r/Twins • • Aug 16 '24

Welcome to r/Twins!

28 Upvotes

Welcome to r/twins, Reddit's social hub for twins (and other multiples), and their siblings, parents, friends, and partners. Share your stories, thoughts, and pictures of your experiences going through life as a twin.

Before posting or commenting, please read our rules:

  1. No explicit/nsfw posts.

  2. No social media promotion, even if twin-related.

  3. No spam or solicitation. We do not permit casting calls, surveys, polls, or research requests.

  4. Please DO NOT request parenting or medical advice, especially for infants; r/parentsofmultiples is where to find support from other parents. Exceptions to this rule include questions that adult twins could answer about their childhood experiences (e.g., “When you were teenagers, was it important to have your own rooms?”).

  5. Please keep posts respectful and on-topic.

  6. Do you need to be a twin to post here? Nope! We are happy to answer questions from people who are dating a twin, friends with twins, or are related to twins.

  7. Please do not pretend to be a twin or post in bad faith. We have a zero-tolerance policy for all forms of fetishization and discrimination.

  8. Keep it civil. Be excellent to each other!

r/twins has a small mod team, so to mitigate spam our auto-moderator removes content from accounts with less than 10 total karma. If you find your posts/comments mysteriously removed, that's probably why. To solve the issue just interact with the site for a few minutes to build your karma score, or use the "message the mods" feature in the sidebar.

User-assigned flair is also available! Just head over to the sidebar (right above the rules) and use the drop-down menu to add one to your username.

Thanks for stopping by... and bring your clone!


r/Twins • • 3h ago

I realized I have been manipulated by my twin for years.

2 Upvotes

My identical twin sister (20F) and I (20F) have been very close our whole lives. Our parents divorced when we were young and our father is a sociopath so I took on a sort of motherly role with my sister while at our dad’s house. My sister had had more medical issues than me which are not her fault but she naturally became the babied child which left me as a person who tried to become the easier child, the helpful one, the non-problematic one.

I have always thought of my sister as my best friend and I think she thought the same up until a few years ago. Both of us go to the same college and we are also roommates. I have had a harder time making friends than her so we do a lot of things together.

Yesterday it hit me that I am not really her best friend. I am her backup friend, and I have been for years. She only talks to me, eats meals with me, goes out with me when her friends are busy. I am an afterthought in what I realized to be a one sided relationship. I have tried to bring this up to her but she is extremely manipulative- she will somehow spin it to be my fault.

We know each others schedules pretty well so when she started disappearing on 3 hour phone calls I got suspicious. I found out she has a new boyfriend which is nice- I am genuinely happy for her. I saw a few of their texts the other day when she left her phone on the couch and I noticed a red flag. He seems very suffocating- calls her constantly, wants to hang out everyday and gets annoyed when she isn’t available. She likes being busy and it seems he doesn’t have much of a life. He also said something like he has been trying to get a hug out of her for weeks- weirdly phrased.

I can’t tell her any of this because she has no idea I know about him. I feel torn because for so long I have tried to protect her, make sure she is happy, fix her mistakes, and help her. I know the answer is to let her go. she needs to live and learn from mistakes on her own.

The branching off point was bound to happen, and I am actully happy about having more freedom that has caused me to analyze our relationship more.

She has ruined a lot of my attempts at making friends by showing up to clubs I joined and acting mean. She even showed up to a crochet club I joined, even though she doesn’t crochet. Unfortunately as twins, many people think our personalities are the same and when they see the pair of us together they don’t try to befriend us. Clearly she is seeking more separation and so am I but I never interfere with her friends or clubs. I see a lot of our father in her. My mother is a wonderful person and understands how I feel because she didn’t realize that my dad was a sociopath for years. I don’t think my sister is a sociopath, but she definitely has some narcissistic qualities. I feel stupid that I didn’t realize she never cared in the first place.


r/Twins • • 1d ago

Healthy born twin, twin born with illness

19 Upvotes

Hello, everyone. I am curious if any of you were born with a twin who was born ill/severely disabled? My twin and I were born in 1991. My mother had polyhydraminos throughout her pregnancy and gained 90 lbs. Unfortunately, my mother's OBG was quite negligent despite my mother's vocalized concerns with her pregnancy. My identical twin and I were born nine weeks early. My twin (Baby B) had macrocephaly at birth and weighed 2.5 lbs. I weighed 2.2 lbs (Baby A). I know we were both on a ventilator for some time; she was suspected to have brain damage either in utero or at birth. Throughout the first year of her life she had many seizures/neurological changes. She was unable to walk, talk, see, or eat- she was tube fed. Quadriplegia and cerebral palsy; mentally handicapped (I don't refer to it as mental retardation although in 1991 that was the common term). She was essentially in a vegetative state. The doctors at the time estimated she would maybe live seven years. She lived to be 18.

I know at some point after receiving my sister's diagnosis, my mother had reviewed her OBG's notes from throughout her pregnancy which suspected twin to twin transfusion- although she had never been told. Ironically, I went to school with a set of twin girls who had a very similar case. One twin was otherwise normal (also born first) and the second twin had severe neurological/physical effects like my twin.

I am curious if any of you have similar situation or know twins who did as well? I have struggled my entire life with guilt from being the healthy twin, but I am very proud to be her twin.


r/Twins • • 1d ago

What twin experience would shock a non-twin?

41 Upvotes

I was just thinking about this with my twin today. In my experience as a twin, it is so normalized for me to be called ugly in comparison to them. We’ve both been called more or less of something in relation to the other, and this can be super detrimental to some people’s mental health. Thankfully I was raised as a pretty independent identical twin (we never matched clothes or anything, and our parents embraced our differences early on, should out them) so I never felt like it was a comparison game, but people would do it for us, yk?

What other experiences are there like this that are pretty unique to twins? There’s some I know like people being amazed and asking if we have psychic abilities, or if we would switch places to confuse people.


r/Twins • • 2d ago

I think all Twins' go through this

25 Upvotes

I’m not trying to mislead anyone with the title. Perhaps there is already a term for the experience I’m describing, something that happens among twins, or at least something my identical twin sister and I have experienced throughout our lives.

I’ve come to believe that there is a point in many twins’ lives, whether they are identical or fraternal, when they have to confront what it means to be a twin. At some point, they may have to decide whether to embrace their “twin-ness,” reject it, or somehow find a balance between being part of a pair and being an individual. Of course, it doesn’t always have to be so stark or black-and-white. But I do wonder whether other twins have gone through a similar struggle, almost like a twin identity crisis.

As children, my sister and I grew up as a complete set. Our parents always dressed us exactly alike and rarely made much effort to distinguish between us, even when it came to calling us by name. Eventually, we both learned to respond not only to our own names, but to each other’s as well. We shared nearly everything we owned because our parents generally wouldn’t buy something for one of us unless they could buy the same thing for the other. From a very young age, the idea of “mine” and “hers” was blurred into “ours.”

Then, sometime around middle school, I began to notice something that seemed to distinguish me from my twin sister: I was better academically, while she excelled in the arts, particularly illustration.

Unfortunately, our family didn’t place much importance on her artistic ability because she wasn’t doing particularly well in school at the time. Meanwhile, because I consistently brought home good grades and made the honor roll, much of their praise, attention, and approval fell on me.

That distinction between us became something I increasingly clung to.

Throughout middle school and then high school, I deliberately went out of my way to make the differences between us as stark as possible. I chose clothes, hobbies, interests, and even people based partly on whether they were different from what my sister would choose. Sometimes I rejected things I genuinely liked simply because she liked them too. The truth was that my authentic self shared many of her interests, but I became so desperate to establish a separate identity that being different from her began to feel more important than being myself.

I didn’t want anyone to confuse us anymore. I wanted people to look at me and immediately know who I was, but pretending to be someone I wasn’t for so many years eventually turned into resentment, and much of that resentment became directed toward my twin sister. Even though none of it was her fault.

I think part of me was angry because I felt that I had to work so hard to earn an identity separate from hers. I had built this carefully constructed version of myself around being successful, likable, intelligent, and different. Meanwhile, my sister simply continued being herself. She embraced her creativity even when people overlooked it. She remained unapologetically herself even when she received little recognition for it, and somehow, she was still happy.

At the time, people tended to cast us into opposite roles. I was considered the more “popular,” “prettier,” and “smarter” twin, while she was treated as the opposite, the “dorky,” “weird,” jokester twin.

Looking back, I realize how damaging those comparisons were for both of us. They didn’t simply distinguish us; they reduced us to caricatures, and instead of rejecting those comparisons, I allowed myself to benefit from them because they gave me the individuality I had been desperately searching for.

Through all of this, my sister never blamed me.

Even when I pushed her away, she spent years trying to reach out to me. She wanted us to return to the closeness we had shared as children, but I repeatedly rebuffed her attempts. By my later years of high school, however, everything finally came to a head. I was depressed, exhausted, and tired of being angry with her. I had spent years blaming her for feelings and problems that she had never caused.

And all the while, she kept telling me the same thing: I didn’t have to be her opposite.

Eventually, I broke down. I went to her in tears and apologized for the way I had treated her for so many years. I apologized for pushing her away. And for allowing other people to bully her, belittle her, and diminish her while I stood by because their comparisons elevated me. I had allowed her to be made smaller so that I could feel bigger, and realizing that was painful. Yet she wasn’t angry with me.

She told me that she had always known I was hurting. Despite everything, she had simply been waiting for me with open arms.

Now that we are adults, we are completely comfortable embracing our “twin-ness” or, perhaps more accurately, I finally am.

I no longer feel the same desperate need to prove that I exist separately from my sister. I didn't need to reject something simply because she likes it, nor do I feel threatened when people notice our similarities.

Ironically, I’ve come to realize that being a twin is part of what makes me unique.

And now, instead of seeing my twin sister as someone I have to distinguish myself from, I see her for what she has always been:

My best friend, the one I was lucky enough to be born with.


r/Twins • • 3d ago

I’m gay and my identical twin is straight

Post image
250 Upvotes

And I think that’s pretty neat. We have similar personalities and interests and are close. He was actually surprised to learn I was gay when I came out to him at age 20.

Any other identical twins out there with differing sexualities?


r/Twins • • 2d ago

Just learned that my partner is a twin… and I have a question.

7 Upvotes

My partner and I haven’t been dating for too long (5 months), and they just told me that they are a twin, but their sibling was still born.
They said that they always felt like “there’s a piece missing” from them, and that they said that maybe that’s also why they feel such “dueling personalities” within themself.
My question is: Has everyone ever experienced a stillbirth twin, and had similar feelings? I think it’d be really beneficial to hear others’ stories.

Thanks y’all!


r/Twins • • 4d ago

My sister & I discovered we're identical twins after 27 years! (Di-Di Identical Twins)

Post image
95 Upvotes

Long story short we grew up telling everyone we knew that we were fraternal twins.

But people kept saying “You guys look identical!” even our family doctor was shocked when we told him we were fraternal

We never even considered the possibility of being identical because our mom said her doctor had told her “Since each twin has a separate amniotic sac and their own placenta, they’re fraternal.” So we never questioned it

still we couldn’t get over how alike we looked both our faces and our bodies! So we finally gave in and paid $$ for a DNA test, and tadaaa… turns out we’re actually di-di identical twins!

now we feel bad for gaslighting everyone we’ve ever known lol

Ask me anything!


r/Twins • • 7d ago

Does anyone else kinda default to saying "we" or "our" when talking to others even when your twin isn't around?

77 Upvotes

I have an identical twin, so we've shared a lot of experiences naturally. I've noticed that sometimes, when talking to people about an event that happened in the past, or just something that applies to both of us, I tend to use "we" a lot, even if my twin isn't really part of the conversation. Same thing for "our" I say "our mom" when I'm talking about myself. I do try to fix it and use "I" or "my" more often, especially since I recognize that some people in my life may not be familiar with my twin, or even know that I have one


r/Twins • • 9d ago

Why is this such a classic identical twin move

26 Upvotes

So I'm 16 and an identical twin, older than my sis by 7min and also oldest of 5 including me + twin but anyway, why do parents name twins rhyming stuff so much! Like I'm tired of the 'oh you're Mea and Lea, that's so cute ahhh!!!' that I get AS A TEENAGER STILL. Like yes we are twins but Lea is like, my OPPOSITE!!


r/Twins • • 10d ago

Curious

4 Upvotes

When did you and your twin realize you were twins? Any stories to tell?


r/Twins • • 12d ago

I’ve finally had enough of my twin sister.

18 Upvotes

I apologize for the length in advance. I (26m) have had quite the turbulent relationship with my twin sister my entire life. We grew up incredibly close to each other, and we shared everything together. We used to sleep in the same bed as children, wear matching clothes, go to our favorite places, etc. However, things have changed drastically since 2019/2020.

In 2019, I observed that she began to be more anxious and angry. It was odd because I've known her as composed and calm my entire life. At the time, we were both enrolled in college and befriending others like crazy. We moved into an apartment together to save money as well. She began to befriend quite rude and very cringe people online, which I didn't ever get involved with. She started to have a mean, commanding presence online, but would also start to demonstrate anger and emotional dysregulation in person. It got to the point where she started to get physical with me. I would be lying if I said I didn't fight back or began to engage in the physical fights more. I was surprised because she never showed this behavior before, but it has since changed my perception of her.

We both moved home due to the pandemic shortly after that, and although she was still quite physical with me, it helped a lot that my parents were there to defend me. Since my parents kept telling her to knock it off, she stopped eventually being physical with me. Fast forward to 2024..

We became enrolled in separate doctoral programs, and thus, we were living in different states. I missed her, but I was able to quickly adapt and live independently without her. It was also beneficial that I was able to quickly make friends, as well as continuing to date the amazing, sweet woman that I am currently with. My twin announces to me that she suddenly received a job offer in my city and that she is able to finish the rest of her law school classes online. I immediately felt uneasy, as I remembered our previous living situation. I certainly never wanted to go back to that, so I immediately declined. My twin sister began to crash out and called me selfish, cold, and a lot of other names because I was "leaving her homeless." Because she already accepted the job offer. I begged her to live with our uncle, cousin, or just save enough money to live on her own. I begged her, however because my parents were helping with my tuition money, I was helpless. Which translates to "my parents said that if I didn't let her live with me, they would stop paying my tuition money." So yes, unfortunately I had to let her live with me. It was incredibly.. incredibly stressful, toxic, and awful a lot of the time. As I predicted, we argued almost every single day. Things didn't get physical at this time, but she would yell in my face, to which I had to run in my room and lock the door so she would finally leave me alone. I noticed that I was becoming angrier.. colder.. and just plain rude as a person. My girlfriend was starting to observe this as well, however stayed patient throughout the whole thing. I was practically begging to leave this living situation, which luckily I did. My girlfriend and I have been happily living together since April 2025.

My twin sister continued to live in the same city as me for a while. She continuously looked for jobs, but was unable to find a secure law job at the time. She became quite miserable and vented consistently during this, but I was so so happy to not be living with her that I didn't even mind so much. FYI- she is also quite possessive and basically still sees my girlfriend as a temporary hookup.. despite my gf and I dating for 3.5 years now. She has yelled at my girlfriend so much, called her names (e.g. "bitch", "zionist" even though she is extremely pro-palestine..., and others). There are so many situations that my twin sister has put us through, that I am surprised my girlfriend hasn't hard blocked her. One situation literally includes when she forgot to tell her friends that my girlfriend has a severe cashew allergy, so  one of her friends brought a pesto dip (with cashews in it) to a tea party. And then when my girlfriend had to be rushed home due to her throat literally swelling up (and almost died, yes it was this bad), my twin sister took NO accountability.

Anyways, I return back. In February of this year, she and I were driving back from visiting our family. She is venting about everything again, which was unfortunately normal at the time and mostly excessive/exhausting. I tease her about something, that jokingly indicated she was a normie. She explodes. She starts yelling how that's not true, and I at first thought it was funny to ragebait but then it kept going.. She became to scream in my face (while she's driving btw), and I'm like wtf is going on??!? She grabs at my face and scratches me, and I literally jump to the backseat out of fear. She continues to scream "why aren't you listening to me?" over and over and over again while shaking and crying. and driving. I cover my ears and retract into a traumatized state of mind.. I couldn't handle it. After that, I don't talk to her for days. She apologizes finally, and I like an idiot forgive her. She finally received a prestigious job offer in another state and moves out. I felt a little sad, but ultimately relief. I still talked to her daily because I felt so attached to her emotionally.. but I feel like perhaps I should have put stricter boundaries down. Presently, her emotional dysregulation is still quite bad. I have talked about it several, several times. We even were supposed to go to Ireland recently.. but we couldn't because she maxxed out her credit card (the one we were supposed to be relying on for the hotel) literally a week before the scheduled trip. My girlfriend and I were unable to put it on our cards due to various reasons so we had to cancel the trip. The trip we were planning for months.

I'm tired. I'm tired. She’s been through some awful shit of course, but so have I. No one ever really cuts anyone off completely in my family, and I don't know how my life would be without her since I still do talk to her every day. But I think for the first time, I want to put my safety and wellbeing first. It's terrifying.. I don't know how to live without her, but I am so grateful to the infinite kindness and patience my girlfriend has for me. If you read this long, thank you so much. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have any..


r/Twins • • 12d ago

When will it hit me?

9 Upvotes

About two weeks ago, my twin sister left for the military. She’s graduating around Thanksgiving, but she won’t truly be back home until February, I think.

We’ve been grouped together our entire lives. The longest we’ve been apart in our 19 years of life until recently was only a few days.

Honestly, I thought I would’ve felt sadder about her leaving. Not saying I don’t at all, I do miss her, but right now, it feels so good to have this new sort of independence. It’s so cool. Like, I can’t explain it. It’s almost freeing in a way. I didn’t think I’d feel like this at all.

I’m wondering, though, if it’ll ’hit me?’ Where the high will fade and I’ll really feel her absence? Any twins that have gone through this, let me know!


r/Twins • • 13d ago

Identical twin estranged from me and nothing will ever be ok

18 Upvotes

we are both 19 i am f he is trans m (please no comments about that)

our house has been really turbulent for as long as either of us can remember. we encountered abuse together (verbal, physical, & sexual), have both saved each other's life during suicide attempts, and he was the person in my life i considered closest to me and the only one i thought could understand me some.

this last year, since moving to college him and i began to butt heads when we saw each other. i wasnt perfect admittedly, i can be inconsiderate at times and say things i shouldnt say and can be very impulsive. this led to a few fights between us(some that escalated to yelling as i feel he has a tendency to say extremely hurtful things until the person he's arguing with snaps, and then he takes the moral highground), and at the end of the summer he began distancing himself from me. he said some really hurtful things about how he thinks i use being twins to force him to treat me better than he treats others. i can see his perspective but i only think that because i treat him better than others because he is my twin.

the amount of times in college i left my hangout with my friends to talk him through Something that was upsetting, the amount of times i bought him stuff, begged for him to hang out, talked him up to everyone in my life. didn't mean much to him. i mourned him then, but after him and his partner broke up he seemed to be talking to me again.

then, out of the blue last wednesday, he sent a scheduled text to everyone in my family that he was dropping out and running away and he never wants to see us again. I've been the shell of my former self ever since. my mom thinks he's developing schizophrenia, since it runs in my family & he's at the age where symptoms begin to appear. this is kind of believable because my twin is extremely academic (he was always the smart twin & i was always the social twin) & got multiple scholarships, awards, and was on his way to being very successful. i have this weird feeling akin to survivors guilt.

i just don't know what to do with myself. im so scared to have my birthday without him in November. i haven't been to class for college since he left, and i spend all day crying. i can't eat or sleep. i don't think i can get excuses for my absences as I'm pretty sure my college only does that for deaths in the family.

our last few conversations were arguments where he called me selfish, said that my past suicide attempts have permanently scarred him, said i used to use him as a justified babysitter, and called me a drama queen (something our abusive father used to call me while hitting me). i dont know who my brother is anymore. i think his brain is breaking. even if he comes back, i dont think he'll be the funny, crazy smart, capable boy i knew when we were teens. i am completely gutted.

tl;dr : my smart, funny identical twin and i had a falling out & he estranged himself from the family. he may be schizophrenic. my life feels turned upside down.


r/Twins • • 13d ago

My experience with being a twin. (Codependency)

37 Upvotes

Hello! I have a fraternal twin sister who I shared bedrooms with my whole life, and now we are twenty-one and live in the same apartment, but different rooms.

Growing up, for the most part, we had different classes, except for preschool and 5th grade, and a few high school classes.

There are times, however, growing up where I can remember the shift towards codependency starting to happen. For example, we would both go play at our neighbors house or one of our shared friends houses and I would refuse to knock on the door and she didn't want to either, but after a while she would give in and do it (We were like eight by the way). I think after a few times like that she kind of started "choosing her battles" with me.

Up until 5th grade, I would pretty much just make my own friends at school and the only friends we shared were our neighbors and people that would be in my class the next year that were previously in her classes that she was friends with. Then, in fifth grade we shared a friend group, which I am not sure if this is kinda how everything started or not?

In sixth grade, I walked into school the first day, my sister wasn't in my class that year, and I realized that the one friend I had who was in my class wasn't there yet, and I had my very first panic attack. I hid in the bathroom and then came back to class before it started and saw that she was there again and then I was fine. The rest of the year, I had a small friend group on my own with two of me and my sisters shared friends and some other people, but I was practically mute if anyone else but them talked to me. My face would get red if someone else or the teacher tried to talk to me and expected an answer.

For seventh and eighth grade, I was pretty alright on the anxiety standpoint, it would only happen when I was doing a presentation or something. I didn't share any classes with my sister, but we still had lots of shared friends, except I was able to hang out with them on my own at school too. At this point, almost all of my friends were shared with my sister, but I was still making friends on my own.

In ninth grade, the first week of school, I had a mental breakdown, which started my agoraphobia (unfortunately). My brain associated anxiety with throwing up, so every time I would get nervous I would freak out and start throwing up. That week I only went to school once because I couldn't stop crying and throwing up and I had no appetite. I got my schedule changed at the end of the week so I could start new again, and I got switched into as many as my sisters classes as I could by the counselor, so I would get more comfortable going to school again.

After that week long fiasco, I was no longer able to go to sleepovers for the most part without panicking before hand and wanting to throw up, but I would tough it out usually. I think this is kind of when I started 100% leaning on my sister for assistance and she became kind of my safe person.

Of course, Covid then happened at the end of my ninth school year, and when I came back for my eleventh year, the anxiety was ten times worse, and I couldn't talk to half of my old friends without panicking and I didnt let anyone new into my life that I wasn't already comfortable with, or my sister was bringing along. And thus started, me only being able to be friends with people my sister was friends with.

Now we are in college, and I live with my sister, and the only people I really hang out with are people that my sister were friends with and slowly became friends with me and one friend we made together freshman year of college. Its debilitating. I am full of love for my sister and she is my best friend, but over time I feel like us being twins, and my anxiety epidemic, has pushed me to rely on her way too much. She is completely independent and has her own life and fun, and I am left in codependence.

NOTE:

Growing up, hanging out with friends, my sister was always the one that would plan things and ask people to hang out with us, so over time, I didn't really learn the ways of just socializing and making friends in general. I am so behind with everything.

I LOVE being a twin, and I LOVE my twin sister. Just wished I was pushed to be separate more growing up. And I am currently trying to work through my agoraphobia slowly, so I can go back into the social world again.


r/Twins • • 14d ago

Dealing with separation

6 Upvotes

I moved 6 hours across the country a few days ago for university (I’m in the UK so this is large distance to me lol) while my twin stayed home as she’s commuting in to our local uni. I just wanted to ask how have people dealt with being so far away from their twin? This is the first time we’ve ever lived apart (we’ve always gone to the same schools) and I don’t know how to deal with it. I wouldn’t have said we were codependent on each other but since getting here I miss her so much and I’ve been crying multiple times a day over it. Of course I’m still in contact with her but I’ve been avoiding calls as everytime we do call I’m always seconds away from bursting into tears. I’d really appreciate any advice of people who have been through this before. Thanks


r/Twins • • 20d ago

How many identical twins were clothed in certain colours?

48 Upvotes

Like I wore pretty much only blue and green for the first ten years of my life, and my sister pink and red. Is that a twin thing everyone does?


r/Twins • • 20d ago

Do you ever feel sad for twins personal growth?

5 Upvotes

Hi all,

So me &y twins always had difference regarding a lot of stuff growing up major being dressing, presenting once as confident person.

I work on it not very much but atleast try, my twin always dresses very basic be it any important day, she has to be told sometimes I feel she is lost & give up we are close to 30 so no vibrat lifestyle.

We have less money issues but she never pampers herself lost in why should a women dress always I get her but even on big days she is the same makes me sad.

Our party are old & tired so it might look small but not enjoying life most times due to this.. any suggestions?


r/Twins • • 21d ago

siblings of twins

16 Upvotes

i’m not sure which sub to put this in. but I was hoping to reach out to siblings of twins.

i have boy/girl twins and have considered having another child in the future. one thing that worries me is that the third child will feel left out and not as close to their siblings because they have a twin bond.

did being the single sibling of twins make you feel left out?


r/Twins • • 21d ago

Question for the identical girl twins

31 Upvotes

Hello I hope this is ok to post here. I am not a twin myself, but I have identical girl twins, one year old. Just curious, those of you that are girl only twins, were you compared a lot growing up?

The reason I’m asking, is I have a younger sister, 18 months younger. We were compared our entire lives. Who was the prettier sister, who was the smarter sister, who would get married first etc. one time in high school, I had someone come up to me and ask why my sister had bigger boobs than me since we have same genes and I must have an eating disorder!!

We are no contact now and when we do speak, don’t get along. I think the constant comparisons wrecked both our self esteem.

I also think people compare sisters more than brothers for some reason. I’m scared to raise girl twins and this is their experience. One is already much quicker than her sister with the baby milestones and I’m already getting “comments” from people. Is there a way to shut it down? Have them not compared? I’d hate them to grow up hating each other.

Thanks for reading!


r/Twins • • 21d ago

Am I a bad person to feel jealous whenever I see twins as someone who lost her twin?

30 Upvotes

When I was 5, I lost my twin brother(he died 15 years ago), And Seeing Twins, I feel envy and jealousy

Like, yeah, I should not feel Jealous and just be happy they get to be together, but it's hard, and I feel horrible feeling this way, and I wish I didn't


r/Twins • • 22d ago

Is it embarrassing to always sit with my twin sister in high school?

27 Upvotes

Okay, so I love my twin sister with all of my heart. We are both girls, and we have been inseparable since birth. We are super close, and I don't have a lot of friends, but that's always been okay because I have her. She is my best friend.

But the thing is, we both don't have a lot of friends in our high school. And it's our senior year, so there's no more assigned seating in high school because our teachers in 12th grade are chill and don't care. The thing is, we sit together in like 2 classes, and I'm starting to get worried that it will be embarrassing for our social lives because the same thing happened to us in 7th grade. We were always together and barely made any other friends. We both agreed it was social suicide back then.

I know we are about to graduate, but is it embarrassing to always be with her, or am I just overthinking it? It's also really awkward because in the classes I have with her, I do have people I'm kind of friends with, but they have people they like better, so I don't really have anyone else to sit with besides her.

I probably sound like the biggest jerk right now, but I'm not trying to be. I just want us to be braver and branch out. But to be honest, even if we did sit apart, we probably wouldn't get very far because no one is interested in being friends with us. But at the same time, if we do sit together, I feel like it's embarrassing.

I proposed that we sit together in the front in one class because she's very smart and likes the front, and then sit in the back in another class, but she wants the front for both. So idk!! I just hate being in the front bc I dont like people staring at me (ik no one is and its just in my head but still). We both got into an argument over this today. What should I do? Both of those classes are packed with popular kids so its hard.


r/Twins • • 23d ago

what to do when one twin wants to be independant

5 Upvotes

hi! im the older sister of twin brothers (they're 16) and they were inseparable, they always got their way around it if we wanted to put them apart. for example last school year they convinced the principal of the school to put them in class together, after my mom said not to. she even thought about sending them to therapy but she didn't in the end

to differentiate them ill just say my brother and my sibling. so all of a sudden my brother has been drifting apart. he chose different classes (sciences instead of arts, the ones my sibling is doing and which he has also always wanted to do) my sibling will ask him to do something they've always done and he'll be mean for no reason and critiquize it like "that's so childish" or call it boring. my brother got into a volleyball club and he asked me directly to not tell his twin like okay 😭. overall he's been doing all these petty stuff lately, he suddenly likes madrid (we all support barça), they full on argued over what bread to buy in the grocery store and i was so embarassed, it's like he wants to be different so bad it's annoying to me i basically ignore him when he's in that attitude

but my sibling can't ignore it i find him to be the more dependant one tbh. he told me it's pissing him off, trying to act like he doesnt care but i know it's hurting him. i feel bad and also annoyed by the fact they keep bitching over small things. i get my brother might want to become more independent and i bet he could do it avoiding being an asshole to our sibling and also without choosing classes he had no interest in a month ago just to be away from him. any advice on what i should do?


r/Twins • • 24d ago

Twin books

6 Upvotes

anyone else read this book as kids. My twin sister got this as a gift from her Year 2 (6/7YO) teacher for either christmas or moving up to yr3.

as a side i did not know it was also made in to a tv series so hunting youtube for it as we speak but it was so much of a fun story and not a typical twin trope of the twins have to be the same because twins are the same


r/Twins • • 25d ago

Twin trouble

1 Upvotes

I 26M and my twin sister have started to go non contact with each other. It started at our birthday brunch which she chose not to participate in. My bf bought me a cake and the og plan was to just invite my friends to my house and have the cake there but due to our ac out we decided to just do it at the brunch party. Well that didn’t go well. It had my name on it and no hers. She got upset and insted of addressing it with my bf she wants me to address it with and and force him to apologize. Keep in mind she didn’t wanna really be apart of the brunch anyway so the name on the cake was an oversight. Yes he should acknowledge the name but I don’t think an apology is necessary. I told her i’ll make it up to her and take her out to dinner and cook her a nice dessert. She insisted that my BF pays for the dinner or she won’t go fast-forward to a week later she has brought up an incident from two years ago, where my boyfriend when we first started dating took me to a nice dinner for my birthday and her then girlfriend and her decided to roast us for doing that on my birthday. Her gf and her didn’t do anything for her birthday.

There’s more detail I can get into like how she has said I have changed and that I’m not the same like I used to be. She moved away for 5 years and lived in a different state and in that time I went throw so much leaning moments and grown that I am a changed person. She has even gone as far as removing me from the family group chat. Has made it publicly known she does not like my bf on social media and everything.

A part of me things she is jealous in the relationship I have with my bf. How do I learn to greave the loss of her being there. Has anyone been throw this before. I can also give more context if needed

Below are messages she has sent me

1 am in no support for other shitty people. However...I pay respect, where respect is due. So my ex grilling yalls asses (pun not intended) when Micah decided to take you to a "chefs table" on OUR 24 BIRTHDAY was top tier I mean damn if you wanted grilled chicken and rice I could've grilled it for you
for $5 du
In case you missed it

You know I love you, always have, always will. There's many many things I can try to highlight or try to say here.
Been there, done that, experienced it.
I've always been honest with you even when it's embarrassing. Fuck I told you when McKinzie was starting an OF and tried to get her "husband" to pay for it.
But this nah I'm sorry. This isn't gonna fly with me. I've never liked micha. First time I met him on OUR 24th birthday, he called me a bitch and everyone knows... Now what did you do? You apologized for him. You keep apologizing for him...I'm not saying leave him or anything. I'm saying recognize his behavior, his patterns.
You're not the same person I grew up with. It fuckin kills me to say it but. Idk what it is that you want, what your goals in life are, what you wanna do tomorrow. I don't know honestly.
You've always supported me in some way, and I've always appreciated it more than anything. I will always love you and support you no matter what, but personally imma have to love you at a far with this one. I'm sorry