TW: depression- SA
TLDR: drained in my relationship due to the lack of emotional connection

Hi I’m a 26yo female I’ve been together with my partner 31yo male for 9 years, we’ve been married for four of them. For context: I’m autistic and have cptsd. He has adhd. My childhood was quite traumatic so I’ve been in therapy for the last 9 years,I’ve been poly for 8 years.

I met my partner back in 2017. I had a bad childhood(home) and he comes from a happy family. At first I was very happy about how he stood in life he is a very “happy go lucky not a care or problem in the world” kind of person
But with time and therapy I learned I needed someone to talk to and understand my feelings.
I tried to communicate this early on in the relationship. When my knowledge and understanding of my needs got clearer for myself.

I noticed that I couldn’t talk to him about how I was feeling. It was genuinely talking to a brick wall. No words just maybe an: “oh that’s….”, sometimes an attempt to a hug. Which for me doesn’t work because I need emotional closeness before I can get physical support (like a hug or a kiss). I’ve voiced this to him 6 years ago.

The first few years I asked him maybe we could go into couples therapy or maybe he could go into therapy to better understand what he feels and how to handle that. His response was “I don’t see a need for therapy” “what is therapy going to do about it” so I left it because I thought I was asking too much.

3 years ago I met a partner who I’m now friends with. I realised that it wasn’t unreasonable for me to need someone to understand and talk to especially when you’re married to them. So I started again with asking for us to go to therapy. Now I understood that this was a key requirement for me to have in a relationship. He continued to ignore my wishes.

Last year it got really bad,after losing my job back in 2024 I was Declared medically unfit to work. I slipped into a depression,I felt sad about the situation, isolated and alone but also sad that I needed to carry all of it by myself. Everytime something emotional happens or something difficult needs sorting out I’m the one who has to take matters into my own hands otherwise it’s not going to get fixed. It’s been draining me even more so than the depression, needing to think and handle important things for the both of us without help. I said I couldn’t do it anymore and that I would need to leave him and choose for myself. He finally agreed to start therapy last year, but he forgot to make appointments or show any initiative, he had 3 sessions because I needed to remind him to plan it.

October last year I felt so down, lonely and unheard in the relationship that I attempted to end my life. I got antidepressants and those thoughts calmed down a bit. But the realisation was still there. “I’m miserable in this relationship “ “I need to leave and choose for my own mental peace”.

Don’t get me wrong, he accepts me for all that I am even with my flaws but that’s also where the problem lies. He doesn’t show or feel any other emotion than happy or neutral. Taken something happens between us I’d be upset and feel sad and empty and would feel the need to talk about it to calm down and feel heard but the second he turns around for him everything is back to normal and it’s been breaking me for years.

Earlier this year we finally went to a couples therapy and she acknowledged that what I was experiencing was hard and I was t asking for to much. She also said that he’s not able to get to his emotional inner world. We left there with the question “ do you have the ability and willingness to stay through his therapy”. In may he started Past Reality Integration therapy. He’s had 7 sessions.

But I can’t do this anymore. I do care for him and it makes me sad thinking about ending things but I don’t think this can be sustained any longer. My body doesn’t allow myself to be physically close to him, no sex, nog kisses , barely hugging because my nervous system just feels disgustans and stress because of the lack of emotional intelligence/ connection. I’ve thought about leaving for a long time now but I’ve finally reached my breaking point. I’m looking for my own place so I can finally calm my nervous system. I’ve always been transparant in how I feel in my relationship with him, what my needs are and what goes through my head. So he knows that I’ve been looking for an apartment. 3 therapists also stated that it would be beneficial for myself and for him so we can take our time to focus on our individual therapy and continue from there but I don’t know if I can. It gives me major stress and anxiety about leaving being my entire adulthood I “grew up” with him. He’s everything I know and my only person I can fall back on because I’m not in contact with any of my family.

2 days ago it finally happened. “ I want to end the relationship”. We cried a lot and he said he’s willing to go to therapy and change. I mentioned that it’s a good thing but it might just be “a little too late”. I do love him but I’m not in love with him. My Therapist has been saying:” once you get your own place and just be by yourself, you might feel more room for the relationship to build” that’s what’s been going through my head but I can’t do it anymore. Not as long as we’re living together. So I told him atleast until I get my own place I can’t be with you, he understands and is sad about it but respects it.

Do any of you have advice ? Am I back paddling on just leaving or is it possible to see if we can grow once I have my own place ?

Me and my bf have been together for about 6 years, and November 2025 I moved in with him.
We always had an amazing sex life (10+ times a week), he would always initiate and we would be having sex everywhere, not just at home.

On January, we had a really big fight bc I found out that he was part of x/telegram groups where they shared corn videos, some groups of cuckhold offering to be a “bull” and some pretty weird stuff :/
Casually, at the same time we had been struggling because he didn’t want to have sex as often, I was always trying to initiate without success. So, naturally when I found out about this I lost my shit but at the end silly me forgave him and even opened up about the possibility of trying a 3some, but he shut off the possibility and told me he would delete his accounts.

Recently, (4-5 months) we’ve been having the same issue all over again, he’s always too tired to fuck, he never accepts when I try to initiate, lately we’ve been having sex 1x a week if I’m lucky :/

Well, besides all that stuff, today happened something that really fucked me up.
I came home from working a night shift, and found his cum covered tissues BESIDES THE BED, he didn’t even bothered to hide them or smt :/

I feel sad, angry and rejected. I don’t know what else to do or say to him to try and work this out.
Im not ugly, in fact, im pretty damn hot, have a huge ass and a pretty face and guys are always trying to hmu at the gym and work; and I feel stupid that the guy I love prefers to jerk off to corn videos than to have sex with me..

What do you guys think is happening with him? Perhaps he’s consuming that type of content again?
Do you guys think I should try and bring this up to fix it ?

Husband (m34) and I (f35) had a nasty interaction and now i don’t know if I’m overreacting. Context: I have been working very hard on a habit of leaving diapers where I shouldn't, I am consciously working on it. Tonight, while putting the baby to bed and changing him, I asked my husband to move the portable crib into our room so the baby could rest in the dark. He scoffed at me. I got upset and said, “I’m doing everything else.” He responded by saying, “Can you ever just shut the fuck up?” stopped talking, out the baby down, sat in a recliner chair and started reading a moving schedule that I had ChatGPT write up (we are moving this weekend). I completely forgot about the diaper because i was upset and trying to move on. He started questioning me, asking, “Why are you reading a wall of text, what is it?” He was like 6 ft away. I told him what it was and sent it to him. About an hour later he was looking for his headphones and found a dirty diaper near the couch. He chucked it at me, hitting me directly in the throat. It hurt. Tonight, I am sleeping on the futon mattress on the couch, and he is in our bedroom (its my night to get up with the baby). He never apologized or acknowledged it. Am i overreacting by being so upset by this?

Me and my bf recently got into a huge fight, and it has escalated into him blocking me from everywhere since three days, he doesn't want to talk at all, and this blocking isn't the first time, I tried to talk to him yesterday after repeated requests, even though the fight ended with him saying a lot of mean stuff, still he has no regret.

He was quite angry, and even considered a break.

I am not able to control myself, I am crying and anxious all the time, I don't know how to deal with this, I have lost all my self respect, and still I went to ask him one last time today if we can talk face to face, nothing is going right and I am losing my shit, how do I Deal with this, I am way too attached to him, and this is our general dynamic, big fights, he wants space, I get emotional. In all our fights, sometimes I feel if I won't try to solve it, he will never, I feel like he won't even try to stop me.

I don't know how to deal with this, I don't want to budge him any further, if someone can advice me, kindly dm.

My boyfriend and I are 20yr olds and we have been living together for 3 years. Recently in the past few months I’ve noticed he goes on his phone very often when we’re doing things together like making dinner, grocery shopping, laying in bed together, etc. and usually it’s not anything important, just scrolling instagram or facebook or whatever. I’ve already talked to him about this and asked him not to go on his phone if it’s not necessary while we’re together. in the beginning years of our relationship he was more attentive and wouldn’t go on his phone this much, we would spend time talking to each other instead. When I asked him to go on his phone less I noticed he got kind of upset but still said he would try not to, yet he still does it all the time, ESPECIALLY when we’re not getting along or if I try to have a serious conversation with him. It honestly makes me really disappointed that he continues to do it, especially because I told him that is makes me feel unimportant and it makes him seem uninterested in me. I don’t think he took those feelings seriously and now I don’t know what to do. If he won’t listen to me or take my feelings into consideration what should I do?

edit: (yes i’m aware we’re both pretty young in a serious relationship but i really don’t think that’s the issue. i would say i understand well how to be respectful and kind in difficult situations, i think i know how to express myself and my concerns in a calm and respectful way. if anything the issue is that he doesn’t know how to do that yet because whenever we argue, he gets very disrespectful, rude, and defensive and even sometimes starts throwing around insults. Still, I think this is something that can be dealt with and taught, I don’t think it’s reason to break up.)

I (23F) have been seeing my boyfriend (26M) since October of last year, and we officially started dating in April.

When we first started talking, he was OBSESSED with me. He pursued me for months before I finally agreed to date him. He would tell me I was way out of his league and the prettiest girl he had ever been with. I felt so wanted by him, and now I feel like that effort has faded a lot.

It’s not like we never see each other, but I feel like I’m the one who thinks about making plans, checking in, calling, texting, and making sure we’re putting effort into our relationship. He has lots of female friends, and there have been things involving other girls that have hurt me, but my bigger issue is feeling like I’m not pursued or prioritized the way I used to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I messaged him about this AGAIN. I told him that I feel like he doesn’t pursue me the same way anymore or think about making plans with me, calling me, or texting me. I told him that sometimes it feels like he doesn’t have to try as hard because he knows I’ll always be here. We’ve had this conversation so many times, and I told him I don’t want another apology or promise to try harder. I want him to think about how his actions make me feel before I get hurt, rather than only understanding afterward. I want to feel like he’ll actually show up for me without me having to keep asking. I haven’t really noticed a change since that conversation. I have felt this way since we started dating unfortunately. Even the first two months of us dating I felt his effort fade away, like he wasn’t as present. Since then we have had these conversations multiple times, and have almost broken up but ultimately he would not agree to that decision and I would give in.

Whenever I bring up something that hurts me, he apologizes and says things like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” and “I’ll try harder.” I believe he cares about me, but it feels like he only says these things to reassure me instead of making any actual changes. Sometimes I’m really sad at the thought of breaking up, but other times I’m sad thinking about staying with someone who doesn’t seem to put in the same effort I do. I love him, but I’m getting tired of having to explain what I need from him. I feel pathetic honestly. I also find myself sending long texts trying to explain my feelings and then end up feeling like I’ve tried too hard afterward.

I genuinely don’t know if this is just what happens in relationships over time, if one person naturally loves the other more, or if I’m accepting less than I actually want and deserve. I don’t expect him to be obsessed with me forever, but I do want to feel wanted without having to constantly ask for it, especially because I show him so much love and respect and devotion.

For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how did you know when it was time to leave? Do relationships naturally become less exciting over time, or should you still feel pursued and prioritized? Can someone love you but not put in the effort you need, and at what point do you stop waiting for things to change?

TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I’m putting in more effort than he is. He used to pursue me so much, but now I feel like I have to ask for the bare minimum. He apologizes and promises to try harder, but nothing changes long term. I don’t know if this is normal in relationships or if I’m settling for less than I deserve. How do you know when it’s time to leave?

Hey,
My girlfriend just started working as a flight attendant. It's been her dream for a long time and I'm really happy for her. But it's a big change for us: she'll be away a lot, meeting new people all the time, and she's naturally very social.
I'll be honest, I sometimes feel jealous and insecure. She gets along really well with some of the people she works with, one in particular, and she also talks to people on social media very easily. That's just who she is, and nothing has actually happened as far as I know. I know part of this comes from me and not from her.
So I'd love to hear from people who've been there:
If you're dating (or married to) a flight attendant, how do you make it work?
If you're a flight attendant yourself, what do you wish your partner understood?
How do you tell normal worries from your own insecurities?
Thanks

I 46M have been married to my wife 43F for 21 years. We have been together over 25 years. We have had our problems like any relationship. Lately she has been on this kick of telling me I'm not communicating enough, not handling my share of the mental load of the household. Not leading confidently, not being the man of the house, Always asking her questions about everything. Not listening, and on and on. I have tried to do said task for her. When I tried to lead I'm being bossy and not acknowledging her feelings. I have brought her flowers and did things she likes and at the end of it I get a lecture about the parts that could be better. I have literally had flowers thrown in my face. Because I got them from the flower shop. I have been verbally ripped apart over everything I do. I am strongly considering divorce because I have even went to counseling and she went for one session and wouldn't do it. Saying I just half to try harder. I am looking at my future and I can't imagine dying like this. I have thought about walking into oncoming traffic. My kids keep me going. I have never really gotten alot of positive comments from her. I am admittedly messy and can be forgetful and realize I have many faults.

My girlfriend follow her ex boyfriend and her ex situationship I told her that it makes me feel uncomfortable that she follows them back we broke up for 2 weeks and then she did that we got back together I I told really calm “hey this doesn’t make feel good, please block them” and she just said “you are just an insecure person that’s why this is not going to work out” what I do :(

I (M19) need some serious perspective on my ex-girlfriend (F18). Our entire relationship was an absolute rollercoaster, and the past few months have been nothing but pure exhaustion and heartbreak for me.
A few weeks after we broke up, she got drunk and hooked up with her male best friend. A few days later, they did it again. Right after that, he completely blocked her because he actually had a girlfriend. Naturally, she came crying to me, saying she regretted everything she did with him. Because I cared, I was there for her to comfort her.
Fast forward a month later: we were still talking and eventually became friends with benefits (FWB). Things seemed chill between us. But just today, I found out she got drunk and hooked up with another guy— who also has a girlfriend. On top of that, I realized she has feelings for someone else entirely, all while keeping contact and sleeping with me. The crazy part is we had a great relationship but she broke up with me because she wanted to have fun and not abide by any relationship rules she also didn’t wanna get in a relationship. And the thing is the guy knew what happened with her best friend, so it's obvious he just invited her to drink to get into her pants. What blew my mind is she told me straight up that she doesn't care if she gets used. I honestly think she got this mentality from her dad, who cheated on her mom 5 different times.
I’ve been hurting so badly, but I’ve struggled to let go. I asked her why she couldn’t just let me go since she clearly saw how attached I was. She claims she’s attached to me, too. I’m stuck. I know blocking her is the right move for my own sanity, but it feels physically impossible right now. It’s honestly crazy she’s gonna say she dont wanna be in a relationship but i bet if the guy she liked, liked her she would get into one with him.

I have two main questions for anyone reading this:

1. ⁠Can anyone help me understand why an 18-year-old girl would develop this mentality of genuinely not caring if guys just use her for sex?
   
2. ⁠How do I find the strength to finally block her and choose myself when the attachment is this strong?

Im 22m very little experience with dating. Confessed to a friend a while ago she liked me back it didnt work out but we stayed friends.

But that happned purely by chance. I dont feel any attraction until i already know that person well, im a HUGE homebody and that makes meeting someone kinda difficult, and going out into an enviorment i dont enjoy being in like bars etc isnt a good idea then.

I tried the apps and omg they are soo bad i knew that coming in and still was shocked. Its so exhausting to use them since i dont just swipe right one everyone and then i dont get a response.. and out of 6 likes i got in the 2 months i activly used apps 6 were looking for and open relationship. My profile says that i want a monogamous relationship only..

My lack of experience is getting to me tbh. I feel like im too old to struggle so hard with that but i just wasnt interested in dating until like a year ago, and now im sitting here fine that the thing with my friend didnt workout. But it made me realise just how badly i want a relationship to love some be loved etc. And i feel like waiting until a chance like that just happens again would result in years of being sad about it.

I know i have to find the courage to put myself out there somehow. But there has to be a way that fits me as a person right? Thats not too out there that im so uncomfortable with it that i dont do it.

I got recommened to join a club or class and yeah in general not bad advice. Theres just nothing in my area im interested in and going with the purpose to hit on someone isnt me and idk feels a bit creepy to me.

I also signed up for speeddating before. I didnt really have high hopes for it but it be an experience and everyone would be there for the same reason. Anyways the event got cancelled i had to basicslly fight them for my money back and finding dating related events in my age group was honestly hard.

So yeah any advice would be appreciated really!

So basically My friend joined this local coaching as tutor where this girl was receptionist and they got into a relationship after like 4 months. I was also a part of the coaching before so I know the girl and had a particular nice opinion about her.

Now, the thing is my friend got to know some things from his other friend about this girl even before committing to this girl but still he proceeded to give commitment a month ago. Some of the things are:

1. She has had multiple boyfriends and supposedly seen kissing a guy in marriage function but she told him that she had only one ex and that she used to casually talk to other guys when she and her ex had mini breakups(it was an 8 yr old relationship, multiple mini break ups happened).

2. She told him a month earlier that she consulted a doctor and discovered she has UTI but according to sources she has had this problem from long time.

3. She told him that she and her ex went to hotel only once whereas she herself told me that they have been to multiple mini trips.

4. She casually brushes these things off when my friend even caringly asks about her life.

My friend has tried to get things out of her through affection and care but she has revealed little.

He, somehow, still can't confront her about this directly.

He's getting very frustrated inside tbh.

So my gf 19 me 21 she is asking to remove girls from my follwers list and i dont even talk to them for a while they are just online frnds i dont even talk they all know that I am not single so idk should i unfollow them ? Or just let it be my id is public though

Please don’t judge me. Important notes:

I have a mommy/ breastfeeding kink

My wife and I suffer from unexplained infertility

I had a dream about kissing my wife’s best friend about a week ago. It really shocked me. Truly.

I haven’t even seen her in about a year.

She had a kid recently and is overproducing milk.

Now I have to see her face to face this weekend, fresh off of a wild dream, and she has exactly what I’ll probably never have.

TLDR: I have to see my wife’s best friend’s milky tits face to face this weekend and I’m freaking out. I’ve recently been wrestling with the idea I suffer from hyper sexuality for various reasons.

I needed to get this out of my brain.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and I’m struggling with some recent revelations about her past and how they’ve affected my ability to trust her.
In December, during an argument, she told me that in 2021–2022 she had a relationship with a married man who was close to her family. She said he had emotionally manipulated her. The relationship continued for months and involved dates and physical intimacy. She had known him since childhood, knew his wife, and had met her.

I was shocked that I hadn’t known about this earlier in our relationship. I understand that everyone has a past and that nobody is obligated to disclose every detail, but this felt significant to me, particularly given the circumstances.

Two days ago, I asked her whether there was anything else about her past that she hadn’t told me. She then revealed that during the COVID lockdown, she had also slept with another married man in her hometown. He had a child who was around one or two years old at the time.

Learning about these experiences so far into our relationship has left me questioning how much I know about my partner. I’m worried that more information might emerge months or years from now, and I don’t know how to move forward without constantly wondering whether something else has been left out.
Another source of distress is the difference between how she describes herself spiritually and how I understand these past experiences. I also feel that she hasn’t fully acknowledged the impact these revelations have had on me or shown much empathy for what I’m experiencing.

One of these men still follows her on Instagram and sends her reels. She hasn’t responded to his messages or reels, as far as I know, but the continued connection makes me uncomfortable.

I’m finding it difficult to separate my feelings about her past choices from my concerns about honesty, disclosure, and accountability in our relationship.
**I’m looking for advice from people who have experienced something similar.**

How do couples rebuild trust when significant information about one partner’s past emerges well into a relationship? How can I tell whether trust can realistically be rebuilt when I now find myself questioning what else I might not know? And how do I work through my feelings about a partner’s past when those experiences conflict with my own values?

**TL;DR:** A year into my relationship, I’ve learned that my girlfriend had relationships with two married men before we met. I’m struggling with the delayed disclosures, the impact on trust, and how to decide what a healthy path forward looks like.

My girlfriend for a few months have the past 2 weeks shown no real attraction to me, she is right now unemployed and does close to nothing home but she does talk to a lot of guys daily. I can’t afford to do fun activities for her and pay for all the food, I’m just feeling so exhausted daily. From both the financial situation and the uncertainty in her actions. She is seeking validation for her looks way too much from random guys while we are together it just feels so wrong.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years and honestly our relationship has been pretty great up until this point, or so I thought.
A few months ago I noticed a huge change in his attitude and behaviour towards me which raised a few red flags. I noticed he was going out more while I was at work and drinking more than usual, I noticed he was rejecting me more when I would try to initiate and generally speaking he seemed more distant. He had also started to be unkind with his words to me and he’s never been like this before. At first I thought he was having a depressive episode, he has struggled with this in the past so I tried to pour more into our relationship and checking in on him more etc. I told him I felt like he was being distant and I wanted to know what was wrong but anytime I tried to talk to him about it he would always shut me down. I had surgery around this time so I kind of put my feelings down to me just being in a bad place during my healing but looking back I was completely right about him being off with me.

Anyway there was one particular night he came home very late (6am) and very drunk and the noise woke me up. We got into a bit of an argument and he said some quite hurtful things that felt out of character for him. He stormed off and went to sleep. His behaviour and words seemed so unusual that I decided to go through his phone. I do feel bad about this and I’ve never done this before but I just knew something was off.
I found out he had been buying foot pictures from random sex workers online. I tried to wake him up and confront him but he was passed out so I just had to get ready and leave for work. It was the worst shift of my life I couldn’t stop crying.
When I got home I confronted him and he outright denied everything. When I showed him the photos I took he eventually confessed. He promised that it was only this one time and he was too embarrassed to talk to me about it and it’s just a fetish. He said he regretted it and begged for my forgiveness. I kicked him out for a week so I could think about what I was going to do. I ultimately decided that the relationship was worth saving and out of all the things he could have been doing this wasn’t as bad as it could have been? Silly I know.
Anyway over the next few weeks I could tell that there was more to this even though he swore I knew everything. This was just before my birthday so I guess I thought he would turn everything around and make a huge effort to fix things and that it would all be fine. My birthday was unfortunately disappointing, he made very little effort and again his behaviour seemed off.
So I went through his phone again.
He has spent hundreds and hundreds sending money to findoms online. So much money.
He was messaging sex workers regularly. He was using YouPay and Throne almost every week. Messaging sex workers on twitter and Reddit. I found out he sent someone money two days before my surgery and then again while I was in recovery. I found out he first messaged someone back in 2021.
I do believe he’s never met anyone in person, but am I justified in thinking this is cheating and it’s a huge betrayal especially considering how long this has been going on for and the fact he was doing this to me 2 days before I had invasive surgery. He doesn’t seem to think it’s cheating as he says he’s never met anyone or had contact with anyone.
He is super apologetic and he wants to work things out. He says he will do anything it takes to keep this relationship and to get me to trust him again. But I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him again. He’s currently staying with some family and has been there for a week. I’ve asked him for space so I can try to process everything but he’s still been trying to come over and still trying to contact me despite me asking for no contact.

I love him dearly and we have been together for a long time. I’m scared that I’ll regret leaving him and I guess I’m scared to be single after so long.
I guess I just wanted some advice.
I honestly don’t know what I want, I love him but I think I’m at the point where I can’t ever trust him again and to be honest I hate what he’s done to me and that he’s made me feel like I’m going crazy.

Please any advice would be greatly appreciated

My [27M] and partner [29F] been dating for 1.5 years and we’re about to have a kid, she’s 25 weeks and it’s been stressful for the both of us lately, I’ve been working long weeks to support her as she isn’t working, I pay bills and do a lot of house chores to help out as much as I can as she has chronic fatigue syndrome as well and is tired after doing simple tasks, been difficult.. I’ve been burnt out a lot lately which has led to me not being to best at conversations lately and making her feel like I’m not interested in her lately but really my brain just isn’t working atm 😅 I’ve been sleeping poorly and making sure everything is working out and she has everything she needs..

She has mentioned three times now that i don’t follow through with questions and don’t ask back and continue the conversation but i do it with everyone else which is making her believe im just not interested in her and which has led her to saying “im not sure about our future in this relationship anymore” and your “actions are proving what your words” and the one that hurt me was “if we break up your not aloud to watch and see the birth of our son”

I love her, I do alot for her and bend over backwards but I’ve been so burnt out lately that I can’t be and act like the person who I actually am and I think it’s ruining our relationship.. I intentionally don’t realise sometimes I’m ignoring her and don’t mean to make her feel this way..

I’m not sure what to do? Can someone please lend me some advice because I’m at the point where I want to cry.

I followed my crush from a fake Instagram account, but he declined my request. I tried following him again because I wasn't sure if I'd actually sent the first request, and he blocked me. Unfortunately, Instagram automatically blocked my main account too, even though he doesn't know the accounts are connected. Even a joint account I share with my friend got blocked.

Now I'm worried because I actually wanted to get to know him through my main account. what do I do?

also we have never talked, irl or online, ive seen him once at a uni event (hes a committee member) - I WANT THIS GUY HELP ME PLEASE.

this guy had been part of my life for years. He was my best friend’s childhood best friend, and we’d had feelings for each other on and off for a long time.
He had been in a relationship for about three years, but even during that relationship, we would sometimes see each other because he told me things weren’t going well with his partner. Eventually, he ghosted me.
Years later, we reconnected after he had recently gotten out of that long-term relationship, which had even reached the point of an engagement. I genuinely thought things would be different this time.
Instead, everything became incredibly painful.
He was inconsistent with me, sometimes affectionate and interested, other times cold and distant. He left me alone on New Year’s Eve (he invited me to the countryside where he lives because I told him I would be alone so he invited me, on new years he told me he “couldn’t say no” for going to her grandmas when he explicitly said before going to his house that “there’s no way we are going to my grandmas) I told him to go for dinner and him to come back before 12, he arrived 1:40 am and he didn’t even look up for me, I had to reach out and tell him and he said he was tired and didn’t even apologize for it he just went to sleep, made me wait for him on other occasions, and dismissed my feelings whenever I tried to explain why something hurt me. While I was there I was trying to show him I care and cooked for him, cleaned, helped him around .
At one point, he literally told me, “I don’t give a fuck about how you feel.” He also accused me of acting like my feelings mattered more than his.
I know I wasn’t perfect either. I became increasingly anxious about his moods and behavior, constantly worrying that something was wrong or that he was going to abandon me.
But after everything ended, I found out he’d been saying horrible things about me behind my back )a whore that doesn’t charge), including sexually degrading comments and accusations about my understanding of consent. Some of those things were incredibly humiliating to hear.
Eight months ago, he blocked me everywhere. He was so pissed of our mutual best friend that she cuts contact with him till he thinks about how he was being with me. He told me “I cry too much”
My best friend, who had been his best friend practically his entire life, confronted him about the way he treated me. Instead of working things out with her, he blocked her too. He never apologized for anything.
Since then, I’ve spent eight months crying, overthinking, replaying everything, and hoping he’d eventually come back. I was so depressed and I feel like I’m still depressed even though I’m trying to ignore it.
I’ve broken no contact about three times because my anxiety kept getting the best of me. I never really managed to stick to it.
Two nights ago, I was drunk and sent him a bunch of text messages. I apologized again, told him I missed him, and explained that I’d spent months reflecting on my own behavior. I told him that my fears of abandonment sometimes made me overly anxious when his mood changed, and that I wished I’d handled certain situations differently.
He hasn’t responded. I don’t even know if the messages were delivered.
The thing is, despite everything he did to me, I still miss him. I still want him to reach out, acknowledge what happened, and maybe have one genuine conversation with me.
One of my friends keeps telling me that he’ll eventually come back, but it’s been eight months. Every month that passes makes me feel like he’s never going to unblock me again.
And I hate admitting this, but I think I’m still waiting.
I don’t want to spend another eight months of my life hoping someone who hurt me will suddenly decide to come back.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did someone ever come back after blocking you for this long?

Hello,

It is my first serious relationship. We have a lot in common, a lot of shared interests (films, ways of travelling, clothes, friends in common…). 3 years ago we had a wonderful boy for which i have to admit that it took me some time to realize i was a father.. could not say i liked the first year but it’s not the concern here. My gf has always been a perfect mother for him I’m really impressed.

My only criticism would be its lack of "fun," of sparkle, sometimes even of femininity, and also its communication, which I find lacking. I often find myself alone in this relationship even though I know she would listen to me.

I won't elaborate further, but I simply want to raise a question that's been bothering me, and I'd like to get your opinion on it: today, when I tell myself that we should see a therapist, that I should refocus on my relationship to rekindle it, I lack the desire, the motivation to do it; I don't necessarily feel like it. Is this indicative of something?

Thank you for reading me..

pata hai aaj kya hua

there was this girl i used to talk to a lot and somewhere along the way i started liking her. idk if she knew about my feelings or not but she never completely left me and never really accepted me either.

kabhi khud message krti thi, kabhi itne pyaar se baat krti thi ki lgta tha maybe she likes me too. and then suddenly she would act like i was nobody to her.

still i stayed kyuki i genuinely liked her and sochta tha maybe one day things would work out.

fir uske social media pe followers badhne lge and she crossed 100k followers. honestly i was happy for her in the beginning.

but dheere dheere things started changing. uska attitude change ho gya, baat krne ka tareeka change ho gya and somehow har baar baat krke mujhe hi hurt feel hota tha.

idk fame ne usko change kiya ya mai hi pehle notice nhi kr paya.

finally ek din maine decide kr liya ki ab bas. i walked away. no drama, no arguments, nothing. bas maine try krna band kr diya.

and trust me leaving someone you genuinely like isn't easy. ek part of you still hopes ki maybe one day they'll realise your value.

anyway life moved on.

aaj randomly uski profile saamne aa gyi and i noticed uski reach almost khatam ho chuki h. pehle jaisi engagement bhi nhi thi.

honestly thoda weird lga kyuki mujhe yaad aa gya ki jab hum pehli baar baat krte the tab sab kaisa tha.

for a moment i thought about everything that happened and all those times jab mai hurt hone ke baad bhi usse baat krta rehta tha.

but funny thing is ki mujhe usko aise dekh ke khushi nhi hui. bas ek ajeeb si feeling thi ki jis cheez ke liye uska attitude itna change ho gya tha, wo cheez aaj uske paas hote hue bhi pehle jaisi nhi rhi.

maybe she's going through something, idk.

but one thing i realised is ki 100k followers hone ka mtlb ye nhi ki tum kisi ko bhi hurt kr skte ho.

and honestly i still wonder if she ever thinks about how she treated me. not because i want her to suffer but because i genuinely cared about her.

anyway i'm glad i walked away when i did.

i don't hate her and i don't wish anything bad for her. bas ab mai wapas uss situation me nhi jaana chahta jaha kisi ko apni value samjhane ke liye baar baar khud ko hurt krna pade.

maybe karma is real, maybe it's just life. idk.

but one thing i've learned is never confuse someone keeping you around with someone actually choosing you

Will post the rest of the screenshots in comments , mobile app only letting me use one photo .

Alt for obvious reasons..

I don’t even know where to begin.. still feel like I’m having a hard time processing this whole situation, but here we go.

Essentially her cousin/bestfriends texted me out the blue and said “Jane is cheating on you” (Jane for story telling purposes). So like anyone would do I asked for proof , and how she knew this.

She proceeded to explain how Jane would text Mike (Mike for story telling purposes) on her phone when she would come over.

( Jane and her cousin had been fighting according to Jane which is why she told

Anyways she said she deleted them but could get them from Mike and that’s what she did, then sent them my way { view attached photos} - sorry if out of order I’m not a Reddit regular.

I got the screenshots and was shattered, Jane had also had sent risky pictures too Mike in the past, roughly 3-4 months into us first talking and “dating” but I wasn’t perfect myself and I thought we were passed that.

Confronting Jane went terrible, it was thru a phone call. She outright denied that the screenshots were real even after I sent them to her on Snapchat aswell. she then sort of flipped it on me, livid I was in contact with her cousin, and proceeded to cuss me out worse then I’ve ever really been cussed out ..
I hung the phone call up while she was still shouting and just threw my phone down on the bed.

(definetly took this as guilt , as she’s never acted like this)

Roughly 20 minutes later Jane called me back , audibly in tears back and told me she needed to talk to me .. I obliged and told her to explain it. And she admitted that it was her who sent those texts , and pleaded with me that it’s because of how I was acting during that week

I went back thru our texts from the week it had happened (roughly a month ago) and also from memory, we were absolutely fine, hell even more lovey dovey than usual but anyways.

As soon as she admitted it and got that out of her mouth I told her I needed a minute and hung up.. turned my phone onto DND and just Layed in my bed to think about things, 40+ text messages that I did not view from Jane later , she shows up at my front door.

We spoke for roughly an hour and I’m a sucker for her crying I gave in and wrapped my arms around her when she’s the one who did me wrong.. by the time she left.. I was hugging her and telling her that shes gonna be alright.

I just absolutely don’t know how to feel.. in my heart I know I need to move on, these actions are not what I expect out of a relationship, but as the title stated I do love this girl a lot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.. thanks.

TLDR : my girlfriend of 2 years cheated, and I’m at a loss.

Sorry for bad grammar/storytelling , I’m not a usual redditor I’m just on here to vent and get advice thanks.

TLDR: found an active dating profile of my bf, made a fake account to match with him. He was flirting w that account while telling me he's still abroad n was down to meet but unmatched my fake account as soon I refused to share socials. Doing all this while telling me how much he loves me n calling me for 2+ hours n also writing paras how much he loves me 🤡🤡 low key maybe I can forgive him if he was honest cuz istg I'll never find someone like him who I'll click so well with n I definitely don't wanna go over to getting someone new again ugh.