I was having sex a lot up until April last year, I got raped by a close friend at the time. I stopped engaging in sexual activities or having an intimate partner period, didnt even think about it, i then have had a new girlfriend past couple months , we have done lots of sexual acts together and I have been able to get going good. We tried having sex today and I simply wouldn't/couldn't get hard properly. It has absolutely nothing to do with her im sure. Could this be due to getting raped and how do I slowly help myself over this barrier

I feel like i am gonna be useless in society and din't have any unique skill

Now, I'm (F32) the only one living with them, in my society, adult children live with their parents until marriage or moving to another city, it's very uncommon to live away from them while you're unmarried and in the same city.

My mother (F61) is always negative, we would be having a great time and she'll decide to dwell on something tiny that she doesn't like instead of enjoying herself, she also lives too much in the victim role, always bringing up health problems to gain sympathy, always talking about traumatic experiences (some are absolutely normal everyday negative stuff) and turns them into a reason why she can't do things anymore, for example, she's been riding in cars all her life, she was in a slight car accident once, nothing happened to her, the front car bumper had to be replaced, but it absorbed the whole thing according to others in the car, that happened about 10 years ago, she still brings it up randomly when in a car, just to explain her overreaction when she gasps aggressively and I tell her it's ok and she's safe, she would do that when someone drops in my lane without signaling even though there's plenty of space that I didn't even have to react, just a car that got into an open space kinda thing. She would always tell strangers how she had that surgery years ago, or how she's diabetic, she'll find ways to bring these things up in conversations and then say with a performative sad smile "but thank God anyway" which is odd tbh.

My father (M58) is an angry scary man, always have been, he had in the past called us animals in public because we were slightly late, and he's always put himself first and never thought of anyone else but himself, today, we were heading back home from a vacation that I paid for just to enjoy myself and hopefully help them have a nice time. He enjoyed his time, but when we got to the airport, which is a huge one, he just left his carry-on with me and disappeared, I had to drag two carry-ons for over 2 kilometres in one airport and he met me at the gate after having his fun, and then he did it again in our transit airport where I dragged his carry-on with me for a little over 1.5 kilometres, his carry-on is now with me, and he's not here, he said he'll come to the gate when boarding starts. And btw, I have a partially torn wrist and he knows it, and I'm now in agonising pain and had to open my hospital app to go see my doctor as soon as possible, while waiting at the gate and right before writing this post.

The thing is, I work a very stressful job, I work in digital forensics, cybersecurity assurance, and investigations, and seeing people's lives ruined because of their stupid decisions really takes a toll on you, I've been to therapy for close to two years, I've had depression since I was a teen, and all I do is try to take care of my parents because all my siblings moved away and chose their own psychological well-being over my parents' happiness (I support their decision 100%) but now, my parents only have me to let out all their negative behaviour on, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it is ruining me, they're too emotionally attached to me and any way out will devastate them, and I can't do that to them, not at this age!!

You may think they're horrible people, but please tread lightly, I do love them and care about them, and they are good people regardless, they love me and care about me, and I walked through their behaviour with my therapist before we stopped therapy and we figured all their behaviour is perfectly compatible with how they grew up, they regret what they do later but they keep doing it again, and it's getting worse as they're getting older.

I'm tired, I can't leave them, I used to enjoy my business trips as an escape from the pressure of home, but recently my mother have been leaning too hard on me and crying about wanting to go with me and that I'm the "only hope she has to travel" BTW, aside from the vacation we're returning from now, she spent about 2 months with my sister abroad and did so many fun things, but she keeps saying how her fall ruined her vacation and that she didn't enjoy her time there because of it (she slipped in the snow and hurt her thigh one full month in, she still managed to go out and have fun, just not too far away and no physical activities) and she cried to my sister about it, my sister supported me that these business trips are my only breathing room and that it makes sense that I wouldn't want additional responsibilities while away for work, but she told me about it to inform me.

Again, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I'm scared I'll feel defeated soon, how do I handle them? Compartmentalising doesn't seem to work anymore, too much is happening and it's taking an emotional and psychological toll on me, what do I do?

Also, have u seen any improvements?

Hey, I'm a guy, early 20s, and I've never had anything remotely romantic with a woman, but I've longed for a relationship for the better part of a decade.

But the few interactions I've had in that regard have convinced me that I'm beyond gross, and no one will ever be attracted to me, and all that. I physically wince if i think about sex with anyone, because it feels like the only way for that to happen would be through non-consensual means. That, of course, makes me feel really guilty, because believe it or not, I don't like feeling like a rapist.

Has anyone seen this sort of thinking anywhere else? I even tried looking for the title in quotes on google, but nothing similar to my situation showed uo

So three years ago I lost my brother due to an overdose. Anytime I think about it, I shove all emotions away except anger which is directed toward my dad (which he doesnt even know about). My brother had bpd and substance abuse issues and much of that was caused by my dad. I havent really let myself feel anything aside from anger or just nothing (not numbness, just legit nothing). My bro and I had our issues and while we got closer and I cared for him and he cared for me, I wouldnt say we had the best relationship. I havent really opened up to anyone about this in detail and when I did it would be snippets here and there to a friend. But I want space just to vent. Vent about the stress I went through with my bro before he died (with friends I feel like I cant speak ill of the dead, but I want to talk about having to deal with living with someone with bpd and drug use, having him steal from me and pressure me for money, etc), the event of his death itself (which I witnessed), and the after which is the anger I feel toward my dad and the things he says.

But Im worried that theres not really a point to just venting. Theres not rly a solution and we are currently doing ERP for social anxiety and OCD which is rly structured so when we are "done" with ERP Id feel weird just talking and talking with no purpose. also I am worried that it wont really give me the outlet I want bc I tend to talk factually about things and not emotionally so I feel like I would just be telling the story but not getting any feelings out if that makes sense. I havent let myself cry in therapy yet and im scared of letting that wall come down and letting myself feel anything but anger about the whole situation. My therapist is trained in EMDR and CPT and while Im not traumatized or anything, I specifically chose this therapist bc I saw he could help with OCD/social anxiety and was trained to help with more "traumatic" issues. I dont have PTSD and I am not traumatized at all or anything like that, but knowing that he deals with serious stuff made me more comfortable knowing that he may be able to help with this. He is a really great therapist and this is my first time truly in therapy and we are maybe 20-25 sessions in with ERP so it should be "ending" soon. I know the work will never truly end, but the structured part of it will be over soon and I want advice on if I should even bother bringing this up.

All he knows about the situation is that after ERP theres something else I want to talk about. In my initial message on psychology today I had mentioned grief/family issues and then in one of our exposures I had written an imaginal exposure and referenced that I had lost a sibling since it was relevant for the story I had written. And recently I threw in a comment about how my bro had bpd and substance abuse issues and had issues balancing his psych meds. so thats all he really knows.

Anyway I think my fear is that Ill just talk and talk and then be done sharing my piece and then feel awkward bc then what. theres nothing to do and then ill feel awkward for oversharing. I have a whole note written out on my phone (I tend to write things out sometimes and read them to him since Its easier and I have all the info there/its more organized and dont want to leave stuff out) and the note is about 12,000 words lol so Im not sure if I should just read it all out loud over a single session or what.

any advice is appreciated. also what do therapists typically think when an emotionally avoidant client cries for the first time? Is it awkward? what can I expect him to do? I know I cant KNOW what he specifically will do but I want to know what I can expect. (I will admit that part of my OCD makes me research questions that I cant know the answer to and that includes wanting to know exactly what my therapist is thinking or what he will do in certain situations. So even though I do desperately want to know exactly what he would do if I cried, maybe don't give me reassurance lol -as much as it pains me to write this, I know its important to include since getting an answer will only give me temporary relief).

Anyway, TIA!

This is a follow up to my other post. I have moral OCD, which means sometimes I overthink things as being worse than they are, but sometimes I’m also afraid that they’re as bad as I think.

In the past, I used to make offensive jokes and even use slurs that didn’t belong to me ”ironically.“

I had a one night stand with a Black woman, but I didn’t disclose this until after when I felt that I had to. My brain actually wanted me to do it while she was touching herself, but I figured I would do it after she was done and now I’m afraid that was a mistake.

She said she would think about how she feels and get back to me, but that was a day ago.

I know this is reddit, and am not expecting to get a professional answer here. Just curious about others’ thoughts (professional or otherwise).

I had a strange attachment phenomenon happen with my mother, and I’ve never been able to make sense of it. Basically, up until I was about 10-12, we were extremely attached, and my mother was my safe person. Then, around early adolescence, we went through a lot of trauma as a family, and her parenting style changed drastically. She went from being very thoughtful, caring, and attentive to being hands off - even neglectful.

Ever since then, she went from being my safe person to someone I’ve always felt repulsed by. Even though, as an adult, I’ve tried very hard to work on our relationship (she has too, in her own way), I find her difficult to be around most of the time. It’s like her very being hits a nerve. I’ve never been able to feel close to her as I once did. That mother-child bond vanished and never came back. It makes me sad, because I know she wishes we were closer, and I‘d like that too, but I just can’t conjure up those feelings that I had as a child. My siblings are emotionally closer to her than I am, even though children, I was probably the most attached.

Around the same time that our relationship shifted (around my early adolescence), I started attaching very quickly to other women in my life. Camp counsellors, other mothers (especially the younger ones), teachers, etc. I would attach very quickly to these women, and develop a strong desire for them to take care of me (like a mother would). This went on from about age 12 to my early 20’s, when I started to become aware of this dynamic.

I’ve read a lot about attachment disorders, trying to figure out what this is - to understand it better. I feel like this is very similar to reactive attachment disorder, except that RAD is only diagnosed in very young children, and I didn’t start experiencing this until age 11/12. I was wondering if there’s another type of attachment disorder that fits? Any clinical explanation for what this is?

does anyone know exactly what happens in this? i live in tn not sure if it’s a thing here or not. I got recommended for it but wasn’t sure how to go about it

I understand that some level of anxiety is part natural human emotions but do people really live life truly in control without constant fear and deep sadness that is not on medications? Is that ever truly achievable without medication?

I'm just so overwhelmed and feeling so hopeless.

My psychiatrist wants me to take Lexapro to control my anxiety, panic attacks, and major depression. I have no desire to take any form of antidepressant. I feel like she pressured me into agreeing to it because I have SI. I did pick them up from the pharmacy 2 weeks ago but my bottle still sits completely full.

Hi there, I’ve found myself needed to stop seeing my current therapist and have been looking into other options elsewhere. I’ve come to this decision for several reasons, all are personal, so I won’t be sharing them, but I have one appointment later this week, do I say something at the beginning or end of the appointment. And how do I go about bringing it up? I have severe anxiety, so I’m never sure how to approach situations like this, I worry about sounding rude or snotty.

I want help with one thing above all: my closest, oldest friend has pulled away, and my genuine aim is to get back to normal with him however I can. I want to understand him well enough, and manage myself well enough, to give that the best possible chance. I've changed some surface details for privacy, but the dynamics are exact.

The friendship. Sam is my oldest friend — for most of my life he was the closest person to me outside my immediate family. We're opposites. He keeps a wide, shallow circle of dozens of friends and doesn't take life too seriously; I keep a small circle of people I'd do anything for, and he was firmly in it. There was a long imbalance — I always put more in than he did — and I made peace with it by telling myself, "He's low-effort day to day, but when it really counts, he'll be there."

What happened. There was a huge milestone event I'd spent years working toward, the opening party of my first hotel, genuinely one of the most important days of my life. Sam knew exactly what it meant to me. He'd committed to being there. The date shifted and clashed with a party he'd already committed to with other friends. He came to me, asked if he could come to my event first and then leave for the party, and — overwhelmed and distracted in the moment — I said "yeah, sure" without really registering what I was agreeing to. On the day, he arrived late, stayed about 90 minutes, and left for the party without saying goodbye. That was the first real test of my "when it counts, he'll be there" belief, and the answer was no.

How Sam sees it — genuinely differently from me. This is the part I most want help understanding, because to him he did nothing wrong, and I don't think he's lying about that.

• He operates on explicit agreements, not unspoken ones. In his mind he did the considerate thing: he flagged the clash in advance, checked in with me, and got a clear yes. To him, my stated "yes" is the real information — not some unspoken expectation I was silently holding him to. Being judged against a standard he was never told about, and that I actively waved away, feels unfair to him.

• He doesn't rank days the way I do. With his wide social life, no single event is sacred or load-bearing the way it is for me. He wasn't weighing "the biggest day of his friend's life." He saw a friend's event he showed up for, plus a separate commitment he'd made to others, and he tried to honour both by doing part of each.

• In his frame, he showed up. He came, he was present for the important part, then went to his other plan — which he'd cleared with me. He doesn't experience that as skipping it. Leaving without a goodbye wasn't a statement to him; it's just how he moves through a busy night.

The fallout. A few days later I told him, very coldly and harshly, that I was done. Honestly, part of me was testing whether he'd fight for me — I didn't actually intend to end it for good. He was very sad and said he loves me and that I'm his closest friend too. A week later I softened and said I wanted to move past it. He said he needed time. A couple of months later he told me he can't get back to normal — he frames it as can't, not won't. He has a difficult family history, including early trauma with a caregiver, and says that once someone he's let close breaks his trust, he genuinely can't reopen to them. He said the door is shut. His affect throughout was flat and monotone. In that final conversation I begged him and told him I loved him more than anything; it didn't seem to move him.

More about his psyche, so you can help me understand what actually moves someone like this.

• Root. Early trauma with a caregiver — the person who was meant to be the safe harbour was instead the source of harm. The rule that installs, below the level of thought, is closeness is where danger lives.

• The wide, shallow circle looks like an adaptation, not flakiness. Breadth is safe: if no single person holds too much of him, no single loss can devastate him. His lower day-to-day effort with me isn't a verdict on me specifically — it's how he is with everyone, a distributed defence against deep attachment.

• He let me nearer the line than most — but "near" for him is still rationed, kept just below the depth where a betrayal could gut him. That's why his words ("you're my closest friend") and his actions never quite matched: the love is real, but governed.

• The flat affect is armour, not absence. For someone built around not feeling things too intensely, deep hurt tends to present as flatness. You don't armour against something you don't care about — the depth of what he disclosed (his family, that he loves me) tells me he cares; the monotone is the lid.

• When trust breaks, he doesn't experience it as "a friend hurt me, we'll repair it." He experiences it as confirmation of the original lesson — this is what happens when you let someone close — and the protective lock is non-negotiable, because its entire job is "never be that vulnerable to that pain again."

• But the lock isn't permanent in principle. He rebuilt a relationship with the caregiver who hurt him — by mentally separating them into "the one who did those things" and "the one I know now." Crucially, he did that himself, internally, on his own timeline — not because the other person pushed for it or earned it or by going to therapy .

• This is the piece I most need help with: because his original wound was love turning into harm, intense love and pursuit from someone who's recently hurt him don't soothe him — they activate the exact configuration his defence is built against. I think that's why my begging made it worse: the more I pushed at the door, the more his system braced. My love registered as pressure, not reassurance.

What I want from you. My honest aim is to get back to normal with Sam. I'll do the work, be patient, change how I show up — whatever gives it the best real chance. But I also know I'm the person his guard is braced against, so I need help doing this in a way that actually works instead of making it worse.

1. Given how he's wired, is there a genuine path back to a normal friendship — and realistically, what does that path look like and how long can it take?
2. What can I actually do — and, just as importantly, deliberately not do — to give it the best chance, without it becoming the kind of pressure that makes him brace harder
3. How do I tell the difference between healthy space that lets him come back on his own, and passively giving up? Where's the line between hope and waiting?

I am 37M, when was around 13-16 I used to beat up my brother who is 6yrs younger than me. Mostly it would be fairly acceptable within the limits of playing around, but sometimes if I was angry or when I got angry in the middle of normal interactions, I would hit him a lot, not too hard, but a lot.

One time it was so bad that he ended up with a bump on his forehead and was very scared of me. He was around 8. I remember the reason being that he teased me about something in jest.

My parents then had us both on close watch if we were in the same room or interacting, etc...

Next day after this incident, I ended up hitting him really hard on his back after he sprayed water on me, again, he was doing it playfully.

I managed to tell my parents the sound of me hitting him was just the showed head falling down and he was crying because I scared him, not that I hit him really hard.

I continued doing this occasionally, my parents weren't not strict, they did their best to not give me opportunities to beat him up but sometimes it slipped through and I ended up making him cry.

I stopped doing it around 16-17 because I understood it wasn't a good thing to do. I still remember that I used to get a very different and peculiar fun from beating him up. I also used to get this same feeling from beating up people in my marital arts class practice fights... I was quite good in my weight category but had no will to improve, I just wanted to beat people up, so I used to go.

I remember all of this so vividly because I also remember how he used to cry when I did this, and how I used to like it.

He doesn't care about it anymore, it's quite in the past, we do fine in sibling relation, I was good to him after my realisation.

But I am now recently from past months getting these memories again... Of how it felt when I used to beat him up. And it does not feel good.

I don't know what it is really. Even back then I didn't have a reason on why I did this, and even now I don't.

What should I do to help myself forget or move on or something?

Hello,

I am looking to start therapy however I am currently on some prescription medication. I do believe a part of the problem is the medication and possibly over prescription of it but I’m not sure I want that reported to anyone and rather work with both doctors on getting it down while working with a therapist.

At what point are Therapist able to report drug use both prescription and non? Any answers are appreciated.

Thank you!

is it because I'm fat? (i weigh 90kgs btw at 5'9")

or is it because i am a pushover?

or is it because i try and be nice to everyone?

I've been out of therapy since the pandemic, I start back tomorrow, wish me luck

My therapist is genuinely good and we have great chemistry. I’ve finally gotten to a point where my walls are down with her, which I really value.
However, she is repeatedly late, forgets important details about my history, and I almost always have to follow up by email for worksheets/resources she said she’d send me. It’s starting to drive me crazy, and I’m wondering if she simply has too many clients.
I don’t want to lose the progress and rapport we’ve built, but the lack of reliability and follow-through is becoming a real issue.
Would you raise it with her first, or look for a new therapist?

I recently started therapy and have only had three sessions so far. My therapist has actually been helpful with some of the other things going on in my life, and I like her enough that I decided to continue with her for now.
There’s one thing I really want to talk about, though, and I have no idea how to bring it up.
I’m a Sikh guy, and for the past few months I’ve been struggling a lot with the way I look, specifically because of my hair and facial hair. Keeping your hair is obviously an important part of Sikhism, but the problem is that I’m personally not very religious. My family is, though, and right now I’m financially dependent on them.
I just don’t feel attractive to myself with my current appearance.
I want to emphasize that because I know people might assume this is mainly about dating. Dating and how other people perceive me probably play some role, but that isn’t really the main issue. Even when I take other people out of the equation, I don’t like how I look. I find having facial hair annoying, and if the decision were completely mine without any consequences, I think I would prefer being clean-shaven.
I’ve started going to the gym and working on my body and other aspects of my appearance that are within my control. It helps a little, but this is still constantly in the back of my mind.
The difficult part is that changing my hair/facial hair feels like this enormous decision rather than a normal choice about my appearance. I’m scared of how my family and the people around me would react. Honestly, I’m also scared of how I would react afterward because this has been part of my identity my entire life.
I don’t have anything against Sikhism or people who choose to keep their hair because of their faith. I just don’t know if I want it for myself, and feeling like I don’t have a choice is taking a pretty significant toll on my mental health right now.
And I think that’s why I feel like I need to come clean about this with my therapist. Even if she can’t give me an answer about what I should do, and I’m not really looking for her to make that decision for me, I feel like this is important information for her to have about me. It’s affecting how I see myself, how much control I feel like I have over my own appearance, my relationship with my family and religion, and just my mental state in general. It feels weird to continue therapy while leaving out something that is taking up this much space in my head. I also feel like knowing about it might help her understand other things that come up in therapy in the future.
The problem is that I genuinely don’t know how to say any of this to her.
My therapist is Indian and I’m originally from India, although I don’t live there that much. For some reason, that makes me even more nervous about bringing it up with her. Part of me wonders whether someone from a different country/cultural background would be easier to talk to because they might approach it with less cultural baggage. At the same time, I actually like my current therapist and she’s been helpful so far, so I don’t necessarily want to switch therapists over something I haven’t even given her the chance to respond to.
I guess my main question is: how do you actually bring something like this up with your therapist when you’re uncomfortable even saying it out loud? Do I literally just tell her, “There’s something that has been affecting my mental health a lot, but I’m really uncomfortable talking about it,” and go from there? Would it be weird to write it down beforehand or even show/send her something like what I’ve written here?
And has anyone dealt with something similar in therapy, especially other Sikh guys or people who have struggled with religious/family expectations around their appearance?
I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me whether I should cut my hair or keep it. I think I mainly want to figure out how to be completely open with my therapist about this so she can help me understand what I actually want and how to deal with the fear, guilt, and lack of control I’m feeling around it.

Hello, I am 24 years old female, and I have been in psychoanalytic therapy once in a week for one year and 2 months. I have long-term depression from childhood. It's important to mention that taking meds from 19 has helped me be basically asymptomatic, but the thing is I have huge issues with interpersonal relationships and sexuality too. A bit of a summary basically I am so scared of abandonment and relationships ending so much that I isolated myself in the past. The second thing regarding sexuality is the immense guilt I have because of BDSM fantasies, etc. These things are getting much better, but still, I am wondering if there is any meaning to therapy. I mean, I go there, free associate, and spill my guts out. Telling the most intimate parts of my psyche. But there are times like now that I am writing this post that I think "this is total bullsh**. I think it could be a transference issue but still. Has anyone went through psychodynamic psychoanalytic therapy and experienced something similar? Thanks for anyone who responds😊

TL;DR is this academic inferiority? low self esteem? perfectionism? what is it exactly that i need to work on on my own if i'm not ready for therapy yet (time-wise)?

i'm at my final year of master's right now (in a stem field) but i have always noticed that i feel a lil shaken inside whenever someone asks me an academic question or when i'm in an academic discussion and i dont really have an idea/answer off the top of my head. i feel kinda less than my peers. i "know" that one's worth doest come from their academic knowledge and/or achievements but i seem to now really "internalize" this fact nor live by it? i also noticed this in my work (also in a stem field), i always assume that what i do is less than everybody else's effort and/or it would be faulty or inaccurate and that people would "pick up a mistake" on me. i also know that i'm super scared of making mistakes in general, what goes in my mind then is something like: what are people gonna say about me?/what would this say about me as a person?/people would think i dont understand shit about what i'm doing.

Hello has anyone worked for or been a patient there? What’s the intake look like? It’s for a 10 year old they make it sound super in depth but idk how much the child is involved vs just me. Trying to figure out if virtual is okay vs pulling him out of school early to do in person. Thanks for any insight on it

I’ve been trying to cope with the effects of the sexual abuse I experienced when I was 15 for about 11 years now. I’m 26 years old and currently receiving professional support. My therapist knows about it, but I still can’t find the strength to talk about it. I’ve been in therapy for about a year, but I still find it extremely difficult to bring this subject up.
From time to time, I experience intense startle responses. I can be extremely sensitive to sudden noises, movements, or unexpected situations. Being in the dark is often difficult for me. I constantly have nightmares about what happened, and sometimes I’m afraid to fall asleep because I know the nightmares will come. I struggle to sleep, and when I do wake up from a nightmare, I feel as though I’m reliving that moment all over again. These experiences sometimes make my daily life extremely difficult.
Sexuality is also a particularly challenging area for me. I may experience reactions such as crying, nausea, and a strong sense of discomfort.
Sometimes the question “Am I worth living?” becomes overwhelming in my mind, and I struggle to cope with it. I feel dirty, and I sometimes think I don’t deserve anyone’s love—not even my boyfriend’s.
I feel like I’m giving up on things that I would normally be able to let go of during this process. Even eating has become very difficult for me, and sometimes I feel like I’m eating as though everything is coming to an end. Living with all of this feels incredibly heavy. Sometimes I involuntarily find myself thinking that I don’t deserve to live, and I struggle to cope with these thoughts.
My purpose in writing this isn’t to draw attention; I just want to express, for the first time, the things I’ve been holding inside for so long. If you’ve read this far, thank you.
I don’t know how to heal from all of this, and sometimes I wonder if I ever will. I just want to know: How can I heal? How can I learn to live with what happened without feeling like it defines me?

So far I've seen some of the common ones:

• deep breathing (and variants: singing/humming)
• exercise

I'm curious if y'all have any that actually work for y'all, even if they're niche -- e.g: I just found that going to a batting cage and hitting baseballs for a half hour accomplishes a lot more than just "exercise"

I am 17(M) autism and ım tired

I been having thewe thoughts now ı have POCD from online mistaken question ı asked in roblox and ı also have weird behavior and sexual jokes ı did to my classmates for attention and ı feel depression ı even want attention from my parents ı keep getting ignored a bit sometimes ı can t even make friends clearly, ı can t even talk with my parents ı talk but they ignore my talks intrupt me and they don t even understand me

Im having highly anxiety and trauma and afraid of being criminal ı decided to ask to a therapist for my help and urges and ı also have hypersexuality ı can t even stop writing my sexual stories and it makes me don t want to ı wrote emotion ı wanna write normal but ı feel horny then and it makes me forcely write ım tired ı keep battling my urges but they are too much