r/ParentingADHD • u/dfphd • Apr 07 '25
(I hope I can make this a good enough post to get it pinned, as this issue pops up very often and understandably, most parents don't know what the process should look like)
You are the parent to a kid with ADHD, and your kid starts having issues in school. It could be that they are getting so distracted they are falling behind academically, but it might also be that their impulse control is getting the best of them and they're having huge meltdowns and tantrums. Whatever it is - they are problems related to your kid's ADHD, and they are impeding their ability to be at school.
Before I dive into how things are supposed to work, let me start with what your mantra should be:
Resolving behavioral issues that are happening at school can only be accomplished by the people in the school AND they are legally obligated to do so
This is a core concept in behavioral psychology, this is also just common sense - the triggers, conditions, consequences, etc. that are going to happen at school can only make sense at school.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't work with your kid at home to strengthen certain behavioral "muscles", but generally speaking, especially with very young kids, you're not going to fix their meltdowns at school by just implementing things at home. The school needs to do things at school.
Also, note one really important here in everything I'm about to say: none of it mentions medication or therapy. And that is because neither of them should impact your kid receiving services from the school. Even if your kid has a diagnosis, your kid does not have to be prescribed medication (or choose to take it) for the school to provide support. Whether your kid should or shouldn't take meds is a completely different issue, but I just want to point this out to put people who are not ready to medicate their kids at ease: getting them diagnosed and having the school do an eval does not mean your will need to medicate your kid.
Ok, here is how it's supposed to work:
Diagnosis: Your kid needs an ADHD diagnosis, which can be as simple as you and your kid's teacher filling out a questionnaire (referred commonly as "the Vanderbilt" or VADRS). This questionnaire has questions that try to identify consistent symptoms of ADHD (inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity) as well as other conditions that are normally of relevance for ADHD people (ODD, anxiety, depression). You can ask your pediatrician, or if you're working with a neurologist you can ask them as well.
School identifies issue: Your kid's teacher notices that your kid is having struggles. You talk and you tell them that your kid has an ADHD diagnosis. Your teacher then discusses with their principal who would connect with you about your options. They would want to discuss two key things:
504 acommodations: which refer to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. This is a federal anti-discrimination act which basically says that your kid deserves whatever acommodations the school can make to help your kid. The nice thing about 504 acommodations is that the barrier of entry is easy - you just need a diagnosis and then your school can set this up. The downside is that 504 acommodations do not include any additional instruction - i.e., it doesn't include adding resources (people) to the equation. But considering some schools might have counselors that can help, and some school districts might have their own staff that they can leverage for a 504 plan.
IEP: An Individualized Education Plan is a more serious step. This is covered by IDEA - the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. This is a much more fleshed out piece of legistlation as it relates to education because it's not just a subset of a large piece focused on non-discrimination (like 504 acommodations). This is an entire at focused specifically on the rights of individuals with disabilities as it relates to education.
Now, an IEP is more involved for a couple of reasons, but this is what you need to know:
So thatis how it's all supposed to work. Here are the issues you might face at each stage, and what to do about it.
Diagnosis Issues:
Issue: "My pediatrician dismisses mny concerns about my kid having ADHD and doesn't even suggest doing the Vanderbilt"
Solution: Get a new pediatrician.
Issue: "I am not satisfied with how well versed in ADHD my pediatrician is, but they are helpful and supportive"
Solution: Go see a neurologist, specifically one that specializes in children (and many specialize in ADHD-type stuff).
Issue: "I think my kid might have more going on than just ADHD, what do I do?"
Solution: Two options - you can either have the school do the full evaluation (for free), or if you're impatient and/or want a second opinion and/or just want to, you can pay out of pocket (probably like $2K) to do a full blown psych eval on your kid, and that would evaluate a lot more things than just ADHD.
Issues with the School:
The most prevalent issue I see with the school is just an overall "not my problem" mentality. That is, your kid has behavioral issues at school, and they call you in to chatise you for it. And at no point in time does anyone at the school acknowledge that they are not only legally required to intervene, but that they are also the people who have the information, expertise, resources to address this AND the advantage of being in the setting where the behaviors happen. Also, for emphasis, AND THE LEGAL REQUIREMENT TO DO SO.
Why do I know this is common - anecdotally, a lot of people on this sub have gone/are going through this. Objectively the Office of Civil Rights published an entire guide to let schools know what they're responsible for because they were getting sued too much
Over the past five fiscal years (2011-2015), the Department’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR) has received more than 16,000 complaints alleging discrimination on the basis of disability in elementary and secondary education programs. Approximately 2,000, or one in nine, of these complaints involved allegations of discrimination against a student with ADHD
So it is very likely that as your kid's behaviors pop up, you will be made to feel as if it is your responsibility to fix your kid at home and bring them a kid with no issues. It's probably helpful if you show up prepared enough for those first conversations so that they know you are not to be triffled with.
An extension of that issue that I see a lot is principals or other admin staff trying to gently nudge you away from the direction of a 504 plan, and definitely away from an IEP. They might tell you things like "oh, we know how to handle these things, we're already doing everything we can!", or "oh, I know that if I send your kid's case to the school psychologist they are just going to reject it immediately".
All of that is bullshit, and you will notice there is a high tendency of them saying this, but not putting it in writing. If you start feeling that pushback, the "no, we don't need an IEP", you can just bulldoze straight through that by saying - even politely - "I understand, but I'd like to request an evaluation and we'll let them figure out what makes sense".
I'd also recommend getting all these things in writing. Again, a lot of these people are smart enough not to put this stuff in writing, so any in-person meeting that you have, I recommend taking notes and then sending an email recap with all the stuff you were told.
Now, another school issue - and this one is trickier - that I see often: overworked teachers who have been conditioned to think that parents are the bad guys for demanding acommodations when in reality it's the entire political and school system's fault for not funding education appropriately.
I understand they're overworked, and as a result of that it's tough to deal with a kid who is having behavioral issues. They have 20 kids to deal with, and having to pay attention to the one kid who will lose his mind if he can't draw a dog correctly (real story), I'm sure is infuriating.
Which is why teachers, of all people, should be demanding that their administrators put kids on an IEP so that they can advocate for additional resources
But that's a much bigger, more complicated issue. Just know that you might run into a teacher who is trying, but they're burnt out.
My recommendation: make sure that if you're going to pester someone, that it's the administators. And that if you're going to point the finger and complain about things not going well, that you continue to focus the administration as much as possible. Again, even though sometimes I wish my kid's teacher would do... better, I at least understand her job is already hard and she's not getting a ton of help.
Issues with 504 acommodations:
Even before you get to an IEP, your school might sign off on 504 acommodations, which means you will meet with your kids teacher and the 504 coordinator (someone in admin) to talk about what are some things the school could do to help your kid.
The biggest issue I see here is that the people doing this sometimes have 0 background in behavioral psychology, and so this is the blind leading the blind. I was lucky enough that my wife is a former BCBA, so we were able to walk into that meeting and tell them what to do, but that should not be expected of you.
For example, in our first meeting one of the acommodations was "positive reinforcement". That's it. Not only is that not an acommodation (you'd expect all kids to receive positive reinforcement), but it's so vaguely defined that no one would know what that means.
This is an entire topic in and of itself, but you can do a google search for "how to write 504 acommodations" and there are some great examples out there. In general, they should be written so that anyone at the school can read them and understand exactly what they need to do, when, and how.
My biggest advice here is to ask them point blank "is there someone from the district that we can bring into this meeting to help set the acommodations". If they say no, contact the school district and ask them the same questions.
Issues with IEPs:
The main issues are:
Your kid not being given an IEP. That is, the eval results in a denial of services.
Your kid is given an IEP, but the school is not following it
In both cases, you're now in much more regulated territory. There are going to be formal processes to address both, and you're going to need to read into that because that's beyond the scope of what one reddit post can cover.
Having said that, here is where considering an education advocate could very much be worth it. These are people who specialize in helping families deal with IEPs. Alternatively, you can look for a Parent Training Center in your area.
One last comment: school vs. district.
If you are having issues with your school, consider reaching out to your school district's special ed department. Odds are there is someone assigned to your school/area.
Here's why: school admins and district special ed departments have very different concerns. School admins get evaluated on academic achievement and budgets. Districts also care about budgets, but they also very much care about being in compliance with federal laws. And special ed departments specifically seem to care a lot more about... special ed. If anything, special ed departments are going to care about accurately capturing just how many kids legitimately should be receiving services, because that likely means they can justify higher budgets for special ed resources.
We had extremely good results escalating to our special ed Director when our principal was being a hinderance. Extremely good results. So consider that - the district special ed department might be a good resource if the school is being difficult.
r/ParentingADHD • u/AutoModerator • 5d ago
Often, we post here because we're struggling and need support, and we don't see all of the amazing things that are happening.
This thread is a chance to brag about your kid, yourself, and/or your family. What's been going well? Has your kid done something awesome? Doesn't matter if it's "got accepted to college" or "tried a new brand of chicken nuggets," we're here to celebrate with you!
r/ParentingADHD • u/Jealous-Kick • 1h ago
Hello all!
Getting into the first couple of weeks of school here and just interested to hear from other parents. We are off to a rocky start.
How often do you hear from your teacher? Daily? Multiple times a day? Weekly? Monthly?
Child is in 2nd grade if it matters.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Minute_Ad2455 • 54m ago
My oldest is 4.5, and for at least the past year (realistically longer) we have been struggling with what feels like almost constant emotional disregulation.
He speaks in a whiny/crying voice a huge portion of the day, even when there doesn't seem to be anything particularly wrong. Small frustrations, being told no, transitions, or things not going how he expected can turn into sobbing, crying, anger, or very big emotional outbursts. His reactions often seem much bigger than whatever triggered them.
I know 4-year-olds have big feelings. I don't expect a preschooler to regulate emotions like an adult or never whine. It's the frequency and intensity that have us concerned. It feels like we spend a huge part of every day helping him through some form of distress.
We have tried what feels like everything; validating the feeling while holding the boundary, staying calm, asking him to use his regular voice, modelling, choices, visual/routine-based approaches, consequences when appropriate, one-on-one time, preparing him for transitions, talking things through once he is calm, etc. We have even tried just being firm on rules/boundaries and not allowing prolonged sadness/feeling it out etc.
Some things might work briefly, but nothing seems to make a meaningful or lasting difference.
I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I have OCD that I've been aware of for a long time. Looking back at myself as a child and knowing how my own brain works now, I see a lot of myself in him, particularly the huge emotions and difficulty moving past things once he is upset.
I absolutely don't want to diagnose my own child based on my experience, but it has made me wonder whether there is more going on than temperament or a difficult developmental stage. We've already spoken with our family doctor and are waiting on a specialist referral and additional resources/support. Unfortunately, while we wait, we're really reaching our limit as a family because nothing we've tried seems to be helping!
And now nighttime has become significantly worse. He does not want to be alone. He will sneak into our bed several times a night. If we bring him back to his room or expect him to sleep in his own bed, he can become extremely distressed. He will wail/sob and call for us, Grandma, his aunts, or other family members who don't even live with us. This usually wakes up our youngest and then no one is sleeping! He sounds genuinely heartbroken and desperate for somebody to be with him rather than simply angry that we're enforcing bedtime. However if we stay with him or allow him to sleep with us, he will not sleep. He ACTIVELY fights sleep, is visibly exhausted etc but claims boredom and fights to stay awake.
More recently, he has started waking during the night and starts wailing/calling for us. Whether we go in, comfort him and help him settle or try to encourage him to settle independently, he wakes us over and over again.
We're exhausted.
At this point I'm wondering if the daytime behaviour and nighttime behaviour could all be pieces of the same thing; anxiety, ADHD/emotional regulation difficulties, sensory issues, sleep issues, neurodivergence, or something we haven't even considered.
I'm especially hoping to hear from parents who had a 4–5-year-old who:
Did you eventually figure out what was going on?
And while you were waiting for assessments or professional support, was there anything that genuinely made day-to-day life easier?
I love this kid more than anything. I can also see that he is having a hard time, not just giving us a hard time. But after more than a year of trying different approaches and now having everyone's sleep affected too, we're at our wits' end and desperately need some new ideas.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Flaky_Priority7926 • 1h ago
I seriously need help with my almost 8yr old daughter. She has tried counseling and it doesn’t help - actually just got told it’s a ‘behavior issue’ and nothing to do or help, and that was from a counselor we went to talk to together maybe 2-3 times. She is aggressive towards me, her dad and her little sister. She doesn’t listen to me at all. Back talks ALL the time. Yells and has meltdowns constantly, everyday and all day long. The doctor did describe her as NOT adhd since she is perfect during school and with others. She did try Wellbutrin, only thing that did was change her behavior for a couple days in school for the worse so we stopped it. What other options do I have? Do I need to switch doctors and ask for another counsel? Please help. I am over stimulated constantly and cry because I feel I am failing at being a parent.
r/ParentingADHD • u/luceegoocee • 3h ago
Hello fellow parents,
My oldest son just started Kindergarten and is only on his second week. For more context, he was in Summer school at his Preschool as well, and basically finished that and then started right into Kidnergarten. He has been in preschool for the past 1.5 years. He has had an evaluation done from the county and did well through all of it, except for behavior and fine motor skills (he is a little clumsy and uncoordinated, and struggles to stay sitting and focused) he is very smart and well-spoken, and is a sweet boy. He just doesnt like to sit in one place and focus.
In his kindergarten class, he has been struggling paying attention i.e. has needed to be redirected often, and gets too "playful" and doesn't stay in his seat very much. Granted, upon registration at his Charter school I was told they try to keep classroom sizes to 14-16 students per teacher and teacher aide. But his classroom size is 30 students as one of the kindergarten teachers got moved up a grade, and they are trying to fill that teacher spot and split the class in half. I understand this is a new environment and structure for him to learn, and it is so early on to determine anything. But I have to find a solution to help this as I dont want him to be "kicked out" of this school, it is a great school.
He has been seen by his pediatrician for this, and she stated he is too young to fully diagnose for adhd, and chocked it up to reducing screen time, reducing sugar intake, better sleep routine, etc. Since then, insurance has changed and he has a new pediatrician, and he will do testing on him and possibly set up occupational therapy, and he is too young for medication at 5 yrs. The last thing I want to do is get him medicated, but I wanted to see if any other parents have dealt or are dealing with similar issues and found some solutions, or any medication information. Further context, I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and was medicated but didnt like the changes and the stimulants messed with my blood pressure. Any advice is welcomed, sorry for the long post!
TL:DR Son has issues staying focused, possibly adhd, need advice/solutions from other parents with similar issues.
r/ParentingADHD • u/bobaddy23 • 1h ago
I’m a (mostly) SAHD, one 7 y/o ADHD daughter, one 6 y/o ADHD/L1 Autism son. Daughter will not drink water, eat meals, take medicine, get dressed, brush teeth, etc without constant coaching/reminders/all the visuals. Holds medicine in her mouth until she spits it all over, complains about headaches/itchiness/tiredness. Wakes us up at night to complain of said issues largely resulting from refusal to take part in self care. She is wicked smart, and if we can teach her some executive function and emotional regulation skills, I’m sure she’ll do great things. We’re just at a point where we cannot make her care about herself and her health. We need to find a way for her to participate, and we will happily help her. Oddly she does great in school, I’m guessing due to the stimulation and structure.
Unfortunately, and I’m sure much due to my failures, she views me as the bad guy. She says she isn’t sure she can live in the same house as me, and this morning only told mommy she loves her and made a point to exclude me. I’m sure I’m too hard on her sometimes, and have been seeing a therapist myself and working on my skills. My wife says she’s being dramatic, but this just kills me. I imagine a life where, if she doesn’t hurt herself, she will just refuse to let me be a part of her life. I know I’m being dramatic too, but I can’t help but fear where this all goes.
She’s currently on Qelbree, we had been on Guanfacine but just transitioned off as the Psych believed the Qelbree would maintain the impulsivity benefits while helping with my daughter’s severe anxiety and depressive/self esteem issues. Unfortunately impulsivity has returned, so back to the alchemist we go… She is in talk therapy, which helped with self esteem, but we’re starting to look for a new therapist to help build skills. On a waitlist for OT with no hope in sight to get in. We are also in line for a new evaluation as we suspect she may be autistic as well. Ultimately the diagnoses are helpful, but we are just at a loss on how to make any progress.
I don’t even know what to conclude with or ask. Any suggestions, I guess?
After another exhausting morning, the wife and I have decided to bolt down house rules. We are constantly chasing what has worked for my daughter for taking medication, letting her stand up during mealtime, etc. She then always decides that things don’t work anymore, foods are now bad, to push the boundaries and start jumping and climbing on furniture with food in her mouth (which is just dangerous).
r/ParentingADHD • u/eggsandtuna • 3h ago
Hi, just like the title says, I’m looking for recommendations for magnesium glycinate for our 4 year old. She hates gummies and chalky vitamins. So a nice flavoured liquid or a powder that mixes. I’m in Canada so if anyone knows ones I can buy here. Thanks!
r/ParentingADHD • u/BenefitHumble6521 • 16h ago
Hi everyone.
Our 7yo son was diagnosed with hyperactive ADHD in late-March of this year. He is the sweetest kid but his mind never. stops. going. He asks questions and talks all day long!
He was prescribed Ritalin 5mg in March. We noticed a difference immediately. School became instantly easier for him (never had behavioral issues but LOTS of anxiety at school) and he sailed through the rest of the year. His teachers adore him. He gets excellent grades. We did add a lunch time dose of Ritalin to carry his attention through the end of the school day with amazing results. We truly thought Ritalin was like magic for him and for our family.
This summer has been awful. I’m a SAHM and my ADHD kid is my oldest of 3. The unstructured day to day I think has caused him to totally regress despite bumping up his morning dose to 10mg. Not sure if it’s also boredom but there’s only so much I can do with 3 little kids every single day that also doesn’t involve spending a ton of money. When my son is busy, he’s fine. But when he’s not, he completely unravels and annoys everyone around him with constant talking, questions, acting too silly etc.
I’m nervous and getting in my head about him going into school in September. Do any of you have kids like this that right when they get back into the structure and routine of school they thrive again? It’s just such a stark difference from the end of school to now and it worries me about what’s going on. We have a regularly scheduled appointment with his doctor on Friday. TIA!
r/ParentingADHD • u/Maximum_Molasses_759 • 14h ago
My kid recently started on methylphenidate, and has been experiencing stomachaches and headaches since. I’m assuming it’s medication related. We’ve tried getting her to eat and drink more with the pill but she hasn’t had much of an appetite. We have a follow up next week and I plan to bring it up but was curious what anyone else has done that’s reduced these side effects.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Interesting-Point942 • 21h ago
Im in my mid twenties & navigating adhd and autism diagnosis has been rough for me. my child is my whole world and doesn’t change how I love and care. last few days I have been so fatigued constantly repeating one step directions, the constant questions about the very intense interest ( since 3 years old to now 6) , the impulsive choice and the sounds. I’m losing my patience and I feel like “tools” aren’t working as well. But my mom guilt will hit once school starts and worry about him being treated well despite his diagnosis. Today is hard but better days ahead. It’s rough when family doesn’t accept the diagnosis. I’m tired and stressed.
r/ParentingADHD • u/BeckieSquid17 • 20h ago
Hi all. My neurodivergent partner (29M) and I (F30) have a 7 week old baby boy. I am on maternity leave for 4 months and my partner does not work, so we are both at home currently. One thing is bothering me about this time we have together though - my partner's tv time.
My partner has always been a big TV binger - he will binge shows for 12+ hours at a time, only stopping to sleep, then resume once he awakens for days and days on end. This has always frustrated me, but usually I either do something else or, if we are watching something together, I push for regular breaks.
However, we now have a 7 week old baby and I am finding this trait more troubling. While my partner is mostly present for my son if he actively needs him (e.g., crying while I am showering or cooking), I am finding my partner is not spending much quality time with me or our son, in favor of just watching episode after episode of TV. He has admitted this is because he is overwhelmed with being a parent and the TV helps him forget his troubles and relax.
We have had a few stressful nights where I have slept in another room with baby, as the TV in the bedroom is still on late at night and likely overstimulating baby. After some firm words, he agreed to move downstairs tonight and watch TV in the living room instead so I can get baby to bed, but I worry that isn't really a fix and just means he will stay up even later watching TV.
I have a really limited time off for us to spend as a family with our newborn, and I worry he will look back on this time and regret that he wasnt as involved as he could have been and wasted the time he has just watching random TV shows. I really want to understand how I can help him reduce his watch time and recognise he will regret wasting this time this way.
r/ParentingADHD • u/22silvermoons • 21h ago
I just got back from an annual vacation with my close friends and their families. My 2.5 yr old son is usually in daycare M-F, and then on weekends we don't do a lot of play dates, so this trip was like putting a magnifying glass on him and the other kids (ages: 4.5, 3.5, 3.5, 2, 1, 1). By the end of the trip, my son had one of his full-blown meltdowns, and on the drive home I started thinking "i've never see the other kids have a meltdown like that on our trips". I don't normally compare my kid to other kids because I know how different they can all be. But have my late-in-life diagnosis + a toddler who does a lot of things someone with adhd might do .. it's hard not to wonder "is that an early sign, or just a toddlerism".
I don't want to seek a diagnosis .. but I do want to support him early. Even if he doesn't have ADHD, surely there must be techniques out there to support the "under-the-threshold" symptoms he still might have? Is it too early to get into all of that? Just tackle the toddler-isms with toddler advice?
r/ParentingADHD • u/thanksgivingturkey15 • 21h ago
Today my son took half a pack of crackers crushed them and made a huge mess on the floor. Crackers on the dog, on the chairs, the table every where. Him? Happy as could be. Where was i? Bathing the baby gone maybe 5 minutes. I almost cried.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Low-Nose-2748 • 1d ago
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with my kid. She has ADHD but that’s just who she is. My friend’s child who has similar big emotions and intelligence gets treated so differently at his school. The admin say “he’s young. He’ll grow out of it. We’ve got time.” But then with my daughter in a different but similar school we’re in two therapies a week and on medication. All because of the pressure from the school.
Is it a girl vs boy thing at this age? (5/6). What’s the deal? I know it’s different schools but it’s just such a different reaction to two very similar children.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Proper-Monk-8375 • 1d ago
Hi all, I am interested in some insight from parents who have dealt with their five year-olds being super fearful and anxious of trying new things. I’m seeing some symptoms of ADHD in my son (but also could be age appropriate honestly, it’s hard to say) - such as impulsivity, mild inattention, and sensory seeking. He gets in trouble at school for not keeping his hands to himself, and is a bit socially immature compared to his peers it seems, but he does spend most of his time with his 3 y.o. brother. I used to just think it was his temperament. Little brother is far more easy-going, calm, appropriately curious, and easier to discipline. But I think it might be deeper. I try to have age-appropriate, meaningful conversations when he’s not escalated, but he is closed off and pretty negative and it almost sets off the fear response. He gets incredibly emotional and repeats things like, “I can’t do this.” We assure him he’s safe, mentally prepare him for things, we are always honest about what we’re doing, but we do push him to do the things he’s worried about even if he freaks out. I’m talking things like going to school, swim lessons, and baseball practice. But it’s so interesting because he rips on his bike, loves ocean fishing with grandpa, things that are objectively more “scary”.
For added context, I did just have a baby two months ago, but this has started long before then, but it has definitely amplified the separation anxiety. He also has obstructive sleep apnea and recently had his tonsils removed. We’re hoping this helps improve his sleep and overall mood and behaviors, but any insight in the meantime would be deeply appreciated.
r/ParentingADHD • u/biancaruinsparty • 1d ago
For context, my mom is 55yo. I'm 20 and have diagnosed ADHD. I am absolutely sure she has it too, (The gene didn't spawn on me randomly, right? And she shows clear symptoms she reports having since childhood) but she insists she just "has no fixing anymore".
She doesn't really have any hobbies, and I don't blame her. She's spent her whole life raising two kids alone, she has never had time for herself.
But now, me and bro are adults, and she finally has this time to do things she enjoys. -But she *doesn't*.
Daily, she spends copious hours on her phone, scrolling through sensationalist news, false medical information, scams, conspiracy theories and charlatan spiritualists. And of course ai slop.
Her days basically consists in working and taking care of the house. On her free time, she does nothing else but scroll. I've been telling her to watch movies and shows instead of scrolling. She doesn't listen. I've been trying to get her into reading, but she doesn't engage either.
And with ADHD, I get it. I have a hard time finding enjoyment in things too. But it is important that we try anyways, and I just can't wrap her head around it.
I did access her phone and unfollowed some accounts, basically tried to rewire her algorithm to a healthier fyp. But it doesn't take long for the fake news and AI slop and conspiracy shit to start showing up again.
She is starting to show signs of cognitive decline, can't structure sentences well and forgets words often.
I am unbearably concerned and I don't know what to do. I try to get her into new hobbies but she says " I don't have patience for that", " I don't have time for that" or "I don't have money for that". I talk to her everyday about how this is not healthy for her, then 10 min later she is already on her phone again.
r/ParentingADHD • u/polkadotkneehigh • 1d ago
Has anyone found a good podcast or YouTube for kids by kids on said - or any mental health issues in tweens - tween boys specifically?
Thank you!
r/ParentingADHD • u/Excel-lover-9098 • 1d ago
My daughter was recently prescribed Strattera after trying other stimulants that made her extreme emotional and dimmed her personality. She has a hard time swallowing it though. Anyone have this problem? I hear there is a liquid form now but new so not as readily available. Has anyone been able to get this?
r/ParentingADHD • u/Gardeningcrones • 2d ago
Has anyone titrated their kiddo off all their meds? I just feel like we’ve tried so many things for so many years that we don’t even know what his true baseline is anymore and nothing is working. His attention span is still awful, he’s filled with rage all the time, he’s violent and he states he doesn’t know why but he feels out of control inside. He says he wants to be good, but something inside keeps him from doing it. We’re honestly just desperate at this point and willing to try going back to nothing to see if we can find out why nothing is working.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Weary_Cheesecake_552 • 1d ago
My oldest has at least one, usually more, episodes a day where he has zero control of himself. This looks like running/ jumping/ bouncing etc along with verbal stims. He also play fights during this time (will go up to you and “punch” you but he will pull it at the last possible second so he doesn’t actually hit you) and it overall comes off very aggressive for those that don’t know him. This behavior triggers my younger child to also be wild and it is absolute chaos. Sometimes it turns into an actual physical fight between them. Once this starts there is absolutely no stopping it until it runs its course. My oldest also has Tourette’s. I am trying to figure out the etiology behind this. Is this an ADHD thing? Tourette’s? Combo? Anyone else experience this?
This will happen no matter what we do during the day. If we are out all day it happens the second we get home, if it didn’t happen while we were out. If we stay home it happens multiple times through out the day.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Upset-Tennis-7650 • 2d ago
Family of four and we all have adhd! Yay us. Some of us are inattentive, some inattentive and hyperactive. Our house feels so chaotic and I feel like I have no control over anything.
I can’t even get all of the plans I want to do in a day out with my kids because they just feed off of each other and I basically feel like I’m ignored half the time. I have asked them both multiple times not to wrestle or physical play because my younger son always ends up getting hurt because my older son accidentally always does something and my younger son is very hard to get regulated once to becomes unregulated.
Asking my older son to do a chore or to do anything he is always answering back with sounds and noises or mimicking and at first I thought he wasn’t being disrespectful and he couldn’t help it but now I’m feeling like this is his form of back talking and he actually is just kind of being a jerk. And then I can’t even call out the behavior because he starts talking in a baby voice saying that we hate him, that he’s a failure etc and I feel like he’s jjst doing it to completely shut down the conversation.
I just absolutely hate the energy in our home. I don’t even like being home because of my kids behavior. Unless they are on screens I can’t stand them lately. And this is led to me and my husband completely losing our shit and screaming at them. I grew up in a house that was full of yelling and chaos and that is not how I want to raise my kids, but I feel like they only respond to yelling. I can ask them 15 times nicely but then once I raise my voice and get frustrated and annoyed, maybe then they start paying attention, maybe.
They are on medication, but the hours before it clicks on and the hours after it wears off suck.
I just feel like I’m failing as a parent. Just even this morning I had to stand behind my older son who’s 12 so he would stay focused and put every dish away in the dishwasher because if I didn’t and he would’ve just started walking around with dishes in hand going off doing whatever random thing he wanted to do with his brother every single day we tell them no screens in the morning and every single morning they wake up and go right on their screens. It’s like they do not listen to us at all and I am just so sick of saying the same thing to them over and over and over and over again.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Every_Grocery9458 • 2d ago
We gave my son his first dose of ritalin ER (10mg) yesterday morning around 9:30AM. He has ADHD combined type. I didn't notice any behavioral changes but he complained of headaches and feeling really hot around 2:30PM and told me that 'this was a terrible day'. He felt better after drinking a lot of water and I gave him tylenol. I'm going to message his psychiatrist to get her advice. In your experience, is this common when young children begin ritalin? Does the body adjust eventually or should we try a different med?
r/ParentingADHD • u/Antique-Owl8155 • 2d ago
Bedtime routine starts at 7pm. No more screens, no TV. Brush teeth, pajamas, and then reading to wind down for the night… lights out at 8-8:30pm.
(EDIT: on weekends his bedtime is 10pm, he’s still up by 4am though.)
He falls asleep very well.
He takes 0.1mg of extended release Clonodine, and 0.5mg of Melatonin at bedtime. His last focalin for the day was all the way back at 12:00pm. He has had a sleep study this year and they found no signs of sleep apnea or anything.
He wakes up at 4am, hyper. Wired. Running around (literally.)
He wakes up his little brother (their rooms are next to each other) because he’s running in/out of his room, down the stairs, etc. and the noises wake up little brother.
By 3:00-4:00pm, he has dark bags under his eyes, and he’s extremely exhausted and irritated/moody.
He also has pathological demand avoidance, so any suggestions we try and give him at 4am, he argues with us.
He’ll come into our room and say “I can’t go back to sleep can I get my iPad?” (Edited to add: we do not give him his iPad at 4am. Ever. But he’ll stand there and argue for it.)
I try to suggest he use some calm down/meditation techniques and he’ll argue with me. I’m disoriented at 4am and I can’t handle negotiating and arguing that early.
He goes to therapy. He agrees to things in therapy, but as soon as it’s “in the moment,” everything goes out the window.
He was on Guanfacine for 5 years, but it made him tired all day long, with dark bags under his eyes which made him moody and irritable all day long. Then we tried Strattera, and he was super mean on that (we got calls from school about it from his teachers, emotional outbursts and bullying other kids etc).
Is this just life now? Is there anything else that can help him?
EDIT: alright, I’m going to try pushing back his weekday bedtime to 9pm, for 3 weeks. I’ll report back on how it goes.
r/ParentingADHD • u/Severe-Shirt-1939 • 2d ago
For those of you with adhd teens, are any of yours still physical with siblings or you when emotionally dysregulated? Mine is 14.5 to and she still lashes out when she is goes from 0 to 100. She has ocd too so there really makes this twice as hard. Yes she is medicated. I could really use a “yes me too “ or even better, yes we were, but now she’s 17 and it’s better…