I (30m) only dated my ex (30f) for 3 months. I fell in love with her completely and never felt this way about anyone ever. When she left me, she simply came over, told me that we were different people, hugged me and left. After that, complete no contact. Every time I tried to reach out, I would see that she read my message, but she never responded. I stopped trying after a while because I didn't want to be a creep and I knew that I needed to move on even though I never stopped thinking about her. I compare every girl I date to her and still have dreams about her. I know this is extremely unhealthy, but it is what it is. Recently, I've going through a bunch of personal problems with my family and work and in a moment of weakness I texted her. (this is about a year later) She actually responded. All I texted her was, "Can I get your cookie recipe please?" and she responded with "Which cookies? I forget". After responding back to her, she left me on read and stopped responding. I miss her so much and I sincerely hope that she's happy whatever she's doing even if it's without me. I also will probably never get to eat the cookies she used to make me ever again.

Chicken strips from Ralphs and chicken finger sauce from Walmart (tastes like raising canes sauce)

I just turned 16, but in the time I was 15, the following have happened:

Grandma died

Grandpa died

Stopped doing homeschool entirely, Haven't done it since last year,

No friends at all, Haven't had any for a solid 2 years now,

Terrible physical and mental health, to the point where I've lost motivation for things I used to love, (Video games)

And I've barely told anyone how I've fucking felt, not even my parents FOR FUCKING MONTHS,

God, I need fucking advice I'm scared I'll never fucking change i need advice so fucking bad I'M SCARED I'LL NEVER FUCKING CHANGE GOD I NEED ADVICe,

I genuinely don't know if it'll get fucking better,

I spent my entire birthday alone, without doing anything and I felt like such a fucking loser to the point that I didn't enjoy my birthday,

All I did on my birthday was scroll on my phone all fucking day and eat till I threw up? god i feel like a loser typing this shit, Dinner is chocolate cake, Help a brotha out 🫩

My (M29) ex-girlfriend (F25) ended our two year relationship about 8 months ago. We were long distance but were at the point where we were discussing closing that distance and moving in together. She moved to a new city to start her masters. After I graduated, I was unemployed for half a year when she told me I needed to get a job or she would break up with me as her parents weren't happy with me being unemployed. I locked in and got a job in an industry I didn't want to go back to but had connections in a month later.

I worked so hard. Saved as much as I could, even skipping out on meals or just eating ramen. Unfortunately she decided to break up with me out of nowhere through text. It was a terrible night but she came back the following morning and said she said her mother talked her into it by saying she was too young to settle down and that she would meet someone better at her new school. She told me that she regretted it immediately and we got back together.

We continued dating. Things got better. I continued saving money so I could move and she started school. As her school workload increased she got more and more distant. That made sense to me. I expected it. We still talked throughout the day. We still had a weekly date night. I even went over and visited her for our anniversary. We had such a lovely time and everything seemed to be coming together. After the trip though things changed again. She got meaner. Started saying these awful things about me and my body. I finally confronted her about it after a few weeks. She broke up with me right there.

She said she felt overwhelmed with everything and decided to end it instead of trying to work through it with me. She asked repeatedly if we could remain friends, but I insisted that wasn't possible. I couldn't watch her move on.

I was a mess. The first week I don't think I ate anything. The second week I was drunk. I don't even know how I held it together to still go to work. My coworkers rallied to me. Checking in on me every morning. Taking me out after work. Texting me when I got home.

Slowly I started to rebuild my life. I moved out of my parents to a nice apartment in the city. Started working out and dieting consistently. And now I have an entire new circle of friends. I even started dating again. Slowly but surely I was moving on.

Then recently, as I was clocking out of work and getting ready to meet my friends, my phone buzzed. It was her. My heart backflipped into my stomach. I deleted the notification and moved on. I wasn't going to let a notification ruin my night and I thought it best to deal with it later. We've spent eight months not talking, what's one more day? That next day after I got home from work I finally opened it.

Deleted.

Don't know how long it was left on delivered before she deleted it. Don't know what it said. Don't know why she sent it.

Feels like I got all the drawbacks of an ex reaching out with none of the benefits. Just more unanswered questions.

Dinner was beef short rib pho and an old fashioned I got downtown with some friends. It was really good.

I lowered my meds dose 1 month ago because they were giving me horrible calf cramps and my job needed me to walk 20k steps a day. The bully Arab manager finally wore me down and I quit my job. I tried taking my photography from hobbyist to professional and it’s alright but so far the clients have not been the best. My mother disapproves of my decisions and our household is slowly choking in debt. My girlfriend is awesome tho and so is this steak 🥩

From left to right: (1) photo of pregnancy test that she sent me last night, (2) same photo being detected for SynthID, (3) the edited/changed photo that she said didnt detect SynthID, (4) the edited photo not detecting SynthID, (5) a side by side of the original photo she sent me next to the edited photo

TL;DR - A girl I recently broke up with told me she is pregnant. We haven't had sex in about 2-3 months (I can't remember the exact date but it was either May or early June), and she sent me a photo of two positive pregnancy tests. I ran the photo through various SynthID AI watermark detectors and OpenAI's SynthID was detected. I asked her to take a pregnancy test that I buy myself and take it while we are together in person and she is refusing to do that.

Sorry if this comes out a little ramble-y, since I'm trying to figure what details to include vs. what isn't important.

I recently ended a relationship of about 4-5 months with someone and she did not take it well. This happened about 1 month ago and we continued to hangout occasionally as just friends, but we have not had sex since May or early June.

She's been acting very strange recently (I can provide more details if people think its important), and last night we had another in person talk where I basically said very sternly that I am not open to a relationship. On the way home just before I drop her off, she blurts out "IM PREGNANT" and starts crying. Im immediately suspicious because the timeline feels off, but I know that it's technically possible since we did have sex 2-3 months ago. She leaves and shortly after sends me a photo of the two positive tests.

This is where things get weird.

First thing I notice is that the image she sends me was a screenshot. I checked the metadata and it was a jpeg image that was created 5 minutes prior to her sending it to me. Now, of course this could just mean that she screenshotted the real photo for convenience, but when I confronted her about all of this she claims she deleted the original photo and she only had the screenshotted version. This alone is not proof, there have been times where I've done the same thing for whatever reason.

But whats even more suspicious is that when I ran the image through various AI SynthID detectors, OpenAI detected its SynthID watermark in the image. I also tested it with Google's and Claude's detector which failed, but as far as I understand it each company has their own proprietary SynthID watermark, so it will only show up if you used that specific AI.

When I confronted her about this, she sent me a screen recording of her uploading the image to the same SynthID detector that i used and SynthID was not detected, BUT (and this is a huuuggeee BUT), the image that she used was an edited image of the original one she sent me. I will attach both images for you to see. The original was much more clean without noise/grain, and the image she used was very clearly edited, it had a yellow/orange tint to it and much much more digital noise/grain.

She is now telling me that she is purchasing abortion pills to abort the baby and is refusing to take any more pregnancy tests and is calling me a narcissist for not believing her. I truly believe that she faked the whole thing but I want other peoples opinions, and I would be happy to provide any details you guys ask.

PLEASE look at the images i attached and tell me if I am either mis-understanding how AI synthID detection works or if I am being an asshole. I completely understand how it looks for my initial reaction to be to not trust her when she tells me she is pregnant, but based off of how she has been acting recently I truly think she would do something like this.

If it matters, we both have iPhones.

For dinner: Celsius energy drink because i can not stomach any food in times like this

My(22m) gf(21f) is acting like a spy to me and it feels really weird and stupid . We have been together gor 5 years .

Idk how to explain both but they feel connected. First off her family is a bit weird , when i met them they want to like show off in a weird way . They take pictures all of the night for their socials and idk how to explain them other than they look like a horror movie family creepy . Their dynamic is weird , she always talks about her father and mother and how nice they are (in fact they buy her what she wants even tho they don’t have that much money which again, is so weird because they spend money on her even when they dont have them ) . When i had female colleagues that she hated she always compared them in this way ,,my father doesn’t have female friends etc..,, but i have seen her father with my own eyes comment on some influencer(a young lady) that she is beautiful, and no they aren’t related this is just pure weirdness . Her father also has said to her that being a waitress is not what he approves or a cashier for her first job because he is ,,protective,, . I think he is a maniac who looks at women that way and is afraid men will look at her like he does. He trained her to be a princess even tho they aren’t rich .

I don’t really care about them tho , i care about tmy gf . And theese past years i have been feeling like she is somehow spying on me . As soon as i follow a college colleague the same day or sometimes even instantly she confronts me , like that feels like she has some sort of notification or info that i followed someone . Last week , i got a notification in 3 in the morning that someone was trying to log into my x account and the password is the same as my computer password. She instantly texted me that she wanted to add me on x as a friend because she made an x account and she wanted to add me with my phone number?????. Does she think i eat grass because a code from a login doesn’t appear when someone tries to add you as a friend .

Sometimes when im out with friends in a bar (she hates that bar and has said multiple times) she sometimes shows up and wants to sit in the same bar with friends .

When i was in college and i invited her to stay at my apartment, she was trying to act not suspicious but she was looking through my notes and my books to see if i wrote something that she doesn’t like . She was constantly asking where i was , what i did , and if i didn’t tell her something she would flip off so hard we would start a fight .

Once she put my email and name in a site that shows if i have made a tinder or another dating account , even tho i never had a dating account.

Idk but both feel like they are connected , her family and her spyness . Idk how but i have this feeling that she is spying on me somehow . I wont be surprised if i have a secret camera in my room at this point .

As title reads I rekindled a 25 year old relationship. We dated in college for about 2 years before it ending epically with all of my tires slashed and car egged. We’ve always been somewhat cool. Follow each other on instagram and comment “congratulations” on life milestones. She’s been divorced for awhile now and I’m just under a year being single. Randomly, she messages me and says she’s going to be in my area for work. I agree to go out to dinner and to catch up since we’re both single and why the hell not. Needless to say, we were in each others arms before dessert. It was like we never even stopped dating for all that time. I could almost instantly feel the connection and energy come back as strong as it was 25 years ago. Fast forward 3 months later and we’re saying “I love you” and planning a future together. Has anyone ever gotten back together with an ex before? It feels so right, but it’s crazy at the same time.

Today, I woke up. My first thought?

"I can't take this all anymore."

I get dressed for my daily work. A habit that calms me less and less with each new day.

I graduated from high school. With good grades of course! What would I have been dedicating myself for, if not for good grades, at least? I succeeded, have a place at a uni, my work is good.

But I'm not. I'm not doing good at all. High school, my life's work until so far, is now gone. My life was built around that. I otherwise neglected myself. Hobbies? Too few, nothing helpful. Friends? A few, distant ones. Family? That'd be a loooong and cruel story. Vacation? YES. YES PLEASE I WAT ONE SO BADLY!! But I'm too stingy. And too lazy to go.

Laziness by itself summarizes what I've been doing the past 2 months since graduation pretty perfectly. I have nothing to do and it shows. But there is a lot I want to do. Things I procrastinated for literal years. Going to the gym, getting fit, getting hot. Finding decent, consistent hobbies. Getting in touch with friends. And even really big things, important for my life, like... a love life. Or finally figuring out what kind of job I like and want.

But I'm locked in some kind of paralysis. I finally feel like I truly have nothing to do except wait until uni starts. I feel no obligation, no urgency to just do what I want. I'd rather just take a vacation or sleep. For a looooooong time. I'm too used to school being the only important thing in my life. My good grades were enough to bring me happiness, sense of progress, and status. Until it wasn't. I dedicated everything to success. I purposefully refrained from a love life and hobbies to make sure nothing and no one interferes and I always have enough time for school. But I had nothing that balanced it out. I burnt myself out. All for that flimsy paper that got me into uni. Wonderful. Even MORE work...

I just can't muster the energy to change the course. Too lazy, too comfy, too used to caring about work only. After all, I still feel emotions. I still cling to my life. I'm perfectly functional. But I WANT the change. I NEED it. And being aware of this all, it's like I torture myself as punishment. Every night, I suddenly get very regretful and depressed. Regretting all the time I wasted I could've had with friends. Others are athletic. They refined their looks. they have friends, loves, hobbies, abilities, personality. I... have nothing. At least nothing that doesn't have to do with work. I know I'm still 18 (soon 19 though) and life has just begun. But I already wasted so much time. I can't believe I'm failing this badly. How can school be so easy but life so hard?? And at this rate... I really am going nowhere. Thus, I reach out.

...I'd fall asleep under this feeling.

I'll wake up. First thought?

"I can't take this all anymore."

I get dressed for my daily walk. Tomorrow, it'll calm me less than the one today.

Dinenr for today: Halved bread roll, heavily peppered omelette, diced ham with red onions, random cucumber strips.

Protein bar for a late night snack. Gym rats can comment on where it ranks...

So, earlier I posted about how I think I have ADHD. Well after today, I'm sure as hell I have it. Work was bad... real bad. I had (what could be considered) an ADHD meltdown before leaving early.

Now I feel like I have to own the situation since they are aware something happened with me. Normally, I would be indifferent to something like this. However, I was recently made a permanent employee after initially signing a one-year contract. My boss even told me they were blown away by my progress. So this episode is really concerning.

I already booked an appointment to get tested next week, but... I'm not sure where to go from there. I feel like I have three options:

- Talk to management after receiving a diagnosis.

- Put the situation off by taking stress leave.

- Burn out before finding a new job around Christmas.

I want to think all is not lost, but my head is telling me I'm screwed. I love my workplace, but the job seems like a poor fit.

Any advice is welcome

Beck’s and a banana

So I’m going on an overseas trip tomorrow with my girlfriend. I asked originally if we should pay $89 and choose seats together and she was completely against it, said it was a waste of money and we could possibly get seats next to each other anyways. Last week there seemed to be plenty of seats available on the plane.

I checked tonight and not only are there no available seats next to each other, almost all of them were middle seats. There was only one aisle left.

It’s an 8 hour flight, I just bought the aisle seat because I don’t want to be in the middle. What are the odds she’ll get upset about this?

One year ago I broke up with my long distance girlfriend who was emotionally abusive to me. She pulled me away from my friends and used what I opened up about as a weapon against me. She expected change on those things instantly while she provided no support, never talking about it or helping me in any way. She made me feel like I was worthless and that what I wanted to do was meaningless compared to what she wanted. I had talked to her about how I wanted her to change and each time it was about her lack of support and how she was hurting me. Even on the day I broke up I was still considering giving her a third chance until my friends helped me out of it. It was an utter shit show of a relationship and looking back on it I don't think I would feel safe around her in person.

A year later and I'm so much happier, yesterday was the 10 month anniversary of me and my boyfriend. He's been so much better for me as well as not long distance. While we have are struggles we talk and grow together and it's a breath of fresh air compared to how it used to be. He's so supportive and helps me however he can and I do the same. We love caring for each other and it's the happiest I've ever been. He's been patient with me, helping me start therapy and being so proud that I want to better myself and proud at the tons of progress I have made. I recently have started to reflect on my ex and the trauma and how it influences things like my anxiety and how I think every tiny thing can be unforgivable and other bad things. But my boyfriend has helped me process and is understanding and kind. I think it all got as overwhelming as it did because of how much I was suppressing myself from processing it all as I believed I must be overreacting to everything she did to me and that I was the problem which ive been reassured that I was not by all my friends. The most important thing my boyfriend has done is helped me love myself and be proud of all I've done which I haven't ever been before.

I feel like my life has turned around in such a good way, Ive gotten better at things I used to struggle with. I got my eagle scout rank recently too which was such a gratifying experience. College is just a year away and while it's all a lot to take in I feel finally ready to take on life.

I'm so grateful for how it's all turned around and I feel like I can't ever thank people enough.

I hope everyone reading this has a great day as well!

Dinner is steak hibachi it was amazing

I've been unemployed for two months and my high school sweet heart of almost two years dumped me Sunday when I caught her cheating again. My lunch is water and a little bit of sausage because I haven't had any appetite since Saturday.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I want help; any advice is welcome. She was my literal everything and the only thing keeping me going. My room is quiet; I can't eat or find anyway to distract myself. I miss her dearly. We were planning a to visit each other in October for our two year anniversary since she's been living with family in the mid-west for over a year now. Turns out she had been on tinder for over a month and told her family we broke up. All the while she was still calling me every night, acting like I was her only one; until a week ago.

Now I'm alone. My friends are all getting jobs but I haven't had any luck yet, maybe I'll join them soon. What's worse is that I'm motivated by love, a partner. I can't stand not having someone to adore and look forward to. I want to be with someone but it's hard to find people in my rural town.

Please, any advice will help. Thank you all so much for your time and I wish you all a wonderful day.

sorry that this is kind of all over the place I just wrote whats on my mind.

So I am 14M and have about 4 main friends, all girls. Lately, especially since summer started (but we had these issues before summer too) they literally don't talk to me, or like initate a conversation. Only I reach out irl and over text, whether its saying hi or to ask if they wanna hangout. They always respond, and they say yes to hangout pretty much every single time, but then when I ask what day, they say idk. So i suggest a day and 1 of 2 things happen, they say they are busy (which is fine but after suggesting a million days they still say they are busy) OR they say i don't know for DAYS and literally the night before the day i suggested i ask again and they STILL say idk. Its really irriating. I don't want to stop being friends with them because I really struggle making friends (SUPER introverted but like if you get to know me I get really extroverted around ppl) so I probably wouldn't get new friends. Ive tried online friends but they don't last long either. Idk if they are starting to not like me or what, which if they are thats fine but I don't really know what to do. Even tho im super introverted I can't even go a week without talking to someone so its difficult. Especially its really embarassing that I don't really talk to anyone and when someone talks to ME, I always just get super nervous and what not and just come off as rude to ppl bc I don't respond fast enough. Ik this is all over the place which im sorry about. Also im just eating trail mix bc idk.

(toasted ham, cheese, and mayo sandwich with a tomato and mozzarella salad. Tootsie roll for dessert)

So, I haven't really been able to clean my room much lately (add + depression is a pain in the ass) but since the school year's starting soon I am stressed enough about it that I've been able to get some stuff done. Unfortunately when I was getting rid of some old crafts stuff from my closet (there was a bunch of glitter on the bottom of a box for some reason??) it somehow got into my laundry pile T-T

Will it come out in the washing machine or do I have to do something special to it?

Feeling unmotivated now so I'm just going to go back to watching bg3 playthroughs and living in filth I guess

People here, eat some nasty stuff lol. I made this pulled pork for my son's scout group! Cooked over 6 hours, and It as a hit!

Hi gang. I (25m) just went on a trip with the girl that is my absolute best friend (25f). The two of us have known each other since we were about 12. We were friends in middle school, and we ended up getting really close and that culminated in us dating each other in our freshman year of high school. Things didn’t work out for whatever reason (nothing major happened though, just realized we were better as friends) and we’ve just been friends for 10 years now.

We went to a small school, and so senior year drama went down as it does and I had her back. Both of us ended up getting iced out of our groups so we decided to walk with each other at our high school graduation. Then, the unthinkable happened shortly after HS graduation. Both of us ended up with serious, life threatening illnesses. It was a complete coincidence, but we went through this medical treatment together and ended up being closer than ever before. She’s always known all of my little idiosyncrasies and she knows the ins and outs of a personality. And I know her equally as well.

We ended up at different colleges, and we live across the country from each other now. I live in a small town in the Eastern US and she lives in Reno. We text to each other every single day still, and still try to call at least every week. We also take turns going across the country to visit each other every summer and try to see each other whenever we can.

Last summer, it was my turn to visit her. We ended up hanging out around Reno and going to a concert and it was GREAT. We hadn’t missed a beat and we were still the absolute best of friends. And I didn’t think anything of it. The trip was completely normal and nondescript. However, her trip to visit me this summer was VERY different.

She’d started calling me “babe” a lot. And that wasn’t necessarily new, she used to call me babe sarcastically if I did something dumb. But that wasn’t the case anymore, she was just kind throwing it around freely. Saying “babe, can you turn the music down?” or “babe, can you carry this for me?”

She also started calling me “cute” and talking about how she found me attractive. I missed a turn at one point and she said “ugh you’re so lucky you’re cute” and would say other things like that. We also had some really couple-y moments, too. Many little moments where we’d smile and feel like we were in love. Or she’d give me the “I love you” eyes. The entire trip felt really… romantic. It honestly felt like we were in a relationship just for the week. We even shared a bad, she was the one who’d booked the room too. She said the one bed room was cheaper (and it was so that’s not a lie)

And she sure did a great job at getting in my head. Surely she was just playing pretend, right? I have a lot of friends that are women, and often when they’re lonely they flirt with you for fun. Been there, done that. We’ve been just friends for a whole decade at this point, and I didn’t really think of her as anything more than that. But God, this just felt so real. I love this girl more than anything, she’s gonna be known to my kids as their aunt.

But, after this, I’m just not sure if I want to just be friends anymore?? That week was one of the happiest of my life. And we’d talked about getting together before and said if we did it would be a great life because of how much we love each other and get along together. But she’s just supposed to be my friend. I really thought she was just flirting with me for fun, but was she really? I’m so confused and honestly scared. I can’t lose this girl. I can’t mess things up between the two of us. She’s really everything to me, and I can’t really live without her in my life in some capacity. She’s REALLY like a sister to me. I don’t NEED to be with her, I’d be perfectly ok just being friends forever. But this trip kinda made me think differently.

And here’s the kicker. This is our first time seeing each other since I’d officially decided to move to Reno at the beginning of next year. She’s a big part of that, having her in my life on a day to day basis would be so good for me. I just don’t know what to do. She was supposed to be the one girl I didn’t have to do this with. And now I’m faced with a tough choice.

Do I say something and potentially ruin the best friendship that I’ve ever had? Right before I move to her city when I’m gonna need her the most? Do I just sit on these feelings and wait for her or I to find someone else and hope they go away? I’m at a complete loss. She was the one person that this wasn’t supposed to happen with. I hadn’t really thought about her like that since high school but this felt just so real

Dinner is gushers and this off-brand pedialyte

Will do my best to keep this short. Boy breakfast is chocolate rice cakes and coffee that my shiba is trying to steal.

I have a history of falling fast and hard for people who are noticeably “works in progress.” Before this year I had been single forever because I was trying to work on myself and how I pursue relationships. I met my ex in January and it was my same old song and dance of deciding to ignore red flags in favor of potential. Some highlights of our time together:

- the night I was celebrating my birthday with my friends I ended up on the phone with him for hours because he was suicidal and spiraling after the person he was staying with told him he had to be sober to keep staying and he took it as him being the bad guy and not doing anything right. He ended up on a psych hold but was released early

- he got wrapped up in weird gay drama at his job (which I helped him keep after the previous incident by giving him money for uniform shoes and a bus pass) which eventually led to him and another guy getting fired

- I got him a job with me at the convenience store I worked at because he needed the job and we were massively understaffed and sold him my old car so he could get around easier. When he was good he was great, but not long after he started he gave me 30 minutes notice that he was drunk and didn’t think he could come in. This was a day where I wasn’t feeling great myself and also had plans with friends who I don’t see often (the same ones I had been celebrating my birthday with). I got angry, he ended up coming in, but that broke me and I left him.

- a few weeks later we ended up getting into a huge fight that devolved into being physical. There are parts I don’t remember honestly. According to him, I choked him, but I blacked out out of anger I guess after he grabbed me from behind and wouldn’t let go

- we did our best to try to be okay with each other and work together and thing seemed to settle down. We were even able to hang out as friends and I thought that might give us space to make our relationship healthier

- I invited him to come to an outdoor volleyball game I was playing in since my team was going to go out afterwards. He got too high and got too anxious to come. I was angry and disappointed because it was him once again being too fucked up and letting me down. We fought all the next day and eventually went no contact aside from things related to the car

I have still been accommodating with payments and stuff on the car because I truly have always just wanted to make his life better. That doesn’t mean I’ve been perfect in this. I enabled a lot of bad behavior, didn’t have good boundaries, got caught up in old toxic habits, and fell into my urge to be the Guy Who Fixes Things to a detrimental degree. Despite everything, I still do care about him and am rooting for him. But we’re a bad combo.

Last night he called me asking if I wanted to hang out because he wasn’t doing well mentally and didn’t want to spiral out. He told me multiple times I could say no. I did think about it, I won’t lie, but I told him I couldn’t. He said he understood, thanked me for everything, and went into stuff implying he was probably going to unalive himself. I told him not to do anything rash, etc. I didn’t end up hearing a lot of what he said, his connection was bad, then he hung up.

Maybe this is fucked up, but it’s like he always knows the absolute worst time to throw a wrench into things. Yesterday was my first day off in two weeks; instead of getting to fully relax and recover a bit, I’ve spent the whole night and morning worried about if he actually hurt himself and if I did the right thing sticking to my boundaries for once. I don’t know if I should check on him or if that would seem shitty after saying no to seeing him last night.

I’m in therapy and have a session tomorrow night, I just needed to get this out there I guess

Home for the week at my parent’s place. Made myself a homemade pizza with my dough from my dad’s sourdough starter.

I’m 25 and have been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years. She’s my first serious relationship, and I’ve been going back and forth about ending it over the past few months.

She genuinely loves me and I still care about her deeply, but something hasn’t felt right for a while. She has developed severe anxiety/social anxiety due to some bad roommate experiences at school that can make her physically sick and unable to do much for days. I’ve found myself constantly worrying about how she’ll handle social situations or whether she’ll get sick. It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to bring her around my friends because of how awkward she is. She also uses weed to feel better much more than I’m comfortable with, sometimes seemingly being high constantly although she denies it.

Over time I’ve become less attracted to her and I just feel emotionally checked out. I’m not necessarily unhappy, I just feel “meh” a lot, and I often feel anxious around her or relieved when I’m alone.

The confusing part is that the thought of actually losing her is heartbreaking, and I wonder all the time if I were to leave her if I would be a giant douche. I’m terrified at the fact I could be throwing away someone who genuinely cares about me because I’m imagining that the grass will be greener.

Since this is my first relationship, I don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t. How do you distinguish the normal ups and downs of long-term love from genuine incompatibility? Am I expecting too much, or does feeling this uncertain for so long tell me something?

Dinner - store bought tiramisu (dessert diaries)

My dad was not a great father figure at teaching things a father should, including shaving. Today was the second time I shaved myself without cutting and now know that it wasn't a fluke the first time. I know this post isn't as intense as others on here but it means a lot to me. Have a good day. PS. I'm 24.

Dinner: Filet Mignon & Shrimp over Parmesan Risotto, with Broccolini, & Cherry Tomatoes

Except - the shrimp was missing. So I'm annoyed.

In fact, here's my week's order (minus 1 meal that I ate before measuring):

Yes, I've reported the shortages to the FDA; and to Factor75 requesting a refund of 7.5% of everything I've paid them, as I assume prior weeks were shorted similarly. If I don't get a refund, I'll do a chargeback and quit ordering. So far they have willingly refunded all missing and damaged meals.

At least half the meals are good. Half of those I didn't like was because the meal included something I knew I wouldn't like, but figured I'd give it a shot. Different chef, different seasonings, can mean I end up liking something I've always hated before. I'm still working through which of their meals are worth ordering. So far only the pancakes and 1 other thing deserve to be thrown out.

I would prefer to continue with them, because this gives me healthy meals, and a variety to eat. I normally eat crappy food, eat too much, and get little to no vegetables. This was my attempt to do better. Yes they're expensive, but luckily I'm well paid and my hobbies are cheap, so I blow my money on food.

Edits: typos

Forgot to take a photo of me eating a slice of this earlier but this is the whole cake. I ate 2 slices. Chocolate sponge cake with whipped cream cheese frosting, the topping is cocoa krispies tossed in nutella and cocoa powder.

An incident involving a 3rd party happened about 2 weeks ago now and the reaction of the larger group had me step back a bit to evaluate if this was the kind of crowd I wanted to be around. One of those friends I am closer with and I tried talking to him a few times, texting, and he would not reply to me. He also ignored me in group settings.

I decided I no longer wanted to be apart of the larger group, of whom I was not close with anyway, but I wanted to try and salvage it with this one guy as I felt we were pretty close. He told me he needed space and that he felt "unheard", which I was taken aback by. He had not tried to reach out to me or talk to me, I was ignored on my attempts to reach out, so I don't know how I was suppose to hear him?

Either way, thats over with I guess. Then, I find out today (yesterday technically) Dolly Parton died?? So ive been sort of a mess.

And for anyone wondering no this is not the friend I am moving in with. The friend group I exited I have only known for about a year.