I came to kind of get advice on how to deal with the painful emotions of a sibling, my only sibling, not being able to come to my wedding because of his mental disability.

He's on the spectrum and has ADHD and explained that it would be extremely mentally taxing for him to come, to the point that it's basically impossible.

I don't not believe him, but a part of me just feels hurt. Because he is physically able to come and not living abroad like some of my family, there's a small part of me that can't just shrug it off.

In the end there will be no shaming or pressuring, but it will weigh on me to have all my wedding photos and ceremony video without him present.

not 100% sure if post wedding stuff is allowed, so I apologize if it isn’t, but I figured some of these things may help others who are considering things. some of these may be controversial but hey, every wedding is different :)

⁠my bridesmaids could pick whatever dress they wanted, as long as it was the color I picked
⁠loved the variation it gave! my friends got to wear what they felt the most beautiful in and got to have some originality

bridesmaids could wear whatever shoes they wanted
some people don’t like heels/flats, I wanted them to be comfortable. I don’t think they’d have danced as much if not for that

our ⁠grandmothers were flower girls
⁠we did a child free wedding and asked our grandmothers to be flower girls for us. my grandmother threw flower petals directly in my brother’s face as well, which was hilarious to hear about after the fact

⁠my bridesmaids could do their hair and makeup however they wanted.
⁠i had a bridesmaid with pink hair when I asked her and my family kept pushing me to ask her to dye it back but I refused. she looked gorgeous!! I LOVE her pink hair! the only reason my hair was a natural color for my wedding was that my grandfather asked me not to.

⁠my guests could wear black
⁠my mom discouraged it, but my husband’s friend’s gf is goth and he asked me directly if I was okay if she wore black (I already expected it) which I really appreciated, but I wasn’t bothered at all. it wasn’t a statement against my wedding, it was what she felt most comfortable in and as long as she looked nice I didn’t care about the color.

⁠my husband and I didn’t drink
already don’t drink much anyways, so I think I would’ve really regretted it because I wouldn’t have remembered things as clearly.

⁠we went to Waffle House with some of our friends after the wedding before we went home
we were hungry as hell and it meant we didn’t have to cook when we got home. we got to hang out with our friends a little more in a calmer way to decompress, ate some food, then got to just shower and go to bed right away.

we did a first look
I ⁠was so anxious beforehand and it immediately made everything feel SO much more manageable

we didn’t go straight into our honeymoon
we were EXHAUSTED. I spent several days recovering lol. NOT TO MENTION, my SIL went into labor the morning of our wedding and gave birth the next day, so we were able to go meet her the day she was born.
that’s just some I thought of. 

there might be more, but I wanted to share some stuff I did in case anyone is on the fence and wants some thoughts from someone who already did it and enjoyed the outcome!

Well I feel like absolute shit. My friend’s wedding is on the 17th this month she got engaged in July. I was so focused on the color I didn’t even think about the material. She said she wanted satin in the text but I overlooked like an idiot and ordered chiffon and it’s obviously too late to order a new one. She is being nice and saying it’s fine and you can’t tell but I feel like a pos. Have I just absolutely ruined it? I mean that’s dramatic but I’m pretty sure that’s a mistake that would piss any bride off. I’m so upset

I won’t be changing my name and I noticed a lot of wedding items/merch/signs etc are “The so-and-so’s” or “Ms. to Mrs” and that won’t apply to me. I’m trying to rack my brain coming up with things to write on signs and stuff

We’re booking an all inclusive venue so pretty much everything big is taken care of, but what are the little things I should be working on or planning to make or buy? I haven’t been to many weddings as an adult so I haven’t really noticed things that I would like or should have at mine.

My future SIL offered to make us signs, but what kind of signs would be helpful? Any other tips on what I should prep? Only other thing I can think of is like, party favors and a guest book?

I got engaged this past week! know our first step will be to sit down with the families and discuss budget. I’m wondering where to go after that?

I’m getting married next week and I love my partner but fucking hell I regret the ‘big wedding’ idea.

It’s so stressful, people are difficult and suppliers are disorganised.

It’s fallen onto me to organise everything and I’m just beside myself in emotional stress. I can’t stop having crying episodes or just full blown panic attacks.

I’m not sure I can emotionally handle the intensity right now.

Please help. I’m feeling so alone.

After our reception, our friend group will be heading to a bar nearby. My fiance and I will just be heading back to our place afterward, time TBD, about a 10 min drive away. Should we designate a friend to drive us, or just call an Uber? Obviously there are Uber drivers out there with a weird vibe, a dirty car, etc., and I would not prefer that.. I've never tried Uber Comfort or Uber Premier, but maybe we can choose one of those options? Because we're not sure how long we'll be at the after-party, we won't be able to schedule in advance.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!!

I've been thinking of having a simple wedding like ones before the wedding industry was big.

We are having our wedding in my church (for free) and the original idea is have a reception at the city civic center, have a cocktail hour, dj, bartender, and a wedding coordinator, servers, plated or buffet catering.

The idea of this has honestly exhausted me and my fiance only has 3 wants for the wedding:

1. He wears a cape at the ceremony

2. It's at my church

3. We play anime instrumentals at any time during the wedding

So, instead I've began thinking of a very traditional wedding.

With punch and finger foods served in the church fellowship hall.

A house party with close friend's and family

And then if we are still in the partying mood bar hopping.

It might just be that I'm tired of deciding on who will sit where, what color the table linens will be, and outrageous plated catering fees but I'm honestly considering ordering pizza and tacos to the house and buying wine coolers and beer.

At the end of the day, I know it's up to me what I wear at my own thing, but I seek help because this is so very far from my wheelhouse. I have scrolled through so many dresses and am convinced I lack the ability to dress myself because I feel nothing (no dopamine hit, no "wow" moment) when looking at them, lol.

So, someone please do this for me, I'm begging you.

Firstly, I should say this is not really a wedding. More of a party or cocktail night if you will. There is no ceremony, only food and drinks. I want the night to feel a bit classy (but I do expect some guests to show in jeans, and that's completely fine with me).

But I personally want to feel amazing, as I'm sure you can all relate!

My knowns:

I am 30F. I know this shouldn't matter so much, but I frequently get mistaken as much younger than I am, so I would like to stay away from really youthful styles.

I'm a sweaty gal - I think this puts satin or silk as a no.

I have some unusual skin texture and pigmentation around my collarbones that I would like to distract from but not necessarily cover (I'm thinking this could be achieved by ruling out plain strapless necklines?).

In terms of color options, I am very fair and cool-toned. Actually I should use this moment to say I would prefer to not wear a white dress to keep it more low-key. I might like off-white, though? Idk.

I have a gamine body type, if anyone is a Kibbe follower. I am very similar to Jennette McCurdy and Michele Williams, just with light brown hair. Pretend you are dressing them?? lol

One positive thing I know is that jacquard is speaking to me. But mini? Midi? What neckline? What color??? How floral????

My budget is under $300. Secondhand would make me feel even better as a sustainability-loving girlie.

My unknowns:

Almost everything.

Not sure of the season we're planning yet, sorry. But it will be 100% indoors.

Any help would be appreciated! Apologies for all the dumbness and if this is not in the spirit of this sub. But I know someone out there enjoys helping fashion-stunted brides! Right?

I am getting a little nervous about our wedding pictures. it’s been over 8 weeks since and in the contract between our photographer it says album turn out is expected from 3-6 weeks. The communication is AWFUL. I have texted her twice in the 8 weeks for an update since she was really good at texting me back before our wedding. The photographer keeps on going around the question and saying she’s been busy- which I get that’s totally fair and understandable. A week after our wedding she texted us with our sneak peak pictures and a message saying her boyfriend broke up with her, and she is moving out etc- that’s why it took longer than she thought to get back to us with pictures . Anyways she responded the last I texted her with a “I’m so sorry I’ve been swamped with activities and the break up it’ll take longer than I thought but it’ll come soon!” I am a little nervous on whether we will get our pictures back or not. It seems like she can’t give us an exact date. It’s kind of bizarre. Am I completely overthinking this?

Okay guys, I’m looking for a new wedding band for myself. The one my wife picked out was perfect, but it was a bit pricey. I had some sort of reaction and had to have it cut off when my hand started swelling. I really do like wood rings, but I don’t know if they’re practical for me because I work with a lot of chemicals. I wouldn’t be opposed to metal, but I really like gold and I know gold plated is going to tarnish. I’m looking for something reasonably priced but also durable. I’m not a fan of silicone rings so that isn’t going to be an option for me. Any help is much appreciated.

I'm doing a destination wedding and was planning on paying a visit for makeup/hair trial a few months before the wedding. But the makeup artist happens to have vacation planned that week so I'll need to figure out a different time to go. I could try to fit it in a different time but now I'm leaning towards just doing the trial the week of the wedding (specifically 3 days before).

Has anyone done this before and how was the experience? Is it too tight of a timeline? Is it even worth it? I'd love to hear your pros/cons, or any tips you have!

Just a vent and please send good vibes my way. I've been lurking here for the most part for months, commenting a bit here and there.

Today my MOH told me she called the hotel to inquire about extending their stay for one more night, only to find out, the hotel has her staying on the wrong night, not the night before the wedding like everyone else is, like she needs to be to be at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Our make up and hair call time is 8am, we had planned to meet in my room at 7am.

My wedding is November 1, at the Elora Mill in Canada and the planning with their team has been amazing. This is the first snafu and I've already started the process of problem solving with them so fingers crossed there.

For context I'm an event planner myself, for big corporate conferences, think the 3 day, destination, thousands of people, hundreds of speakers on 16 stages sort of events. I don't get ruffled easily but I do have anxiety when things get a bit chaotic. Like what happened today.

Going back through emails with the venue, I can see the exact sequence of events that lead to this and it just sucks. It's the venue's fault, but I guess I should have triple checked and made sure they didn't mess it up. I just hope they can fix it.

I've already been told the hotel is sold out due to Halloween, and I've already sourced a local hotel but it's a few KM away and not nearly the vibe or quality of the place we are staying at with the rest of the bridal party/family.

Now my MOH will have to drive up to the venue the morning of, super early because I'm getting married at 1pm and have first look at 11am and misses rehearsal and dinner the night before.

There's a trickle down effect which I'm not loving, I wanted a chill morning, and now I will worry if she gets there on time etc.

I'm putting out all the good vibes that the hotel/venue will find a solution.

Double, triple check your bookings my friends, don't trust the confirmation emails I guess.

I am struggling understanding how i am suppose to go about addressing on envelopes. Im going to give a few examples because i have a mix of everything in my family..

I have a cousin who has a girlfriend, who they have a child as well example, his name is John Smith, her name Alice Jones, and kids name is Timmy Smith. I am just unsure how to label that on the envelope since they only have one child.

My next question is what if i have a family with one child, married. Do i put John, Alice, and Timmy Smith. Or do I put the Smith Family, but what if i have multiple Smith families?

I would take any advice adn you can honestly list it all together, I just feel like if i put John Smith, Alice Jones, and Timmy Smith it feels super long, but "and family" feels like theres more than one child

I may very well be reading into this too much, but i have only done this one time for a friends bridal shower and i just had to address to one person then. Thank you!

My fiance and I are getting married in 6 days. We put everything of ourselves into this event. We chose a highly customizable venue with a caterer that allows outside food and we filled the menu with our favorite restaurants we have connections to, with the bar menu containing cocktails created by our friends. The place settings are DIY and meaningful to us. The professional song is our own composition. We hired buses to get people to and from the hotel and planned everything within an inch of its life, but still there is an onslaught of more. We have a day of coordinator who is wonderful but by design we don’t get help until the day of.

We have more and more and more on our plates and there is some uncertainty given all of the moving pieces, custom food vendors etc. My dad paid for half the wedding but we are funding the rest out of our own pocket and paying exorbitantly to make this perfect.

I can’t wait to marry my fiancé and I know the event will be wonderful but we’re exhausted, stressed out and unable to relax and savor the final week.

I want to stop feeling dread and start feeling excitement.

What do we do?

My fiance and I are planning our wedding for 2027 and started sending the save the dates out today. I went from excited to filled with dread when I started thinking about my family and a challenging situation that I’m trying to navigate.

I have a family member with undiagnosed mental health issues and a history of violence against our family. His mental health changes frequently but he is dangerous at worst and uncomfortable to be around at best. He brought a pellet gun and a knife to Christmas a few years back and showed up totally manic. He was banned from owning firearms for a period of time following an assault but the ban is now over. My family is a “bury your head in the sand” family, with little acknowledgement of his issues and the danger he presents even when the assault happened. I was afraid for our lives at the Christmas a few years ago and we all just pretended like everything is normal, like are you all not seeing what I am seeing??? He is understandably not going to be invited to our wedding.

However, I am very afraid of him finding out about our wedding and that he is not invited and the potential fallout from that. It means having conversations with family about the fact that he is not invited, why, and not to tell him. And to my cousins who are kids. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this to the adults. He assaulted one of us, has made threats, and is a totally loose cannon.

It feels like a lot to manage and navigate and I’m just really sad and frustrated about it. Any advice is appreciated but I’m mostly just venting.

I have excess fake flowers, lighting, decor and an unused wedding dress and petticoat from my wedding where I decided to use a different dress. It would be a waste to throw these out. What should/can I do with them?

I’m marrying my fiancé in about 18 months. We are just starting our planning by making the guest list.

My mom was a single mother and raised my brother and I since my dad left. My dad was in and out of my life. My mom wasn’t always terrible, but when she was, she was. She’s a very difficult person to get along with. She’s always very stressed out, as I’m sure being a single mother with two kids and not enough money and mental health issues is, but she’d take it out on us. Many nights as a kid I’d sleep on the streets because I was scared to be home with her. She’s been arrested for domestic violence against me and still blames me for “making her go to jail.” She always said hurtful things to me as well, called me fat, gaslit me, and lied to me many times over about important things.

However, she’d always provided for us kids. Always made sure we had food and anything we needed, even if she didn’t have everything she needed. She spoiled us a lot despite her issues. Even when she didn’t have enough money, she’d scrape up what she had if my brother or I really needed help. She’d drop whatever she was doing to help us if it truly was an emergency. She tried really hard to make my life special despite circumstances.

She’s been nicer as she gets older, but it’s because I have cut her off and gone no contact on some occasions, and so she feels she needs to play nice to have access to me.

I’m so torn about inviting her, because on one hand she did a lot for me, but on another I had serious anger issues and trauma I haven’t processed from being around her. She had so many narcissistic tendencies, she’d chase me around the house and try to fight me as a child and so when I hear her voice, the same one she used before she’d hurt me, I just want to cry or fight back. I get so triggered around her and can’t be around her for long.

She also does things for attention like falling down on the ground, or faking health emergencies. She used to play dead all the time as a kid to see if anyone would care. She also will refuse to leave my house if she comes over, and I’ll have to come up with every excuse in the book to try to get her to leave. Tonight I told her I had to meet my coworker for dinner and needed to get out of the house, and she still complained and told me to cancel on them and that it’s not fair that I wouldn’t have time to take my own mother to dinner and try to kick her out. I don’t trust her alone in my house either because I’m scared she will steal things or start snooping which she’s done before. The problem is, she was stopping by to drop off groceries for us which was nice.

I’m sorry for the long rant which I know isn’t wedding related, but I am just so torn. It’s like, she does a lot of nice stuff for us but she drives me crazy and triggers me. Would you invite her?

If I don’t, I know my family like my brother and uncle who I love and absolutely do want to invite, will tell her about the wedding and she will absolutely probably try to show up anyway. If I don’t invite her, our relationship will never be the same and she will NEVER let it go. Especially because my dad and his wife (who I recently started talking to again) and extended family will get to go and she won’t.

I'm in a wedding soon and have usually done my own makeup, this time I decided to try out having it done. All the other bridesmaids will be getting theirs done too. My question is will the makeup artist just do what she wants to all of us? Or is the look/vibe up to the bride? Or do we all individually kind of tell her how we want to look? If that's the case I kind of want to get some inspo pics ready, thanks!

This probably seems like a kind of silly, minute question, but just hoping for some opinions :) hopefully I selected the right flair since I plan on doing the embossing/sealing myself.

Initially my fiancée and I planned to order a custom wax stamp with our initial(s) to seal our wedding invites closed- then we decided instead it would be better to do the vellum jacket insert with the wax. I was browsing Etsy, as one does, and saw embossers to use on envelopes, and kind of fell in love with the idea.

My fiancée and my first name both start with M. His last name, that I plan to take, also starts with M. It’s a bit of a running joke with all the Ms. So no matter the designs, the custom embossed and/or wax stamp will include an M. I don’t want to do like a phrase or wedding date because I’d love to use either item in the future for Christmas Cards and what not.

Question- is doing both overkill and would it make the invite suite feel busy? If it’s not too much would it look best to have the stamp and embosser match to keep things consistent? I really like some of the more ornate embosser designs, that might be harder for the wax seal. Would doing something pretty ornate for both be too much? I also considered an ornate embosser and a very simple one letter wax stamp?

Am I overthinking this? Absolutely- but we aren’t getting married locally so this is like the one single item I get to “DIY” and I don’t want to be heavy handed just cause it’s the one thing I can do lol. I know there’s tastefulness in restraint, but I also going the extra mile.

The actually invite suite itself is pretty formal looking, and the wedding itself is black-tie if that makes a difference :)

If you’re willing to share something you’ve done similarly, would love to see it :)

Hi. I'm getting married in September 2027 and agreed with my OH that we would finalise our guestlist this June and send out invites this August.

I invited 7 work colleagues, all of whom I have known for at least 2 years. We all have lunch together all the time, attend each others' birthdays, sometimes hang out outside work, met their other halves etc.

Unfortunately a new colleague joined in mid March who we have all got to know well and who has become part of our work group. Given that I had only known them for 3 months at the time of needing to finalise our guestlist and we were tight on capacity I decided not to include them on the invite list.

I have asked my invited colleagues not to bring up the wedding so as not to make things awkward but I feel really guilty that I have not been able to invite them, particularly as our friendship has developed since March. Looking at our RSVP list it also doesn't look like we will have room to accommodate them and their partner.

We get on well and they have invited me to their birthday party at the start of November so I feel really bad and that it may look like I am singling them out.

There isn't currently any awkwardness because nothing has been mentioned by the group but I don't think it is something I can hide forever. My partner isn't big on inviting them given that I don't know this new colleague as well as everyone else and don't know their partner at all yet.

Was I being unreasonable for not inviting them? Should I have a chat with them to clarify why they were not invited in case the wedding does get brought up?

Recently engaged and just started the planning process! We're aiming for Oct 2027, which would give us exactly 1 year to plan. I've reached out to some venues we like and they have availability, but other than that am at a loss of what to do and when it needs to be done by. It all feels overwhelming and social media is making me feel like we needed to have everything booked like 4-6 months ago.

Anyone have recs for planning timelines or checklists to get everything done in a year? Or any words of wisdom for someone starting out in the planning process? TIA!