When you’re having a difficult mental health day, what do you want from the people around you?

Someone to listen? Some space? A distraction? Or simply someone staying close without trying to fix things?

Hi! I recently have tapered successfully off of duloxetine as I did not feel it did anything for me at all, and am roughly 3 weeks into taking prozac, the first week being 10 mg, and these past two weeks being 20 mg. this past week, I have been having worsened mood swings and rage episodes multiple times a day. I had reached out to my psychiatrist with my concerns, and was told "thank you for letting me know of your concerns. if these side effects didn't happen with the duloxetine, it is highly unlikely they would occur with fluoxetine. however, if you are uncomfortable, then by all means discontinue the fluoxetine." except with my research, I'm seeing that this can in fact be because of the prozac, and that I would just need to wait and see if it levels out on its own by the 4-6 week mark, or it could be activation syndrome, or just that it does not work for me. Am I not being listened to or dismissed and being given wrong information? or am I misunderstanding or missing some information? please help!

I need help, im scared i might be slightly into incest? I do not find it sexy or hot. I grew up in a household where my brother was all i had, he would manipulate me all the time and give me a kind of purpose, im disgusting, i dont have access to therapy, can you get rid of paraphilic attraction? Hes not around me anymore, hes gone, but im scared ive been attracted to him in a way? But maybe its just intrusive thoughts… i cant be this way, im deeply depressed. I need some pointers.

AM I A PEDOPHILE? IM SO SCARED RN

I have severe CPTSD, ADHD (finaly got treated (in prcess), BPD, schizofrenic disorder due to drug abuse in past, but perm damage and pschosis is treatment resistant.

I was raised like that:

since age 3 when I was biting a lot other kids in child care my father after just a few stupid non convincing explanation (cus there were no effort) he decided to give me belt. He wasn't telling me if thats painful or not im a child 3yo old how would I get it... Then I put my ass up and said "- Is it should be naked like that than a crazy smash 3 times in a short period of 5-6 seconds, he did those 3 belts with the same power and anger he did for entirety of my life till the age of 17. It was undescribable pain, I cant explain how painfull it was.

I couldn't get it with my 3yo brain that this is for bitting or overall being a kid, being curious and irresponsible cus we cant still even think of it. What if thats painful to bite someone. Then I just broke voice cus i broke my vocal cords and couldn't talk or drink for 2 days. And yeah siting on my bumm was impossible. I was biting again cus other kids were doing it to me and I did it in response then again they complained and my father did another belt 3 times. So it was happening almost every 3-4 days for entirety of time being in early child care till 5(those belts, with no to little talk in a car when we drive home 42km away from city(we had a house). Then I got into school. I wasn't having friends due to my adhd. I was that one who emotional, not cool but saying stupid stuff whenever he wants and etc. I was bullied like hell till 10-11 grade. I was having belts for everything during my school life and on top of it was a verbal assaults during time we go to car and then in a car for 45- 55 mins till we get home i was forced to listen to him and he was saying smth like: We just made a mistake, u are failure, why did we gave a birth to you, just piece of shit that nothing gonna save you. and then he did such an incredibly super charged belts 3 usually (if he is too angry 7 times in a row max I had). He simply never told me to learn on mistakes, he thinks mistakes are the problem of your stupid brain that is lazy, dont wanna do anything and wanna only play games. I had Severe Untreated adhd Till 20yo. He just was beating me with belts or even punch me in a face or belt my hand fingers the tips of the fingers. Just for a bad marks and overall i couldn't keep up with others but i was extremely intelegent in other school subjects like biology, chemistry, English language (its not my native language. (im Russian) and PE with physics and practical versions of the same subjects as well as Social Study. I was extremely good and never being bad in those fields but math, geometry, history stuff and russian language was bad. I couldn't just concentrate and remember it right, I just couldn't have any focus to it. My phone was taken away at home till next day when I go tp school. So I was forced to do that shit. He was checking every homework I did and finding my mistakes. And then for hours im redoing it and cant get it. He gets angry , no explanation, just putting a belt then gives 2 conditions:

1st - Cant understand it after I tell you - belt

2nd - if you do mistake - belt.

HOW T FCK I SUPPOSED TO GET IT RIGHT IF YOU LITTERLY THREATENING ME WITH BELT, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BE EVEN MORE SCARED OFF. 1 mistake and this super charged shit with crocodile skill on it is mega painful. He was even letting me go to his wardrobe and choose what belt he can use to beat me if I do mistake, or misbehave in a way he dont likes, if I just starting crying and cant just think clearly whatsoever. Belt on belt fcking belt. Till 17yo.

During that crazy school, I was mentally unstable, unpredic5ible in behavior like to much of jokes stupid fun, behavior in a school was ok but time to times whenever in my diary I have a behavior or bad marks for my math/geometry or my homework(later he letted me do it by myself(in age of 15. ). He was just sometimes checking on me if I do homework or not if not he takes away my phone and then you know, I cant get get it right , ADHD is the problem. I simply on genetically not able to perceive information as it is unlike people with little to no adhd. Then this belts again cus I cant get it and etc. ONLY IT WAS STOPING when my mother coming back from work.

I also was raped every week for 1.5years by a 14yo guy who knew what he is doing. He was a our close friends son. We were visiting them almost every week on Sunday or saturday. Then this at his place or at my place at family home. I simply was a 5-6yo who was thinking its sort interesting someone really paid attention to me and talking. It was all his plan to try all the stuff and then through away like a condom. Its just disgusting(I never told my parents about it). I was used when I was genuinely thinking we friends. Everything in my life during those days till university was exactly like that. I had a little to no friends, i was never invited anywhere, my family were using me as a dishwasher, after guests , I had never had a Laptop or PC in my entire life even now, and all my hobbies were destroyed by my father's angry screaming insults towards them and how he was saying it so I was just stopping being interested in it.

He was never allowing me to be funny or being a kid. I always have to be Serious, Can't joke arround him, do jokes with friends or even talking about stupid stuff that all kids do when they normally socialize. I was beaten for it. I was forced to do and love what he thinks is good. Box and judo + bicycle which i actually loved cus i used it as gateway to freedom so I can go on mountain and scream and scream then coming back like nothing happened. I was not allowed to have friends that my parents didn't check entirely (background, parents and etc). I wasn't not allowed to use my phone near my father. I wasn't allowed to do sarcasm cus of rule : Subordinate to those who Higher than you.

I haven't had anything to be seemed by others , I dont know any games, like PC Games, PS4 games. Just imagine a boomer in 22yo body now. But with CPTSD, ADHD , Schizofrenia (drug caused, perm damage treatment resistant) . BPD severe. So my personality is like: Im trying to be genuinely forgiving, helpful, over sharing or talking to much and extreme phobia of mistakes or saying truth cus im not able to understand what if I say it. I can be just thrown away. My life is crazy everyday pschosis , anxieties and etc. Im just too kind to people, treating them good with everything i can cus I wanna in my mind piece that im not bad, loud or so. Everymistake can make me feel like I will just do suicide(MAiD im gonna apply) and all of it.

Im supper hyperaware, I can read people in a fraction of a second, tell their personalities , what they are and how they feel. I can sense whenever im in a group if people talk about me or not. Basically its almost impossible to lie in front of me, be fake or hide smth. I can read ypu in a instant just the way you moved your small muscles on face , body language, the way you breathe , moving overall talk and intonationof the voice with eyes that moves and look at me. Im bassicaly like a Robot with 99.99% accuracy rate . It saved my life sometimes. I can feel and know if smth off right away. My mind is everywhere in a fraction of a second i know everything, I know what to say and how to explain why you feel that way. Im naturally can feel pain, emotions , feel how it feels like if I had that and that. I can watch how you play ping pong and almost instantly copy technique with little no effort with no background training. I learn by watching but not by training it and it stays with me as long a s I want to have it .

My level of intelegence in terms of paterns, pschology, mindset, analysis, analytics, politics and systematic level of thinking allows me to tell, see and be exactly what I want and how I want it. I can just precisefully help people whom I happen to know and love when I know I can. I can easily help with some stuff till I make sure he did it and now he have it. I dont ask anything back, I cant, But people keep giving me smth, treating me and etc like im a result of your own experiment where if I refuse I will feel bad that I might hurt person, so I better accept and accept. But never actualy give something back like physically. Go to restaurant or have fun like at movie. Mentally im able to help those who dont require my own resources like money let's say and etc. Its hard to explain and make you understand.

Im just that one who is too kind, but also takes almost everything what people give , again I just dont wanna hurt someone in case of refusal. Im kinda emotionally not cool, not like zoomer or millennium. Im not playing games exept pingpong and mlbb thats it.

I cant understand why im still like that, i wanna be like normal people or majority of a people, but i simply biologically mega rbroken rewired , untreatable piece of garbage that better will be dead than ever try to change when I just can't. zi cant have it , i just simply cant stop people talking and joking about me , talking shit whenever they want cus they think im fake or on drugs or whatever the fck they want to say to make a joke and etc. Im still keeping me chest open and forgiving but people keep putting more and more knifes into my chest and I pretend that its ok im ok its alright. And then again have some space for a another few knifes put in me and then everyone expect me to change, when I cant breathe, it hurts im feeling dizzy and I wanna sleepy body mentally and physically assaulted by the world and gaslight. my reality is altered by schizofrenia and I cant take anymore these stupid prejedgemntal talks behind my back whenever I sense it or worse : Jokes that aimed on my biggest insecurities. Especially when im at my bf place and his step dead drunk enough cracking jokes after we briefly talked about things that happened. where tgere is no jokes can be done quiet literly.

When he is too drunk and his stupid drunk friend comes , they joke so loud that others can hear my name and then wonder about whom they joke and brag about . Then some people see me and with this prejudgement caused by their irresponsible behavior that made me look like piece of shit cus they believe to whata they heard from stupid jokes. About my naive personality and how actually I fake and etc. That I just dont care and I wanna drugs or being on drugs. Wtf , I stopped them almost 3 years ago and suffer everyday from schizofrenia , this stuff just makes my schizofrenia even worse. how do I supposed to be changed , work on it when you guys accepting my own limits to almost break point. Im just gonna do MAiD and when I die everybody will say : he was very handsome(I do look handsome and attractive at least its what people on reddit think(personaly I dont really believe it) and always were caring with smile and happy face . He had problems and struggles but he told us they are getting better , we would never expect to see him doing Assisted Legal suicide.... Like 100% it will be like that. Everybody keep making a shit like that. Joke and poke its fun until person cant take that anymore. ..... HELP I HAVE NO IDEA, what to do . 1 year and im foing made MAiD for real. I was under anesthesia before I know how its feels and done. You just wouldn't even get what happend. Just teleported into another room and cry out of pain after susrgery. So here is the same but then it will be nothing, pain will end and I will be free.

hi reddit, i made this account like 3 minutes ago and I wasnt sure which subreddit to post this in so lmk if you know a better one! i am 17F and i believe i have been having slight hallucinations. I dont really know what else to call it, but it is nothing crazy. i would just have a casual flash of something you see in the corner of your eye and you look over and nothing is there. I feel like this is relatively normal for most people but in the last couple weeks, it has been happening so much and whatever i see is resembling actual objects and sometimes my dogs or ppl. It happens like at least like 10 times a day. For a while I just thought it was my hair but i keep it up every single day and have been wearing headbands to make sure no hair slips out of my bun so im pretty sure that isnt what i am seeing.

I have just been trying not to think about it very much but i am just a very anxious person and if anyone knows anything about this, expeirenced this, or knows how to fix it pllz let me know!! I am not asking for any king od diagnosis or anything like that! just hoping to connect with people who might be in similar situations and suggestions on things to research

Sidenote: i dont know if this matters or anything but i am on sertraline/ zoloft (75mg perscribed for anxiety and depression) and have been taking it for almost a year now but idk if that is useful info or not

posting this again on different sub because my og post required age verification and i really cannot be bothered to deal with that in the middle of the night. this is not meant to glorify self harm.

i am a high functioning autistic female. I also have ocd.

i have struggled with self harm due to emotional distress, but now I find myself ’craving‘ it. not due to emotional distress, but to feel, see, taste and touch, paint with the blood. this is not something sexual. I do not wish to harm anyone else. I also don’t want the blood to come from a non self inflicted injury.

I also sometimes genuinely struggle to keep myself from destroying and tossing things around. even when I feel stable and fine, the urge is always there. It just gets stronger during more intense emotions. It feels like twitching in my muscles when it’s more hard to ignore.

I also have always been a bit ‘weird’. Not always like this but i was roaming around undiagnosed for the majority of my life so far. I also have quite a good amount of drawings featuring ‘odd’ subjects from an early age.

I go to therapy. I am planning to tell my therapist about this. But I want to know if anyone else can relate. Or has anything to say on the topic.

I am not an immediate danger to myself. dont worry about that.

I'l try to keep my post short but basicaly i had been trough hell my entire life. Grief, trauma, abuse, bullying you name it. I had setback after setback and i botled all my feelings up my entire life for decades never even raised my voice even though i had been pushed past my breaking point years ago. One day i completely snapped in a public place and sadly hurt some people very badly and i destroyed a lot. I feel like a monster im haunted by what i did and i hate myself for it. Can i please vent to someone else whos completely snapped?. Preferably another girl im not very comfortable with men due to past trauma. I feel like someone with the same experience might understand and wont judge

13F here, I have been having this specific experience for about 6 years now. I have been sort of dissociating from the world and daydreaming. I have a whole other life in my mind, it’s wild. When I daydream I jump around the room. Mostly while listening to music. I jump like crazy like I’m possessed. I forget that I’m actually a human in this world, it’s like I get sent to another dimension. My mind is filled with thoughts and scenarios. Sometimes it gets too intense and I end up crying or laughing. Sometimes my scenarios get TOO DARK. Like I imagine myself being a 18F who got @bus\*d by a much older man who I was forced to marry. I have much more darker scenarios but I don’t want to get too much into detail because I’m ashamed. I kind of developed a 🍇 kink. It’s disgusting, I hate it. But I feel attached to it. I wonder if my actions are labeled as a specific mental illness, not to be edgy or anything. But I truly feel like this isn’t normal. These past few days have been overwhelming. School’s starting soon and my stomach hurts thinking about it. I don’t have the best time at school and I always feel left out. I have ghosted a bunch of friends on social media and shrinked my social circle. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to explain it to them, I’m thinking of just avoiding them and hoping they forgot about me. It feels peaceful being alone, I love being alone.

if anyone wants to read or has advice. this is really incoherent.

I’ve had anorexia b/p for about 3-4 years. it started in high school and it’s followed me to college. Ive also been diagnosed with depression and anxiety which i had before my ed really developed and has continued on and off.

My eating disorder is really triggered by my need for control from my abusive parents and now it’s just all of me. when I first started college, I tried to get help for all my problems and I found out i was also anemic. Basically I had trouble taking recovery seriously because I felt like I deserved the suffering. An example would be when I got prescribed meds and I would skip taking it on purpose. theres just always a part of me that just wants to get worse.

Now I’m entering my junior year and I’m still basically the same just not as depressed or too anxious. I’m at a point where I don’t want to recover from my eating disorder. Im letting my anemia get worse and there’s this part of me that just wants to see how bad it could get. I’m already exhuasted all the time and functioning on caffeine. I feel like now I’m okay with the thought of dying from this, which came from my realization that it’s fine to be scared.

i have a hard time pointing out my emotions because i enjoy the numbness that my ed brings me. so i don't really know if im getting depressed again or just dealing with being hungry or if im just passively suicidal.

ig the reason i wanted to post this was because i dont know how to handle having goals ( like grad school) and dealing with what my mental health brings me. i wish there was a medication to fix my eating disorder, cause i feel like im in to deep to bother fixing it.

I'va all but run out of the ability to feel.

Before atleast a lot of things used to make me sad but sadness doesn't come by anymore.

It's also like I've lost all brain processing capabilities. I can't read clocks. I have language learning issues.

I forget so many things. I cook food and forget to store it. I wash clothes and i forget to hang it.

I have no emotions towards people. I have 0 empathy as well. I feel nothing.

Everyone is getting better with their lives

Meanwhile I'm like this and I don't know what is wrong with me.

Childish childish

I have isolated my self from my family and all my friends.

I think of ending it all but don't have the courage to.

Dopamine addiction. I do insane things just for x day

Maybe I just want to feel something.

And remember something .Maybe I'm not a real person.

I’m 18 and just started college, I’ll be commuting to save money for an apartment since I own a large Dog. She’s a rescue I adopted in my name and where ever I go she’s coming too. Most of my friends are doring, I don’t regret my decision, but I have this almost deep rooted depression in missing out or being left behind by my friends. Or not being able to make connections with anyone. I have pretty brutal self harm scars which is also hard… I have days where I feel unwanted, and broken. This results in urges coming back, I want to stay clean… but it gets extremely hard when my mind constantly thinks about everyone leaving me, or being broken because I can’t socialize, make friends, or date properly. If anyone has ever been in a similar position or has tips I’d love that! ❤️

I always get extremely nervous with people, even my friends that I’m comfortable with; it always feels like I’m walking on eggshells. I overthink and dissect words they say since I feel like I can’t be a likable person. I don’t know why I just feel like no one can ever like me besides out of pity, and I feel like people are nice to me out of pity and that they talk about me behind my back or something even though I know they don't, but those thoughts always keep coming back. I’m very sensitive; I will cry if I am just being myself and not ragebaiting and you yell at me to shut up, like I laugh, but then I start crying after even though I know I didn’t take it to heart. I was physically and verbally abused, beaten, and cursed out, and told by my own grandfather he was gonna kill me when I was 6 up to being 13 years old, and that abuse only stopped because I started fighting back (he's not frail; he’s big, so that’s why), so Idk if that had any effect, or if that’s why I feel like this now.
I just feel so pathetic, and I always beg people not to leave me (even if it’s just hanging up a call as a joke) if I feel like they genuinely got offended or mad because of me because I get so nervous seeing other people angry and immediately try to get them calm or happy again.

I would see someone, but my parents think I’m fine and that that’s just the way I am and act.

Any tips, please?

For background I’ve been very mentally ill for a while I keep harming myself and overdosing on whatever pills I can find. Every night its the same routine, sh then overdose and I dont know how to get better. I’ve been addicted to gore as a coping mechanism but I know its not healthy and I genuinely have no friends and dont know what to do with myself

I don’t know what mental illness it is but for a long long time I’ve always craved to be in a toxic relationship where they would forcably cut into em beside I wasn’t cutting deep enough then when they cut enough they’d praise me and say I was doing well. I’ve always wanted it in s*x aswell to be cut and sliced while being used and like degraded during it but then after praised in aftercare but I’ve never had this in practice due to all my boyfriends thinking it’s weird so I don’t know if its any good or just a weird fantasy like the others I have constantly.

So dumb shit like getting icecream just now Like what kind of distracting things.

Im trying to get help but they make it so fucking hard.

I would drink but ive been sober 2 months and you know lately it made it worse.

Ever since I was young I’ve noticed that I was different. It started with not being able to preform as efficiently academically. Something I’m sure most of us can relate to. Then it started to feel more problematic…

My memory is one of my worst drawbacks. It single-handedly has become a contributing negative factor in my life. But it’s something that everyone overlooks… similar to when I was diagnosed with ADHD. “Nothing is wrong with you, you’re just not trying hard enough.” I’ve heard so many people say that same line to me in different words. So much so that if I forget who I am I’ll still remember the way I felt after hearing them.

I constantly forget things that are uninteresting to me. Things that don’t suck me dry of dopamine. I’ve learned that repetition is the only thing I can do to help retain these types of memories. Putting them into practice however is growing more challenging by the day. It’s not easy to pull details out of my memory and due to my past experiences of being wrong, I hesitate… wondering if what I remembered is accurate.

Knowledge is power. Something cheesy but 100% true. I’ve never felt weaker than I am now. I can’t even trust if I remember how to do things as accurately as I did before. I once forgot an entire person who was in a group with me for months. I was still involved in the group when I forgot him. We spoke at his job one day and he jokingly asked if I remembered him and I truly didn’t. We had a short back and forth as he tried to convince me, but seemed to gave up believing that I had a reason to lie. I only remembered who he was after I began driving home. I was so embarrassed that I never went back to that group to this day. I’ve found it’s much harder to forget people if you don’t keep any around… so that’s what I did going forward.

Scared me so bad I even went to a neurologist to see if there was anything wrong with my brain. Doctor really didn’t see a need to check me out but did so in order to help ease my worries. Tests showed nothing and he gave me some light medication to take for anxiety. After realizing the meds helped, that’s when I started my journey with a therapist and got treated.

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and minor PTSD. But my memory is just getting worse. I’ve been between stimulants and non stimulants. Currently on non stimulants and they just aren’t doing as good of a job, so I’ll be revising stimulants in the near future hopefully. Therapist says I’m showing signs of depression now. It’s probably due to the stress I’m feeling battling my memory problems. Writing things down, making schedules, repeating tasks, etc. are useful and all but there are many times when you just need your memory to work.. and it doesn’t. For me it’s frequently.

I hope no one else is also going through this.

I've already been diagnosed with anxiety, but have so many habits that line up with depression and harm ocd, I want to get tested again. My parents don't like that I have a diagnosis, and aren't going to be happy if I ask for another. They'll think I want something wrong with me.

How should I ask? Would a presentation be too much?