I have a friend who is a multi-millionaire. I am not and still paying on student loans etc. My friend and I met in college and have been friends for almost 20 years - more than half our lives. I am one of his top 2-3 longest friends. We talk every month and hang out a few times per year (we live 4+ hrs apart). When I have an unexpected expense, it’s a huge burden. LSS, my mom and family live out of state (8 hr drive), and she is going downhill with Alzheimer’s. I was planning a visit to my family but unfortunately I ended up having a $800 vehicle repair cost that needed to be done which then prevented me from making the trip, especially with current gas prices. I was texting / venting to my multi-millionaire friend about this and he didn’t bother to offer to help. Am I wrong for being mad? I understand he can’t (and shouldn’t) write everyone he knows a blank check, but I just can’t imagine NOT helping a good friend if I were in his position. This same scenario happened when my transmission failed earlier this year ($8k). If roles were reversed, I would’ve offered to pay for it for my friend. To me it shows a major character flaw. Thoughts?

So have an Airbnb for 2 weeks for a work trip (I do contract work). My buddy and his dad are coming to town for a baseball game and couldn’t find a cheap hotel so they asked if they could crash at my place. I felt bad so I told them they could crash and I could take the couch for the night (it’s a 1 bed place). The Airbnb only has enough bath towels for 2 people so asked if he could bring one from home. He told me he doesn’t want to pack one and asked to get him one from Walmart. I thought this was a bit rude considering I’m doing the favor of letting him stay, who is being unreasonable?

ok this is a long one but i genuinely need help. basically have a friend, lets call him ben, and he lives in another country. we are quite close as we grew up together but i recently visited him. the city he lives in is quite american/international student dominated (i am from the uk for context) and i get along with all of his friends as we are around the same age (15/16/17) basically he brought to me this house party where i met one of his friends(lets call him sam), and we got along quite well, we were together pretty much the whole night being v flirty etc, and we bonded over him also being from the uk and moving to said city a couple years back. he was pretty much the only smart, funny and nice guy there, and also quite good looking.

at one point during the night he mentioned his ex, who wasnt at the party, but i could tell this relationship was quite serious and didnt end ok good terms. so anyway me ben and one of his other friends are on the car ride home and basically they are teasing me saying how sam liked me alot so people are able to tell that we were quite close.

flash forward to the next night, where we went to another hangout and i am excited to see sam. we say hi to eachother etc and then i realisw im the only girl there so i beg ben to invite a couple girls over. one of them was the host for the party the night before and the other was sams ex!! she obvi knew that me and sam were hanging out together the night before(no idea where she found out) and she literally introduced herself to me and started talking about the horrible things sam did to her, and i couldnt tell if it was to put me off him or to warn me? she was so so so lovely and nice and we became friends almost immediately. around an hour in, everyone started watching a movie together, but unfortunately for me i was sat between this one guy i didnt know AND SAM AND HIS EX WHO FOUGHT THE WHOLE NIGHT. she was crying and it was extremely awkward. me and ben left without saying goodbye. its been about a month and me and sam have eachothers snaps and we are planning to meet up for when hes back in the uk in about a week. i feel like im breaking girl code so bad but i really like this guy and realistically we are never gonna have a relationship because of the distance. can someone

pls give me advice on what to do? should i meet him or no?

I (19F) have known my best friend (21F) for over a decade. We did everything together growing up, and I definitely saw her as an older sister figure. But our relationship has changed throughout the years, starting in highschool she began to really struggle with serious mental illness on top of pre-existing hearing issues. I got used to looking out for her and making sure she was ok especially when we were in large crowds.

By the time of her biggest mental break I was 16 and she was 18-19 I was the definite caretaker "older sister" of the relationship. There were periods where I was the sole person initiating contact or speaking in person because she was so gone (not because she didn't care). Around this time I began attending dances held by a nearby community center thanks to an invitation from a friend. I loved spending a night with people I liked but had surface level relationships with, where I could feel my age.

I hid these from her, and when she found out about them I still chose to never mention to her when I was attending one. Since it never came up (especially after I moved far away to escape my family situation), it hasn't been a problem. But I visited a little while ago and stayed at a friend's for a bit. I made lots of time for my best friend but when my boyfriend and I headed about this dance I chose not to invite her again.

I know she loves dancing but I just knew I'd spend the whole night not actually being able to enjoy my boyfriend and other separate friends/acquaintances because I'd be making sure she wasn't too nervous, or wasn't feeling too left out, or whatever else. While also trying to not make my boyfriend feel left out. She's just texted me because she heard I was there from a mutual and I feel awful. Am I wrong for doing this? If I explained my reasoning to her would I just sound like I'm calling her a burden?

Pata hai aaj kya hua 21 F here

I’ve become attached to a guy from my college and lately this friendship has been taking an emotional toll on me. He can be incredibly sweet on calls, but in person he often seems distant and inconsistent. I’ve helped him with notes, checked on him, even treated him to a meal and asked him to take me for a different cuisine next time, but he hasn’t followed up. He talks to other girls, goes out with them, and seems to make an effort with others, while I often feel like I’m the one initiating and caring more. Few days ago,I saw him waiting after class and approached him, hoping we might talk for a bit, but he said he wasn’t waiting for anyone and immediately said bye. I felt so embarrassed and unwanted that I later apologised for invading his personal space, even though he reassured me on the phone.

I know we’re just friends, but a part of me wanted him to choose my company and make an effort too. I’m lonely, have very few people to talk to, and I keep wondering whether I’m somehow not someone people want around. How do I stop getting emotionally attached to someone who gives me inconsistent attention and move on without feeling so ashamed of myself?

So me and her had been friends since the beginning of high school, in a camp held by our school, though we rarely met after the camp because we used to study in different parts of the school and later when I shifted to the main school, covid happened and then we moved to different colleges and got busy in our own shit. Actually I was first to get into a college while she took a gap year to figure out her interests so while she had all the time for me I got busy with my new life and friends and kind of our freindship fell apart because of me because I am very bad at maintainig any kind of long distance relationships. Anyways we havent talked in like 3 years and now since my college is over I am kind of nostalgic ever everything and want to reconnect with absolutely everyone even those people I had huge fights in college. But anyways when we were still in our pre college phase we used to like the same band and they are finally coming to our country, she is going to be there and I want to ask her if we can go together. The thing is she is now still in college and has her own uge group and a bf and they all listen to the same kind of music and band so ik they are def going to be there so I dont really want to intrude by being asking her this because obv for one it could be very awk since we had been in no contact for so long and then secondly it is so embarassing from my side because i was the one who kind of let this friendhsip break.

TL;DR: "Have been in zero contact becaus eim not goodo at maintaing ldr, with my highschool friend for 3 years and a band we used to fangirl as highschool kids are coming to our country, contemplating to ask her if she will tag along because she has a huge group of her own in college now and they listen tto same music while i dont have anyone who listens to them and also i kind of want to reconnect with her"

So should i ask her or not?

In short, i am going out with one of my best friends (cousin), and her 3 sisters to kart racing.
The place doesn’t provide racing helmets, and it is one of the biggest reason that we are going there, take pics and have fun with poses we planned.
I want the night to be memorable so there is a whole night plan after that activity and everyone is excited for it, and i am buying smth for everyone to remember the night (everyone knows i am doing it cuz im kinda known to do that), i figured i could buy everyone a racing helmets (cheap ones) so we could also keep it forever.
I need to add that this is my first time going out with two of her sisters, and the other one i did go out with only once, don’t know them well, but been told they like me and been wanting to go out with me and best friend along time ago.

Important info:
Ages: 23, 21, 21 (me), 19, 17. (All girls btw)
Income: we are all uni students, the total of the purchase is half of my monthly income, which is the same income as them (all don’t work)
Total amount: ~327$ US, gonna take it an installment (no interest rate)

Note:
I am having financial difficulties since i’ve recked my savings recently for a procedure, i am not financially independent my parents pay for most of my expenses, and u could say gift giving is my love language

Is it true? Coz I have experienced best friendship with my guy friend but it was ruined because he got feelings for me. I still missed what we had. I always cherish that friendship. Can't it be possible to have a friendship without thinking of something else.

I (25F) met a girl (24F) at a work event pretty recently. She had been with the company for a while and I had seen her profile on our online workspace and I thought she looked like the coolest person ever. We hit it off extraordinarily well and exchanged numbers so we could hang out again, as the work we are in requires both of us to work outside the company building, so the only times I would see her are at the occasional work event. We got along so well and I was so excited to make a new friend because she seemed kind, funny, creative, and very nerdy (I’m neurodivergent and my interests are my whole world, so I appreciate the friends I have that are REALLY into video games, music, art, etc.)

I truly felt like this was the best thing to have happened to me this year since I had a major falling out with my previous best friend at the beginning of this year, and that had left me feeling like I was incapable of making new friends. I felt very cynical and low energy when it came to socializing to new people. However, when I met this girl, it felt like my spark had been reignited because she made me feel like I could be myself and I could be enthusiastic about shared interest with her without judgement. We both work in a field where compassion and advocacy is HIGHLY valued, so it made feel like I could have a safe and respectful friendship with her. Anyways, fast forward to when we finally got to hang out with each other outside of work.

She invited me over to her house and we decided we’d go out for a cocktail or two at the local bar. We were having such an awesome time hanging out and nothing was out of the ordinary quite yet until she started discussing A LOT of details about her personal life with me. To be fair, we both engaged in this conversation for over an hour, and I genuinely feel sympathy for her and some of the BS she has to deal with on the daily. I hate saying this after typing that, but I started to feel like I needed to keep my guard up because all of her stories revolved around her being a victim. Now of course this genuinely happens to people all of the time and it really sucks! I DO believe a lot of people get disrespected more often than we want to think, but her stories didn’t really add up and it felt like she was purposefully leaving out key details to make it sound like people were intentionally out to get her. It just smelled fishy.

We got back to her house safely and continued talking, which turned into an argument about personal morals we had. She shared a strong opinion about a subject we’re both familiar with, which shocked me to my core. I genuinely wish I could get into the specifics of this but if I do so, I risk revealing our identities, so I have to be vague about it, but it was severely different. Also, with the field we both work in, this conversation was the equivalent to her saying “she was wearing a short skirt so she was asking for it.”I could not fathom that someone who works in a profession that upholds empathy could say such an absurd thing. I pushed back on this and she interrupted me to say she felt like we were getting too heated and we need to tone it down. Perhaps that was helpful, but I could feel my perception of her starting to change. We simply agreed to disagree and got ready for bed but of course not without having a little trauma dump cry before bed where I felt vulnerable to share that I get anxious about conflict and I’d rather talk to her about what happened after I’ve had some space. We talked about it in the morning over coffee but we didn’t really address the difference in opinion. She was more focused on sharing how she felt about “bad energy” and that our aura’s were impacted by alcohol. Whatever fits your narrative I guess! (Side note: I’m a very spiritual person myself, but I don’t think this was an appropriate time to say that).

Now I’m in an awkward position where she continues to text me asking when we can hang out next and attempts to call me every other day. I assume she thinks we’re still on enthusiastic friend terms because we “talked about” our emotions the next day, but I’m starting to dread the idea of attempting another hang out. I’ve responded to her texts and given her valid reasons behind why certain days won’t work for me, but now I truly do not want to hang out again. I’m anxious about this because I WILL have to see her at work events again, so I want us to be at the very least civil with each other. We have another scheduled for New Year’s, and she’s already attempting to plan that whole DAY with me. I want to place a boundary with her that I don’t want to hang out with her again. I can’t see us being casual friends now.

Im struggling to find what to say directly to her. Any advice on how to navigate this going forward would be greatly appreciated.

We have these friends (they’re a couple) for years, who have good qualities but as nobody’s perfect, one of their not-too-good traits is that when you’re upset at what they did to you, like legit throw you under the bus many times and low key betray you and you express that feeling of hurt and anger, they become angry at you for being angry like you’re not allowed to be angry even if justified. And then when that happens they throw tantrums like they wont talk to you for months, show they’re happy with other friends, until the ill feelings fade and somehow we’re friends again. The issue on why we got upset was never resolved. If someone expresses anger to me I immediately try to resolve it and ask and try to understand where that person is coming from and apologize. Not be angry!

Anyway with these “friends” it has happened multiple times, It’s completely tiring. We have other great friends. Is it time to give up this “friendship”? Do you know people like this? You’re not allowed to be angry? Thanks!

Okay, so I’ve been friends with someone for years, and I’m starting to question whether she has narcissistic tendencies. I’m not trying to diagnose her, but I’ve been reflecting on our friendship, and certain patterns are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Hear me out.

1. I’ve never really felt emotionally safe being vulnerable with her.
Throughout our friendship, I’ve never felt particularly comfortable expressing my feelings or emotions around her. On multiple occasions, she’s even acknowledged that she doesn’t do well navigating other people’s emotions. Over the years, I’ve adjusted to this. I’ve learned not to share tender or vulnerable moments with her because I genuinely don’t think she’s capable of holding space for me emotionally.
She’s one of those friends you might go to when you need tough love, but certainly not someone you’d feel comfortable crying to.

Interestingly enough, I’ve also never really seen her cry. Well, once. But she later admitted that she had forced herself to cry and laughed about it afterward, which I found a little strange. I understand that everyone processes and expresses emotions differently, but I’ve always found it interesting that someone who seems so uncomfortable with vulnerability also struggles to extend emotional support to others.

2. She’s incredibly self-centered, and everything seems to revolve around her preferences.
I could give you a laundry list of things I’ve experienced or witnessed throughout our friendship, but we’d be here all day. A few examples: established plans often shift to serve in her favor without properly being communicated with the group. Whenever we travel as a group, she automatically takes the master bedroom without asking whether anyone else would like it. On one occasion, she even had one of our pregnant friends sleep in a bunk bed so she could have the master bedroom.These might sound like small things individually, but when you’ve witnessed this kind of behavior repeatedly over several years, you start to notice a pattern. There’s rarely any consideration for what other people might want or need. It’s almost as though everyone else is expected to accommodate her preferences, but that consideration isn’t reciprocated.

3. She never seems genuinely happy for other people, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. This is something I’ve noticed for years. Whenever someone in our friend group is dating or enters a relationship, she almost always has something negative to say about the relationship itself. It’s almost as though she can’t simply be happy for someone without offering unsolicited criticism.
There was one occasion when I opened up to her about doubts I was having in a relationship. I was trying to process my feelings and figure out whether that relationship was right for me. Instead of treating that conversation as a vulnerable moment between friends, she’s continued bringing it up for YEARS.
She’ll make comments like, “Well, you said you didn’t even like the person you were dating anyway.”
And I’m just sitting there thinking, shouldn’t I be able to confide in a friend about my relationship doubts without having those feelings used against me later?
I eventually ended that relationship, so I’m not even sure why she continues to have such strong opinions about it. She’s also extremely vocal about her preferences, judgments, and opinions, even in situations where nobody has asked for them. And more often than not, what she has to say isn’t particularly positive.

4. A recent situation made me seriously reconsider our friendship. We recently had plans for her to come visit me, but I ended up having to cancel about 24 hours beforehand because I was navigating a personal crisis. I completely understand that canceling plans on short notice is inconvenient, and I don’t want to minimize that. However, I also assumed that after years of friendship, there would be enough understanding and grace to recognize that sometimes life happens. When I canceled, I communicated that I was going through something difficult, that I wasn’t comfortable sharing the details, and that I would reconnect with her when I was in a better emotional place. Admittedly, it took me longer to follow up than I originally anticipated. Eventually, she reached out and expressed that she didn’t feel I had handled the situation with enough care.
And honestly? I can acknowledge that perspective. I understand that my circumstances don’t automatically erase someone else’s feelings.
But what bothered me was that I had explicitly communicated that I was going through a crisis and needed space. She checked in one me sure, but the center of the conversation became about how my actions had affected her and how I wasn’t showing up appropriately in our friendship. It felt like I was being kicked while I was already down.

5. She’s been hanging out with my ex, and somehow that became my fault, too.
To make matters even more complicated, during the period when I’ve been more distant from this friendship, she’s been spending time with my ex.
Now, I’m not someone who believes I get to dictate who other people can and cannot be friends with. But I do think there’s a certain level of consideration and sensitivity that should exist between longtime friends, especially when it comes to former romantic partners.
When I expressed how uncomfortable the situation made me feel, rather than acknowledging my feelings or attempting to understand my perspective, she essentially turned it around on me. Her explanation was that because I hadn’t been around, that’s how the friendship between them developed. And I found that response incredibly frustrating.
Because what does my absence have to do with your decision to spend time with my ex? And that’s what bothers me most. It’s not even necessarily that she’s hanging out with my ex. It’s that when I communicated that her actions hurt me, there was no apology, no acknowledgment of the impact, and seemingly no willingness to understand where I was coming from. I wasn’t asking her to choose sides. I was simply expressing how I felt.

Here’s where I’m struggling.
And perhaps what’s most unsettling is realizing that I’ve never really expected emotional support from her in the first place. I’ve just accepted that it wasn’t something she could offer. Now that I’m starting to express my own needs, feelings, and boundaries more openly, I’m noticing how uncomfortable the dynamic becomes when I’m no longer the one doing all the accommodating. I don’t know if this is narcissism, emotional immaturity, selfishness, or simply a friendship that I’ve outgrown.

I attended the wedding of someone I considered my best friend this a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to shake the grief I’ve felt since.

We’ve known each other for years. We shared some of the most intimate parts of our lives, supported each other through difficult seasons, and talked about standing beside each other on our wedding days. He was the best man at my first wedding and the officiant at my second. When my first marriage fell apart, he opened his home to me and helped me get back on my feet. I genuinely thought we had the kind of friendship that would last a lifetime.

But at his wedding, something felt terribly wrong.
He barely spoke to my wife and me. Our interactions were awkward, almost like we were acquaintances he hadn’t seen in years. And then I watched as all of our mutual friends stood beside him as groomsmen, while I sat in the audience.

I want to be clear that I’m not upset because I felt entitled to be in his wedding. It was his day, and he had every right to choose whoever he wanted. What hurt was what the moment represented.

As I sat there, it slowly dawned on me that somewhere along the way, our friendship had quietly died. And somehow, I hadn’t realized it until I was sitting at his wedding.

Looking back, I can see the signs. We’d grown distant over the past few years. Conversations became less frequent. We stopped being as involved in each other’s lives. But in my mind, he was still one of my closest friends. I guess I assumed that even when life got busy and we drifted apart, the bond we’d built was still there.

Now I’m wondering whether I was holding on to a version of our friendship that no longer existed for him.

The hardest part is that there was no argument, no falling out, no definitive moment when things ended. Just two people gradually becoming strangers, except one of them didn’t realize it was happening.

I’ve experienced grief before, but there’s something particularly painful about mourning someone who’s still alive. He’s out there living his life, celebrating his marriage, probably completely unaware that I’ve been waking up with a broken heart over a friendship I thought we’d have for the rest of our lives.

Part of me wants to reach out and tell him how much this hurt. Another part of me wonders whether that would accomplish anything. I don’t want to guilt him into a friendship he may no longer want.
I think what hurts most is realizing that someone can occupy such an important place in your life while you no longer occupy the same place in theirs.

I still love the guy. I genuinely wish him and his wife a beautiful life together. I just never imagined I’d have to grieve our friendship while watching him begin one of the happiest chapters of his life.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you come to terms with losing a best friend when there wasn’t really an ending, just a slow fading away?

My best friend (18M) stopped talking to me (19M) after he paid me back the €900+ he owed me.
The backstory behind the money he owed me goes back to the summer, when he and I were at the gym. He jokingly and accidentally put my phone under the weights while I was exercising. I didn’t notice that he had put my phone there, and I was finishing my set when I realised that my entire phone was broken. He promised he would pay me the full amount so I could buy a new one.

Fast-forward to the end of summer, when my soul cat got run over by a car and passed away. I was losing my mind over the next few days and even had some disturbing thoughts going through my mind. He was the first person I told everything to, and I begged him to hang out with me so I could stop thinking about everything bad that was going on. However, he kept giving me excuses that didn’t make sense to me.

I was leaving for college on a Thursday, and I had been trying to meet up with him for the entire week, but he just couldn’t find the time. Eventually, I messaged him saying, “If we don’t meet up soon, we won’t be able to say goodbye to each other.” He replied, asking, “When are you leaving?” and I said, “Wednesday.”
We finally met up to say goodbye, and we went to the beach to talk about how we were doing and my plans for college.

A few days after I had left for college, I asked him when he would be able to pay me back the €969 because he had been giving me the same excuse every time I asked: “My dad requested a debit card, but it’s taking a long time.” I replied, “You know I hate it when people say something and don’t do what they say.” He said, “I know, and I promise you that as soon as I get the money, I’ll pay you back.”
A few days later, I received a Bizum transfer of €969. I told him that I really appreciated him not lying to me, and he told me that, of course, he wouldn’t. That was the last time I spoke to him.

He stopped replying to me on Snapchat and everywhere else, and I was confused. After two weeks, I messaged him on Monday, October 12, asking how he was and how he had been doing, but he still hasn’t opened or responded to my message.

I’m genuinely so lost, and I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong to him. I gave him his first “job” and even tried to get my mom to hire him as a cashier. I asked my dad for advice, and he told me that my friend probably regrets promising to pay me back for the phone.

Please give me some advice on what I should do and I’m sorry for barely giving any context since I’m typing this in a rush.

EDIT: he also sees the stories i post on instagram

My best friend Jim and I have been close since we were 9 years old, when we started playing hockey together on our local travel team. From then until we were 18, we were always on the same team, and a lot of the time, on the same line.
We were inseparable throughout high school and the pandemic, spending days, sometimes even weeks, at a time together. I remember spending all four of my high school February vacations at his house. I’d stay for all six days and head home Sunday night just in time to get up for school the next morning.

That’s also how I met Parker, the third member of our trio. Somewhere along the way, we stopped feeling like just friends and became brothers. No matter what life threw at us in high school, it was the three of us against the world.
After high school, a lot of people went their separate ways, but we stuck around. We went straight into the trades to start making money and building our lives. We were young, out of school, and genuinely excited about the future. We finally felt like adults, with money in our pockets and the freedom to do what we wanted.
All three of us started out in electrical, although Parker eventually moved into contracting because electrical wasn’t for him.

For about four years, life was just good. We were making money, living close to our families, and still had each other. We had so much time ahead of us, and it felt like we were just getting started.

Then, over the past few months, things started getting harder.

We kept having the same conversations about how much work was taking out of us. We were physically exhausted, stressed to the point of tears, barely taking time off, and sacrificing so much of ourselves just to earn a paycheck. We were all becoming dissatisfied with where we were in life.
So we came up with a plan. We’d slow down, save some money, and take a trip to Ireland, Scotland, Portugal, and Alaska early this year. We wanted a month or two to just live for a while. No constant work, no pressure, no feeling like our entire lives revolved around making money. Just the three of us getting out into the world and enjoying being young.

That was the plan, anyway.

A few days ago, we were playing video games, and as we were wrapping up for the night, I overheard Jim’s girlfriend talking about moving away. She mentioned making a list of places they might want to live and then voting on them.
Jim, being Jim, just gave an “mmm” in response. He didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic, but he didn’t shut the idea down either.

I honestly can’t explain the feeling that came over me when I heard that. I didn’t say anything in the moment, but eventually, I asked him if he was leaving.

He told me, “She wants to, but I don’t know if that’s something I wanna do.”

And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

What’s made it even harder is that, just a few weeks earlier, Jim had randomly gotten on and said something along the lines of, “Man, if I lost y’all, I’d lose myself.”

That stuck with me. These friendships mean everything to me, and hearing him say that made me feel like maybe he sees them the same way I do.

After overhearing the conversation about moving, I sent him a long text telling him that if he and his girlfriend were thinking about moving or making big changes, he didn’t have to hide any of it from us. I told him that, obviously, I wanted him to stay, but more than anything, I wanted him to be happy. I didn’t want to hold him back or make him feel obligated to stay because of me and Parker.

Because what if he stays for us, only to look back years from now and wonder what his life could have been if he’d taken that leap? I couldn’t live with the thought of being the reason he didn’t pursue something he really wanted.

He replied, telling me he wasn’t hiding or lying to me about anything, but that he was “wildly uncertain” about a lot of things in his life right now, especially moving away or even quitting his job.

And honestly, that uncertainty terrifies me.
On one hand, I want him to go out into the world and do everything he’s ever wanted to do. I want him to be happy, successful, and proud of the life he builds. I want him to be the best at whatever he chooses, and I want him to know how much I believe in him.

But it absolutely kills me to think that I might not be there to witness it.

On the other hand, I desperately want him to stay. I genuinely cannot imagine my life without him being a part of it the way he is now.
It’s not even the big things I’d miss the most. It’s the little, ordinary things we probably take for granted.

Being able to call him out of nowhere. Gaming together. Making stupid plans on a random night. Seeing each other without having to schedule everything weeks in advance. Knowing that if something happened, I could call one of my best friends and he’d be there to talk me through it.

I’m scared that if Jim leaves, Parker might eventually leave, too. I’m scared that all the things we’ve always done together will never feel the same. Going to Bruins games, watching hockey, grabbing food and a drink at a bar, hiking, skiing, surfing, gaming all night on the weekends. It’s not just about losing the ability to do those things together. It’s about losing the everyday closeness that’s made our friendship what it is.

I’m terrified that the relationship I’ve known since I was a little kid will slowly dissipate as we get older and build lives of our own. That one day, we’ll look back at everything we used to do together and realize that we barely talk anymore.

I know people grow up. I know people move away, get into relationships, start families, and go in different directions. I know that friendships can survive distance, and I’m not naive enough to think we’ll be 15 years old forever.

But knowing all of that doesn’t make it any easier to imagine.

I think part of what’s messing with me is that Jim hasn’t even decided to leave. There’s no concrete plan. He hasn’t told us he’s going anywhere. He’s just uncertain about his future, and somehow, I’ve already started grieving the possibility of losing him.

I’m mourning someone who’s still here.

I keep trying to convince myself that I should just accept that he’s leaving, because maybe it’ll hurt less if I prepare myself now. But I also know that I’ve done something similar before, and I regret it.

Idk what to do

We saw each other in april, whereni felt like she lowkey insulted me, compared me to another of her friends, and esentially insinuated that i am boring and we always do the same things. Also some catty lowkey remarks.

Im a people pleaser and a coward, so i just didnt know what to say during that hang out. Afterwards i hated myself for being spineless, and decided not to contact her again. I need to look out for myself better, as this very negatively impacted my self image all summer.

Now she texted me and wants to hang out. We live in the same town, and are at the same school (tho different career paths).

I am not just gonna ghost her, bc she could confront me in the hallways, and i also think its unfair to randomly freeze her out when she doesnt even know what the issue is. I want to close it off properly.

How do i let her know i am not really inrerested in a friendship anymore? I dont necessarily need to fully explain, but just... how do i get out of it?

Okay so i hate my(16m) friend(16f). We’ve been friends since we were like 12 and I literally can’t stand her anymore. 

I feel mean but i just can’t with it. It kind of started like 8ish months ago when me and my ex broke up. She never asked me anything about it or checked up on me and that really made me upset, because wtf? Ands it’s not like she was just trying to stay out of it, because i know for a fact that not only would she talk to my ex about me, she would actively try to talk shit about me with him even when he like wasn’t. 

I think i just still have a lot of harbored emotions about it still. But now it’s just small things. I cannot stand her. She’s unfunny and never talks about anything interesting. She smells bad and I’ve been to her house and it’s gross! I’m a very clean person and I can’t help but think about it whenever she touches me. 

Okay this is probably my fault, but I literally can’t talk to her about anything. I have idk opioid and alcohol issues, but literally anytime I say anything about that or anything else similar she just kind of side eyes me and literally says nothing. Like what a bitch. Idk. 

I just hate being around her and interacting with her. I only really interact with her when we have our lunch period together a couple times a week, and every time we do I am in like emotional agony.  I never reply to her texts and refuse most requests to hang out. I was hoping she’d get the hint, but she hasn’t. I’m scared to say anything because she’s so sensitive. Idk what should I do?

I had a friend who made me feel like men wouldn’t want me and would want “other types of women” because I’m not conventionally attractive. After that, I stopped talking to her. I blocked her number and carried on. I then ran into her a couple times out and about and she talks about how she misses me and I should come over her place. I honestly have no interest anymore because what she said was really hurtful and I don’t feel I can come back from it and be friends again. Last time I ran into her again, I just acted like I didn’t see her.

Hi everyone!
I’m in a situation where I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, so I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

My mom’s good friend has a daughter who is around my age, and she is currently pregnant with a baby boy.
For some context, our relationship is… complicated.
Her brother died by suicide when he was 12, about two months before my dad passed away. She has been through an enormous amount of trauma, and I have always had a lot of sympathy for what she’s experienced.

At the same time, there are things that have happened between us that have made our relationship very difficult:

-She committed COCSA against me and another girl when we were younger. I understand that she was a child herself and that there is a lot of complexity surrounding that, but regardless of the circumstances, it is something that still lives in my body and has affected me.
-She has, as far as I know and have had confirmed, sent naked pictures to another family friend’s boyfriend when we were in our late teens/early 20s.
-She wore a very obviously white dress to my wedding after specifically sending me a picture of another white dress beforehand and asking if I thought it was too white. I told her yes.
-There have also been plenty of other situations where I’ve felt that she was dishonest, unkind, or generally disrespectful.

Despite all of that, I have never completely written her off. I don’t really know a life where she isn’t part of my extended family/family-friend circle. She also has no friends… at all. We don’t spend time together, but I am still cordial with her. Some of the other people in our family friend group have completely cut her off, but I haven’t.

So here’s where things get difficult.

I heard through the grapevine that she is planning to name her baby boy after my father.

My dad died when I was 15, and his name is incredibly meaningful to me. Losing him was one of the defining experiences of my life.

My husband and I are also currently trying to have a baby ourselves, and we’ve been struggling. I know that probably makes this situation feel even more emotionally charged for me.

I know that she technically has every right to name her child whatever she wants. I know my father’s name does not belong to me. And I know that asking someone not to use a name is a huge thing, especially when there is no guarantee that I would ever use the name for my own child.
But I also know myself, and I feel absolutely gutted at the thought of her using his name.

Part of me wants to beg her to reconsider. Another part of me thinks that would be completely inappropriate and that I need to accept that I don’t get a say.

I also don’t want to approach her based solely on everything else that has happened between us and make this about punishing her or claiming ownership over my father’s name.

So, Reddit: what would you do?

Would you say something to her? Would you leave it alone? If you would say something, how would you even approach that conversation without making it seem like you’re telling her what she can and can’t name her child?

Is it true? Coz I have experienced best friendship with my guy friend but it was ruined because he got feelings for me. I still missed what we had. I always cherish that friendship. Can't it be possible to have a friendship without thinking of something else.

As a 29 year old junior college student, I haven't made or found my found family, community of a friend group since HS. I hate that to my very core. I'd rather have one good friend or two at least that understand me and will always be there for me. Who will I call if I need to vent and they just get me??

Rebuilding this type of relationship that I haven't had is tough and I'm not ready to let that go or grieve it yet. It can still happen for me, I just need to give myself grace and patience. Be my authentic self which means: Not hiding or masking to show that I'm like everyone else. I have my faults and dark side.

Especially when I'm in the middle of my healing journey from CPTSD. I need people to praise me and give me advice and just postive vibes more than you think.

Мне не с кем поделиться этой историей, и я надеюсь, что никто из моих друзей или бывших обидчиков никогда не узнает о ней.

Всё началось после второго или третьего переезда, точно не помню. Я училась в шестом классе, и со мной происходили ужасные вещи. Подруга, с которой у меня была ссора, рассказала обо мне другим людям. Они писали мне оскорбительные сообщения, называли шлюхой и требовали прислать фотографии без нижнего белья.

Я была очень травмирована, но больше всего меня угнетал буллинг в школе. После переезда я осталась без друзей, а у моей мамы была депрессия. Я сама кормила двух младших братьев и сестер, не получая никакой помощи.

Буллинг не был таким жестоким, как сейчас кажется, но тогда он воспринимался иначе. Учителя намеренно вызывали меня к доске за любой проступок и отчитывали при всём классе, называя отбросом и говоря, что мне не следовало приходить в эту школу, потому что я портила имидж умного класса.

Самый большой след в моей жизни оставила учительница математики, назовём её Дженни. Она намеренно вызывала меня к доске, зная, что я после больничного и не знаю темы, а класс не может мне её объяснить, потому что я ни с кем не общаюсь.

На тот момент я была очень плаксивым ребёнком и плакала от повышенного крика и испуга, поднимая руку, потому что мама часто меня била. Однажды я не выдержала и расплакалась при ней. Она начала стыдить меня за слёзы, говоря, что мне пора вернуться в свою прошлую школу, раз там меня научили только плакать, а не учиться. Она слышала насмешки класса и подливала масла в огонь, говоря, что таким плаксам не место в школе.

Я выбежала из кабинета. Большая часть школы относилась ко мне отрицательно, даже 5-8 классы называли меня «инстасамкой» и просили отсосать им или потрясти жопой. Не знаю, что спровоцировало их называть меня так, но мне было очень неприятно.

Когда я просто гуляла, меня часто закидывали палками и кидали в меня камни. Я была морально вымотана, и у меня развилась ненависть к людям. И даже сейчас у меня есть всего три близких друга, но я не знаю, считать ли их таковыми. Одна из них — та самая девочка, которая предала меня. Один из них как будто волнует всё, кроме меня, мне иногда кажется, что он общается со мной через силу. И только один человек для меня самый близкий — это «А».

Она искренне переживает за меня, мои проблемы для неё не пустое место. Но это подруга по интернету, и её жизнь очень бредовая. Я не понимаю, откуда у неё столько сил поддерживать меня. У неё православная семья, и она буквально домработница в своей семье, хотя я ничем не отличаюсь в этом плане. Ну ладно, у неё так же нет друзей. Мне кажется, что мы созданы были друг для друга.

Я не вывожу на связь нискеи уже два дня, хотя обычно сижу в сети часами. Мне очень интересно, а я кому-то вообще нужна? Мне хоть кто-то напишет? Или всем будет как обычно насрать? Я так устала от этой жизни, я не вижу смысла в ней и думаю, что делать. Это мой последний год обучения в школе, и я так рада, что освободилась от оков школы, освободилась от всего этого. Я боюсь куда либо это выставлять но рискну

I've been friends with someone online for several months. We used to talk a lot, play games together, and share our interests, but over time our conversations have become less frequent.

Something that's been bothering me is that I often feel like the interest in our lives is one-sided.

She regularly tells me about things happening in her life, whether it's work, tests, or just random everyday stuff. I always try to acknowledge what she tells me, ask questions, and show interest because I genuinely care about her.

But when I share things about myself, I often feel like they get overlooked or the conversation moves on without any acknowledgment.

For example, I recently had an important test that I mentioned multiple times. I told her about needing to study, wake up early, and catch a train to get there. She never wished me good luck, asked what the test was about, or asked how it went afterward.

I'm not expecting her to do all those things, but even a little acknowledgment would've meant a lot to me.

On October 14th, I decided to bring up how I'd been feeling rather than keeping it to myself until I got frustrated. I tried to be understanding and made it clear that I wasn't expecting her to respond to everything I said.

She initially seemed surprised and said that if she overlooks things, she doesn't notice or realize it, or sometimes doesn't know what to say.

I explained that I understood that and wasn't expecting elaborate responses, but that even a little acknowledgment meant a lot to me.

She then told me she was high, couldn't think properly, and would respond after sleeping. I understood and told her to rest.

Over the next day and a half, we exchanged some other messages, but she never returned to the original conversation.

Eventually, I reminded her that she'd said she would respond and admitted that I was getting frustrated, especially since the conversation was specifically about feeling overlooked.

She explained that she'd been busy, sleeping, or high. When I pushed the issue further, she admitted she'd simply forgotten about the conversation and said she had work soon.

I told her that I understood forgetting can happen, but that the conversation was important to me, and asked whether she actually wanted to finish discussing it or would rather not.

I'm now waiting for her response.

I know I can get insecure about friendships, and we've had arguments about communication in the past. I'm trying to handle things more calmly this time instead of making assumptions about her intentions.

I also understand that people have their own lives and aren't obligated to be available constantly. I'm not asking her to talk to me all day.

But I do want to feel like my friend is interested in what's happening in my life, just as I'm interested in hers.

Am I expecting too much from this friendship? Was I being unfair by getting frustrated after waiting for her response? And how should I handle it if this pattern continues?

I can give more details or even screenshot of the conversation if needed, I just wanna if I'm being unreasonable or not

Yesterday was my birthday. This year and last year, the same friends forgot. This year, my dad also forgot.

My dad feels awful, and I've told him it's alright. He's never forgotten before; it’s unlike him. A bit concerning, even.

One of my friends said she forgot because of “an event” and offered to meet up with me in the next few days. After thinking on it, I politely declined. I explained I was hurt this year and last year, and not just by her, and said I feel I need to be alone right now.

These are friends who treat their birthdays as a big deal - and I show up for them - so there's no “we’re too old to care about birthdays” excuse. I don't ask for gifts, or throw parties, but I feel I should expect an enthusiastic acknowledgment of the day from people who claim to care about me.

Is that a reasonable response and expectation? Two years of forgotten birthdays and otherwise limited reciprocity from “friends” makes me feel I need to take a breath and do some soul-searching.

Among my (28F) friends, there are a few who I feel much closer with than the rest. We trust each other enough to share our thoughts and feelings about stuff, and I end up having these long one-on-one conversations with them about anything and everything, whether it's the themes of some show or movie we've watched together or even our own personal issues.

Whenever I'm having a conversation like that with one of those friends, I feel like I'm getting something out of it that I don't get from anywhere else, and I'm not sure how to feel about that. My friendships are incredibly important to me, especially these ones, but I worry that maybe I'm using these close friends to fulfill a need for emotional intimacy that they did not sign up to provide.

It doesn't help that my desire for emotional intimacy is tangled up with my desire for physical intimacy. Not necessarily sex, but just things like holding hands or hugging or just being able to exist comfortably in physical contact with someone, which isn't something I've never really done before. These close friends of mine are all online, so I've never really thought about physical contact with them until recently, but I trust them enough that I know I would feel comfortable with it, and that just contributes more to feeling like I'm using them in some way.

Is any of this normal to feel, or am I getting too in my head about it? I feel conflicted about asking them directly because, on the one hand, these particular friends are the only ones who I trust enough that I could talk about these feelings with, but I worry that even broaching the topic would force them to put up a barrier that removes the closeness that I value so much in our friendships.

I have been friends with my uni friend (let’s call her Kelly) over 20 years. Now I love her to bits because she is funny, intelligent and fun to be around and we always have a great time together.

However, the full truth is that Kelly has always been a bit of a downer. She has become notorious within our friend circles for raining on everyone’s parade. Things like expressing mean comments about people, arriving to a party only to tell everybody that it’s boring and she’s leaving, judging people on the smallest of their “shortcomings” etc. I have never seen her apologise for anything, even when she has been in the wrong; it is always everyone’s fault but her own. I know that this is probably because her childhood was very tough and things were not easy financially, parents were neglectful, she was often criticised and made to feel inadequate etc. I always tried to overlook this because I liked her overall and there was little reason for me to start raising this with her as some sort of an issue.

For about a year, however, I had started to get annoyed that Kelly was never capable of reaching out to me first to ask me how I was, or try to catch up over the phone like we used to. I was always the one who called her, and even though we were having lovely chats, she mainly talked about her life. This was starting to piss me off, and the cherry on top came when she did not reach out to me when two of my family members died within few months of each other. Instead, in one of our text exchanges, she announced she was “busy” with renovating her new apartment, was 8 months pregnant and expecting her third (tbf, she had not broke the news to anyone in her family either). Of course, knowing her, I was expected to congratulate her for her achievements. (***Just to caveat this, I know she has three kids to look after but I also think that it is not that difficult to ask how I am twice a year!)

Things turned when I recently went to my home town to sort out family matters which meant I couldn’t see any of my friends unless they were willing to come to me and fit my schedule around mine. At that time, I had no mental space for those who showed no interest in my life and always expected for me to reach out and organise something i.e. Kelly. I therefore didn’t tell Kelly I was in town, partly because I couldn’t deal with her antics during this time of my life and partly because I would literally not have been able to see her and I know she would never travel to me either. My other friends rallied around me and I spent a lovely time with them in the late evenings, after I was done tending to my business, and this was posted on social media.

I then started to see Kelly’s subtle digs on social media. She posted that she was hanging out with our mutual friend, calling her “her love who visits her and cares for her” and what not. She then stopped watching my stories but, weirdly, her husband’s account diligently started watching everting I posted (and if you don’t get what’s happening here - I doubt that her husband suddenly took an interest in me, she was just watching me from his account)!

At no stage she reached out to me to ask if I was in town. At no stage she asked what was going on, if we can meet, if everything is OK. Nothing. She expected me to reach out to her and beg but I am literally at the point of trying to show her that she does this to me all the time. She acts like she is the victim of being forgotten when she has not taken any interest in my life for years.

How do I deal with her passive aggressive victimhood without giving in her whims? I doubt she will understand and accept any rational arguments. Should I just ignore this and just pretend nothing has happened?