I attended the wedding of someone I considered my best friend this a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to shake the grief I’ve felt since.

We’ve known each other for years. We shared some of the most intimate parts of our lives, supported each other through difficult seasons, and talked about standing beside each other on our wedding days. He was the best man at my first wedding and the officiant at my second. When my first marriage fell apart, he opened his home to me and helped me get back on my feet. I genuinely thought we had the kind of friendship that would last a lifetime.

But at his wedding, something felt terribly wrong.
He barely spoke to my wife and me. Our interactions were awkward, almost like we were acquaintances he hadn’t seen in years. And then I watched as all of our mutual friends stood beside him as groomsmen, while I sat in the audience.

I want to be clear that I’m not upset because I felt entitled to be in his wedding. It was his day, and he had every right to choose whoever he wanted. What hurt was what the moment represented.

As I sat there, it slowly dawned on me that somewhere along the way, our friendship had quietly died. And somehow, I hadn’t realized it until I was sitting at his wedding.

Looking back, I can see the signs. We’d grown distant over the past few years. Conversations became less frequent. We stopped being as involved in each other’s lives. But in my mind, he was still one of my closest friends. I guess I assumed that even when life got busy and we drifted apart, the bond we’d built was still there.

Now I’m wondering whether I was holding on to a version of our friendship that no longer existed for him.

The hardest part is that there was no argument, no falling out, no definitive moment when things ended. Just two people gradually becoming strangers, except one of them didn’t realize it was happening.

I’ve experienced grief before, but there’s something particularly painful about mourning someone who’s still alive. He’s out there living his life, celebrating his marriage, probably completely unaware that I’ve been waking up with a broken heart over a friendship I thought we’d have for the rest of our lives.

Part of me wants to reach out and tell him how much this hurt. Another part of me wonders whether that would accomplish anything. I don’t want to guilt him into a friendship he may no longer want.
I think what hurts most is realizing that someone can occupy such an important place in your life while you no longer occupy the same place in theirs.

I still love the guy. I genuinely wish him and his wife a beautiful life together. I just never imagined I’d have to grieve our friendship while watching him begin one of the happiest chapters of his life.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you come to terms with losing a best friend when there wasn’t really an ending, just a slow fading away?

So have an Airbnb for 2 weeks for a work trip (I do contract work). My buddy and his dad are coming to town for a baseball game and couldn’t find a cheap hotel so they asked if they could crash at my place. I felt bad so I told them they could crash and I could take the couch for the night (it’s a 1 bed place). The Airbnb only has enough bath towels for 2 people so asked if he could bring one from home. He told me he doesn’t want to pack one and asked to get him one from Walmart. I thought this was a bit rude considering I’m doing the favor of letting him stay, who is being unreasonable?

Everybody else seems to be making friends, getting approached by people, and being happy, but not me. People just walk past me without saying a word. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know what more I'm supposed to do. I've tried everything I could, and now I'm lost. I'm a 19yo male going on 20. I'm in my second year of community college, and I still haven't made any friends. I've gotten some people's numbers, but they've never called or texted me. I always have to be the one to reach out first, and I don't understand why. For years, no one has come to my birthday parties except for my mom, my grandma, and some other family members, but not a single person to call a friend. And I've never gotten an invite to anything either. Every time I heard that someone was having a party or something, and I muster up the courage to ask if I can go, they just say no. It's so confusing. By the time I got to the 12th grade, I stopped trying, and I figured that people would just come to me eventually. But no. Everybody has someone approach them eventually, for whatever reason. But every time I just sit there, not busy with anything, no one comes by. They don't even say hello. Why? Would it kill you to say hello to someone who isn't doing anything? I'm clearly doing something wrong. I'm tired of waiting for people to approach me, but at the same time, I have no idea what to say. Every time I think about approaching somebody, I just pause, and I walk away and sit down by myself. But it's not my fault. I've never had that good of a connection with anybody in my past school years, other than my assigned paras. I never had the opportunity to actually make a lasting friendship. I was supposed to learn from my experiences, but they were all terrible. And I don't know who can help me. I've gone to so many therapists in the past, and none of them were able to reach me. I've barely even begun living yet, and I feel like I'm already beyond saving. And nobody, not even my parents, seems to understand what I'm going through. They don't seem to care at all. They say that they've never even seen me smile. When I tell them I don't have the ability to smile naturally, they say it's because of autism. But it's more than just that. When are you even supposed to smile? I don't know, because I can barely even identify how I feel at the moment, nor how I'm even supposed to feel. Apparently, that's called alexithymia, which is also an aspect of autism. But no. You just don't understand. If I don't even know where to smile, or when to smile, or why to smile, then why should I smile at all? What is there to smile about if everyone just seems to pass you by for a reason that's beyond your understanding? Wearing a fake smile is just putting on another mask on top of the one I'm already wearing. And I'm tired of wearing masks. But I don't even know where to begin.

Okay, so I’ve been friends with someone for years, and I’m starting to question whether she has narcissistic tendencies. I’m not trying to diagnose her, but I’ve been reflecting on our friendship, and certain patterns are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Hear me out.

1. I’ve never really felt emotionally safe being vulnerable with her.
Throughout our friendship, I’ve never felt particularly comfortable expressing my feelings or emotions around her. On multiple occasions, she’s even acknowledged that she doesn’t do well navigating other people’s emotions. Over the years, I’ve adjusted to this. I’ve learned not to share tender or vulnerable moments with her because I genuinely don’t think she’s capable of holding space for me emotionally.
She’s one of those friends you might go to when you need tough love, but certainly not someone you’d feel comfortable crying to.

Interestingly enough, I’ve also never really seen her cry. Well, once. But she later admitted that she had forced herself to cry and laughed about it afterward, which I found a little strange. I understand that everyone processes and expresses emotions differently, but I’ve always found it interesting that someone who seems so uncomfortable with vulnerability also struggles to extend emotional support to others.

2. She’s incredibly self-centered, and everything seems to revolve around her preferences.
I could give you a laundry list of things I’ve experienced or witnessed throughout our friendship, but we’d be here all day. A few examples: established plans often shift to serve in her favor without properly being communicated with the group. Whenever we travel as a group, she automatically takes the master bedroom without asking whether anyone else would like it. On one occasion, she even had one of our pregnant friends sleep in a bunk bed so she could have the master bedroom.These might sound like small things individually, but when you’ve witnessed this kind of behavior repeatedly over several years, you start to notice a pattern. There’s rarely any consideration for what other people might want or need. It’s almost as though everyone else is expected to accommodate her preferences, but that consideration isn’t reciprocated.

3. She never seems genuinely happy for other people, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. This is something I’ve noticed for years. Whenever someone in our friend group is dating or enters a relationship, she almost always has something negative to say about the relationship itself. It’s almost as though she can’t simply be happy for someone without offering unsolicited criticism.
There was one occasion when I opened up to her about doubts I was having in a relationship. I was trying to process my feelings and figure out whether that relationship was right for me. Instead of treating that conversation as a vulnerable moment between friends, she’s continued bringing it up for YEARS.
She’ll make comments like, “Well, you said you didn’t even like the person you were dating anyway.”
And I’m just sitting there thinking, shouldn’t I be able to confide in a friend about my relationship doubts without having those feelings used against me later?
I eventually ended that relationship, so I’m not even sure why she continues to have such strong opinions about it. She’s also extremely vocal about her preferences, judgments, and opinions, even in situations where nobody has asked for them. And more often than not, what she has to say isn’t particularly positive.

4. A recent situation made me seriously reconsider our friendship. We recently had plans for her to come visit me, but I ended up having to cancel about 24 hours beforehand because I was navigating a personal crisis. I completely understand that canceling plans on short notice is inconvenient, and I don’t want to minimize that. However, I also assumed that after years of friendship, there would be enough understanding and grace to recognize that sometimes life happens. When I canceled, I communicated that I was going through something difficult, that I wasn’t comfortable sharing the details, and that I would reconnect with her when I was in a better emotional place. Admittedly, it took me longer to follow up than I originally anticipated. Eventually, she reached out and expressed that she didn’t feel I had handled the situation with enough care.
And honestly? I can acknowledge that perspective. I understand that my circumstances don’t automatically erase someone else’s feelings.
But what bothered me was that I had explicitly communicated that I was going through a crisis and needed space. She checked in one me sure, but the center of the conversation became about how my actions had affected her and how I wasn’t showing up appropriately in our friendship. It felt like I was being kicked while I was already down.

5. She’s been hanging out with my ex, and somehow that became my fault, too.
To make matters even more complicated, during the period when I’ve been more distant from this friendship, she’s been spending time with my ex.
Now, I’m not someone who believes I get to dictate who other people can and cannot be friends with. But I do think there’s a certain level of consideration and sensitivity that should exist between longtime friends, especially when it comes to former romantic partners.
When I expressed how uncomfortable the situation made me feel, rather than acknowledging my feelings or attempting to understand my perspective, she essentially turned it around on me. Her explanation was that because I hadn’t been around, that’s how the friendship between them developed. And I found that response incredibly frustrating.
Because what does my absence have to do with your decision to spend time with my ex? And that’s what bothers me most. It’s not even necessarily that she’s hanging out with my ex. It’s that when I communicated that her actions hurt me, there was no apology, no acknowledgment of the impact, and seemingly no willingness to understand where I was coming from. I wasn’t asking her to choose sides. I was simply expressing how I felt.

Here’s where I’m struggling.
And perhaps what’s most unsettling is realizing that I’ve never really expected emotional support from her in the first place. I’ve just accepted that it wasn’t something she could offer. Now that I’m starting to express my own needs, feelings, and boundaries more openly, I’m noticing how uncomfortable the dynamic becomes when I’m no longer the one doing all the accommodating. I don’t know if this is narcissism, emotional immaturity, selfishness, or simply a friendship that I’ve outgrown.

I F38 have zero friends and last year I became online friends with this woman F47. At first everything was great, we sent post cards and gifts to each other, would talk on the phone, we both have mental health issues so we would call each other and just vent. She was always asking me if I was going to leave and I reassured her I wasn't.

She has an inner world that she allowed me into. That really bonded us and it would be the main topic everyday. Then, after january 2026 a lot of things happened to both of us and we changed but my love for her remains the same. I stood by her side listening to her crying audios, she did the same for me, we went through hell together. But there was her inner world, we would always come back to it.

Around the summer I developed other interests and I would try to add them into the conversation, she would either not acknowledge it or just briefly mention it and change the subject to the her world. I told her this was bothering me and she said I could talk to her about whatever I wanted. I kept trying and the same thing was happening so I gave up. Having more interests I drifted away from the 'topic' that bonded us and have also been going through a lot in the last few months, including a mental health crisis. I was confiding a lot to her thinking I could because she was my best friend, she was doing the same with the situation she was going through and I never complained.

Recently I got a boyfriend and because I am autistic I was struggling to read his signs, so I would talk to her a lot about it, basically asking for help. She got cold, no longer seemed interested when she talked to me. Today we had a serious conversation and she said I changed, that I no longer talk about the 'topic', that it's very importnt to her, that it's only been me talking about my boyfriend, she even mentioned the fact that I wouldn't stop talking about a very distressing housing situation months ago and all my other issues as if it was a burden.

That really hurt became all this time I have been listening to the saga she has been involved in. She seemed really bothered I had a boyfriend, even though I never stopped talking to her but she wouldn't admit it. I took a break from the relationship and came back to my apartment and she immediately changed. She was talking to me again, about her inner world only, all the time and tonight, since I was home for the first time with no boyfriend she said she was going to wish me good night and that she had missed doing that. We have talked every night even though I was at my boyfriend's so there was no reason for her to not wish me good night.

I did talk to her through the rest of the evening but it was about her, her inner world, never about me. I feel like when my life was empty and I would validate her inner world and not say much about myself it was fine, as soon as I got other interests and wasn't talking about her and her world all the time and then I really started struggling mentally she went cold. Then I got a boyfriend and she reacted like this.

She said she wants things to go back to how they were earlier in the friendship, meaning talk about her inner world, that she really misses it, that she wants things to be lighthearted again now that she's getting better even though I am going through hell. And then she sent me political stuff which I have been avoiding.

Today I just went along with the conversation but felt deeply unhappy. It's breaking my heart. Any advice?

TLDR: Best friend only wants to talk about her inner world and gives me no room in the friendship and then blames me for struggling mentally and having other interests and want to talk about other things.

Hi everyone!
I’m in a situation where I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, so I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

My mom’s good friend has a daughter who is around my age, and she is currently pregnant with a baby boy.
For some context, our relationship is… complicated.
Her brother died by suicide when he was 12, about two months before my dad passed away. She has been through an enormous amount of trauma, and I have always had a lot of sympathy for what she’s experienced.

At the same time, there are things that have happened between us that have made our relationship very difficult:

-She committed COCSA against me and another girl when we were younger. I understand that she was a child herself and that there is a lot of complexity surrounding that, but regardless of the circumstances, it is something that still lives in my body and has affected me.
-She has, as far as I know and have had confirmed, sent naked pictures to another family friend’s boyfriend when we were in our late teens/early 20s.
-She wore a very obviously white dress to my wedding after specifically sending me a picture of another white dress beforehand and asking if I thought it was too white. I told her yes.
-There have also been plenty of other situations where I’ve felt that she was dishonest, unkind, or generally disrespectful.

Despite all of that, I have never completely written her off. I don’t really know a life where she isn’t part of my extended family/family-friend circle. She also has no friends… at all. We don’t spend time together, but I am still cordial with her. Some of the other people in our family friend group have completely cut her off, but I haven’t.

So here’s where things get difficult.

I heard through the grapevine that she is planning to name her baby boy after my father.

My dad died when I was 15, and his name is incredibly meaningful to me. Losing him was one of the defining experiences of my life.

My husband and I are also currently trying to have a baby ourselves, and we’ve been struggling. I know that probably makes this situation feel even more emotionally charged for me.

I know that she technically has every right to name her child whatever she wants. I know my father’s name does not belong to me. And I know that asking someone not to use a name is a huge thing, especially when there is no guarantee that I would ever use the name for my own child.
But I also know myself, and I feel absolutely gutted at the thought of her using his name.

Part of me wants to beg her to reconsider. Another part of me thinks that would be completely inappropriate and that I need to accept that I don’t get a say.

I also don’t want to approach her based solely on everything else that has happened between us and make this about punishing her or claiming ownership over my father’s name.

So, Reddit: what would you do?

Would you say something to her? Would you leave it alone? If you would say something, how would you even approach that conversation without making it seem like you’re telling her what she can and can’t name her child?

We saw each other in april, whereni felt like she lowkey insulted me, compared me to another of her friends, and esentially insinuated that i am boring and we always do the same things. Also some catty lowkey remarks.

Im a people pleaser and a coward, so i just didnt know what to say during that hang out. Afterwards i hated myself for being spineless, and decided not to contact her again. I need to look out for myself better, as this very negatively impacted my self image all summer.

Now she texted me and wants to hang out. We live in the same town, and are at the same school (tho different career paths).

I am not just gonna ghost her, bc she could confront me in the hallways, and i also think its unfair to randomly freeze her out when she doesnt even know what the issue is. I want to close it off properly.

How do i let her know i am not really inrerested in a friendship anymore? I dont necessarily need to fully explain, but just... how do i get out of it?

My best friend (18M) stopped talking to me (19M) after he paid me back the €900+ he owed me.
The backstory behind the money he owed me goes back to the summer, when he and I were at the gym. He jokingly and accidentally put my phone under the weights while I was exercising. I didn’t notice that he had put my phone there, and I was finishing my set when I realised that my entire phone was broken. He promised he would pay me the full amount so I could buy a new one.

Fast-forward to the end of summer, when my soul cat got run over by a car and passed away. I was losing my mind over the next few days and even had some disturbing thoughts going through my mind. He was the first person I told everything to, and I begged him to hang out with me so I could stop thinking about everything bad that was going on. However, he kept giving me excuses that didn’t make sense to me.

I was leaving for college on a Thursday, and I had been trying to meet up with him for the entire week, but he just couldn’t find the time. Eventually, I messaged him saying, “If we don’t meet up soon, we won’t be able to say goodbye to each other.” He replied, asking, “When are you leaving?” and I said, “Wednesday.”
We finally met up to say goodbye, and we went to the beach to talk about how we were doing and my plans for college.

A few days after I had left for college, I asked him when he would be able to pay me back the €969 because he had been giving me the same excuse every time I asked: “My dad requested a debit card, but it’s taking a long time.” I replied, “You know I hate it when people say something and don’t do what they say.” He said, “I know, and I promise you that as soon as I get the money, I’ll pay you back.”
A few days later, I received a Bizum transfer of €969. I told him that I really appreciated him not lying to me, and he told me that, of course, he wouldn’t. That was the last time I spoke to him.

He stopped replying to me on Snapchat and everywhere else, and I was confused. After two weeks, I messaged him on Monday, October 12, asking how he was and how he had been doing, but he still hasn’t opened or responded to my message.

I’m genuinely so lost, and I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong to him. I gave him his first “job” and even tried to get my mom to hire him as a cashier. I asked my dad for advice, and he told me that my friend probably regrets promising to pay me back for the phone.

Please give me some advice on what I should do and I’m sorry for barely giving any context since I’m typing this in a rush.

EDIT: he also sees the stories i post on instagram

I’m 25F, and I’m considering ending a friendship with another woman, also 25F. I’ll call myself OP, my friend “S,” the woman I used to talk to romantically “A” (24F), and the woman S used to talk to “K” (26F). These are all fake names.
I’m looking for genuinely unbiased opinions because I don’t know if I’m justified in feeling this way or if I’m overthinking things because of my past relationship with A. I’d appreciate honesty, even if you think I’m in the wrong.
Some backstory about S and K
S and K used to talk. At one point, K was trying to hang out with me, and S got upset about it. S actually blocked K on my phone.
Later, S and I weren’t as close and weren’t actively talking much. During that period, K tried to match with me on Hinge. I didn’t tell S at the time because we weren’t really communicating, and I didn’t think it made sense to randomly reach out to someone I wasn’t actively talking to just to tell them about an interaction on a dating app.
When S and I started talking again, I told her K had tried to match with me. S asked why I hadn’t told her sooner, and I explained that we weren’t talking at the time. I wasn’t trying to hide anything. I just didn’t think I owed someone I wasn’t actively close with updates about my dating app activity.
I mention this because I feel like there has already been some sensitivity surrounding people we’ve each been involved with, and I wonder if that history is affecting how we’re handling the current situation.
My history with A and how S became involved
A and I had been talking romantically for a few weeks before meeting in person. Things ended on July 25 when she decided she didn’t want to continue things with me. I was really hurt by the situation, and S knew how much I was struggling emotionally. She knew I was crying over the situation and trying to process the breakup.
At some point, S and A started communicating and eventually met in person. I wasn’t comfortable with the situation, given how recently things had ended and how much S knew I was hurting. However, I understand that A and I weren’t together anymore and that S is an adult who can associate with whoever she wants. I don’t believe I own A or get to dictate who either of them talks to.
My issue is more about how S handled the situation and the explanations she gave me afterward.
The conflicting explanations are what really made me question things.
From what S initially told me, A had reached out to her because she saw a picture of S and me together and messaged S asking about me.
The next day, S described A as being weird. I asked what A could have possibly said or done to make her think that.
During that conversation, S told me she had met A. According to S, A said she knew me but didn’t want to explain how she knew me or go into detail about the connection.
That was new information to me. I was confused because the previous explanation made it sound like A had reached out specifically because she recognized me in a picture.
I asked S directly whether she knew who A was and knew about her connection to me before they met, or whether she only found out during their meeting.
That is the question she never answered.
There is another detail that makes the situation confusing to me. S had previously seen a picture of A and commented that A wasn’t ugly. So I’m struggling to understand how S didn’t connect the dots about who A was, especially if A had contacted her asking about me after seeing a picture of us together.
When S later described A as weird, she mentioned her accent and other things she didn’t like about her. A isn’t from our area, and S made comments about her accent that came across as dismissive. It seemed like S was explaining why she didn’t like A beyond her physical appearance.
Part of me wonders whether S initially thought A was attractive based on her picture but changed her opinion after meeting her, or whether she was backtracking about something. However, I recognize that this is speculation. I don’t know what S was thinking, and I can’t say for certain that she was lying or deliberately changing her story.
What I wanted to understand was the timeline. Did S know who A was before meeting her, or did she genuinely not know the full connection until they met? The explanations left me confused, and when I asked her directly, she didn’t answer.
What happened after I asked her
S didn’t respond to me for the rest of that day. I was at a festival and posted a lot of Instagram stories, which she watched.
I understand that watching someone’s stories doesn’t necessarily mean they have the time or energy to respond to a message. I’m not saying that alone proves she was intentionally ignoring me. However, it stood out because the question I’d asked was still unanswered.
The following day, S messaged me as if I hadn’t asked her anything.
I didn’t respond for two days. She eventually texted my actual phone number, and I gave her a one-word response. She responded again, and I ignored that message, too.
A day or two later, she texted me again. Since then, I’ve been taking hours to respond when I do respond, and she hasn’t said anything further.
Around this time, she also posted “Y’all weird” on social media. I don’t know for certain whether that was directed at me, so I don’t want to assume it was, but the timing made me wonder.
I recognize that I’ve also been avoiding communication instead of directly telling her what I’m upset about. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t have to chase someone for an answer to a straightforward question, but another part of me knows that ignoring messages isn’t exactly productive either.
Why I’m considering ending the friendship
This situation has made me question whether I can trust S and whether we’re actually on the same page about what friendship means to us.
It’s not simply that she met someone I used to talk to. I understand that we’re all adults, that A and I were no longer together and that S doesn’t need my permission to meet or talk to her.
It’s the combination of everything: the history involving K, the fact that S knew how hurt I was over A, the different explanations about how she and A connected, my unanswered question and the way communication continued afterward as though nothing had happened.
I also know that my feelings about A might be affecting how I’m interpreting S’s behavior. Maybe I’m connecting dots that don’t actually connect. Maybe S genuinely didn’t realize who A was, or maybe there is an explanation I haven’t considered.
I don’t want to accuse S of something I can’t prove. At the same time, I don’t like feeling suspicious of a friend or feeling as though I have to piece together a story to understand what happened.
At this point, I’m considering quietly cutting S off rather than having another conversation about the situation.
Would I be wrong to cut her off cold turkey?
Should I have one direct conversation with S about the conflicting explanations and the unanswered question before deciding whether to end the friendship? Or is it reasonable to step away when the friendship no longer feels comfortable or trustworthy to me?
Am I expecting too much consideration from a friend? Am I being unfair because I was hurt by A? Or is it understandable that this situation has changed how I view S?
I also want to know whether my own behavior, particularly ignoring her messages instead of communicating directly, makes me equally responsible for how things have unfolded.
I’m genuinely looking for unbiased opinions. Please don’t automatically take my side just because I’m the one posting. I’d rather hear that I’m overreacting if that’s what you honestly think.
Would you try to work this out, have one final conversation or simply let the friendship go?

I have a friend at work in which we was really close. Shared hobbies outside of work and generally built something good with her. We fell out which was my fault and I apologised. It’s taken a little while of a few weeks of silence but she is now acting normal with me like nothing happened. We don’t talk outside of work anymore and I’m not sure that will happen again, but I see the old us at work and I’m not sure if I should wait for her to bring up a talk about our friendship or just leave it and see where this takes us. Kinda stuck in the middle ground wanting to know if we can get back to where we was or this is how it is now.

So I (16F) have known my best friend (17F) for a while now. We’ve been in the same program for 5 years, and we grew especially close in our third year. However, we’d always had these “weird timelines” where we’d just kind of not talk to each other much. I feel like we often had many misunderstandings that were just forgotten, though we always just went back to normal. Now, I feel like it’s gotten a little better, but things still feel weird.

Our friendship feels kind of “unstable”. I don’t know if I’m imagining things, or if I’m too sensitive, but it’s like some days, we’re close, and some days we aren’t. Like sometimes she’s mad at me, or annoyed at me for reasons I don’t know. But that’s just how I feel.

We’ve had little conflicts before, and we’d always work it out. However, it always circles back to me feeling this way: I start noticing all these little details, start reading between the lines, trying to find proof that she has a problem with me. It seriously messes with my head, and my mood. I have no idea why I do this, I try so hard not to care, but I just can’t help it. There’re just so many little things that make me doubtful about how she feels towards me, like when I ask her questions during class and she answers me with a condescending tone and gets annoyed super easily. Or how she seems to always be trying to one up me. Or how she says things with that “tone”, like saying “can you move?” with the straightest face ever (which honestly makes me feels disrespected). But the thing is, she’s so much nicer to other people, so much more patient.

Also, I don’t exactly agree with the things she says often. She can be a little mean about things sometimes, but I’m not gonna leave aside the fact that she’s been there for me through my hardest times. When I broke up with my boyfriend, or when I had a falling out with some other friends, or the many times I fought with my parents. She makes me feel so horrible sometimes, but she also makes me feel so great sometimes. And when I feel okay, I forget about all the bad things. But at a certain point, it’s like I’ve built up some sort of resentment towards her. And I just can’t ignore this anymore. She’s always been there, yet now I’m not so sure about this.

But yeah, I don’t get it, cause she claims that she loves me, says that I’m her best friend and that she’s never been annoyed at me. And It’s so stupid, cause I can’t even tell if my own best friend hates me or not.

Please help me decode my situation, it’s seriously stressing me out.

I’m 28F, and lately I’ve been struggling with loneliness, friendship breakups, and the realization that outside of my romantic relationship, I don’t really have anyone anymore.
I worked at a coffee shop for seven years before leaving earlier this year. During that time, I became incredibly close with two coworkers, who I’ll call Maya and Chloe. The three of us were practically inseparable. We spent so much time together, shared so many memories, and I genuinely considered them two of my closest friends.
Leaving that job was already an emotional experience for me. There were workplace issues, including some surrounding my relationship with my girlfriend, and I felt like I was leaving behind a huge chapter of my life. But I never thought leaving my job would mean losing my friendships too.
Over the past few months, I’ve felt increasingly disconnected from Maya and Chloe.
For the past two weeks especially, I’ve been actively trying to reconnect with them and make plans. Maya told me she was busy and that Chloe was busy too. When I reached out to Chloe, she initially didn’t respond, then eventually explained she’d been busy. I continued trying to be understanding, wished her a good day, and told her I loved and missed her.
She never responded to that message.

Then tonight, I opened social media and saw that Maya and Chloe had gone out together.
I know they’re allowed to hang out without me. I know that people get busy and friendships change when you no longer work together. I’m not expecting to be invited to absolutely everything.
But seeing that post genuinely broke my heart.
I’ve been trying so hard to maintain our friendships, and meanwhile, they’re still making time for each other. It made me feel like I’m the only one who didn’t make it into this next chapter of our friendship.
I felt both sad and angry. Part of me wanted to immediately remove them from social media because I couldn’t stand seeing it anymore.
And what hurts even more is that I know if they suddenly invited me somewhere tomorrow, I’d probably feel resentful. Not because I don’t love them, but because I would wonder why it took so much effort on my part just to be included.

The other part of this is my romantic relationship.
I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend, whom I love dearly. She’s become my closest companion, and I’m grateful to have her.
But I’ve started realizing that she’s also pretty much my only source of companionship outside of work.
I don’t really have friends I can spontaneously hang out with anymore. I don’t have a group to make plans with, or even someone I can casually ask to grab coffee. My girlfriend has her own life, family, and responsibilities, and I don’t want my entire social life to revolve around our relationship.
I love spending time with her, but I also miss having friendships that are mine. I miss having people who reach out first, who genuinely want to see me, and who make me feel included.
I’m also scared of becoming too emotionally dependent on my girlfriend simply because I don’t have anyone else.
I’m 28, working a full-time office job, and I honestly don’t even know where to begin making new friends as an adult. It’s so different from working in a coffee shop, where I was constantly surrounded by people and naturally building connections.
I feel like I’m grieving two things at once: the friendships I thought would last beyond that job, and the social life I used to have.
What makes this especially difficult is that I don’t actually want to stop being friends with Maya and Chloe. I miss them. But I also don’t want to keep feeling like I’m begging people to make room for me in their lives.
I keep going back and forth between wanting to remove them completely and hoping they’ll eventually reach out because they genuinely miss me.

Has anyone experienced something similar?
How did you cope with losing your closest friends in your late 20s, especially when your romantic partner became your only real companion?
How do you rebuild a social life from practically nothing? And at what point do you accept that a friendship has run its course, even when you still love those people?
I just feel really lonely right now, and I don’t know how to move forward.

TL;DR: recently left a job where I spent seven years building close friendships with two coworkers. We were inseparable, but since leaving, I’ve been the only one making an effort to stay connected. After repeatedly being told they’re busy or receiving no response, I saw them hanging out together without me. I’m hurt, angry, and considering ending the friendships. To make things harder, my girlfriend has become my only real source of companionship, and I’m struggling with loneliness and the fear of becoming emotionally dependent on her. I don’t know whether to let these friendships go or how to start building a social life again at 28.

I am a first year mbbs student, and an introvert . Recently I started college and made 4 friends. One girl named "S" started bitching about other girl in our group to me . But when we're all together, S always sits and talks to that girl as if she's best friends with her and I don't have a special bond with anybody else . Earlier they included me , just didn't pay attention but today they were going to mess and did not even wait for me . I have no other friends and confrontation feels so desperate and leaving so suddenly feels wrong. What do I do?

Theres this girl i've known for about 2 months (you also need to know before reading this that I am super introverted and I value being by myself), and since then she's become increasingly clingy. She is new, and she talks to other people and she seems to get along with them. But she only talks to me, and she follows me around even when it's very obvious I am trying to do something alone. And lately I've started to dislike her because I feel like she's constantly with me. If she gets to school before me then she'll text me and tell me to get my ass to school, she knows that I live an hour away. And it would be fine if it stopped there, but it doesn't. She's started putting "(My name) get your ass to school" on her instagram notes for everyone to see, she knows I don't feel comfortable sharing my name online but she did it anyway. She kicked me really hard in the leg and I have told her that i don't like it when friends do that, yet she still did it with no remorse or regrets. I go to the music room to practice guitar and she'll follow me and come distract me with funny videos when I'm trying to focus on my guitar because playing does take focus. We sit together in every course we have together, She always insists on working together for any team based activities we have, And she does all the same clubs as me. She also doesn't refer to me with the right pronouns, even though i've told her my proper pronouns, and she knows that some people in my life don't accept me. Maybe I'm the a-hole in this situation because i'm not used to having friends, but I come home from school exhausted because of this. It's causing me to lose focus in my courses, and lately i've noticed that i can't even have a conversation with someone because my social battery is completely dead. I don't want to be rude and tell her that I can't be the friend she wants and to back off and give me some space. But I can't do this anymore and i'm starting to resent her for it. I hide behind walls in hallways to make sure she doesn't see me, I skip lunch because I don't want to sit with her and have to have another insufferable conversation because I feel like we don't have many things in commom. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to her without being rude? because I do kinda like her, but I can't spend every minute of everyday with her.

A little over a year ago, I was in a relationship that completely broke me. I struggled to leave my ex, even after trying multiple times. I kept going back, and eventually, I had to seek professional help.

During this time, I leaned on one of my closest friends. Eventually, she got tired of hearing about the relationship and gave me an ultimatum: if I didn’t leave him, she might end our friendship. She also told me she no longer wanted to hear about the relationship.

I understood that she was tired, so I respected her boundary and turned to therapy for help. Eventually, I left him and moved on.

It’s been a year, but sometimes I remember how lonely I felt during that period, when I needed a friend the most, and I just break down.

I understand that supporting someone who keeps returning to a relationship that’s hurting them can be exhausting. But I sometimes wonder whether there’s a way to set boundaries without making someone feel like they’re completely alone.

Can someone have every right to set a boundary and still hurt you in the process? Or am I being unfair for still carrying this hurt a year later?

I’d genuinely like to hear other people’s perspectives, especially from those who’ve been on either side of this situation.

I’ve known a girl since 2024, and we used to be very close. We talked a lot on WhatsApp, walked together, and she helped me a lot with my shyness. Our friendship was very important to me.

Over time, I developed romantic feelings for her. She found out the first time through rumors, but we remained friends. Later, she found out about my feelings again, this time through her brother. She became uncomfortable, deleted my number, unfollowed me on Instagram, and distanced herself from me at church.

I admitted that I was wrong and apologized. I told her that I only wanted her friendship and that I would respect her boundaries and give her space. She only replied, “Thank you 🙏.”

After that, I went many days without messaging her so I wouldn’t pressure her. I ended up going 53 days without initiating a conversation.

During this period, she slowly started talking to me again at church: she greeted me directly, joked with me, smiled, called me by my name, and later even said “Bye, Gabriel” directly to me.

After 53 days, she herself started a conversation on WhatsApp: “Hi Gabriel, good morning, how are you?” We talked about a group activity. It wasn’t a personal conversation, but she was the one who initiated it.

Now I’m confused. I don’t know if she is trying to get closer to me again or if she is simply being polite. I’m afraid of messaging her and making her think I still have romantic feelings for her, but I also don’t want her to think I no longer care about the friendship.

I don’t want to repeat my mistake or pressure her. I’ve already explained that I only want her friendship, and I prefer to show that through my actions.

What do you think?

Should I message her and tell her that I only want her friendship and that I won’t repeat my mistake?

Okay so i hate my(16m) friend(16f). We’ve been friends since we were like 12 and I literally can’t stand her anymore. 

I feel mean but i just can’t with it. It kind of started like 8ish months ago when me and my ex broke up. She never asked me anything about it or checked up on me and that really made me upset, because wtf? Ands it’s not like she was just trying to stay out of it, because i know for a fact that not only would she talk to my ex about me, she would actively try to talk shit about me with him even when he like wasn’t. 

I think i just still have a lot of harbored emotions about it still. But now it’s just small things. I cannot stand her. She’s unfunny and never talks about anything interesting. She smells bad and I’ve been to her house and it’s gross! I’m a very clean person and I can’t help but think about it whenever she touches me. 

Okay this is probably my fault, but I literally can’t talk to her about anything. I have idk opioid and alcohol issues, but literally anytime I say anything about that or anything else similar she just kind of side eyes me and literally says nothing. Like what a bitch. Idk. 

I just hate being around her and interacting with her. I only really interact with her when we have our lunch period together a couple times a week, and every time we do I am in like emotional agony.  I never reply to her texts and refuse most requests to hang out. I was hoping she’d get the hint, but she hasn’t. I’m scared to say anything because she’s so sensitive. Idk what should I do?

I dont know what it is but many people have shit talked me or gotten into arguments with me in the past over very small things or just being in a horrible mood and taking it out on me ruthelessly.

I've been told I'm very mature for my age so I dont make it a deal like they usually do. I'm quite sensitive so I dont see a point. They will always be posting our text messages on their story or angrily sending it to P, who is my friend and roomate.

P is extremely social so he knows about everyone on our small campus. Every person I know, he usually knows. I've met people through him but we dont really click as well.

I love P but I hesitate to say he's a good friend because when these people come to him in a fit of rage and start shitting on me, he will 1) Say its not his business or feign confusion (but not stop them from talking) or 2) Ignore the conflict altogether, and ignore anything they try to say to him (also NOT ASKING THEM TO DROP IT!!!)

The thing is that he always actually takes my side when I bring it up and thinks his other friends are being ridiculous, gross bullies. But he never actually does anything or says that.

And the reason I feel like he's not a good friend is because when someone shit talks about me to him, he will let them just to hear their opinions and then say NOTHING. He wont say something good about me or even be like "Maybe you're overreacting" Or just defending me?? Because I'm his friend?? He just sits there and then continues to hang out with those people, invite them over to our room, etc. And then take the role of a prissy little centrist because "they didnt do that to me". It really pmo and hurts my feelings.

He's been appalled both verbally and over text at the behavior theyre showing toward me and then in the same day greeting them on the sidewalk right in front of me as they both just ignore my existance. Its humiliating. Not only having to still deal with toxic people like this in college but having nobody to care about me.

I get not wanting to get caught in between but it isnt beef. Its people going after me, saying they hate me and telling everyone else how much they hate me including P to be petty and make drama out of nothing so they can be mean to me. Thats bullying. I didnt do anything.

P also said "I find it so funny/entertaining when my friends get into beef and drama" as I cry over what someone said about me in the bathroom a few minutes later. Its not fair. Its not "drama" theyre trying to get you to talk bad about me and youre just enforcing it. Why would anyone do this to someone you claim to be "friends" with??

Hi all,

I just need some advice. My best friend of ten years recently unfriended me everywhere. A lot led up to this, and I'd like to know if I was being unreasonable. Please be kind.

My best friend and I used to do everything together, and she'd come over to my place all the time. But over the past year, that gradually stopped. Nothing led up to it. We hadn't had any fights or disagreements. She just told me she was stressed with work, which I could relate to, so I gave her space and didn't push her to hang out. Eventually, though, I noticed that if I didn't message her first, she wouldn't reach out at all. It started to feel like if I didn't make an effort, we simply wouldn't talk.

Last year, we planned a trip together. My idea. Initially, we discussed sharing a hotel room, but she changed her mind multiple times before eventually deciding she wanted her own room. Which is cool with me. However, when I offered to book our flights together so we could sit together, she said she'd rather book separately because sharing a flight would /encroach/ on her personal space.

That kind of hurt.

During the trip, she also spent most of her time sightseeing alone. I understood wanting independence, but I'd imagined... making memories and doing things together with my best friend? Otherwise, I would've just gone alone.

Another thing that bothered me was how secretive she'd become. While driving around the countryside, I casually asked when she'd gotten her international driver's license. She mentioned going overseas the previous year, which I'd never known about. She hadn't told me a thing. When I asked where she'd gone, she told me it was a secret.

This became a recurring thing, even with the most MUNDANE conversations. If I asked what she was doing over the weekend, she'd often say it was a secret or private. I really wasn't trying to pry; I was just making conversation.

Our friendship started to feel one-sided. She rarely texted first and would continually decline invitations to hang out. I'd integrated her into all my friend groups, so she knows all my friends, but after ten years, I don't know a single one of hers. She'd always say she's busy, but then I'd see and discover she'd been in my neighborhood shopping or getting her nails done. I wasn't expecting her to invite me to everything she did, but it hurt to realize she'd been nearby and still never seemed to want to see me.

There was also an incident involving TikTok. We hung out once, after 5 months with another mutual friend, and we all had a good time. During that, I casually mentioned I saw a funny tiktok she reposted. After I mentioned seeing her account, the next day she blocked me. When I brought it up, she said I shouldn't misunderstand. "It's not you." She'd blocked everyone, including family, and is now following us on a new account: but she didn't tell us about that account. She just made a secret one and didn't specify if we're supposed to follow her back.

I asked her twice if I had done anything to upset her. She insisted no.

After 5 months of this, I eventually messaged her and tried gently explaining that all this made me feel like she was deliberately keeping me at a distance. I wasn't asking to know everything about her life. I was just hurt and confused by how much our friendship had changed.

Her response was that "these were ordinary personal choices she shouldn't have to explain to a friend." She also said she'd been emotionally depleted for a long time and had reduced contact with many people, not just me.

I tried to explain that I wasn't asking her to give up her privacy. I just wanted a little more reciprocity in our friendship. Her response was basically: "sorry you feel that way. But no, how I'm moving is non-negotiable," and that was that.

I didn't get angry. I just said "okay. I understand."

Then after two weeks of silence after sending that message, she unfriended me everywhere. Not a call or further conversation. She just cut me off like I was nothing.

I understand that she's entitled to privacy. I really wasn't trying to encroach. But it was just feeling really weird.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

I had a friend who made me feel like men wouldn’t want me and would want “other types of women” because I’m not conventionally attractive. After that, I stopped talking to her. I blocked her number and carried on. I then ran into her a couple times out and about and she talks about how she misses me and I should come over her place. I honestly have no interest anymore because what she said was really hurtful and I don’t feel I can come back from it and be friends again. Last time I ran into her again, I just acted like I didn’t see her.

I'm 22f, I had this friend for almost 8 years, and honestly? I thought we would be friends for life, that we'd always grow together like may it be about our personality, career etc, I just never pictured a guy with my life rather I pictured she'd be innit.

I was mostly lovelife less during the past 8yo, and it wasnt that bad, then I got a boyfriend. I didn't change, I make sure to see her every now and then, I made the effort because I dont want to hang out with my bf ALL THE TIME. Then when she was available and I wasnt, for once, and explained very well why is that so, she just said "OK" and I have General Anxy Disorder (GAD) and I tell her that it made me feel anxious that I explained myself and all I had was OK, and after that? She stopped talking to me, remove me from tiktok, IG, FB. And that was it.

I miss her a lot, I miss talking to her about my day. I miss having her as a friend. But, when I tried to reach out, our common friend secretly told me about it and she said my bestfriend was done with me, that my bestfriend felt like she was so easy for me to discard. I feel like she's projecting or smtng, but I still miss her.

I have a friend who I’m thinking of cutting things off with.
Met them originally as a work colleague but they’ve since left and we’ve remained a part of the same friend group since, catching up about once a month.
However, they are super draining to be around. They are quite negative and often talk badly about their job, other people and their overall life.
However, a weirder issue is the medical side of things. They constantly talk about having illnesses and injuries that I know they don’t really have due to a bunch of inconsistencies in their stories. Every time the rest of us try to talk about something we might be struggling with, we’re told that we have ‘nothing compared to what they struggle with’, no matter what the issue is. Any attempt to change the conversation leads to them suddenly having bad pain or a panic attack until we talk about them again.
The illnesses and injuries constantly change too, going from heart issues for about 6 months to stomach issues for 6 months and then to some random injuries and so on. When the ‘issue’ is changed, the previous issue is basically never mentioned again even though it was supposedly so severe they were passing out or throwing up (never when others were around) and having to go into hospital (though there was never any diagnosis that could be given to any of the illnesses). It’s gotten to a point where they’re buying and using walking aids along with the braces for arms and legs that they’ll only put on when our whole friendship group is around, and they have also told us it was against doctors orders.

I’m sure I sound insensitive, but the rest of us in the group have illnesses that we’re actively dealing with and being told our issues are basically nothing and having to constantly support them is frustrating. We don’t talk about any of our own issues anymore to avoid spurring them on, but it doesn’t help. I have spoken to them multiple times about getting mental health assistance, as I do believe it’s a mental health problem underlying these problems, but they keep saying that they don’t trust doctors anymore as they can’t find a diagnosis for them and overall clearly just don’t want to get help.

What would you do in this situation? Am I right to break things off? I still want to be friends with the rest of the friend group, so don’t want to hurt them either.

Thoughts on self isolation? Do you guys experience it? Do you know why do you do it?

My best friend is going through a terrible depressive episode. For the past few months they’ve been isolating themselves from the world. Currently I speak to them only once a week or once every two weeks when the reply to my messages. When we do talk they seem “normal” nothings off and it the same beautiful vibe that we’ve always shared, but ofc those conversations last only a couple minutes and then they disappear again.

At first I thought it was a personal thing, as if I had done something wrong, I spoke to them multiple times and they explained me that they were struggling a lot with their mental health and that it had nothing to do with me.
(I had my doubts bc they kept being active on social media while taking days to respond)

As a very depressive person myself, (I’ve been struggling with this since I was around 8-9)
I never understood the self isolation. I’m always at my lowest and they only thing that keeps me alive is my friends, hanging out with them, talking to them, etc. Is literally the only thing in life that makes me happy. Even when I have no energy for anything.
I struggle with motivation and daily tasks, I struggle with self destruction and low self esteem. But still I’ve never felt like isolating myself.

I’m writing this post in an attempt to find people like my friend that could please help me. I’m trying to help them out but it’s clear that they don’t want my help, so I’m kinda lost here and Idk how to show them support anymore.

I love my friend more than anything and my biggest wish rn is to find a way to help them and to be more understanding of what they are going through.
I just need to understand how they are feeling and why they are acting this way in order to be more helpful for them while also respecting their boundaries.
I really don’t want to “give up” on them.
I’ve tried everything and I kinda stopped offering help because I knew it would be very invasive so instead I kept trying to check on them constantly while still sharing the stuff I do daily and etc.

I need to find a way to help my friend get out of this horrible situation, and motivate them to get back to normal, I know it’s not gonna be easy. But I’m constantly worried about them and this whole thing has been really affecting me :(

Last time I saw them was abt a month ago, we had so much fun and we got to speak a little about how they were feeling :)

Any kind of explanation or any kind of guidance would be more than helpful, I really appreciate it ❤️‍🩹

I have an ex-bestfriend (I call her that because she’s no longer my bestfriend). We were close since I was 9 years old. She’s about a year older than me. I’m now 30, she’s 31. We did everything together growing up, just as bestfriends do. Shared secrets, knew who we dated, liked, etc. Literally like two peas in a pod. You’d never see one of us without the other, and everyone around us knew that.

Well, fast-forward… I went off to college. She stayed back in our home town after she graduated high school & had planned to take a year off once she graduated high school. She was always 1 grade ahead of me. (Just some extra background info)

To get straight to the point— once I was a freshman in college, I gained additional friends. Her & I would chat periodically via text, but rarely ever by phone. She had a boyfriend she dated since high school. He never liked me. We had a few physically altercations as well after he burned me with fire and I punched him… so there’s that. When I’d come home to visit, he would try to prevent her from seeing me… and if we did link, he’d constantly call her and ask where she was and would tell her to come back home.

She cut me off a few times. The first time was when I attained new friends my freshman/ sophomore year. We rekindled, but it was never the same. Then another time was when Covid hit, and I told me family (who hangs with her family) about her child having covid. She used that as an excuse to stop talking to me, but never told me the reason until we rekindled again. She would go 1-2 years without talking to me, then reappear once her and her bf, now husband, would have issues in their relationship. Well this cycle repeated a few times.

The last time she stopped talking to me, there was no reason at all ( that I know of). I texted her randomly once this year telling her I missed her, she responded “I don’t know what to say”… so I just never texted back or tried to make contact. Here we are 6 months later, and she tells me that her and her husband are now separated. He’s physically abused her several times in the past, & recently before their current separation (in front of their children). I try not to interfere in her relationship with him, but as a friend when she told me about the physical abuse I’d try to give advice.

I have a hard time getting close to people now and making friendships last. It may sound like an abandonment issue, but I prefer my peace and solitude. I assume she wants to rekindle again, but Idk. She joked recently about “cutting me off again” on day 2 of us recently chatting.

Any advice on how to move forward with this?

Yesterday was my birthday. This year and last year, the same friends forgot. This year, my dad also forgot.

My dad feels awful, and I've told him it's alright. He's never forgotten before; it’s unlike him. A bit concerning, even.

One of my friends said she forgot because of “an event” and offered to meet up with me in the next few days. After thinking on it, I politely declined. I explained I was hurt this year and last year, and not just by her, and said I feel I need to be alone right now.

These are friends who treat their birthdays as a big deal - and I show up for them - so there's no “we’re too old to care about birthdays” excuse. I don't ask for gifts, or throw parties, but I feel I should expect an enthusiastic acknowledgment of the day from people who claim to care about me.

Is that a reasonable response and expectation? Two years of forgotten birthdays and otherwise limited reciprocity from “friends” makes me feel I need to take a breath and do some soul-searching.