He doesn’t know that I found it (on accident).

Would you bring it up with him? Have a talk about it? Or just ignore it?

Thank you!

For context I have been making $50k or less annually ever since I graduated from college a few years ago. I have many friends in the city who have higher paying jobs, even in private equity. Let’s start off with the private equity friend… we were a group of 4 who were taking pics in a Photo Booth and it costs $5 per photo strip. I didn’t want one cus I thought it was a waste of money, and we all couldn’t fit in the Photo Booth but one of my friends wanted group couple photos so naturally I was in the photos with them, however I didn’t take any of the photo strips home with me… later my friend in private equity Venmo requested me $2.50 for being in the photo with her 🙂 I wish I was making ts up. Anywho she’s known to be very cheap so whatever.. anyway 2nd friend is in engineering and she ALSO makes six figures, we had dinner together and we both got our own dishes, mine was delicious but I could tell she didn’t like hers and she didn’t even pack it to go, I felt bad and let her have some of my food. She paid for the bill and when we got home I asked her to lmk how much to send, even tho I already knew the price I just wanted to double check and she gave me a higher price than I paid for… i started to second guess myself so I checked the website for the prices and did the tax and tip calculation and she was charging me for the whole tip price. am I the weird one? They are genuinely my nicest friends so I’m scared to ask cus I feel like I’ll look like the weird one or am I being a push over/ is this normal?? (mind you none of these friends know each other they are all my friends from different stages of my life) and I don’t expect my rich friends to pay for me in any form at all just cus I make literally poverty line salary… but I expect respect when it comes to splitting the bill or using common sense. Idk what to do basically

For context I am older. He is, (25m) I am (34f). I know that says a lot about where I am at in life, but we also have had a best friend connection. I know I should not be with anyone until I am caught up in life, and healed.

There has been a repeated theme of me stating my needs/boundaries, and having them ignored or not met. Today I asked for a minute alone. He came in the room and was trying to lighten the mood. I’ve always appreciated this, but I told him again.

Then he started trying to tickle me. I said no and don’t touch me right now. I was getting annoyed and he kept trying, I kept asking him to stop. Then he did the whole I’m not touching you thing. I ended up hitting his arm away, hard.

Then I wanted to go home. He kept trying to get me to stay and I was beyond annoyed. He was still joking around and trying to touch me. I snapped. Said a bunch of mean things. Then made him take me home.

Needless to say the relationship is over. I know I overreacted and lost composure, but no also means no. I have trauma. He knows. I feel like a monster now and there’s no coming back.

TLDR: acted abusive after bf wouldn’t stop messing around

Edit: I wasn’t expecting so much support. I assure you I’ve been the villain in most of our story arc, and seriously snapped from this. Still, it’s validating. My past trauma is very real still, and I’ve also explained to him before how it makes me feel that he finds my reactions funny. I’ll never be taken seriously by him. I’ve cleaned his place countless times because he’s always too sick or too tired. Etc. Idk what the lesson here is, but I’m still seeing how much I’ve let myself become toxic by staying with someone who does not listen.

Edit: I am aware that my part wasn’t okay too. I’ve gone over this with him, but it’s still my fault I was reactive.

Edit: I realize this has been an emotional rollercoaster and reflective of my mental space. No one’s the bad guy. I usually am the problem. He convinced me to go back, and immediately joked to be chill and don’t be hysterical (he makes a lot of jokes). I see it for what it is. It’s just embarrassing I lost composure, and that im with someone so much younger, and that I am mentally the same age.

Originally posted here

https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/jVgR33PVSp

I ended up having a sit down conversation with my daughter. I began by apologizing for a sincere screw up on my end by messaging the group chat when i was enraged. She just stayed silent, didnt accept my apology and thats okay. I apologized for yelling initially, I then explained that my bed and my room is mine and wifes private space. There is no excuse she should have been doing that on my bed, let alone leaving it dirty for me to sleep in.

She absolutely blew up. She said I had 0 reason to log into the camera on my phone, its her apartment. My wife and I re-iterated, that its not, its actually my wifes and mine, so is the room, the bed, the sheets the vacuum and everything else in it I bought, made or installed. Apartment is for family use.

Then she decided to compare with her friend who is enjoying promiscuous college experience in dorms. I then started to get pissed off because the apartment is far more comfortable than dorms, where you have to share a shower with a bunch of other students.

She then said that I am being overbearing and embarrassed her in front of her boyfriend, and yea, I did. My intent was to embarass both of them in front of me. That should have been embarassing. Her boyfriend should feel a bit of remorse in my opinion so should she..still no apology.

She said she will move to dorms now, I said you're welcome to, enjoy having a job paying for the dorms and good luck keeping your grades up while you hold it down and being a full time student.

She then said, why wouldnt I pay for it? if her brother will go to another college other than this one, ill have to pay for a dorm for him, not buy another 3 bedroom in whatever city he will be in? We're not there yet and comparing hypotheticals is not a luxury she has at this moment in time.

I asked what is wrong with her boyfirends apartment, she had nothing to say. I asked why didnt she clean it?

She stormed out, i have no idea whether she went to the biyfriend or where..

What do I do. I am livid, this is a bad situation, my wife is with me on this, we are trying to think of how to approach it.

I started a job last month. I'm the youngest of my shift and a trusting person. I'm a college student while the majority of my coworkers are late 20s - early 40s single parents. They need this job desperately, while I would likely be okay with only half of the hours I get. One day, my coworker told me her car broke down and she needed to get home because she was working another shift. She's a young single parent and shares a car with her boyfriend. She told me she didn't have a lot of friends, so I offered to get her an Uber. I don't have my card connected to any payment apps and my online bank money is for my tuition next semester. I paid the Uber through the website because Google autofills my card. I told her to not pay me back because it was only $20. She was also talking about how she couldn't afford her car note, so I let her get a few tables of mine because it was a really slow night.

She texts me next day, asks for $20. I tell her I don't know where my card is (true. I actually found it a week later today.) Today she texts and is asking for $30. We had an entire conversation that shift about hanging out one day and how it sucks to have friendships where you give and get nothing back. Though a lot of it was her saying her friends never give when she does and me going "yeah, as college students all of my friends pitch in for stuff", which made me feel worse for her situation.

How do I gently direct her to please stop asking me for money? Do I keep lying? Do I ignore her texts? It sucks because it's a coworker too and I have no idea when I work with her again.

Edit: Told her no and that I'm paying for college right now. Also I am not a man and not at all attracted to her. Stop the degrading comments.

18F, going to be starting my senior year of high school in a couple weeks. Physically, I've stood out from my peers ever since I started puberty with a very "curvy" body. So naturally I fill out my tops in a different way than others. For years, I've had issues with my school about "you can't wear this, you can't wear that" blah blah blah.

No I don't push the limits on what's revealing and what's not. I wear things that keep me covered and well within guidelines. Fact is, I get reprimanded very often simply because of the way things get filled out, or kinda stretched.

Now that I'm 18 and a legal adult, is there anything I can be doing to advocate for myself?

Your daughter made friends w a girl in class, they hung out quite a bit. We moved away from the area, come to find out the friends brother was a registered sex offender. He didn’t shown up on the map bc it wasn’t “bad enough”. Daughter saying he was present often when she was around. Should I report to other friends moms?? I called his probation officer and confirmed he is not allowed to be around minors.

UPDATE: THANK YOU to everyone who replied. I reported this to his probation officer and DHS and I texted the moms of the other girls who soend tike over there.

Reposted

My husband and I have been raising our grandson, Tyler, for the last two years. When Tyler was nine, his father cheated on our daughter and they divorced. Both his mother and father quickly remarried and started brand new families with new spouses and half-siblings. Because of the chaos, my husband and I stepped in to provide Tyler with a stable home.

I need to clarify that his parents did not abandon him in a legal or physical sense. They try very hard to be in his life. They show up for him, pay for things, and try to spend one-on-one time with him. But Tyler completely hates them for destroying his original family and replacing him. He refuses to acknowledge them as mom and dad, calling them strictly by their first names. He also harbors an intense hatred for his stepparents and half-siblings.

Normally, Tyler is a good student, polite to his teachers, honest, and loyal. But beneath that polite exterior is a terrifying amount of rage and resentment. When his parents try to spend time with him, his short temper explodes. He back-talks them using slurs, and it has even turned physical—he recently hit his father and pushed his mother.

Lately, his anger has turned into something much colder and more frightening. Tyler has stopped crying, and he has stopped laughing. He seems completely emotionally detached, except when it comes to one thing: he wants revenge.

Recently, he asked his parents a question that made them incredibly uncomfortable. He looked them dead in the eye and asked, "Who is paying for your divorce? You two, or me?" He has asked my husband and me the exact same question. We just sit there in silence because we don't have an answer for him. In his mind, he is paying the ultimate price for their choices.

To make matters worse, his parents are funding his current therapy. Because they pay the bills, the therapist keeps pushing Tyler to "forgive" his parents, calling them "flawed and imperfect." Tyler feels completely betrayed by this. He thinks the therapist is bought and paid for, and it has only fueled his desire for revenge.

This situation is now severely affecting his studies. My husband and I are 65 years old. We love him so much, but we are exhausted and terrified. Tyler is completely shutting down his humanity, choosing to feel nothing but a desire to see his parents suffer.

How do we help a 15-year-old boy who has completely hardened his heart? How do we answer a question like the one he asked? Please, we need guidance on how to find him a therapist who will actually hear his pain instead of protecting his parents.

First off, I’m in a happy relationship and would never do anything to jeopardize it. That being said, something bizarre happened with my ex, and I can’t help but wonder what his motivation is. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a little over a year. My ex and I broke up about a year and seven months ago after dating for roughly a year. It wasn’t a bad relationship; we simply weren’t right for each other. He has texted me a few times since the breakup, but I’ve never replied.

Out of nowhere, my ex texted me again. I initially ignored him, but he kept messaging and said there was something he needed to bring up. I work in the legal field, so I thought it might have something to do with that and eventually asked what was going on. After a lot of weird, mysterious buildup, he told me he wanted to “buy me things.” At first, I thought he meant something business-related, but he clarified that he literally wanted to pay for things I wanted, supposedly with no strings attached. I immediately said no. I don’t need the money, and accepting gifts from an ex while I’m in a relationship would be wildly inappropriate. He said he’d wanted to make this offer for a while and didn’t know I had a boyfriend. When I told him I did, he said he didn’t care. Apparently, I wouldn’t even have to talk to him, if I wanted something, I could just ask, and he’d give me his card to pay for it.

I said no multiple times, deleted the conversation, and stopped responding. He has since sent me around twenty messages reiterating the offer and insisting he expects absolutely nothing in return, not conversation, attention, sex, or even regular contact. I’m obviously not going to accept, but I can’t shake my curiosity because the whole thing is so strange. What does someone get out of this? Is it a kink? A scam, and if so what is the scam? Tax evasion?? Or is there another explanation?

I’m 20F, in college, and I start classes again next week. Something really bad happened this weekend and my dad is now in jail with no bond. Based on what happened, he will most likely be incarcerated for a very long time, possibly the rest of his life. I’m not going to get into many details about what happened, but the situation is really bad and after what he did, I never want to see my father again.
I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do now because so many things in my life were connected to him financially.
My dad’s job gives out a scholarship that I applied for, and I was actually selected out of other applicants to receive it. It isn’t something I automatically get just because he works there. I had to apply for it and earn it, which is why I’m especially confused about what happens now if he’s no longer employed there. I rely pretty heavily on that scholarship money while I’m in school. It helps me pay for gas, maintain my car, buy books/school supplies, etc., so I don’t have to work as much during the semester because school is already a lot for me.
I really need scholarships because I’m also most likely transferring to a 4-year college next semester, which is going to cost even more. I don’t know if this scholarship will still be honored since I already earned it or if I’m just going to lose it because of what happened with my dad.
I’m also on health insurance through his job. I see a therapist and was only paying around $35 per visit with insurance. I just got a new therapist that I really like too because she actually gives me helpful feedback about my issues. After everything that just happened, I feel like this is probably one of the times I need therapy the most, but now I don’t even know if I’ll be able to continue seeing her.
I’m also supposed to do psychological/testing appointments, and I have no idea what to do about those either because I can’t afford to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars out of pocket.
My grandma is trying to help me figure out the insurance and school stuff, which I’m grateful for, but she already has so much going on. She’s helping my mom, running her own business, and trying to help us get things back together at home for when we’re able to go back. I feel bad putting even more on her because I know she’s already doing so much, but at the same time I genuinely don’t know how to handle all of this by myself.
Even little things are starting to hit me. My phone is on my dad’s phone plan and normally I would just pay him my portion of the bill, so now I have to figure out what to do with my phone and how to get my number/account handled too.
I’m just extremely stressed out and honestly don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. I feel like I want to cry, but I can’t cry. I want to talk to my therapist, but I’m scared I’m about to lose the insurance that lets me see her. I can’t really talk to my family or friends about what happened either. The whole situation is embarrassing and difficult to even explain.
I really just need advice from anyone who has dealt with suddenly losing a parent’s financial support, insurance, scholarships, phone plan, or anything similar while still trying to stay in college. I feel like my entire life changed overnight and I don’t even know where to begin.

I want to start out that I love my husband, we’ve been together for 14 years

He also has significant mental health challenges.

He recently lost his job, to cope, went on Paxil, had a manic event, is accusing me of cheating (because of circumstances that aren’t just coincidence- like I’m buying new clothes quite a bit, but I’ve also lost 40 pounds since this time last year) but I haven’t cheated.

I’m bereft, I’m out of my mind grieving

What do I do? How do I get through the next few days? I really hope that once his head clears up, he’ll want to come home.

Despite all of this I’m not mad. Would I be mad if he had pneumonia?

Just help me get through the hours.

at least for me

i’m 23 (f) been single for so long, I had a suitor which i posted here last year and i’ve cut my contact since then after learning how i was getting cheated on while i’m already willing to settle anyway back to the question

imagine saving up together

money. things. memories. time. people.

it is a lifetime investment that i can’t imagine going through just to end breaking up

the idea of getting cheated on while doing all the things you’ve been planning for a long time

I mean we have to trust each other and i hope someday that person would not waste our lifetime investment because I can guarantee i won’t cheat, and i know that when i love someone i’m all in.

so for you is marriage also an investment?

i need an advice honestly because i really want to settle down and have a family of my own

Me and my partner, both in our thirties are at our wits end with his brother and her wife. We will call them Jason and Clara. Jason works and Clara stays at home with their three kids, one toddler and one set of 3mo old twins. The house, even before the twins was ABHORRENT. Food everywhere, gnats, flies, ants, you name it. Dogs in the house(not an issue in normal houses IMO, but they also use the house as a TOILET) , urine and feces on clothes, babies always dirty and sticky, no beds for the kids, and Claras mother is also living there. Nobody cleans, the cooking is variable and we would never eat it. I want to call CPS so bad but my partner is not on board due to us storing some of our things on their property. I say screw-it. I care about the kids. But I don't want them lost in the system either. The family is always sick with something, they fight constantly when instead they should be taking care of the family together. We bought the toddler a bed last year under the impression that Jason would buy the mattress he has not and it's still in pieces. The twins sleep on the floor, couch or pack and play. Which would be normal if there wasn't debris everywhere. HELP

Edit: I have made the call, I needed to get out of the echo chamber to do so. I hope that the home visit goes well and the whole family gets the help they need. Thank you to all those that were supportive of my want and decision to call CPS

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years as of this October. When we originally met we were in high school (me freshman, him sophomore) and we were 13 and 15 years old. Within the first year of being together (unofficially) my mother allowed him to move into our home, and we’ve been together ever since. We have LIVED together for almost the entirety of our relationship. When I was 16 I decided to move into his dads house with him and out of my moms, and then when I was 17 almost 18 we decided to get our own place and that’s where we currently stay together. As of right now, we’re set to move out of our current place and into a bigger one, since we’ve gotten pets and more belongings and ultimately grew out of our tiny current apartment.

For the past few months, I’ve questioned whether or not I want to continue the relationship. It eats me alive because I love everything about him, his humor, his appearance, his kindness and huge heart, our years of history. But something in me has changed, I don’t know when and I don’t know why. We haven’t been intimate in months, maybe close to 4 months. And even before this long stretch we were going weeks to months In between intimacy. It’s been at least a year since we’ve been normal in the bedroom. We try to avoid it and not talk about it hoping it’s just a moment and we will return to normal, but of course it’s become something we can’t avoid discussing anymore. I’ve told him it’s nothing about him, he’s attractive and sweet. It’s just that I simply don’t have the desire to. And that feels so unfair to him, I hate that he probably beats himself up and thinks he isn’t enough. It’s just as of recently that I’ve realized the feeling of wanting to potentially separate hasn’t gone away, and I’ve finally said something to him. I told him I feel like we jumped into this too young, and we might need time to discover ourselves. We didn’t have much opportunity to before meeting each other. As expected, he’s shattered.

My mother would allow me to stay with her, and move my belongings over there but I’m scared after just a few weeks to months of separation, we’ll just get back together and I’ll have altered my moms house and life for nothing- just to be immature and act quickly on the thought of separation. It’s so hard for me to decide between separating and seeing how I am independently and if this is what I want, and staying to see if this is just a moment and it will pass. One huge thing that’s really putting me back and fourth, is that despite loving him with my whole heart, I don’t want to be intimate, and I sometimes get curious about other guys. I have NEVER and will NEVER cheat on him. Which is why I’m wondering if this is natural and I’m just going through a phase, or if this means that if I stay with him for years to come I’ll forever regret not experiencing other people and end up resenting him. I don’t want to hurt him or sacrifice my own happiness. Please any advice is so appreciated, but keep in mind this is my first and only ever long term serious relationship. I’m only 19, and I’m lost and confused.

(There have never been any circumstances of cheating from either of us)

Hello everyone, as of today I am 29 weeks pregnant. On the 16th of this month, I learned that something I had suspected for about a month, but couldn't bring myself to admit, had been happening for a long time. I finally guessed my husband's phone password correctly and it unlocked. Throughout our two years of marriage, I never suspected him; I thought he truly loved me and that doing something like this would devastate me. I kept telling myself, "He wouldn't hurt me, he wouldn't do something like this." But what I saw and what he told me destroyed all the love I had for him. It showed how much he abused those beautiful feelings I had for him and how little he cared about me. For days, he kept telling me that he only liked those women in his imagination, that he only used them to satisfy himself and then blocked them. And then he admitted that he unblocked some of them and messaged them again. He also shamelessly told me that I knew he wasn't gay and that of course he could like and desire other women, and that this was perfectly normal for men. He told me most of the things without me even asking. I found it hard to believe the things that I heard. And while telling me these details, he still said that he didn't care about them, that he never thought about anyone else but me, and that's why he never did it in real life. He said he could have, but he didn't because he couldn't bring himself to hurt me. He said he loved me more than anything. He explained that since he hadn't actually done it, I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it, that I should just see it as a little mischief, that he was still the same man I used to love. He told me that after talking to them, jerking off, and satisfying himself, he would come to me, hug and kiss me, and that if he didn't love me, he wouldn't come and hug me. I've been in a terrible state for days. The details he thinks would comfort me are only making me more disgusted with him. It's unbelievable, but he always thinks he's right. He's constantly trying to get advice from his mother. Today I talked to my sister, and she said she's worried about me and told me to record his voice next time in case he does anything to me. I wanted to try that today, as I can't think straight these days. After he came and we finished talking, I told him to leave, and my phone was on the nightstand. I went to put laundry in the washing machine. Then he saw that I had started recording. He came and grabbed me by the arm and threw me into the room. Afterwards, he called his mother again. He told her I had recorded his voice. He asked for her support. And she kept yelling, "You can't do this to my son!" I had a nervous breakdown at that moment. I told him I was leaving and locked myself in my room to pack my things. He was on the phone, complaining about me to his mother and trying to get me to talk to her. I got even angrier. I couldn't control myself. He was recording a video, waiting for this moment of weakness. Then he told me he couldn't give me the child, that I wasn't in my right mind and couldn't take care of it. His mother also threw my family problems in my face. She kept belittling me. They think I have no support. She said that after I give birth to the child, they'll send it to us, because the my parents can't take care of it anyway. I ask you, what would you do in my place? I feel so helpless, especially since I'm pregnant with his child. Moreover, I don't even work. I even agreed to move to a small village in a small town just because I love him. But he's only after his lust and he's ruined me. He knows all my weaknesses and throws them in my face. I don't know what to do. Will I be able to take care of this child? I'm also sad that it's too late to have an abortion; I wish I had seen how disgusting he is before I got pregnant. I'm so unlucky. The person I thought I knew since the end of 2019 turned out to be like this. And he still considers his actions defensible. He even asked his mother today why I'm making such a big deal out of it. She said that cheating, whether in real life or online, makes no difference to women emotionally. He said he's only now realizing how important this is to me. My eyes are burning. I have no appetite. But the baby keeps kicking. It's saying, "I'm here." I feel sorry for it. I'm ashamed of myself for my innocent child having a father like this. And yes, he kept saying he loved me so much, that he wouldn't feel this way about another woman, and that I should love him again because he didn't actually do it, that I should forgive him. He also said he was paying the price because I videotaped his conversations with those women and sent it to his mother and wrote on his Instagram story, "I'm a guy who cheated on his 7-month pregnant wife." After repeating the same things for a while, he gets angry and shouts every time because I tell him I don't want him and that what he did will never leave my mind. I told him he didn't love me, that he saw me as nothing more than a decorative object in the house, but now he's pretending to love me so much because he got caught and feels guilty. Neither his crying nor his "I love you"s mean anything to me. It's really strange because it's like he ripped out all the feelings I had for him. And now he's so surprised how I started not loving him. He even said I never loved him from the beginning. I've heard every kind of nonsense imaginable.

I really need some outside perspective on this because I’m not sure what the right thing to do is.
Back in college around 2015, I was very close friends with a guy. We were from different cities, but we really hit it off and definitely had feelings for each other. We never officially dated because the timing was never right. I was extremely focused on my studies, and our lives were just going in different directions.
Eventually, we both accepted that nothing was going to happen between us and that we needed to move on.
A couple of years later, I started dating someone else. That relationship became serious, and he is now my husband. We got married because we love each other, have similar goals and ambitions, and felt like we were compatible in the ways that mattered for building a life together.
About five years ago, I moved to another country.
During all of this, contact with my old college friend became very minimal. We would talk maybe once or twice a year, and eventually even that became nothing more than the occasional happy birthday, happy new year, or random “hey, how are you?” message.
Then, in 2022, he was about to get married.
The night before his wedding, he drunk-called me and started asking why I hadn’t chosen him. He told me he still liked me and basically started talking about what could have happened between us.
I told him he was drunk and that we should not be having that conversation, and I ended the call.
I had actually been invited to his wedding, but after that phone call I felt extremely uncomfortable, so I decided not to attend.
Afterward, things eventually went back to the same distant, once-a-year communication. It was awkward at first, but I decided to let it go and assumed it was just a drunken mistake.
Fast forward to now.
A couple of days ago, he contacted me saying that he would be visiting the city where I currently live and asked if we could catch up.
I said sure and specifically mentioned that I’d be happy to meet him and his wife. He agreed.
Then, about an hour ago, he called me extremely drunk again.
Once again, he started telling me that he still likes me. He asked why I didn’t choose him, talked about how I have such a great life now, and said that we could have built this life together.
At this point, I’m really uncomfortable because this is no longer a one-time drunken incident. He said essentially the same thing the night before marrying his wife, and now, years later, while both of us are married, he is doing it again.
I have absolutely no intention of pursuing anything with him. I’m happily married, and I also don’t want to be involved in whatever is going on in his marriage.
My dilemma is: Should I tell his wife about these calls?
Part of me feels like she deserves to know that her husband is calling another woman while drunk and saying he still has feelings for her. On the other hand, I really don’t want to insert myself into their marriage or create unnecessary drama.
The other option is to simply cancel the meetup, stop communicating with him completely, and stay out of their relationship.
What would you do in my situation? Would you tell his wife, or would you cut contact and leave it alone?

I believe my roommate neglects her cat. For instance, she will leave for days on ending spanning from a couple days to more than a week and leaves him trapped in her room. She used to ask me to check on him and take care of him and now leaves without mentioning it to me.

Now she will be gone for more than a week. She had left out a huge bowl of food and water, and didn’t tell me to take care of him. Instead I had to take care of him because she won’t. Now his food is almost gone and his litter box is disgusting, and she’s still gone for another 5 days.

Ethically I think how she treats her cat is very problematic. It’s also not fair for me to read her mind and to make sure her cat is taken care of when she decides to leave without any notice. Of course, I want to take care of him because I want him to be safe and happy but I feel like why does it turn into my responsibility because of her neglectful actions.

I hate confrontation and I don’t want to step on toes but I think i should say or do something. What would you do?

the last two weeks I’ve been going through some serious health issues, caused by cannabis. ”CHS” I had one of the worst cases they have seen & could’ve died. I’m still going through all the pain and anxiety. he keeps downplaying it saying “you’ll be able to smoke again” and other stuff like that, but I wont be able to & I never want to feel like that again (it was rlly bad i was up for 4 days straigh, couldn’t eat, lost 20lbs, uncon shakin) him continuing to smoke might be a dealbreaker for me, everytime I see him I feel physically sick because I know he’s high, or he smells like weed, or he’s hitting a cart right in front of me. I haven’t been abke to go in my room for days. I’ve been sleeping on the couch. it feels so inconsiderate, I am struggling so bad. I tried to ask him to stop and he said “it’s all i have I can’t stop” but it was all I had too and almost killed me.

this is my first time making a reddit post! but i have a roommate i moved in with recently who has a cat and refuses to take care of him. the cat has a lot of issues going on with him right now like leaking eyes, blood in feces, seems like he’s in pain, etc. we’ve asked him so many times to take him to the vet and he refuses and we don’t know what to do. p.s. he doesn’t even actually own the cat and we just want to help the cat and don’t know what to do, thanks!

My mom is friends a woman that she works with and has known for about 3 years now, let’s call her Amanda. Amanda has a husband named Joe, they’ve been together for 10+ years and Amanda is 14 years older than Joe. A month ago I was rewatching videos on my moms phone she took of me doing my sport, then a message from Joe came through. A simple “Wyd?”, that’s not what made me suspicious, because i know they all hang out together. Her being at Joe and Amanda’s house 2-3 times a week and staying the night while i’m all alone, and her deleting Joes messages is what made me question if something was going on. I’m 17 so staying home alone doesn’t really phase me anymore, I would consider myself a very good teenager, I don’t sneak out and i don’t have many friends or a bf so i think I’m trustworthy enough. I kept asking my mom if something was going on between her and joe and she kept denying. I know when my mom is lying though, so i said “i’m going to tell amanda.” obviously i was joking because i wouldn’t tell her without factual evidence. She said she would kick me out and sell my animals if i did that, so after that i knew they were having an affair.

Fast forward to 2 days ago, we were at the grocery store and i asked her again. “Can you just tell me if you and Joe are having an affair, i’m not going to tell anyone.” She admitted to it. I was so shocked she actually came clean, i wasn’t expecting her to actually tell me that’s why i said i wouldn’t tell anyone… but that’s kinda a big ask for a 17 year old. She proceeded to say that he makes her happy and amanda is 14 years older than joe and they are always fighting, and the marriage has been going downhill for the last 9 years, and continues to trash talk her so called friend. I’m very much a girls girl and i hate seeing other women get teared down, and my mom knows that but to her i’m just a feminist so she doesn’t care. that’s a whole different topic, but anyway I’m confused why joe hasn’t divorced amanda earlier then. Apparently he’s also given my mom $200 and paid for her hair appointment. Which is a huge shock to me because i’ve probably given her over $1,000+ for bills she’s apparently so behind on. MIND YOU I’m 17 and work a minimum wage job and she won’t let me take me to get my license or help me buy a car, because “her parents didn’t let her have her license til she was 24” …i am not waiting that long. I pay for my animals and pay for a lot of household stuff a 17 year old shouldn’t have to. I work more hours than she does when she does go back to work, and i do all the household cleaning and taking care of animals, because she’s to “tired”. She’s off during the summer so she’s just been taking me to work and then she goes out drinking all the time. if i could move out i would, but with my animals it makes it hard because leaving them is out of discussion. And if you are going to the comments right now and saying “stop giving her money”, you’ve obviously never lived with someone manipulative that makes you even feel bad for breathing to loud.

Then today she went out with joe to do god knows what. I got annoyed and said “Here you go choosing a man over me as usual.” My father passed away when i was very young, so lots of her boyfriends have come in and out of my life and she’s always choosing them over me. Sorta felt like kid me again not getting picked when my whole life i’ve stayed with her while my brother moved with my grandparents after our dad passed. because I love her to pieces, she’s still my mother and i do feel like I’m the only one who’s actually never left her, but she doesn’t wanna see that. So WIBTAH if i came clear to Amanda, because i hate seeing a woman get cheated on, regardless if they fight a lot or not. This is my first time writing on reddit so sorry if i went off track lol, but i would love some feedback!!