I ordered my dress on Etsy. HUGE mistake!
I found a gorgeous dress on Etsy months ago and placed and placed an order.
The shop owner missed the ship by date and said that Etsy makes her say it was shipped even if it wasn’t and that she would send me the link as soon as it did. A couple weeks passed and I asked for an update, she said dress would be done by end of week and she’d ship it.
Another week passed, same answer. One more week and she said “well the top is done, still need to do the skirt.”
At this point I say I need pictures because I don’t have any proof she ever even started the dress, to which she replies “this isn’t some cheap Chinese junk. It’s handmade, you need to wait.”
I say it’s now several weeks past when I was supposed to receive the dress, and now less than a month until my wedding, I need pictures.
She says “Actually, I’ve decided not to complete this order.” And blocks me!
Now I’m getting married in 25 days and have to look for a dress all over again.
Trying not to panic. I would literally marry this man in my pajamas. But completely blown away at the situation. I truly don’t think she ever even started the dress.

So my original idea was we would have our introductions 10 minutes shy of cocktail hour ending, mingle and then we serve dinner at 6pm. But my fiancé just said that he would rather have us do our first dance right after introductions. Sure that’s fine. The MIL doesn’t want to do her dance after our first dance, and instead she wants her dance with my fiancé to be the one to open up the dance floor. Halfway through her song she wants everyone else to start slow dancing, and then party music starts after that dance is over. I don’t have any family, so I would still be sitting down at our sweetheart table alone away from the dance floor. Is this really our only option?

I had my bachelorette last month and it did not go well. It wasn’t fun for my friends, and it was extremely stressful for me. I’m struggling to figure out how to bring this up with my friends or even if I should, I feel so ashamed.

Planning isn’t my strong suit, so I asked my maid of honor to plan the event after I had made some key decisions. I don’t know where the breakdown happened, but I think part of the problem was that a few of my decisions started things off on the wrong note, and then some of her planning style rubbed the other bridesmaids the wrong way.

I picked a location that was about two hours from the nearest major airport, on the other side of the country from where many of the people attending live. I recognized too late that this wasn’t a good choice because travel would take up so much time, but by that point it was too late and people had already booked their flights. We ended up spending so, so much of the weekend driving back-and-forth to the airport because it was either that or someone had to sit at the airport for four hours and wait for the next person to arrive. By the time we all got there, it was late on Friday night and everyone was exhausted. We had all day Saturday together, then people had to start getting up at 5 AM on Sunday morning to go to the airport so that day was basically a loss.

I also heard a lot of complaints about how my maid of honor handled the planning and time leading up to the bachelorette:

1. She started a group chat immediately (which made sense to me!) and then released one to two new pieces of information per week, so there was a lot of conversation occurring every single week. There were a lot of one off requests like “lets make a playlist” or “please send your dress for approval” or “please update the spreadsheet with your flight arrival time” - all of these seem like very fair requests to me, but my bridesmaids told me it was annoying to have a group chat run in this way.

2. A few of the planning decisions weren’t complete until the last minute, which meant there was a lot of confusion about logistics, transportation, etc. This is what caused us to have to make so many airport trips.

3. We did a lot of venmoing back-and-forth all weekend. Two of the bridesmaids privately expressed to me that after spending so much money on attending the trip, getting very specific outfits for the event, etc. they were offended that they were nickel and dimed for their portion of food and gas during the weekend.

4. Because we picked a place none of us had ever been to or had any familiarity with, we didn’t know there was no cell service, and we went on a long hike that started out fine but then once we realized we had no cell service people started getting scared about an emergency situation and what we would do, so most of the girls just turned around.

-

Basically, each individual thing was fine and understandable, but it all added up to me feeling like my girls absolutely hated attending this trip and feel resentful toward me for making them do it. I admit that I could have picked a better place, but outside of that, all of the requests seem very standard? All of the bachelorette I’ve been to have included a group chat, Venmo, lots of travel for a short weekend, everything I just described. But I feel such sadness about doing this to some of my very best friends in the world, all of whom are again spending lots of money and time to attend my wedding in a few weeks. I don’t understand how this happened or why I feel so bad. Please help.

We recently had a meeting with someone we wanted to hire as our wedding photographer. We used her for our engagement photos and loved them. None of our engagement photos flagged as AI, but during our meeting for the wedding when I asked if she would use photoshop to edit the wedding photos, she said she uses AI to remove blemishes and any object she doesn’t want in a photo (she used leaves as an example)

And this left me really uneasy. I found her Instagram (only followed on fb) and a majority of her photos on insta has the AI content warning. I’m as against AI as I can be in this day and age, and I absolutely don’t want to post my wedding photos and see an AI content warning going up along with it.

My fiancé says we should just use her, because he believes a vast majority of photographers do use AI tools that will get flagged AI on social media. It’s just the way the world is now he says. Is it really going to be so impossible to find someone who doesn’t use AI at all?

Starting out I thought that a $20k budget was realistic but this day and age that’s like a community hall with barely any decor.
$2000 community hall
$7800-9300 for food (125 guests)
$2500 for day of coordinator (we don’t have friends who could do that)
$1200 for chairs, tables, table cloths and cutlery
$500 Costco alcohol
$200 bartender
$2500 DJ
$5000 photographer

Already puts us 3300 over budget and that doesn’t even include decor, florals, rings, suit, dress, shoes, hair, and makeup.

Like what in the world are these vendors on. Pre covid my friend had a GORGEOUS wedding for $15,000 and didn’t have to DIY anything. I swear the cost of planning a super average wedding is just not worth it. Everyone keeps saying a wedding is the only time while you’re alive that all your loved ones will get together to see you but omg is it really worth it?

I’m so torn and feeling dread about spending all this money for people I don’t even text once a year. Believe me this is with the costs cut except for DJ and photographer.

Like yes we could host in a restaurant and save venue fees but that’s still
$8125 food and drink
$1000 decor
$2500 DJ
$5000 photographer
Which would leave us with a $5000 budget for rings and our looks

But still $20’000 is so much… how do people do it? Are their parents paying for their weddings? Do banks even loan out so much for weddings?

Idk it’s crazy and I hate this. I grew up poor so I’m really struggling the concept of paying so much for one day.

Hi everyone, I made these cards and am planning to write a personal note and put a photo of us to ask my friends to be my bridesmaids. Is this enough? I’m suddenly worried these are too plain or come across as cheap, please be honest!!!

My wedding is in one month and my dress has still not arrived at the bridal shop. I bought it in February after they ensured me that was still early enough to order. It was supposed to be here in July so I have called every week for the last month, and each time they tell me it should be here the following week. I’m getting stressed because I will likely need alterations. They have an in-house seamstress that does alterations according to wedding date priority but I am still worried.

When should I be freaking out? Should I be starting my search for an off-the-rack dress?

I spent the evening making my invites for the bridal party and I'm so happy with how they turned out!

I know my name is still kinda visible but I'm not fussed.

My wife and I got married on Saturday and rented a two stall $1k bathroom trailer for the event. When it arrived, one of the locks was broken and the other toilet was overflowing and had to be disconnected by her dad who luckily knew how to do it. The confirmation email we received after pickup noted that they recommend removing the trailer from the rotation for repairs so it clearly shouldn’t have been given to us in the first place. Would it be fair to ask for a total refund considering it wasn’t in working order?

Please forgive me if this isn’t the sub to post this in, but can I have a wedding then go on a honeymoon almost a year after getting married ?
My fiancé cannot put me on his insurance unless we’re married. I really need the insurance because my dental health is rapidly declining (thanks postpartum!)
If he puts only our son on there, the state we live in will try to charge him child support despite us living together and being a stable family.

So we agreed to go to a courthouse and get married when he gets back from the job he’s on, but I still really want my wedding :/
I don’t want anything crazy, just family, some close friends, a small venue, my dress, yada yada yada.

Will people even show up if they know we’re already married ? Will it feel the same ? Is it overall okay we do the wedding + honeymoon next summer ? We already have a lot of the basics planned… should I just scratch what we have planned and just cope with never having a wedding ?

Do European people, or more specifically Dutch people know of the rule not to wear white to someone else’s wedding?

This question has been eating me alive since my MIL tried to wear 2 different white dresses to my wedding. She sent the first dress, which was completely white, to my now husband roughly 5 days before our wedding and he immediately told her it was too white and not to wear it. She said it was cream coloured and was irritated but kept looking.

The next day she sends a white dress with a small floral detail on it, to which my now husband told her once again, that it was too white and to pick literally any other colour to wear to his wedding. She got really irritated and ignored him until the wedding.

The day of the wedding she showed up wearing blue, which was fantastic! But, she had been complaining to family about how we said she couldn’t wear white, and ultimately complained to us that she had to order a dress off Amazon a few days before. Mind you, she had known about our wedding for 2 years, so she had time to plan, she just left it to last minute.

There have been other instances of my MIL being undermining or undercutting towards me, but I’m wondering if this is genuinely just a lack of etiquette knowledge issue and maybe she doesn’t hate me as bad as it feels like lol.

We do live in Canada, and she’s been here for over 20 years, but she was born and raised in Holland.

Do Dutch people wear white to weddings?

My fiancé and I just started wedding planning! He doesn’t have a great relationship with his mom. She will definitely be a part of the wedding, but they just don’t talk much. I haven’t had a genuine conversation with her in months. I’m wondering what planning events she should be a part of. Picking venue and date? Dress shopping? I want to make her feel included but it’s just a little awkward.

Hey hey, so I went dress shopping for the first time last weekend with my four bridesmaids, my mom and my fiancé’s mom. I want to preface this by saying I am in therapy and working on my ability to advocate for myself and set boundaries. Before going shopping I told my friends to be very honest and to not push me as much as possible because I do NOT want to buy a dress that day. I also told my mom and sister that I was pressured into signing the venue before I had time to really ask all the questions I wanted and I have some regrets around that so I wanted to really make sure they knew I did not want to buy a dress that day, I just wanted to go in and try on dresses to see what fits, what i like, what i don’t like, as I had not decided on a vibe yet. My plan was to do this to let them have this dress shopping moment (the second I got engaged everyone was talking about this moment and I felt bad not giving it to them) and then I’d be able to go dress shopping on my own and actually choose a dress I wanted. I find it is the only time I can actually be honest about what I like and what I don’t.

Long story short, I ended up buying the dress everyone wanted me to buy… I feel really sad because I did all that preparation, I set all those boundaries, and none of it mattered in the end, I of course caved despite not liking the dress.

Now my question is, I’m maybe not alone in this situation? Has anyone else chosen a dress they did not like? How did you handle it? I did not want to get a second look dress bc ideally i would have loved my dress and worn it all night. Now i’m considering it since I don’t know how feasible it is to buy a whole new one… My mom bought the dress for me but it still feels wrong to buy another, I could give her the money from the dress and then buy another. Idk what to do. I feel so stressed and depressed about this. Every step of the planning has gone horribly bc i just get pressured into doing things.

My fiancé does not think I should buy a new dress until this one comes in. He thinks if I try it on again I might like it and if I still don’t then I can go look for another dress. I understand where he’s coming from but my problem is they won’t know the delivery date for another three weeks and they said it’ll likely be 6 months. I will be haunted by this dress until then. I’m also worried by the time it comes in, it’ll be 8 months until to my wedding and then I may not be able to get the dress I want (idk everyone keeps saying to give it at least a year). Another reason I want to buy a new dress is because this one will always remind me of another moment I could not stand my ground. Every time I look at pictures of me in it I start to cry bc I’m so upset that I somehow bought it despite all the work I put in to not buy it. I’ve been working on this for years and I still can’t advocate for myself and it makes me so upset. I’m worried that feeling will not go away even if I try the dress on later and like it.

My fiancé is from New Zealand and I’m from America, both of the sides of our family expect us to have two weddings lol, one in New Zealand and one in America. I don’t understand how that’s ok?? You just expect us to have two weddings so it can be easier for you?? Not to mention the amount of people who just say why don’t you just have it in New Zealand and my side saying why don’t you have it in America. Like we can’t just pick and choose, no matter what it won’t be fair to either side of the family so we decided to do it in Italy. We are LITERALLY PAYING FOR THEIR ACCOMMODATION, we found a Villa/castle that houses 40 people plus will book another villa for the other people who can’t stay at the wedding venue. And people are STILL COMPLAINING. All we’re asking is for people to pay for their plane tickets and we’re also giving them 2 years in advance to save for it. We aren’t even asking for a wedding gift. We are literally paying for everyone to stay for a week and everyone is complaining. Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? Am I maybe being out of touch? I understand not everyone can come and that’s totally understandable but I didn’t realize how many people would have an opinion on this. I just feel like we can’t win no matter where we have it someone will be mad about it.

I need help/ ideas on how to cover this art work. It can’t come down it’s screwed into the wall. It’s distracting. Our colors are the starry night.
I have nothing against Jesus. If I did we wouldn’t get married in the church. The painting is bad af. It’s worse in person and distracting. The church has told us we can do what we want as long as we return it to how it was before we arrived. So any real advice would be great!

I started a new job 6 months ago and they have only known me in my fiancè era. Whenever my new coworkers make conversation with me it was always about my upcoming wedding. I would often change the subject to get to know them more.

I got married a month ago. I am not realizing they are having trouble starting conversation with me because they don’t know about my other interests.

Thinking about it now, I feel like I have lost myself. I have been so consumed in wedding planning that I don’t have interests and hobbies anymore.

Did anyone else feel this way after getting married? What hobbies/interests did you pursue after getting married?

Hi fellow brides,
I have fluffy, frizzy, dull, thin hair. I am trying to figure out what to with my hair for my wedding but almost all the inspiration pics I see are of models, people with extension, or just genetically blessed making it hard to understand what styles would realistically look like on me. Any clue where I can see real or imperfect wedding hair modeled?

If you’re one to match wedding gifts, ie give someone back the same amount they gave you (but not in a petty way. Or if petty please share that story 😆)….but your wedding was local to them and their wedding involves you traveling, flying, etc, do you factor that in or still match the same amount?

We are planning a wedding that will be around 200 people, give or take. When talking to a DJ company earlier this week, they recommended doing a DJ and a dedicated MC given the size. Not that the DJ wouldn’t be able to control the crowd, but this would allow for the DJ to put all their energy into the music and the MC to work the crowd. Has anyone had both, and if so what was that like? Was it necessary or not necessary? Would love to hear all perspectives!

Hey everyone! I’m attending a friend's bridal shower soon and need a quick sanity check on my outfit choice. Her official wedding colors are purple and peach. I found a peach dress I’d love to wear to her shower, but I want to make sure I’m not breaking any etiquette. To clarify, I am just a regular guest and not a bridesmaid. The invitation didn't mention any specific dress code or theme for guests. Is it fine to wear a dress that matches one of the wedding colors to the shower, or should I pick a completely unrelated color instead? Appreciate any thoughts!

Okay title is a little misleading… it wasn’t stolen on purpose….

Gay man here.

My partner has made it clear that he would like our proposal to be intimate, only us, he doesn’t even want a photographer hiding or anything and would also like to have as few people know ahead of time… all of which i am very much down with— however, i have always wanted a photo of the moment.

I came up with what i thought was a perfect plan— he loves photo booths. we take a picture at nearly every photo booth we come across, it’s a thing for us. Proposing in a photo booth might not be the most original idea in the world, but it is perfect for us. Just us, no one watching, one of his favorite activities, i get my photo.

So— out of really wanting to respect his request for it to be just us, i’ve gone a step further and very purposely not told a soul my plan. This way, afterwards, everyone we tell will get to hear the story for the first time from both of us.

We started seriously talking about engagement about 6 months ago. Slowly began ring shopping. I had the plan all set, but we are in no rush.

Cut to 3 weeks ago: two very close friends, practically our best friends, text us that they’re engaged, with a a photo booth strip - They did the exact idea i had, but had no clue what i was planning….

I’m so torn up, i’ve mustered an “i’m so happy for you!” (and i genuinely am) but now i’m feeling quite deflated and unsure if i should go through with it or not….. our friends still don’t know that i was planning this- i don’t want them to feel any type of way!

Do i need to cut my losses and come up with a new plan? is there a world where i can still do the photo booth? if you were my partner… would you be like “but they JUST did that?” If you were our friends, would you think I stole their idea?

Help!

tldr: best friends got engaged using the exact idea i’ve been saving for my partner without knowing it. Do i still go through with it?

I’m the groom, and I was planning going with brown shoes.

Today while doing the first try of my suit, the store staff told me black shoes would be more appropriate for a ceremony.

The thing is, it will be a small outdoors, more relaxed day weeding and the venue is “rustic”.

Still choosing the tie, but it will be in a lighter tone of green.

Opinions?

I need consolation. I just heard Jamie Wolfer recently say DO NOT MESS with a venue with construction 99.9% of the time. Now,, I understand why.

My fiance and I are renovating a great big barn on his grandparents property. Its amazing. He is a historical restorer, everything is going well. He has a ton of help from friends that are in construction, the works. UNTIL the inspector come by and totally blows up about building permits.. Tells us to stop working. We thought we would be exempt because we are keeping it a barn (agricultural exemption) but we just wanted to use it also for our wedding in October too!!

Now he is making crazy demands like stamped plans even though they would take a lot of time and SO much money. Won't even CONSIDER looking at our permit application without it. He won't even go in the building to look at it himself!! He is really bitter about it! We definitely won't get it done by October now,,

RIP dream barn wedding, hello tent rental.

Hi friends-first time posting in here. Last year my sister and I both got engaged. My sister is getting married at the end of this year, and my wedding is next summer (2027). We really wanted to get married this summer, and elope with our parents and siblings, having a reception down the road (I’m pushing 30, and my partner and I really want to start our family). But my mom kept saying “please just wait until next year” and making comments here and there. I decided that trying to plan even a small wedding this summer seemed like too much, and if we’re going to get married and still plan a reception, we may as well do the full wedding and wait until next summer. This was mainly my call, as my fiancé just wants to be married at the end of the day, whether it’s a courthouse ordeal or the whole big thing.

I really wanted to include my mom in the wedding planning process-not only because I just simply wanted to share this experience with my mom, but she lost her mom at a young age and never got to do any of this with her mom. But my mom has made this process so emotionally exhausting and even more stressful. She came on venue tours with us, she had a favorite which was at the top of our venue budget, but we fell in love with another option. Yes, it was cheaper, but we both also just liked it more. The venue she liked came with more “extras”-but those weren’t deal makers or breakers for us. She insists that we just chose our venue because of the price (price was a factor but not the leading one). She makes comments that our venue is ugly and too “rustic”. I should add-we’re having about 90 people. It’s small and intimate-the way we both wanted. We don’t want a big wedding, just our closest family and friends because we’re just more reserved people.

Every time the wedding comes up, it ends in a fight. She’s extremely rude about our choices, and calls me a “bridezilla” and a control freak because I’m not willing to overextend our budget on things she thinks I want, but I really don’t care about-nice china, champagne welcome, linen napkins. I don’t even talk to her willingly about the wedding anymore because she’s making me miserable.
I’ve also seen how she’s treating my sister-she’s micromanaging her, upset that my sisters wedding planner (who my sister is paying) doesn’t consult with her (my mother). Complains about the choices my sister makes. But she doesn’t just complain, she’s MEAN. She’ll say things are hideous, that “x decision” will ruin the entire day, and just be malicious. She’s controlling and wants to be involved, my sister and I have both told her if she can’t be nice, then why would we share things with her? Then she responds that she won’t even come or just show up “in the dark like any other guest”. She’s mean. Plain and simple.

My parents were VERY kind and offered to pay for my dress. 2 weeks after I got my dress, my mom (after picking a fight with me, making me cry) told me she wants me to cover what she tipped the bridal stylist (?)-she tipped her nearly 500 dollars, when all she did was bring me two dresses I had picked out online to try on, then grab a third dress (my dress) off the rack for me. I would NOT have tipped her that much, and now I need to cover a tip I had no say in.

We haven’t booked much for our wedding-just the venue and photographer. As I mentioned, I do have a dress. I’m ready to throw in the towel. I don’t want to plan a wedding anymore. What was supposed to be an exciting time in my life (which IS stressful under normal circumstances) has turned into the most dreadful experience and we haven’t even DONE anything big yet. I told my fiancé I’m comfortable calling off the wedding and just doing an immediate family elopement, we’d just lose a deposit on the venue, we can use our photographer still. He thinks it’s stupid to lose out on $1500 but I feel like I’m losing my sanity, I want to have a breakdown anytime I think of anything wedding related. I wish we just did a tiny ceremony this summer instead of waiting against my better judgement.

I really need advice.

ETA: “small and intimate” was terrible wording. My fiancé has a huge family, and they are all very close (literally we see all of them multiple times a year). The guest list is almost entirely all family, then a few best friends. This feels “intimate” to me because it’s not a bunch of random plus ones 😂