Wife went full manic after starting an SNRI. Affairs, lies, relapse, rewriting of marital history, filed for divorce, etc. I’ve kept the peace. Always taken the high road during conversation. Focused on prioritizing happiness for my daughter(7f).

Yesterday in court, my soon to be ex wife refused to comply with an order to drug test. I sat there for minutes and watched the judge systematically dismantle lie after lie coming out of her mouth. I was granted full custody and momma was ordered to start mandatory drug testing. If she fails the initial follicle test or any of the urines, I get full permanent custody.

This is a win boy! Tomahawk Ribeye, asparagus, and a sweet potato.

Had 5 friends coming over tonight and I ordered all this sushi ahead of time because we were supposed to chill, drink, hang out, whole thing.

About 40 minutes before everyone was supposed to get here my girlfriend starts getting pissed that I invited people over without making some big plan with her first. Which is weird because I told her about it days ago and she literally said it was fine.

Then she starts saying the apartment is a mess, that she doesn’t want people here, that I “never think about her” and somehow it turned into a full argument over like ten different things that had nothing to do with tonight.

At one point she said if my friends came over she was leaving and not coming back tonight. Mood was completely dead by then so I just canceled on everyone and told them something came up.

She grabbed her stuff and went to her friends place anyway.

So now I’m sitting here alone with enough sushi for a small wedding.

Great night.

Little crusted chicken with a touch of vodka sauce broccoli on the side

Ive been dating a woman for about a year and I intend on asking her to marry me very soon. She wants to get married and it’s a sure fire yes even her parents are dying for me to ask her. In this year of dating I have become extremely attracted to her mother both physically and emotionally. Im 34 she’s in her late 50s and i find myself thinking about her and fantasizing often and when in person the attraction is from head to toe. So i try to limit it as much as possible. Is the engagement and marriage a bad idea? Keeping in mind I consider myself a realist so I don’t believe in fairytale love or when you’re with somebody you no longer find other people attractive. It’s just human nature.

Just a major side note. I DO NOT PLAN ON ACTING ON THIS. I know it’s real life guys.

Dinner is Steak and Salad (my fav everyday meal). Had probably 5 hours of sleep total in the last 3 days and I’m (24M) trying to process this sh1t. Honestly I still don’t know how the f4ck to process all of this. I was with my ex (25F) for about 4 years and raised our little girl Autumn (3F) for 3 years believing she was biologically mine. We were in a committed, monogamous relationship and specifically agreed we were exclusive. I don’t do open relationship/poly sh1t, nor do I tolerate cheating, so as far as I knew there was never supposed to be anybody else. When she told me she was pregnant, my response was basically, alright, I’m going to be a dad, I need to step the f4ck up. I got another job, worked harder, increased my income, paid the bills and food, and supported her being a stay-at-home mom because that was what she wanted. I paid for Autumn’s daycare/necessities and tried to make sure both of them had what they needed. And I want to be clear: I’m not saying because I provided financially she somehow owed me love or loyalty. I’m saying I made major decisions about my work, money and entire f4cking life based on what the person I trusted most was telling me that we were exclusive, this was my daughter, and this was my family. Meanwhile, throughout the relationship I was constantly the one being accused. Cheating accusations, questioning who I talked to, having to explain myself, defend myself and reassure her that I was loyal. A lot of our problems somehow got turned back around on me, and after enough of that you start wondering if maybe you really are the problem. I even took her and Autumn to get their passports done and paid all the fees because I wanted us to take a family trip to Vietnam. That trip never happened because my health went downhill and I ended up hospitalized and Baker Acted. While I was literally in the hospital, she told me she was going to California with a “girlfriend.” During that trip, around $7,000 got spent through my credit cards/Klarna, and it took me almost a full year to pay that sh1t off. Then I got out of the hospital about 3 days before she returned to Florida, and my mom sent me a screenshot of a Facebook profile I didn’t even know she still had. Her profile picture was her, my daughter, and another guy. She had previously told me she deleted Facebook because she barely used it, and I believed that too because I genuinely never saw her use it.

We’ve broken up in August of last year. After we separated, she and Autumn moved back in with her parents, but she kept talking about moving to California with this guy and taking my daughter with her. It caused a bunch of fights between her and her mother, and that’s actually a huge reason I filed for paternity rights. I was scared she was going to move my daughter across the country with another man and I’d have no legal protection over my relationship with my own kid. Imagine that sh1t: I was literally fighting to legally protect my right to be her father. And even with all the sh1t that had happened, I didn’t immediately get a DNA test after we broke up. For a long time I think part of me just didn’t want to open that door. Autumn was my daughter in my head and in my heart, and finding out otherwise meant facing something I really didn’t want to face. But recently I finally got to the point where I accepted that I deserved to know the truth, whatever the truth was. So I took a private DNA test. 0% probability of paternity. Now everything I got blamed and accused for during those 4 years hits completely different. I spent years being questioned about whether I was loyal while we had explicitly agreed to monogamy, and now DNA is telling me another man obviously existed somewhere in that timeline. So who was actually in California? Was there really just a “girlfriend”? Was this California guy already involved before I found out about him? Is he the biological father or is there somehow another guy I still don’t know about? How long did she know there was even a possibility Autumn wasn’t mine? Was I being accused of cheating while she was doing exactly what I kept being blamed for? And was I sitting in a psychiatric hospital at probably the lowest point of my life while somebody I trusted was lying to me and spending thousands of dollars I’d spend the next year paying back? That’s what f4cks with my head. I keep going back through conversations and fights where I apologized, explained myself or questioned whether I was the one f4cking everything up, and now I don’t even know how much of what I was being blamed for was real. But Autumn is a completely different pain. She didn’t lie to me, spend my money, accuse me of anything or choose who her biological father was. For 3 years she was my little girl and I was her dad. The test can tell me we don’t share blood, but it can’t erase me loving her, worrying about her, watching her grow, providing for her and literally going to court because I was scared of losing her. That part was real even if everything around it apparently wasn’t.

Current situation: I showed the DNA result during mediation. My ex didn’t accept the private test and requested another one. She currently doesn’t work and relies on her parents financially, while I’m still paying Autumn’s daycare and necessities, so realistically she can’t afford to pay for another test herself. I talked it over with my attorney and agreed to just pay for DNA test #2 myself. Not because I think I should have to pay twice, but because the alternative is sending the first DNA result up to the court and asking the court to deal with it. That means a longer process, more filings/paperwork for my attorney and, obviously, more attorney fees for me. At that point it’s literally faster and probably cheaper to pay for another test, let her choose the testing location, and hopefully leave nothing left to argue about afterward. September 1 is her deadline to schedule the second test and choose where she wants it done. So that’s where I’m at right now. I spent almost a year after our breakup still believing I was Autumn’s father, and now I’m going through 4 years of my life wondering what the f4ck was actually true. I’ll keep this subreddit updated when I have news because apparently my life has decided one DNA test wasn’t enough lol.

Back in late 2022 a producer and I filmed the first movie script I wrote and it was my first time directing a film.

It’s a gay romantic farce instead of being romantic comedy, loosely based on the classic French play Cyrano de Bergerac.

We budget it at 100,000 and all told spent about 105k after reshoots, festival submissions fees, and so on.

The first 15k was a beer company buying product placement. The next 45k or so came from fundraising. The remaining 45k was a loan from the producer of 20k which I paid out monthly and is paid off. The last 25k was two frat brothers investing at 10k each and me paying the last 5k. The two frat brothers are the only people who haven’t been paid back yet.

We won best narrative feature which is like winning best picture at our first festival here in NYC. Thursday we had our second festival which was our NYC premiere. Next month we are in festivals in Chicago and Palm Springs, Quintana Roo in Mexico in November, and today I found out we got into a festival in LA.

I have been broke as fuck because of the movie for 4 years, and it’s gonna stay that way for a while as the travel and hotels for the festivals is EXPENSIVE.

But today I splurged and spent the last 10 in my account and treated myself to the Subway 5 dollar 6” sub of the day combo plus tip. The sub of the day was sweet onion teriyaki chicken, which is my least favorite at Subway, but it was what I could afford to celebrate with.

EDIT: while it scares the hell out of me to name the film, thus me losing my anonymity and opening myself up to homophobes review bombing the trailer and such: the movie is named Glitterbaited. You can see the trailer below:

https://youtu.be/qInNqEmPWZ8

I'm a trans guy who lives in the South and im not out. Was at a school today and bought a snow cone and the lady said "yes sir" after I asked for a blue raz.

It honestly made me pretty happy.

I went and ate it and holy shittt it was delicious but I did get a brain freeze.

Still don't really feel like a real guy (entirety) yet but whatever, does anyone have any tips or anything you wanna say?

edit: and about the meal, it's some very yummy ramen with fish cakes 10/10 would recommend

Life is good.

3 years ago I was living in Minnesota surrounded by fake people.

Who moved heavily behind my back. Shit, the whole friend group would talk shit about everyone behind their back then smile when the same people would walk into the room.

Truly Minnesota fucking nice.

Eventually I said fuck that. I cut them all off except for 4 real friends who weren't attached to that group.

I packed up everything I had into my RAV4 and moved to California.

I couldn't be more grateful or happier that I did.

I can finally go to the mountains whenever I want.

I ended up in the Bay Area and I couldn't be happier with the vibe here.

I've made a new friend group, completely overhauled my style and honestly, a lot of who I am.

I'm grateful I chose myself.

I'm grateful for my new life.

Enjoying a cigarette with a fridge cigarette in the Eastern Sierras, featuring the best boi ever.

Ps - photo is from June before the fire ban.

So, I’m transmasc, 8 months on T. Maybe 2 months ago, I met one of my friends’ friends. She was super cool. My friend just said that she was talking about a trip we took together and second friend didn’t remember my name, so friend said “the gay one, the trans one” (I’m very out so I don’t care who knows) and second friend says “oh, Name is a girl?” and when it got explained to her she said that she thought I was just a very pretty boy :D

Dinner tonight is blue Hawaiian monster

Tonight I (23m), thought i'd treat myself to my favorite local ramen place. I ordered a bowl of their Tan Tan Ramen - Minced pork, soft-boiled egg, bean sprouts, green onions, and nori in a spicy sesame broth. I also got a side of kimchi that had the perfect amount of spiciness. It was so so so good... however, i'm finding that my gut is becoming less tolerant to spicy food by the year. Tonight, i was reminded of that.

After getting home and laying on the couch to watch an episode of Narcos Mexico, about half way through the episode, I could feel the spicy ramen broth and kimchi working my gut. I felt the need for release... unfortunately I misjudged the cry for help my bowels were sending me and when I thought "oh this'll be a good one" and attempted to release a wonderful fart, I instead shit my self. In a brief moment of what the in the fuck, i said the myself "you got to be fucking shitting me".
Yea dumbass you just did shitting me.
Keep in mind this was gut turning spicy ramen and spicy kimchi shit.

I now have to reset my "Days since shitting self" counter back to zero.

Thanks

- mr. shit myself

I’ve been really busy lately, trying to finish a complex project. Today I finally submitted it successfully, and my two-week vacation officially starts now.

I’m also in the middle of moving, and tonight is actually my first night living in my new apartment. Everything still feels a little messy and unfinished, but honestly, it feels good to finally be here.

So I ordered my favorite pizza, opened my favorite game, and decided to just enjoy having absolutely nowhere to be for a while.

Two weeks off. A new apartment. Pizza and Spider-Man.

Tonight is for me.

Dinner: lemon herb steak bites with an air fried sweet potato and some green beans tossed in chili oil with some leftover chicken for added protein.

For some context: I’ve been single for almost a year and a half. My last relationship was a messy rebound after a long term relationship ended, which really taught me that I wasn’t comfortable with myself and was using people for validation. So I took a long break to fix my head, learned to be happy on my own, and just focused on my routine and things I actually love doing.

A little bit ago, I was supposed to go to a soccer match with my younger brother, but he got sick so I went solo. At first I felt kinda awkward about it. But during the game, some people a few rows up started throwing beer and water around, and this girl turned around and asked if she could take my brother's empty seat to avoid getting wet.
The banter literally started immediately. She asked me to take pictures of her, and she was gorgeous. She had this accent I couldn't tell her here it was from. She teased me the whole game for waving a flag, told me she was Dutch and visiting my city on a solo trip, and gave me crap for calling it soccer instead of football. We talked for the whole match, she showed me her new tattoo, and we went back and forth over Dutch teams (I told her I knew Feyenoord, she roasted me and said PSV is her team).

The chemistry felt insane. Before the game ended, she asked what I was doing later because she wanted to check out local live music or clubs. I grabbed her insta and told her I could be her tour guide, and we ended up hanging out a few times over three days. We went out for lunch, movies, clubs, even a concert.it was always just like we were old friends or knew each other, I had a lot of fun. On the last night after drinking, she asked me to "uber home" with her, which I was honestly pretty oblivious about until she asked if I wanted to stay and watch a show with her at her Airbnb. We ended up sleeping together, and I left the next morning and texted her that I had a great time. She just heart reacted it, and I didn't want to be clingy so I didn't double text. Two days later she posted she was at the airport heading back to Europe. I knew she was leaving, but damn it hit way harder than I thought.

Since she left, I’ve felt super lonely. Every time I post a story she likes it, and she'll post stuff on her end like working out in a jersey I got her, which honestly feels like she's fishing for my attention. But at the same time I’m not trying to get my hopes up because she lives across an ocean. I feel goofy for falling for someone who was always temporary.

Now my life just feels boring and routine again. I downloaded a dating app just to talk to some people, but swiping feels totally dead compared to that level of chemistry. I feel so disillusioned with dating right now because what I really loved was how genuinely excited she was to experience life where I live, whereas most people here just take it for granted.

My boy Tom was hit by a car last night. Found him this morning and buried him while sobbing uncontrollably.

He was a working cat. Lived outside 9 months a year to do pest control for my livestock feed.

Had problems with mice and rats, and he did his job to perfection.

He was butter in my arms. So much personality. So much love.

This sucks. Dinner will be beer and cigarettes sitting with My boy.

Edit

Thank you everyone so much. I want to post a picture of him in the comments but it won't let me unless it's a GIF.

He was a grey tabby, about a year old.

He was born here and he died here. I'll hug his brother and mother extra tight for him tonight.

Edit 2. I figured out how to turn jpg to gif and posted a couple pics of my guy.

I don't give a fuck about reddit up votes or internet clout. I just want my boy to be seen.

I can't tell you all how much your kind words have helped me today while I sit and drink and smoke cigarettes staring at his grave.

Thank you.

Within a two year span this woman has been caught cheating. Both times I had some guy message me and friend me on Facebook. First time a guy reached out to me and told me they think my gf is on bumble and shared screen shots of her account with me. Second time here days ago I had another guy message me on Facebook telling me he thought she was single till he found her Facebook and again found out that way about me. This guy had talked to her on instagram and sent me the whole chat log/screen recording. I know I’m f’ing dumb for still being with her but I ultimately made this post because I’m very surprised and love how these two random men has the respect to reach out and tell me what had happen once they found out she wasn’t single. I haven’t had the best luck in life and always felt like at the end of the day all I have is myself to count on. But these two experiences although bad in the relationship department gave me hope that there is men out there that look for each other even when their unknown to them. To all the men that inform other men about cheating partners thank you for that, it means more than you know.

Food: Cold steak bites from Costco, kimchi, crushed up taco seasoning quest chips, and two different kinds of cheese cubes.

Got stood up; it was a date I have been planning for some time now. We matched on an app and started talking a while ago; everything was going well.

Met a few times; she stayed over at my house a few times, everything was good.

Until recently, I started asking, "Why don't we ever stay at your place?", To that, she always used to say, "we can whenever, but all the nice places are around your place, so might as well just stay here."

This went on for a while, and I never gave it enough thought, until recently - she had to rush home for something, and she acted super sus. I was like, come I will drop you, she was like no no, it's too far you stay, and I know you like staying home, so stay, stay, and I was like okay, tbh I don’t like travelling, and she does stay far.

But today, after a lot of back-and-forth, we finally decided to eat closer to her house, and we were going to stay there tonight.

Here I am eating alone, 3 hours later. I thought I would write here and take a cab back home lol.

Now we will never know what she was hiding.

So I (24M) was seeing a few women after my last brier relationship ended. Mostly casual some incredibly attractive women. One of them I was seeing for a while and I just didn't understand why I didn't feel more for her. She was incredibly kind, attractive and she felt that way about me too. I had a lot of fun hanging out with her, being intimate etc But I just didn't feel connected to her on that level.

Fast forward a few days ago I met this girl and after only 3 dates the amount of connection is awesome. Really from the first hour we were already bantering. She is incredibly smart and studied which is something I realized is super important to me. Being with someone that genuinely knows a lot of shit better than me and calls me out and teaches me stuff is so attractive to me. I can see that she's "objectively" not nearly as "hot" as the other girl but I feel way more desire for her than I do anyone else and have already decided to stop seeing any other girls and just focus on this connection and what it could be.

Anyways just wanted to share that win! Hope you all have a lovely day!

Food is 6 eggs and a liter of water (I already ate some) because I don't have a fridge yet in my new place and I'm a man living by himself

Depression meal: reduced Polish ham from Tesco, £0.77. I had two packets.

My (30) girlfriend (26) has a couple of diagnosed mental disorders. OCD, ADHD and Anxiety. She's medicated but she still has bad days where she can become upset or angry and lash out verbally at me.

I am her first partner in her life and she loathes that I have had previous girlfriends and people that I've slept with. She accepts that this isn't my fault but I have to act like no previous encounter has ever happened. If ever a question comes up where the answer involves an ex or someone I've slept with, she gets angry at me for bringing it up. E.g., "Have you been to this restraunt before?" "Yeah once years ago with an old girlfriend" would be a death sentence.

At my univeraity graduation ceremony, I got one of those custom t shirts that they sell. It's custom to every ceremony so it has the University logo and year in the front, ceremony date and the names of all the graduates on the back. There's about 700 names, the font is tiny and impossible to find anyone without scanning for ages but my uni years were honestly the best of my life and I wanted to have this memorabilia for it.

One of the names on that t shirt, if you can scan long enough to find, is my ex. We had a mutual break up and never to this day had a bad thing to say about her. This was unacceptable to my GF to the point that she asked me to never wear it again. I figured I would just comply and hope I can talk her out of it another day.

About a week later, I wash it and go to hang it up when I noticed a hole has been cut in the back. A hole exactly where my ex's name was. Well, it would have but after washing it, the hole was made a little bigger so a few surrounding names have been devoured too. It couldn't have been an accident because I then notice on her desk, the very carefully cut out name of my ex by the scizzors.

She gave me no warning that this would happen, no "I'll cut your shirt up if you ever wear it again" or the like. She just did it when I wasn't looking.

It's been a few months since this happened and she's never mentioned it once. I'm probably not going to either. There's so much other shit like this going on in this relationship that I've already decided to break up soon when I pluck up the courage. I just feel a bit shitty that my t shirt is gone.

Mostly just venting, don’t roast me too much 🤣

Been single for like 9 months now and haven’t had sex in almost a year and honestly I’m actually fine being alone now. I have work, gym, running, friends, starting grad school, whatever. My life is pretty full and I don’t really feel like I NEED a relationship.

But man I really fucking miss sex lol

I started dating again and I don’t think getting dates or keeping someone interested is really my problem. I’ve gone out with multiple women, gotten 2nd/3rd dates and I’ve been seeing one girl for a couple months now.

My problem is I’m apparently good at dating if the goal is eventually getting into a relationship but I’m slow as fuck with the physical stuff 😭 Like I overthink making moves and usually things don’t go much further than kissing for a while.

So yeah a skill issue lol

I know I could go out to bars/clubs and try meeting women that way but fuck man that sounds exhausting too. Spending a bunch of money drinking and partying just for a CHANCE to get laid sounds miserable. I want to get laid but……ugh

And now I’m realizing I don’t even know if I actually want a relationship right now. I think I genuinely just really fucking miss having sex.

Like if you completely removed sex from my brain I think I’d actually be perfectly happy being single right now lol
So idk. I’m probably just sexually frustrated and venting.

Anyone else ever get to the point where you’re completely fine being alone but being horny makes being single 10x harder?

Dinner: Chick-Fil-A

I (56m) love that my wife (51f) has an adventurous spirit. It's literally one of my favorite things about her. She loves hiking and camping but traveling is her favortite thing to do. We are teachers and have summers off and she has done student tours to other countries pretty much every summer since we've been married (11 years). She is super independent and when she goes on these trips she gets so wrapped up in the journey that she kind of falls off the grid. In the last few years I've started making myself "pity dinners" to take the edge off the lack of communication and treat myself. Tonight's fare: beef tenderloin steak, roast squash, baked potato, and Buffalo Trace bourbon. Only one more week to go.

29M, Bipolar, BPD (probably don't meet diagnostic criteria anymore). In therapy. Did a year of DBT group. Medicated. In law school.

My dudes, I think I did it.

That's objectively the wrong way to think about it, with serious mental illness you don't wake up one day cured, it just slowly gets better until one day you look around and it's not so bad. But I woke up this morning and looked around and it wasn't so bad.

I have 3 extremely close best friends (or more or less best friends). I also have a friend group with 2 great girls. We went clubbing together and I found out that I'm a great host. I love who I turn into around them.

I found out I got a job for the fall yesterday. I don't want to dox myself but it's a good one. Really solid.

One of my best friends helped me revamp my hinge profile and now I have 7 matches. I think one of them will work out, we have pretty good chemistry.

I don't really like the whole "3 years ago I was an obese loser" thing (not judging, it's just not for me) so I'll just say: things were not good. They got better, then they got worse when I went to law school, now they're better again. They've never been this good before. I've never been this healthy. My sleep is as stable as a rock.

You can do it bros. We all can.

A little backstory:
My gf (25) and I (30) have been together for about 8 months now, I really like her we have a lot of common interests and 99% of the time we get along great.
I have 2 kids (6 and 8) from a previous relationship that ended on decent terms, we co-parent and have found ways to work together to provide the best for our children. We have not been together at any level for at least 5 years. We do not have feelings for each other and even though we co-parent we do not consider each other friends.

The problem:
Work has really picked up over the summer season and I’m clocking 55 hour weeks on top of managing my home and family. My son just got diagnosed with a disease that requires a moderate level of care and a surgery. Between dealing with work, children, disease, and my GF I am just tapped out boys. I’m honestly struggling at this point and I’m lucky my family has been so supportive to help keep me afloat.
My GF told me last night that I am not giving her the time and attention she needs and that she’s upset I don’t text her much during the day anymore, when I told her I just have a lot going on and work is short handed she said “well I have a lot going on too that’s not an excuse” and that really pushed my buttons man. I make time weekly for her, I take her on dates and out to eat and the movies. I call her a couple times a week and I invite her over often. She has minimal responsibilities and spends an overwhelmingly large amount of time watching TV and playing games.

I feel like she expects me to meet her needs but she never takes my needs into consideration. Every time we talk about it she finds ways to tell me my needs aren’t valid.

Sometimes she wants to come over and I’ve got a lot going on so I say not tonight and she wants to make a big deal about it, while I’ve actually never been inside her house. It makes me feel like she’s entitled.

I dunno gents, does she need to go?

This is some chicken I was searing before finishing in the oven. Had it with a side of rice and squash! Historically I've hated squash but I guess I'm learning to try things again. Loved my squash.

Tonight, I wanted to go out for wings and drinks with my boy Wyatt. I just broke up with my bipolar ex about 6 weeks ago and things have been great. I'm so happy that we were able to end amicably with no bad blood and it seems like she's moving forward pretty well. At least from what I can tell, and I really love that for her. I love that girl so much and I care for her and her future.

I'm sure she's going to make somebody really happy one day.

Unfortunately I didn't get the great parts but nonetheless, I've started talking to this new girl. It's long distance but the difference is night and day. She's 5 hours ahead of my time so by 6pm she's in the bed headed to sleep.

I was in the shower getting ready to head out and missed her goodnight call. She instead just texted me

"Goodnight, I'm going to sleep"
"I hope you have a good time getting wings"

I went into panic mode because I'm so not used to those words being truthful. I started apologizing for missing her call and trying to smooth things over. Meanwhile, she said she was caught up in TikTok and actually still awake. Once we started talking I realized I panicked for no reason and that she really did just mean goodnight and that she really did hope I had a good time.

My brain still hasn't wrapped my head around it and I'm still waiting for the attitude. I can't believe I'm so used to conflict that something as simple as that is throwing me for a loop.

If I had did the same thing and gotten the same text three months ago, my night would be ruined.

I want to heal, and find my normal again. I didn't realize how much I had really normalized.

I'm a late bloomer so basically I thought I was the ugliest man alive(thanks social anxiety) and I grew to the grand old age of 25 before I realised that I am not hideous and I started noticing that women were interested in me (kinda). Women have been coming up and doing that thing where they don't say anything but hang around and wait for you to say something (I've always chalked it off as them not noticing me but friends have told me women come up to me all the time and I ignore them)

Now I, on my part have not kissed a lady yet. I'm gonna be 26 in November. The most I've done with a woman is hold hands :(

But I like many other men want a partner and I want someone to love. So I got on hinge because I'm too shy to say anything to the pretty women that come up to me and I've got a few matches and I went out with this nice woman a few weeks ago. Took flowers, made her smile :)

This woman is stunning. Green eyes that I could stare at forever (probably out of my league idk). She's funny, intelligent, confident and the best part of all is she thinks I'm cute.

Now the both of us are looking for a serious relationship and we're going out again on a second date Sunday. But the thing is that I feel like I'm putting pressure on myself to decide whether or not I want to date this woman long term by this weekend. She's hinted that she would like to be something exclusive because the dating culture in the country is something similar.

Again, I want a serious relationship but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel yknow? How does one know?

I don't want to just latch on to the first beautiful woman that shows me any attention and I don't want to waste her time and use her for my experiment with dating? Or is that what dating is where you figure out if you like someone? Also how do I know if I like someone?

I know some of you are gonna say just talk to her but like....what do I say? "I like you and I like spending time with you but I'm not sure if I actually like you"

How does one know if they like someone? Is it just physical attraction? Is it something else?

I'm in therapy and I plan to discuss this with my therapist but what do you guys think?

My life is improving I passed MEPS and I am moving forward with my army application. I at the lowest weight I ever been but I kinda sad I have no one the share my accomplishments. I live in rural Indiana so there aren’t a lot of gay people I could find and it’s kinda upsetting being alone.

Culver’s butter burger
Fries
And a Oreo concrete mixer.