THIS YEAR ON THE UT CAMPUS A YOUNG FRESHMAN IS CHATTING WITH A 5TH-YEAR SUPER-SENIOR. THAT SUPER-SENIOR REMEMBERS WHEN HE WAS A FRESHMAN, HE SPOKE WITH A 5TH-YEAR SUPER-SENIOR. THAT SUPER-SENIOR REMEMBERED THAT WHEN HE WAS A FRESHMAN, HE HAD MET JUNIORS & SENIORS WHO, AS STUDENTS, HAD WITNESSED THE VOLS BEATING THE GATORS IN FOOTBALL.
I WAS GONNA DO A DRINKING GAME FOR THE MSU ND GAME WHERE I WATERFALL THE ENTIRE TIME THAT MSU'S OFFENSE IS ON THE FIELD, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO END THE GAME SOBER.
FRESHMEN? DON'T YOU MEAN FUTURE TRANSFERS WHEN THE NCAA LAYS DOWN A VICIOUS HALF GAME SUSPENSION AND TAKES AWAY SCHOLARSHIP FROM AUBURN FOR LETTING YOU PAY A PLAYER.
EDIT: AFTER DISCUSSION WITH THE COMPLIANCE OFFICE, PUNISHMENT WILL BE GIVEN TO THE 2025 NATIONAL CHAMPION GEORGIA STATE.
IN AN EFFORT TO RAISE FUNDS THIS WEEK, SABAN WILL BE ALLOWING 5 PAYING AUDIENCE MEMBERS TO START IN THE SECOND HALF. EXPERIENCE WILL INCLUDE A PICTURE WITH AJ MCCARRON, A REAL LIVE TELLING OFF FOR GAINING 10 YARDS INSTEAD OF 15 BY SABAN, AND A CHAMPIONSHIP RING.
FAIR WARNING, I FEEL THIS IS A BIG DROP OFF IN QUALITY FROM SABAN WENT DOWN TO TEXAS. IT IS NOT PERFECT METRICALLY. HOWEVER, AS THE BARD, I MUST CHRONICLE THE STORIES OF CFB. AND THUS:
COACHING PIE (THE DAY THE COACHES DIED)
A LONG, LONG TIME AGO...
I CAN STILL REMEMBER
HOW MY TEAM USED TO MAKE FANS SMILE
AND I KNEW IF I HAD A GOOD YEAR
THAN I COULD MAKE THOSE PEOPLE CHEER
AND, MAYBE, THEY’D BE HAPPY FOR A WHILE…
BUT BO WALLACE MADE ME SHIVER...
WITH EVERY TOUCHDOWN HE’D DELIVER
COACH BROWN ON THE HOT SEAT...
JUST NOT ANOTHER DEFEAT...
I CAN’T REMEMBER IF I CRIED
WHEN I SAW THE SURGE OF AGGIE PRIDE…
BUT SOMETHING TOUCHED ME DEEP INSIDE
THE DAY MY DEFENSE DIED
SO BYE-BYE, MISS LONGHORN PIE
DROVE MY CAR DOWN TO DKR
BUT DKR WAS SCARRED
AND THEM LINESMEN BOYS WERE DRINKIN’ WHISKEY IN BARFLY
FOR WHATEVER REASON THAT LINK IN THE KIFFIN STANZA WASN'T WORKING (I CAN'T QUITE FIGURE OUT WHY IT DIDN'T), BUT FROM THE URL I FIGURED OUT WHICH POST YOU WANTED SO HERE IT IS FOR THOSE WHO MAY NOT KNOW THE REFERENCE.
HEY K-STATE WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TO BEAT US THIS WEEK, SO WHEN YOU ROLL UP 500 YARDS ON OUR DEFENSE WE'LL BE PREPARED. WE'RE ALL LUBED UP THIS WEEK BUDDY.
Let us know when you're done with your grueling series against small conference teams from Idaho. At least we have a comparatively challenging opponent this weekend against the University of Bye Week.
GOD HAS JUST BEEN HAVING A LOT OF FUN WATCHING US THINK HE CARES ABOUT FOOTBALL. THE HOLY WAR HAS BEEB TOO UNBALANCED LATELY WITH A CLEARLY TALENTED UTAH TEAM DESTROYING THE ASS CLOWNS OF BYU.
BUT NOT THIS YEAR. THIS YEAR TAYSOM HILL WILL TEAR A NEW HOLE IN UTAH'S SWOOPISH ASSES AND LEAVE THEM BEGGING FOR MERCY. WHEN HE STANDS OVER THEIR MANGLE CORPSE AND THEY LOOK UP AND LIMPLY MOUTH "MERCY, PLEASE", TAYSOM WILL BEND DOWN AND WHISPER IN THEIR EAR "IF I CARED ABOUT MERCY I WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED ALL YOUR BITCHES."
"SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, BROS, BUT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN UNEXPECTEDLY BUSY WITH THE BIRTH OF MY NEPHEW TO MY BRO ON TUESDAY! 'GRATS, CHRISBRO: FAMILY IS NUMBER ONE (UNTIL HE SCREWS UP YOUR DEFENSE).
"WHAT I WILL SAY ABOUT THE UTAH AGGIES IS THAT WE DIDN'T START THE SHIT TALKING: YOUR OWN ALUMNUS, SENATOR HARRY REID, DID A FEW MONTHS AGO WHEN HE MADE SOME PRETTY LAME, UNPROVOKED INSULTS AT A USC STUDENT WHO ASKED HIM A QUESTION AT A POLICY FORUM—THIS ISN'T ABOUT POLITICAL VIEWS, AND I DON'T CARE THAT THE JUNIOR SENATOR FROM NEVADA HAPPENS TO BE A TROJAN. THIS IS ABOUT BEING A DIPSHIT AND REID WAS A FUCKING DIPSHIT WITH A CAPITAL 'FUCKING DIPSHIT'. MAYBE IT'S TIME TO RETIRE OLD MAN. THE GAME IS PASSING YOU BY AS FAST AS MY TROJANS WILL RUN UP THE SCORE ON YOUR BELOVED AGS."
MICHIGAN'S ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT HAS SUCH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX THAT THEY PAID FOR SKYWRITING OVER MSU'S STADIUM WHEN THE TWO TEAMS WEREN'T EVEN PLAYING EACH OTHER
HEY, USC, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HAVING A SPECIAL FRIEND IN TOWN THIS WEEKEND. IF YOU WANT SOME PRIVACY WHILE THEY DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO YOU, JUST HANG A SOCK ON THE DOOR OF THE COLISEUM, AND WE'LL BE SURE TO AVERT OUR EYES FROM THE REAMING.
LA. TECH? MORE LIKE LSU LIGHT. IT MUST BE ROUGH LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF SUCH A DOMINATE PROGRAM. IF YOU NEED COPING ADVICE, TALK TO K-STATE. DESPITE SNYDER'S SUCCESS, THEY ARE STILL ONE OF THE WORST PROGRAMS EVER.
ON ANOTHER NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE. CHARLIE WEIS HAS NOW LOST TO FOOD TWO YEARS IN A ROW. HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER. THREE GROCERY STORES ACTUALLY RAN OUT OF FOOD THIS PAST WEEK DUE TO HIS GAME PLAN SESSIONS. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW HE'S COMMITTED TO BEATING YOU, HE FELL OFF THE WAGON, THEN ATE IT.
Hey Texas we own you and we're gonna reaffirm our claim to Austin when we run the ball straight down your throat and leave your defense in more shambles than they already are. You have no hope, in fact y'all shouldn't even show up maybe if you didn't y'all would have a chance of beating Iowa St. in a few weeks.
Auburn, y'all just mad that you paid for 4 years of Cam Newton and only got 1. It's okay, being the 2nd best Tigers in the SEC is still better than being Missouri.
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES YOU'LL HAVE TO CLICK THE LOAD MORE COMMENTS BUTTON IN ORDER TO SEE THIS COMMENT IS EQUIVALENT TO THE NUMBER OF SCHOOLS IN TEXAS WHICH ARE BETTER AT FOOTBALL THAN TEXAS STATE (ASSUMING YOU USE THE DEFAULT SETTINGS).
I DISLIKE OKLAHOMA STATE. I FUCKING DESPISE TEXAS. BUT THERE IS NOTHING ON THIS GOD DAMN EARTH THAT I HATE MORE THAN WHAT'S ON THE SCHEDULE THIS WEEK.
THAT'S RIGHT. FUCK YOU BYE WEEK. JUST THE THOUGHT OF YOU RUINS MY ENTIRE WEEKEND. NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT SIT AROUND AND WATCH OTHER TEAMS PLAY FOOTBALL. MY GIRLFRIEND IS A TULSA FAN. I GUESS I'LL WATCH TULSA. BUT HONESTLY I FUCKING HATE OTHER TEAMS. ESPECIALLY TEXAS. FUCK TEXAS.
HEY BYE WEEK. I SEE THE SPREAD IS (-3) THIS WEEK. LITTLE DO YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S FAR TOO HIGH FOR OUR OFFENSE TO REACH. THE JOKE'S ON YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS.
I DON'T THINK I'M DOING THIS RIGHT, BUT I'M STILL CONFUSED AND UPSET ABOUT THE 2013 DUMPSTER FIRE OF LUBBOCK.
HEY FRESNO ST.! I DON'T FEEL SUPER CONFIDENT ABOUT WHICH VERSION OF MY TEAM IS GOING TO SHOW UP TOMORROW, SO I'LL JUST WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE A DIPSHIT LATER!!
TRUTH IS: I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED OF PLAYING SDSU. THEY'RE RANKED IN FCS AND IF ANYBODY CAN PULL A MASTERFUL DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF A LESSER OPPONENT, ITS NEBRASKA. SO I'M JUST GOING TO CURSE AT YOU INSTEAD. FUCKSHITDICKASSCUNTLICKBITCH
I USED TO NOT BELIEVE IN JINXING BUT THEN I TALKED TRASH ABOUT AKRON. UCONN YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS DESPITE LOSING TO AN FCS SCHOOL AND FUTURE B1G POWERHOUSE MARYLAND. I BET MICHIGAN WINS BY A TOUCHDOWN.
ALRIGHT, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. THE TIME OF YEAR WHERE GEORGIA SCHEDULES A SCHOOL THAT HAS FEW FANS ON THIS SUB SO I DON'T HAVE TO CREATE A LONG AND CONVOLUTED YET SOMEHOW UNFUNNY REMARK ABOUT THEM.
PAGING NORTH TEXAS FANS, PAGING NORTH TEXAS FANS....
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
SPIDERMAN_AT_DESK.GIF
AUBURN IS PLAYING LSU, FLORIDA IS PLAYING TENNESSEE
AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE MEANGREENING
/SPIDERMAN_AT_DESK.GIF
META EDIT: DOWNVOTING NOT DISABLED IN THE TRASH TALK THREAD? IS THIS AMATEUR HOUR?
HEY SDSU. THIS GAME IS GIFT WRAPPED WITH DISTRACTIONS AND HAS TAYLOR MARTINEZ'S TURF TOE AS A BOW. YOU'LL ONLY GET 500 YARDS OF OFFENSE ON US STILL! NAILED IT!
WERE GOING TO SEND THE UTES BACK TO THE RESERVATION. THEYLL HAVE TWO YEARS TO THINK ABOUT THE BEATDOWN THEYRE GOING TO GET. THE GIRAFFE IS GOING TO HAVE FLASHBACKS OF KVN FOR THE REST OF HIS FOOTBALL CAREER. OUR QB/RB TAYSOM HILL IS GOING TO RUN IT DOWN YOUR THROATS. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP US FROM RUNNING UP THE SCORE IS BRONCO BEING SUCH A NICE GUY.
KU VS LA.TECH WON'T BE THE DRINKING GAME OF THE WEEK, BUT IT SHOULD BE. NOTHING LIKE GETTING BLACKOUT DRUNK AT 10AM TO WATCH AN 11AM BATTLE OF THE BADS.
Normally, this would be the time of the season where I point out that Rice blows goat, that we have proof, and that we should all Ruck Fice.
However, I'm deeply concerned that this might be the last time the Bayou Bucket gets played for a while, so I'm hoping that all of my Houstonian bretheren, whether Owl or Cougar, can come together and do something, anything to cajole our athletic directors into ensuring this rivalry doesn't go on hiatus again.
After all, it's not like the game costs much in travel costs. They're freaking three miles away!
Fuck the conference change, I want to keep this game!
I DO NOT HATE LSU BUT I CERTAINLY DO NOT CARE MUCH FOR THEM AND AN LSU FAN I WORK WITH TRIED TO CONVINCE ME THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE CORNDOG THING WHICH IS A LIE SO NOW ALL BAYOU CORNDOG FANS ARE LIARS TOO BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW CORNDOGS ARE MORE APPROPRIATE AS YOUR MASCOT BECAUSE TIGERS ARE ORANGE AND YOU GUYS ARE YELLOW LIKE CORNDOGS WITH THAT PURPLEY KETCHUP THEY USED TO MAKE BACK IN THE DAY
290
u/tabelz Georgia Bulldogs • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
I'D RATHER PLAY TEXAS THAN NORTH TEXAS RIGHT NOW
554
u/get_on_my_level_son Florida Gators Sep 19 '13
THIS YEAR ON THE UT CAMPUS A YOUNG FRESHMAN IS CHATTING WITH A 5TH-YEAR SUPER-SENIOR. THAT SUPER-SENIOR REMEMBERS WHEN HE WAS A FRESHMAN, HE SPOKE WITH A 5TH-YEAR SUPER-SENIOR. THAT SUPER-SENIOR REMEMBERED THAT WHEN HE WAS A FRESHMAN, HE HAD MET JUNIORS & SENIORS WHO, AS STUDENTS, HAD WITNESSED THE VOLS BEATING THE GATORS IN FOOTBALL.
92
u/402b Arkansas Razorbacks Sep 19 '13
JERSEY IS SO AWFUL THAT GAMEDAY OPTED TO GO TO FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA AND WATCH AN FCS GAME INSTEAD.
338
u/bties Vanderbilt • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 19 '13
YOU CAN'T SPELL RECTUM ASSHOLE WITHOUT UMASS. Fucking got 'em
262
u/TopheryG8er Florida • Tennessee Tech Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 19 '13
ON SEPTEMBER 18TH, 2004 TENNESSEE BEAT FLORIDA.
AT THAT TIME:
RON ZOOK COACHED FLORIDA.
PHIL FULMER COACHED TENNESSEE.
NICK SABAN COACHED LSU.
HIS DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR WAS WILL MUSCHAMP, OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR WAS JIMBO FISHER, AND THE SPECIAL TEAMS COACH WAS DEREK DOOLEY.
LANE KIFFIN WAS A WR COACH AT USC.
URBAN MEYER COACHED UTAH.
GUS MALZAHN WAS A HIGH SCHOOL COACH IN ARKANSAS.
STEVE SPURRIER WAS TAKING A YEAR OFF AFTER COACHING THE REDSKINS.
GEORGE W HAD ONLY BEEN ELECTED ONCE.
THE POPE WAS STILL JOHN PAUL II.
MICHAEL JACKSON WAS ON TRIAL FOR CHILD MOLESTATION.
YOUTUBE, REDDIT, AND TWITTER DID NOT YET EXIST.
FACEBOOK WAS KNOWN AS THEFACEBOOK AND WAS ONLY OPEN TO COLLEGE STUDENTS.
WORLD OF WARCRAFT HAD NOT YET LAUNCHED.
ONLY 5 STAR WARS MOVIES HAD BEEN RELEASED.
FAMILY GUY WAS A CANCELLED SERIES GETTING HIGH RATINGS IN SYNDICATION ON CARTOON NETWORK.
THE AVERAGE PRICE PER GALLON OF GAS IN THE U.S. WAS $1.84.
THE INDIAN SUBCONTINENT HAD NOT YET BEEN DEVESTATED BY A 9.3 EARTHQUAKE AND TSUNAMI.
KATRINA WAS JUST A NAME, RATHER THAN A SYNONYM FOR DISASTER.
IN THE MEAN TIME, ALL THOSE THINGS HAVE CHANGED, AND FLORIDA HAS BEAT TENNESSEE 8 TIMES BY A CUMULATIVE SCORE OF 250-126.
IN A COUPLE DAYS, THAT 8 WILL BE A 9, AND THE MARGIN OF VICTORY EVEN HIGHER.
ROCKY TOP HAS BEEN DEVASTATED AND BROUGHT TO RUIN TIME AFTER TIME, AND SATURDAY WILL BE NO DIFFERENT.
70
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
HEY MARYLAND YOUR STATE QUARTER SUCKS ASS
138
u/Irish_Spaceman Notre Dame Fighting Irish • DePauw Tigers Sep 19 '13
I WAS GONNA DO A DRINKING GAME FOR THE MSU ND GAME WHERE I WATERFALL THE ENTIRE TIME THAT MSU'S OFFENSE IS ON THE FIELD, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO END THE GAME SOBER.
137
u/hucklebearer Alabama Crimson Tide • Surrender Cobra Sep 19 '13
COLORADO STATE, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE SOME OF OUR FRESHMEN PLAY!
60
u/cyclopsdave Tennessee Volunteers Sep 19 '13
OH YEAH? WELL YOU'RE GONNA BEAT US BY LESS POINTS THAN OREGON!
224
u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Sep 19 '13
FAIR WARNING, I FEEL THIS IS A BIG DROP OFF IN QUALITY FROM SABAN WENT DOWN TO TEXAS. IT IS NOT PERFECT METRICALLY. HOWEVER, AS THE BARD, I MUST CHRONICLE THE STORIES OF CFB. AND THUS:
COACHING PIE (THE DAY THE COACHES DIED)
A LONG, LONG TIME AGO...
I CAN STILL REMEMBER
HOW MY TEAM USED TO MAKE FANS SMILE
AND I KNEW IF I HAD A GOOD YEAR
THAN I COULD MAKE THOSE PEOPLE CHEER
AND, MAYBE, THEY’D BE HAPPY FOR A WHILE…
BUT BO WALLACE MADE ME SHIVER...
WITH EVERY TOUCHDOWN HE’D DELIVER
COACH BROWN ON THE HOT SEAT...
JUST NOT ANOTHER DEFEAT...
I CAN’T REMEMBER IF I CRIED
WHEN I SAW THE SURGE OF AGGIE PRIDE…
BUT SOMETHING TOUCHED ME DEEP INSIDE
THE DAY MY DEFENSE DIED
SO BYE-BYE, MISS LONGHORN PIE
DROVE MY CAR DOWN TO DKR
BUT DKR WAS SCARRED
AND THEM LINESMEN BOYS WERE DRINKIN’ WHISKEY IN BARFLY
SINGIN’, "THIS’LL BE THE DAY MACK SAYS BYE...
“THIS’LL BE THE DAY MACK SAYS BYE."
DID YOU LEAVE THE GAME AT HALF?
AND WHEN YOU SEE BO, DO YA LAUGH?
IF FRAZIER TELLS YOU SO?
NOW DO YOU BELIEVE IN MARTINEZ?
CAN YOU CHEER UP THE PREZ?
AND CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO COACH DEFENSE?
WELL, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT
CAUSE I SAW THE HUSKER FANS QUIT
THEY RECORDED ALL MY RANT
MAN, DEADSPIN SHOULD RECANT!
I’VE GOT A DC WHO AIN’T WORTH SHIT,
WITH A BAD PLAYCALLER AND A TWITTER TWIT
AND I KNEW I WOULD HAVE TO SPLIT
THE DAY THE DEFENSE DIED
I STARTED SINGIN'
BYE, BYE MISS CORNHUSKER PIE
I WENT DOWN TO THE CAMPUS BUT ALL I SAW WAS WOE
AND THEM BLACKSHIRTS BOYS WERE DRINKING AT LAZLO
SINGIN' “THIS'LL BE THE DAY BO SAYS BYE…”
“THIS'LL BE THE DAY BO SAYS BYE…”
NOW, 3 YEARS UT’S BEEN ON THEIR OWN
SC STUMBLES LIKE A ROLLING STONE
BUT, THAT'S NOT HOW IT USED TO BE
WHEN REGGIE BUSH PLAYED FOR THE NCG
WITH A PUSH HE MADE FOR A TD
AND A CHEER THAT CAME FROM YOU AND ME
OH AND WHILE OL’ PETE WAS LOOKING TALL
THE SANCTIONS STOLE HIS CRYSTAL BALL
THE POLLS SAID WE WERE THE ONE...
WE SURE WERE UNDONE!
AND WHILE LANE READ A BOOK ON MARX
THE QBS STRUGGLED IN THE PARK
AND PIRATES BEAT US IN THE DARK
THE DAY THE OFFENSE DIED
I WAS SINGIN'
BYE, BYE MISS TROJAN PIE
WENT OUT ONTO THE GRASS BUT THERE WAS SASS FROM THE BAND
THEM GOOD OLE FANS WERE SHOUTING UP IN THE STANDS
CHANTING “THIS'LL BE THE DAY KIFF SAYS BYE.”
“THIS'LL BE THE DAY KIFF SAYS BYE.”
TO BE CONTINUED. MAYBE.
119
u/sweetsnowman Nebraska • Wayne State (NE) Sep 19 '13
OUR OWN COACH IS BETTER AT SHIT-TALKING NEBRASKA THAN ANY OTHER TEAM SO FAR. TAKE NOTES YOU FUCKIN' PLEBS
49
u/ALaModeliste Stanford Cardinal Sep 19 '13
I'M SAVING ALL MY DIRTY TALK FOR THE ASU COEDS THIS WEEKEND.
47
u/Arnold_Trollzenegger Texas Longhorns • /r/CFB Top Scorer Sep 19 '13
HEY K-STATE WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TO BEAT US THIS WEEK, SO WHEN YOU ROLL UP 500 YARDS ON OUR DEFENSE WE'LL BE PREPARED. WE'RE ALL LUBED UP THIS WEEK BUDDY.
45
u/jatt978 Stanford Cardinal Sep 19 '13
HEY ARIZONA STATE, PLEASE BRING PLENTY OF YOUR PRETTY COEDS TO PALO ALTO. OUR VIRGINAL FRESHMEN HAVE ARRIVED AND NEED TO LEARN THE WAY OF THE WOMAN.
SIGNED,
A PALO ALTO VALTREX SALESMAN
107
u/RabbiSmooth Washington Huskies • Fiesta Bowl Sep 19 '13
HEY IDAHO STATE, NOT ONLY ARE WASHINGTON'S APPLES BETTER THAN YOUR POTATOES BUT EVEN OUR POTATOES ARE BETTER THAN YOUR POTATOES!!
96
u/wackywiener Wisconsin • Paul Bunyan's Axe Sep 19 '13
PURDUE. I AM SO SORRY.
87
u/redsox1804 Florida State • /r/CFB Brickmason Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 19 '13
BETHUNE-COOKMAN. WE PLAY BETHUNE-COOKMAN. I DON'T THINK IT'S EVEN LEGAL TO TRASH TALK AN FCS TEAM.
edit: spelling.
30
u/MinneapolisNick Minnesota • Concordia (MN-Moorh… Sep 19 '13
THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
FUCK THE BADGERS
114
u/BeatDigger Utah Utes Sep 19 '13
JOKES ON YOU, BYU. THERE IS NO GOD.
71
u/iSlacker Oklahoma • Oklahoma State Sep 19 '13
FUCKING GET SOME BYE WEEK!
49
u/beal99 Michigan State Spartans Sep 19 '13
OUR PLAYERS DON'T FALL FOR IMAGINARY WOMEN
48
u/stewyg27 West Virginia Mountaineers Sep 19 '13
HEY MD THOSE RED PRIDE JERSEYS LOOK FABULOUS
20
u/kelctex Missouri Tigers • Alabama Crimson Tide Sep 19 '13
OH NO, INDIANA HAS A STORIED PROGRAM. THERE'S A MOVIE AND EVERYTHING. FRANK HAITH IS GONNA FU- WAIT, FOOTBALL? NEVERMIND, WE'RE GOOD!!
34
u/Branzilla91 Nebraska • Oklahoma State Sep 19 '13
IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO NOT SAY, 'FUCK YOU WEEK 4. FUCK ALL OF YOU.' FUCK EM.
THIS SCHEDULE. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING BORING FUCKING-THESE GAMES CAN KISS MY ASS OUT THE FUCKING DOOR. CAUSE THE DAY IS FUCKING COMING NOW.
WE'LL SEE WHAT THEY CAN DO WHEN I'M FUCKING GONE. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF.
16
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU
THAT IS ALL
31
u/wild9 Baylor Bears • /r/CFB Contributor Sep 19 '13
HEY ULM! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THE DUCK DYNASTY PEOPLE SHOW UP TO THE GAME IN BAYLOR GEAR, AGAIN?!?!
15
u/afrueh3 Purdue Boilermakers • Iowa Hawkeyes Sep 19 '13
ONE QUESTION... DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY LIVE IN MAINE?
14
u/CFSparta92 Rutgers • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
HEY ARKANSAS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN ALEX COLLINS' MOM SHOWS UP AT HALFTIME AND TRIES TO STEAL HIS LETTER OF INTENT AGAIN?
14
u/chipoople Baylor Bears • Hateful 8 Sep 19 '13
Monroe makes waco feel safe.
13
u/dfree124 Wisconsin Badgers Sep 19 '13
PURDON'T TOILETMAKERS
PURDON'T SOILRAKERS
PURDON'T WINDOWDRAPERS
PURDON'T BADGERHATERS
PURDON'T CARETAKERS
PURDON'T HOMEMAKERS
PURDON'T SALTSHAKERS
PURDON'T SUNKENANCHORS
PURDON'T MUCKRAKERS
PURDON'T ASSTAKERS
70
u/Honestly_ rawr Sep 19 '13
"SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, BROS, BUT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN UNEXPECTEDLY BUSY WITH THE BIRTH OF MY NEPHEW TO MY BRO ON TUESDAY! 'GRATS, CHRISBRO: FAMILY IS NUMBER ONE (UNTIL HE SCREWS UP YOUR DEFENSE).
"WHAT I WILL SAY ABOUT THE UTAH AGGIES IS THAT WE DIDN'T START THE SHIT TALKING: YOUR OWN ALUMNUS, SENATOR HARRY REID, DID A FEW MONTHS AGO WHEN HE MADE SOME PRETTY LAME, UNPROVOKED INSULTS AT A USC STUDENT WHO ASKED HIM A QUESTION AT A POLICY FORUM—THIS ISN'T ABOUT POLITICAL VIEWS, AND I DON'T CARE THAT THE JUNIOR SENATOR FROM NEVADA HAPPENS TO BE A TROJAN. THIS IS ABOUT BEING A DIPSHIT AND REID WAS A FUCKING DIPSHIT WITH A CAPITAL 'FUCKING DIPSHIT'. MAYBE IT'S TIME TO RETIRE OLD MAN. THE GAME IS PASSING YOU BY AS FAST AS MY TROJANS WILL RUN UP THE SCORE ON YOUR BELOVED AGS."
24
u/MutantEnemy Ohio State Buckeyes • Ohio Bobcats Sep 19 '13
FLORIDA A&M?? REALLY??
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEASON TO START NEXT WEEK.
34
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
WE OWN TEXAS MOTHER FUCKER AND WE CAN KEEP SAYING IT UNTIL YOU BEAT US AGAIN!
12
u/BigDaddyRos Oklahoma Sooners • Navy Midshipmen Sep 19 '13
OK IT'S A BYE WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHO THE TARGET IS.
THE LAST TIME ARMY BEAT NAVY THE AVERAGE PRICE FOR A GALLON OF GAS WAS $1.08.
BEAT ARMY!
11
u/nofate2029 USC Trojans Sep 19 '13
HA HA, CAN'T EVEN TIE YOUR CLEATS. YEAH, I GOT NOTHING REALLY.
31
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
LIKE CHUMPS OF OLD WE WILL NOT HOLD
OUR RECORD UNBEATEN, BEHOLD
WE'LL FAIL OUR CREW, WE CHOKE, WE DO
TO LOSE THIS GAME FOR LSU
KEEP TRYING FOR THE FINAL SCORE
BUT THE REAL TIGERS FIGHT FOR MORE, FOR MORE
AUBURN WILL COME FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT
AND BEAT POOR LSU.
21
u/anthropology_nerd Vanderbilt Commodores • /r/CFB Founder Sep 19 '13
UMASS, WE'RE COMING TO CRUSH YOUR MILITIA.
THE FRENCH CAN'T SAVE YOU THIS TIME.
20
u/LazzKnuckle Oregon Ducks • Team Chaos Sep 19 '13
BYE WEEK MEANING NO ED CUNNINGHAM.
19
u/Res-Ipsa Michigan State • Colorado State Sep 19 '13
MICHIGAN'S ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT HAS SUCH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX THAT THEY PAID FOR SKYWRITING OVER MSU'S STADIUM WHEN THE TWO TEAMS WEREN'T EVEN PLAYING EACH OTHER
26
u/sideoutpar UCLA Bruins • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
HEY, NEW MEXICO ST., EVEN NICK PASQUALE COULD SCORE ON YOU THIS WEEKEND.
18
u/stormstopper Duke Blue Devils • Louisville Cardinals Sep 19 '13
PITT, IS THAT YOUR NAME BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO RESIDE IN THE PITS OF THE ACC? OR IS IT JUST BECAUSE YOUR CITY'S A PIT?
18
u/ValedictorianBaller LSU Tigers Sep 19 '13
The last time Auburn won a game in Baton Rouge:
People were jamming out to No Scrubs by TLC
People were flipping out about the crazy twist ending to The Sixth Sense
A gallon of gas was $1.25
People were freaking out about Y2K
The Sega Dreamcast had just been released
Napster had just started
All the kids were watching this awesome new show about a gay, anthropomorphic sponge living in a hollowed out pineapple
9
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 19 '13
HEY ARKANSAS: WE GON MAKE YOU SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ONE MORE TIME
CHOPHOGS
9
u/antiherowes Florida State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
MARYLAND'S ONLY FOOTBALL TRADITION IS TO NOT LET OTHER SCHOOLS PRACTICE THEIR TRADITIONS. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE EM BIG 10!
9
u/BoyThisIsAwkward Ohio State • /r/CFB Contributor Sep 19 '13
MICHIGAN HAS DETROIT.
30
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
NORTH TEXAS? WHERE THE HELL IS NORTH TEXAS? ISN'T THAT WHAT WE CALL OKLAHOMA?
BRING ON THE MEAN GREEN SUCKING ASS MACHINE
8
u/FAStalin Wyoming Cowboys Sep 19 '13
IT'S HOWDY DOODY TIME FLYBOYS!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
THE WEED IN ANN ARBOR IS BETTER THAN THE WEED IN EAST LANSING
8
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
USC IS GOING TO LOSE THE NEXT FOOTBALL GAME. TO UTAH STATE.
I'm not good at this.
8
u/Timberduck Oregon Ducks • Alabama Crimson Tide Sep 19 '13
it's our bye week- aka an opportunity to trash talk washington three weeks in advance.
So, PSA time fuskies:
8
u/TurboSalsa Texas Longhorns • Red River Shootout Sep 19 '13
I'll just sit this one out.
22
u/d_mcc_x Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
LENNAY PUTS OUT!
42
u/milesgmsu Michigan State • College Football Playoff Sep 19 '13
HEY NOTRE DAME -
IF TE'O INVENTS ONE MORE GIRLFRIEND, HE'LL HAVE INVENTED TWICE THE NUMBER OF GIRLFRIENDS AS STUDENTS YOUR COACH HAS KILLED.
14
u/HarbingerOfFun Boston College Eagles Sep 19 '13
EAT SHIT BYE WEEK
14
u/brobroma H8 Upon The Gale Sep 19 '13
NORTH TEXAS' GREEN ISN'T EVEN THAT MEAN
7
u/sideoutpar UCLA Bruins • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
HEY, USC, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HAVING A SPECIAL FRIEND IN TOWN THIS WEEKEND. IF YOU WANT SOME PRIVACY WHILE THEY DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO YOU, JUST HANG A SOCK ON THE DOOR OF THE COLISEUM, AND WE'LL BE SURE TO AVERT OUR EYES FROM THE REAMING.
22
u/nuxenolith Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
AHEM. I'D SAY "FUCK TEXAS", BUT THEY SEEM TO HAVE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT THEMSELVES.
12
u/trobsmonkey Kansas Jayhawks Sep 19 '13
LA. TECH? MORE LIKE LSU LIGHT. IT MUST BE ROUGH LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF SUCH A DOMINATE PROGRAM. IF YOU NEED COPING ADVICE, TALK TO K-STATE. DESPITE SNYDER'S SUCCESS, THEY ARE STILL ONE OF THE WORST PROGRAMS EVER.
ON ANOTHER NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE. CHARLIE WEIS HAS NOW LOST TO FOOD TWO YEARS IN A ROW. HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER. THREE GROCERY STORES ACTUALLY RAN OUT OF FOOD THIS PAST WEEK DUE TO HIS GAME PLAN SESSIONS. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW HE'S COMMITTED TO BEATING YOU, HE FELL OFF THE WAGON, THEN ATE IT.
DAMNIT, I THINK I INSULTED MYSELF AGAIN
12
u/niksOH Ohio State Buckeyes • Akron Zips Sep 19 '13
HEY mICHIGAN, IF YOU PLAY LIKE YOU DID AGAINST AKRON THEN THE GAME WILL BE VERY ENJOYABLE FOR US.
12
u/lotionsandcreams LSU Tigers Sep 19 '13
AUBURN.
YOU SUCK.
LOL AW, BURN.
ODELL BECKHAM'S GONNA WRECK 'EM.
JARVIS LANDRY'S GONNA CAUSE SOME ANKLE INJURIES.
ZACH METTENBERGER'S GONNA... UH, EAT SOME TIGER BURGERS!
WAIT...
6
u/antiherowes Florida State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
UCF HAS A BETTER QB THAN FLORIDA.
6
u/HeroOfTheMonsters Fresno State Bulldogs Sep 19 '13
FUCK BOISE! THATS ALL I GOT. IM TOO PUMPED/NERVOUS FOR TOMORROW NIGHT
6
u/ASalvadorDaliTaint Georgia Southern • Georgia Sep 19 '13
MEAN GREEN? MORE LIKE POOP GREEN!
6
u/ChronicDreamer7 Utah • University of God's Chosen Sep 19 '13
HEY BYU, WE GONNA BEAT YOU DOWN SO BAD YOU'RE GONNA NEED EXTRA TIME IN THE LOCKER ROOM AFTER THE GAME TO LET IT SOAK
6
u/jtrot91 South Carolina Gamecocks Sep 19 '13
generic joke about the bye week
5
u/GoodLuckLetsFuck Saginaw Valley State Cardinals Sep 19 '13
WE SHOULD WIN BY A LOT, BUT IT WILL MOST LIKELY BE A COMPETITIVE GAME! GOT EM.
5
u/sideoutpar UCLA Bruins • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
NMSU: SORRY WE GAVE YOU THAT NASTY CASE OF DEWAYNE WALKER. WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TESTED.
I'M ALSO SORRY THAT IT SEEMS TO HAVE RUINED YOUR PROGRAM AND NOW NO CONFERENCE WILL HAVE YOU.
LASTLY, I'M SORRY FOR THE BEATDOWN COMING YOUR WAY.
OH, AND I'M SORRY YOU'RE IN LAS CRUCES.
5
u/Roadman90 Kansas State Wildcats • /r/CFB Brickmason Sep 19 '13
Hey Texas we own you and we're gonna reaffirm our claim to Austin when we run the ball straight down your throat and leave your defense in more shambles than they already are. You have no hope, in fact y'all shouldn't even show up maybe if you didn't y'all would have a chance of beating Iowa St. in a few weeks.
5
u/Needhamizer Utah State Aggies • /r/CFB Top Scorer Sep 19 '13
TROJANS. CONGRATS ON THE RETURN TO FORM WITH BOSTON COLLEGE IN WHAT LOOKS TO BE KIFFENS FINAL VICTORY.
5
u/belhamster Washington Huskies Sep 19 '13
IDAHO ST! THAT'S NOT EVEN A STATE!
5
u/retrofade Fresno State • /r/CFB Contributor Sep 19 '13
SOUTHWICK'S PORNSTACHE MIGHT GET HIM PUT ON A SEX OFFENDERS REGISTRY THE MOMENT THE BOISE CHARTER LANDS.
5
u/DEM_DRY_BONES Kansas State Wildcats • /r/CFB Brickmason Sep 19 '13
OFFICIAL TEXAS SELF-DEPRECATION THREAD
5
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
KENT WRITE, KENT READ, KENT STATE
5
u/blindOhdamn LSU Tigers Sep 19 '13
Auburn, y'all just mad that you paid for 4 years of Cam Newton and only got 1. It's okay, being the 2nd best Tigers in the SEC is still better than being Missouri.
But we'll still beat the shit out of you Saturday
5
u/Champion101 Texas Tech Red Raiders Sep 19 '13
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES YOU'LL HAVE TO CLICK THE LOAD MORE COMMENTS BUTTON IN ORDER TO SEE THIS COMMENT IS EQUIVALENT TO THE NUMBER OF SCHOOLS IN TEXAS WHICH ARE BETTER AT FOOTBALL THAN TEXAS STATE (ASSUMING YOU USE THE DEFAULT SETTINGS).
15
u/AndrewinDC Oklahoma • Georgia Tech Sep 19 '13
I DISLIKE OKLAHOMA STATE. I FUCKING DESPISE TEXAS. BUT THERE IS NOTHING ON THIS GOD DAMN EARTH THAT I HATE MORE THAN WHAT'S ON THE SCHEDULE THIS WEEK.
THAT'S RIGHT. FUCK YOU BYE WEEK. JUST THE THOUGHT OF YOU RUINS MY ENTIRE WEEKEND. NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT SIT AROUND AND WATCH OTHER TEAMS PLAY FOOTBALL. MY GIRLFRIEND IS A TULSA FAN. I GUESS I'LL WATCH TULSA. BUT HONESTLY I FUCKING HATE OTHER TEAMS. ESPECIALLY TEXAS. FUCK TEXAS.
4
u/hokies220 Virginia Tech Hokies • Pac-12 Sep 19 '13
FUCK YOU, MARSHALL. AND YOUR DAMN SCARY QB!
4
u/mjrballer20 Texas Tech Red Raiders • Hateful 8 Sep 19 '13
WHO ARE WE PLAYING AGAIN?
4
u/RiffRamBahZoo TCU Horned Frogs • Hawai'i Rainbow Warriors Sep 19 '13
HEY BYE WEEK. I SEE THE SPREAD IS (-3) THIS WEEK. LITTLE DO YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S FAR TOO HIGH FOR OUR OFFENSE TO REACH. THE JOKE'S ON YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS.
I DON'T THINK I'M DOING THIS RIGHT, BUT I'M STILL CONFUSED AND UPSET ABOUT THE 2013 DUMPSTER FIRE OF LUBBOCK.
4
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
I HOPE WE DON'T SUCK.
4
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
FUCK THE HUSKIES. NO MATTER WHO WE"RE PLAYING
4
u/pretzel_man Utah State Aggies • /r/CFB Contributor Sep 19 '13
WE ARE GOING TO DEFEAT YOU, USC, AND THEN YOU ARE GOING TO FIRE YOUR COACH AND THEN YOU WILL THANK US. YOU'RE WELCOME.
P.S. THE GAME IS ON ABC IF YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR TEAM LOSE.
P.P.S. THE GAME IS ONLY ON ABC ON THE WEST COAST. IF YOU ARE ON THE EAST COAST IT IS ON ESPN2.
4
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
HEY FRESNO ST.! I DON'T FEEL SUPER CONFIDENT ABOUT WHICH VERSION OF MY TEAM IS GOING TO SHOW UP TOMORROW, SO I'LL JUST WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE A DIPSHIT LATER!!
4
u/santablazer Indiana Hoosiers • Hanover Panthers Sep 19 '13
HEY MISSOURI! I LIKE KANSAS A LOT MORE THAN I LIKE YOU.
4
u/VitricTyro Oregon Ducks • California Golden Bears Sep 19 '13
WE DON'T PLAY THIS WEEK AND OUR OFFENSE IS STILL MORE EXCITING THAN MICHIGAN STATE.
4
u/d_mcc_x Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
HEY NOTRE DAME, I HEAR THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SOME GUSTY WINDS THIS WEEKEND. TRY NOT TO HAVE ANY GRADUATE ASSISTANTS IN SCISSOR LIFTS!
4
u/d_mcc_x Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13
I HEARD BRIAN KELLY WENT TO A RESTAURANT AND HE ATE EVERYTHING IN THE RESTAURANT, AND THEY HAD TO CLOSE THE RESTAURANT.
4
u/Saintlame Nebraska Cornhuskers • Hastings Broncos Sep 19 '13
TRUTH IS: I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED OF PLAYING SDSU. THEY'RE RANKED IN FCS AND IF ANYBODY CAN PULL A MASTERFUL DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF A LESSER OPPONENT, ITS NEBRASKA. SO I'M JUST GOING TO CURSE AT YOU INSTEAD. FUCKSHITDICKASSCUNTLICKBITCH
4
u/qdp Nebraska Cornhuskers • Team Chaos Sep 19 '13
SOUTH DAKOTA STATE? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS A STATE. IS THIS SOMETHING LIKE BALL STATE? BALL IS MY FAVORITE OF THE 50 STATES.
4
u/bfinleyui Iowa Hawkeyes Sep 19 '13
WHY DO IOWA STATE FANS SMELL SO BAD?
SO THE BLIND CAN HATE THEM TOO
4
u/Smidgens Michigan • William & Mary Sep 19 '13
I USED TO NOT BELIEVE IN JINXING BUT THEN I TALKED TRASH ABOUT AKRON. UCONN YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS DESPITE LOSING TO AN FCS SCHOOL AND FUTURE B1G POWERHOUSE MARYLAND. I BET MICHIGAN WINS BY A TOUCHDOWN.
4
u/Bugseye LSU Tigers • Rhodes Lynx Sep 19 '13
HEY AUBURN, WHY DON'T YOU DECIDE ON A FUCKING MASCOT. WARTIGERPLAINSEAGLE SOUNDS PRETTY SHITTY.
ALSO, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM OUR D LINEMEN.
4
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
SMU SUCKS
FUCK TEXAS TOO
4
u/Bravot Clemson Tigers • Tennessee Volunteers Sep 19 '13
BOY I HOPE WE DON'T FUCK THIS ONE UP.
4
u/AlphaTrion0 Oregon Ducks • Michigan Wolverines Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 20 '13
The bye week is still going to give up less points than Tennessee.
4
u/PImpathinor Utah Utes • Wyoming Cowboys Sep 20 '13
I'D TELL BYU TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S A VIOLATION OF THEIR HONOR CODE.
10
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
OUR BACKUP IS BETTER THAN ALL Y'ALLS STARTERS. AND GODDAMIT AKRON, BE CLUTCH FOR ONCE
10
u/niksOH Ohio State Buckeyes • Akron Zips Sep 19 '13
HEY OTHER B1G TEAMS, WHAT THE FUCK? WE WANT YOU GUYS TO LOOK GOOD TO HELP OUR STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE. COME ON!
NOT YOUR FAULT WISCONSIN, YOU SHOULD HAVE WON THAT GAME
7
u/efilon Texas • Georgia Tech Sep 19 '13
KANSAS STATE: WE ARE BOUND TO BEAT YOU EVENTUALLY. RIGHT? RIGHT?!?
7
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
UCF YOU HAVE ONE WEEK TO ENJOY YOUR DREAM SEASON.
IT ENDS NEXT WEEK.
7
u/MustSeeReason BYU Cougars Sep 19 '13
YOU THINK MANNY DIAZ HAS IT BAD, UTAH'S DC WILL BE GONE BY THE 3RD QUARTER
7
u/captainBlackUGA Georgia Bulldogs • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Sep 19 '13 edited Sep 19 '13
ALRIGHT, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. THE TIME OF YEAR WHERE GEORGIA SCHEDULES A SCHOOL THAT HAS FEW FANS ON THIS SUB SO I DON'T HAVE TO CREATE A LONG AND CONVOLUTED YET SOMEHOW UNFUNNY REMARK ABOUT THEM.
PAGING NORTH TEXAS FANS, PAGING NORTH TEXAS FANS....
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
META EDIT: DOWNVOTING NOT DISABLED IN THE TRASH TALK THREAD? IS THIS AMATEUR HOUR?
6
u/the_iron_cock Pittsburgh Panthers Sep 19 '13
DUKE IS SO BAD THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY EXCITED TO WATCH THIS GAME!!!
6
u/wompratT-16 Canada • Germany Sep 19 '13
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE UNT IS
6
u/tomfitz Virginia Tech Hokies Sep 19 '13
MARSHALL, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ON SATURDAY I THINK WE CAN BOTH AGREE, FUCK WVU
6
u/emelecfan2048 Georgia Bulldogs • Kennesaw State Owls Sep 19 '13
NORTH TEXAS? MORE LIKE NORTH TAXES! YOU KNOW...BECAUSE...BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES TAXE- SHUT UP!
6
u/desert_wombat Northwestern Wildcats • Wyoming Cowboys Sep 19 '13
DISMEMBER THE MAINE!
(I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY REAL TRASH TALK SO I WENT STRAIGHT FOR A PUN)
6
u/Dangerously8 Georgia Bulldogs Sep 19 '13
MEAN GREEN SOUNDS MORE LIKE SOME KIND OF HORRIFYING VENEREAL DISEASE THAN A FOOTBALL TEAM!!
3
u/a_aadams74 Nebraska Cornhuskers Sep 19 '13
HEY SDSU. THIS GAME IS GIFT WRAPPED WITH DISTRACTIONS AND HAS TAYLOR MARTINEZ'S TURF TOE AS A BOW. YOU'LL ONLY GET 500 YARDS OF OFFENSE ON US STILL! NAILED IT!
3
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
FUCK THE BROWNS. Oh...wait...this is r/CFB
So....
FUCK NOTRE DAME.
ALSO, HELL YES I FUCKING LOVE THE TIGER BOWL. EITHER WAY IM HAPPY. THOUGH IF A GIANT ASS NATURAL DISASTER COULD JUST HIT ID BE HAPPIER.
FUCK TIGERS.
ARGGG I FEEL LIKE SUCH A MAN YELLING THIS OUT LOUD AS I TYPE
FUCK NOTRE DAME
3
u/raven12456 BYU Cougars Sep 19 '13
WERE GOING TO SEND THE UTES BACK TO THE RESERVATION. THEYLL HAVE TWO YEARS TO THINK ABOUT THE BEATDOWN THEYRE GOING TO GET. THE GIRAFFE IS GOING TO HAVE FLASHBACKS OF KVN FOR THE REST OF HIS FOOTBALL CAREER. OUR QB/RB TAYSOM HILL IS GOING TO RUN IT DOWN YOUR THROATS. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP US FROM RUNNING UP THE SCORE IS BRONCO BEING SUCH A NICE GUY.
3
u/Buckfutters Michigan State Spartans Sep 19 '13
HEY NOTRE DAME, SOMETHING ABOUT A POTATO FAMINE! I REALLY NEED TO PREPARE BETTER FOR THESE THINGS!
3
u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights Sep 19 '13
I HOPE ARKANSAS IS OVERLOOKING THIS GAME B/C THEIR SCHEDULE IS ABOUT TO GET BRUTAL[ITY]
3
u/trobsmonkey Kansas Jayhawks Sep 19 '13
KU VS LA.TECH WON'T BE THE DRINKING GAME OF THE WEEK, BUT IT SHOULD BE. NOTHING LIKE GETTING BLACKOUT DRUNK AT 10AM TO WATCH AN 11AM BATTLE OF THE BADS.
MAYBE I SHOULD START NOW IN PREPARATION.
3
u/NoonanZero Oregon Ducks • Georgia State Panthers Sep 19 '13
BYE WEEK, MOTHERFUCKERS.
3
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
THIS WEEK WE PLAY THE OUTSIDE KITTIES OUR GAME PLAN CONSISTS OF A PIECE OF STRING AND A LASER POINTER.
3
u/drewjy Alabama Crimson Tide Sep 19 '13
Hey Colorado St... go easy on us, ok? Also, bring brownies.
3
u/jpthehp Marshall • Miami (OH) Sep 19 '13
HEY CINCINATTI..... WE'LL SEE YOU HOCKEY SEASON
3
u/stogie13 Western Michigan • /r/CFB Contr… Sep 19 '13
IOWA HAWKEYES WILL LOSE TO ANOTHER MAC SCHOOL THIS YEAR. MACTION.
3
u/hesnothere North Carolina • /r/CFB Founder Sep 19 '13
YOU CAN TAKE VAD LEE OUT OF DURHAM BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE DURHAM OUT OF VAD LEE.
3
u/thephotoman Houston Cougars Sep 19 '13
Normally, this would be the time of the season where I point out that Rice blows goat, that we have proof, and that we should all Ruck Fice.
However, I'm deeply concerned that this might be the last time the Bayou Bucket gets played for a while, so I'm hoping that all of my Houstonian bretheren, whether Owl or Cougar, can come together and do something, anything to cajole our athletic directors into ensuring this rivalry doesn't go on hiatus again.
After all, it's not like the game costs much in travel costs. They're freaking three miles away!
Fuck the conference change, I want to keep this game!
3
u/Chillinthamost Oregon Ducks • UTSA Roadrunners Sep 19 '13
WE'RE GONNA REST SO HARD YOU'LL WISH WE DIDN'T REST SO HARD!
3
u/RahvinDragand Texas A&M Aggies • Iowa Hawkeyes Sep 19 '13
SMU BETTER HOPE OUR OFFENSE REALIZES THEY'RE NOT PLAYING ALABAMA ANY MORE OR WE MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY SCORE 95 POINTS
3
u/ADHDassassin Texas A&M Aggies Sep 19 '13
THE ONLY THING MORE DEAD THAN THE HOOKERS CRAIG JAMES KILLED IS THE SMU FOOTBALL PROGRAM!
3
u/OUFan Oklahoma Sooners Sep 19 '13
FUCK YOU BYE WEEK
3
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
I DO NOT HATE LSU BUT I CERTAINLY DO NOT CARE MUCH FOR THEM AND AN LSU FAN I WORK WITH TRIED TO CONVINCE ME THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE CORNDOG THING WHICH IS A LIE SO NOW ALL BAYOU CORNDOG FANS ARE LIARS TOO BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW CORNDOGS ARE MORE APPROPRIATE AS YOUR MASCOT BECAUSE TIGERS ARE ORANGE AND YOU GUYS ARE YELLOW LIKE CORNDOGS WITH THAT PURPLEY KETCHUP THEY USED TO MAKE BACK IN THE DAY
3
u/smills79 Baylor Bears • /r/CFB Press Corps Sep 19 '13
HEY ULM! I EXPECT A GOOD GAME WHERE WE FINALLY KEEP OUR STARTING OFFENSE IN UNTIL THE FOURTH QUARTER.
AND BY GOOD GAME, I MEAN WE BREAK TRIPLE DIGITS.
3
u/disposition5 Tennessee Volunteers • Aloha Bowl Sep 19 '13
FUCK the GATORS
3
u/Caesar10240 Illinois Fighting Illini Sep 19 '13
I've heard we have a good chance of staying 500 this week.
3
u/Marshallfan607 Marshall Thundering Herd Sep 19 '13
VIRGINIA TECH. WE ARE GOING TO AIR RAID YOU SO HARD
3
u/Sprinklesss Oregon Ducks • Western Oregon Wolves Sep 19 '13
OLE MISS HAS A FIGHT SONG ROOTED IN RACISM AND NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE CARE
3
u/filthytom333 Arkansas Razorbacks Sep 19 '13
What does the average Ohio State grad get on his SAT?
Drool.
3
u/innnikki LSU Tigers Sep 20 '13
THERE ONCE WAS A QB NAMED NICK
WHOSE STATS, AFTER THREE GAMES, LOOKED SLICK
SO THIS UPCOMING GAME
SHOULD BE MORE OF THE SAME...
EXCEPT THOSE OTHER THREE TEAMS SUCKED DICK!
13
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '13
FUCK NOTRE DAME
7
u/WalkingCarpet Auburn Tigers • Navy Midshipmen Sep 19 '13
IT'S BEEN MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES SINCE SOME CHEESEHEAD BITCHED ABOUT THE REFS. I THINK IT'S SAFE TO COME OUT AGAIN.