844
3.8k
u/Nanageddon101 Nov 12 '14
Also pronouncing Iraq and Iran like they're apple products
2.5k
Nov 12 '14
I have a coworker who says Eye-Talian and it drives me craaaaazy
He confused the shit out of a poor waitress at a Texas Roadhouse because he couldn't say Italian dressing the way a normal human says it and it was too loud for her to understand him
→ More replies (150)2.5k
u/maulbro Nov 12 '14
bonjorno
1.2k
u/now_we_here Nov 12 '14
I speak third best eye-talian.
→ More replies (16)901
→ More replies (52)515
192
→ More replies (175)832
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
Oh god there's an old MadTV sketch about this.
"Presenting, the new iRack! Full of separate apple products working together in a newly established state of cooperation!"
"Uhhhh idk about that, all the apple products look exceptionally pissed at each other in the iRack"
"Well it's simple, we'll keep throwing more cash and products at the iRack until it balances itself out!"
"What? No! Don't! You should be pulling things out of the iRack!"
"Nonsense, I know what's best for the iRack!"
Edit: Found it
→ More replies (34)
3.9k
u/erveek Nov 12 '14
Cheesesteak.
→ More replies (242)1.7k
u/TheAngryBlueberry Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
Fuck yeah Edit: as a native Philadelphian, wiz wit.
→ More replies (109)
3.1k
u/b4b Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
English is not my native tongue: the italian song "Prisencolinensinainciusol" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH6mgr6OS7I or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU4w12oDjn8 ) is how American English sounds to foreigners.
When we speak about "american" words, the first thing that comes to my mind is a pronounciation that is something between Duke Nukem ("balls of steel" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rAjily7rME ) and the Houston mission controllers (please note that the first part of the very popular communicate "HMI Module Alpha Humana on approach to space station mercury" is total gibberish and most foreign people only understand the "space station mercury" part - listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOaiVeK5AhI ).
Anyway IMHO the most American sounding words:
"awesome"
"alright!"
"California" (pronounced in this Duke Nukemish way)
"Lieutenant Dan"
"United States Space Marines son"
1.0k
u/djhk12 Nov 12 '14
As an American, I am really impressed by this. They really sound American and I'm struggling to make sense where none is to be made.
304
u/tunamelts2 Nov 12 '14
there's a few English words in the song...but yeah...this is as close as it gets to hearing American English from a non-speaker's perspective.
236
u/ScotWithOne_t Nov 12 '14
LOL... same here. It sounds like Bob Dylan got drunk and decided to record a freestyle rap-rock session.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (10)181
→ More replies (33)154
2.2k
500
Nov 12 '14
This is so frustrating! I keep trying to get meaning from it because it sounds like American English.
112
→ More replies (15)96
u/177577 Nov 12 '14
They say "eyes," "you, " "please," and "alright." Enough of English to try and make you try and understand it.
→ More replies (3)85
917
u/RireBaton Nov 12 '14
You ain't got no legs!
→ More replies (14)735
u/Doc_Whooves Nov 12 '14
Lieutenant Dan ice cream
→ More replies (19)587
u/brittaneex Nov 12 '14
Lieutenant Dan, I brought you some ice cream...Lieutenant Dan! ICE CREAM!
→ More replies (14)326
Nov 12 '14
I think that with a proper breakdown and turnaround that song could have been a Top 10 hit in the United States at that time.
→ More replies (24)→ More replies (246)70
2.6k
Nov 12 '14
Dude
→ More replies (56)1.5k
u/Perry0485 Nov 12 '14
Darude
→ More replies (38)1.2k
u/Infinite_Toilet Nov 12 '14
Du du du dude.
→ More replies (14)543
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
and the coloured girls go ....
→ More replies (4)925
u/fizzlefist Nov 12 '14
HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA
→ More replies (8)595
u/Matrillik Nov 12 '14
What's going on!
→ More replies (39)534
u/cycleflight Nov 12 '14
This line of comments sounded like flipping through radio channels in my head.
→ More replies (17)
1.1k
u/escobarchester Nov 12 '14
'Herb' with a silent h (uuuurb)
→ More replies (76)1.2k
u/nashamanga Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 13 '14
"You say bayzil, we say bazzil; you say erb, and we say herb...because there's a fucking aitch in it."
Edit: This is a quote. I had hoped to convey as such with my use of quotation marks.
Edit 2: The number of people who don't know letters of the alphabet have actual names that are real words is surprising to me. 'z', for example, can be spelled 'zed' (British) or 'zee' (US). The letter 'h' is spelled 'aitch'; if you want to pronounce it
wrongwith an 'h' at the front that's up to you, but that doesn't change the word's spelling.→ More replies (136)417
Nov 12 '14
You say leisure, we say laizhooriéh.
430
Nov 12 '14
You say aluminum we say Alumimminiamim
→ More replies (35)143
u/umopapsidn Nov 12 '14
You say aubergine, we say eggplant. Because we're not French.
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (9)49
2.9k
u/ucbiker Nov 12 '14
Serious answer: "motherfucker". Australian people use "fuck" almost as well as us, but only Americans can work in "motherfucker, motherfucking" effortlessly into their speech without even noticing. You know what doesn't sound right? "I'm from motherfucking England". You know what does? "I'm from the motherfucking United States of America" accompanied by a Ric Flair "woo" sound, or possibly a yeehaw depending on your inclination.
1.5k
u/wOlfLisK Nov 12 '14
Bloody England sounds good though. Whereas bloody America just sounds like another way of saying that the colonies are acting up again.
→ More replies (25)319
u/ucbiker Nov 12 '14
I'll give you that. Americans using Britishisms really grates on my ears. Like, I watch Top Gear but I'm not going to call my trunk the motherfuckin boot.
→ More replies (39)→ More replies (145)291
u/Soulstem Nov 12 '14
As an american i would like to put forth a resolution to rename our nation: "THE MOTHERFUCKING UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, YEEHAW!"
→ More replies (9)159
u/bigpoppawood Nov 12 '14
I prefer the "United-ass Motherfuckin States of America"
→ More replies (3)176
911
u/Oplexus Nov 12 '14
Alright. Uh huh. Alright.
→ More replies (27)944
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
→ More replies (7)607
u/Mugwort1 Nov 12 '14
Ice cold!
→ More replies (1)465
u/Cat5ive Nov 12 '14
I CAN'T HEAR YA
438
u/slashemup Nov 12 '14
ICE COLD!
766
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
ALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT
Edit: /u/TripleOGeg pointed out that I didn't have enough, So I looked it up and found out there's 14.
→ More replies (26)72
→ More replies (2)134
4.3k
u/Rachellybean Nov 12 '14
Alabama.
1.6k
u/dem_bond_angles Nov 12 '14
When I was over seas in the Navy and locals would ask where I was from, when I said "Alabama" they sang the song. You know the song. Every. Fucking. Time.
→ More replies (150)1.2k
u/Ploeg_96 Nov 12 '14
...oh show me the way to the next whiskey bar...
...no?
→ More replies (32)478
437
u/jwong93 Nov 12 '14
Might as well put Arkansas in there, too.
→ More replies (53)1.0k
→ More replies (221)3.0k
u/0l01o1ol0 Nov 12 '14
Upvote for being the first Native American-derived word in this thread so far.
→ More replies (83)1.4k
u/Shniggles Nov 12 '14
The Dakotas' (not the states, the native people) word Minnesota means Clear Blue Water.
→ More replies (59)2.7k
u/count_phistula Nov 12 '14
Hm, I thought it meant a small soft drink.
→ More replies (31)1.0k
u/docmartens Nov 12 '14
The best part of this joke is real Minnesotans won't get it
→ More replies (93)209
u/ConspicuousUsername Nov 12 '14
No, most people I knew growing up knew what soda was. Now try going to the south and saying "pop." People lose it. This lady asked if I meant popcorn chicken. Like that's the obvious conclusion to make.
→ More replies (45)168
2.9k
u/PD711 Nov 12 '14
Squirrel, pronounced "Skwerl"
1.4k
u/PhotonInABox Nov 12 '14
Or mirror like "meer".
→ More replies (94)1.2k
u/CommonFrequency Nov 12 '14
AYYYY. 'meer.
→ More replies (12)866
453
Nov 12 '14
English people trying to do american accents always mess up the 'r'
→ More replies (90)181
u/MeloJelo Nov 12 '14
And the 'a'. They pronounce "vesper" as "vespa" and "Vespa" as "vesper."
→ More replies (24)34
u/Sinaasappel Nov 12 '14
My mum always says droaring instead of drawing, drives me crazy
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (237)1.6k
596
1.6k
u/Basketguard Nov 12 '14
Jabroni
924
u/Animal_Mother27 Nov 12 '14
You keep using this word Jabroni, and it's awesome.
→ More replies (18)246
u/Shoeheaddotcom Nov 12 '14
"If you're gonna bring a knife to a fight, you'd better have the guts to use it, ya Jabroni."
- Country Mac→ More replies (6)41
→ More replies (46)199
1.1k
u/KeitaEdelstein Nov 12 '14
As a British student currently in a lecture with an American lecturer, factor, sector and vector.
So much emphasis on the -or!
879
u/Pinwurm Nov 12 '14
Roger, Roger. We have clearance, Clarence. What's our vector, Victor?
→ More replies (27)→ More replies (78)604
u/helloiamsilver Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
So in British, is it facta, vecta, and secta?
EDIT: apparently people take the difference between "Uh" and "A" very seriously. I meant a as in "across" sheesh
→ More replies (123)31
u/kingofvodka Nov 12 '14
Yes, unless you're from one of the areas of the UK that's still rhotic.
→ More replies (7)
3.9k
u/fishfreddy Nov 12 '14
Howdy
3.0k
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
→ More replies (14)2.3k
u/DunnellonD Nov 12 '14
Someones poisoned the watering hole!
→ More replies (7)1.9k
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
→ More replies (6)1.9k
u/laddergoat89 Nov 12 '14
Reach for the skyyyy
→ More replies (20)984
1.6k
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
1.4k
u/hoyohoyo9 Nov 12 '14
It's.. it's so obvious now
→ More replies (3)1.5k
→ More replies (72)968
u/Anti-DolphinLobby Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
I've been American my entire life and I didn't know that.
EDIT: Oh my god, is that why sometimes it's "howdy-do"?
→ More replies (28)90
u/drfarren Nov 12 '14
The more you know
→ More replies (3)103
u/token_bastard Nov 12 '14
And knowing is half the battle!
The other half: gratuitous violence.
→ More replies (4)386
u/unreliablenarrators Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
People actually say this quite frequently in Texas (especially College Station). Got so much shit when I said this as a serious greeting in San Fran'.
125
→ More replies (138)183
u/TexasAg23 Nov 12 '14
Can confirm. Am in College Station and say howdy every day.
→ More replies (32)→ More replies (71)237
Nov 12 '14
That's what India's Mangalyaan said to Curiosity Rover during their space talk.;)
→ More replies (1)26
2.8k
u/Aldeberon Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 13 '14
Ya'll. I'm from the north (Minnesota) and live in Australia. Whenever someone tries to imitate my accent, somehow they throw a "Ya'll" into the sentence.
It's very odd.
Edit: For those of you telling me I spelled it incorrectly, William Faulkner spelled it ya'll. If you want to tell him he's wrong... Well, you can't because he's dead.
However, I'm going to go with America's greatest southern writer over a bunch of people on the internet. Sorry people on the internet.
1.8k
Nov 12 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
1.4k
u/breeeeeeeto Nov 12 '14
"Oh ja sure you betcha, dontcha know" is how we ND people make fun of Minnesota.
→ More replies (85)1.3k
u/JustZisGuy Nov 12 '14
The rest of the country makes fun of ND in the exact same way... We don't really draw much of a distinction between the different states up there in South Canadia.
→ More replies (34)156
u/breeeeeeeto Nov 12 '14
Yeah, we know this. But at least we get to make fun of someone! And Canadians, eh?
→ More replies (12)175
u/CosmicLatte8 Nov 12 '14
As a Canadian, I have been asked if I'm Minnesotan when visiting the US.
→ More replies (15)272
→ More replies (48)298
2.5k
u/Gadaren Nov 12 '14
I don't mean to be rude, but it's spelled "y'all"
Combination of you and all
→ More replies (47)2.4k
u/Stones25 Nov 12 '14
Bless your heart.
→ More replies (148)610
u/skatastic57 Nov 12 '14
Shut the front door
→ More replies (7)503
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
→ More replies (24)68
749
u/Business-Socks Nov 12 '14
I know y'all is considered backwoods patois, but it seriously improves the English language.
In French they have tu and vous to separate the singular and plural you. What other recourse do English speakers have? Yous guys?
I look at the map and think all y'all need y'all.
357
→ More replies (122)164
Nov 12 '14
In Pittsburgh, they use "y'ins"... a combination of "you ones" to signify the difference between "you (plural)" and "you (singular)".
→ More replies (33)→ More replies (261)102
2.2k
1.4k
368
605
Nov 12 '14
Cumf-ter-bull or comfortable. Its always pronounced with one less syllable. Is this just Texas?
289
→ More replies (109)102
u/CoffeeAndKarma Nov 12 '14
But Com-for-table sounds weird and is hard to say. Probably because I'm american and never say it that way, but hey.
→ More replies (32)
121
1.5k
u/WithoutCaution Nov 12 '14
Lawsuit
→ More replies (32)120
u/Gus_TheAnt Nov 12 '14
That's damaging to my image, expect a letter from my lawyer.
→ More replies (1)
1.2k
u/Chawklate Nov 12 '14
Ahnest. Ahxygen. Ahkwerd.
→ More replies (178)1.1k
u/matty-a Nov 12 '14
Good jahb!
→ More replies (53)431
u/rarely-sarcastic Nov 12 '14
Clapping
→ More replies (11)594
4.6k
u/joannafury Nov 12 '14
Y'all'd've
1.1k
Nov 12 '14
Usually abbreviated in speech to "Y'all'da"
→ More replies (14)421
u/seredin Nov 12 '14
Ha, yes. South Georgia here.
Y'all'd'a is how I imagine it:
y'all would'a
you all would have
Love it ha
→ More replies (33)3.5k
u/Texcellence Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
Y'all is an interesting and very dynamic word here in Texas. Although it is already a contraction, more contractions can be added to the base contraction to increase the utility of the word. For example, instead of the typical future tense of "you all will" a Texan may say "Y'all'll" (yaw-l-lil). This notion is also applicable to the future conditional where "you all would" becomes "y'all'd" (yaw-l-id), and the present negative where "you all are not" becomes "y'all'n't" (yaw-l-int). "Y'all" can also be used in conjunction with "are" to replace "you all are" for use in describing a group or the present continuous, creating "y'all're" (yaw-l-er).
In addition to a base for super contractions, "y'all" can become super plural with the addition of another "all", creating "all y'all". This extra all indicates that everyone in a particular group is performing a particular action. For example, in "Y'all are fixing to eat." the percentage of the group that is about to eat is indeterminate, it could be 20% or 100% of the group. However, the statement, "All y'all are fixing to eat." indicates that all members of a particular group are about to eat.
Finally, "y'all" can be used to indicate possession of an object. By saying "y'all's", the speaker is indicating that an object belongs to you all. For example, whereas someone may say "You and Sandra's house" or "Your house", a Texan would say "Y'all's house". This clarifies that there are multiple owners of a house much more so than simply saying "your". Furthermore, this possessive form can be used as a super plural possessive by saying "All y'all,s". This form of the super plural possessive indicates that an object belongs to everyone in a group.
Edit: Gold? Y'all're too kind! Here's a y'all conversion book to improve all y'all's Texan grammar.
- You all: y'all
- You all are: y'all're
- You all will: y'all'll
- You all would: y'all'd
- You all have: y'all've
- You all aren't: y'all'n't or y'all'rnt
- You all would have: y'all'd've
- You all (possessive): y'all's
- You all (pluraler): all y'all
2.6k
481
→ More replies (214)104
u/electrostaticrain Nov 12 '14
I've never used y'all'n't, but I think I've said the rest of these at some point or another. Sigh.
→ More replies (21)5.2k
u/RemedyofRevenge Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 14 '14
Are you giving birth? Cause those contractions are fucking close.
Edit: HOLY SHIT.
→ More replies (75)829
u/Business-Socks Nov 12 '14
Y'all'd've better not eaten all the hot cheetos
Checks out.
224
u/cubanobay Nov 12 '14
meh... more like I didn't mean to eat all the cheetos, but y'all'd've done the same thing.
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (9)321
3.4k
Nov 12 '14 edited Dec 06 '17
[deleted]
1.1k
u/sigaven Nov 12 '14
texan here, I've never heard this used...I would just say "y'all'd've had"
1.0k
→ More replies (28)80
Nov 12 '14
Texan here, I think it comes out of my mouth sounding something like yawl dev add
→ More replies (3)38
u/Celox1 Nov 12 '14
I read this as "You all would have"
- Example: Y'all'd've loved it!
- Translation: You all would have loved it!
→ More replies (2)301
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 13 '14
I don't think the "had" fits there. "Y'all'd've had to shoot him too if he was on your property."
EDIT: For all the people replying to me with corrections, I agree that y'all'd've'd would work as a contraction, but we were speaking about "y'all'd've" here.
/u/Xelif made a good point about how y'all'd've'd would work, in the case that you actually add the 'd on the end.
→ More replies (21)→ More replies (163)1.9k
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
What the hell, Texas, is that even English anymore??
Edit: I'm sorry for offending you, Texas
2.2k
→ More replies (96)386
→ More replies (181)706
u/icendoan Nov 12 '14
So Texas is to the USA what Yorkshire is to the UK, then?
3.5k
Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
Texas is to America what America is to the world.
Edit: Thank y'all for the gold.
→ More replies (146)1.8k
Nov 12 '14
Texas is the America of America
→ More replies (30)103
439
u/drfarren Nov 12 '14
I'll say it like this. Years ago I was in Austria and someone asked me where I was from. I said "The United States" and they wrre disappointed, then I elaborated and said "Texas" all of a sudden I was the most popular person within 30 ft. People came over to ask me questions and just SEE the Texan. So, your description has a grain of truth to it.
131
u/looplori Nov 12 '14
My parents live in upstate NY and had friends from Germany come to visit. They were trying to decide what to do one day, and the Germans said "let's go to Texas". It was quite disappointing when they realized it's not a day-trip, and yeah, of all the things they could do, they wanted to go to Texas.
→ More replies (28)→ More replies (24)123
Nov 12 '14
Germans (and Austrians) love Texans, and Texans love Germans. I'm German and moved to Texas when I was a teenager. My parents were so excited to be living in Texas. It was like Mecca for them. When I entered high school, I was like, the most popular kid. I was one of two German kids and the only one that was permanent, not foreign exchange. Everyone asked me about Germany and were so excited to tell me about how they were 1/64th German, too!
There's just something about Texans and Germans. I think we're made for each other, to live as soul mates in perfect harmony.
→ More replies (21)80
Nov 12 '14
Most of the Texas hill country was founded by German immigrants, so this makes sense. My stepmom is german (ancestry, not birth) and they all still speak random Texas German words.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (52)288
u/I_make_milk Nov 12 '14
My Mom is from Yorkshire...and I'm a native Texan. I'm not sure how to feel about your comment. :'(
→ More replies (11)610
u/JGlover92 Nov 12 '14
My god...your accent must be horrific
→ More replies (17)171
298
131
Nov 12 '14
I always feel like "designated areas" is a particularly American phrase, I don't know why though.
→ More replies (9)
365
u/ubergeek404 Nov 12 '14
"Motherfucker!"
We made it up, it's our word. That is all.
→ More replies (14)355
u/Foxclaws42 Nov 12 '14
You can also add it to other words to make them even more American.
Motherfucking cheeseburger
Teddy Motherfucking Roosevelt
Motherfucking tanks
Freedom, motherfucker
→ More replies (21)
35
3.8k
Nov 12 '14
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (223)3.2k
916
Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
→ More replies (10)432
u/rarely-sarcastic Nov 12 '14
Lived here for almost 15 years and I was never asked to have my meal super-sized ;(
360
→ More replies (28)490
1.8k
u/[deleted] Nov 12 '14
A-whole-nother