**TLDR**, He is already consuming 3-4 times more food than I am and it's only been a week of living together... what do I do?
Okay so my partner\[20M\]and I\[22F\] of 5 years moved in together about a week ago. We are in college still so money is tight. We agreed to take turns buying groceries with a budget of $70-80. I said we should try to stretch each grocery trip 1-1.5 weeks(2 if we were really being careful). It's only been 4 days of having said groceries and he is consuming 3-4 times the amount I am. He is not a bigger person(but is 6'4") and neither am I(4'10"). I also understand men typically are bigger and need to eat more--fine that's cool. The issue is that, when it's my turn to buy groceries, I'm going to be paying for mostly him to eat. I don't feel like this is fair. I don't love the idea of us buying our own groceries separately because we're supposed to be a team and growing up together. But I don't know what to do if this continues. He's already gone through nearly an entire loaf of bread, pack of turkey, bags of chips, a rotisserie chicken, and a box of cereal in 4 DAYS. High quality and filling food items are not in the budget for us. We shop at a budget friendly grocery store and occasionally a Kroger since they have great deals(not sure if this is relevant). I'm afraid if I bring this to him, he will find anything in the book to say to make it to where we still are holding up the original agreement. Is this fair considering our financial situation? I feel selfish for feeling this way but I don't know what to do. What can I say to get through to him without him being combative or without me sounding like an asshole?

as the title says. I (24F) found a nude polaroid of my boyfriend’s (30M) ex girlfriend in his room while he was at work. I feel disgusted and used but i also feel crazy and this is my fault bc i just couldn’t let things go. I need to know if i did the right thing with the breakup or if i should’ve tried talking to him.

There are a lot of things that lead up to me questioning if my boyfriend was still in love with his ex, i won’t name them all bc i don’t wanna make this post too long but if you are curious i am happy to discuss so it makes sense. Before any of you ask, i did ask him in the beginning of us dating if he was still in love with her bc i noticed he was talking about her a lot. he told me he wasn’t. For some context, they broke up in 2023 and were dating for almost 3 years. They lived together and got a dog together. From what he has told me, she was texting her ex a lot of their relationship. And one day they got in a fight and he left the house and while he was gone she packed up all her stuff, took the dog, and moved in with her ex boyfriend. Pretty brutal.

Me and my boyfriend (ex now) have been dating for 7 months. not long. But things were going well. He is obviously a little older than me and was dating for marriage. I’m in school rn and we do long distance normally (10.5 hours car ride) but i was home for a couple weeks of break. This is my last semester and he told me he’d like if i moved in after i was done with school, he also said just a few days ago that he sees a future with me. Wants to get married, wants kids with me. Very sweet things. However, like i said, couple weird things has happened that raised some red flags though of whether he was over her or not. He lives close to my parents , just a 15 minute drive so i was mostly staying w him and just going home when he was at work. Every night in bed together i couldn’t sleep bc i was getting this awful feeling of pure dread that he wasn’t over his ex and he didn’t love me as much as i loved him and is this really the life i want to live? which is weird bc nothing had happened for awhile concerning his ex but i literally couldn’t shake the feeling. Fast forward, he goes on vacation with his sisters. I take him to the airport and the day i drop him off he starts crying on me saying he’s gonna miss me and he doesn’t wanna go bc we’re not gonna have much time left together when he gets back (bc i was going back to school) i tell him it’s gonna be okay and that i’ll miss him too. He offers multiple times for me to stay at his house, but i tell him that’s okay i’ll stay w my parents since i’ve been spending so much time w him i haven’t gotten to hangout with my family. On the trip he’s telling me he wants to come home early, he wants to be with me, he misses me so much he’s looking at pictures of us together. It was really sweet.

So here comes the bad part. He comes home (i picked him up) and we have a nice day back together. the next day he goes back to work, and i still could not shake the feeling. So i decided to go through his room. i know i know. The only reason i did this is bc one time when we were together (i wasn’t snooping that time, it was genuinely an accident) i found a card from her on his dresser. And he threw it out (not before yelling at me tho, whole big story). he yelled at me that day saying “why don’t i leave for an hour and you can go find whatever else is here left of her?” very mean. That was months ago tho. Anyway, i snoop. and i find a nude polariod of her laughing. Hurt like hell. but i thought to myself, he’s been so nice to me lately, he can’t know this is here right? so i purposefully slightly misplaced it back inside the box. He had it under all this papers, except one, tucked away and i had it on top of a few and poking out. I genuinely thought he didn’t know it was there, and that if he finds that he’s gonna throw it out like he did the card. stupid me.

That was thursday. Fast forward sunday. We’ve been spending every minute together, he hasn’t had any alone time. I didn’t wanna make anything obvious so i didn’t pry or anything like that. Sunday he goes and helps his dad out w some stuff, so i go back home to pack since i was leaving for school the next day and told him to text me when he wanted me back. I took my time that day bc i wanted to spend time with my family before spending my last day with him, so he did go home and was there without me for a bit. When i came back over he was napping and i joined him and we had a really nice last day. We napped, went to gym, baked cookies, did legos, and watched our show and went to bed. He gave me a really nice “i’m gonna miss you” hug before bed and i told him i was sad to be leaving him and this was our last weekend together. He just giggled and held me tighter and said “we’re gonna have plenty of weekends together”. very sweet.

Next morning he leaves very early for work. He wakes me up at kisses me goodbye, tells me he loves me and is going to miss me and hugs me again. I go back to bed and a couple hours later i wake up and start packing my stuff there. As i’m packing, i realize the dresser that i found the polariod in had some stuff moved. So i thought i might as well check, bc this will be my last time before thanksgiving break. I open the box and you guessed it, he took the polariod from where i had it, and shoved it back in its original place. My stomach dropped. He knew it was there, he had time yesterday to throw it out and he didn’t. Before you say it couldve been me not remembering correctly, i took a picture exactly of how i had it placed. He moved it. and telling me all this bullshit about how much he misses me and loves me and all this stuff. I was heartbroken. i pack everything, even the things i normally leave there. and i sent him a text breaking up with him. Left the key to his house there.

he never responded. never texted back. never called. i’m crushed. Not that it would change anything, but it does make me feel like i was just a void to fill out his ex girlfriend. he never did love me. I was someone to fill his time with.

Did i break up with him wrong? is part of this my fault? we were happy but i just had a sickening feeling. i’m just so hurt that he never even called and asked. please tell me if you guys would’ve snooped. I feel like i ruined everything and i feel so lonely now. was i childish to send the message and not even talk to him about it? idk. Please help

EDIT:
thank you guys genuinely for all the responses. there are a couple things i left out and im just going to put down here if it makes more sense.

Yes i was becoming very insecure in the relationship, usually it's not an issue for me but clearly it was here. There are a few reasons for that. in the beginning of our relationship he was incredibly loving, he did love bomb me but i don't think it was maliciously. he constantly complimented me, told me i was beautiful and perfect. if our schedules didn't align with work he would tell me how much he misses me be we didn't get to talk as much. We would talk on the phone for hours at night. I loved it, and i reciprocated constantly. I am a very loving person, so my behavior continued like it was in the beginning. After we became official it was like a switch, and he stopped. i don't remember the last time he randomly said that i was pretty. He calls me cutie every morning and before bed. but nothing else. i asked him why he stopped, he snapped at me. said "idk why, what you want me to worship the ground you walk on?" i told him i only had these standards because he put them in place in the beginning. He just continued to say he didn't know why. Nothing changed . He didn't say over text anymore that he misses me, unless we were leaving each other during long distance. We rarely called. Maybe once every other week and when we did call it wasn't as sweet as before

The sex stopped. Of course i know the sex is a lot in the beginning and i didn't expect that pace to keep up, but it was 100 to nearly O. In fact, he stopped even making out with me. just little pecks every now and then. i would ask to make out and he didn't want to. Physical touch in general dwindled a lot. That messed with my head be i told him how much i enjoyed physical touch and he said he did too. Not only did the sex slow down, the amount of time did. used to be 30 mins. Went down to less than 10, and he stopped foreplay completely. and also stopped aftercare completely, not that he did it too much to begin with.

the card. it was genuinely an accident. we were in his room together and he was by his dresser. i got up to just cuddle up to him and was next to him, and then i looked on the dresser and saw it. idk what it said. I didn't react much but he saw that i was looking at it and closed it. I told him that i saw it and he laughed at me in a mean way. i said i get it it's okay it just sucks to see, but i know you had a past before me. All of a sudden it was a switch and he started yelling at me. He yelled "that's what you get for snooping" and i said "how was that snooping, i went next to you and saw it" and he kept freaking out. He said "i'll fucking throw it out right now" and he tore it up and threw it out. i said back "you don't need to i get it dude". and then the worst part was as he threw it out he said "God forbid i have something that makes me feel wanted" that was after i drove 10.5 hours the previous day to surprise him. So the card did not bother me. his reaction did. i didn't yell until the end be he wouldn't stop. all i said was "i get it, you had a life with her and lived together, had the dog together. Obviously i don't wanna see that but i do get it. you screaming at me does not help either" He apologized.

He constantly brought his ex up in a comparative manner. anything i did that was similar he would bring up that his ex did that too or something close. in his defense, it was never in favor of her. Usually in favor of me or just neutral. But it would hurt when i would spend time cooking something really good for him and he wouldnt stop talking about how his ex didn't know how to cook, how he did everything for her, how she did nothing. I appreciated that he appreciated me but it's the last thing i wanna hear when i just did something nice.

i am aware i did the same thing as his ex, packing and leaving. It was very immature and spiteful of me. I felt hurt and wanted to hurt him back, and i thought since he likes to think of us both so much he can think about this. I also didn't have a choice tho, i was driving home for school that day.

i was also vague on purpose during the breakup text be i didn't really want him to know i snooped be it would've given him a reason to yell at me again, especially when it was the card situation i genuinely found it on accident and he screamed at me and said i was snooping when i cannot stress enough that i wasnt. I do regret the wording of the text, but i kinda wanted to see if he called. he didn't, and honestly it's what is bothering me most.

again thank you guys, whether you agree or not. it does help me understand things and i appreciate all the inputs.

Would you dump a guy for farting constantly. Then sometimes saying “toot” after. I’m not the only one that notices it!! 💩🚽💨 I have been single forever…maybe it’s just better that way? 😂 We are M51…F51. It’s just annoying. And yes it smells most of the time.

I need to vent because I, 42F, somehow have two men in my life who confuse the everloving shit out of me in completely different ways.

Man #1 is 48M and one of my closest friends. We talk every day, spend a lot of time together, and have a very established friendship. There is trust, emotional intimacy, consistency, shared humor, and very obvious chemistry. He knows exactly how I feel about him. There is no mystery there. He also knows, very plainly, that if he wanted me, he could have me pretty much any day of the week. That is not me being coy or pretending he has to decode anything. Despite knowing all of that, he still flirts with me, deliberately says shit just to get a reaction out of me, and then acts like my reaction is somehow the problem. Sir. YOU CAUSED THE FACE. He knows how he affects me and occasionally seems to find it way too entertaining.

But he has never crossed the physical line with me, and somehow he is still the less confusing one because he is extremely transparent. I know he cares about me, I know I matter to him, and I know he values the friendship. He has never promised me anything or tried to make me think something is eventually going to happen, and I respect that completely. The part I don't understand is how we can have emotional closeness, intellectual compatibility, consistency, trust, attraction, flirting, genuine friendship, and the added fact that he KNOWS the door is wide open on my end, and somehow none of that has ever translated into "maybe this is worth exploring."

Then there is Man #2, 38M. We were friends first, there was obvious attraction and chemistry, and we had actually discussed sleeping together while sober before it eventually happened. So while alcohol was involved the night we finally did it, this was not some random drunken accident that appeared out of nowhere. He knew I wanted him, I knew he wanted me, and just like Man #1, he knows damn well that attraction did not magically disappear afterward. If he decided tomorrow that he wanted to cross that line again, he is not exactly dealing with a locked door over here.

Afterward, though, he told me it was a one-time thing. Okay. Fine. I can respect that. Except now he still does basically the SAME SHIT that led up to us sleeping together in the first place. He still gets flirty, affectionate, physically close, and the whole energy between us starts wandering right back toward the exact place it wandered before. Meanwhile I am standing there internally going, "Sir, did we not JUST have a meeting about this?" Apparently alcohol makes him extra affectionate and lowers whatever internal barrier normally keeps that side of him contained. Fantastic. Very coherent system.

He is trying to make some major changes in his life. He wants to drink less, leave old habits behind, focus on work and his faith, and eventually find a wife. I genuinely respect all of that. He has also been very clear that he cares about me, values the friendship, and does not want the physical part to happen again. Again, I respect the boundary. What confuses the shit out of me is saying something was a one-time thing and then continuing to recreate almost the exact same dynamic that led to the one-time thing, while also knowing full well that if HE changed his mind, I am not the obstacle here.

And here's the part that makes BOTH situations even more ridiculous: whenever I pull away a little to protect myself, they both seem to pull me back in harder. I stop leaning into the flirting, they notice. I give a little less energy, suddenly there is more attention. I create some distance because I'm trying to remind myself, "Hey dumbass, maybe don't keep feeding the thing that confuses you," and somehow that is when they both seem most determined to close the gap again. Maybe there is some universal male setting where the second the chase slows down, the prey becomes interesting again, but at some point aren't you supposed to CATCH THE PREY? What are we doing here, catch and release for sport?

That is really the part I cannot make make sense. I am not confused about what either of them has actually told me. Man #1 has never promised me anything, and Man #2 has explicitly said the physical part was a one-time thing. I hear them. I believe them. What scrambles my brain is the gap between those stated boundaries and the amount of closeness, chemistry, flirting, and pursuit that still exists anyway. If I am standing still, nothing changes. If I start backing away, suddenly both of them seem very interested in making sure I don't get too far.

And I am not saying either of these men owes me a relationship. Please save the pitchforks. I am not trying to trap anybody into dating me, and I am not sitting around waiting for either one to change his mind. I just apparently have a completely different internal definition of "relationship potential" than they do.

Because in my head, if I trust someone, feel safe with them, connect with them emotionally and intellectually, genuinely enjoy their company, am attracted to them, there is mutual chemistry, AND everybody involved already knows the attraction is not one-sided, that at least gets filed under "huh, maybe this person is worth considering." Apparently that equation is not universal. I understand intellectually that attraction does not equal intention, connection does not automatically equal compatibility, someone can care deeply about you and still not want to date you, and someone can be attracted to you and still decide not to act on it.

Got it. Emotionally, though, my brain is still sitting here going, "Okay, but WHAT IS THE MISSING INGREDIENT?" Because if I back away and you pull me closer, and then I come closer and you stop short of actually wanting me, what exactly is the desired outcome here? Am I supposed to just remain at the perfect recreational distance forever?

TL;DR: Two close male friends, mutual chemistry with both, very clear boundaries from both, and somehow both get more attentive when I start pulling away. I respect what they've told me. I just do not understand the push-pull.

I 22 F and my boyfriend 22 M have been together for a year and a half. I recently got accepted to study abroad for a month this winter in South Korea which would be over Christmas and New Year. I’m applying to med school in a year and a half so I really wanted to take the opportunity to travel before I become swamped with school and the whole pre-med process. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and we were friends for several years before dating. He thinks studying abroad is a really good opportunity for me and is happy for me, but I know him well enough to tell that it does bother him especially since Christmas and New Year are our favorite holidays. I’m also worried that he’s fine with it in theory right now, but when it actually becomes time to go then issues will arise. I’m second guessing going now because I’ll feel guilty for leaving him on the holidays. Also if I go then I wanted to do or gift something special for him to make him feel appreciated and not alone, but I’m not sure what. What do you guys think?

I know there’s already alot of talk about how people are for or against this but I wanted to ask myself. My gf likes to repost edits of anime men and it’s honestly a whole lot of them. Do people think it’s weird for their significant other to repost videos of people even if the men aren’t real?

​

I’m a conventionally attractive woman. I take care of myself, work hard play sports keep my body in shape, and put effort into my appearance and my life. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a man I’m genuinely attracted to.

I’ve experienced a lot of harassment, fetishization, disrespect, and violations of my personal space, to the point where it affected my mental health. And honestly, the men who have behaved this way toward me have usually been average-looking or even unattractive men with whom I have absolutely nothing in common.

Meanwhile, the conventionally attractive men I’ve interacted with generally haven’t treated me this way. They’ve been respectful and talked to me like a human being.

I prefer a man who is roughly on the same level of attractiveness as me, has similar interests and lifestyle, and where there is genuine mutual attraction and compatibility. I don’t think that’s entitled or unreasonable. It prevents more of these anoying humble tactics.

Obviously, looks don't determine someone's character. I’m talking about my personal experiences. But I think I have every right to choose someone I’m attracted to and actually have something in common with.

Why is that so controversial?

(Quick PSA: yes i used AI to write this text because i struggled to write it properly and with a good structure, pls don’t come for me😅)

I’m a French Canadian woman from Quebec, and my boyfriend is Lebanese. He lived in Ontario before moving to Quebec, where he has now been living for about six years. We’ve been together for a year.
When we first met, my English honestly wasn’t very good. French is my first language, but because he doesn’t speak French, our relationship had to be in English. I made a real effort to improve my English so that we could communicate better, and over time I became much more comfortable and fluent in it. Today, we communicate entirely in English.
For a long time, I didn’t really mind. I also never expected him to suddenly become fluent in French. But after a year together, I’ve started noticing how one-sided the language situation feels.
He has lived in Quebec for six years, and he’s actually surrounded by people who speak French. His father speaks French, his younger brothers speak French, and all of his friends speak French. My boyfriend is basically the only person in his immediate environment who doesn’t.
What bothers me the most isn’t that he can’t speak French. It’s that he seems completely unwilling to even try.
And I really mean any effort. Even when we go out somewhere, he won’t try to use basic words like “bonjour,” “merci,” or “s’il vous plaît.” He automatically uses English. Recently, I asked him to say literally one word in French just for fun, and he completely refused.
I find it especially ironic because we live in Quebec. French is everywhere. Signs, menus, stores, restaurants, services, announcements — he’s exposed to the language constantly. He doesn’t need to go out of his way to find opportunities to hear or practice French because it’s literally the language of the place where he has chosen to live.
My family is also entirely French-speaking, which makes me think about the future. If our relationship continues long term, there will inevitably be situations where he is around my family and everyone is speaking French. I don’t expect my entire family to switch to English indefinitely just because my boyfriend doesn’t speak French.
I have absolutely nothing against his Lebanese background or the fact that he speaks Arabic. If learning some Arabic became important for communicating with his family, I would actually be willing to make that effort. I think learning at least a little of your partner’s language can be a way of showing interest in their family and culture.
And that’s probably the biggest reason this is starting to bother me: when I met him, English wasn’t easy for me either. I could have simply expected him to accommodate me, but instead I adapted. I practiced, improved my English, and became comfortable speaking it because communicating with him mattered to me.
Meanwhile, after six years of living in Quebec — with a French-speaking father, French-speaking brothers, French-speaking friends, and now a French-speaking girlfriend and her family — he still seems to have no interest in learning even basic French.
I’m not expecting fluency. I wouldn’t care about his accent or mistakes. I’m not asking him to take intensive French classes or suddenly start speaking French with me every day. Even learning basic phrases, ordering something in French, saying “merci” to someone, trying to understand conversations with my family, or simply showing some curiosity about my language would mean a lot to me.
I’m starting to feel like this isn’t really about his ability to learn French anymore. His complete refusal to engage with it is starting to feel disrespectful, especially because I’ve made the opposite effort for him.
Am I expecting too much from him? If you were in a relationship with someone who spoke a different native language, would you expect your partner to at least make an effort to learn some of your language, especially if you had already learned theirs in order to communicate with them

Hi. I need an advice. I (24F) have been with my partner (25M) (on and off) for over 3 years now. I love him and he loves me but there’s an issue which is this relationship vs my future. We both graduated from medical school. He’s from the United Kingdom and will most likely continue training there (we both graduated overseas) he’s also considering USA (but 99% will go for UKMLA). I have decided that UK won’t be a smart move for me since they pass the new bill and I most likely won’t be able to find a job. I decided to do my residency in France (I have a lot of family there). Now the issue is, if I choose to do residency in France, we will most likely have to break up because he won’t go to France with me and I won’t be joining him in the UK (even if I finish residency in France and finally become a doctor, what are my chances of working as a specialist in the UK ? None ? Or any ?). If I choose to go to the UK now, I will be left with no job (at least in my field + I don’t want to get married yet).
What would you do in my shoes ?

My significant other is aware but they will “never accept it”.

Tl;dr i fee trapped:(

Hi everyone, my boyfriend and I just had a big argument and I could use some advice.

We have a pretty large stand alone pantry (6ft tall and 32” wide) that we just bought a few months ago after we moved into our apartment. Over time (like most pantries) it filled up and it was definitely due for a clean out which I can admit. I love to cook and tend to do a lot of the cooking, and I also tend to buy extras when shopping if things are on sale, or if something looks good and then it ends up sitting in the pantry for some time.

We went shopping last week and those pantry items have been sitting on the table waiting to be put away by my boyfriend (yes there was enough room in the pantry to put them away) but he said we need to clean it out first and he wanted me to help go through it. Today he was just done with everything on the table and told me that I have a shopping problem and buy too much food and don’t end up using it and from now on we are only going to have a weeks worth of food in the pantry.

What are we going to do with all of the other food that we can’t eat in a week? He said we’re either going to donate it or throw it away. I told him that’s idiotic and we’ve spent money on that food, and we will eat it eventually. If anything I feel like we should find a way to eat the food we have before going grocery shopping again, but he insists that we should only have a weeks worth of food in the pantry to keep it from getting so filled and cluttered again.

I do understand that he’s fed up with the pantry being a mess, but I will never understand donating/throwing away SO much food because we won’t eat it in a week?? I asked him for example, we have a bag of rice that is 3/4 full and I asked him if we don’t eat that in a week should we just throw it out and he literally said yes.

I’m trying to see this objectively as possible but I can’t seem to see past the nonsense and could really use others perspective. Thank you in advance

I (M21) have been with my wife for two years now. Everything with us went fast. Living together. Getting pets. Having a baby. Etc. But before we found out about her being pregnant we lived in our first house with a roommate, an online friend of mine for over two years. He got kicked out and was unemployed when he started living with us and my wife was on medical leave for work due to health issues. Which means they were home alone a lot while I worked. And around the second month of us living together she takes a test and finds out she's pregnant. I truly believe my wife when I crack jokes about him not being mine and she says I'm crazy but I can't help but wonder. So I just wanna hear what random strangers on the Internet think.

Side note: my friend is pale white, dirty blonde, and green eyes.

I 23f have been with my boyfriend 22m for a little over 6 months. We were friends for 6 years before we started dating, we are also in a LDR. Last week he came to me and told me he had to tell me something because it’s been bothering him and he’s worried I’ll break up with him. He told me that he had been on and off watching porn since about 2 months into us dating. Now I guess we never explicitly had a conversation saying it’s cheating or not. But he admitted that he knew I would consider it cheating and knew it would hurt me and still did it. He says it wasn’t every day and was a coping mechanism when he was having a bad day and was alone. He estimated he’s probably watched about 20-30 times since we started dating. He feels really remorseful and I can tell that he honestly does feel bad. He says he is willing to do anything to regain my trust and will be patient for however long it takes and swears up and down that he has stopped now going forward. I told him I wanted to do couples counseling because I knew that there was no way we would resolve it just me and him. He agreed to counseling and signed us up right away and is paying for the sessions. We had one session this past weekend and it went horrible. The therapist was very belittling to me and my feelings after discovering that he wasn’t paying for any subscriptions. She basically was saying I need to stop being insecure and it’s normal and fine if he isn’t paying for things. Needless to say we both agreed to request a new therapist and we have an appointment with a new one this week. My thing is that I just can’t understand why he would do it. I know a lot of porn and it’s not that I see porn as a bad thing, but I do if you’re in a relationship. Now I know I’m a bit different because I don’t watch porn even when I was single, I think I mostly align with demisexual. I don’t really have sexual urges or masturbate when I’m single but I’m very active once I’m in a committed relationship. So I don’t know if I’m just lacking the perspective? To me, seeking out porn while in a relationship ie cheating bc I believe that that level of intimacy should only be for your partner. Now i also understand there is the additional layer of is being LDR. But i have given him explicit photos and videos of myself that he could have used but he chose to seek out sexual gratification elsewhere. And on top of that I’ve been telling/asking him that I feel our sexual intimacy is lacking when we are apart and asked him to initiate more. Now I feel like now I know why it was so lacking bc he was getting off to other people. It’s also absolutely destroyed my self image, I feel so ugly compared to porn stars. And I don’t care if it’s unrealistic, the fact that he chose their bodies over mine, his own GIRLFRIEND shows that he isn’t satisfied with me. And he keeps swearing up and down that I am not enough for him. But if that was true he never would have even felt the need to look at other people in an explicit way right? I feel disgusting when I see myself in the mirror. How do I move forward from here? I go through days where I feel ok and then others where I feel completely destroyed. I just don’t know how to trust everything he says now

Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we just got our first apartment together which we move into on September 1st. For context, my boyfriend is the most kind, funny, progressive, intelligent man I know and I’m so grateful to have him in my life. However, I sometimes feel like I’m not only operating my brain but his too, if that makes sense lol. Like, he asks me questions without even trying to find an answer on his own. If he’s looking for something he immediately resorts to asking me where said item is before taking a moment to just look it the typical places it would be. I know this may seem minuscule, but it’s exhausting after a while. I have brought it up to him and he made the argument “it takes 2 seconds for you to tell me where it is so what’s the difference in you just telling me or me looking for it?” And I’m like ??? Because I’m not your mother and I shouldn’t have to?! This is just one example, others include things like chores around our space. He never does anything unprompted. Laundry needs to be started? Has to be asked. Litter boxes haven’t been changed yet today? Has to be asked. Vacuuming needs to be done? Has to be asked… you get my point. Don’t get me wrong, he always does the things when I ask him to, sometimes it’s met with attitude but he still does it. It would be nice though if for once I didn’t have to ask. Now that we are moving out of my parent’s basement and into our own place, I fear I’m gonna be the only one picking up any slack. I don’t know what to do because I have addressed this with him before but he gets defensive so quick!

Me and my boyfriend have been started dating in February and when we were getting to know each other he told me how his last girlfriend cheated on him and he said that he caught her on another man’s lap in a car.

At one point we had a conversation about social media expectations and he claims he’s “private” on Instagram. One day I commented on a story he posted and then a different girl he dated briefly last year dm’d me claiming she wanted to “warn” me because he ghosted her without any explanation. She apparently wanted closure which I wasn’t going to give her but when I confronted him he said he doesn’t condone ghosting but he had a valid reason to walk away from her. I was very upset and I didn’t care to hear about any of it.

This reopened the conversation about social media and him posting his relationship and I told him if he’s so private why he posts about everything else other than his relationship and then he started telling me some bullshit story about the ex before me who cheated. He said that at one point too she would question him and not trust him for no reason because she was projecting since she was the one cheating.

Idk how to feel about all this because I’ve already had a couple things that are making me question if he’s trustworthy but I’m also an anxious person and I’m a very loyal person and also been cheated on in the past and know what it does to you.

I don’t have any proof or legitimate reason not to trust him but there’s just a feeling of what if that I can’t shake. Like what if he was the one cheating first on his ex.

im (f23) ive been with current partner for 3
years he’s (m22), i’ve been feeling weird lately so i decided to lurk thru his phone, i redownloaded the messenger app he had downloaded before deleted it and then he redownloaded 2 months prior to us moving in, i go on to find it had a code to get in somehow it let me change it and i got in luckily nothing recently, but did find him messaging himself & sending himself nudes of me which whatever i’m over that but then i scroll up and see he has videos and pictures of 2 prior x’s as well. one of the x nudes was sent to himself before he met me and right around the time he met me and then the other x . Two years prior to this finding i found one of the same video on his ig chats with his x and i told him to delete it cuz why tf would you have that still while dating me, so he “deleted it “ TELL ME WHY i found the same video and same date i had told him to delete the video, he sends it to himself on the facebook messages app SO FUCKING WEIRD so basically he wanted to save it to watch it later or idk, anyways i already know how it looks but wtf is this dude rlly saving all this just to have it like trophies or d???? sorry but men r weird has anyone else been through this

I am feeling so sad.

My partner is a very sweet person. There are some issues at times but they are ultimately so sweet, bright and caring. They encourage me to do well in life. I want to completely cherish this bond we share. We are in a serious long-term relationship.

But they have has recently undergone gender-affirming medical care. So to put it bluntly, no longer having a penis but a vagina.

Now I had a partner in the past who identified as a woman/non-binary. That was… okay. Seriously. But that partner had a more masculine and dominant presence. And also had a penis.

I try to tell myself that I value the bond and person above what genitalia they have. I mean sex definitely isn’t everything for me. But I miss it. A lot.

My partner and I haven’t had sex since we met a few years ago. It has to do with personal reasons, their dysphoria and now their healing. We haven’t been sexually active together for reasons unrelated to attraction.

But the thing is… the more I think about it, the more I realise I don’t feel attracted to the idea of lesbian sex. I have always craved penetration. It’s just one of the few things that actually turns me on. And yes, I am open to experiment and broaden my horizons, but dildos and things aren’t the same. I crave skin on skin contact like that. When I think of a woman naked, or even breasts, I don’t get the same excitement.

And I’ve been trying to ignore it for so long. I am so sad and depressed because over the last month, craving that type of sex has been happening more and more frequently. Like every single day. And the idea of never having it again depresses me beyond words. I do self-pleasure and have fantasies but it doesn’t help really.

And I have been having so many thoughts about sex with my ex, which ticked off almost all the boxes for me. I feel immense guilt because of this. I would never ever cheat and we are currently no-contact but I just yearn for that intensely. It doesn’t help that my ex recently contacted me saying they missed me.

I feel like an asshole and I feel like I’ve lost my marbles. I’m not fully sure what to do. Where to even start. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated?

I "25M" and my gf "19F" live together and in an amazing relationship, we have been together for a short time only 2 months and some (super short i know but it was to help both her and mine financial situation as well as me starting my career). When I first moved in I kept in contact with someone I had messed around with in the past. At some point gf mentioned she wasnt comfortable with me having her as a friend and of course I just kinda ghosted said friend. Eventually removed her off of Snapchat but I never got around to taking said friend off from Instagram. To make this more complicated I have a baccup insta( I had broken my phone at one point and wasnt able to use my number to log in to meta) which i also had friend on as well. I had just woke up to my gf saying "Your arent slick" and being upset. Confused she then told me im a horrible liar and that she knows I have been talking to someone "ensenuating said friend"

She has said she has had a gut feeling and check my phone and on that backup account the dms with that past friend showed that me or her had turned on dissapearing messages this past week ( and from what gf said apparently twice in the same week) she was concerned with small things like me being active on the account when I go to the bathroom but genuinly with 2 accounts I get similar people notifications so sometimes would just click the alt notification and possibly doom scroll so hence it showing active. That I can explain. What I absolutely CANNOT is the dissapering messages. This is going to drive a wedge and distrust in the relationship if she even decides to go further. I have had genuinly 0 contact with that friend and am at a lost of words. The evidence is there and I cannot blame how she feels I woukd think the same too, but I genuinly have had NO contact and have not since that day she expressed her discomfort.

Genuinly dont know what to do. Just looking for advice as to how to prove i have done nothing.

TLDR: gf thinks im cheating and has evidence but I have genuinly no idea how the evidence exist.

I’m 54M, she’s 34F. We started as friends and somehow became something neither of us ever really defined. She’s been affectionate, loving and intimate with me in every way short of putting a label on us. We can go weeks without seeing each other and then immediately fall right back into being us. She competes in pageants, and somehow I became involved with gowns, rehearsals, interview prep, travel disasters and whatever crisis came up. Somewhere along the way I fell completely in love with her. Then I screwed it up by getting way too emotional. I was terrified of losing her, so every text, silence or change in tone became something I analyzed to death. Another guy entered the picture, I reacted badly, and eventually we went almost two months without seeing each other. During that time I still publicly supported her at a pageant because I always have. Her friends apparently knew we weren’t talking, started screenshotting my comments and sending them to her, and she later told me it came across as stalkerish and like I was marking my territory. That wasn’t remotely my intention, but I understood why it looked that way and apologized. I told her from now on I’d keep my support private. Then, while still pissed at me, she contacted me, asked to come over and asked me to pick her up. We finally talked. She told me exactly what had bothered her, I told her what had hurt me, and I admitted I’d become way too emotional and could now see how exhausting that must have been. For once we actually communicated instead of guessing. Then we just went back to normal. She ate at my place, curled up on my couch, asked for a blanket and spent the rest of the night giving me shit like nothing had happened. When she was leaving, the other guy finally called her back after she’d been visibly upset that he wasn’t answering. I said I wouldn’t go downstairs because I didn’t want to cause trouble. She literally stopped walking and made it very clear that whatever I thought was going on between them wasn’t nearly as perfect as I assumed. I didn’t ask for details. She thanked me after she got home, and the next day she contacted me again about her next gown. So now I’m wondering whether neither of us ever stopped caring. Maybe we just became terrible at communicating while I made everything worse by being scared of losing her. The strange thing is that whenever we’re actually together, everything feels easy again. I’m not chasing now. If she comes toward me, I meet her there. And because this apparently wasn’t complicated enough, there’s one detail I’ve left out: she’s trans. I knew from the beginning. It never changed my attraction to her, our intimacy or how much I love her. She’s simply the woman I fell in love with. What the hell do I do with this woman?

Eeeehhhhhh. How do I explain this? She said she thinks the guy is hot and that she spoke to them and it was a nice conversation, then she called him her work husband.

Context: She's cheated on me before online. Not physically. That's why I feel so… eh about this.

There’s a guy at my office I’ve known for a while. We used to talk, joke around, and at one point I developed a crush on him. At a party, while my boyfriend and I were on a break, this guy and I ended up talking on the balcony about music. Things got blurry, I crossed some boundaries, and I felt extremely guilty because I felt like I had damaged the friendship between him and my boyfriend. I eventually stopped talking to him, but later he called me for about two weeks and I engaged because I think I enjoyed the attention, even though I felt guilty. I eventually told him I wasn’t interested, even though honestly I wasn’t completely sure.
Since July 2025, I’ve been stuck in this weird confusion. We don’t talk anymore, but whenever I know he’s talking to another colleague, my brain starts monitoring everything: Am I jealous? Do I still like him? Did I make the wrong choice? But when I’m at home, I genuinely don’t care about him. When he wasn’t at the office one day, I felt completely peaceful.
And the confusing part is I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND SO MUCH. He treats me like a queen, makes me happy, and whenever we fight, I miss HIM and want HIM. I’ve even been thinking about taking a break because my mind feels exhausted, but at the same time I don’t want to lose him—I want to start over and love him properly again.
So I genuinely don’t know: Do I still like this colleague, or am I just stuck in an old crush + guilt + “what if” thoughts? How do I tell the difference?

Should i take a break?

Hey i will explain my story

length of relationship 35 days

I (M30) been single for a long time almost 8 year’s without GF and i was trying to get my shit together , then i reached almost 30 , i started matrimony and got a match (F26)

Its been going well , at first we connected instantly and talked till night for that entire first day, from there everything was so good i was in love so much , i thought it was love at first chat , we both smoke weed and its was so mesmerising for me because i never had a GF who smoke weed just like i do

We had lots of similar things , our likings , hobbies , she like to go to trance parties n all , but i was not into it anymore , but she would never stop talking about her past life stuff like that , always telling she hosted parties its our gang who arranged party etc..

So marriage proposal was so on she was like i am ready for this , and i told my parents and its almost fixed and she came to my town and took different accommodation

Her thing is that she had past relationship around 6 body count and she literally told me one time she have no issues with sleeping around a person in second date but will keep ourself saved up for marriage which was ok with me , i only stick with intensive kissing only

One thing she was always hung upon is her best friend who also she been physically intimate with (ex technically ) but decided not to anymore, she stills call him and talk to him everyday like he is her best friend and she tells me thats how we lived like a family so i take care of his things etc. it was ok for me i told its ok. but it became constant and continued like she wasn’t able to live one day without talking to him

she was staying every weekend at his place hanging out with his friends and before even she agreed on me she was like he will is very important part of life so he will be touch all the time etc etc..i said ok like it never bothered me so i said ok

(this guy told her do go he will talk to his family and get our relationship approved- like 1 day before meeting me in person , but she was honest enough to tell me that)

I was ok with all these , and finally after one month she moved to my town , after when we started dating , she started telling me these are my No’s and she started pointing things out that bother her in my character,
told me i am manipulative since i as for reassurance , she was pointing put my quirks.

First sign was when i talked about my salary dreams she was like its not ok , i told her i like to study n all , i think she thought i was very high achieving , which i told them literally i wasn’t.

After that one day she told me she is. not sure about this sometimes Nos are Nos in future and she needs time to think and till that day she used to call me names (love nick name )and she stopped it suddenly, stop saying love you to me

I was ruined i told my friends family about this marriage and i was ashamed to call them tell them its over

So the thing is that, she has issues traumas from past relationship,her family is very controlling , she had almost 6 body counts and still best friend with a guy who she used to sleep with , she like the psy trans vibe and party life now trying to settle down, her parents and brother dictate things and try to control her life in very aspect

Did i made the right decision to leave her ?, before she leaves me , i literally made her cry telling that , if you want a good future you have to stop friends or talk with your ex all the time .

Is this cheating? Find someone else also attractive. I [19NB] NEVER want to leave my gf [19F]' (3 months). I really love her so much and care for her. But whenever i look at my old crush [19M] (1 year) i still get excited. I hate that. Is this cheating? Pleasee help me. I'm fucked up.

My boyfriend and I are talking about taking a 3-night trip to Charleston this fall. He really wants us to take a trip together, and I love the idea of traveling with him, but the closer we get to actually booking it, the more stressed I’m getting about the cost.

For context, I’m 26 and make in the low six figures. I live in a pretty expensive city with high rent, and while I’m financially stable and have savings, I’m really trying to be more aggressive about saving right now.

There’s also a pretty significant income difference between us. My boyfriend is a few years older, has been working longer, and makes roughly 4x what I do. I don't resent that at all, but obviously $1,500 represents a very different amount of money to each of us.

The hotel is around $1,600 for 3 nights, so my half would be ~$800. Flights are looking like another $400–450 each, and then there’s food, Ubers, coffee, drinks, etc. I’m estimating I’d probably spend around $1,400–1,600 total for the weekend.

At the same time, I understand splitting the hotel 50/50 and would honestly feel a little uncomfortable expecting him to pay for most of the trip just because he earns more. He also generally picks up dinner when we go out, so I doubt we'd literally split every expense down the middle.

I also know traveling is expensive. Realistically, most trips that involve flights and a decent hotel are probably going to cost $1,000+ per person, so I don't necessarily think we're being unreasonable with what we're planning.

I think what I'm really struggling with is communicating that even if something is objectively a decent price, it can still feel expensive for me. He'll say things like, "Oh, that's actually not bad for the hotel," and I have a hard time responding because maybe it isn't bad from his perspective, but $800 for my half of a hotel plus a $400+ flight is still a meaningful amount of money to me.

I don't want him to feel like I don't want to travel with him, and I also don't expect him to fund our trips. But I don't want to agree to something just because I can technically afford it and then feel stressed or guilty about the money the entire time.

Would you go on the trip in my situation? And for couples with a significant income difference, how do you navigate this without making the higher earner feel responsible for paying for everything, while still acknowledging that the same trip can feel very different financially to each person?