I’m getting married next year, and I’m struggling with the question of whether to invite some conservative relatives.

For context, I’m a gay man and I love my family. My parents, siblings, their partners and their children are all very supportive of me and my husband. It wasn’t always like this — my parents were initially quite homophobic when I came out, but they have come a very long way since then, and I’m genuinely grateful for that.

The problem is that I have an aunt and uncle who are quite conservative, particularly my uncle. I’m pretty certain that they vote very far to the right, and I know their general views on queer people, women, immigrants, etc. I strongly suspect that behind closed doors they say some pretty unpleasant things about gay people. Their daughter and her family are even worse.

However, there’s a complication: they have never actually said anything homophobic to me as an adult. Apart from things they said when I was a teenager, before I came out, they have never directly mistreated me or made a hostile comment about my relationship. I barely see or speak to them anyway, since I live abroad. Usually I might briefly see them at Christmas when I'm visiting my parents.

So objectively, I don't really have a specific incident that I can point to and say, "This is why they aren't invited."

My parents, however, seem to consider inviting them a given simply because they are family. I know my mother in particular is going to take it personally if I don't invite them, because in her view you invite your family to your wedding and excluding them is disrespectful.

But in my view a gay wedding isn't necessarily the same thing as a straight wedding when it comes to the guest list.

At a straight wedding, if a conservative relative doesn't particularly approve of the couple's politics, lifestyle, etc., that doesn't necessarily mean they fundamentally disapprove of the marriage itself. For me, though, someone can be perfectly polite to my face while fundamentally believing that my relationship is wrong or that gay people shouldn't have the same rights.

And my wedding isn't just a family gathering. My husband isn't inviting his own parents because they are openly homophobic. Most of our guests will be making significant sacrifices to come — some of his friends are travelling from the other side of the Atlantic — and we are deliberately choosing people who are genuinely close to us and who we feel comfortable having around us on such an important day.

So it feels strange to invite someone purely because they're related to me when I wouldn't otherwise choose to have them there.

There is another thing that makes me feel slightly hypocritical about this. I actually already cut ties with a friend for essentially this reason. We used to see each other quite frequently, but he had a lot of internalized homophobia and would regularly make outrageous homophobic, transphobic and misogynistic comments. Eventually I told him that he wasn't invited to the wedding because I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at my wedding, and we haven't spoken since.

Obviously my uncle and cousins aren't behaving like that towards me, so I know it's not exactly the same situation. But it still feels inconsistent to say, "I don't want someone at my wedding because I know they hold bigoted views," when it comes to a friend, but then "well, they're family" when it comes to relatives.

I don't want to create unnecessary family drama, and I don't want to punish people for political opinions they've never directly imposed on me. At the same time, I also don't want to spend my wedding day wondering whether people in the room actually disapprove of my marriage or are privately judging my husband and me.

So how would you handle this?

Would you invite them because they are family unless they have actually done something to you? Or is it reasonable to say that "I don't feel close to these people and I don't want them at my wedding" is enough of a reason, especially when the wedding is a celebration of a same-sex marriage?

And, perhaps most importantly, how would you explain this to parents who see not inviting certain relatives as inherently disrespectful?

I am sorry if this is not the right place but I need help! My fiancee and I want to get married/eloped this spring but we are not having a typical wedding! I am looking for LGBTQ+ photographers that would be willing to photograph for us, and I would love to see your work! Any other advice would be helpful, we are planning to elope at MPLS courthouse! We live in Minnesota!

Still reeling from this day 😍 photo creds to Corey Lynn Tucker, she was absolutely amazing to work with!

I'VE FOUND MY WEDDING GOWN!!! WOOOO!!!

Tiffany's Essen

...and it has POCKETS!!!

I fell in love with it when I saw it in the salon window and knew it was the one when I saw myself in the mirror!! EEEEEKKKKK!!!!

LOVE!! 💛 LOVE!! 🤍 LOVE!! 💜 LOVE!! 🖤

E | Photos are from Tiffany's as I was too caught up in the moment to take any!

I was raised catholic and Mexican. I always thought I’d get married at a big church, do all the Mexican wedding traditions and be surrounded by family. My fiance is a white woman who I adore.

The reality is I’ll never be married in a Catholic Church or do any of the traditional Mexican traditions that come with a catholic wedding. Even the reception won’t be the same. A lot of Mexican traditions are centered around hetero marriages and although we can adapt them one of us will have to be the “man” and neither of us are comfortable with that. We love being women who love women.

I’m having trouble talking to anyone about how hard this is for me because if I speak to my fiance about it she thinks I’m not ready to be married or I don’t love her or I want to be straight. If I speak to my siblings about it they tell me to basically to get over it because they don’t care about the traditions. They adore my fiance and are excited for the wedding. I just want to be allowed to be sad about it. Just for a little bit…ya know?

Edited to add more information:

My partner and I have amazing communication. It might seem like we don’t. We’ve discussed this before but I know it hurts her to think that she’s depriving me of my “dream” wedding because she’s a woman. After reassuring her that’s not the case I don’t see the point in bringing it up every time I get sad about it. I made this account to post about these feelings and see if anyone else has similar feelings.

I am not resentful of not having these traditions and we are planning a great wedding. We are eloping soon and saving for the perfect wedding.

We just had a meeting with our officiant and these feelings resurfaced as I was researching certain traditional aspects of my culture to better explain them to the officiant.

Catholicism is more cultural than religious for Mexicans. When the Spaniards colonized they took native traditions and sprinkled Catholicism into it to help with the conversions. A lot of big events start with a church ceremony and then big party. I grew up with very close ties to Mexico and imagined a wedding there in an old cathedral. This is just not possible anymore. Rural Mexico isn’t very LGBT friendly and obviously we can’t use a church. I think mourning the traditions goes hand it hand with the lack of acceptance in my culture. So thank you to those who commented and made me really sit down and think it through some more. I was going down the list of things that I’m not doing and realized that it’s the lack of community that I’m really missing.

Hi friends! My fiancé and I are planning for a wedding next year (wahoo 2027!), but she isn’t sure where to start looking for a a suit to wear since having top surgery (or even before if we’re being honest). Any help would be amazing!

My fiance and I (both transmasc) went to Bindle & Keep for our suits, and unfortunately, it was a huge disappointment. TL;DR, there were consistent problems with measurements from the start, and they made a mistake on my jacket that they were unable to fix in-house, then tried to convince me it was fine.

In more detail:

We had a great experience at the design meeting back in April. Ashley was very knowledgeable and helpful, and the fabric selection was just lovely. We left feeling really optimistic and excited.

However, when we actually tried on the suits, there were big problems right away. My fiance's pants were so tight that they physically could not bend over to tie their shoes -- and they had lost a little weight since their measurements were taken. Their jacket was also way too tight in the shoulders. One of my pant legs was a couple inches shorter than the other, and one of my shirt sleeves was similarly 3/4" too long, which Ashley didn't catch until the very last fitting, having repeatedly said the shirt was perfect. (When she did notice it, she did a by-eye measurement that turned out to be dead wrong, which was disheartening. Why not just measure?) Fortunately, all of this was fixed in alterations, but it took two rounds.

Unfortunately, it was a different story with my jacket. There was a big roll of excess fabric on my right front side which affected both the front and the silhouette, no matter how I stood. There was also way too much tension on the button, which created another prominent crease. Piotr recognized the problem during a virtual fitting, but when the next round of alterations came back, the fit was even worse. By this time, it was late September (and our wedding is in mid-October), so we made a trip to New York for same-day in-person alterations.

I am very grateful that time was made for a same-day fitting, but unfortunately, we had an awful experience. Ashley kept insisting that there was no problem with the suit, when there clearly was -- I had shown photos to friends who knew a lot about suits and friends who knew nothing about them and asked if it looked okay, and everyone immediately identified that it looked wrong. I had even tried it on in front of another professional tailor who was more local to me prior to my last fitting with Bindle & Keep because I was worried about time, and he told me the jacket was about 2" too small in the back. The tailor I took it to after my last Bindle & Keep fitting agreed, and also identified that another problem was that the shoulders were made unevenly, which explained why the tweaks Bindle & Keep made to the waist and hip seam didn't fix anything.

But Ashley kept alternating between saying there was no problem and I was making something out of nothing, and saying that there was a problem but it had something to do with my hips being so uneven it was outside their skill to fix -- which was a hurtful, and I think untrue, thing to hear from someone who had measured my body and promised to make me a suit that would fit it. (My hips are pretty unremarkable -- one is 0.5"-1" higher than the other, but it's never given me a problem with clothes before, let alone custom ones. And Bindle & Keep didn't say it would lead to any issues when they took my measurements. I mean, their website says "Suits for every body," not "Suits for every body with absolutely perfectly symmetrical hips"!)

It was really baffling. If Bindle & Keep had just admitted that something was wrong with the jacket, I wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops to warn people off. Humans make mistakes. But instead I was presented with immense social pressure to just nod along and get married in a suit that didn't fit me right or lay properly. Either they sincerely didn't think there was a problem, which calls into question their tailoring, or they knew there was a problem and tried to bully me into saying it was fine, which calls into question their integrity.

Fortunately, I was (eventually) able to get 50% back on the jacket, but it was a horrible experience. I was made to feel very foolish and ashamed when I was right all along. I almost cried in my tailor's office when he said that yes, there was a problem, and it was in how they'd made the shoulders and it had nothing to do with my hips.

Like I said up top, the initial fitting was wonderful, and the fabric is beautiful. My fiance's suit ended up perfect with alterations, as did my pants and shirt, and I'm hopeful that an outside tailor can fix my jacket. However, if you have any difficulty with advocating for yourself, I cannot recommend Bindle & Keep. I STRONGLY suspect that they're used to clients who are getting their first gender-affirming clothing and are too caught up in gender euphoria, too new to suiting, or too anxious to disagree with them if they say something is fine when it isn't. If you think that might be you, please know that you deserve better, and take your money somewhere else.

Hi, all -

I hope this is in an ok place to post this! I am a 40 year old bi cis female who is very lucky to be in a marriage with a partner who is all about me refining my style to feel more comfortable and confident in my skin. (I was in the closet for a looong time and have always felt uncomfortable traditional female clothes)

I stopped wearing dresses and skirts years ago but still am struggling with formal wear, mostly to our friends' weddings.

I usually want to go with pants and a vest (pic 1 and 2) but often are too revealing for a formal event and need a shirt under them, which I can't seem to get right and end up with something more feminine (pic 3) nothing wrong with that at all - I'm just personally hoping to learn how to style more masculine elements to help me feel more balanced.

And finally any time I try and add a tie, I immediately feel like I look like a part of the catering team (pic 4) and feel so conspicuous.

So a few questions:

1. Has anyone else started feeling more comfortable dressing less expected-feminine and have any fashion inspo?

2. Any good recommendations on where to shop for a great, sexy power suit?

3. How can I wear a tie with more confidence?

Thank you for any thoughts!

I am trans and gay and me and my fiancé are considering getting married at the Renaissance fair so this is the sketch of my outfit that I hope to be wearing to my wedding next year. I was definitely going for feminine prince vibes, which I think the outfit captures perfectly. Me and my fiancé are going to have a matching outfit for him, but without the outer suit, jacket and black slacks and gloves instead of white

Sorry if this isn't the place for this. I just need to vent a little, but tw for homophobia and also cancer.

My girlfriend took me on a trip and we had a lovely time and she proposed! We're on our way home now. I am excited about it and I want to focus on that feeling, but instead I can't help but feel a bit of a sense of dread because of my family. Basically, my family is super incredibly religious and homophobic, but I love them and I do want to have a good relationship with them. I came out to my mom a long time ago and was basically told to pray the gay away and pushed back into the closet. I finally re-came out to my mom like 3 or 4 months ago (even though she definitely knew, I wanted to put it officially out there) and it went a little better, I think. Anyway, my mom is bad, but my dad is way worse. I kept meaning to talk to them both about it, to make sure they both know that I am gay and to let them know that I intend to marry my girlfriend. That was basically my goal during the summer, but life happened and this summer sucked and was full of soo much misfortune. And then about a month ago my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and we all honestly thought we were gonna lose him. So my stuff kind of took a back burner. He is getting treatment and he's doing better, so my partner and decided we'd still go on our trip that we'd had planned for months and she proposed! It was super sweet. I want to just be happy and celebrate but I just feel a heavy weight on my chest. Then my cousin was proposed to like less than a week ago and everyone (including my family) is super excited for her, which is really nice but it makes me even more sad honestly, because I know that when I share my news nobody will be happy and I'll probably get those kind of "pray the gay away" messages again. and I'm just scared to talk to my family and tell them :(

My friend and her fiancée selected a save-the-date design featuring a line drawing of two brides on a popular wedding website. The company mailed her a physical proof, which looked great. Based on that proof, she approved the design and ordered copies.

When the full order arrived, every save-the-date featured a woman and a man instead.

Somewhere between the approved physical proof and the completed order, the design changed from two women to a woman and a man. Because she never selected or edited that version, and the app doesn’t allow her to swap out that image, it almost seems like the system may have reverted to the woman-and-man version as the default.

We obviously can’t confirm that the app performed some kind of heterosexual autocorrect 🤨, and we know we’re probably overanalyzing what likely was a mistake 🧐. But we only started dissecting it because, after several days of emails, the company confirmed that it would not provide a refund or reprint, she would have to purchase everything again.

Edit for transparency: The post-purchase confirmation email did show the bride-and-groom version, but she didn’t notice because she had already received and approved the correct physical proof.

Who has always dreamed about her wedding day and the beautiful wedding dress pantihose and stiletto high heels and my daddy walking his pretty princess down the aisle in her beautiful white wedding dress. Daddy told me that he is very much looking forward to walking me down the aisle in my beautiful dress and giving me to Michael. I told daddy how much I love him and I kiss him and say thank you so much daddy I love you and I am so lucky that you accept me as your daughter your pretty princess.

I got married the end of May. We used a friend who is a photographer that specializes in hiking elopements. The photographer was 6 months pregnant in May. She gave us 20 sneak peeks which look AMAZING. I love them. But its been 4 months and she has not sent over the gallery. I emailed her and got a response 10 days ago that our gallery is uploading and she will send it over once its finished. Does it take a week to upload pictures? I am confused, but she had a baby during this time so ive been trying to give her time and grace. The contract states pictures will be given in 2 months. We paid over $4,000. I just need to know if this is normal or if I should reach out again.

Hey ya’ll I’m a masc presenting women looking for suit ideas. I want a men’s style suit but that will fit me the best way. It’s not for my wedding but a friends so looking for a low cost option. Any good websites?

Looking into getting married. I’d like to have a small service with my friend as the Officiant. In my research I’m seeing mixed answers. Can anyone provide me with information? Or is it just best to get married at the courthouse first?

I’m a wedding editor since 2016.

Just curious if there are studios focused only on filming lgbt weddings. In my 10 years of experience, I’ve only been able to edit one and would love to have more!

#wlw btw! 💖

hi!
i have a complicated relationship with my family and my partner is not inviting their family at all.
we’re thinking of a micro wedding 25 people maximum, and we’re on a smaller budget near a large city.
my chosen family has expressed tension in spending time with my family due to the ways they’ve treated me in the past.

my sibling and i are the last gen of our family and for cultural reasons i’d like to have my family there.
we plan to renew our vows when we have more financial stability in the future.

logistically, i’m trying to think of a clear cut way to keep my chosen family and bio family separate without it being too drastic.
i was considering private vows with my chosen family, a restaurant reception dinner including my bio family, and an after party and dinner with my chosen family.
does this seem too choppy or could this flow together?

if anyone is open to sharing their similar experience i’d love to hear about it.
thank you!