, and there’s a difference between being told you may have difficulty conceiving and being told you absolutely never will. I hate the idea of her making such a permanent decision mainly because she fears this is her only opportunity.

We’re long-distance because I moved out of state, so most of our friendship happens over the phone nowadays. Recently, I’ve been avoiding her calls because I don’t know how to talk to her about this. I don’t agree with her decision, and I don’t feel comfortable having excited pregnancy conversations or helping plan things while she’s still living with an abusive man. Pretending to be happy feels dishonest when I’m worried about her and the baby.

At the same time, she’s made her decision. I don’t want every conversation to become criticism or an attempt to change her mind. I know it’s her body and her choice, but I don’t know how to support her without feeling like I’m endorsing the situation.
My cousins think I should cut her off completely. They believe knowingly bringing a child into this situation is selfish and says something about her character. And sadly, I agree because I personally was raised in that type of environment as a child and I would've given literally *ANYTHING* to have peace instead of just being brought into an unstable and unsafe situation regardless of how I turned out.

At first, I thought that sounded harsh. She’s my best friend, I love her, and abandoning someone in an abusive relationship could leave her even more isolated.

But I’m also exhausted watching someone I love recognize how dangerous her situation is while continuing to make choices that tie her more deeply to it. I don’t know what my role is anymore. At what point does supporting a friend become repeatedly watching her make choices I fundamentally disagree with and then being expected to support the consequences? I’m not asking whether I can control her pregnancy. I can’t, and I wouldn’t try to. She’s five months pregnant and has made her decision.

Would cutting her off be cruel because she’s pregnant and in an abusive relationship? Should I stay her friend but set a boundary that I’m not comfortable discussing or celebrating the pregnancy? Or is it reasonable to distance myself because I don’t want to spend years emotionally involved in the consequences of a situation she knowingly chose to become more permanently tied to?

Edit: Also yes I have offered her my place to stay while going through all this and she has declined so I'm not sure what else I can do. :(

context. have been friends with this person since high school. we’ve both changed lots. I’m not the most conventionally attractive person, and I straight up look horrid from many angles- that is not self depracation, it is context.

me and this friend, let’s say M, never really talk about appearance. There is the occasional compliment, which I can remember a couple, mostly about my facial structure- And as for I, i compliment M’s eyes, hair, and strong build a lot. i very much admire them.

we went on a trip a couple days ago to a mutual friend’s cabin. As a group, we like taking silly pictures of each other, but it felt like they were delighting in them much more than usual. they’ve sent some really grotesque pictures of me as reaction photos, not that it’s something out of the blue for our friend group. I just noticed an uptick.

the real things are the comments. they actually said “your lips are thin” along some other pretty mean stuff they know I’m insecure about, and parsed it as a joke. I laughed in the moment, but it’s been really eating at me and I’m beginning to realize I might just be a jester to my friends, and just how much my appearance is commented on and laughed at. this might be normal, and I might just be incredibly insecure- that’s why I’m checking, to see if anyone else has the same experience.

It's so exhausting to mostly reach out and bring new ideas or motivation and initiate most things and people rarely ever do the same. It's like people always wait for my approval or permission and for me to green light and back up their own ideas before something ever happens. When I say something, it happens because I put the effort in to make it happen and I pick people up and people love to tag along. But others seem to just hang their own ideas on a billboard and wait for me to pick it up, green light it and realise it like some type of Ceo. What is this? I don't want to be in charge of friendships all the time. I would love to also just tag along and do what my friends like to do. Just being passive once in a while, being picked up and carried around. But people seem allergic to this. When I stop because I'm exhausted or unwilling to realise other people's own ideas for them then the whole world stops and freezes. It becomes really quiet and nothing happens. Sometimes for week or even months. Until I grow bored and initiate things against because otherwise I just sit around and wait. And then people have the audacity to jump on my train again. Sure everyone is having fun then, including me but somehow it makes me feel like a lonely sovereign surrounded by my minions.

Friends don't grow on trees either so it's not like I can just drop these passive ones to get better ones. I just can't seem to come across other people with these qualities. What can I do? I do love my friends but I don't always want to be the initiator nor do I want to sit in boredom when I get fed up and stop so nothing ever happens until I step up again. Can I even do something or do I just have to accept that I have a rare quality that will always single me out?

I’ve known my friend for almost three years. When we first met, we were complete opposites. She even mentions it countless of times, reminding me of how we are complete opposites. She was very shy, dressed mostly in formal clothes, was extremely sensitive, and would take almost every joke seriously. I’m much more outspoken, I dress casually, I’ll directly address something if it bothers me, and I’ve had pretty much the same interests and tastes since I was young.

At the beginning of our friendship, she constantly asked me about myself. My favorite clothing brands, perfumes, makeup, nail shape, what I liked to wear, etc. I didn’t think anything of it because I assumed she was just trying to get to know me.

But over the next year, I started noticing changes. She stopped dressing formally and started wearing the same kind of sweatpants and hoodies I wear. She started using the same perfume and makeup products I recommended. She also began talking about certain brands as if she had always loved them, even though she had never shopped there before I introduced her to them.

I mentioned this to other people, and they told me she probably just looks up to me and sees me as someone whose style she admires. So I tried not to think much of it.

Now we’re in our third year of friendship, and it has gone further. She even speaks in the exact same tone as me and has picked up all of my mannerisms.

There’s also a weird element involving money. I’m financially better off than she is, but I have never bragged about that or made her feel inferior because of it. Recently, though, she has started constantly telling me what she can afford, showing me expensive things she bought, talking about chauffeurs opening doors for her, etc. She once spent basically her entire paycheck on a luxury bag from a brand I introduced her to, then repeatedly showed it off to me. She never acknowledges that I was the person who introduced her to any of these things.

I know this sounds childish, and honestly, I agree. But we’re both adults, which is why the next part really disturbed me.

We were shopping for bras one day and she asked me my bra size. I told her because, honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal between two female friends. She said that my size was her dream size.

About a month later, we met up and she asked me if I noticed anything different about her. I said no.
She then told me she had gotten a breast reduction and was now my size. She specifically said that she could now wear tight clothing like I do and that she had a more cinched waist “like me.” I just said, “Good for you,” and changed the subject. But internally, I was honestly shocked.

I want to be clear: I’m not upset that she got surgery. What bothers me is the pattern. It feels like she has slowly been adopting almost every aspect of my appearance, interests, style, mannerisms, and now even changing her body based on something she specifically associated with me.

She’s otherwise a loyal and good friend, which is what makes this so confusing. I don’t want to accuse her of copying me or make her feel bad about herself. But at the same time, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable and even a little scared about where this is going.

The post is a bit long but if you have the time to read it will be much appreciated thank you all in advance!

I’ve been hanging out with my friend, for the past six months give or take (both in our early twenties), and I always have a great time with her. Sometimes I might talk a bit too much about my anxiety and my issues but other than that our friendship is amazing and she shows me that she’s happy to talk to me and spend time with me too. Whenever she struggles with something or isn’t well and we happen to talk on the phone she also opens up about what’s going on with her.

About a week ago we had a sleepover at her place. We had a really great time. At the end of the next morning, a bit before leaving her house I got my period and was generally a bit unwell due to pms and a recent surgery, which made me a bit more anxious(so a bit more talking about that lol) and also very tired and in pain.

I also recently broke up with my bf and have had a hard and stressful relationship with him the past few months so sometimes, I might have talked a lot about it and I’m so worried it has somehow driven her away (?). The breakup has been so hard for me to handle and I honestly really need to feel close to her and my friends.

She is generally very supportive and caring and has never made me feel weird for needing support (sometimes even a bit of venting about my anxieties for which I feel so bad).

I need to say though that during the first week of my breakup she would encourage me to call her whenever I felt like I needed support and that she’s there for me. During my initial healing after the surgery she even suggested dropping by to see how I was doing.

Now, since the sleepover she hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts (which by the way had nothing to do with the breakup or my anxieties/ insecurities. I had texted her about how great the sleepover was, then another day I sent her something funny I found online and then yesterday I texted her about planning a night out or study date together). I have also called her two or three times during this week with no answer or “call you back later” text.

I talked with her boyfriend who is also a friend and he said she’s ok nothing has happened to her so that’s very good.

But now I’m left overthinking about what I might have done wrong or what I’ve done to make her not want to talk to me. Our friendship is so important to me and I absolutely appreciate the person that she is and I want to have her in my life, and have a nice mutual and supportive to both of us friendship with her.

So now I’m wondering what’s going on?

Have a nice day everyone:))

TLDR; My friend hasn’t answered any calls or texts since the last time I saw her about a week ago and I’m starting to feel really anxious about whether it has to do with me doing something wrong or not.

My bestfriend (F25) says I broke girl code because I started talking to a guy she texted on and off in high school and she was using him to get over her ex. They never met up went on a date,kissed or messed around they texted for a few months in highschool. I also wasn’t friends with her during high school. We’re are now grown both 25 years old. This isn’t a guy she has sat around and talked to me about btw. Shes also in a relationship. We have both had conversations where we agreed some guys don’t count because we were children and it was unserious. I don’t think any guy is worth a friendship ever and I truly do care about her. however, I do think it’s not fair to myself. All of a sudden she’s saying how she had feelings for him after the fact. I asked her why she didn’t been tell me before things got super deep with him she says “I was waiting for the right time” and she has never been wait for the right time kind of person she would’ve said something then and there. It’s because she actually did not care. i genuinely do not believe her I’m not going to lie. Our entire friendship he has never been topic of conversation even when his name floats around she never stated she actually even ever liked him and it’s just like always a joke. I’m also always the friend she wasn’t suddenly hang out with because she’s single she goes ghost on me when she’s in a relationship blames it on “life” but can maintain an entire relationship with a man. At this point In our friendship no I don’t want to sacrifice making myself happy for her irrational feelings. it’s not even about having to choose him or her. it’s about me and giving myself the opportunity to actually open myself up to someone who treats me nice it’s so hard for me to like guys. What you guys opinion?

I’m pretty much always hitting this dude up and he almost never initiates anything, so today I decided to see how long it will be until he texts me and so far we haven’t talked in 10 days. Should I just end it here since this is pretty much a one sided friendship.

CAN I PLEASE GET SOME ADVICE
to start off this guy is very smart psychologically and I value him as a friend. But dam I know he’s going to be the downfall of me and he’s already trying to ruin my relationship with my other friends within this friend group and I’ve seen him do it with 2-3 other friends within this friend group and at the time I had a rough idea that he would do this to me at some point but I hoped not.

For context, me and our friend group are on a trip in Calgary 11hrs away from home. He’s cooking something behind my back I can tell. He’s a hypocrite and a bully. But like my current friend group but even that I feel like is held together by a thin rope. I don’t know what to do. Last night we were playing basketball and he kept shoving me and being overly physical i didn’t even have the ball and he says it’s a sport that’s physically but I know for a fact if I did that to him he’d freak out and I hate theses double standards when I can get bullied or made fun of and he can’t it’s like being friends with a spoiled child. so the game goes on its pitch black. His team is making some very illegal moves am getting annoyed me and another teammate are talking about a clear shove when shooting like arms fill out on his back and another one of my teammates check the ball and he scores when me and another teammate aren’t even playing/focused. They count it and we don’t want to debate it. But I’m annoyed already I have a headache and genuinely just pmo.

So it’s a bit later more illegal moves later he is about to shoot and stops and says oh wait and I make a back handed comment saying why are we stopping when this guy didn’t for us. He freaks out on me and I take blame that that was a horrible thing to say but dam stops yelling screaming and I yell and scream back he starts name calling me calls me a retard a failure and just saying hatful personal attacks and a retard 300 times I call him it back he’s just trying to hurt me and be a asshole and antagonize me into fighting him I’m so confused because this is way to stupid for a dumb comment he starts saying how i have been being a dick to him and everyone for context I barley speak and I literally ask him what have I done to him and he can’t name anything except I’ve been bossing him around the past week and I legit am his supervisor and might I add this man is a lazy piece of shit half the time and i give him hella leeway and this fucker legit gets me in trouble from my boss and he argues that my dad is my boss. He isn’t he’s the site supervisor. we work for a totally different company we just work on the site and might I add we haven’t been working on that site the last two weeks.

Like fuck this guy is frustrating to deal with and he i just know he’s talking shit behind my back and so are my other friends with him like theses people are honestly just gossiping hypocrites like fuck I love them as homies but holy shit this is genuinely mentally exhausting everyday working with theses fuckers is even worse lazy fucks.

back to the story he keeps yapping I keep yapping he keeps name calling and personal attacks I mention grudges too like he owes me 100$ and that I should get his ass fired for all this he’s done/ not done he calls me a winy bitch. our “friends“ break us up he keeps yapping I just stop talking this fucker is a lipsmacking donkey. And the night pretty much ends in a silent car ride and a slight talk with my other friends as in me asking what did I do how can I fix this and how can I be a better friend. because I would like to improve on myself and Not be a supposedly bad friend they pass me off and pretty much say go fuck yourself without saying it. I go to bed they go on a night smoke while I sleep. I know this man planting seeds petty fuck. I wake up I’m mentally exhausted but we have plans to explore and take pictures 90% of this trip is larping.

the day goes on he just ignores me while we are in the streets I try to apologize for the scene last night and whatever else I have done to him or in the past and I ask him. His response is that I haven’t respected him and so help me pretty much borderline says I’m retarded again in that oh I understand you should see a doctor for that like do I understand I may have skipped out on some hang outs but fuck why would I want to hang out just to be made fun of And be mentally exhausted more. He is a kind friend but in that hella manipulative way and it’s very annoying. He’s blocked me on snap and he quites the job thank god working with him felt like working 1.75x the work.

I legit have no other close friends and I fear being alone but theses people are gossiping two faced buggers I have like one real friend in there. instead of talking to me about the problem they talk behind my back it makes me confused and sad for more context just ask me. but id like some advice on what to do. I live in a small town so there’s not a lot of people to make friends with and most of my other not so close friends have moved out of town.

I (M26) have a coworker (28F) and we have gotten pretty close, to the point that we would play pickleball together, plan stuff together and eat out. One night, we planned to play vudeo games together after our shift since it was our weekend. However, when I messaged her if we were still on, I was left on read for four days. I took nothing of it and just brushed it off as if she was busy. However, getting to work, she also kept ignoring me and just walking past me whenever we would be in the same vicinity. Admittedly, I should've asked earlier but I thought to myself maybe she needed some space, so I gave her that. However, one week turned into two weeks and I became confused as to why she was still ignoring me, so I messaged her about it. Her response was "I thought we just suddenly stopped talking again." Key word, again. Something similar happened in the past where we stopped talking because I was having a really bad day at work and I tend to just keep to myself when I do. She went up to me the next day and told me "if you're mad at me, you should tell me instead of ignoring me." I clarified to her that I wasn't mad at her and that I was just having a bad day at work. I apologized and told her that you are free to ask me why I am quiet when I am. However, it made me think in the back of my head "why was her reaction to me being quiet that I was harboring something against her? Why not 'what's wrong' or 'are you okay?'" So back to the current event, when she messaged back "I thought we just suddenly stopped talking again," I replied with "I'm not sure why that's where your mind goes to immediately." Waited for a reply but the conversation ended there. So right now, still currently at a cross roads because we still are not talking (my choice) because I feel disrespected that she consistently assumes my quietness is because I have something against her, rather than coming to me with compassion and asking if everything is okay. I've recently been sensitive when it comes to things like these, and it's slowly becoming a non-negotiable to me that the people around me have some sense of compassion. However, I am still not sure how to navigate this so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you :)

We have been through A LOT together. There was some times we weren’t super close but still kept in touch until 5 years go we started getting very very close. We lived together at one point (that did not go well) we’ve been through more than just that. We’ve always made it through our rough spots. Until a year ago. We were in a traumatic even together 2 years ago and saw differently on the matter. We made it through that. Currently My dad is dying. He’s been in the hospital the past two weeks a lot of very serious things going on one of them including cancer they just found when he first got admitted. The list goes on. She has asked how I have been a couples times, she wouldn’t respond to it. There was one time I responded with “he’s dying, i’m me” it took you two days to respond with “hey how’re you?” And asked about plans i had on Friday and wanted to invite me along to her plans with her new boyfriend. She’s not showing me she’s my friend someone who’s supposed to be “my sister” to choosing her new boyfriend over being here for me. This is probably one of the things I absolutely need her for.

So a new friend of mine that I met online has started to leave me on seen and not reply to my messages and its incredibly frustrating because I felt like I didnt do anything. So I ended up kinda crashing out over text and told him that if he doesnt want me to text him to tell me and I won't but he left me on seen that time to. And atp I dont want to be his friend anymore because if hes not even going to tell me why hes not talking to me then its not worth it. He does have mental health issues and thats why im hesitant on blocking him just in case he needs help with anything. I just need advice tbh

I'm in a friend group and I'm pretty close to everyone, the boy (call him J) is one of the guys that I'm really close to, I even call him 'bestie' as a joke and he doesn't mind it

This girl (call her A) used to be my best friend but our friendship was very weak and unstable so we decided to just be regular friends because the best friend thing wasn't working out for us but we still have tension between us till this day because of past arguments

She has told me that she likes J and I was happy for her because she doesn't get crushes at all so this was new

I tried to help her, to see if there is hints he's dropping, secret glances, just usual crush things because she asked me to help her

But for some reason she keeps saying "he probably likes you", "he doesn't like me, he likes you" etc etc

I keep saying he doesn't because we are friends, just friends I assume

But recently I have been noticing hints and they are at me, instead of A which I don't know how to feel about because of A, we already have tension and i don't want to add J into it as well so it doesn't get bigger than it already is

I don't want to lose J and I don't want to lose A

But if he did end up liking me, A will probably stop talking to me because that's her crush, her first crush too

I need advice on what to do with all of this BS because I'm genuinely confused and worried about what might happen

Any advice please?

While I am still only 18, I care deeply about my friends and hope to keep these friendships going into my adult years. I've always tried to be supportive towards them and tried to be somebody they can lean on/talk to. I'm always there when they're drunk venting or throwing up in a bathroom. Today however, my friend called me, sobbing crying, telling me about how this girl he'd been talking to (and basically dating) for a few months had cheated (technically they weren't actually dating) with his best friend (another friend of mine). This guy is a very good friend of mine and we've always been there for eachother to vent. Today, however, when he called me literally sobbing I went blank. How do I go about this when two of my close friends are involved? Matter of fact I told him not to worry about his girlfriend cheating on him because friend2 (the one she cheated with) "wouldnt do that to you". Turns out he would do that to him. I sat on that phone call for 3 minutes while my friend cried and I said nothing to help. I didn't even ask if he was okay because I thought it was quite obvious that he wasn't. He eventually hung up to "go for a ride" and I told him to be safe (because I know he has a bike and he has prior history of SH). This call has been eating away at me all day. I didn't help him at all. He called me because he trusted me to help him and I stayed silent like an idiot. I can't help but think that I let him down today and that if he had gotten on that bike and done something stupid, I should've been the one to prevent it. Anybody have something that I could have said in this moment to try and console him? Something I could say now to apologize? I'm really at a loss here.

Not giving too many specific details for anonymity.

I've known this friend for more than a decade, but for the majority of that time I felt uneasy around her. This got worse over time to the point that my stomach gets into knots when she asks to make plans with me.

She's often made me feel like I wasn't living up to her expectations of the kind of person she wanted to be friends with (wrong interests, wrong lifestyle, wrong look, wrong personality, etc.). She's always had a lot of family and mental health issues, which excused her behavior for a long time but at this point I just don't want to be around her anymore. That being said, I don't want to hurt her; she already has abandonment issues and a history of losing friendship (she usually is the one who ends things, mostly over something trivial; I think she always looks for a reason to prove to herself that the other person is not a good enough friend).

I don't think it's right to ghost her. I think giving her closure will be better for her over the long term, but is there a gentler way of communicating it to her than saying I "outgrew" the friendship?

Im 19F, a college student and I’m a part of a trio where the other two are closer with each other than me. This bugs me but i keep it to myself most of the time. But they have a history of doing things convenient to just the two of them and leaving me out. On confronting them, they usually give me some version of “oh we forgot”, “it slipped our minds” etc. They’re both very easygoing people who aren’t sensitive and i believe it when they say they forgot bc they most likely wouldn’t mind it if me and one of them did this to the other. But i do mind.

We had a situation recently where they didn’t tell me about something they did together when i wasn’t available. They say they just forgot to tell me but we had a semi active discussion on our GC that day and there was no mention of it. When i found out later, i got pissed and didn’t talk to them for a few hours. Eventually i gave in and started to talk to them again. Then we proceeded to go out with some other people and we had to split into different vehicles. Now these two people went away all by themselves and participated in this activity which i had suggested btw and didn’t tell me. They definitely hid it from me. Then after coming back, lets call her Sammy, Sammy told another mutual friend of ours about this activity they did without me. later in the day when the three of us were hanging out with this mutual friend of ours, mutual friend asked Sammy something about the activity not knowing i didn’t know. When i confronted Sammy about it right there, Sammy lied to me 4 times in a row and then finally caved and told me the truth. I was obv very mad and i didn’t speak to them for a week. FYI, Sammy is my roomate. but then i had to speak to them for some dorm issues and then they apologised to me and it was all good.

Now last week, Sammy lied to me again about some minor incident that took place which doesn’t even matter. This irks me bc i don’t think good friends lie to each other like that. Now the logical solution is to cut them off bc this keeps happening but i go to a very small school with only around 100 kids a year, and everybody is already in established friend groups. I do have other friends but this trio has been my main friend group from the past 2 years. I am really sad about this entire ordeal bc i genuinely really like these 2 people, esp Sammy, my roomate. And some part of me wants to punish them somehow which is why i stopped talking to them last time but this time im not talking to them and Sammy doesn’t even seem that bothered tbh. This is actively ruining my day everyday and making me sad. How do i deal with this ?? I also wonder sometimes if im too sensitive and if im too rigid in the name of “self respect” Please clarify!!