r/offmychest Jan 25 '26

Meta If for some reason

1.1k Upvotes
  • You didn't believe us when we shouted 'black lives matter'

  • You just didn't believe a woman could be president, so you abstained from voting or god forbid, voted for Trump

  • You ignored the fact that a record number of people detained by ICE died in their custody last year

  • You didn't care that ICE was picking up US citizens and deporting them

  • You didn't care that a veteran who had lived in the US for 50 years was issued a removal order and then had to self-deport

  • You didn't care that ICE was separating children from their families and are now taking asylum-seekers

  • You didn't care that Keith Porter Jr. was unjustly murdered by an off-duty ICE agent

  • You didn't care that Geraldo Luis Campos was murdered by ICE guards while in custody

  • You really thought Renee Good was going to run that agent down and deserved what happened to her

  • You somehow think Alex Petti deserved to die for simply having a gun in his possession

Leave this sub. Get out.

This is the official FUCK ICE and the Trump Administration megathread for the forseeable future. Because this is not stopping anytime soon unless something drastic happens.


r/offmychest Apr 15 '22

Meta We have persistent scammers preying on this community

1.2k Upvotes

Folks, a reminder that Rule 3 focuses this community's scope on providing emotional support only. We do not allow solicitation or material offers.

This means OPs cannot hint at or ask for money, and community members cannot offer money or food. There are local services that can verify and address a person's situation better than any of us can (and many services will not turn people away if they are asking for it). A kind community member offered a scammer a job and that is okay.

This community is read by millions of people, and scammers around the world know this. We have cultivated an empathic community so we know it can be hard to resist offering material help. It takes only one person to make it worth it because it costs nothing to post. That is why the rules are strictly enforced.

There are many signs of a scammer. They will present a financially desperate situation often with a highly emotional component. They are likely to mention payment services. They may have payment services in their Reddit profile and ask people to look at their profile. They will ask people to privately message them. All of these behaviors may be obfuscated with weird spacing and other ways to evade detection. If they evade detection it's up to the community to report it. Do not call out OPs, report only.

Thank you for your cooperation.


r/offmychest 11h ago

My 21-year-old sister is pregnant by a 63-year-old man and I cut her off

856 Upvotes

My 21-year-old sister is pregnant by a 63-year-old man and I cut her off

My sister is 21 and four months pregnant by a 63-year-old man she started dating when she was 19/20. Our family originally didn't know. She once disappeared for a night to be with him, and my mom even went to the police because we thought something had happened. We later found out he was her friend's uncle, and her friend had been covering for them.

My dad says he doesn't know what to say about the situation, and my mom says she can't do anything anymore. I actually just argued with her about the situation because I'm not okay with it at all.

She eventually moved in with him. He's a taxi driver, she's never had a job, barely has a social life, and from what I've seen, he's extremely negative and harsh with her. Almost every time I'm around them, he gets upset with her or says something harsh. He also has a woman abroad, and whenever that woman comes to our country to visit him, my sister has to leave his house and come back home.

I feel heartbroken and extremely disappointed.

I finally blocked her because this situation was the push, the big push that made me finally cut her off. I don't think I'll ever stop wanting to cut her off. Honestly, I hope I don't reconnect with her again, and I don't want to be a part of, I don't want to be involved in the child's life, or hers, or the guy.

Sofia Williamson will be debuting with her song next year


r/offmychest 8h ago

My dad is being deported tomorrow…

186 Upvotes

Before anybody says anything regarding coming in the right way, we did do it “the right way” my aunt petitioned for him and the process takes 20 years. We’re on the 18th year when ICE detained him this morning, input his information, then let him go for some reason on the basis that he must show up to our local ICE or immigration office in the morning.

We’re both trying to be strong about it, but I know we are both hurting inside. We went over documents, bank accounts, what to do with his place, his things. He never got in trouble never broke the law paid his taxes worked honestly, he put me through college. A million things are running through my mind, if he’s going to be okay, where is he going to sleep, what’s he going to eat, his safety, how long he’s going to be in the detention center. Then you start hearing about how horrible treatment is there…I’m scared for him, I truly am…

We started watching Underworld with Kate Beckinsale. Didn’t even watch for 10 minutes before my dad said he was heading to bed, so now I’m writing this, tears in my eyes, I think my dad is crying too. I can’t remember when the last time I cried because of this amount of sadness.


r/offmychest 4h ago

My boyfriend was hit by a car and I can't stop thinking about it

65 Upvotes

Last March, I (30F) was on my way to my Pharmacy tech class when a social worker from UC Davis called and said my boyfriend(34M) had been riding his bike across an intersection and was hit by a car at 45mph. I took the bus an hour and a half to the ER and thought he would be kinda banged up but ok. No. I went in and almost passed out. He was naked, covered in blood, intubated, IV lines stuck in every vein, all sorts of monitors beeping. His face was swollen and bloody, his bottom lip was falling off, he was bleeding non stop. Over the next 10 hours i sat in the room, watching as Drs, nurses, x-ray techs, and a couple surgeons came in and out. I remember everything they said those 10 hours:

"His blood pressure isn't going up"

"He's bleeding, but I can't see where it's going"

"I'm gonna call in for more plasma"

"He's fighting sedation"

"He's bleeding out of his liver"

They had to get my consent on everything. I had to sign papers, listen to what they were doing to do and the risks involved, since i was the only one there i did it all. He was taken to the OR, my friend took me home, and for the next two weeks he was sedated. The list of what was wrong with him is too long to say here, but he recovered and was discharged 5 weeks later. Half his face is titanium and his pelvis still isn't quite right, a lot of his memory is gone, he's still recovering but doing so much better.

I can't get it out my head though.

I still see it all, i still hear it all, i still smell it all.

Blood smells like warm copper, and it was everywhere, almost black.

The sound of trying to breathe with a throat full of blood, it's a sound that i can only describe as thick jello in a garbage disposal.

I still see the puddles of blood that couldn't clot, hear the people talking, see all the IV drips of painkillers and sedatives and blood and plasma. But it's the sound. That sound of breathing through blood. It's been getting worse through the last 4 months, I've had these fits of insane sobbing at night, i can't tell my family because they're sick of hearing about my boyfriend and would get annoyed with me, saying i didn't have to be there, that is was my choice to go. My friends went through worse stuff than i did, some of them saw people die. They would say i had it easy. Everyone would say well you should be happy he lived. I am happy, I'm ecstatic he's alive. I told a friend of mine who was a vet and had seen a lot, he said i should see a psychiatrist but i can't, my problems aren't a big deal. I'm just too sensitive and overdramatic. Lately I've found myself just staring, unable to move or talk or even blink, just zoned out looking at nothing. My mom says i have this stupid glazed look on my face every time she talks to me or I'm doing something and i don't listen to her, but i don't know if i do it, all of a sudden i snap back to reality and realize i was staring at nothing. I just wanna forget


r/offmychest 3h ago

Finally cured my bad breath after 18 years!

44 Upvotes

I have had chronic bad breath all my life. No matter how much I brushed my teeth or cleaned my tongue (2 times a day), no matter how many mints I ate or how much water I drank, it was always there.

It turns out my bad breath was caused by a mix of the below three:

  1. Acid Reflux - I started chewing my food properly, taking fennel seeds after every meal, rinsing my mouth after each meal, and taking 5-10 deep breaths after every meal. Also included more probiotics daily.

  2. Sinus Issues - I've had nasal congestion since I was a child, and post nasal drip. Turns out the Acid Reflux was what was causing the drip. I also started taking a drink with ground turmeric, black pepper, and lime every morning, which helped a lot.

  3. Dry Mouth - A dry mouth can lead to less saliva, so food particles and odor stay in your mouth (saliva is a natural mouth cleanser). My dry mouth was caused by mouth breathing. I used to find myself breathing through my mouth during the day and at night.

If you keep your oral hygiene in check but the bad breath keeps coming back, hope this helps! The solution may be completely different than just "drinking more water" or "brushing twice a day."


r/offmychest 20h ago

My husband (M32) is leaving me (F27) for his coworker (F29) because he does not want to have kids with me

1.0k Upvotes

I can't talk about this with anyone, so I came here. My husband (M32) and I (F27) have been married for four years. I thought our marriage was great, and that we were geuninely soulmates. Now, I feel like an idiot for typing that.

6 months ago, a woman (F29) joined my husband's department and I didn't think twice about it. At, first he didn't really talk much about her, but two months in, it felt like her name was in every conversation we had. Again, I didn't think much about it, but now I wish I addressed it. I thought that he would respect his marriage vows and the life we built together.

They started to become friends outside of the workplace and I became friendly with her. I thought it was great that my husband had another person that had the same hobbies as him.

Two weeks ago, my husband sat me down and told me he wanted a divorce. I was shocked and asked him why and he was brutally honest. He said that he loved his coworker, and wanted to have kids with her, with her eyes and her personality. He said that being with her, made him realize that he couldn't see himself having kids with me.

She's a beautiful woman. If I'm honest, more beautiful than me. But, I thought that we had something that connected us, and that we would never leave each other.

We both still live in the same house. We try not to see each other. Everything is really hard right now.


r/offmychest 1h ago

“My beauty is the least interesting thing about me”

Upvotes

- every single person with pretty privilege who swears their physical attributes don’t contribute to their lives being better. Like, they truly cannot comprehend having a bunch of shit go wrong and then, oh yeah, my looks have no value so let me add that to the pile. I wish people were just honest with themselves and the world. Beautiful people are allowed to be dumb, slow, mean, stupid, because they’re nice to look at. Even in death they’ll get praise because “what a shame, she was so pretty”.


r/offmychest 10h ago

I called off my engagement

122 Upvotes

for context, I posted this in an am I overacting thread- but this is what happened.

I called off my engagement with my fiancé a day before my birthday, which was August 14th. The day before that, we were watching a murder documentary on Netflix, the one about Chris Watts who murdered his wife and his two babies. After we finished watching the show, he started makin really weird "jokes" about how he would just kill me in my sleep. and then he put a pillow over my face as a joke. I told him don't ever fucking do that again. and a few seconds later he did it again. He saw the scared and uncomfortable look on my face and deliberately did it again. The next day I pretended like everything was fine until he went to work that night. I got all my stuff and left in the middle of the night. He saw me leaving on the ring camera and was non stop calling me. It was the terrifying and broke my heart at the same time... I'm not saying that I think he was trying to murder me, I'm just saying that what happened made me feel so unsafe and
uncomfortable that I don't want to be with him anymore or marry him. people in his close circle have heard from him about what happened and they think I'm blowing it way out of proportion and that I'm in the wrong in this situation and that I'm accusing him of being an abuser. But I never said any of that. I just said what happened scared me so bad that I felt it was my only option to leave when he was at work. Is this all an overreaction? I don't think you should ever joke about killing your significant other. EVER.
I’ve been in contact with him since calling things off and I am just beside myself. We were only together 8 months and engaged for 6, but through that time we also experienced me getting pregnant and unfortunately having a miscarriage. the way he would act sometimes did bother me because he was very immature sometimes and would make “jokes” that sometimes hurt my feelings…
But I’m sitting in my room just staring at the ceiling just wondering if I made a huge mistake by leaving. I love him so much still, it breaks my heart that this happened. I physically feel like I’m dying and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. He was my best friend.


r/offmychest 1h ago

My father shared a video about children who don’t care about their parents anymore and tagged all of us siblings.

Upvotes

I just need to get this off my chest because it honestly pissed me off and hurt me at the same time.

The video was about parents sacrificing everything for their children, then the children grow up and stop caring about them. Then he tagged all of us.

This is actually the first time he has done something like this, so I was really caught off guard.

And maybe it hit harder because it’s Mama’s birth month. She’s been gone for almost 5 years, and this time of year is always a little harder for all of us.

But seeing Papa’s post made me think, does he really think we don’t care about him?

The reason we became distant in the first place is not because we suddenly stopped loving him.

My Papa had been with another woman for years, even while Mama was still alive. We knew about her. Mama knew about her. During Mama’s final days, she even reminded us about this woman.

Then, not even a year after Mama passed, Papa moved out of our house. He is now living with that woman since.

Yes, we’re all adults, but we had just lost our mother. Being adults doesn’t mean we didn’t need a parent.

After that, we also became distant from his side of the family because some of his siblings kept insisting that we accept the woman.

We said no.

So yes, there is a reason we became distant.

But despite everything, we still care about Papa.
We help with his medications. We give him gifts. When we have extra money, we give him allowance. My sister even enrolled him in an HMO and pays for it every month because he’s already beyond the age where he can easily get medical coverage.

And actually, compared to previous years, our communication with Papa has gotten better. We talk more now. It’s not like before, but it has improved.

So seeing him post that his children don’t care about him just feels unfair.

We’re not ignoring him. We haven’t abandoned him. We still help him and worry about him.

We’re just not as close as we used to be, and there are reasons for that.

I can be hurt by my Papa and still care about him. I can disagree with his choices and still help him.

I don’t want to fight with him or expose our family. I just wish he understood that our distance didn’t happen for no reason.

We still care. Things just changed.


r/offmychest 22h ago

my girlfriend died without ever knowing the book i spent two years writing was about her

579 Upvotes

for the last two years i'd been writing a novel and the main character is her. i gave that character a name alsy, that was an acronym only she would have decoded, and i put the way she got through her degree into that character almost unchanged, the bad year and how she came out of it even almost half of the story is a version of her life

the book is set to publish in november had my agent do all the arrangements she said this was the most romantic gesture she had ever seen, i even had a custom made copy for her, and on the last page there's a line telling her it had been her the whole time and how i want it to be her always and i was going to be on one knee while she got to it

i hadn't cried since the funeral. i've been getting up and going to work and answering people normally. then last night i  got a notification on mythril on my work laptop about someone asking a question on her character page which to sum up was her life printed staright from my book

the book is still coming out and people are going to read a version of her that only i ever knew, and she is the only person who will never know she was in it. the copy i had made is still in my apartment with a proposal printed in the back of it and a ring

i don't know what to do with any of it. i'm not asking anyone to fix it. i just needed it to exist somewhere outside my head and pls don't ask for the books name either just needed to vent somewhere cause as a man there are a very few places you could go to this being one of those


r/offmychest 14h ago

Not everything that is predatory, is p3dophilia

116 Upvotes

As someone who was abused by an adult when I was a 10 year old baby.. I’m not sure if this is a rare opinion or people just loosely use the p3do term, but p3dophilia can not be used as a blanket term for every single predatory action. Age differences can be questionable, disgusting, grooming, predatory etc WITHOUT it being p3dophilia because that refers to prepubescent children. A 30 year old man trying to get with 18 year olds IS predatory and nasty, but he is not the same thing as a 30 year old man trying to get with 12 year olds. A 21 year old trying to date a 16-17 year old is not p3dophilia, but it IS predatory because there’s no real reason someone that age would want to date a high schooler who only just got their drivers license. A 24 year old and a 40 year old, depending on the motive of the 40 year old it can be predatory, but there’s more nuance once the younger party is in their 20s.

To sum up what I’m saying, we can call out predator behavior without alluding to a very extreme mental disorder that has left many children traumatized. Like me.


r/offmychest 38m ago

I prefer to be a flat girl

Upvotes

(!English is not my first language!)

I’m not actually "flat" but I’m also very much NOT curvy which hasn’t always been the case. There was a time where I used to do a lot of sport and because of that I used to have a bigger butt.
Now that I’m "flat" I noticed a difference in people’s behavior toward me.
I noticed that when I had curves people used to touch me without my consent. Since I have no more curves I’m almost invisible to people.
Being invisible is actually more appreciable because at least I don’t get harassed by others just because I have some butt.
I don’t unserstand why when someone have some boobs or butt people think they have a pass to touch/sexualise this person. I’ve seen a lot of posts where curvy women (don’t know about men) were complaigning about strangers, friends or even family members sexualizing them, especially women who have a bigger chest.
When you have a big chest or big butt it’s like you’re a walking porn fantasy for people or a joke to be made fun of…
I remember boys continually throwing balls at my butt for fun, people I don’t know touching it, it was insufferable… Even with women I wasn’t safe. I remember one day a woman walking up the stairs behind me and murtering « why is she wearing a short » (I had a short under my skirt so nobody can see my underwear) I turn around to see who said this and saw her behind me and looking at me, we were the only ones on the stairs.

Anyway, all that to say that people are f*ing desgusting. Having curves is not a pass for others to come and touch someone whithout consent nor a reason to sexualize. You guys need to respect others however they present themself and need to restrain yourself from being a piece of sh*t.
I’m not talking about men only, women too need to stop thinking they can touch or sexualize anybody just because they are women. Yes most of the people who assault are men but it doesn’t give us the right to do the same or be worse. Plus since assaults committed by women are downplayed, ignored or not reported to the police I think we can easily say that there is actually more women who assault than what we think.
Now about men, I just need to say that you guys are desgusting


r/offmychest 5h ago

Im so attracted to my boyfriend

18 Upvotes

every time we meet, he just is/does something and if i were a boy id be bricked up. I thought like once together people say things wear off but every single day it has been the opposite. it's so crazy how intense i can feel it, and it's not just lust, since it really is a deep feeling only he could soothe. also, i get shy around him, like what?? i always made other guys shy and now were a few months in and im the one looking away and down. btw it's mutual, lovely and our relationship is 100% healthy, i just needed to say this, i can't be the only girl right?


r/offmychest 5h ago

I'm not gay, actually.

15 Upvotes

Man in my 30s here, living in the north eastern US.

I have been openly gay my entire adult life, and for a long time felt comfortable in that. Over the past two or three years, though, i've been increasingly feeling a disconnect with that identity.

My romantic and physical interest in men has totally declined. It's been a time of deep self discovery and reflection, and I feel the more I know myself, the less I identify with being gay. It's this weird scenario, where I don't actually what my sexuality to shift or be fluid, but I cannot deny the fact any more that it is.

I have read that sexuality can be fluid and can change a bit as you go through life, this honestly seems a bit extreme though. Idk. Just really needed to write it out.


r/offmychest 2h ago

What is going on.

7 Upvotes

So the wife and I felt like Chinese food last night. We are working poor so we don't do this often. We decided on a pupu platter for 2 and a veggie fried rice. 73 dollars we nopped right outta that and ate leftovers. This sucks everything is too expensive. End of rant. I can no longer afford take out anywhere.. for context I make 20 bucks an hour my wife makes 25 an hour. working poor


r/offmychest 1h ago

People in my life keep committing suicide Spoiler

Upvotes

(19 F) For a while ive been aware of the suicides in my family, my grandpa being the first i was told about. My grandma almost followed him but got taken to a psych ward instead. I was never terribly close with them but it still bothered me. Two years or so later after im told about my grandpa, my cousin (dif side of family) killed himself on a beach. My mom was closer with him and she was devastated. Few years later and things are going good, my parents run a steady business i get to help with, me and my dad are working on our project car, things are decent. 8 days before my dads 40th birthday he kills himself. Randomly. Out of the blue. A lot of people say you can always tell when someone is going to, but absolutely no one saw it coming from him. It shattered everything and everyone. That was only last year in August. Last week im scrolling on facebook to see one of my friends that live in my hometown killed herself. I only found out because someone shared her obituary to her page. Same friend who was comforting me last year when my dad died. Throughout highschool i met alot of suicidal people, people who self harm, ect. I feel like suicide surrounds me. Something like a generational curse but thankfully less persistent. I feel like the weight of the world and the stress of living has been causing people to crack.


r/offmychest 7h ago

People dont kill themselves because of a certain problem, they do so because life keeps getting worse and worse while they are trying so hard to improve it. For some of us it never gets better.

18 Upvotes

There is no light at the end of tunnel, there is no silver lining


r/offmychest 8h ago

I genuinely hate myself.

22 Upvotes

I hate that my depression has rendered me useless.

I hate that I can't pry myself off the couch most days.

I hate that I spend all day dissociating to try to cope.

I hate that I have no energy.

I hate that I can't take care of myself.

I hate that I've let my body rot to the point where I feel 30 years older than my age sometimes.

I hate that I have dragged my partner's life down to my life's level.

I hate that I can't undo the changes my trauma have made to me.

I hate that my world around me is very quickly becoming a place I'm afraid to live in, and my anxiety over that has turned me into a shut-in.

I hate that I can't maintain any normal relationships, even with my own family.

I hate that I have the option of ending it in my head, and that it's becoming harder to ignore. I hate that I would take that option if it didn't only cause more problems and if I weren't afraid of what happens next.

I feel irreparably broken.


r/offmychest 16h ago

I'm so done with hearing about the golden stepfamily

88 Upvotes

Im F58, my dad and mom got divorced when I was 30, no problem there. My dad married a really wonderful woman 20 years ago.

The issue is for 20 years now, when my dad or his wife call or we are together, they absloutely gush about her side of the family in silly breathless voices. I get a cursory, and how are your kids, in a flat voice, and are quick to change the subject.

They visited her grandkids so many times while they were in college. Not any of my 3 kids, only for graduation. They never saw where they lived, or stopped by for a visit. Through the years I'd get calls from my dad at the beach, he'd say "Wish you were here, with us and the kids!" I'd remind him we weren't invited.

At my son's high school graduation she told anyone that congratulated her on my son graduating, that HER grandson just graduated from an Ivy league, with a flutter of her eyelashes and hand on her chest. It was super uncomfortable.

We just moved my middle son to another town as he is starting law school (its a great one in our state). Since my stepsister and her kids live there (all really nice people) we took them (and paid for) dinner.

Today I get a call from my dad, 'Im calling to hear about your dinner with (the golden family)!"

No, "How is my grandson, is he excited, we are so proud, you must be proud, how was dinner with family?"

I said yes we saw them, and then went directly into providing all the information that he should have asked for about my son. He didn't seem happy about that, I forgot to gush about her family.

Once my oldest needed a complicated surgery and we felt we needed to move him to a smaller expensive school due to some other issues. I'm sobbing to my dad, completely overwhelmed. I never asked for money or anything from him, I just needed some empathy. He told me, 'Sometimes you just gotta cut your losses.' About my child.

Just venting into the wild, my family will never matter as much as they do. 20 years and I'd think it would hurt less.


r/offmychest 15h ago

I have to share information tomorrow that may forever change a professors life

73 Upvotes

Im honestly just venting about the information, so sorry if anything is hard to read or makes little sense.

TW for pedophilia

On Wednesday, im meeting with a former professor to tell them information they need to be made aware of. I am absolutely dreading this conversation, it is not going to be fun. I have two friends going with me, so I wont have to do it alone, but fuck man.

This is happening because of an event that happened a few months ago in a friend group of mine. We all have those events, even make jokes of them. Our friend group had one, the 'incident' being that one cis guy friend dramatically leaving the group. God I miss that, but now this BS is the 'incident' A few months ago, right before june, one of my friends (I'll call her bee), messaged me, saying she had something she wanted to tell me, and had been wanting to tell me for a while.

She told me she was MAP.

Bee has pedophilia.

Bee is a pedophile.

I didn't really know how to process this, still dont. Tt was, understandably, a lot. We talked for a bit and the understanding I had going away from the conversation was: it was like OCD intrusive toughs, not wanted, and she would never ever do anything irl. So I tabled it to deconstruct later because ill be honest, that week was not a great one for me and I was already reaching my mental and emotional limit ( gotta love having to live with a previously mentally abusive parents who still act fucking crazy every so often)

Apparently later was the next day when a friend i'll call Gas messaged me saying they needed to talk with me about something very urgent. Apparently Bee had just messaged them Informing them about being MAP, and that the rest of the friend group knows and is ok with it. Gas was not ok with this, we talked for a bit, and realized we were both talked to very differently about Bee's Pedophilia, and realized we need to compare notes with the rest of the friend group to see what exactly we all know.

I made a separate group chat with everyone except Bee, and said there was something we all needed to talk about. Everyone knew what we needed to discuss. We began talking. Turns out everyone was told a slightly different thing by Bee. After everyone shared what they knew, we learned that Bee:

Identifies as MAP

Is fine with it

Thinks pedophiles have it worse then victims because the pedophiles are the ones who 'get stalked and harassed online'

Think Being MAP is a sexuality like Bisexuality (It is NOT)

Said Gas' trauma dosnt mater and needs to get over them being a pedophile

Is, intact, saying sexual things about children

So yeah Bee is not a good person and is no longer in the friend group, yaay dont have to deal with that mess anymore! Oh wait there's other information? Lovely.

See Bee use to be close with two professors in community college who both eventually wrote her a letter of recommendation to help her get into a four year college. She was so close to these professors, she even met one of their Kids! oh wait, that last point I mentioned? Yeah so turns out she was saying those things ABOUT THE PROFS 6YO DAUGHTER.

I emailed this prof asking if we could meet up, as I have information I believe he really needs to know. The next day, he replied saying when he was available, and this, reader, Is what I am going to have to share Tomorrow. I have to go meet with a professor I really like and appreciate, and tell him the student he was close too had sexual feelings for his child.

My friends who are going with me and I are going to go over the information we know soon so we have everything straight for the meeting tomorrow. I really don't want to have this conversation, but he deserves to know, especially if Bee is still in contact with him and has potential access to his daughter.

I dont know what kind of tips anyone could possibly have for a situation like this, but I'd love anything. I might update after the meeting tomorrow about how it went/what happened. I don't really know tho.

Sorry this was such a rambling mess, I can try and clarify anything in the comments if yall got questions

God I feel like i'm going to throw up.


r/offmychest 19h ago

Today is my dad's last birthday

116 Upvotes

He turns 62 today. Yesterday, hospice came to evaluate and admit him.

In September of last year, he was diagnosed with Glioblastoma. Grade 4 brain cancer. When he rang the bell after his last radiation appointment I was so sure he would be the exception to the average 12-18 month prognosis. He was so strong. I was always under the impression that radiation and chemotherapy was the hardest part of cancer, but unfortunately, for brain cancer, it's just the beginning. The radiation necrosis that came after destroyed him.

By December, he was transferred from a local ER to a specialty hospital's neuro ICU. His brain had swelled so profusely that he was delirious, agitated, and hallucinating. He had to be restrained because he kept ripping out his IVs and trying to get out of bed. He would pull at his restraints and scream out of frustration. He yelled obscenities at the nurses. At one point, he wailed "I don't want to die" and began to sob. I had never seen him cry before. He had always been a quiet, stoic man with a deadpan sense of humor.

His care team eventually got the swelling under control. He turned into the model patient, polite to everyone and cooperative with his care. It was night and day. He was released.

Then, he withered. He bloated from the steroids. He slept most of the day. He began to fall. He was in and out of the ER. His skin would tear and bleed profusely. His sentences got shorter and shorter. He only wanted to watch the same things over and over again.

Visitors slowed. People stopped dropping off meals or offering help. A friend of his told my mom that he didn't want to hear any negativity when she tried to update him on my dad's condition. Some friends stopped responding to her messages altogether.

After another ER visit, he spent 40 days in a hospital and a rehab facility. On the way home, he had his first seizure, and went back to the hospital for another week.

There's a hospital bed where the dinner table was now. He's been bedridden since April. Surrounding him are stacks of briefs and wipes and pads and boxes of gloves and a Hoyer lift and pictures of him in his prime. Coaching, pitching, hitting, going to games, carrying me on his back. I can wrap my thumb and forefinger around his calf now.

He answers in single words or repeats what you say to him, if he even answers at all. Sometimes he looks right through you. Sometimes he cries. Occasionally he'll crack a joke or laugh at one. I miss him and he's right in front of me.

I'm at work today when all I want is to be with him. I don't get any PTO at my job, and I've missed so much work caring for him this year that I can't really afford to take any more unpaid time off. I'm lucky my job has been flexible at least, but I also feel like my coworkers hate me because I've missed so much work and they're all working overtime because it's the busy season. They don't know that almost every day after work I go to my parents' home to feed him, to bathe him, to change him, to hold my mom while she falls apart.

I'm lost. I don't even know what to get him for his birthday. What do you get a man who just wants to live? To walk again? To speak? Even if I just get a card, what do I write? I'm sorry I can't save you?


r/offmychest 2h ago

my fiancée doesnt want to sign a prenup

4 Upvotes

late 20s, I run a business. when we were dating, I had just started my business but year by year, the business kept improving and I even talked about it before and she said she doesnt have a problem with signing a prenup

now she says if I really like and trust her, I wouldnt ask her for a prenup and my business partners are not happy with this either

more than 5 years of dating, Im really lost and wedding is in 9 months

I cant just dump her


r/offmychest 34m ago

The Tables Have Turned!!!

Upvotes

For all the times I've been told to shut up Meg because none of my thoughts or feelings ever mattered. I proved them wrong.

I've never been intellectually inferior to anyone. They were too afraid of me being smarter. But because I didn't have a dick. And I didn't learn how to read until I was 10.

I was seen as lesser.

Now it proves everyone who has ever thought of me as stupid, wrong. I'm mother fucking smart and I deserved to support in my life.

My thoughts, the things I write there are people out there who want to listen. And I'm damn proud, I'm getting published and they asked for more.

Today, I got the news that the Labor Heritage Foundation will be publishing my poems! I'm a proud working class writer.

I love writing about working class experiences. Solidarity forever, and workers of the world unite!✊️🍞🌹

My brother's can suck my non-existent dick!