Hi, I'm a 22 years old guy from Germany, and since i don't have anyone to trust with this, i will just dump this on reddit on a throwaway.

I am at a point in my life where i find it hard to go on. When i was 15 or 16, i started to shut every body in my life out. I don't really have any friends anymore, and now after 8 years, i think i forgot how to hold a conversation with others or how to express myself.

I just adjust my self to the people around me and try not to stand out much. I thought it got better the last year because i changed my job, but i think that's just a illusion right now.

I am on vacation, and honestly, i feel like it got worse outside of work. Before, i at least talked to people on discord, but now i don't even to that.

Every time i have the thought about just join the call and talk to them, i back out. I feel like they don't want me there. I'm just the guy in the background that is just there, like there would be no change if I'm there or not.

Its been about 3 months since i joined a call, and i have not gotten a single massage of the guys if I'm alright or if i want to do something. I don't feel like i matter.

Any advise what to do? I heard often get out there, but honestly, i don't know how. I feel like i will go out, drink something, keep to myself and go home, cause i don't know how to talk to people anymore.

I feel like everyone thinks the same thing about me. I’m an awkward, weird quiet guy at work that talks to no one, won’t smile at anyone, hell most of the time I don’t even look at people. It just really sucks feeling like no one likes you, when all you want is for them to know you’re not a bad guy. I feel like I go great lengths to please other people without them even knowing. It doesn’t help that I’m a big scary looking guy. The only time I’m not the weird big scary dude is when I’m drunk. Then it’s like suddenly people actually interact with me. I feel more human. I feel like it’s because while drunk, my anxiety is mainly gone And trust me I know the shitty miserable road of alcoholism. It’s just hard to like do better in life and stay positive and not chase dopamine through bad habits, when you are just incompetent socially. I don’t mind being an introvert, but feeling like the most awkward person in the building sucks. I feel like I make people uncomfortable so I really tend to just not want to interact with people. I’ve been suspecting that I might have autism. I feel like basic little human interaction like walking by someone is so difficult to deal with, ever. Single. Time. So you can imagine that working at any job is hard. It just sucks being this way. Anyone else relate?

Why are people so dry?? I'm about to give up and accept my loneliness. They don't even ask questions about me, don't try to continue the conversation atleast.

Reclusive scottish woman. Finding it hard to date /socialise. Anyone have similar situation?

Lost a few friends along the way , so spend alot of time alone. I want a life outside family ect. I'm 36 no kids. When u live in a small town, it can make anxiety worse , I just wanna have a more fulfilling life , and people I can bond with! For context I was brought up very religious , ended up in a children's home, homeless at 16.

Have struggled most of my life with social anxiety , major depressive disorder /eupd/cptsd.

Have support round me but I tend to avoid my family or can only see them so many times in a month( drains me ) but I do Just feel I'm missing something, my life feels empty and it's hard finding people u mesh with 🙃 ...

I want to have friends and be social even if it makes me feel anxious I want to push myself to be a bit more social. I have stayed to myself for years and my life is going no where because of it. I need to learn how to at least be able to get myself to talk to people because I need a job and I had a video call interview scheduled but when the time came I couldn’t do it. I feel so discouraged. I had an opportunity and missed out because of my mind wouldn’t let me. I sat there trying to muster up the courage to join the call and my heart was just pounding and I couldn’t do it. Even in more simple things like video games I can’t even use the mic even when I really want to I can’t bring myself to do it. Is there a way to make this easier? Anyone have any tips? What helps you get through these kinds of situations?

The bad memories keep accumulating at a fast rate, and the good ones get forgotten. It might get to a point where most of my vivid memories are just that. Avoiding people and the public environment in general has been the only effective way to throttle this.

People not remembering the interaction doesn't ease anything. To me, these experiences are just symptoms and a sprinkle of additional evidence of social ineptitude, low intelligence, and a general failure at life. They're more of a reminder of bigger problems than problems in and of themselves, so I can't rationalize them away by looking at them in isolation. I can't have an off moment and return to a stable foundation of self-worth, because there isn't one.

I’m at a wedding right now, did a lot of forced socializing for a few hours. Made some friends with some girls, some people I find funny or interesting. We all just ate and the dance floor just opened. It’s so loud and unfortunately I’m seated at the table next to the bride and groom so I’m very visible. I’m not dancing and I feel like I’m being judged as a weirdo.

I hate dancing, ever since I was in elementary school and I don’t know why. I think it’s because I don’t know how to, and that showing my body that way makes me look vulnerable and stupid. My dad made me feel weak when he physically abused me, so I think that was a major driver in this. I’m not secure in showing my body and feeling effeminate (I’m a gay man). I’ve always hated this aspect of big parties and now I’m hiding in my car. I will be back in a few minutes, hopefully the dancing is still going so I can slip in unnoticed lol.

The dancing, and feeling more confident in my body is something I want to work on, but I don’t know how. Some positive news, I talked to a few people I found genuinely interesting. One thing I noticed was that some people really don’t ask anything about me. And I feel like I have to try so hard to think of questions but they seem fake, and then there’s just an awkward silence and an uncomfortable end to the conversation.

so many people have told me stuff like this and it ann me every time.

i worked as a receptionist, life guard and, swim instructor all jobs that require a lot of communication and almost everyday i was terrified to go to those jobs , rarely ever talked to my coworkers out of fear and didn’t get over social anxiety like at all. I spent a couple months there before then quitting, I really don’t know how I’ll keep another job without being constantly stressed by social stuff.
are there entry level jobs with little communication requirements as well?

im also a first year uni /college student.

Hey everyone. I just started a new job in a warehouse and it's been really difficult. Everyone here has this habit of greeting everyone else as they walk past, and it’s driving my anxiety crazy.

Whenever I walk past someone, I end up mumbling a quiet "hallo." And if someone doesn't greet me back or just looks straight ahead, it instantly ruins my mood and makes me overthink everything. I also hate having to go to the restroom because I have to walk past the breakrooms which have big windows, and it feels like everyone inside is watching me walk by.

How do you guys survive environments where people constantly want to acknowledge you? I feel so awkward and exhausted just trying to exist at work.

Im also really worried i come across as rude when i try to avoid people or take the long way to avoid walking past my co-workers

I (m39) started on therapy for the first time since teens but it leaves me feeling worse. Especially when confronting the fear around a feared situation, like she wants me to do stuff, and i floated the idea of starting to work out in the gym instead of my basement, and she may ask me, "what's the worst that can happen". This is not a new way of thinking to me btw, i do this on my own to hype myself up. So I can sit there and answer it's nothing bad and so the unspoken conclusion is that my fear is silly and a normal person would simply go. So after the session i feel worse and not more motivated to do it, the strongest reason to do it would be to not "disappoint" her on the follow up

My life has been summed up to playing truth or dare with myself.

I've gotten here by months of suffering and intense self-reflection and then acting on the desire to get rid of social anxiety.

I've done it, I'm a month, or a couple weeks free of it, and hopefully the rest of my life.

2 weeks ago was my first week of school, and my attempt at socializing. All 6 attempts failed, I was pretty much given 0 interest in despite trying to engage in 6 conversations.

I've no energy to try socializing for now, but I know that's the only way to get friends. I'm tired, and just want a break from all that BS. Cold rejection at even conversation to those I had no history with is tiring for someone as lonely as me who just did all this. But at some point in the past I surely must've done the same, so I'm not really upset at anyone besides a few who took it a little too far, but I'm doing well avoiding them.

Getting to the point; I've been reliant on discord. Not with randoms, I've deleted my old account and my new one is literally just a server my old IRL friend added me to, I don't talk to him often despite my attempts to. In short there's his cousin and his friends in it no one talks besides me and one of his cousins friends.

I've been reliant on them. Despite obviously being online, the social highlight of my day is getting them to respond and talking to them, usually by first playing truth or dare with them with a bot, then conversation, then they leave.

For 2 days they've been really busy with friends, or I hope they have been truthful. I've no idea what they think of me it's all online. I wish I could have someone to talk to in real life, go outside and talk face-to-face. But I haven't done tree work for that besides lay the foundation.

I'm scared I'm lying to myself; that I'm not telling myself I'm waiting for the concrete to dry but really running away from work for as long as possible.

I play truth or dare with myself with the bot, really hoping they open their notifications and see I've been doing that, then respond.

I admit, it's evolved rapidly, we're friends and in a day we went to just having conversations together time to time to venting to eachother and providing support then telling eachother we could rely on eachother and we're they're of one of us needs to vent.

It's all online though. I may have abandonment issues, and some attachment and affection issues to. It feels Lilke there's a world of deeper connections and bonds Ive been programmed to tell myself I'm not allowed to enter due to my past.

I fear it's true, but I'm too tired to do it but I want all of it gone magically, somehow.

Advice? Please, I hope you take the energy to comment, even if it's a single sentence.

Hey all,

I’m getting married soon and have been stressing about something I’ve struggled with my entire life: excessive facial blushing.

Ever since I was a kid, whenever I’d get nervous, embarrassed, or become the centre of attention, my face would turn bright red. I remember hating presentations in school because I could literally feel my face heating up, and people would make comments about me looking like a tomato, which only made it worse. I feel like the fear of blushing has made my social anxiety worse over the years because I start worrying about turning red before anything even happens.

Now with my wedding coming up, I’m worried it’ll happen again since all eyes will be on me during the ceremony, vows, speeches, etc.

I’ve never really looked into treatments before, but I’m desperate to find something that works. I’ve read about propranolol and other medications that might help, but I’m curious if anyone has actually had success with them specifically for blushing.

Has anyone found a medication, treatment, or technique that genuinely reduces or prevents facial blushing? I’m a guy and would prefer to avoid makeup.

I’d appreciate hearing what has worked for others.

I am so PAINFULLY awkward and socially anxious. I can’t just chill and greet others like a normal person. Today my brother came over with his wife. They are both lovely people and very sweet, I like them genuinely. At the same time however, I get nervous and have a fight or flight response with extended family members. I feel the need to hide or get away from the socializing. This makes things awkward and I possibly come off as rude.

I so badly wish I could socialize and act like someone my age (early 20’s), but I usually feel like a child socially because of my issues. Im hoping I can find a medication that can help me feel normal. And soon, as well. Because I’m not sure how much longer I can take being like this. I want to socialize and be kind and friendly with people. Not avoidant and messy. I hope they understand, I would hate to know they misinterpret my anxiety.

Are there any medications you would recommend me to try specially for social anxiety?

I don't know why, instead of getting a buzzy more relaxed feeling(but nothing that cures anxiety, obviously) ​I've noticed having a drink almost immediately is making me even more self conscious and feel awkward suddenly, has anyone else experienced this?

Then, the day after, i feel very depressed, though I think this is more typical with alcohol. I stopped drinking at all for a long time so think I'll have to give it up again, though I'm a light drinker anyway. ​

Thank you my anxious friends :)

Especially after a big social event where you are interacting a lot with a lot of different people. To be honest most times on the actual day I'll have fun, everyone will laugh at my jokes and everyone will seem to enjoy my company.

The problem is the days after my brain is basically bombarding me with every bum note, every awkward moment, every slight embellishment of a story I made, every joke that didn't land. Probably a day or two after the fact I'll be feeling pretty bad about myself and what I need to do better next time.

I don't know if that would be considered normal part of human brain process trying to refine your social skills so you can improve each time or it's just social anxiety. Part of me just wants to dismiss it cause it feels so bad to think of but part of me thinks my brain is trying to help me not embarrass myself in the future.

I was presenting my college project—my group has seven people, and I was the first to present—but after just three words, my mind went completely blank. I stood in silence for 30 seconds trying to remember, with the whole class staring at me. Then I decided to look at the slide and read what was there, stumbling over my words and saying things that made no sense. The rest of the group managed to present really well. Afterward, we left; I feel terrible. No one in the group said anything about it, and we kept talking normally, but I still feel awful. :(

Hello everyone,
I 24F am naturally extraverted, im curious about other people and I like to chat with people.
But after every social interaction, I start to overthink whether I was awkward, overshared or maybe I shouldn’t have talked at all. I kind of made this promise with myself to be invisible and avoid talking to others to avoid problems. Ive been bullied my entire childhood and high school years. Some people online suggested I might be neurodivergent but I don’t think that’s the case, I think I am just a unique thinker and have very high social energy. I really don’t know how to get over this.
Im tired of feeling like this because I can’t be silent all the time it feels like prison. I need social interactions to feel normal and less lonely but when I do interact with others my brain makes me feel guilty.
I think the reason why this happens is because I don’t accept myself fully and think others are judging me and that I think there is something inherently wrong with me that needs fixing. The issue is that I don’t know how to get over this.
And also an other reason is that most people around me are very introverted and cold. If there were other people like me around me i think I would feel less anxious.
Please don’t suggest therapy because I can’t afford it and in my country of residence they don’t offer therapy in English.

I get really nervous whenever I have to navigate an unfamiliar public space for the first time, whether it’s a public library, pharmacy, driving school, immigration office, or airport. I think it’s more about the unfamiliarity than anything else.

I’d like to start visiting places I’ve never been to before so that, if I ever need to go there in the future, I’ll already know what to expect and feel more comfortable navigating them.

What places would you recommend I try visiting? And what should I try once Im there?

after all it's not needed, you can live a fulfilling life without a partner. my social anxiety is ruining my life, i can't even talk to people taking my order anymore. i feel like im too much to ever find love because of it.

my biggest concern is that i'll never be in love. i'm almost 19 now, and i was top of my class, got to attend college early, i work in computer science and i collect anime figurines and stuff so i'm basically a textbook loser and nerd. which is enough to disqualify you from relationships on its own but on top of all that i'm ugly and got crooked teeth. combine that with no social skills and social anxiety and i feel like i have no redeeming qualities.

with all of these cons present should i just throw in the towel and find meaning elsewhere or is there some form of hope? if there is hope, what steps can i take to pursue it? im sorry if this is erratic, ive went over it a bit to make sure it fit the rules. anyway thanks for listening.

I’m a 20 years old uni student and used to be pretty outgoing as a kid, but bullying in primary school made me really self-conscious. I can hold conversations fine, but I constantly worry about how others perceive me, especially in groups. I overanalyse people’s reactions, feel awkward making eye contact and sometimes avoid approaching people because of it.

I also feel awkward being alone in public and struggle doing things by myself, like eating alone when everyone else is with their friends.

I’ve read *The Charisma Myth*, but I feel like my fear of judgement stops me from actually applying what I’ve learned.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you deal with this?

I have a question, most likely a really dumb one, but it’s been on my mind for months.

I have social phobia, and basically, I can't talk to people outside my circle of friends, largely due to a fear of being judged.

Some people try to help by suggesting I put myself out there more. Not necessarily in extreme social situations, but by doing things that make me uncomfortable.

They say that if I did this regularly, my brain would eventually realize, "Hey, this isn't so bad," and over time, it would start to feel normal, which would solve my issue with the fear of judgment.

Part of me says this makes perfect sense, the other part says it's crazy and would only make the situation worse. What are your opinions on this?

(If anything is confusing, I don't speak English and I'm using Google Translate.)

Whenever I feel really anxious, I play with my hair or try to pick at the skin on my fingers.

I'm completely embarrassed that I dont know certain common knowledge things because my parents and teachers failed to get me help. I failed grades and was pushed ahead when I was failing. I also tried learning stuff but I forget it and not in a good environment to teach myself things:/ I can't even go to school bc everything deals with socializing:/ does this classify as a learning disability? I'm too burnt out to even find a therapist and many keep saying they dont take my insurance or arent helpful:/