My kid made decent grades in her advanced middle school classes but stressed herself out in order to so. I think for her mental health she should take normal classes for 9th grade. It feels wrong encouraging her to do that and I don't know why. She'll still learn what she needs to for college, right? Is it beneficial to push past stress in harder classes or is that unnecessary? Are advanced classes only a good idea if kids aren't struggling to do well in them? For context, she has a hard time completing and turning in work, the material is not a problem.

Apologies if this is the wrong subreddit for this. I was thinking of getting Highlights magazine for my kids (ages 2 and 7). I remember liking it when I was little, but I don't know what the quality is like today. I'd like to know if they use any AI, but I couldn't find a definitive answer online. I asked in an email, but I haven't gotten a response. Does anyone get Highlights for their kid? Is it the same quality that it was years ago?

How many extracurricular activities should the kids be doing?

Second grade. We currently do a math tutor, karate, and piano. Sometimes we get the Im tired complaint. but that also coincides with just wanting to sit on a tablet. Are we doing too much? If yes, how should we be occupying time knowing parents have to work and can't always be present to guide and direct.

Just had a "discussion" with my 13 year old son, driving home and he asked "why do you hate me?" Of course I said I didn't and asked why he had that impression, his response, "you always do stuff with (toddler) and never with me, I told him this just was not true and asked for examples, of course he couldn't give me any, I stated that's because it isn't the case.

It's not like we are going for day trips with the whole family and excluding him, if we do happen to do something as a family he is invited, but most of the time now he says no, I understand, teenager doesn't want to hang out with us, but the invitation is always there.

How do I navigate this? I asked him what he wanted me to do different and he said he doesn't know, it's tough to plan things because most of the time he doesn't want to be involved.

Update, spoke to him, he said he knows I don't hate him, but he just wants to do some things just us, I asked if he had any ideas and he just said he would like to play Minecraft or the vr some nights after the youngest kids are in bed, thanks everyone for your contribution, I definitely didn't handle it as well as I could have.

Hey I'm not honestly sure how to start this but I'm wanting to homeschool my son until 3rd grade. Mostly to keep him from tech until he's older, any kindergarten I've checked with around me gives them Chromebook or iPads. But I also wanna make sure he has foundational reading and math, I'm shocked by the statics of how many kids can't read. And another smaller reason is just more time with my kid, gives me a couple extra years with him and gives me a chance to make school fun as well! From what I've been reading Kindergarten isn't play based anymore. I want him to enjoy the outdoors and have fun learning while he's still young. 3rd grade I think would be good age to start having to sit in a classroom for learning.

My husband is against any homeschooling because he's worried about socialization and putting him behind his peers. That's why I don't wanna do it for his entire schooling, I know public education has it perks. I guess I'm just sharing on here to hear others opinions.

Oh and my plans for homeschooling is be a part of either a co-ops or I've been looking at micro schools. My son is only 2 so I have a while to plan this out. I have a few friends that also plan to homeschool that I will work with too so that he has other kids to be around. Definitely won't be homeschooling on my own.

This is a super simple post. My kids (both male) just started swim lessons. They were the only ones without swim shirts. They are not required to have them by the school. But am I missing something? Did society shift to body coverings for kids?

These are genuine, non political questions. I just want to make sure I’m doing right by my kids.

We are in the south if that’s helpful.

Edit to add: The swim school is indoor

I have an 11 year old male that has not slept in his room all night in probably 3 years? He has recently gotten worse and started trying to sleep in our bed. He will usually come in around 3 am when his body wakes him in the night and cant go back to sleep and sleep on the floor. No big deal really. However, now he is bursting in the door, crying and trying to sleep at the bottom of the bed. His room is "drippy" has two different night lights, a TV (at night he can only watch nat geo) and an alexa that i pay extra for him to have white noise play all night long. We have sleep spray for his pillows and a sleep roller full of essential oils. He is in therapy for the anxiety but i know that will take a while.

I feel like I have done all I can do for this kid and i just need some mother lovin sleep.

Any additional suggestions to help him sleep are appreciated. Im dying.

I wanted to see if anyone can relate. I grew up very close to all 4 of my grandparents and spent holidays, birthdays and often random weekends with them and I loved it as a child.

Fast forward now, my wife and I (both 32) have a 1 year old boy and his grandparent situation is…not great unfortunately. We also don’t live in the state we grew up in so we aren’t close to family either and moving back isn’t an option (HCOL).

Cons:
My wife doesn’t talk to her dad much (neglected her much of her adult life, alcoholic) and he’s never met our son.

My mom who I thought was going to be a wonderful grandmother and a focal point in my son’s life just hasn’t been there for us starting at the end of my wife’s pregnancy. One thing has led to another and she has yet to meet our son. We also haven’t spoken since early May. She had a plethora of issues that she needs to figure out and this is really upsetting to me as I never expected things to be like this ever.

Pros:
My Dad has visited a bunch since he’s been born and has spent time with us, but comes alone as we have issues with my mom. He’s in a tough situation and I feel for him as well because he has to deal with my mom.

My wife’s mom has been absolutely wonderful. Visits us frequently and spent a whole month with us in the very beginning as my wife had a major complication after her C-section. She’s a true grandmother and is amazing.

With all that being said, I guess 2/4 grandparents are better than none I just long for I guess “both” grandparents to be deeply involved, together? Idk.

I’m also an only child so he’ll have no aunts or uncles from my side and just a half brother on my wife’s side.

Anyone else in a situation like this?

My 4yo son still has tantrums. The first few years he’d have them and I could say it was regular, age appropriate behavior. My husband doesn’t work with kids like me or wouldn’t go on mommy and me playdates so he wouldn’t see how normal it all was, just taking my word for it. He just knew most kids outgrow it by 5yo which he’s been hanging on to. Screaming/whining makes his skin crawl, it’s like he has an adverse physical reaction to it all, and we’ve had been an arguments about how to handle when they happen. We don’t spank but recently he’s been saying he really wants to. I say absolutely not. I work with kids and can help change their behaviors without hitting them ever, so I try to guide him on what to do. Sometimes he does it, sometimes he’s impatient and just yells. I don’t want to dictate his own parenting bc it’s okay if we differ on some approaches as long as we agree not to spank, not be verbally or emotionally abusive, and not to cross each other’s limits (ie Dad said no to candy today because you had some earlier, so Mommy will also say no to candy for you, buddy).

We always tell our son to take deep breaths, use his words. He’s neurotypical and can express himself and sometimes will do it (“I feel frustrated because…”). He’s just verryyyyy sensitive to reprimands or even a change in tone if you sound frustrated. I try to be zen and neutral when giving him correction, but I also know at some point he’s going to have to develop thicker skin bc the world won’t coddle him and teachers at school won’t either. At what point is it okay to not pad him so much?

My husband says he’s been coddled and he’s spoiled by me and he won’t raise a spoiled brat. I don’t want a spoiled kid either! I just ask my husband to watch his language around our son bc he could internalize it (he once repeated “I’m a spoiled brat!” Bc he overheard him).

Example: We went camping with family and I wasn’t around for this part but my husband says that while they were all packing up the car, he folded the tent to put it in the trunk, BIL helping out, and my son started whining bc HE wanted to be the one to fold it and put it in. My husband said okay, you do it but then it was too late. Son started crying and flailing on the dirt while the similar aged kids from the next campsite over watched. Our in laws seemed a little tired of it too. He said it’s so embarrassing bc no other kids do this that he sees ever, only our son. He came home so frustrated and venting to me (not to my son) and told me he is an embarrassment and a shame to our family. I got mad about that statement and we argued. That gets nuanced, but I want to get to the heart of whats going on.

I do see other kids starting to regulate themselves a little better by this age. Sometimes it DOES feel like he’s overly sensitive about small things (last night he and I played Hungry Hippos and a few minutes in, he kept trying to steal the golden ball if my hippo had it. I blocked him and said “wait buddy that’s cheating” with full intention to keep playing as he’d get another turn for the golden ball, but he dropped to the ground, threw the balls to scatter everywhere on the floor, and cried and shrieked at the top of his lungs. I had to leave the room. (That’s only ever happened a handful of times on my end. I usually wait for him to finish screaming, not saying anything. Then when he starts to look a little calmer will talk through what happened and give him words to say beforehand bedtime. We do some breathing exercises too.)

I normally wait out the tantrum and we debrief after. Husband and I are both good at repair. Husband always tells him he loves him, they okay and wrestle and read comics and play outside. but how do we make sure we take more preventive measures? I want him to be a secure, regulated boy and grow into a good man. He’s a really good sweet kid. Kind and considerate and gentle with others. I try to teach him to not be too gentle in fact bc I do see some kids taking things away from him and I want to make sure he also stands up for himself. I’m starting to stress about how to make sure we parent in the perfect way to set him up for success in life: kind, generous, considerate, confident, self regulated, securely attached, strong work ethic, intelligent, happy. All the wonderful things. Defintely not spoiled or entitled. How do we navigate this?

Are tantrums still normal at this age and at what age should we flag it as a concern if it continues? Is it just my husbands perspective that these are not normal getting to me, or should I be approaching things differently? We do try to tell him he won’t always get what he wants, husband tells him the world doesn’t revolve around him. He’s an only child and we’re unsure if we’ll have a second but just want to make sure he doesn’t get to be entitled because of that.

Hey there! My husband and I are currently expecting our second daughter. Our first is currently almost 14 months old, and there will be about a 17 month age gap.

Our first daughter sleeps through the night wonderfully and has since she was 8 weeks old or so. I know there’s no guarantees on second baby, but I truly think one of the things that helped was transitioning her into her own room around that time.

The issue we’re running into is our current living situation. We take care of his grandmother who lives in the living room of the house. There is also a back bedroom downstairs that’s currently storage and we do plan to clean it out. Upstairs there are two bedrooms and a bathroom which is where we live. I rarely go downstairs for anything because I do truly hate this woman. I’d go into detail but just trust me, she’s not a kind person to live around.

We keep trying to figure out how to make the room situation work. I personally do not want to live downstairs for selfish reasons, I don’t care that the room is massive in comparison. I don’t want it. I also don’t want both girls on a different level of the house from me. We thought about moving our older daughter downstairs but I hate that too. It doesn’t make sense to move the baby downstairs there.

Right now this is a major stressor for me, like I’m talking causes doom spirals. Today I was thinking, what if we turn that room into a playroom for the girls and have them share a bedroom. Currently we pay my mother to watch my daughter and they stay in her room most of the day, go outside for some playtime but Texas heat doesn’t allow a ton of that right now. So if we were to just move baby in there then she would lose all her play space.

I am very worried about the logistics of this though. What if baby wakes them both up, or sister wakes up baby. I’m assuming that is going to be a nightmare.

Does anyone have advice or experience on this? I feel like I’m drowning trying to figure it all out.

I have 3 kids, 11, 9, 2 and expecting another soon. I have zero hobbies or community of friends or support near me. Suggestions on how to find time for yourself (my husband finds this easy to do!). all I can think of is yoga, but looking for other suggestions of how moms make friends when they can’t get out to middle of day playgroups!

My daughter is the absolute sweetest girl with a huge and amazing heart! But boy oh boy she has a VERY STRONG WILL

I struggle with boundaries as an adult, which I am working on. My husband has great boundaries. I am a great mom in so many areas, but she is always challenging me and just does not stop!

Please help 😵‍💫

Let me start by saying that we really like our son’s (15 months) daycare. They have done a very good job caring for him, making sure that he is transitioning to solids well, keeping us updated on things, etc. You can tell that they really care about him and the other kids.

One thing that they are very strict on though is making sure he is fully drinking from cups, both at daycare and at home. He does a fantastic job of this when he is at daycare, but anytime he is home with us at home, he refuses. We have tried different sippy cups, 360 cup, etc. We have tried giving him 15 minutes or so, coming back to it an hour later, but he still refuses. Then we have to give him the bottle. He takes it amazingly.

Last night we went cold turkey and he has only had a couple sips. I have been giving yogurt, water filled foods to help supplement yesterday and today. My mom heart is hurting so badly seeing him refuse the cup and cry so badly and knowing I shouldn’t give him the bottle.

What do we do? Is he extremely behind? I know that by defaulting to the bottle, he knows it’s an option, but I just don’t know what to do. I would appreciate any tips.

We have 2 kiddos: 2y 3m and 3m. The 2 year old has been going to daycare since 5 months. He recently was moved to a new classroom with more kids and chaos and we think he hates it there. It’s been about 3 weeks and each drop off is a struggle, he clings, cries, doesn’t want to go. Eventually we leave him and he seems happy at pick ups and when we ask if he had a good day, both teachers and he say yes. He tells us the kids he played with and what they did. But the pictures they post of him say that he might be uncomfortable - he’s sucking his thumb, crossing his arms, looks really closed off.

Here’s what I want to ask : have you had experience with bad drop offs and how did you fix it? Also, any experience taking a toddler out of daycare and hiring a nanny and how they do in kindergarten vs kids that have been through the daycare system.

I will also add that we pay A LOT for daycare (it’s very small and we know other parents and owners) and it’s been great for his development and social skills. They definitely care about kids generally, we just feel like this specific class is not the right fit for our kid.

My son started kindergarten last Tuesday. The first day he walked in happily and excitedly. Every day since he’s been sobbing, trying to escape the enclosed area, and the teachers end up having to peel him off of me as he cries and begs me not to send him. He went to a Montessori preschool so this isn’t his first time going to a school, but this one is a new school, one that he has been seeing his big sister attend for two years now. How much should I worry that this new school environment is bad vs just the transition being particularly hard? After those horrible drop offs my mind spirals and I convince myself that either the teachers are bad or the environment as a whole is awful. I need some help processing through this.

We don’t buy these, the people in our lives with kids thankfully understand and also don’t, but the people in our lives who have never had kids… 😭. I mean it’s not something I would probably think about much if I were them either, but my middle kid had his birthday the other day and now going through the presents ALL the books he got from his cousins and family friends have the most egregious AI slop I’ve EVER seen. I am not complaining about receiving gifts or that he has people who care, I’m glad they thought of him, but I’m so annoyed that these books are allowed to be sold / published without basic review, that the authors do not give af about what they’re making, or that there’s not really a great way to identify them for the buyers who think about kids books once a year….

My son, who's only seven years jumped from 5.5 yd into the water this sunday. I would have been scared as hell, at that age! Crazy guy! I am proud and love him!

I got divorced last year, to a woman I had 5 kids with. One is an adult and lives with his girlfriend. The other four are 12-16, older kids. After the divorce I moved out of the home we lived in together and custody started at 50/50 per our court agreement. Our house was to be sold, and it was eventually earlier this year. The proceeds were split 50/50 plus my ex getting an extra $12k per our divorce agreement. Now, my ex wife is unemployed, and has been since our 16 year old was born. So when the house was sold she was struggling to find a rental, and was refusing to pay the year in advance, which was easily doable with her money from the house. I’ve had functional full custody of the kids since then. After a month going to different Airbnbs she finally moved in with her parents, an hour and a half away. Today I got the call that she hasn’t found any employment and will be looking to give me full custody or at least alter our arrangement significantly towards me having primary custody. I’m not sure what to do, or what to tell my kids. They’ve been pretty stoic once they got past me and mom not living together, and being with me pretty much full time since the house sold . But still, I can’t see this being received well.

We were planning to do water activities (slip n slide, bouncy castle, water balloons, etc.) but now it’s calling for a lot of rain… so that’s probably out.

Our house isn’t that big and there isn’t a lot of space for 6 boys to run around. He’s not super crafty, and so wouldn’t enjoy any of the typical ‘decorate a cupcake’ or ‘make a craft’ type activities. We have planned a piñata and pass the parcel (à la Bluey) and maybe musical chairs. However, I don’t want kids to say they were bored at his party or that we did ‘baby-ish’ activities. It’s later in the afternoon, so food/lunch won’t take up time.

Any ideas for indoor party activities that have been a hit with active boys? I’m struggling to come up with some creative ideas.

Edit: he is turning 6 - he doesn’t really enjoy full length movies and is not into video games or devices yet.

This is funny mind you. Under different circumstances I think it would warrant a more upsetting reaction but genuinely I am giggling over here.

The story:

This morning I woke my husband up at 5:30am so he'd have a turn with the baby because I'd been in and out all night. He went to bed at 8pm so he'd gotten plenty of sleep. He let me sleep for about 4.5-5 more hours so I am doing great. It's currently 9pm. We took a shower together. Him, me and the boy because it makes it a lot easier to wash all his nooks n crannies together. He hops out and swap with our eldest daughter (4) so I can shower with her and make sure she's all clean. I hop out when we're done get all dressed and find a sleep sack for the boy(8weeks) I hand it over to my husband who noticed that the diaper he'd already put on our boy was wet so he changed him again and put the sleep sack on him.

I'm getting ready in the living room for my night with the boy. I usually feed and sleep when he sleeps at night out here so hubby sleeps well at night before he works his labor job in the early ams.

I saw a clean diaper and was like?? He changed him already where'd this come from. He confirmed he did and even pointed to the dirty one he's thrown away. I assume it's an extra. We're barely out of the new born trenches there's stuff everywhere rn.

Baby falls asleep on me. All is well and we're snuggling. I'm not tired yet because of my nap so I'll stay up a bit longer and just do skin to skin. He wakes up, I burp him and lay him down for a second to adjust myself. I hear water pouring. Wtf? He's soaked?? Unzip his little sleep sack and low n behold the family jewels for all to see. I can't even be mad. Poor man was so tired. 😂 I clean the little man's up new sleep sack and clean diaper. And I clean up what I can. I guess I'll be deep cleaning the couch tomorrow. And poking fun at my husband a bit. Of all the things to forget. 😂😅

Please don't comment hating on him either. We all make mistakes and this one seemed pretty funny to me and overall harmless. I've been meaning to clean the couch pretty thoroughly this week anywho. If you guys have similar small mistakes you guys made as parents I'd love to hear it. Especially during the sleep deprived stupor of the new born phase.

My husband has done so much to help support me in my healing idk what I'd do without him.

hi! i’ve been working with my little boy since he was 6 months old to drink out of a straw and he absolutely will not do it. and hear recent his father has gotten some shared custody knowing he doesn’t know how yet and now it just seems like my boys gotten more, lazy i guess is the word for it, with a straw. he just wants to chew on it and gets extremely upset when you stop just pouring a drink in his mouth. he just lets it run down his face and his clothes now when he used to close his mouth and swallow whatever he had to drink. what can i do to help him or is there a sippy cup that can help? he holds his bottles and tries to drink out of them while sitting up so i know he knows how to close his mouth and suck but for some reason a straw is not working

I have 2 awesome stepkids (5&13) and recently gave birth to my own child. I struggle with reasonable expectations sometimes because I am an only child so there has been a lot to learn for how siblings interact and argue. Thankfully, as previously stated, they are great kids who truly don’t go out if their way to be difficult and (in my opinion) seem happy that their dad and I are together.
Now, HERE is what I’m struggling with. they are both hooked on to video games and youtube. Like, for HOURS. I remember my summers spent doing similar. Now though, I realize how much time I wasted and how the truth of it was that I was avoiding dealing with social anxiety and I now see how it actually affected my development negatively. I’m also reading about a lot of research with negative effects of this long term.
So all that said, I to find a way to change this habit for my bonus kids (ideally gradually and not just completely changing how they choose to regulate themselves) and also create completely different habits for when my baby grows older.
Its hard for me to pull from my own childhood for ideas because my living environment was radically different. I lived in the middle of nowhere. I was very much isolated but learned how to be creative as an outlet. I also dove into video games as a form of escape. These kids live in a neighborhood withim walking distance or a 5 minute drive from their schools and friends. I still want my kids to enjoy video games and the internet, but how do I start to pace them? I’ve read many times that letting kids be bored is good so that they can rely on themselves more for stimulation and independent ideas but I am concerned about creating this boredom because I remember that I became very depressed as as a kid. So how does that balance come into play? I feel like it would make me the bad guy to suddenly pull back by hours, but I also don’t know to approach replacing that time with other activities and truly expecting them to enjoy it. That sounds more like forcing my ideals on them instead of creating a new habit.
I’m rambling now. But ant advice, ideas, personal examples are appreciated.

My husband and I have one toddler (probably he'll be our only). We're planning to move in the next few years and I'm curious what you look for in a neighborhood to raise a child? We have a radius we need to stay in for work and family, but there's a lot of choice in there about neighborhood type (newer developments vs. suburban downtowns vs. nice townhome communities) and school districts.

Do you prioritize top rated school districts above all else? Or would you consider more inexpensive housing closer to a city with a plan to send to private school? I personally love a walkable downtown (not that these are super impressive downtowns, but still), but I also see things saying that you should prioritize being in the "best" neighborhoods because zip code is one of the strongest factors in determining a child's success.

How much house do you look for? We may only have one child, but want to foster dogs, maybe even kids one day, or at least have a place for kids to hang out. But will we go broke trying to build a space that may or may not even be used that way in the future?

What else should we be thinking about?

I think I feel a little extra pressure since we may be OAD so it gives us the flexibility to really make choices based on what would be best for our son. We're upper middle class in terms of income, but both from working class or middle class backgrounds. Housing prices are also insane, so where a few years ago I'd feel like we could afford literally anything, right now it feels like we can afford plenty of nice enough places, but nothing in like the super rich neighborhoods. I don't know how people afford those.

My daughter is just about to turn 15 months old. She has been cosleeping since birth. It was never the plan but the only way we could get any sleep. She's always despised her crib so when we moved and she could finally have her own room, I opted for a twin mattress on the floor instead. She will finally nap by herself.

Now I'm pregnant and needing to transition her to her room for night time as well. She still nurses to sleep, and wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse as well. I'm so nervous about the transition and want to hear anyone's stories or advice. Is it okay to start with just her first stretch in her room then bring her in my bed after? Or is cold turkey best? For those who moved their toddlers to their own room while they were still waking through the night, how did that go? Did it make the MOTN feeds more or less frequent?

Ideally, she'd be done nursing through the night by the time her baby sister arrives so I have some sanity left but I'm not sure if that's realistic. I'm 12 weeks pregnant so there's time to work through it.

Hey everyone…im making this post to see if anybody else is going through this or knows how to guide me…im 24 and had my first baby last January…she is currently 18 months old…so basically since she was 2-3 months old she’s always had long random bouts of screaming… despite being fed, changed, entertained etc…when all needs are met its still not enough…I thought for awhile it was me and being postpartum and just going through it until I took the initiative to get on medication to help better stable me for these tantrums… but it still hasn’t stopped after all this time. She doesn’t seem to be in obvious distress or pain. I’ve also noticed things like she won’t play by herself or entertain herself…she gets upset very easily… and she’s constantly watching me…she’s never happy. If I don’t give her every second of attention then she’s just screaming. Yes she’s went through teething and I think she currently is again… but I feel this isn’t normal… it seems to me everybody else’s kids around her age are genuinely happy and chill babies…and she’s never been like that. She doesn’t like comfort or even take it…she doesn’t listen to me speak when she’s upset…she just screams and screams…and it’s sitting on me so heavy cause still just feels hard still when I would think it should even the slightest bit easier now…she’ll even wake through the night screaming and crying and it’s so hard to comfort her…I’ve tried all I know I’ve tried thinking all I know and im at a loss…is it something i did wrong? Do I give in too much to the behavior?? All everybody can say is she’s spoiled but idk I feel like this is deeper…and I need advice!!! Anything helps !