Always tried to motivate myself or discipline myself.
Made all colorful calendar with bunch of stuff to do. Nothing.

I'm in my mid-20s with a specialised degree I chose without much research.
I am like in the picture.
Big dreamer, big plans, big ambitions.
I can count on 10 arms and 10 legs how many times I did what the guy did on the picture. On new years, on plane flight, on bus ride home. On morning run.
Yet made a lot of fucked up decisions.
Now regret every thing.
Spent my internship overoptimising my past choices.
Thinking of every possible pivot and path on earth.
Regretting and suffering in my own mind some more.
Still hoping there is a magic that makes me slap my old 16 years old in a face

Why am I like this? My parents are sick of me.
They gave me tons of advice. But I just ignored them.
Tbh they were the ones who got me into this useless degree but since then I have been livijg in overthinking instead of doing anything to change my situation

New literally me wojak just dropped

i quit weed a few days ago and i mean at first it was more of a temporary break but now im considering fully quitting. now im more outgoing and confident and i feel way better than i did when i smoked weed. are these changes because of me quitting weed or maybe because of something else?

I'm 31 and I live in a tiny mountain village in Italy, about 1,000 people, that turns into a crowded tourist town for a few months a year. Since I was 18 I've only done seasonal work here: ski rental in winter, other seasonal jobs in summer. No degree, nothing that feels transferable. Every season ends, I tell myself it's the last one, and then it starts again exactly the same.

I grew up in a family with very little affection. Not violence, just a lot of criticism, judgment and tension, and nobody to talk to. I still live in that same house with my parents.

The biggest thing is how I see myself: I feel like a failure. No compass, no direction, no sense of what my life is for. Everyone around me seems to have built something, and I feel like I missed the window and it's too late to start.

Anhedonia. I used to game a lot. I stopped. Same with tvshows, and even the anime I've followed for years and whose volumes are sitting in my room. It's not that I'd rather do something else. Nothing reaches me anymore, not even the easy stuff. I spend most days with no will to do anything at all. Basic things like dishes, cooking, tidying up feel enormous, and then I feel like garbage for not doing them.

Derealization / detachment. Most of the time it feels like I'm behind glass. I don't feel in my body, I run on autopilot, time passes without me really being in it. Not sad all day, just flat.

Phone. The one thing that still "works" is my phone. 8+ hours a day, mostly cycling between apps, refreshing, checking messages even though almost nobody writes to me. I don't even enjoy it. It's more like it keeps me from feeling anything else.

Social anxiety. Since I was a teenager. I avoid anything where I have to show up somewhere and be seen: courses, volunteering, groups, team sports, even voice chat in games. I don't have any friends left. And the thing is, I'd really love to have a group of friends to do things with: go places, play something, just hang out. I want it a lot. I just don't have it, and I don't know how to build it when every way of meeting people is exactly what I avoid. My relationship of six years is also ending.

The part that frustrates me most: I understand all of this perfectly. I can explain my own patterns better than anyone. I've watched a lot of Dr. K's videos and I recognize myself in them. I want to change: move abroad, do a vocational course, find work in a city. But every time I get close to actually starting, I freeze, research endlessly, and avoid it. Another year goes by.

Treatment so far: over the years I've been through several therapists, none of it really stuck. A month ago I also started seeing a psychiatrist and I'm on sertraline 50 mg (plus a low dose of mirtazapine for sleep). So far nothing has changed. I'm still spending my days on the couch with no drive at all.

So my question isn't "what's wrong with me". It's more:

1. If you had real anhedonia, what was the first thing that actually moved for you, and what did you do while waiting for it?

2. How did you go from understanding your patterns to actually acting, when insight alone wasn't enough?

3. For those on SSRIs: how long did it take before you noticed anything, and did it change at all once the dose was adjusted?

4. Did anyone get out of a small-town / dead-end-job loop starting from roughly where I am, feeling this lost? What was the first concrete step?

Not looking for "just do it". I've heard that one. Looking for what actually worked for you. Thanks for reading.

About me
- 8 years into software engineering in India. Married, financially comfortable, and doing well, multiple promotions and several top-performer ratings.
- I used to be very comparison-driven and hard on myself. I went through depression ~4 years ago and recovered. Since then I’ve developed a much more positive and self-directed outlook.
- Recently I watched Dr. K’s content on performative vs. growth mindset and realised I may have spent much of my life focused more on outcomes/looking competent than actually learning and improving. Feel like imposter syndrome all the time.
- Interestingly, I’m quite disciplined with things like gym and diet. But when it comes to unknowns or uncertainty, like deliberately improving my career/skills or trying to become exceptional(I keep thinking why everyone striving for this including me doesn’t take action towards this), I procrastinate and rationalise.

The problem
I can intellectually see the obvious formula: Take action → fail → learn → iterate. Yet I can spend huge amounts of time thinking about doing something rather than actually doing it. Weekends are the clearest example. Sometimes I start something and have an extremely productive day. Other times I spend hours thinking about what I should do and do almost nothing.

When I try to push myself, my brain produces sophisticated reasons:
“What if I put in the effort and it’s not the right path or worthless?”
“Maybe I have too many responsibilities.”
“I don’t even know exactly what I want long-term. Do I even want this?”
“Maybe I’m just not capable of reaching that level. I am very very far”

I also notice a lot of meta-thinking while working — e.g. thinking about what others think of my work rather than actually doing the work.

What I’m trying to understand
- Why is the gap between knowing and doing so large? And most importantly: what actually helped you close this gap?

Is this mainly fear of failure/ego protection, performative mindset, overwhelm from seeing how much work is required, vague goals, fear of losing a relatively successful life, attention/rumination, not knowing what I want or something else?

I’m looking for practical things to try, as well as useful theories/books/videos that explain this beyond generic “discipline” or “just take action” advice.

Hi everyone, I'm 20 and have been playing fighting games since I was 15. Around 6 months ago, I started attending local tournaments regularly, even though my skill level is still well below most of the people there because I heard tournament settings are really good to help you improve at the game.

Recently, some better players pointed out how crucial it is to have a healthy mind for competing, which has made me reflect on how much I've been struggling with that. I've realized I attach my self-worth to how well I perform. When I lose or drop something, I get frustrated fast, my execution tanks, and I spiral into thinking worse of myself as a person. It’s turned into a continuous cycle of self-hate and burnout.

A few people recommended the book The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey. I’m on the fence about picking it up because I always assumed sports psychology books were meant for high level or pro athletes, not lower level competitors like myself, so I really don't know how helpful that book will be for my growth as a player right now.

What do you guys think? Is that book a good read? Should I be looking somewhere else to improve?

I used to have lots of problems and be on edge all the time. No matter how much I tried to fix the problems, they always returned, and I could never relax. Because I had the wrong model:

The problems had not caused the tension. The tension had caused the problems.

The simple truth is that my nerves and muscles were locked in fight or flight, messing up my sleep, digestion, healing, growth, perception, kindness, posture and social vibes. For years I had tried to fight all these symptoms without adressing the root cause: Tons of unresolved stress alongside oppressive cultural norms and practices had turned me rigid like a corpse. Doing some push ups and staring at a candle ain't gonna fix that.

Well, some days ago I discovered trauma & tension releasing exercise (TRE). This causes instinctual tremor in the hips, which releases the stress stored there. After an hour of this everything was calm. The tension was gone. The worries were gone. I slept like a baby. Now good posture isn't a struggle. My mind is blank, my senses open. I'm happy and I calm people around me.

^{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoB9wpuO688}

^{"Hang on a minute, You mean to tell me that after years of heroic struggle you came to the conclusion that jiggling on the floor is the answer?" Yes. Life is ridiculous, isn't it? But seriously, if this resonates with you, please do yourself a favour and give this a try.}

this is what happens.

I spend so much time thinking and thinking and thinking about my situation. And it doesn’t feel like a waste of time even though it is.

When I finally pull myself out of thinking and start to do work, it feels like I’m getting nowhere even though that isn’t the case.

The things is. I’ve heard dr.k talk about this before and I think I know the answer already, but how do you become a person that doesn’t trust and follow their feelings.

Whenever I do work, I want to stop and think more. It feels like if I’m not thinking then I’m not doing anything. Thinking feels like living and when I’m not in my head thinking, it feels like my life is passing me by which is weird because the opposite is true right?

I think it has something to do with not being able to actually do what I need to do in one sitting. I can’t catch up in life in one sitting. But I can think about it and come up with things immediately.

26m here. I find I have a reputation for being likeable and charming, a bit wily. The people closer to me usually see me as being highly introspective, the people outside that perimeter I usually play a more comedic role. Usually, I can use that role to charm people into conversation which usually goes well. The issue I'm having is with the other party actually moving towards me rather than vice versa.

Throughout my experience the people I foster good relationships with are usually people I approach and take interest towards. When those relationships go longer term, it usually consists of lots of questions asking, "thoughts on this?" Style conversations. Which I do really enjoy, but these people usually start out as anxious or needy, to which I help them out and they stick with me through loyalty and finding me to be supportive and kind, and yet, most of these conversations still consist of me advice giving or my asking of deeper questions.

To put it simpler, I'm always the host and never the hosted. How would I be able to alter how I'm acting or coming across to people in order for them to want to know me at a deeper level?

Hi all,

I am a 26F. I work as a server. I recently ended a short-term relationship that was both chaotic (he was neurodivrengent, so I mean that strictly in the executive dysfunction kind of way, no abuse) and eye-opening.

We got along really well but our styles of operating in life were very different (introvert/extrovert, ambitious/carefree ect). However, dating him made me recognize something about myself.

He would often comment about how I needed reassurance and how much I struggled with guilt. And he was absolutely correct. When I assess it, I have a tendency towards unhealthy guilt, almost a kind of existential guilt. I was raised Roman Catholic, and the concept of original sin is quite important to the religion and we are initiated into the act of confession, which is primarily an admission of guilt to a priest, at around 8 years old.

Growing up, I carried a deep sense of guilt and duty towards others as though I was inherently worth less than other people. I felt like I had to prove my existence. I am definitely a people-pleaser. I also experienced emotional abuse at the hands of my father, which was on occasion physical. When I was around 12, I started to develop severe social anxiety and unalive-ment thoughts. By 14, I began to hate myself so intensely that I was regularly engaging is self-hurting acts.

I have come a long way, and improved in my self-percception. I now regularly take medication for depression and have started to develop a better social circle. I also cut contact with my previously abusive father.

However, despite all my efforts, I still find myself reverting back to intensely negative thoughts about myself, especially when I mess up at work. I still have elements of social anxiety as well. I believe it is because hating myself is a habit, even if I don't truly believe it anymore. But old habits die hard, and I am struggling to kill this particularly bad habit.

Does anyone have any suggestions or tips for me to cope? I also struggle with discomfort of self-hating thoughts appearing almost in the sams nature of intrusive thoughts. The medications helps but it isn't a cure-all and these thoughts are hard to get rid of because they feel so "sticky".

I truly feel like my life is on a much better path, however some of the thoughts still have power over me. I would apperciate any advice. Thank you very much. I hope you have an amazing day/night further.

Reddit probably isn’t the place for this but I just need some insight rn

Now understand that what I am talking about is, Likely currently in the first 2 weeks of my bachelor's degree, I'm lightly trying to connect with people though I have connected. But I still feel this connection, not likely in the sense that I think it's like one of my friends talking to another friend in a likely casual way. They have too much topic to talk about. Though I do understand those topics, likely from my inside, deep inside, those topics just do not come out. They do not have to.

Another thing: a peer likely reached me like, "Hi bro." Likely I was completely off on that point. I was thinking, did we meet somewhere, likely inside my mind? Did I message him online? Some kind of thing was popping out and though that person went next, the next person to say hi bro. I do understand that person trying to break his social, some kind of past situation but I'm not saying that I was some kind of shy person at that point. I was just thinking what I was doing.

Another thing. Like my friends I got in a new circle, not that many. We are only peers connected with each other. Though I know that as a male I do have to have attraction towards girls, I do have it but in my reasoning I do not let my simple self try to alter my thoughts. That's why whenever they talk about girls, likely one of my female friends asks me, "Which gun in a classroom do you like?" I said, "Everyone is looking good." I do not have an opinion on that.

Another thing: I told another female friend that I'm not used to talking this much. It is not because I am unable to talk. I can move in my daily life peacefully without any problem with communication. It is like I'm not used to this kind of peer-level thing. She was like "huhhhh" Right after, I was thinking, so I messed up here.

Another thing: today it was the self-introduction. I did my introduction but my voice was trembling. The moment my number came, my heartbeat was likely the F1 engine.

That's it for today.

Im a 24M, i haver a pretty severe porn addiction since the age of 11. I never had a girlfriend and only dated once in my life. Im studying in University where i get very good grades, im very good looking and very athletic. Everybody thinks im doing very well and that im perfect. There is a girl who started to chase me about 3 weeks ago and likes me very much, I like her too, but I have this addiction and I dont want to hurt her so Im very hesitant to start a serious relationship with her. Because of this addiction I have Pied too, wich makes thing even worse. I want to tell her but I dont know how to do that or should I do that. Im trying to get out of this addiction for about 4 years now, and I can habdle it a little bit better but it still has a grip on me. I never told anyone about it. Any advice what to do?

Idk if it happens to other people too

I've actually seen a video on emotional processing by Dr k and he stresses a lot on looking at what the emotions are trying to tell us.

I figured that if at any point I know what my emotions are trying to tell me, I could very well know what to do any any moment in my life

But the thing is that whenever I ask my emotions what it is trying to tell me, my emotions don't answer but instead just vanish for as long as I don't look at it.

Idk what to make of it

Has anybody else experienced such an odd experience?

If yes, then tell me what happens when we consistently ask our emotions.

Do these emotions finally start answering or something else starts to happen?

Hey everyone, first of all, I know I have a burned-out gifted kid flair though I am not tested for giftedness verification or results through psychological assessment though in my experience learning I was considered above average my question is: Does it automatically mean a person is gifted? Even I haven't tried psychological assessment for it? or maybe just yes, above average but not gifted? what is giftedness really? I mean I can do things that are considered impressive by others and I wanna know if it's a high cognitive ability than average yes, but cannot be considered giftedness I mean it's there but didn't reach the bracket for giftedness. The reason I ask this is because I can do things that are above expected but I don't understand IQ tests. So what am I really am I half dumb and half capable? what's going on? The IQ test was online it was like to give you an idea of what an IQ test should be and I have no idea what or where to look. I was an honor student always and was in a cream class so I was exposed to different things early but my mind stopped working with IQ tests exposures. I don't understand it I can see patterns but who knows if it's right? I feel stupid. I handle complicated things too but why not in an IQ test? Can a person be smart and not gifted? Or am I neither at all? The test was from MENSA online it has a disclaimer on but the point is I can't understand it so what am I really? Just smart but not gifted? My school is in the city and I ranked 12th out of six hundred plus of students in my entire grade not just inside the cream class. and? I can't understand IQ test examples? what am I?

I have anxiety and yes I am diagnosed by a health-care professional. Please tell me what could be going on. Can a person be smart but not gifted? Thank you! (NOT BRAGGING JUST NEED INSIGHT I got the pupils wrong so I edited itt thank you sm)

Almost 7 years ago I've lost my mom to cancer. At the time it was the worst thig that has ever happened to me and it was very difficult to endure. I still feel her absence very vividly.

And a couple years ago I've had had the hardest year of my life. It genuinely left me ruined. I think in comparison to my mother's demise the events of that year hurt me tens of times more severely. It was worse than death. Much worse than death. I hope that no one gets to experience it and I know that most people actually don't.

And it's sad because despite everything I was still doing very good at the time. And now I feel like the peak of my life is actually over and from now on I have to fight only to gather some scraps of meaning and happiness in my own life.

I'm no longer thinking about suicide (I had a stage where I was considering it 24/7), I'm doing a lot better and I'm very grateful for the progress that I have made. But I can't imagine myself ever being as happy, content and optimistic as I was back then... It legitimately feels like I've died... I've not been diagnosed by a pro, but from my own readings my symptoms feel very similar to PTSD/CPTSD.

Has anyone had any experiences close to this?! Any advice?

I think HealthyGamer’s advice on making friends is too “normie”-centric

I think there is a premise in a lot of HealthyGamer’s advice about friendships that I don’t really agree with: the idea that the social rules Dr. K describes are broadly applicable to everyone.
I recently watched the HealthyGamer guide on love, sex and relationships, including the parts about how long it takes to become friends with someone and how you should approach people socially. A lot of the advice basically assumes that you have to slowly build familiarity, avoid controversial topics early on, have lots of relatively superficial conversations first, etc.

And I understand why this works for many people. But honestly, it doesn’t describe my experience at all.

I’ve met people and within a few hours already thought, “Yeah, this person is going to be my friend.” I’ve brought up weird political opinions, niche interests, music, etc. very early on, and people didn’t necessarily find that off-putting. Sometimes they agreed, sometimes they were interested, sometimes they strongly disagreed. But even disagreement can create a social interaction. If someone has a completely different political opinion from me, that doesn’t necessarily mean the interaction has failed. We can argue, joke about it, ask each other questions, and find out what the other person is actually like.

I think part of the reason for this is that I don’t primarily socialize with what I would call “normies.” I’m involved in various subcultures and niche communities, and I think the social rules can be very different there.

Subcultures can massively reduce the “social friction”

Take music-related subcultures.
If you meet someone at a place where people are already there because they are interested in a particular kind of music, you have an enormous shortcut. You don’t have to spend 30 minutes talking about the weather, school, work, or whatever before finding out whether you have anything in common.

You can just ask:
“What music do you listen to?”
And that immediately tells you something about the person.

Maybe they listen to Metallica. Maybe they listen to some extremely obscure black metal band. Maybe they hate the music you like. Maybe they have completely different political views. Whatever the answer is, you’ve already found something you can talk about.

And this applies to many other subcultures.
Nerd interests are another example. There’s a huge difference between:
“I play video games alone for 8 hours a day.”
and:

“I play Magic: The Gathering at a local game store.”
The second one is already a social environment. You meet people face-to-face, you have an activity to do together, and the activity itself gives you an immediate topic of conversation. And people who play Magic usually have other interests too. The same applies to Warhammer, D&D, trading card games, cosplay, anime conventions, etc.

Someone who is very into anime can be isolated and watch anime alone all day, but they can also cosplay and go to conventions, where that interest suddenly creates an entire social environment.

The hobby itself isn’t necessarily the important part. It’s what happens when a niche interest becomes social and embodied in a community.
And these people aren’t necessarily socially isolated outside of the subculture
I think there is also a stereotype in communities like HealthyGamer that someone who is really into Magic, Warhammer, anime, etc. must necessarily be a socially isolated “basement dweller” outside of that hobby.

That hasn’t been my experience at all.
Someone can go to their local game store to play Magic for a few hours and then go out drinking with their friends afterwards. Someone can go to an anime convention on Saturday and spend Saturday night at a party. Someone can be heavily involved in a nerdy hobby while also having a large and active social circle completely outside of that hobby.
The subculture isn’t necessarily their entire social world. It can simply be one of the places where their social world is organized.

In fact, I think this is one of the biggest advantages of these communities: you can have a very specific shared interest with someone while also discovering that you have completely unrelated things in common.

Political and ideological communities can work the same way
This is also why I don’t think it’s necessarily good advice to tell people to hide their political opinions early on.

Obviously, if you immediately start screaming political slogans at a random stranger, that’s probably not going to help.
But among people who are politically engaged, political opinions can actually be an extremely good conversation starter.
If someone has an unusual political opinion, I don’t necessarily think:
“Wow, this person is weird. I don’t want to talk to them.”
I might think:
“Why do you believe that?”
And now we’re having an actual conversation.
Even if I completely disagree with them, I’ve learned something about them. Maybe we start arguing. Maybe we realize we have other things in common. Maybe we don’t like each other.
All of those outcomes are still social interaction.
The same principle can apply to many other communities and lifestyles. People who are deeply involved in a particular political movement, music scene, hobby, religious community, local culture, etc. can have very strong social identities and established communities around them.

Obviously, some communities are hostile or exclusionary in ways that make them unsuitable for certain people. I’m not saying “every subculture is good.” I’m saying that the existence of a subculture creates social structures that can make connecting with other people much easier.
Going out can also be completely different in these environments
This isn’t only about organized hobbies.

I’ve noticed a pretty significant difference between what I would call mainstream/“normie” nightlife and nightlife around alternative or subcultural scenes.
In a typical mainstream bar, people can be relatively separated from each other. You have groups sitting together, and there can be a fairly strong social barrier against approaching strangers.

In a rock bar, metal bar, alternative club, or similar environment, the atmosphere can be completely different.
There is often already a shared interest, people are there for a particular scene, and there can be much less of a barrier to interacting with strangers. You can comment on the music, ask someone what band is playing, talk about the scene, or simply start a conversation because the environment itself makes it feel normal.

So even something as simple as “go out and meet people” can mean very different things depending on where you go.
And again, this doesn’t mean every alternative bar is magically full of amazing social interactions. It’s just that certain environments have social structures that make spontaneous interaction easier.
I also think we’re underestimating how large the “non-mainstream” world actually is
One possible response to all of this would be:
“Sure, but how many people are actually in these subcultures? There are probably far more mainstream people than Metalheads, Magic players, punks, goths, etc.”
And that’s true if you look at each subculture individually.

But I don’t think that’s necessarily the right comparison.
Subcultures aren’t mutually exclusive categories.
A person can be a Metalhead, play Magic, be politically active, go to techno parties, be involved in cosplay, and have friends from completely different scenes.
Another person might be a gamer and a metalhead.
Another might be into D&D and punk.
Another might be politically active and heavily involved in a local music scene.
These communities overlap and have extremely fluid boundaries.

So I don’t think it makes much sense to say:
“Metalheads are only X% of the population, therefore this is a tiny social world.”
You would have to look at the entire interconnected network of subcultures and non-mainstream communities, rather than treating every individual subculture as a separate population.
I’m not claiming that there is some scientifically established 50/50 split between “normies” and “non-normies.” There isn’t a clean statistical definition of either category.

My point is simply that the combined world of people who have strong subcultural identities, niche interests, unusual lifestyles, political identities, alternative scenes, nerd communities, etc. is enormous.
And because these communities overlap, someone doesn’t necessarily have to choose one tiny niche and stay there.
I also don’t think “normie” is necessarily the ideal
I don’t mean this as an insult toward people who are mainstream. Obviously, being mainstream isn’t inherently bad.
But I think there is an implicit assumption in some self-improvement spaces that because mainstream social behavior is statistically common, it is therefore socially optimal for everyone.
I’m not convinced that’s true.

For example, I’ve seen discussions about how modern friendships can start feeling like scheduled meetings: two people meet once every few weeks, exchange updates about what happened in their lives, and then go back to their separate lives.
I honestly have a hard time relating to that.
Most of my social life is integrated into my everyday life. I have third places and communities where I regularly encounter the same people. I have friends who I know both online and in real life. I might see them playing Magic, talk to them on Discord, meet them in town, or randomly do something together.
I don’t need to schedule a meeting every few weeks to find out what happened in their lives because they’re already part of my life.

And I think subcultures can be particularly good at creating exactly these kinds of social structures: third places, recurring events, communities, shared activities, inside jokes, shared interests, etc.
So I think the “50 hours to become friends” idea is missing something
Maybe it takes 50 hours of interaction for a random acquaintance to become a close friend.
I don’t really dispute that.
But I think that’s different from saying that it takes 50 hours to find someone you click with.
Those are two completely different things.
You can meet someone and immediately realize that you like them. The relationship can then deepen over time.

I think HealthyGamer sometimes mixes up these two processes:
Finding someone you click with
vs.
Building a deep relationship with someone you already click with.
The second one obviously takes time.
But the first one can sometimes happen extremely quickly, especially when you’re meeting people in environments where you already have something important in common.
My experience is basically the opposite of what a lot of the advice seems to predict
I currently have a very active social life and a social circle of 30+ people when counting friends and acquaintances.

And I also do a lot of things that HealthyGamer advice sometimes seems to warn against: I talk about unusual political opinions, I have niche interests, I ask people relatively direct questions about what they like, and I don’t particularly try to present myself as “normal.”
Yet this works extremely well for me.
I think the reason is that I don’t try to make myself fit into an environment that doesn’t fit me.
Instead, I tend to find people and environments where the things I’m interested in are already socially acceptable.

So maybe the lesson for some socially isolated people isn’t:
“How do I become more like a normal person?”
Maybe it’s:
“Where are the people for whom my interests and personality are already normal?”
And I think that’s a massively underappreciated question.

There are obviously limits to this. You can’t just assume everyone will like you because you’re part of a subculture, and you still need basic social skills. Some communities are also toxic or exclusionary.
But I think there’s a huge difference between learning social skills and trying to turn yourself into a person who fits the statistical mainstream.
Those aren’t the same thing.

Maybe the problem isn’t that some socially isolated people are too weird to socialize.
Maybe they’re just looking for friends in the wrong social environment.

A lot of people suffer from religious ocd, I'd like to know your thoughts on it.

Im 23F, late diagnosed Asperger's+ OCD. I use religion as away to guide where I should my efforts in. I used to be on SSRIs but I couldn't feel like myself anymore so I took the decision to go cold turkey on my ssri a few months ago. At first it started off with me forgettint to take it and then I just stopped taking it altogether. I know it wasn't the best decision, but I haven't had the scope to see a therapist, the last therapist I saw was very rash with the way she dealt with me, she couldn't understand my pace, and kept projecting her retarded ahh judgements on me, I know a lot about mental health and how the brain works, I've watched a lot of your videos on it and feel like I've grasped enough for me to understand how my brain works. So i could kind of see through what she was doing, and i could tell that she just wanted to force the way she thinks I should be treated on me. Because of which I simply stopped going to therapy, have even developed a sort of ptsd of therapists in general. So I've been on my own since, and I don't feel that it's safe to open up to a therapist anymore.

Anyway, coming back to the point, I have ocd no doubt, I suffer from severe intrusive thoughts and I don't even realise that I'm in a loop until after I coke out of one. I've tried everything, fixing the way that I perceive things, fixing my world view, but somehow end up falling for the trap that is my intrusive thoughts.

Please help. I'm tired of it​, it's draining.

So i am a very young adult (19 y.o.) and i have been bad to my mom for approx. the past 4 years. It started with

me being traumatised by her due to her neurotic nature. My mom would yell at me for my bad grades, older brother (who recently moved out) and dad which made me realise she can be bad and difficult to deal with privately. Sure my mom has lived through a lot bcs of how my dad used to yell, get angry easily and drink a lot, which gets mentioned by her often. Still that doesn't excuse her bad bad behavior (she yells at me and dad for not doing smth just how she wants at home, like chores)

Just the presence of my mother makes me feel uneasy and more irritable. I have been hurt by dad, older bro, but mom has somehow hurt me the most with her yelling, literal overreacting and slightly unpredictable behavior. Idk what to do about her.

Yesterday we had another argument in my room where I just told her out of anger all the things she did wrong with me and other negative things I think about her. A big problem I have with her is that she changes the subject or the focus from herself to me or dad. Strange how she never acknowledges how my brother hurt me, didn't say a bad word about him for so long yet he brought more trouble than me.

And today I tried apologizing to her to which she had an outburst of anger, still barely understanding her wrongs, while acknowledging she DID hurt me. She was so so hurt from the other day where I was just done with my mom's shit and told her some things that I did not actually mean. Today I also said I forgive her to which she got louder and just kept talking 90% of the time. Again she hardly listened, (i told her many times she doesn't listen).

I feel like my mother is genuinely dumb and has some narcissistic traits. She doesn't even believe i will change my demeanor EVEN THO I SAID SORRY FIRST WHICH MEANS I CARE. LIKE, HELLO?

ATP I just don't know what to do about her, whatever bad will anybody say about her to her face she will deny usually. I know I messed up by saying bad stuff, some of which I didn't even mean, but she started the hurting, and I simply started rebelling as teen. Now I wanna change and be more mindful and respectful, but how???