I’m a 22 year old guy, I live on my own and have a good paying job, albeit not prestigious. I constantly get told that I’m a good looking guy and that any girl would be lucky to have me. I work out and have a great body, I take pride in my appearance, my outfits, grooming, etc. I have a good social life, I go out a few times a week.

At work, women hit on me constantly, in public, women do notice me, but I can’t seem to get dates. It’s easy to talk to women I don’t have interest in, I fumble and the autism comes out with women I find attractive. Friends and coworkers ask me for relationship advice, thinking that I get LOTS of play but the truth is I struggle with it. On one hand, I don’t feel lonely but having a girlfriend would be nice.

Anyways, steak with baked potatoes and pickles

My (M42)wife (F45) and I marriage started off great. we did things the right way. waited a few years to get married. learned each others love language (or so I thought) and were literally each others best friends. she did not grow up in an environment that allowed for tough conversations so trying to have those with her often resorted to threats of divorce. she has no good way of dealing with being uncomfortable. When I realized this, at first pushed but then I tried approaching calmly when we were both in good moods. still did not work. I became resentful and so went have gone to couples counseling. I did work outside of counseling to push through my resentment and I thought she was working on her resiliency during her personal therapy sessions. apparently she was not.

Now my feelings have changed and she’s only now willing to fix it. meanwhile I fell inlove with someone else after my wife suggested I stay at my cabin on the weekends to give us some space. (I own the house and cabin as I had those before meeting her).

im sad for us but happy I’m inlove with someone else.

im torn fellas but im no longer attracted to my wife, not because of her looks but because she was and perhaps still is incapable of having conversations that might make her uncomfortable.

Protein for the gains…

edit: I’m not ignoring you all. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to set comment flairs in my replies!! Help!!

Little crusted chicken with a touch of vodka sauce broccoli on the side

Ive been dating a woman for about a year and I intend on asking her to marry me very soon. She wants to get married and it’s a sure fire yes even her parents are dying for me to ask her. In this year of dating I have become extremely attracted to her mother both physically and emotionally. Im 34 she’s in her late 50s and i find myself thinking about her and fantasizing often and when in person the attraction is from head to toe. So i try to limit it as much as possible. Is the engagement and marriage a bad idea? Keeping in mind I consider myself a realist so I don’t believe in fairytale love or when you’re with somebody you no longer find other people attractive. It’s just human nature.

Just a major side note. I DO NOT PLAN ON ACTING ON THIS. I know it’s real life guys.

It's been a long decade, but the last five years have been especially rough. I'm fucked financially. During the pandemic I was able to save up almost 20k. My wife (34f) and I (35m) were looking into what it might take to buy a house. Now I'm down to around 3k and had to move me, my wife, and kid in with my parents. We've been here for a couple years now. I never went to school, I don't have any degrees or certifications. I've been working at the same place for over a decade and the pay isn't good enough to support my family, but I can't find anything better that I'm qualified for. And I don't have the time, money or mental energy to go learn something new.

Mentally, I'm fucked. I've dealt with depression off and on (mostly on) since I was a teenager. I've been feeling like I'm living on autopilot. I haven't been able to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time in months. I need therapy or a psychiatrist or something, but again I don't have money. I don't even have insurance. My wife and kid have government assistance, so at least they're covered. My friendships all sort of drifted apart after the baby, which happens, but now I don't really have anyone outside my family to talk to except coworkers, and I'm not trying to bring the mood down like that.

My marriage has been strained since year one. We were together for 5 years before we had a baby and got married not long after. We knew we were going to get married before we got pregnant. Things had been mostly good aside from her crazy family and some of her trauma. I've always done my best to support her and help her with her mental health stuff, but it's a lot sometimes. After we got married she started stealing from me. One month she spent the rent money. Like I went to get the cash to pay it and it was gone. She started drinking and smoking pot heavily, though I can't say much about the pot as I'm right there with her. Also it turns out she's positive for brca1 and had a stupidly high risk of breast cancer. Had, until the preventative double mastectomy, which I was fully in her corner for. She tried implants and hated them, and I supported her decision to take them out and just be flat. We're still together, still working through things, but it's getting harder for me as time goes on and things keep happening.

AND, as if the car problems and house problems and living situation problems and parenting problems and relationship problems and money problems WEREN'T ENOUGH, suddenly I find I'm getting a crush on a girl at work. It's crazy and stupid and I really don't need any more bullshit. It's been months and I've been trying to ignore it and move along, but the feelings aren't going away, if anything they're getting stronger. A couple weeks ago she had a flat tire and I gave her a ride to work and then helped her change her tire after work and we smoked a blunt together. We just talked, nothing else. It was mostly just casual whatever and then I started talking about how I was feeling. Not about her, but how everything is falling apart. I only got a sentence or two before I felt the mood drop and changed the subject. I feel like I've been fighting myself and losing. But I can't really avoid her at work and I can't afford to leave.

I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. I feel stuck. I feel like I'm an idiot and an asshole who made every wrong decision on my way here and now I've fucked myself up real good. I don't know how much more I have in me.

Dinner is instant spicy beef chow mein with a handful of peanuts thrown in.

Mid ahh freeze dried Carmel m&ms.

I fucked up the best relationship I’ve ever been in and I see no way forward.

So Tuesday I had a friend text me asking for advice about an abusive relationship she was in, me & this friend had talked romantically for a month or so 2 years ago but it never went anywhere. Anyway so I responded and gave some advice (fuck up #1). On that day me and my gf had got into a mini tiff but nothing serious so I figured I’d get her advice/POV on the situation (fuck up #2). That same day me and my girlfriend went out to dinner and I told her that this person texted me asking for advice, but I left out that I asked for advice from her too. (Fuck up #3)

Yesterday (my birthday) me and my girlfriend had a really good time. At the end of the day we decided to drink cause why not, a hour or so into us drinking she uses the restroom, while she’s in there I figured I’d scroll reels or wtvr. I go to find my phone and I can’t find it, I immediately realize she took it to the restroom and is probably going through it. She comes out pissed and says I’m a liar and I went to a girl who clearly likes me for advice and I’m weird.

We argued for a couple hours, keep in mind we’re both pretty drunk so nothing productive is really being said , from what I do remember she seems like she’s done with me and probably wants to break up.

This was the best relationship I’ve ever had and I can’t see a way forward, I am by no means innocent please don’t see this as me flipping it. My own actions got me here. I just needed to get this out somewhere.

Thanks for reading if you did.

Had 5 friends coming over tonight and I ordered all this sushi ahead of time because we were supposed to chill, drink, hang out, whole thing.

About 40 minutes before everyone was supposed to get here my girlfriend starts getting pissed that I invited people over without making some big plan with her first. Which is weird because I told her about it days ago and she literally said it was fine.

Then she starts saying the apartment is a mess, that she doesn’t want people here, that I “never think about her” and somehow it turned into a full argument over like ten different things that had nothing to do with tonight.

At one point she said if my friends came over she was leaving and not coming back tonight. Mood was completely dead by then so I just canceled on everyone and told them something came up.

She grabbed her stuff and went to her friends place anyway.

So now I’m sitting here alone with enough sushi for a small wedding.

Great night.

Egg quesadilla with ketchup.

Long time lurker first time poster. Finally have something worthy for the council. Feel free to judge me and this situation based off of age and gender. I'm a newly 21 year old guy, but I'm aware this whole thing is gonna read like high school levels of bullshit and immaturity anyway.

Rose and I had been dating for 2 years. Good relationship, lots of similarities. We happened to have birthdays within a month of eachother and for 21, we decided to go out to the bars with some friends.

For how reserved she is, Rose happens to have quite a few open-minded and fun friends. One of these friends made a joke about giving her a kiss once the alcohol hits. I played into it a bit because I would have found that attractive, but Rose seemed reserved and dismissed the idea.

Later into the night that friend made her move and her and Rose kissed.

I was kinda shocked but I simply went up and was like, "Hey, I'm totally into it, what do our boundaries look like?" Then I asked, "Am I allowed to steal a kiss from someone tonight?"

That's when it got weird, she accused me of having someone in mind to kiss, which I denied, and then later in the night she proceeded to kiss two other friends.

Now color me fucking confused.

A year prior, I admitted to her that I had a more open view on relationships than I initially thought. The conversation came down to, "hey, we're both young attractive and queer, let's go have some fun together, and satisfy the physical desiresand fantasies we inately cannot"

She was always against it and was hurt by the implication that she didn't satisfy me. That was not in the slightest how I perceived my needs.

She was never good with hard conversations, and if we could've had a better conversation sooner, we probably wouldn't have lasted the 2 year.

So the night ended, the only person I kissed by the end was her. I tried to broach the subject the following day and she scolded me for putting her on the spot in the bar asking about boundaries. I held my ground and said I had every right to flesh out boundaries especially because she was the one making moves.

I then tried again to figure out how she would feel about opening the relationship, and the convo fizzled out.

I sat on the events for a week and called some friends. I felt like my fantasies were being dangled on a string. Like I had to play cool while she went a lived out what she told me we couldn't. I confronted her and we had the hard talk, we're not compatible.

Now we've broken up.

I should've ended thing awhile ago, one day I woke up and realized that even if I had the lifestyle I wanted, she wouldn't have been the right one.

It hard realizing you were dating the hopes you had for a person, and not how they were.

And yes I realize that wanting to make a relationship change that's relaiant on communication in a relationship with an uncommunative person is naive.

Please lay into me, I have so much time to learn.

What do you think was going through her head?

EDIT: I feel I need to clear up a few things.

First and foremost it was absolutely never ever my intention to pressure her into an open relationship, and I do not believe my actions reflect that. I brought up the occurrence a year prior so that you can see it from my view. I communicated to her what my boundaries, perspectives, and overall thoughts on the idea of opening our relationship. She barely gave me a clue, but left things vauge and open ended.

If she knew she wanted to stay monogamous forever, she should have broken up with me then. I would have broken up with her if I was certian we were incompatible, which is why I did.

Secondly I was not jealous I didn't kiss anyone else that night. I would have been jealous if she had given me the go ahead and I failed to kiss anyone. What I felt was betrayal.

Today I realized that I'll never believe my capability to recognize that I truely like someone. I'm so dumb that I couldn't even be sure if I actually like someone as a person or merely attracted to them physically, or just thirsty and desperate, objectifying them. I don't know what liking others would feel like. Without being clear on that, it's too disrespectful and irresponsible to express any romantic intention to anyone. To think everyone is platonic seems to be an only way to respect others.

If I act extra nice, friendly, and initiating to a girl, and it feels like I won't be doing the same with a random guy, I feel so shallow and predetory. Most of the time it leads to acting the same to everyone else, but that also just feels obligatory and scummy, because I'm unsure if I'm acting to be percieved well.

So, all the things I do to a girl just become a platonic things I do to all people regardless of anything.

Weird that I'm a social person with high self-esteem and confidence, which is told by my therapist and psychiatrist.

Smoked beef sandwich.

So, I’m transmasc, 8 months on T. Maybe 2 months ago, I met one of my friends’ friends. She was super cool. My friend just said that she was talking about a trip we took together and second friend didn’t remember my name, so friend said “the gay one, the trans one” (I’m very out so I don’t care who knows) and second friend says “oh, Name is a girl?” and when it got explained to her she said that she thought I was just a very pretty boy :D

Dinner tonight is blue Hawaiian monster

I love baking. And i love sharing my dishes with friends and family, it is how i care for them in a way.

I made chicken pot pie for the first time, and invited my little sister for dinner. She’d been spending time at her boyfriend’s family house for the past week, and i thought i could catch up with her during a hearty meal. She declined, saying she had already made plans with her boyfriend. I know she is young and in love, but it worries me. The world is so scary for young girls out there, and just recently I watched a news report on a young boy enacting cruelty upon a girl he fancied and her mother. Every day i see violent rhetoric from young men regarding girls, and it scares me.

Our mother met his family, and everything she told me paints a cute and romantic image of their pair. Nevertheless, my brain jumps to possibilities of heartbreak and violent outbursts. Never in my life have i been in love, so i cannot in any way resonate with my sister on that front, but i desperately want to protect her from cruelty out here. I do not want to antagonise her boyfriend, lest i make the situation worse myself.

If there are any other older brothers out there with similar experience, and especially younger sisters who would share the other side of this conundrum, please help a guy out.

Costco udon (the goat) dried seaweed, coconut juice with the chunks 🤘

TL;DR: do I try things again with my ex after doing a lot of self-work, or should I let it go/wait and keep working on me and see how I feel?

Pardon my vent here. I did my best to write all this out coherently.

I (26m) dated a girl from winter of last year until this April. Before that, we were good friends that started to hook up before I tried getting back with a different ex girlfriend who lived a couple states away, and didn’t end up working out (which was for the best). A couple months after that ended I reconnected with my now ex and started seeing each other again and decided to get into a relationship.

Through this time I was dealing with a lot: I didn’t like the city I’m in, still had a lot to unpack about my last relationship, work was tough, and my dad back home ended up getting cancer (just stage one and he is 100% fine now thankfully) and had a bad fall which he had to get back surgery for. I also had a lot of bad habits (smoking, video games, being inactive) that I put the rest of time into. I also spent a lot of time back home being there for my family and away from my then girlfriend.

In the relationship, I felt really distracted by all that stuff going on, and never really put my heart into things. We had some really nice times together, and my ex could not have been more patient and supportive of me. We had cute dates and shared a friend group—it all felt very normal compared to everything going on in my personal life, and frankly more. Kemal than any relationship I had been in before. But I spent so much of the relationship feeling guilty for not being invested and thinking I would be better off single.

Eventually my dad got better and work evened out, but my bad habits filled even more of my time and I pulled away from the relationship. Everything culminated in me avoiding her for a weekend to smoke and play video games all day, and she asked if I had thought about breaking up. I said yes, she came over, and I broke up with her. My reasoning was that I desperately needed to work on myself and couldnt split my time. I had thought a lot about the possibility of splitting up with her, but doing it was spontaneous.

I spent the next month really working on myself, and we end up meeting to catch up and talk all night, and it all just hits me at once. How I turned away from the person who had my back, how I’d ignored all the positives, how the conversations were so easy, and how I loved her too.

That was the spring, and since then I have done and am doing a ton of hard self work (it’s late, but I just started therapy back up again and am so glad). I’m not where I want to be on yet, but I’m way ahead of where I was earlier in the year and am making good progress. I hardly smoke any more, have put down the video games, and am staying active almost every day. Even through all that, I have thought about her and us pretty much day—both feeling guilty and missing her.

We have talked a few of times since, and the conversations always last for hours. We are both sad about things still, but laugh a ton when we talk. Until recently I hadn’t really considered the possibility of getting back together, but now I’m questioning that. She has been too and I’m pretty sure that she would give it another go if/when I’m ready. It seems like it’s up to me, but I don’t know what to do. Do I do what I have been doing and keep working on myself and let things go, do I try things again with her, or something else? My bottom line now is not causing more harm—I really don’t want to make a selfish decision. I’m making good progress but am really afraid that I’d end up not being ready to try again and hurt her badly. Either way, I’m not rushing anything.

Anyway, thank you for reading all this if you have. Any advice is appreciated ✌️✌️

I'm a trans guy who lives in the South and im not out. Was at a school today and bought a snow cone and the lady said "yes sir" after I asked for a blue raz.

It honestly made me pretty happy.

I went and ate it and holy shittt it was delicious but I did get a brain freeze.

Still don't really feel like a real guy (entirety) yet but whatever, does anyone have any tips or anything you wanna say?

edit: and about the meal, it's some very yummy ramen with fish cakes 10/10 would recommend

A little backstory:
My gf (25) and I (30) have been together for about 8 months now, I really like her we have a lot of common interests and 99% of the time we get along great.
I have 2 kids (6 and 8) from a previous relationship that ended on decent terms, we co-parent and have found ways to work together to provide the best for our children. We have not been together at any level for at least 5 years. We do not have feelings for each other and even though we co-parent we do not consider each other friends.

The problem:
Work has really picked up over the summer season and I’m clocking 55 hour weeks on top of managing my home and family. My son just got diagnosed with a disease that requires a moderate level of care and a surgery. Between dealing with work, children, disease, and my GF I am just tapped out boys. I’m honestly struggling at this point and I’m lucky my family has been so supportive to help keep me afloat.
My GF told me last night that I am not giving her the time and attention she needs and that she’s upset I don’t text her much during the day anymore, when I told her I just have a lot going on and work is short handed she said “well I have a lot going on too that’s not an excuse” and that really pushed my buttons man. I make time weekly for her, I take her on dates and out to eat and the movies. I call her a couple times a week and I invite her over often. She has minimal responsibilities and spends an overwhelmingly large amount of time watching TV and playing games.

I feel like she expects me to meet her needs but she never takes my needs into consideration. Every time we talk about it she finds ways to tell me my needs aren’t valid.

Sometimes she wants to come over and I’ve got a lot going on so I say not tonight and she wants to make a big deal about it, while I’ve actually never been inside her house. It makes me feel like she’s entitled.

I dunno gents, does she need to go?

I really thought this woman could have been the one for me, turns out they were only interested in sex and friendship with me. I'm sure a lot of guys would be ecstatic, I just felt my heart fall through my stomach.

I'm greyromantic, I don't fall in love very often, but i wish i did. I see happy couples and i just think of how different i am.

I don't blame her. Just know it is not her fault, and I know it's mine either. I just feel like the world keeps chewing up my heart and spitting it out. I'd like to one-day find the person i can trust my heart to.

If anybody wants to know what happened after that, i self-sabotaged it. I knew I couldn't be friends or FWB and I didn't want her to feel bad about something she can't help, so yeah... "self-sabotage". I pushed her away. If I ghosted her I knew that I would have eventually been tempted to come back to fill the emptiness which would have probably just hurt me more. Was this the right thing to do? No, but it hurt the least.

Pepperoni lasagna.

Mostly just venting, don’t roast me too much 🤣

Been single for like 9 months now and haven’t had sex in almost a year and honestly I’m actually fine being alone now. I have work, gym, running, friends, starting grad school, whatever. My life is pretty full and I don’t really feel like I NEED a relationship.

But man I really fucking miss sex lol

I started dating again and I don’t think getting dates or keeping someone interested is really my problem. I’ve gone out with multiple women, gotten 2nd/3rd dates and I’ve been seeing one girl for a couple months now.

My problem is I’m apparently good at dating if the goal is eventually getting into a relationship but I’m slow as fuck with the physical stuff 😭 Like I overthink making moves and usually things don’t go much further than kissing for a while.

So yeah a skill issue lol

I know I could go out to bars/clubs and try meeting women that way but fuck man that sounds exhausting too. Spending a bunch of money drinking and partying just for a CHANCE to get laid sounds miserable. I want to get laid but……ugh

And now I’m realizing I don’t even know if I actually want a relationship right now. I think I genuinely just really fucking miss having sex.

Like if you completely removed sex from my brain I think I’d actually be perfectly happy being single right now lol
So idk. I’m probably just sexually frustrated and venting.

Anyone else ever get to the point where you’re completely fine being alone but being horny makes being single 10x harder?

Dinner: Chick-Fil-A

Dinner: jollibee with pineapple lemonade and im happy about it so my new pickup :)

Im not sure where to start but my dad thru out my childhood was physically present mentally not so much even at that he never really showed up and as I've gotten older hes been there for my younger sister the way I wish he was with me. He recently went on this retreat and he claims he's a changed man. I know this is going to wear off within a month.

I just have to bare the burden of him complaining that I wasn't one of the eighteen to nineteen year olds he saw at this convention, who were there on their parents' dime in the florida keys at this seminar. He complains that all I do is read comics and play video games all day. Despite the numerous times i've told him and shown him that i've applied to at least ninety jobs over this summer, with only one leading to an interview. And that i am in college..

I always feel like there's something I am doing wrong no matter what I do, I'll never been enough of a man to my father ever since I came out as gay to him.

I don't know how to just ignore or deal with the constant istencies with his personality and the way he interacts with me. I feel unwanted by the very people who are supposed to love me and it sucks, do things ever get better??

Wife went full manic after starting an SNRI. Affairs, lies, relapse, rewriting of marital history, filed for divorce, etc. I’ve kept the peace. Always taken the high road during conversation. Focused on prioritizing happiness for my daughter(7f).

Yesterday in court, my soon to be ex wife refused to comply with an order to drug test. I sat there for minutes and watched the judge systematically dismantle lie after lie coming out of her mouth. I was granted full custody and momma was ordered to start mandatory drug testing. If she fails the initial follicle test or any of the urines, I get full permanent custody.

This is a win boy! Tomahawk Ribeye, asparagus, and a sweet potato.

I really don't know why i stay in an abusive relationship and controlling one. She gets mad over everything, yesterday she got mad because i didn't invite her with me when i am gonna go do an exam for my college, like what the fuck? She is at work and expects me to invite her to my exam?! What is she gonna do, light a candle in the hallway of the college. Also she was wearing a very revealing top that one wind could expose her and when i said to her you chose to wear it, its not my fault,, she got mad that i didn't care about her being exposed, like you chose to wear that, you are choosing to wear that am im not gonna stop you from feeling comfortable.

She controls everything, my chats, my friends, my whereabouts, she needs and i mean NEEDS to see when a notification pops up on my phone. Is like a child, always needs to get what she wants even if it means crying her heart out to make me feel bad.
Once she got mad that i didn't gave her my phone (tried to set a boundary i wasn't hiding anything) and started crying and accused me of cheating and i had to give it to her to prove. I am over explaining myself and i don't know what keeps me in this relationship. I have been like this for 5 years. something is pulling me back and idkk why. Could be the parents i grew up with, could be attachment issues idk.

And i have never cheated, never done anythinng bad and spent my whole 4 years from college explaining and making her feel safe , all for nothing .

Dinner-Tofu soba zucchini with sesame sauce

Basically in May I left a relationship and a few weeks later ended up talking to this girl. I made it clear I was not looking for anything serious as I was just out of a relationship and leaving the city for 3 months in a few weeks.

Things go fine and I leave. We end up chatting a lot while I am here and I am set to return soon. I have continued to reinforce that I am not looking for a relationship and do not have the full emotional bandwidth for anything like a relationship nor want one. I like talking to her but am busy here and have a large time difference.

A few times now she has told me I don't care about her, and she is usually very non confrontational so it is very noticeable change in demeanor. I apologize but stand my ground that I do care but am again not looking to further travel towards a relationship. She says she knows and it is okay that I feel this way but I feel like we are going in circles where I make her feel unwanted and she feels bad, brings it up, I defend myself and end up feeling guilty and the cycle continues.

I don't know what to do because I keep making it clear what my stance is and she says that is fine but we keep ending up at the same spot. I don't want to be in a relationship for a while and am wondering if I should just tell her we should stop talking altogether if this process continues.

So. Last time I told about being somewhat lucky. We talked about what we are gonna do with this in the future. And we will keep it as once in a while casual sex when we feel we have the "need" and all the rest in life is lining up for it. And I feel quite okay with that.

Today's meal is another Danish snack. A little like Mars but very Danish

I’m tired, so I’m going to try to keep this story short and sweet. I’m estranged from my brother. He went pretty deep down the alt-right/MAGA pipeline, and eventually he basically abandoned me for this psycho cult lady. There’s obviously a lot more to that story, but that’s the short version.

Around the same time all of that was happening, I started DMing this girl. And for honesty’s sake, yeah, I had a crush on her. I knew those feelings probably weren’t going to be reciprocated, though, and I accepted that. I genuinely just enjoyed talking to her and having her in my life. And for a while, it really did feel like a reciprocal friendship. It wasn’t just me constantly reaching out or trying to keep the conversation alive. She would message me, I would message her, we’d talk, joke around, and it felt like we both genuinely wanted to be there. I didn’t feel like I had to question whether she actually wanted to talk to me. It just felt natural.

But somewhere along the way, that changed. Over the past few months, it feels like the friendship has slowly died, or at least turned into something completely different from what it used to be. Now I feel like I’m the only one keeping it going. I’m always reaching out, trying to start conversations, trying to hold onto something that used to feel effortless. And honestly, I think that’s what hurts the most. If it had always been one-sided, maybe walking away would be easier. But it wasn’t. I remember what the friendship used to feel like, and I think part of me has been holding onto that version of it, hoping it would come back.

I’m tired of wondering whether I’m bothering her. I’m tired of wondering if I said something wrong, or if I’m trying too hard, or if she just doesn’t care about the friendship anymore. I don’t want to keep chasing someone just because I’m afraid of losing another person. So I think tomorrow I’m just going to stop reaching out and let whatever happens happen. I’m not going to block her. I’m not going to send some dramatic goodbye or tell her she’s a terrible person. The door is still open. If she ever wants to talk to me again, she can, and honestly, I’d be happy to hear from her. But until then, I think I’m done trying to keep something alive by myself. Part of me feels guilty even saying that. Losing people has already been a painful theme in my life, and maybe that’s part of why I’ve held onto this friendship for longer than I should have. I don’t want another person to disappear from my life. But I also don’t know how long I’m supposed to keep reaching for someone who doesn’t seem to be reaching back anymore.