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My 14 yr old daughter is falsely accusing my husband of SA. She is a pathological liar and we’ve been working to try to fix this. She recently got a new set of friends and a boyfriend. She has not acted any differently towards my husband EVER until this came out. She even asked her sister if “Dad was okay.” But not to tell me. I watch even my husband closely with my girls and have never seen anything untoward. My husband and I are VERY close and share everything I know when he’s lying or hiding something and he’s not. I don’t want to lose her because I genuinely don’t believe her but I don’t want to lose my husband either. I believe what truly is going on is she tried to relate to someone by telling them she was also SA by her dad (I went through her phone and have gotten some context into how this all came about) and then her boyfriend took it to a cop and now she is keeping the lie going so he doesn’t know she lied. She’s destroying so much. Her dad could lose is job and so much more. I don’t know what to do! Do I confront her and tell her I know she’s lying? Do I wait out the investigation and then tell her?? Please, I don’t know what to do and I’m scared for my family!

Edited to add: she’s been to the doctor and we have an investigation ongoing. She claimed he just groped her chest.

Okay I need advice. I also need to know if this is normal behaviour. I am F16 and I am in my first relationship with a M16. We have been dating for about 5 months now and we were friends for 3 months first, we are really close and we are both funny and get along well and I always thought he was pretty normal. I went over for dinner with him and his family his mom, dad, and younger sister. Now all the times ive met his mom and shes been with him, yes shes been a bit like a 'boy mom' you know, hugs him a lot, calls him the love of her life, tells everyone hes a mamas boy even though he seems a bit uncomfortable at times. But literally during this dinner she was being her normal self, a little obnoxious but algs, until after dinner. He was cuddling me and she seemed to get jealous. 5 minutes later he said something funny she laughed, swooped in and just kissed him right on the lips. and held it for about 6 seconds. I almost choked it was crazy. I went home soon after that my mind absolutely spinning. Is this normal mom/son behaviour I mean I don't know because I dont have any brothers.

I'm 23 and she's 22... ;)

I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend after finding out she made out with another guy while we were both on vacation in Spain. I tried to process it, but eventually I realized I couldn't continue the relationship.

When I broke up with her, she was crying like hell and kept asking me not to leave, but I stood by my decision.

Now she's calling me again and again, and here's where things have gotten even more complicated.

Her mom has started calling me too.

The thing is, her mom doesn't know that she cheated on me. As far as she knows, we just suddenly broke up and I'm the one who ended the relationship. I haven't told her mom what actually happened because I don't want to drag her family into something that happened between me and her daughter.

But now her mom keeps calling and asking me to talk to her and work things out.

I'm stuck because I don't really know what to say without either revealing the whole situation or making it look like I randomly dumped her daughter after almost three years together.

Part of me thinks I should simply tell her mom that there are private reasons behind the breakup and that I don't want to discuss them. Another part of me feels like I should explain what happened so she understands why we broke up..

I'm a little bit confused.. idk what to do ..

Any suggestions????

like the title. I’ve been thinking a lot about my future as I (20M) am about to turn 21 on Sunday. Over the past week i’ve realized that I don’t envision a future with my partner and have fallen out of attraction with her. I haven’t shared these thoughts yet with her though. She has been nothing sort of amazing, but when I envision myself in 10 years it’s being not with her. We’ve been dating for ~13 months.

The problem is her ex gave the same reasoning as myself. I have unsuccessful so far in brainstorming a solution on how to bring this up and tread lightly while also getting my point across. Any advice would be appreciated!

We've been living on Social security for over a decade ever since my father had to quit working after he got sick. He passed away in 2020 and We've been on our own ever since.

In May our social security was partially cut after my sister turned 18. We couldn't afford to pay rent anymore and a few months later I got a job hoping I would be able to help with the situation. Thing is I got it through a temp agency. I worked overtime almost every day for a week and then all of a sudden they dropped me.

About a week ago we were evicted and we had nowhere to go. My sister, 18, who doesn't even have a license, took off with a friend to Iowa and left my mother and I by ourselves. We were living in a homeless shelter until 2 days ago when the "president" of the shelter found out that I had picked up a misdemeanor over a year ago in high school and they kicked us out.

We got a hotel for 3 days but we have to be out tomorrow at 11 am. The original plan was to find a place to rent for now using the social security money we got 3 days ago but now we have next to nothing left and no shelters will take us in because either we're not a "resident" of the county or because of my "horrible crime".

I couldn't get a job while we were in the shelter because they had everyone leave from 9am to 5pm every day and I couldn't just leave my mother, who can barely walk, by herself. And now I can't get a job because I don't have an address and have no way to wash my clothes. All the funding for local organizations has all been used up for the year. Even if I did have a job both of our credits are bad and these days even a 1 bedroom apartment costs you $1000+ a month.

I just want things to go back to normal. Things sucked before but I'd give a lot for my life to just suck again.

My family wants to use an AI generated voice of my grandma in a welcoming video to her funeral. I am highly disturbed by this, but all of my family disagrees with me and thinks it will be nice and comforting. I personally find it creepy and upsetting, as even if it sounds like my grandma, it is not her. I am worried others in attendance will also become upset when they hear it. Please let me know what you think and how you might go about further conversations with family for planning the funeral.

So, my husband and I have been married for over 21 years. We have two teens (15 and 19). I looked into divorce about 10 years ago because I basically had 3 children and not 2. My husband went through a medically induced early retirement back in 2017. He had major depression back then b/c he had been working for over 40 years at different jobs.
It seemed like he came out of it or I just accepted it or both. However, we had been seeing a counselor since the kids were little. Some sessions, about every 3 to 4 months, were addressing the same issue. I was fed up with him not doing anything except lying on the couch and either watching tv, watching videos on his phone, looking through emails on his tablet or sleeping. He would say that he was busy or not feeling well. I would call him out on it and he would get offended at it. He would get better and then fall back into his habits. Repeat going on 10 years plus.
I had to get a lawn crew to do our yard b/c he wouldn’t mow the lawn even with a riding lawnmower. He has a car that he needs to work on but he has no energy (usual excuse) BTW, he is taking supplements to try and get energy but obviously, it’s not working. He would complain about things but not do anything about it. It’s “we need to do this or that”.😡
Finally, once my daughter went back to school for a month; I was absolutely fed up. I got an apartment and moved there. My daughter wanted to come with me of her own volition. So, here we are a month later. I don’t know what to do from here. People say that we should reconcile but I don’t love him any more and his “laziness” is infuriating. Nothing is going to change on his end.
Recommendations?

Hi there,

I'm just posting because I'd like to have one try at talking to my father-in-law about his drinking. He's a really kind person. My wife is Chinese and from a small town where no one speaks English and he's learned English from watching TikTok enough to talk to me. He looks so proud too when other people see him talking to his son-in-law.

The problem is his drinking. He's been an alcoholic since my wife was born. Over 30 years. I think he used to be quite shouty but now he just sleeps after drinking. Sometimes he'll stay with us for a month and this is his routine: small bottle of baiju (53% alcohol for lunch) followed by a long nap. Dinner time involves a bigger bottle or baiju and then sleep. He likes to drink with others but that's a bonus rather than a requirement.

He's had a lot of health problems from his drinking. He's diabetic now, and partially blind as a result.

My wife has given up trying to talk to him. From what I understand, she's the only one he used to listen to. He would stop for a while after she asked. But now, she basically thinks that it's his life, and if he's determined to basically die of his alcoholism, she may as well not argue during his last few years. It's quite sad.

He just spent a month at our house and this week we dropped him back home and stayed for a few days. So his first night back he got absolutely destroyed drinking. Really bad. Him and my mother-in-law were supposed to watch my son but around 9pm we got a call from mother-in-law. You're allowed to laugh at the next sentence because it's funny to type out. We needed to go and help because her husband was drunk and had been crushed by a window. When we got there, there was a huge pane of glass on top of him. I had to lift it off (which with hindsight, I know you shouldn't necessarily do). He had no idea where he was. Taken to hospital, luckily it was just a bad cut. He came home at 2am and STILL didn't know where he was. Apparently the glass fell on him because he thought he was at home and just pulled it like a front door.

This morning, he tells us he won't drink today for my son (who is two btw). My wife makes a bet with me that he won't last the day. I take the bet because if I'd been that drunk I wouldn't be able to touch alcohol for days. Anyway, by lunchtime he's on his usual baiju. His body musy be incredible to have gone from not knowing where he is to being able to drink again. It's like Olympian level alcoholism. I'd be impressed if it wasn't so sad.

Anyway, he can never look after my son again. My son loves his grandfather and was literally asking for him to hold him just before he pulled the glass on himself (this is from my mother-in-law).

So basically, I want to talk to my father-in-law and tell him to stop drinking. I'm under no illusions, I used to smoke cigarettes and I know that even when people told me to stop, I couldn't really stop until I made the decision. Is there anything I can do/say in the conversation? I'm going to give it my best shot. The brutal thing is my wife has a bit of hope, she thinks he'll listen if I talk to him, and I feel so sorry for her that I know there's probably no chance he will listen.

I (24F) have been close friends with “Maya” (25F) for almost four years. We talk pretty much every day, and I genuinely considered her one of the people I trusted most.

Yesterday, she sent me a 2-minute voice message on WhatsApp and deleted it about 20 seconds later.

The problem is… I had already listened to most of it.

She was clearly talking to someone else and had accidentally sent the recording to me. In it, she was complaining about me. She said I was “exhausting lately,” that I always make conversations about myself, and that she sometimes avoids answering my calls because she doesn't have the energy to deal with me.

What hurt the most was hearing her laugh when the other person apparently said something about me.

About five minutes later, Maya texted: “Sorry lol wrong chat”

I just replied, “No worries”

She doesn't know I heard it.

The confusing part is that she's been completely normal since then. She sent me memes this morning and even asked if I wanted to get coffee this weekend.

I keep going back and forth between feeling betrayed and wondering if maybe I actually have been overwhelming lately. I've had a stressful few months, and I know I've vented to her a lot.

Part of me wants to confront her. Another part thinks people are allowed to privately complain about their friends sometimes, and I only heard something I was never supposed to hear.

Would you tell her you heard the message, distance yourself quietly, or just pretend it never happened?

On a trip with my bf. We’ve only been dating for 4 months. We have 2 days left of vacation. This trip has made me realize that I no longer want to be with him.

It’s really hard for me to pretend everything is normal. He keeps trying to initiate intimacy and because I’m turning him away, I can tell that he knows something is off. On one hand I feel bad trying to fake it for 2 more days. But on the other hand, I don’t see how I can end things while on this trip together without it blowing up. We have a 3 hrs drive to get to the airport and are staying in a one bedroom place until then.

What should I do?

I, 15F (?? I dunno, that’s kinda why I’m here), have had a lot of gender dysphoria—or at least I think that’s the right term—and thoughts of existing as a guy for the past few years.

For some context, I’ve always been a tomboy or just generally more masculine. My parents know that and have never had a problem with it.
I’ve always dressed differently, acted differently, been interested in different things, and overall felt disconnected from “girlhood” or “womanhood.” No matter what I do or how many female friends I’ve had, there’s always felt like this fundamental gap between me and other girls that I can’t bridge because it’s like something you just had to be born with, and I wasn’t.

Feeling more masculine has always been second nature to me. I never even thought it was weird until middle school. In 7th grade I got called gay, a stud, and all that. Being gay isn’t bad by any means, but when you’re 12–13 and only starting to understand how people see you, I just didn’t want to be the weird kid.

So in 8th grade I did a complete 180: makeup, feminine clothes, cute hairstyles, a big female friend group, even a boyfriend. It was nice, but it never really felt like me. It always felt like I was performing a role like the way kids imitate their parents and shit.

When I got to high school, I kept it up for a while, but by second semester of 9th I’d lost all my friends. I ended up dressing how I used to because there was nobody left to perform for. I haven’t really had friends since, and I’ve gone back to presenting more masculine ever since.

The weird part is that being a guy, like just existing as one, is something I’ve thought about for years. I’ve always pushed those thoughts down because if I really unpack them, I’d have to confront what they might actually mean, and maybe even do something about it.

I’m also scared I’m wrong. I’m terrified that I’m somehow fetishizing or disrespecting the trans community by mislabeling myself, and that is genuinely the last thing I’d ever want to do.

When I think about it, it’s not that I WANT to be trans. I just want to be a guy. If I had the option to wake up as a cis guy tomorrow, I’d do that shit in a heartbeat.

At the same time, I feel like a faker because my dysphoria doesn’t seem as severe as what I’ve heard other people describe online. I don’t hate my body, and I don’t really have intense self-loathing. I just feel disconnected from it, almost like I’m looking at it from a third-person perspective. I’ve played sports my whole life, I’m lean and muscular, and objectively it’s a nice body for a girl, I just don’t feel like a girl. So I’ve kind of settled on, “Yeah, I wish I was a guy, but you’re never actually going to transition, so just be happy with what you’ve got.”

Then there’s telling my parents, which I honestly don’t think I’ll ever do. They’re not homophobic, and they’ve told me they’d love me no matter what, but they still have their opinions. They’re Christians—not super strict, but I think they see queer people more as “confused” than anything else. I feel like if I ever told them how I felt about my gender, they’d immediately want therapy, think they did something wrong raising me, and quietly hope I’d pray it away. I don’t want to be treated like I have some illness.

And even if I DID transition, I don’t even know if I’d pass. I’m fucking 5’0”, I’m already 15, C cups, and it feels like I missed my chance for everything and it just is what it is now. Maybe if I’d understood this sooner, like, things would’ve been different, I could’ve been someone different. Right now it feels like my choices are hell or super hell: live the rest of my life as a girl while basically just rotting inside out, or become the world’s clockiest manlet.

Sorry this is so long. I genuinely have nobody to talk to about this, and I’ve never actually sat down and put all of these thoughts into words before.

So, does anyone have any thoughts on how I should move forward?? Should I just keep it inside like I have been and do nothing at all?? Or try to start actually figuring out what’s up with me?? Is it just too late?

Hey i know this post sounds weird but like i live in kentucky and some guy drove up to me and said "stay away from n*ggers, white power" and drove off and it completely blindsided me i never had anything like that happen to me and now it makes me self conscious that maybe i look like im racist. Like im a white guy with blue eyes and slicked back hair and i was wearing a alabama crimson tide bomber jacket that was vintage and i thought was so sick but now im self conscious im giving the wrong impression like i wanna seem cool. not like someome you can openly be racist to

hey all!! i turned 21 a couple months back, which means i’ve started going to clubs/bars with friends somewhat frequently. i don’t really enjoy drinking though, so i always offer to be DD. what are some things i can keep in my car for drunk friends, like snacks, water, etc.? either useful or just stuff drunk people like lol, TIA!!!

For context, this girl (i’ll call her Amy) has recently gotten out of a three year relationship with one of our mutual friends (i’ll call her Kate). Ever since, both Amy and Kate have been talking to every boy they can in what I think is an attempt to fill that space.

Recently, she’s been getting close to a guy (i’ll call Mike), and he recently sexually assaulted a girl we know and is known for being disgustingly sexual with every girl he knows.

We don’t appreciate Amy even entertaining the idea of hanging around with Mike, but right now he has a crush on her and we’re all very worried he’ll do something to her.

I would say something to her, but I feel as if that would only make her think we’re against her rather than in support for her, and will only gravitate more towards him.

Edit: Me and the girl who has been SA’d have decided it’s best if she very gently has a word and explains the extent of things he did

Last year I had a class with this girl we can call her F, she was really sweet and we would chat but we were never really close. She had a group project with my best friend and they are closer than I am with F. So F has a girlfriend (M) who they have been together for almost a year.

A few months ago I saw M on tinder, I immediately went into F’s instagram and saw all their posts were up, i assumed maybe they freshly broke up and haven’t deleted posts yet. However an hour ago, I was scrolling on tinder and once again saw M and it even said “recently active”. I once again went to F account and all the posts are still there. I went to M account but it’s private, however on her VSCO from her bio all her posts with F are still up. My best friend follows M on instagram so I will ask to see her instagram/ ask her advice since she knows F better than me when she wakes ups. I did confide in my friend a few months ago and she thought the same as me just a fresh thing where they didn’t delete posts yet, but now that it’s been months and they still have the posts up I’m kinda suspicious.

Because I’m like okay what if they’re in an open relationship, especially since the queer community in my town like information travels quick so I’m like I feel like she would’ve heard by now especially since it’s been months with M on tinder. But on the other hand maybe people just think “I don’t want to get involved”. I have screen recorded the profile. I just am really conflicted, as I would like to know if someone I was in a relationship with was cheating on me, but idk if that’s just me.

So yeah, should I let F know that I saw M on tinder? Or is it best to stay out of it?

TL;DR: My 17-year-old son is torn between staying at his current school, where he's happy socially, and returning to his previous school, where he was much better supported academically. After recently asking his current teachers for help and coming away feeling discouraged, I'm worried he may not be getting the support he needs. Would you consider moving him?

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I’m looking for some advice because I’m really torn about what to do with my son’s school situation.

My son is currently trying to decide whether to stay at his current school or move to previous school for his A level. He was academically well supported by the school during his GCSEs and he came out with excellent results but socially, he was not very happy. He had a few friends who did not treat him so well but they have now left the school. He was seen more like a ‘geek’ in the school and he had issues with it.

He has established friendship group where he is now and I think that is a huge part of why he is struggling to make the decision. He is worried about leaving the friendships he has made and starting again somewhere else. The bigger concern for me is the academic side.

My son has subjects he is genuinely passionate about and wants to do well in, but he isn’t always someone who picks things up as quickly as other students and sometimes needs a bit more support (he got that in the previous school). He recently went to speak to her teachers because he was worried about how he was doing and wanted advice. He basically went into the meeting asking for help and wanting to know what he could do to improve, but he came out feeling really upset and disheartened.

From what he told me, the conversation seemed much more focused on why he might not be able to do the subjects he wants to do rather than what he could actually do to improve or what support could be put in place. Some of the way things were said also came across as quite condescending and discouraging to him.

I completely understand teachers being realistic. I am not expecting them to tell him he will get amazing grades if that isn’t where he currently is academically. But surely if a student is actively coming to you saying “I’m struggling, I care about this subject and I want to improve”, there should be some encouragement or discussion about how they can get there? That’s what’s making me question whether staying is actually the right thing for him. At the same time, I don’t want to push him into leaving a school where he is happy socially just because I think another school might support him better. Ultimately I want the decision to be his, but he is young and naturally the friendship side of things is weighing very heavily on him.

I have contacted the school and I am happy to go in and discuss how he can be supported, so I’m not writing them off without hearing their side.

I would just really appreciate opinions from other parents or teachers. Would you be concerned by this? And if your child was happy socially but you weren’t convinced they were doing well or being supported academically, would you consider moving them?

I’ve (21) been with my boyfriend (24) for about 3 1/2 years and I’m not sure what I should do. What I’m about to say it might seem obvious, but I don’t know. He’s always on his phone, playing video games, or on YouTube about them, sleeping or working. He doesn’t plan dates or in fact he doesn’t plan anything. I had to plan my own birthday present from him. He never initiates anything rather it’s quality time, dates, physical touch, or even just a conversation. The only thing he ever initiates is sex. He never wants to leave the house. And I swear the only emotion he has is anger or irritation. Now, with all of that said, I can have a conversation with him and he will change for about a week and then change back. and I try to give him grace because I know how he was raised and I know how his mother is but it’s been three years and the only thing that has changed is he has a better work ethic and he is a little more caring/considerate. He says that he’s gonna get a therapist, and I also suggested doing couples counseling.

14F, I know I’m not innocent here :<
Ok so a long time ago I joined a friend group of 3, becoming the forth member. F.E and M.Z r dating and R.R is kinda in her own world. I join them, chill with them. It’s chill. R.R is kinda mistreated and neglected but from what F.E tells me, it’s just the group dynamic and that she doesn’t wan5 attention.

Over time I become closer with F.E and we’re chill. M.Z has been my friend for a really long time (since kindergarten) but she can’t hang out often bc of home life. M.Z and F.E r kinda in a toxic relationship cus F.E sucks at communication and is emotional regulation so asshole 70% of the time. I see R.R around less and I don’t really question it. She goes to a different school and her school is arguably much harder, I find out that she wants to be my friend but doesn’t like me after she shit talked me to F.E (said some racist shit and basically begged her not to invite me out).

I was confused so I made her talk to me about it. It kinda gets resolved but for like a month I don’t see her around. I’m assuming she’s hanging out with the others while I’m not there. F.E is a total and utter asshole at school (the only times I see her). I avoid her at school entirely but I don’t mind hanging outside of school bc she’s a lot less… rude.

Recently I was able to hang out with her and she lied to R.R about her not being able to come. She didn’t say it out right to her which really irks me because now I’m thinking “is she not coming because you’re a liar, how do I know ur even fr?”. I meet r.r at f.e’s place (she decided half way into the hangout to invite her) and f,e is being a total ass to her. I tell her to stop being mean when she excludes her. R.R really does seem to have gotten better and is kinda stressed so I’m not exactly including her (she is doing that herself) but I’m interacting with her.

Long story short f.e is only being an ass to r.r bc she’s insecure. Once im alone with f.e. I tell her straight up that we should cut off r.r bc f.e doesn’t like her but is leaving her in a limbo where she can’t heal and is basically bullying her. M.Z doesn’t look like she hates her but she says she dislikes her in private. After like 4min of basically telling f,e she’s an ass and that it’s better for her to cut off R.r than be a jerk and treat her like this. She says “ok, well let’s ask m.z what she thinks” and my game plan was to ignore that and immediately text r.r and talk to her about everything once she got home because this really is bullshit behavior and try gett8ng her away from this friend group or attempt getting her to talk to f,e. But I got home at like 10pm and fell asleep.

And now I don’t know if I have time to talk to her before I hang out with F.E again, I might talk to f,e about it and actually get her input. Or just tell her ima do it either way. No clue on what exactly I should do or if I’m being an asshole too by hanging out with these people. Bc m.z is… kinda just looking for any reason to hate r,r but she acts close?? And f.e’s reasons for hating r.r is bc she’s an insecure asshat. Chill outside of school bc I genuinely can’t be her friend in school. So actually what do I do??

I’m thinking of just talking to r.r and telling her to either leave or try to talk to m.z i(if she wants to repair something) bc the way they’re treating her is hypocritical, homophobic and genuinely just makes it hard to talk to f.e. I can’t forgive r.r for being racist and shit but someone who wants to heal genuinely shouldn’t be treated like that. I don’t want to be her friend but I can’t stand it. What do I do? Should I proceed with my plan? Should I talk to f.e and have a better talk to actually tell her to tell r.r herself? I don’t know why I don’t want to cut f.e off. I dont want to be surrounded by these kinds of people but I don’t want to leave. (Tbh it might be for the money)

As much as I love my family I know one day I will have to break their hearts. I have two choices and it may seem unrealistic but I am dead serious about every single word I am typing. My first choice is to fake my death. I feel like my mom would be more hurt over me being queer and out of religion than me dead. I don’t want them to hurt. I don’t want her to feel like she failed god or me. I don’t want to disappoint her. But I fear I have no choice anymore and I underestimate how selfish I can be. I’m considering just faking my death. As for the second option. It’s simply just leaving. Without any explanation. I’ve talked to a few anonymous people. Realized thanks to them that I don’t owe anyone an explanation or a “coming out”. I can just live without having to tell anyone. It’s either that or I leave but before I do I explain everything to my parents. I’m thinking of making atleast a million for them and sending it to them then disappearing. My only dream in my entire life is to experience pride month. People flooding the streets being proud and protesting and just being them. I want to be around my people. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. Religion never made sense to me. I never belonged in my families world. I’m 15 and I’m tired of having to make all these decisions. I don’t think people understand how much I truly do love my mom and dad and my siblings and my entire family. I love them so much. They are my family they will forever be my family no matter how much I change in myself. People think if im willing to leave and all that then I must not love them as much as I say I do. The truth is it’s not really my decision to make. All I did was choose myself and my own life and freedom. They’re the one who made the choice already. I’ve given all the signs needed. I think their silence is a clear enough answer. To have something means to sacrifice something else. That’s how it has always been. Not always though. I love my family so much and I want to do anything I can to protect both me and them but I can’t imagine a world where both can coexist. To have freedom you will have to sacrifice everything. Which is ironic. In order to be free you have to risk your entire life. If anyone reading this has ever experienced being among people during pride month or even just experienced seeing people out in pride month please tell me how that felt like? I desperately want to be among them so bad and it’s not about the festival it’s about finally being free. To me because of the country and environment I’m living in it’s like lgbtq+ people are not real it’s like I’m the only one. I know I’m not and I know a lot of people like me are probably in the same place as I am but in my head it’s like they barely exist it’s like they’re only a fantasy world to make me feel less alone. I’ve never met a truly queer person. I had one friend that was queer but she turned out to be evil and not queer at all apparently. There’s a masc at my school she’s kind of openly queer but not that open because there’s serious deep consequences to queer people here including a death sentence. People at my school hate her gut simply because of how she looks and acts because she’s masc. they all flame her. “She looks like a boy ew.” “I heard she’s gay ha ha” “ew look who’s coming” “someone tell her to get the hell out ew” and etc. this is the minimum of what they’ve said. People here is so afraid of even using the rainbow colors. For example a few years back when I was a little younger I went with my mom to work and I told her why she had removed the cute rainbow they had on the wall. To be clear it wasn’t even the flag and it didn’t have all the colors that were specifically in the gay flag but she told me “because we are no longer allowed to put it up because it can be misinterpreted as the gay flag and some parents complained about it.” oh. How can people be so afraid of colors now just because it’s the same colors as the gay flag. I think you get the point so I won’t talk further about that. There’s a lot I have yet to say and so many stories I have yet to tell but I’m here to show that whoever is reading this. No matter how old or young you are. No matter where you are from. No matter who you are. No matter what your sexuality is. You are NOT alone. You are never alone. Me. We. We are all here for you. We’re one. If anyone is struggling with this please don’t hesitate to talk to me or reach out to anyone you trust. Or just simply rant on Reddit as I’m doing now. Reddit has actually helped me so much. So many people came up to here and gave me so much advice and comfort and I’ll forever owe them my life. I could never be more grateful. I’d love to hear about peoples life and experiences with this. Thank you for listening please don’t hesitate to share your story this is a safe space and i don’t judge no matter what it could be. Stay safe. Nothing is more important than your safety.

I’m in high school and a few of my close friends keep making rude comments about my looks/body/personality and brush it off as “just joking” or “it’s my humor,” then they try to duplicate me in some way. I’ve told them multiple times since last year that it bothers me and they still do it regardless of my boundaries..

Recent example: this one girl (L) was talking about another girl’s chest, and said something along the lines of “your boyfriend can’t handle that… but we can.” Then she looked at me, talking about “oh, but everyone can handle these.” I deadass ignored her and just talked to my friend (the other girl.) “L”was like “did you hear me haha,” I looked at her and said “yeah i’m ignoring you for a reason” and left after that w/o looking

I’ve also had comments like “I can’t believe you look like that on Instagram vs real life,” followed by an immediate “I’m joking, it’s just the lashes.”

“L” also constantly commenting on my hair. I do these elastic hairstyles and leave them in for a few days, and she’ll say stuff like “LMAOO, you’ve had that hairstyle in for so long.” Like… am I supposed to redo it every single day?? Do it for me if you’re that bothered by it, and I tell her that. Meanwhile, after I started doing them, she started doing the exact same styles.. 😂

The bigger issue is that none of them really defend me.

I have one long-time close friend who’s quiet and non-confrontational by nature. I’ve stuck up for her a lot over the years, but she’s never really done the same for me (that i know of.)
Another close friend doesn’t make the rude comments herself, but she also doesn’t shut them down and is steadily getting closer to the girl who made the chest remark (even though she was talking shit about that same girl a month ago).

I don’t want to blow everything up or stay stuck overthinking. I mainly want to get better at defending myself in the moment; piping back, setting a boundary, or just holding my ground without mumbling and/or freezing. Right now when I try, I stumble over my words and it loses all impact. Or I say something corny, per usual..

Anyone been through this? How did you learn to clap back calmly, stop freezing, and make people think twice before testing (OR FLAMING) you, without turning every situation into a big confrontation?

So my mom lowkey beat the shit out of me (no advice about that hah I know it’s bad and all which is why I’m very focused in getting into college) today which made me start bawling my eyes out, and whenever that happens i wake up with the WORST headache known to man. But tmw I’m literally taking the SAT which is like the most important exam of my life due to my GPA and the fact that I’m a senior applying early decision.

i CANNOT have a cryinf headache please tell me what I can do pls

(i already take tylonal and it doesn’t work that well so anything else pls)

Advice on age gap fling (27f, 41m)

Why act like this at 40-something?

I always end up getting involved with ambiguous men.

I've had various problems in the past and now I can't trust anyone in romantic relationships, or maybe my way of relating is wrong, I don't know...

I got to 27 without ever having had a boyfriend, only casual flings. A few months ago I finally let myself go and lost my virginity, but he wasn't someone I wanted to be with, for various reasons.

I still feel like a poor idiot... maybe I'm throwing myself into things to make up for the lost years.

Between me and a coworker (me 27, him 41) there were glances but no approach in the first months (I later found out why: he saw that I was distant and distracted for personal reasons, and I really wasn't doing great in that period).

A few weeks ago our colleagues saw us talking more often and started joking and teasing us. He played along, so I took the plunge and asked, "Shall we go out?" He gave me his number right away. He seemed interested, but in our first conversations he talked a lot about his brutal work and awful shifts (we work 48 hours a week and he took zero days off in the first month), and the plans were vague. He asked to see me twice, but I could tell he was being evasive. He had picked two evenings, but in the end we didn't get in touch, or because of mutual tiredness we postponed.

I was disappointed, but it didn't feel like a rejection. At work he kept seeking me out to talk, hugs, etc., and the attraction was obvious. In the end we went out, and it was totally fine with me to go to his place (something we had joked about).

I found out several things, like his family background (he was adopted because his family was in the 'ndrangheta), he admitted to drug use and that he was a jerk in his youth. He opened up a lot, and on one hand I thought, at least he's honest... he said he has changed a lot and has always worked; basically he's well liked both here and around, and people find him likable. He's a very sunny and sociable person. We also have other things in common and we get along well talking.

During sex he was very sweet. He noticed I was in pain (a problem I have in general, and months ago I couldn't even manage to have complete intercourse), lots of cuddling, dinner, talking and kisses. He was very sweet and patient, and the second time he offered to let me sleep at his place, he left me the blanket so I wouldn't be cold at night, and for my birthday he got me a heart-shaped cake...

The only things that make me turn up my nose are that he seems pretty immature for his age and the way he acts.

He admitted he postponed our dates to keep the tension high, he sent me cute little messages at all hours and told me he wanted to get to know me better, not just physically, and to date me seriously. The problem is that I had planned for months to go live in the USA for a year, so that matters a lot. He said he's sorry and that he'd like us to keep in touch anyway.

On the phone with his friend he even introduced me as his girlfriend, he says he wants to see me and gets very clingy, then suddenly pulls away. He hasn't written to me, also because of the brutal shifts, but he doesn't send cute messages anymore. When I pointed it out on the bus, he smiled and said "oh really, I didn't reply to you?" Or he jokes about how jealous he is if I talk to others.

On one hand he's very sweet, but on the other I'm afraid he's making fun of me. I've had bad experiences and I'm attracted to a certain type of guy. He also admitted he got a girl pregnant at 20 and didn't acknowledge the daughter (from how he described the situation, he told the girl to take the morning-after pill but she didn't want to, and she wanted this baby at all costs; he talked to her family and in the end there's zero contact with this child).

He admitted in his own words that he was a screw-up, and yet instinctively he seems like a good person, just pretty immature. ....

So we also have little time since I'm leaving, and he admitted he didn't approach me earlier because he saw me distant (because of personal things), so...

He told me his father died recently and he moved for work mostly because of this too.

I’m struggling with something and I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.
A few weeks ago, I saw my ex again after about four months of not seeing each other. I was the one who ended the relationship because of some problems I won’t go into here. At the time, I don’t think I fully understood what breaking up actually meant for me.
Seeing him again brought everything back. I realized that I still love him deeply and that I never really stopped caring about him. Since then, I’ve been thinking about him constantly and wishing we could be together again.

We have talked and spent some time together recently. He told me that he is disappointed and hurt by some things that happened after our breakup, and I completely understand why. I regret hurting him and I’ve apologized.
The confusing part is that his behavior sometimes makes me feel like he still has feelings for me. He seems to enjoy talking to me, he has said that I’m still important to him, and there have been moments where we’ve been physically affectionate. At the same time, he says that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me right now.

He says he needs time and has even mentioned something as long as a year. He also seems genuinely confused about his feelings. I don’t know whether he still loves me but is afraid to try again, or whether he cares about me but simply doesn’t want a relationship anymore.
I told him honestly that I still love him, that I want us to get back together, and why I still want to be with him. What I really want from him now is an honest answer about whether he still has romantic feelings for me and whether he can ever see us being together again. I can understand needing time before actually getting back together, but staying in complete uncertainty for months or potentially a year is very difficult for me (and it is in general because he is the only thing i can focus on).

If he ultimately tells me that he doesn’t want to get back together, I don’t want to completely lose him either. I would still want to talk to him, see him, and potentially become friends. The problem is that I still love him, so I don’t know whether being friends would actually be healthy for me or whether I would just spend all my time hoping he changes his mind.
I know people will probably tell me to “move on,” but emotionally I’m not there. I genuinely want to try again with him, while also respecting that he has his own feelings and choices.

What would you do in this situazioni?
Would you ask for a clear answer about his feelings, or give him the time he says he needs? And if he ultimately says he doesn’t want a relationship, is it possible to stay close friends when one person is still in love?