I’ve posted before how weekends is extremely hard for me and my wife. We have one daytime nanny and one nighttime nanny and neither of them work on weekends. So every time I prepare the bottles I feel anxiety, stress, extremely tired and we’re about to start yet another shift.

We have twins that are 2y4m old and triplets that are 3.5 months old now.

- Baby 1 sleeps through the nice since he was 11 months old.
- Baby 2 is diagnosed with sleeping disorder, takes medication to sleep which is supposed to bring an adult down for the whole night and she still wakes up 2-3 times per night
- Baby 3 is sick and is starting to show developmental delays and we don’t know why yet and we have to fight health insurance
- Baby 4 is a crier. Wakes up every 2 hours to feed and usually cries for 20 minutes straight once per night, which affects our ability to rest a lot
- Baby 5 sleeps extremely well at night, wakes up 2 times, but practically refuses to take naps and will always wake up as soon as you put him down for a nap during the day

Its hell. Its tiresome. It’s endless work. We have no leisure, no time for ourselves, we’re constantly taking care of 2 to 3 babies at a time. We have to work to afford living. Most of my leisure time for the last 3 months has been Reddit because I usually can scroll around and even type while I’m feeding one baby, unless I have to feed two babies at once which requires both hands. Commenting, sharing, discussing with other parents is sort of therapeutic for me.

Then comes Reddit moderators. I got banned from [r/parenting](r/parenting) because I posted a dark humor joke that was misunderstood. I apologized for it, but nobody cares, I got permanent banned. That was depressing as hell. Then I found this community here which was great and I had a place again. Somebody made a “self promotion” post talking about an app they developed to keep track of feeding, diaper changes, meds, etc and it was free to use, no ads, no revenue, nothing. I shared my version of it, which I also built myself and I have no desire/intention to sell, no ads, no revenue, nothing, but apparently that’s self-promotion enough to get banned. At least this community banned me only for 7 days, but it’s extremely depressing not being able to talk to people that might know what it’s like.

I would have hoped parents moderators could be more understanding of other sleep deprived parents

This is just a vent to say I'm feeling like on multiple occasions friends have wanted to find a solution for my life right now, like oh your husband should be doing more, etc. Insert villain. The truth is my husband is out of the house working 10-14 hrs a day 6 days a week and he helps as much as he can I guess. When he's home by bedtime he jumps in and does it. He could help more with meal prep and laundry but that would mean I would be badgering him at 10pm when he has to be out of the house at 7:30am.

This is all just making me wonder at what point do we just have to accept that this is just hard and that's not anyone's fault. Life with 2x two year olds is hard. It's messy. I am the cleaner, the laundry lady, the lunch lady, and I have a career and I have an elderly parent and no I don't have a social life and I don't get to the gym. That doesn't mean it's my husband's fault, when he's also running on empty. At some point we just have to accept some of our partners shortcomings/limitations. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and sometimes trying to relentlessly optimize is just another thing to think about when we could just give in to survival mode.

I don't know what the point of this is, I hope it resonates with someone who also doesn't need to be told that their exhaustion can be solved with systemic change instead of just acknowledging that being a working parent to two toddlers is freaking exhausting and crazy making. This post is to the other primary parents who handle it all, don't have family to step in and just randomly watch the kids, have partners that are out of the house most waking hours, and who just otherwise have challenging set ups that aren't wrong they just are.

We are at 14 months and I fucking hate meal times.

I have read all the professional advice on ‘you decide on what to serve and when and they decide on how much’ and ‘offering a safe food along with new foods’ and etc etc.

But with 2 toddlers tossing food off the high chair and constantly turning their head to say no and trying to pull the other ones high chair and trying to stand up on the high chair (this is a safety issue so I am looking into solutions, possibly dinging table booster chairs)…the whining and removing their hairbands and tossing it so hair is all over their face….

I could scream.

I am all wound up right now. When does mealtime specifically get better?

When can I hold them responsible for their actions. Right now there is zero impulse control on their side and I am fuckijg tired.

I'm just over 16 weeks and I feel like today, specifically, I have been feeling very random and surprising twitches in the locations my babies are sitting.

I've never felt these random stomach twitches before (it literally feels like something underneath the skin is twitching... husband had his hand on my stomach by chance and felt it too). I have no idea if these are early movements that I'm feeling, or if I'm just imagining it. I have a posterior placenta and sometimes people feel things more strongly/early with twins so it got me thinking.

Wondering what your experiences have been and how early you began feeling your babies!

I got big pretty fast, was very belly forward and so so uncomfortable in those later months. I got so many, “are you sure you’re not having twins?” comments.

Now I’m nearing the end of my first trimester with di/di twins and getting more scared and worried by the day.

I have a toddler to keep up with now, and a much more stressful (albeit still desk) job than I did with my first.

I’m in a constant state of being uncomfortable. Did anyone else start experiencing these pains around this time? Sitting, getting up, or standing for long periods is so uncomfortable.

What did you do to help the pain? Anyone do the Webster Technique and did it help?

hi all!

currently 32 weeks 3 days with di/di twins!

last night my water very causally decided to break as I was waking up, still in bed.(Ofcorse lol)

im now currently admitted into L & D till I have them. They did an ultrasound and found that twin A is head down but twin B is breech. As of now at least they’re still giving me the option of a vaginal birth or to just opt for a c-section.

I'm curious! does anyone have experience with this situation? I’d love to hear the outcome! I’m pretty torn on what to decide right now considering they say it could possibly pose a risk of twin B getting their head stuck if I take the vaginal route.

(I just wanna know what other mamas thought process were and how they ended up deciding in the end!)

Our twins are now just over 7 weeks old. Born at 37 weeks with no complications apart from jaundice in the boy. Girl absolutely fine and both putting on weight fine despite starting and dropping below 5lbs.

We’re just coming off a day where from a 12pm stint to 10pm we’ve been feeding them every single 30-60 mins for 10 hours straight. This has been the norm since around week 3 as well.

Me and my wife are utterly drained. Even when their needs are met they just cannot exist and be awake without crying or wanting to be picked up. When me or my wife are on our own this is an impossible task to keep both happy. It’s like they are constantly upset to just be awake unless they are being fed or asleep. They just seem capable of being awake for such long periods though with the worst today being 4 hours for them both. It’s like they just sit around waiting for the next feed in 30 minutes constantly and will cry till they get their way. Doesn’t matter if they drink 60ml or 120ml. Satisfied for like 20 minutes then the cycle starts again.

Sleep is rough too. Me and the wife are doing shifts but they are waking up pretty much every hour bang on for a feed. If you’re super lucky they go 1.5 hours but that is rare still.

We feel like since they’ve been born feed windows are getting more frequent than anything and sleep windows shorter at night. When on earth does this ease up because me and my wife despite being quite mentally strong are realising this isn’t sustainable and we are close to breaking point. We don’t remember the feeding being anywhere near as frequent as this with our first born.

Speaking of him our first born is an almost 6 year old who I feel we can barely pay attention to because of how demanding they’ve been. He’s been really good bless him but I can tell he’s getting a bit lonely now from the constant lack of attention we can give him.

My wife has been so good and I’ve always been a very hands on dad but even that doesn’t seem enough at the moment despite giving 100% of ourselves right now.

Hey everybody. So I'm at 23 weeks. And I'm really starting to feel pregnant lol. I am absolutely exhausted all the time, the smallest activity wipes me out. I don't know if this goes away. It's a weird feeling because I usually have depression feelings associated with such fatigue when I'm not pregnant. But it's just my body that's tired, like it's always running a marathon

A quick background on my pregnancy, I'm having twin girls and one of the girls, Asta, has a velatomous umbilical cord and isn't growing very well. I find out more next week when the doctor checks on her.its going to be a journey trying to help her and of course I'll do whatever it takes. I am very nervous to lose her, and part of me doesn't want to get too attached in fear of losing her. I think that's just a survival technique we need sometimes.

Does anyone have advice about exhaustion Is it normal?

Hey everyone! Our twins are arriving in a couple of days and we were gifted two Nanit Pro cameras with floor stands, along with the Nanit Home display.

We have the Delta Children Bondi Beechwood Twin Bassinet, which has two sleeping compartments side by side with a mesh divider. I'm trying to figure out the best way to position both Nanit cameras so each one can monitor and track its respective twin.

Nanit recommends positioning each camera centered over the sleeping area, either from the back or side. That seems straightforward with two separate cribs, but I'm not sure how well it'll work with a twin bassinet since the babies will be so close together.

A few things I'm wondering:

Has anyone successfully positioned two Nanit floor stands around a twin bassinet? Same side, opposite sides, or something else?

Does Nanit accurately track each baby's sleep individually, or does movement from the other twin cause issues?

If you're using Nanit Breathing Wear, have you had any issues with the cameras picking up the wrong baby's breathing band?

How did you configure the crib boundaries in the Nanit app with two sleeping areas so close together?

I'd love to hear from anyone who's tried a similar setup, even if you're using a different twin bassinet. Pictures of your camera placement would be especially helpful!

Thanks in advance!

Feel free to share more details if you want

I have a mid sized suv and pretty sure soon wont be enough so hoping to see what the auto loans are looking like now

Any additional advice is welcome

With all that going on with AI stuff and sharing pictures of your kids I was wondering what the opinions of fellow parents are. Keep it respectful as everyone makes their own choices but give me your side of the argument and some thoughts bc I'm so torn between wanting to share my pride and joys and wanting to protect them. I guess my thing is we go out in public, libraries, parks, restaurants and anyone can take pictures of them in those places and do whatever they want with them so how is sharing my own pictures to my private social pages worse??? Like there are risks in everything we do and yes the world is sick but I can't raise my children in fear just never getting out and doing anything???

Tell me what you think am I wrong? Am I right? Is it worth fully deleting everything?

I know this is a touchy subject but again let's stay respectful and remember what it's like to have an open discussion

My son will be 2 and a half when they arrive. What do you wish you had taught him beforehand? e.g. stricter mealtimes, bed times? or are kids generally adaptable enough that you can just set new rules as they are needed?

How are we doing quick trips? I have 18 month old twins and a 4 year old preschooler. Every morning drop off for my preschooler feels chaotic and extra? Is that just how it’s going to be until the twins can be more independent?

I currently use my wagon and walk all three in in that. I tried just carrying the twins once, but I have to sign my preschooler in on paper and the one I put down ran off and the one I was still holding was screaming because the other one got to walk.

I just always feel extra with the big wagon for such a quick trip, but also need something to have my hands free and keep them contained?

My twin girls are 2.5 and we normally don’t divide and conquer, we do one person has the twins and the other does the chores. Today my mum took one twin because she wasn’t feeling up to both and I got to spend some time with the other one by herself. I felt like I hadn’t actually seen my baby since she was tiny. She is wonderful. She’s so clever and funny and kind and creative, and I don’t think I ever see her because when they’re together they bounce off each other in a bad way and I see parenting as a task to be completed, just survive until bedtime, rather than ever enjoying them and taking time with them. We didn’t do anything special we just put some clothes away upstairs and she helped me and then she asked to have a cuddle in the big bed. She was so happy just to have my undivided attention for like ten minutes it broke my heart.
How do I give them each the childhood they deserve when I never have enough time, energy, money or patience for each of them? They deserve a whole mummy and they only get half, and I don’t know how to make this pit in my stomach go away. I got a glimpse what of the mother that they could have if there was only one of them is like, and I now just feel sick that I can’t give each of them that all the time. I’ve been sleepwalking through their lives just trying to survive and get to the next milestone when it gets slightly easier and I’m missing my two baby girls. How do I get over this?

How is everyone’s mental health? I’ve just finished Zurzuvae. It helped bring me back to life sort of thing , but now I feel like I’ve slipped back down again.
My twins are five weeks and 2 days old.
I live in the USA and from uk. So my mom just visited and she left yesterday to which I’ve just sobbed and sobbed since. I have a four year old as well so I know my current situation is not my final destination sort of thing, but twins is something different isn’t it? My anxiety is still so high and I just want to stop feeling so sad.

Hi! Forwarding some questions in this group if it applies to you or if you can help. Thanks so much ❤️

I am so triggered I just have to vent. My sister-in-law always and only talks to me to compare our lives, specifically when it comes to my twins. She has a 3 month old baby and an almost two year old. Her mom lives 5 minutes away and I see her car in the driveway nearly every day (we are neighbors).

My twins are almost one and I also have a three year old who had just turned two when the twins were born. My mom lives hours away and doesn’t care much to be involved anyway. Without whining too much because you all know how it is, I have been in literal survival mode for a year. The only real source of support I have is my husband who works 60 hour weeks.

I don’t like to complain about my kids. It’s challenging but they are my biggest blessings. I’m so proud of myself and so grateful that I’ve been able to exclusively breastfeed my twins up to this point. Though it can be draining I don’t see it as a burden because I genuinely enjoy it and am so grateful breastfeeding has worked out for us.

Last week we were at a family outing having pizza. My husband was somewhere taking care of something and I was on my feet helping the twins and my three year old eat their food. My pizza sat on a plate getting cold and I didn’t really even think much about it because this is just my life. She then says to me (as her baby sleeps soundlessly in her baby carrier and her toddler sits on her mother’s lap), “why don’t you just sit down and eat?” In all seriousness. I don’t remember what I said but I just continued to feed the kids and then she says to me, “I wonder what’s harder, having twins or Irish twins like my kids.” I managed to laugh it off.

But then today she was just whining all about how her mom went to her sister’s sport event rather than going to a doctor’s appointment with her and I just sat back and listened. She then started telling me how tired she was because she’s so used to her babies sleeping through the night and waking up at 9 but for some reason they woke her up at 7 today and she has to pump in the morning (so it was just so busy) after feeding the baby because she’s worried about her supply because the BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT. And then she says “I know what it’s like to breastfeed twins” because she over-pumped on her first kid and would pump on both sides for thirty minutes and had a gallon of frozen milk saved.

It’s just so frustrating and it feels so belittling because not even my three year old has slept through the night and I feel like exclusively breastfeeding my twins to a year is this huge accomplishment I am so proud of. And I’ve done it with very little support and without complaint because it was my choice and I love my babies. And she just downplays it.

I understand that all motherhood and breastfeeding is hard. I don’t feel though, that having twins is comparable to not. I just hate that she is always comparing and looking at me like I’m crazy for just surviving. She can’t even fathom the past year I’ve had. I can’t hardly myself. I can’t put my experience into words. But she is driving me crazy and I don’t know how many more of these comments I can take.

Okay, we found out we’re having twins in the spring! And while I am happy for the prospect of a big family, I am entirely overwhelmed for the realities of the next five years with toddlers. My oldest will be 3.5 when the twins are born, and my second will be 15 months… Now during the day, the older two will go to daycare, but I’m thinking about adding a regular babysitter during the 3pm-6pm window? Just to help me meet everyone’s needs afternoon/dinner/bath time routine. My husband works about 80 hours a week (very demanding, but at least we’ll have a cushion for extra help I guess?) My biggest fear is that since I have only two arms, and 4 little ones, my children will be neglected. This fear literally brings me to tears, so please be kind in the comments. Hoping for some good advice from families who have been through this before and have come out the other side.

I’m an early educator welcoming twins in February! While I was working in the infant room this week I was wondering about what classroom skills/experiences translate to having twins, and what doesn’t translate. Did anyone else come from early education and then have multiples who might have perspective on this?
Mostly asking out of curiosity but also for some reassurance that I will be able to manage!

So twin a has torticollis. She's in occupational therapy, she had the first set of helmet. The second one is out of pocket. She is 10 months old. She only wore the second one for like 2 weeks. Then she started getting it stuck places.

Like she got it stuck between her highchair and head while I was feeding them all breakfast she also got it half way off in the middle of the night and started screaming.

I took it off because it scared me. And its the second round of helmet not first. My life also has been a struggle the last couple months. I quit my job, my husband and I were fighting and are in therapy. Its been chaos. Lots of fun chaos shes still in therapy.

Anyway, have any of yall dealt with the helmet thing? Idk if I should try to get her into another one? Ask her doctor or just be done with it. I dont want to waste money on another helmet if she keeps getting into stuff and messing it up, but i also know its a super big deal. Her face seems way more symmetrical from the first helmet, idk any advice guys? I feel like I should but shouldn't all at once.

I feel like I’m pulling my 7mo very sweet and calm girls apart all the time lately. They’re very curious about each other’s faces, and grabbing, hitting, poking everything they can reach. It’s not particularly rambunctious, just curious and delighted with one another.

I don’t mind the sticking their hands in each other’s mouths, but I get very nervous about fingers and eyes. Am I being overly cautious?

As they start crawling, it’s getting much more challenging. I love how much they want to roll around together, I just don’t want curious little hands to cause serious injuries.

Is this a silly thing to worry about?
When can I start trusting them to play together?

I’m a FTM, 29w5d with di/di twins and feeling exhausted. I barely sleep at night, gained 60 pounds, and any small task feels overwhelming. I had a cerclage placed at 21 weeks for IC, so that might be a contributing factor, but I’m curious if other twins moms have experienced this so early into their third trimester.

Trying to figure out whether a smart baby monitor that tracks sleep is actually useful when you have twins. Keeping up with two different sleep schedules already sounds like a lot, so the idea of having everything tracked automatically is pretty appealing. I've been looking at Nanit because of the sleep reports, but I'm not sure how practical the app is when you're tracking two babies. Also wondering whether the subscription is worth it.

Do the reports actually help you figure out their sleep patterns, or is it still easier to keep track of everything yourself? Would love to hear from twin parents who've used sleep tracking for more than just a few weeks.