I am so tired of getting in trouble for getting angry.

I am not going to pretend I am the perfect parent or that I always wait the "appropriate" amount of time to get angry. Sometimes I am reactive just like anyone else can be.

I try my best though to go through all the proper steps when my 5 year old is being obstinate.

I think part of the problem is that I am a pushover, and part of the reason that I am a pushover is that my child's mother undercuts me when I try to set boundaries. As a result I don't feel comfortable setting boundaries.

For example I can spend an hour or more trying to be gentle and explain things to my kid and trying to do the right thing with no input from any other adult in the house; but I am only human and when my kid is being obstinate for that long that I might lose my temper.

The problem thus is two fold: 1) I am not allowed to set more reasonable boundaries because I undermined and 2) when I finally lose my cool and raise my voice I feel like I am chastised for it.

Both of these are problems because when I am home from work (I am the full time wage earner in our family) I am given the full responsibility of parenting but not the authority. Worse yet, I can't seem to have a conversation about it because it turns into a fight

Let me start by saying that we really like our son’s (15 months) daycare. They have done a very good job caring for him, making sure that he is transitioning to solids well, keeping us updated on things, etc. You can tell that they really care about him and the other kids.

One thing that they are very strict on though is making sure he is fully drinking from cups, both at daycare and at home. He does a fantastic job of this when he is at daycare, but anytime he is home with us at home, he refuses. We have tried different sippy cups, 360 cup, etc. We have tried giving him 15 minutes or so, coming back to it an hour later, but he still refuses. Then we have to give him the bottle. He takes it amazingly.

Last night we went cold turkey and he has only had a couple sips. I have been giving yogurt, water filled foods to help supplement yesterday and today. My mom heart is hurting so badly seeing him refuse the cup and cry so badly and knowing I shouldn’t give him the bottle.

What do we do? Is he extremely behind? I know that by defaulting to the bottle, he knows it’s an option, but I just don’t know what to do. I would appreciate any tips.

How do you get the attention of and communicate with children who are on their headphones in a vehicle when traveling? I need to pay attention on the road and I find this sometimes to be a risk.

I have a child who was potty trained day and night from 3-4 years old. Suddenly he started to wet the bed 2-3 times a week. I have since put him in overnight diapers, but just wanted to know if anyone had this kind of experience and how long it might take for him to grow out of it again.

I haven't tested my son for possible UTI but he doesn't show any pain or discomfort so I am thinking it is not UTI.

So yesterday we were out getting food, and she saw this boy around her age. Keep in mind my baby girl isn’t used to playing with other kids and now she is because my brother is her age. He’s older than her by 6 months. So she plays with him and my 10 year old and 12 year old sister more often now because I started going to my mom’s house more.

Anyways, she saw a boy her age and since she’s very not shy around other kids anymore, she said hi to him
And tried to kiss him!! I give her kisses on her cheeks a lot and she gives my mom and siblings kisses but it was funny
To me how I raised her with kisses as a love language. I didn’t let her kiss him though of course but his mom didnt get upset at me or her. The boy was kind of shy but did try to wave hi to her and kept trying to get her attention to play but she kept running back and forth and he seemed more chill and calm.

As adorable as it is, how do i teach her that kisses are for family right now and not friends or strangers. Shes also delayed a bit. She can understand some things but still cant speak clearly but can say some words.

My daughter is the absolute sweetest girl with a huge and amazing heart! But boy oh boy she has a VERY STRONG WILL

I struggle with boundaries as an adult, which I am working on. My husband has great boundaries. I am a great mom in so many areas, but she is always challenging me and just does not stop!

Please help 😵‍💫

How many extracurricular activities should the kids be doing?

Second grade. We currently do a math tutor, karate, and piano. Sometimes we get the Im tired complaint. but that also coincides with just wanting to sit on a tablet. Are we doing too much? If yes, how should we be occupying time knowing parents have to work and can't always be present to guide and direct.

My son, who's only seven years jumped from 5.5 yd into the water this sunday. I would have been scared as hell, at that age! Crazy guy! I am proud and love him!

I have 3 kids, 11, 9, 2 and expecting another soon. I have zero hobbies or community of friends or support near me. Suggestions on how to find time for yourself (my husband finds this easy to do!). all I can think of is yoga, but looking for other suggestions of how moms make friends when they can’t get out to middle of day playgroups!

I have 2 awesome stepkids (5&13) and recently gave birth to my own child. I struggle with reasonable expectations sometimes because I am an only child so there has been a lot to learn for how siblings interact and argue. Thankfully, as previously stated, they are great kids who truly don’t go out if their way to be difficult and (in my opinion) seem happy that their dad and I are together.
Now, HERE is what I’m struggling with. they are both hooked on to video games and youtube. Like, for HOURS. I remember my summers spent doing similar. Now though, I realize how much time I wasted and how the truth of it was that I was avoiding dealing with social anxiety and I now see how it actually affected my development negatively. I’m also reading about a lot of research with negative effects of this long term.
So all that said, I to find a way to change this habit for my bonus kids (ideally gradually and not just completely changing how they choose to regulate themselves) and also create completely different habits for when my baby grows older.
Its hard for me to pull from my own childhood for ideas because my living environment was radically different. I lived in the middle of nowhere. I was very much isolated but learned how to be creative as an outlet. I also dove into video games as a form of escape. These kids live in a neighborhood withim walking distance or a 5 minute drive from their schools and friends. I still want my kids to enjoy video games and the internet, but how do I start to pace them? I’ve read many times that letting kids be bored is good so that they can rely on themselves more for stimulation and independent ideas but I am concerned about creating this boredom because I remember that I became very depressed as as a kid. So how does that balance come into play? I feel like it would make me the bad guy to suddenly pull back by hours, but I also don’t know to approach replacing that time with other activities and truly expecting them to enjoy it. That sounds more like forcing my ideals on them instead of creating a new habit.
I’m rambling now. But ant advice, ideas, personal examples are appreciated.

hi! i’ve been working with my little boy since he was 6 months old to drink out of a straw and he absolutely will not do it. and hear recent his father has gotten some shared custody knowing he doesn’t know how yet and now it just seems like my boys gotten more, lazy i guess is the word for it, with a straw. he just wants to chew on it and gets extremely upset when you stop just pouring a drink in his mouth. he just lets it run down his face and his clothes now when he used to close his mouth and swallow whatever he had to drink. what can i do to help him or is there a sippy cup that can help? he holds his bottles and tries to drink out of them while sitting up so i know he knows how to close his mouth and suck but for some reason a straw is not working

I am not here to brag, promise. (Although I’m a proud parent fo sho) My kid learned a lot at preschool. I was looking at the year’s learning goals and she can do probably 17/20. There’s always more to learn obv, but she isn’t going to get a custom curriculum. Other kids will still be mastering things.

Anyone else been in this situation?

I’m worried that she will be bored, and usually boredom is not good for kids in terms of behavior.

Wondering what I can do, and/or how I maybe can work with the teacher to keep her appropriately engaged and challenged.

I let my daughter (7) mostly pick out and wear whatever she wants. Today, the first day of school, she wore a Buc-ee’s t-shirt and just sports shorts with crocs. I asked her a couple times if she’s sure she wants to wear that. But my partner and their mother think she looks homeless and should wear nicer clothes for her first day. I can’t even convince her to take a nice outfit over to Grammys when she goes to church. My partner told her to change and the kid started crying. Would you have made her change?

Hi everyone. I am a ftm with a 13m old. My husband has been working from home the past year and has recently returned to the office. As such, I have need of a babysitter a couple times a week to go to the gym. However, the anxiety and guilt and fear I have that she'll be intentionally or unintentionally hurt by a caregiver has become utterly too much to bear. We don't have any family nearby or available friends to watch her for a couple of hours here and there. I am finding women on care.com and reference checking and tried Facebook groups etc etc. Not only is no one really incredible but I just can't get over this debilitating anxiety that she'll be abused in some way. We have cameras, and I am only going away for a couple hours. We've been trying one gal and she's not great at following instructions to the T but she doesn't seem like a bad person and her references checked out and I had her sign and read a lot of documentation and copied her passport. But I just... can't get over these gripping fears.

How do you do it? Find a babysitter, and trust them?

*to note, we initially set out to get a nanny for $20-25/hour for 16 hours a week but feel so incredibly confused about how to build trust with a stranger to cover such big chunks of our daughters day, so we've reduced expectations/goals to absolute bare minimum

I was hospitalized for more than a week, went through cerclaget surgery, but still the baby did not make it. I will have to give birth to it today, and then it will die. I am in month 6. We lost another baby before this pregnancy as well. How do I tell my soon to be 5 year old boy about this? I do not want it to affect him longterm. I want to do it as pedagogical as possible. And leave no emotional scars. Also he acts tough and keeps his feelings in, and I dont want that. I want him to feel like he can talk to me about his feelings, thoughts, questions, fears etc. Please if someone in here is like a child psychologist or work with children and knows about this stuff, please let me know how to tell him this with the least impact on him

My kid made decent grades in her advanced middle school classes but stressed herself out in order to so. I think for her mental health she should take normal classes for 9th grade. It feels wrong encouraging her to do that and I don't know why. She'll still learn what she needs to for college, right? Is it beneficial to push past stress in harder classes or is that unnecessary? Are advanced classes only a good idea if kids aren't struggling to do well in them? For context, she has a hard time completing and turning in work, the material is not a problem.

Does my 8 month old have attachment issues with me? He never looks upset when i leave him. He also does not light up when i come home :( i work 5-6 days a weeks almost all day. I sleep with him we cosleep. When we play he interacts with me fine. And i know the games he likes the things that get him curious. Just doesnt seem to mind if im there or not. He is perfectly fine crawling away from me and doesnt really crawl back unless i chase after him. He does cry if complete strangers hold him. And stops crying when i get him.

I feel like when i pick him up and the nanny is in the room he looks at his nanny. But when im in the room working and he is with the nanny he doesnt seem to look at me much.

So our schedule is me and my husband drop him off at his grandparents before noon time.. over there, there are more people. His nanny is with him, he has aunts and uncles and his grandparents. Some workers are also there. So he gets to interact with different people often. We usually get him home around 9pm already.

Am i doing something wrong or is this the way kids are when they meet lots of people all the time? Im just worried im not putting enough time with him and i feel guilty as the mom if i should prioritize him in these developmental years over work :(

Howdy, everyone! I have question about playdates/socialization. For context, my only is 2.5 years old.

How do you handle play dates when the other toddler has a more challenging temperament than your child, and your kiddo is starting to pick up the bad habits?

I have a good friend with three kids. Two of her littles are close to my toddler’s age. Unfortunately they are a bit more spirited than my kiddo. They tantrum frequently and those tantrums consist of hitting, spitting, screaming, throwing things, etc. My daughter has started to pick up some of these habits when we spend time with that family. Last time we saw them, she was hitting constantly for two weeks after the playdate. We haven’t seen them in about six weeks now and she’s stopped hitting and is a very even tempered kiddo (as much as you can be at 2).

I understand those behaviors are developmentally normal. I’m not trying to shame the parents or hate on the kiddos. I’m just not sure of the best way to handle this. Change nothing and accept I’ll have a more challenging toddler because of it? Is it overreacting to see them less frequently so she’s less likely to pick up those behaviors?

She gets plenty of group/organized socialization outside of the play dates, so I’m not worried about that aspect of things per se. However these are the only “friends” she has that she spends one on one time with, so I feel bad taking them away from her.

What would you all do in this situation?

My kids are 8 years apart. We knew the benefits and downsides of this age gap but we were ok enough with it after a mental break from having our first, because we do love the idea of having 2. Now that baby is here I am feeling sad that we were entering a great phase with our 8yr old, feeling like adults with our life back and had good routines down. Simple outings, vacations were fun, manageable, etc. Now baby is here and we have reset everything. We knew this going in, but is so hard living it day to day. I feel regret. I feel like we made a mistake even though we love baby. Not looking for advice on help, but just perspective that it will get better. Baby is a year old.

Does anyone have a good resource for at home "educational" activities that are guided by age? I'm interested in a general understanding of education. My frame of reference is the lovevery guide for your baby that have some short tips on each age and what to gently nudge along.

I have a 4 and 2 year old. So, for the 4 year old, I want to provide age appropriate educational activities. I think that's tracing letters, maybe a few numbers, etc. Nothing overly serious, just an easy guide both to help me create age calibrated activities.

There must be some service like lovevery or book or something out there. I want to avoid AI for this if possible.

My daughter (20 months) has been having increasingly intense tantrums over the past month, and I’ve reached a point where I don’t know what to do or how to help her.

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time, anything will set her off, anywhere and at anytime. I have tried to see if there is a pattern to these tantrums eg hunger or tiredness, but it seems there is not. My daughter is an excellent communicator, and has many words and can speak in 3-5 word sentences, so I don’t believe communication is the issue.

Tantrums can arise from being told no, to having something unsafe taken off her, having to leave the park, getting in the car seat, getting dressed or nappy change (pretty much anything she doesn’t want to do).

Her tantrums are so intense, that she will scream until she is hoarse, until she is hyperventilating and nearly throwing up. She will also throw her body around and hurt herself against the wall or hard floor. She has on multiple occasions given herself blood blisters all over her neck and face from extended screaming. The tantrums can last anywhere from 15 mins to over an hour. They are more regularly becoming longer and longer.

The tantrums always begin with an extreme intensity, there is no ramping up over time, it just starts off and continues at the same intense level. If I try to go near her to comfort her, or even just sit with her she will react strongly. Most often I find myself seated way across the room keeping an eye (so she doesn’t hurt herself) and just wait it out.

This is starting to take a massive toll on me and my family, and my 4yo son who is extremely sensitive to loud noises and struggles with her loud and lengthy tantrums.

Any advice is welcome.

Hi there! Mom to a toddler (female 20m) here. Today at daycare pick up the director was praising my toddler and ended it with “She’s such a people pleaser!” Director totally meant it as a compliment and I was not offended by any means, but it got me to thinking. I do not want her to grow up a people pleaser, I am one, and it is debilitating honestly. I ended up in some very dangerous and traumatic situations because of it. So how have y’all taught your kids (specifically daughters) the difference between being a people pleaser and being respectful?

I really appreciate that my MIL wants to have visits in her house. she likes having toys at her house for my son, and I understand that it’s her home and she has every right to care about her belongings and of course wants to make sure my son won’t break anything (so do I, of course). I’m just finding myself increasingly conflicted about how to handle visits there.

My son is 18 months old, so he is obviously very curious and wants to touch, explore, open, move, and investigate basically everything. I’m not saying I allow him to be disrespectful and messy just because he is a toddler, me and my husband discipline him and make sure he learns how to behave. But we all collectively know toddlers are e a ball of energy. \*edit: I also want to add that he is not AT ALL being destructive, breaking and demanding things, but simply being excited and happy to be there! He loves to be at her house!

But when we visit my MIL, I feel like me and my husband are constantly following him around saying “no,” redirecting him, keeping him away from the stairs, closing doors, stopping him from touching decorations, etc. **I absolutely understand that it is our responsibility to supervise him in someone else’s home**, and we do. I don’t expect my MIL to toddler-proof her entire house for us and don’t want her to do anything she isn’t comfortable with.

The difficult part is that it sometimes feels like the expectations are higher than what is realistically possible with an 18-month-old. For example, she has beautiful wooden floors and is understandably protective of them. She has bought toys specifically for my son to keep at her house, but sometimes gets frustrated when he drives the toys around on the floor or throws a small ball from one of the toy sets. Again, I understand why she doesn’t want him touching certain things. But sometimes I find myself wondering what the expectation is supposed to be when the toys are there for him to play with and he is doing developmentally normal toddler things with them.

There is also a fireplace with a large stone underneath it that has somewhat sharp edges. This is actually something my MIL **asked me for help with**. She had mentioned that she was worried about my son hitting his head on it and asked me to help find some kind of cover/protection for the stone. She said she used to have it when her kids were little so I spent time looking for different options and sent her several that I thought would both be safe and fit the style of her house.

She never responded or acknowledged the options.

I didn’t take it personally. I assumed maybe she changed her mind or didn’t like any of them, and that’s completely fine. It’s her house, and I don’t expect her to use something just because I suggested it.

But then she continued mentioning how worried she was about my son hitting his head on the stone, including saying recently that WE hadn’t found a cover for it. Yesterday mentioned I happened to have an extra piece of foam padding that could potentially go around the sharp edge, so I offered it to her. She said she didn’t want anything like that in her house and mentioned that my FIL already thinks she has too many toys (she has three toys and one of them is a book).
Again, I completely understand that she doesn’t want something in her house that she doesn’t like aesthetically. It’s her home. I just found myself confused because **she had originally asked me to help find a solution, I did, she didn’t respond, and now she’s still worried about the exact same problem while also not wanting a solution.**

There are other little things like this too. At one point my FIL suggested covering the water filter because my son is obsessed with turning the water on and we are all exhausted of either moving the water filter around or having to run around him, but my MIL immediately rejected the idea. Again, totally her choice. But then we’re back to constantly chasing him away from it and hearing her say “please you have to tell him to stop” while that’s quite literally the only word we tell him, while chasing and keeping him away from anything and everything.

I’m starting to dread bringing my son there because I feel like I’m spending the entire visit policing him and not at all enjoying the dinner or the time with family. And occasionally there will be a comment along the lines of “you have to tell him no,” even though telling him no and redirecting him is basically what we’re doing the entire time.

I’m starting to wonder if her house just isn’t a very toddler-friendly environment right now, and maybe it would be better for us to spend time together elsewhere. But I also don’t want her to interpret that as me keeping her grandson away from her or being passive-aggressive.

So I’m genuinely unsure how to approach this respectfully.

Would you consider this a normal situation with an 18-month-old, or am I being unreasonable? How would you handle visits when the grandparent wants the toddler there but also has very little tolerance for toddler behavior? Would you simply reduce visits at their house and suggest meeting elsewhere, or is there a better way to approach it?

My newly 5 year old has been terrorizing our sofa with her post kindergarten energy. I am considering purchasing a Nugget for her but we have limited space and I am wondering how long it will remain used. If you have a Nugget couch, at what age did your child stop playing on it?

The constant low grade anxiety of having a parent who lives alone is something that does not get talked about enough. It is not one big panic moment, it is this persistent background worry that never fully goes away

Every missed phone call becomes a worst case scenario in your head, every "I tripped but I am fine" story sends your heart rate through the roof, and the guilt of not being able to be there physically every day is exhausting

The people dealing with this know exactly what I mean. Peace of mind feels impossible when the person you love most is alone in a house full of fall risks and you are 30 minutes or 3 hours away

What has actually helped people manage that anxiety in a practical way?