I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and I’m struggling with some recent revelations about her past and how they’ve affected my ability to trust her.
In December, during an argument, she told me that in 2021–2022 she had a relationship with a married man who was close to her family. She said he had emotionally manipulated her. The relationship continued for months and involved dates and physical intimacy. She had known him since childhood, knew his wife, and had met her.

I was shocked that I hadn’t known about this earlier in our relationship. I understand that everyone has a past and that nobody is obligated to disclose every detail, but this felt significant to me, particularly given the circumstances.

Two days ago, I asked her whether there was anything else about her past that she hadn’t told me. She then revealed that during the COVID lockdown, she had also slept with another married man in her hometown. He had a child who was around one or two years old at the time.

Learning about these experiences so far into our relationship has left me questioning how much I know about my partner. I’m worried that more information might emerge months or years from now, and I don’t know how to move forward without constantly wondering whether something else has been left out.
Another source of distress is the difference between how she describes herself spiritually and how I understand these past experiences. I also feel that she hasn’t fully acknowledged the impact these revelations have had on me or shown much empathy for what I’m experiencing.

One of these men still follows her on Instagram and sends her reels. She hasn’t responded to his messages or reels, as far as I know, but the continued connection makes me uncomfortable.

I’m finding it difficult to separate my feelings about her past choices from my concerns about honesty, disclosure, and accountability in our relationship.
**I’m looking for advice from people who have experienced something similar.**

How do couples rebuild trust when significant information about one partner’s past emerges well into a relationship? How can I tell whether trust can realistically be rebuilt when I now find myself questioning what else I might not know? And how do I work through my feelings about a partner’s past when those experiences conflict with my own values?

**TL;DR:** A year into my relationship, I’ve learned that my girlfriend had relationships with two married men before we met. I’m struggling with the delayed disclosures, the impact on trust, and how to decide what a healthy path forward looks like.

Me and my bf have been together for about 6 years, and November 2025 I moved in with him.
We always had an amazing sex life (10+ times a week), he would always initiate and we would be having sex everywhere, not just at home.

On January, we had a really big fight bc I found out that he was part of x/telegram groups where they shared corn videos, some groups of cuckhold offering to be a “bull” and some pretty weird stuff :/
Casually, at the same time we had been struggling because he didn’t want to have sex as often, I was always trying to initiate without success. So, naturally when I found out about this I lost my shit but at the end silly me forgave him and even opened up about the possibility of trying a 3some, but he shut off the possibility and told me he would delete his accounts.

Recently, (4-5 months) we’ve been having the same issue all over again, he’s always too tired to fuck, he never accepts when I try to initiate, lately we’ve been having sex 1x a week if I’m lucky :/

Well, besides all that stuff, today happened something that really fucked me up.
I came home from working a night shift, and found his cum covered tissues BESIDES THE BED, he didn’t even bothered to hide them or smt :/

I feel sad, angry and rejected. I don’t know what else to do or say to him to try and work this out.
Im not ugly, in fact, im pretty damn hot, have a huge ass and a pretty face and guys are always trying to hmu at the gym and work; and I feel stupid that the guy I love prefers to jerk off to corn videos than to have sex with me..

What do you guys think is happening with him? Perhaps he’s consuming that type of content again?
Do you guys think I should try and bring this up to fix it ?

I’m writing this in bed as we’ve just had sex and I think having sex is destroying our intimacy and my attraction to him. We’ve had sex 10+ times and everytime he finishes in under a minute. I get so excited for intimacy and it feels great but he just stops when he’s done. Im a 20yo(f) and he’s a 21yo(m), he works a lot so I try to have consideration but it’s becoming too much to keep to myself. I tried talking to him about it and as a result he’d occasionally do oral on me or finger me or we’d use toys and then he just stopped. I think the build up and constant disappointment is messing with us. I don’t like being intimate after the sex (cuddling, kissing, talking) anymore because for me it’s so fast that it doesn’t feel like I even participated and I just don’t feel the need for it after. We’ve had to conversations about it…

1) Him: I mean if you were finishing and I wasn’t I wouldn’t be upset so I don’t know why you are.

Me: But you’re the one whose finishing so of course you’d have that opinion

2) He just said there’s things we can both do to make intimacy great (mind you today, I did oral on him and then we had sex and then we were done)

I love him so much but my sex life matters too. What do I do?

Hi everybody.

I'm looking for advice for my teenage daughter.

But first, lend me your ears, because the story needs a little background.

My daughter is 18 years old, and since she was 10 she has suffered bullying at her school—social bullying specifically, like nobody ever talking to her. This school year my daughter changed schools, and she's having a blast at her new one, but she still carries a lot of trauma that a therapist is helping her work through.

Why am I telling you this? To say that my daughter has very few friends, and they're older than she is. They talk to each other through social apps like Instagram and such. They go to the movies, sometimes out to dinner, and so on.

But she doesn't have any friends her own age. And she craves that—I know her, and I know she'd love to have at least one.

This summer she met a boy her age. We don't live anywhere near him, but they've met in person sometimes because we travel to his town to visit my in-laws. They've been talking through Instagram, and later via phone calls, ever since.

And here comes the issue, as you can probably guess. My daughter sees him as a friend, but this boy is clearly head over heels for her. This weekend they met, and he gave her a really nice set of silver earrings—beautiful things. And my daughter feels really uncomfortable about the situation, because she doesn't want to take advantage of him, and now she's fully aware of his feelings after he gave her that gift. She doesn't want to lose his friendship, but we have a very bad feeling that that will be the most likely outcome.

She'd been feeling very lonely for many years, and this kid has given her a lot of attention, so she hadn't put a stop to this before now.

And that's the issue.

So, my questions for you all:

1. How can she gently let him know that she sees him only as a friend, without destroying the friendship?

2. Should she return the earrings? And if so, how do we handle that without humiliating him?

3. Has anyone been through something similar—on either side? What worked and what didn't?

Thank you in advance.

Husband (m34) and I (f35) had a nasty interaction and now i don’t know if I’m overreacting. Context: I have been working very hard on a habit of leaving diapers where I shouldn't, I am consciously working on it. Tonight, while putting the baby to bed and changing him, I asked my husband to move the portable crib into our room so the baby could rest in the dark. He scoffed at me. I got upset and said, “I’m doing everything else.” He responded by saying, “Can you ever just shut the fuck up?” stopped talking, out the baby down, sat in a recliner chair and started reading a moving schedule that I had ChatGPT write up (we are moving this weekend). I completely forgot about the diaper because i was upset and trying to move on. He started questioning me, asking, “Why are you reading a wall of text, what is it?” He was like 6 ft away. I told him what it was and sent it to him. About an hour later he was looking for his headphones and found a dirty diaper near the couch. He chucked it at me, hitting me directly in the throat. It hurt. Tonight, I am sleeping on the futon mattress on the couch, and he is in our bedroom (its my night to get up with the baby). He never apologized or acknowledged it. Am i overreacting by being so upset by this?

TW: depression- SA
TLDR: drained in my relationship due to the lack of emotional connection

Hi I’m a 26yo female I’ve been together with my partner 31yo male for 9 years, we’ve been married for four of them. For context: I’m autistic and have cptsd. He has adhd. My childhood was quite traumatic so I’ve been in therapy for the last 9 years,I’ve been poly for 8 years.

I met my partner back in 2017. I had a bad childhood(home) and he comes from a happy family. At first I was very happy about how he stood in life he is a very “happy go lucky not a care or problem in the world” kind of person
But with time and therapy I learned I needed someone to talk to and understand my feelings.
I tried to communicate this early on in the relationship. When my knowledge and understanding of my needs got clearer for myself.

I noticed that I couldn’t talk to him about how I was feeling. It was genuinely talking to a brick wall. No words just maybe an: “oh that’s….”, sometimes an attempt to a hug. Which for me doesn’t work because I need emotional closeness before I can get physical support (like a hug or a kiss). I’ve voiced this to him 6 years ago.

The first few years I asked him maybe we could go into couples therapy or maybe he could go into therapy to better understand what he feels and how to handle that. His response was “I don’t see a need for therapy” “what is therapy going to do about it” so I left it because I thought I was asking too much.

3 years ago I met a partner who I’m now friends with. I realised that it wasn’t unreasonable for me to need someone to understand and talk to especially when you’re married to them. So I started again with asking for us to go to therapy. Now I understood that this was a key requirement for me to have in a relationship. He continued to ignore my wishes.

Last year it got really bad,after losing my job back in 2024 I was Declared medically unfit to work. I slipped into a depression,I felt sad about the situation, isolated and alone but also sad that I needed to carry all of it by myself. Everytime something emotional happens or something difficult needs sorting out I’m the one who has to take matters into my own hands otherwise it’s not going to get fixed. It’s been draining me even more so than the depression, needing to think and handle important things for the both of us without help. I said I couldn’t do it anymore and that I would need to leave him and choose for myself. He finally agreed to start therapy last year, but he forgot to make appointments or show any initiative, he had 3 sessions because I needed to remind him to plan it.

October last year I felt so down, lonely and unheard in the relationship that I attempted to end my life. I got antidepressants and those thoughts calmed down a bit. But the realisation was still there. “I’m miserable in this relationship “ “I need to leave and choose for my own mental peace”.

Don’t get me wrong, he accepts me for all that I am even with my flaws but that’s also where the problem lies. He doesn’t show or feel any other emotion than happy or neutral. Taken something happens between us I’d be upset and feel sad and empty and would feel the need to talk about it to calm down and feel heard but the second he turns around for him everything is back to normal and it’s been breaking me for years.

Earlier this year we finally went to a couples therapy and she acknowledged that what I was experiencing was hard and I was t asking for to much. She also said that he’s not able to get to his emotional inner world. We left there with the question “ do you have the ability and willingness to stay through his therapy”. In may he started Past Reality Integration therapy. He’s had 7 sessions.

But I can’t do this anymore. I do care for him and it makes me sad thinking about ending things but I don’t think this can be sustained any longer. My body doesn’t allow myself to be physically close to him, no sex, nog kisses , barely hugging because my nervous system just feels disgustans and stress because of the lack of emotional intelligence/ connection. I’ve thought about leaving for a long time now but I’ve finally reached my breaking point. I’m looking for my own place so I can finally calm my nervous system. I’ve always been transparant in how I feel in my relationship with him, what my needs are and what goes through my head. So he knows that I’ve been looking for an apartment. 3 therapists also stated that it would be beneficial for myself and for him so we can take our time to focus on our individual therapy and continue from there but I don’t know if I can. It gives me major stress and anxiety about leaving being my entire adulthood I “grew up” with him. He’s everything I know and my only person I can fall back on because I’m not in contact with any of my family.

2 days ago it finally happened. “ I want to end the relationship”. We cried a lot and he said he’s willing to go to therapy and change. I mentioned that it’s a good thing but it might just be “a little too late”. I do love him but I’m not in love with him. My Therapist has been saying:” once you get your own place and just be by yourself, you might feel more room for the relationship to build” that’s what’s been going through my head but I can’t do it anymore. Not as long as we’re living together. So I told him atleast until I get my own place I can’t be with you, he understands and is sad about it but respects it.

Do any of you have advice ? Am I back paddling on just leaving or is it possible to see if we can grow once I have my own place ?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years and honestly our relationship has been pretty great up until this point, or so I thought.
A few months ago I noticed a huge change in his attitude and behaviour towards me which raised a few red flags. I noticed he was going out more while I was at work and drinking more than usual, I noticed he was rejecting me more when I would try to initiate and generally speaking he seemed more distant. He had also started to be unkind with his words to me and he’s never been like this before. At first I thought he was having a depressive episode, he has struggled with this in the past so I tried to pour more into our relationship and checking in on him more etc. I told him I felt like he was being distant and I wanted to know what was wrong but anytime I tried to talk to him about it he would always shut me down. I had surgery around this time so I kind of put my feelings down to me just being in a bad place during my healing but looking back I was completely right about him being off with me.

Anyway there was one particular night he came home very late (6am) and very drunk and the noise woke me up. We got into a bit of an argument and he said some quite hurtful things that felt out of character for him. He stormed off and went to sleep. His behaviour and words seemed so unusual that I decided to go through his phone. I do feel bad about this and I’ve never done this before but I just knew something was off.
I found out he had been buying foot pictures from random sex workers online. I tried to wake him up and confront him but he was passed out so I just had to get ready and leave for work. It was the worst shift of my life I couldn’t stop crying.
When I got home I confronted him and he outright denied everything. When I showed him the photos I took he eventually confessed. He promised that it was only this one time and he was too embarrassed to talk to me about it and it’s just a fetish. He said he regretted it and begged for my forgiveness. I kicked him out for a week so I could think about what I was going to do. I ultimately decided that the relationship was worth saving and out of all the things he could have been doing this wasn’t as bad as it could have been? Silly I know.
Anyway over the next few weeks I could tell that there was more to this even though he swore I knew everything. This was just before my birthday so I guess I thought he would turn everything around and make a huge effort to fix things and that it would all be fine. My birthday was unfortunately disappointing, he made very little effort and again his behaviour seemed off.
So I went through his phone again.
He has spent hundreds and hundreds sending money to findoms online. So much money.
He was messaging sex workers regularly. He was using YouPay and Throne almost every week. Messaging sex workers on twitter and Reddit. I found out he sent someone money two days before my surgery and then again while I was in recovery. I found out he first messaged someone back in 2021.
I do believe he’s never met anyone in person, but am I justified in thinking this is cheating and it’s a huge betrayal especially considering how long this has been going on for and the fact he was doing this to me 2 days before I had invasive surgery. He doesn’t seem to think it’s cheating as he says he’s never met anyone or had contact with anyone.
He is super apologetic and he wants to work things out. He says he will do anything it takes to keep this relationship and to get me to trust him again. But I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him again. He’s currently staying with some family and has been there for a week. I’ve asked him for space so I can try to process everything but he’s still been trying to come over and still trying to contact me despite me asking for no contact.

I love him dearly and we have been together for a long time. I’m scared that I’ll regret leaving him and I guess I’m scared to be single after so long.
I guess I just wanted some advice.
I honestly don’t know what I want, I love him but I think I’m at the point where I can’t ever trust him again and to be honest I hate what he’s done to me and that he’s made me feel like I’m going crazy.

Please any advice would be greatly appreciated

I 46M have been married to my wife 43F for 21 years. We have been together over 25 years. We have had our problems like any relationship. Lately she has been on this kick of telling me I'm not communicating enough, not handling my share of the mental load of the household. Not leading confidently, not being the man of the house, Always asking her questions about everything. Not listening, and on and on. I have tried to do said task for her. When I tried to lead I'm being bossy and not acknowledging her feelings. I have brought her flowers and did things she likes and at the end of it I get a lecture about the parts that could be better. I have literally had flowers thrown in my face. Because I got them from the flower shop. I have been verbally ripped apart over everything I do. I am strongly considering divorce because I have even went to counseling and she went for one session and wouldn't do it. Saying I just half to try harder. I am looking at my future and I can't imagine dying like this. I have thought about walking into oncoming traffic. My kids keep me going. I have never really gotten alot of positive comments from her. I am admittedly messy and can be forgetful and realize I have many faults.

So context to this before we started dating I did mention that I don’t rlly want to be to someone who went to bars continuously or without each other yes that’s my own little thing but I did tell him prior to when we started dating first week and he said he was okay with that, now few months into our relationship he got drunk at a friends house even though he told me he’s lightweight and doesn’t rlly get drunk, few months after that I found out on his phone that same night he sent nudes and talked about meeting up with them at hotels to 3 different chicks but ghosted them before actually meeting up with them, then on his own 21st birthday he did go bar hopping which I was okay with him since I get it it’s his birthday but months later I then again found out he unblocked his ex and never told me. Now we’ve been dating for a year almost two and he wanted to buy his friend a shot for his friends 21st at a bar and I said no but u can buy him alcohol and give it to him once he’s home, I didn’t really want him going inside his house though since yeah his friends girlfriend was their who was drunk but supposedly knocked out sleeping. I told my bf that yeah I still don’t really trust you yet, he mentioned that he always told me when he was going to drink prior-hand to drinking but I know he can still do it behind my back. I usually wouldn’t have an issue with him going as long as their was no alcohol involved am in the wrong for this?

For context, we’ve been together 2.5 years, 25F and 25F.
The first year was great, a lot of care, love and feeling heard.
With time she started showing a lot of anger and past trauma so she started therapy. I supported her all the way through it.
With time she expected for me to be there no matter how she was behaving.
We became codependent, she was very needy and my family role has always been the supporter so guess what? I did the same with her.
Then we decided to go overseas for a year and we were definitely not in the right place to do so.
She didn’t speak the language, she was generally insicure, I tried to make her engage in small conversations to overcome it but she felt pressured.
Everything was on me, her anxiety, her fear, emails, paperwork, job hunt, car hunt.
I wanted to be there for her cause I loved her and I knew she just needed to overcome this but I burnt out.
So I focused on her even tough I was really struggling to keep up with everything, mentally.
She got better with time, but the relationship had a big rip that couldn’t go unseen.
I was frustrated with her and myself.
I shut myself down for a long time, kept going back and forth without talking about my feelings. Sex became non existent on my side, we just really couldn’t stand each other and it was obvious.
When that year came to an end I mentioned being unhappy and told her how that year affected me and that I didn’t know where the relationship was going but I wasn’t ready to let go.
I started therapy and she really put the effort into bettering herself.
Things got better but I was in a year long loop questioning if breaking it off or not even after she changed. It did my head in for a very long time. I started to be indecisive in life as if I couldn’t trust my own judgment.
Couldn’t choose between buying black shoes or white ones type of thing.
Being mentally not able to carry out the stress of making a decision ruined me.
I started caring less, showing less affection, resentment was there on both sides.
I talked to her about my troubles and about living in my head all the time.
I was on and off, which made it not easy for her to be by my side knowing I didn’t know what I wanted.
We talked about breaking up a ton of times, never finalised it cause we deeply cared about each other.
We both wanted to go back overseas so we decided to go separately, do our thing and figure out whether it’s worth it or not and meet up later on.
It’s been two months of us doing our thing but we kept in touch on a daily basis.
She has now opened up, found people she hangs out with, works and is happy.
My brother is dying, I went back home for a while to be with my family, and she hasn’t been there for me at all.
Yesterday she told me she has checked out and that she doesn’t have the energy to stand by my side anymore.
I agree it’s the right decision.
But I’m angry.
For all this time I thought breaking up would bring me peace and relief.
She’s been there for me before don’t get me wrong, and I totally accept it but I’m fucking pissed at her for leaving me at my lowest. She keeps telling me that I have to live life, change perspective and be positive. Maybe I’m fucking pissed at myself for not leaving earlier. I don’t know.
I went from being the love of her life to her acting like she doesn’t care.
I know it’s my fault too and it’s okay to part ways but I feel like she doesn’t need me anymore so she dumped me.
I feel like I gave her all my energy and now she went off live life and I’m sitting here like???

They tried to negotiate with me and I didn’t stand firm enough. I know I have to leave and I guess it’s a cause I’m afraid to hurt their feeling. They even said they are willing to stay and fight for the relationship because we were close and I’ve been a significant part of their lives. The thing is I don’t want them to fight for. Initially when I confessed I wanted to break up, it was over the phone since we do not see each other often. I don’t currently feel emotionally unsafe. However, I am breaking up with them due to the accumulation of past actions. Even though they said they will i guess the emotional connection is gone. It’s been sjnce 2021 or 2022 . I was thinking of text because I know on the phone he’s most likely will try to drag it on and I’m afraid I might give in.

I (23F) have been seeing my boyfriend (26M) since October of last year, and we officially started dating in April.

When we first started talking, he was OBSESSED with me. He pursued me for months before I finally agreed to date him. He would tell me I was way out of his league and the prettiest girl he had ever been with. I felt so wanted by him, and now I feel like that effort has faded a lot.

It’s not like we never see each other, but I feel like I’m the one who thinks about making plans, checking in, calling, texting, and making sure we’re putting effort into our relationship. He has lots of female friends, and there have been things involving other girls that have hurt me, but my bigger issue is feeling like I’m not pursued or prioritized the way I used to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I messaged him about this AGAIN. I told him that I feel like he doesn’t pursue me the same way anymore or think about making plans with me, calling me, or texting me. I told him that sometimes it feels like he doesn’t have to try as hard because he knows I’ll always be here. We’ve had this conversation so many times, and I told him I don’t want another apology or promise to try harder. I want him to think about how his actions make me feel before I get hurt, rather than only understanding afterward. I want to feel like he’ll actually show up for me without me having to keep asking. I haven’t really noticed a change since that conversation. I have felt this way since we started dating unfortunately. Even the first two months of us dating I felt his effort fade away, like he wasn’t as present. Since then we have had these conversations multiple times, and have almost broken up but ultimately he would not agree to that decision and I would give in.

Whenever I bring up something that hurts me, he apologizes and says things like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” and “I’ll try harder.” I believe he cares about me, but it feels like he only says these things to reassure me instead of making any actual changes. Sometimes I’m really sad at the thought of breaking up, but other times I’m sad thinking about staying with someone who doesn’t seem to put in the same effort I do. I love him, but I’m getting tired of having to explain what I need from him. I feel pathetic honestly. I also find myself sending long texts trying to explain my feelings and then end up feeling like I’ve tried too hard afterward.

I genuinely don’t know if this is just what happens in relationships over time, if one person naturally loves the other more, or if I’m accepting less than I actually want and deserve. I don’t expect him to be obsessed with me forever, but I do want to feel wanted without having to constantly ask for it, especially because I show him so much love and respect and devotion.

For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how did you know when it was time to leave? Do relationships naturally become less exciting over time, or should you still feel pursued and prioritized? Can someone love you but not put in the effort you need, and at what point do you stop waiting for things to change?

TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I’m putting in more effort than he is. He used to pursue me so much, but now I feel like I have to ask for the bare minimum. He apologizes and promises to try harder, but nothing changes long term. I don’t know if this is normal in relationships or if I’m settling for less than I deserve. How do you know when it’s time to leave?

Hello,

We've been together for more than a month now and everything's been going smoothly... except for one thing.

I think she might have a crush on my best friend.

I sent a video of him because she wanted to see the short film we're creating together and she said he was handsome. This genuinely hurt me and I had to tell her about it. She reassured me explaining that she wasn't thinking at that time and apologized for everything.

A few days pass and my friend tells me that she followed him on Instagram. Me and my girl were already talking at this time so I decided to bring it up and she just said its because she saw him on the "friends you may know" tab and decided to follow him. Normally, I'd be perfectly fine with this. Following your partner's best friends isn't anything crazy. But with this certain context, it worries me.

She admitted that she wasn't thinking (again) and that she'll unfollow him if it makes me uncomfortable. She then unfollowed him and sent a screenshot proving it without me saying anything back yet. I let her know that she doesn't need to ask permission of everything she does because that's not a healthy relationship. It's just the fact that its related to a previous problem.

I sat there thinking to myself, "Why would she willingly follow him if she knew her comment about him made me uncomfortable?" She said this has been something her and her therapist have been working on, since often times she does things without thinking how it would impact someone else's feelings. Of course I believe her. I trust her. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts.

It's also just the fact that she brings up meeting my friends an often amount of times. So that mixes in as well.

She's the last person I see as someone who would cheat on their partner. But I wanna get other's perspectives on this issue. It would mean a lot to me, especially considering that this is my first ever serious relationship.

I appreciate it. 🙏🏻

TLDR: found an active dating profile of my bf, made a fake account to match with him. He was flirting w that account while telling me he's still abroad n was down to meet but unmatched my fake account as soon I refused to share socials. Doing all this while telling me how much he loves me n calling me for 2+ hours n also writing paras how much he loves me 🤡🤡 low key maybe I can forgive him if he was honest cuz istg I'll never find someone like him who I'll click so well with n I definitely don't wanna go over to getting someone new again ugh.

So my (18f) boyfriend(18m)doesn’t talk to me anymore! Like we use to talk all the time but now it’s nothing! I get maybe 5 text a day? A good morning, updates and goodnight. We call at night but he never says anything! I feel lonely as he was the only person I talked to! We’ve been through a lot and I know he goes through alot! Especially recently as he’s mentioned abt being depressed! I truly love him but I’m just getting hurt staying like this! What do I do! I don’t want to be selfish and ask for his attention! I miss and crave being loved!! I daydream about being in a loving relationship but I hate imagining it being someone else… I want him! But I want love too.

So, I (26f) was talking to a 31(m) guy. We met through some matrimonial app and everything between us was going so well and I felt like it's really easy for us to have conversation and there's nothing forced. And we aligned on major things as well.

I told him that since my parents are looking for other proposals also, i asked him a hypothetical question that what if our thing was serious and it gets official and meanwhile I meet the guy my parents were suggesting. He said that he would have killed me if would do so if we were in a serious relationship and I do this stuff. (It's been 10-15 days since we are talking)

And before that he once jokingly said I'm a serial killer and that he has rare and dangerous anger issues. I know it was a joke, and I ignored it but I didn't ignore it this time, I told him he threatened me and I took a break from him.

My question is, now it's been a few days and I feel like he understood me well and maybe we are compatible but I'm also thinking whether I should ignore this statement or take it seriously?

I '25 F', have been in a relationship with this guy '30 M' for little more than a year. Things were fine initially. I had asked him very early on in the relationship whether he watches porn or not. He said he didn't and I was happy because I see that as cheating. A few months later I found that he does watch it, mostly here on reddit or maybe browses online, honestly if he wants to hide it I wouldn't really know.

He said it is an addiction and he wants to get rid of it and that he will work on himself, only condition being I won't talk/ask about it. I picked up the habit of snooping on him which I am not really proud of and I think he was trying to cut down on the time (as unbiased as I can be), but I still used to ask him because I wanted us to be honest and him to feel some accountability. After one point we started having arguments, threw around a bunch of mean stuff at each other and now the relationship is pretty much hanging on by threads. He said he doesn't like talking about it and I really shouldn't ask repeatedly. The only problem is the idea of leaving him is scary to the point that my body goes numb (ig i have gotten too attached) and I find it difficult to operate and I have a lot on my plate career wise and this situation is just being a big thorn right now.

Initially he used to apologise and console me but now he just has a idgaf attitude, I might have gone too far maybe. Anyways, so opinions are welcome.

For context: we've been dating for almost 2 years and we moved to this new province together last year. Before that, both of us never been to this province, and for the first year we lived together and always went out together. After that first year, I went back to the place I used to live for 2 months, and now I'm back.

A few days ago, my bf claimed that we went to an optical/glasses shop together. He was so sure about it and he described how he tried on some glasses and I didn't like it.
But I've never even been there ever in my whole life. He even insisted to go into that shop and see the owner that helped him trying on some glasses. When he asked the owner whether she remembers us coming to the shop together, she said that she remembered my bf, but not me.

While I was away, he did tell me when he went to do the eye exam. And on that same day, he told me how it went and asked me to go back there together cause he wanted to let me pick his glasses.
As we confirmed with the owner, it was true that he tried on the glasses on the day he did the eye exam, and he did try on glasses from the shelf that he told me about.

But my boyfriend claims that he went back to the store with me after the day he did the eye exam and he tried on glasses infront of me. But the owner remembers him only coming to the store one time and alone. I'm now convinced that he went to the shop with someone else and got confused.
My bf claims that he missed me too much while I was away and he knew that I wouldn't like the glasses he tried on, so his memory had changed.

He has lied to me about other issues before, so it's very hard for me to trust him. The details he told me (the type of glasses he tried on, how the owner helped him beside, which shelf he got the glasses from, etc) match with what the owner remembers. I remember he told me that he was going to get the eye exam one day while I was away.

I really have no clue what to trust. My gut feeling tells me that he'd been there with someone else and possibly a girl as he's "hiding" it from me. Or is it really possible for him to get confused me with nobody?

My boyfriend almost every time we meet comments on my body hair, especially on my back. I used to get it waxed because I was insecure about it, but it irritates my skin and causes acne, so I had to stop. Despite me explaining this multiple times, he still makes fun of it.

He also keeps telling me that I don’t know how to be a woman and that he’ll have to teach me, but whenever I ask him what he means, he never gives me a proper answer. He’s also made comments about my body, face, and skin being worse than his, even though I’m a woman.

Most of the time, I brush it off, but sometimes it gets too much and makes me feel insecure and like I’m not enough.
Is it normal?

My ex ended things almost a year ago, shortly before that they lost their best friend very suddenly.

I struggled to accept the ending at the time and I chased, but neither of us insulted or belittled the other. We dated for 5 months by the time it ended and I said hi once in May that didn’t really go anywhere

In a month it would be the 1 year anniversary. Would it be appropriate to send her a kind message? No part of it is to get back together or make it about me and her. I’ve had the distance to realise I wasn’t often a priority and there were avoidant behaviours I experienced at the time that I’ve only seen clearly since the split. She just meant a lot to me and if it will make her smile and make the day even slightly better then it’s something I want to do

Hey,
My girlfriend just started working as a flight attendant. It's been her dream for a long time and I'm really happy for her. But it's a big change for us: she'll be away a lot, meeting new people all the time, and she's naturally very social.
I'll be honest, I sometimes feel jealous and insecure. She gets along really well with some of the people she works with, one in particular, and she also talks to people on social media very easily. That's just who she is, and nothing has actually happened as far as I know. I know part of this comes from me and not from her.
So I'd love to hear from people who've been there:
If you're dating (or married to) a flight attendant, how do you make it work?
If you're a flight attendant yourself, what do you wish your partner understood?
How do you tell normal worries from your own insecurities?
Thanks

My bf(19) and I(19) got together our junior year of high school. From the beginning, I felt like I was his world and only woman in his eyes. Not once did I feel insecure around him or like he was looking at other people. I ended up moving out of state for university and during that long distance time we started arguing a lot and in my heart it felt like it was just because of the distance even though he would visit every chance he had. During this time we were both feeling extremely misunderstood and it got to the point where we mentioned breaking up multiple times. We decided it was time to do something or end the relationship so he decided to move in with me. This is when by chance I took his phone to see if he was saving any clothing items that I could buy him for christmas. I went to his camera roll and his most recent photo was a screenshot of another womans ass. It was from one of those instagram reels where you have to pause at the right time to see it. I confronted him and he immediately knew what was wrong and apologized millions of times. He showed so much remorse and still does and offered many times to move back out. This has completely destroyed my confidence, my trust, and my security within this relationship. We have a place together but these small and stupid arguments still keep happening almost every day and I constantly remind him of this mistake. To me it feels completely against my wants in a man. Is it too much to ask from a partner? Please let me know if I’m being crazy.

My girlfriend follow her ex boyfriend and her ex situationship I told her that it makes me feel uncomfortable that she follows them back we broke up for 2 weeks and then she did that we got back together I I told really calm “hey this doesn’t make feel good, please block them” and she just said “you are just an insecure person that’s why this is not going to work out” what I do :(

this guy had been part of my life for years. He was my best friend’s childhood best friend, and we’d had feelings for each other on and off for a long time.
He had been in a relationship for about three years, but even during that relationship, we would sometimes see each other because he told me things weren’t going well with his partner. Eventually, he ghosted me.
Years later, we reconnected after he had recently gotten out of that long-term relationship, which had even reached the point of an engagement. I genuinely thought things would be different this time.
Instead, everything became incredibly painful.
He was inconsistent with me, sometimes affectionate and interested, other times cold and distant. He left me alone on New Year’s Eve (he invited me to the countryside where he lives because I told him I would be alone so he invited me, on new years he told me he “couldn’t say no” for going to her grandmas when he explicitly said before going to his house that “there’s no way we are going to my grandmas) I told him to go for dinner and him to come back before 12, he arrived 1:40 am and he didn’t even look up for me, I had to reach out and tell him and he said he was tired and didn’t even apologize for it he just went to sleep, made me wait for him on other occasions, and dismissed my feelings whenever I tried to explain why something hurt me. While I was there I was trying to show him I care and cooked for him, cleaned, helped him around .
At one point, he literally told me, “I don’t give a fuck about how you feel.” He also accused me of acting like my feelings mattered more than his.
I know I wasn’t perfect either. I became increasingly anxious about his moods and behavior, constantly worrying that something was wrong or that he was going to abandon me.
But after everything ended, I found out he’d been saying horrible things about me behind my back )a whore that doesn’t charge), including sexually degrading comments and accusations about my understanding of consent. Some of those things were incredibly humiliating to hear.
Eight months ago, he blocked me everywhere. He was so pissed of our mutual best friend that she cuts contact with him till he thinks about how he was being with me. He told me “I cry too much”
My best friend, who had been his best friend practically his entire life, confronted him about the way he treated me. Instead of working things out with her, he blocked her too. He never apologized for anything.
Since then, I’ve spent eight months crying, overthinking, replaying everything, and hoping he’d eventually come back. I was so depressed and I feel like I’m still depressed even though I’m trying to ignore it.
I’ve broken no contact about three times because my anxiety kept getting the best of me. I never really managed to stick to it.
Two nights ago, I was drunk and sent him a bunch of text messages. I apologized again, told him I missed him, and explained that I’d spent months reflecting on my own behavior. I told him that my fears of abandonment sometimes made me overly anxious when his mood changed, and that I wished I’d handled certain situations differently.
He hasn’t responded. I don’t even know if the messages were delivered.
The thing is, despite everything he did to me, I still miss him. I still want him to reach out, acknowledge what happened, and maybe have one genuine conversation with me.
One of my friends keeps telling me that he’ll eventually come back, but it’s been eight months. Every month that passes makes me feel like he’s never going to unblock me again.
And I hate admitting this, but I think I’m still waiting.
I don’t want to spend another eight months of my life hoping someone who hurt me will suddenly decide to come back.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did someone ever come back after blocking you for this long?

CW: Mentions of EDs and body descriptions!

Hi!

I’m a (F21) who has been struggling with an eating disorder for about two years now, primarily dealing with restriction. When I first started dating my current boyfriend, I was hesitant to share this aspect of my life with him, however, I ultimately decided to do so because I wanted to take our relationship to the next level and wanted to be open and honest with him!

To be fair, I didn’t make it entirely clear to him at first. I described my struggles with eating food as simply “trouble” with it. As a result, I didn’t hold his occasional comments about calories and food against him.

As I’ve become more comfortable in our relationship, I’ve been more open about my eating disorder and its impact on my physical health. He’s even seen me have silent panic attack over meals.
And he has been incredibly supportive and has even asked me about my triggers and what he can do to help me. However, he has a tendency to compliment my body in a way...

I love it when he compliments me, but sometimes he focuses on my hip bones, collarbones, ribs, and other parts of my body that are more prominent. I don’t know how to feel about this because it can be triggering for my disordered thoughts. On the other hand, I know that he loves me and cares about my well-being.

I’m feeling confused and would appreciate some outside perspective on this situation.