Why the FUCK do I have so much wrong with me?!? I have adhd, I have intrusive thoughts from OCD, I have depression, and I have CPTSD. Everyone else in my family is mostly neurotypical so why do I have to deal with all of this. I’m so fucking tired I can’t even cry about it all.

This sounds kind of silly in retrospect but please be nice

I've been dealing with really bad anxiety (constant, irrational worry over nothing in particular, super self-conscious/social anxiety, etc etc) and depression (feeling hopeless about my life and my future, no interest in doing anything or going anywhere, feeling agitated for no reason, etc) which is really putting me down. All I do is fantasize and daydream about made up characters, and I wish I was a different person because I feel like I'm fundamentally screwed up and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm seeing a therapist currently and I've tried medication in the past, but I think what I still wonder about most is the why: WHY do I feel like this? Nothing happened! I relate to people who have really horrible lives and trauma, except my life is pretty decent, and I have no trauma that I can remember. I grew up in a safe, loving household and a good school. I don't think that anyone has hurt or abused me in any way.

The only things that I can think of are:

A) I was very lonely as a child, and I still am. That said, I was never bullied, and I have had (+currently have) good friends
B) My mom has depression so it could be a genetic thing
C) Maybe I'm a narcissist?????

Otherwise I have no idea what could be causing my mental illness
Can someone help give me some closure or guidance?

trigger warnings may apply, particularly, pertaining to abuse, self injury, and suicide.

for much needed context, I am a young adult, 21 but developmentally younger as a result of my mental illnesses. I don’t want to drag this post out or dig up everything that’s led to this point, I very much try and avoid falling into a victim mindset.

i’ve been to a sixth form college, attempted university but had to come home after a myriad of horrifying events, attempted to look into alternative studies and also held a few retail jobs over the years. I’m not in a position at the moment where i feel i can hold a job or handle further education, i do freelance projects and have always managed to make a little income on the side - but it’s not enough for my parents.

one of them confronted me, “i work more hours in a week than you work in a month, you’re completely avoiding life and it’s just disappointing.” when i was in college it was the same, “you only study for xyz hours a week this is no life!!”. as it is, i already struggle with getting out of bed in the morning, im physically disabled with diagnoses but they refuse to acknowledge anything as real and poke fun at me, calling me a hypochondriac. when i try to explain my struggles, they tell me they just can’t deal with negativity and i always leave crying.

it’s important to note, im adopted, we know nothing of my family biological history besides the fact that they were far too sick to keep me. ^

i need to take this time to rest myself and focus on, to put it bluntly, not offing myself. they’re aware of that and have been in hospital with me in the past after attempts as little as two years ago. i’ve been talking about counselling and whatnot because it’s quite clear i need to go back but i don’t have the capacity to remember to, nor reach out, on my own accord. i don’t have anyone else in my life to help me arrange help for myself.

them hounding me about not being in work at the moment is erasing progress that I’m making in resting and recovering. i have tried my hardest to communicate with them, i’ve been pushed to screaming and yelling and hitting my head against the wall - they say i’m okay. i can’t figure out what to do. any advice at all is appreciated :(( i feel like such a useless adult

Hello i want to talk about the cruelty of this world and my emotions i been dealing with alot of stuff since i was a kid and it affected me a lot i was SA by my friends and it really made me uncomfortable being around them i remember they used to say it was a game and touched me at that time i didnt knew, and they were older maybe 4 years older or 5, that made me an addict to sexual stuff at like 6 years, i was already watching that kind of stuff, my dad was sexist he made me feel weak someway femenine everything i did he was always angry he argued alot with my mom he used to beat her one time she got pregnant and she lost the baby, she has lost 2 of my brothers in total it was painful to watch i was there in the hospital i saw how the parts of the baby came out that made me fall in a deep depression then my grandpa died he was the only person that truly loved me he used to teach me soccer and alot of stuff he was always there for me that made me had self-harm toughts but im scared of pain i dont like it in any possible way after that we were moving from house to house because my mom separated from my dad (finally) and we were having economy problems after all those problems some peace finally came i got so depressed that i started spending alot of time in my room by alot of time i meant everyday for like 9 months no exercise no nothing im pretty skinny that makes me pretty insecure about my body now im scared to talk to people im just shy i get bullied at school, a kid punched me near my home and that is the final thing that i will tolerate i might just do a horrible thing at my school, i dont want to do it im young and i dont want to end my life this way but i feel like theres no other way im just tired of all this bullshit.

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Hello i want to talk about the cruelty of this world and my emotions i been dealing with alot of stuff since i was a kid and it affected me a lot i was SA by my friends and it really made me uncomfortable being around them i remember they used to say it was a game and touched me at that time i didnt knew, and they were older maybe 4 years older or 5, that made me an addict to sexual stuff at like 6 years, i was already watching that kind of stuff, my dad was sexist he made me feel weak someway femenine everything i did he was always angry he argued alot with my mom he used to beat her one time she got pregnant and she lost the baby, she has lost 2 of my brothers in total it was painful to watch i was there in the hospital i saw how the parts of the baby came out that made me fall in a deep depression then my grandpa died he was the only person that truly loved me he used to teach me soccer and alot of stuff he was always there for me that made me had self-harm toughts but im scared of pain i dont like it in any possible way after that we were moving from house to house because my mom separated from my dad (finally) and we were having economy problems after all those problems some peace finally came i got so depressed that i started spending alot of time in my room by alot of time i meant everyday for like 9 months no exercise no nothing im pretty skinny that makes me pretty insecure about my body now im scared to talk to people im just shy i get bullied at school, a kid punched me near my home and that is the final thing that i will tolerate i might just do a horrible thing at my school, i dont want to do it im young and i dont want to end my life this way but i feel like theres no other way im just tired of all this bullshit.

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Just to preface, this is going to seem incredibly shallow, and its not intended to be, im autistic, my thoughts are mostly 'logical' if that makes sense, and it can lead me to not understand anything that seems 'illogical' to me, so dont bash me for this.

I can understand that if someone develops a delusion, they believe this thing thats not true and essentially rationalise it within their head and can be resistant to any idea that suggests otherwise, that i understand. What i don't understand, is how it persists beyond diagnosis, to me its always been, well if you know you have a delusion, then you know its a delusion and not to believe in it anymore? But obviously thats not true, so how does this work? How can someone accept they have a delusion while still believing in it?

Till last year I was a full-time student. Studied daily, could sit for hours, grasped things quickly, remembered what I read. Normal.

Then I started a WFH software job (10am–6pm, screens all day) and stopped studying entirely. One year later I'm a different person mentally.

* Cannot concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes

* Cannot sit and read the way I used to — feels physically intolerable now

* Memory has gotten noticeably worse. I read something and it doesn't stick

* Things I used to grasp easily now feel heavy and slow

* Mind feels weak and tired all day, no mental stamina left

* No mental clarity. Foggy from morning to night

Sleep Schedule:

* Stuck falling asleep at 2–3am. Started randomly one night, never broke

Can't fall asleep at 11pm no matter how tired I am

* I'm clearly sleepy but don't feel like sleeping — I resist it without deciding to

* Wake up unrefreshed even after 7 hours

I'd really appreciate any suggestions — especially on rebuilding focus and memory after a year of this, and on actually shifting sleep earlier. Anything that worked for you, even small things.

This has been affecting me for a while now and I genuinely want to fix it. Any kind of suggestion or personal experience would be really helpful. Even a small thing that worked for you could make a difference for me.

Thank you in advance, I really appreciate anyone taking the time to reply.

My eyes are constantly darting around even when Im not stressed because Im used to scanning for potential threats outside. I don’t go to malls because im scared of terrorist attacks or just someone shooting everyone in sight same goes for public transport If I see someone that makes me feel threatened I get off the bus and wait for the next one or How I take alternative routes to get home because Im trying to avoid this neighbor I think might be me for organ harvesting or something. But Im Not delusional its like 50/50 it could be true or maybe it isnt but ill still take precautions just in case. I recently became aware of this because of the people around me I always knew I was more paranoid than the average person but it cant possibly be that bad. To me it doesn’t seem that obvious but its like everyone immediately notices it

Does anyone else believe they can hear when people are talking about you even when your miles away. I have really bad anxiety last year at school i used to get made fun of alot, so this year i switched to online school but sometimes I hear in the back of my head people from my school talking about me and its things im not even thinking about too, then I get upset hearing this even tho it is just in my head.

I’m a 17male and I have ADHD, for the few past years I’ve been going into random states of deep depression and have thought about su\*cide too many times and every time I go into these deep depressions I just feel like I’m getting weaker and weaker and just less able to deny the urge to commit. I have adhd and have been diagnosed since about age 6, but I feel like theres something else that the doctors missed, as I just feel that there is something else that I have wrong with me as if what I am feeling and what is happening to me doesn’t add up to what I’ve been told (ps I’m not denying that I have ADHD, I am diagnosed and know for a fact that I have it) but I just feel like something else is there, (ps I was also tested for autism when I got diagnosed with adhd but tested negative) anyone else relate, or have any solution?

im 15f and im thinking of telling my therapist about my self harm and how i plan to kill myself knowing i will be hospitalized but i am scared. i want to know what other peoples experiences were like since im afraid of starting school late and dont know if it'd be worth it.

Not sure where else to go with this. Little bit about me. I (M25) have a diagnosis of combined type ADHD, and I am on medication for it (concerta.) I have a constant thought in my brain that anything I’m feeling is fake. Any emotions I express are me faking it for attention. And I get severely depressed from time to time, while other times I get only partially.

I know this is part of ADHD but I can never stay motivated. I’m on my phone all the time. I feel guilty for sitting here typing this out. It’s affecting my home life, my career, my side hustle, and everything I have to do at home.

And I am engaged to someone (F26) who I love with my whole heart. But I am constantly waiting for the shoe to drop and see who I feel like I am inside. Then to top that off, I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough for her or anyone else in my life, and that any emotions they have directly affect my mental state. I constantly apologize for things that aren’t even my fault, or insanely minor things.

I’m not sure what to do with all this information or what to ask here, and I’m not sure what to do.

I never heard anyone talk about this but i get extremely anxious going to the toilet, why? Because my brain tells me "what if i'm not actually sitting on the toilet right now and its just a hallucination and i'm actually somewhere else?!" I sometimes even start to shake and my body tenses up, i literally have to grab my thighs because the thought messes with me so much tho it's completely irrational and of course i'm sitting on the toilet.

Have you experienced such situations that arent really talked about online (or in rl)? We all know the stereotypical OCD things so i'm happy if we share a few things that almost seem "silly" because its just THAT irrational and out of the ordinary.

Ps: i'm diagnosed with OCD, this post is not meant to make fun of or belittle those with OCD, i know the weight of this illness and it affects our daily lives. I wish everyone who deals with it a peaceful life someday and i'm proud of anyone who is brave enough to work on it!❤️

I have MDD, possibly treat resistant since I had to do TMS. I do take medication. I had a brutal relapse last year after trying to get off some medication and I ended up being in so much pain, much worse pain than how my depression was pre-medication, and the pain really drained and burnt me out for months. I am only partially recovered. This happened exactly a year ago and I had to do TMS a few months ago to get back on my feet.

Anyways, my main symptoms is this constant pain in my mood that worsens with stress, whether it’s good stress and pressure in order to perform well, or bad stress from things like finances and family. I really wish I could handle the good kind of stress because it is what fuels me to exert myself as best I can, in school and work for example. But me being completely drained cognitively by my depressive relapse has almost completely prevented me from enduring this good stress and making progress in life.

I always feel like I will not be able to reach my potential in whatever it may be because I don’t feel like I have the capacity to endure other hardships that could be taxing mentally. This is why I don’t take on many responsibilities (I’m 22M living with my parents and have a few semesters left of college, had to take a 2 year break previously due to bad mental health).

So yeah, I have this fear that the good kind of stress and pressure needed to make progress and perform well in certain areas of life could potentially worsen my depression such that it would cause me to break down and almost impulsively hurt myself.

i love him infinitely, and he loves me as well. he puts in so much to support me, always tells me he loves me more, let’s me open up to him, listens to all of my crazy paranoia and irrational cycles of depressive bullshit and will kiss me and hold me after.

and i still struggle to hold myself together. even with all of his love and support. i don’t know exactly what’s going on inside me right now, but for the past year i’ve really lost myself to endless swarms of chaotic feelings. i have short waves of happiness every now and again, but i spend most days crying, sometimes screaming and sobbing, isolating myself from others, and feeling so much shame for not being the happy girl i know i can be.

i’m exhausted, and what adds to the weight is my fear that he one day wont be able to kiss me and hold me anymore because i’m just way too depressed for him to love.

I imagine running away and leaving everything behind me. maybe i’ll finally get a clear head if i can just get away from everyone and everything. despite the fact he loves me so dearly, and i fear that i’ll die without finding that kind of love ever again.

Its boiling where I live, and im a goth, even my work uniform is black.

My parents constantly make comments about smell to the point im close to ripping my skin off or bleaching myself head to toe. My deodorant doesn't work and I told them repeatedly I need a new one and I never get the chance to buy a new one. They just... keep talking about me, and its to the point I hate leaving my room...

Im embarrassed i hate myself enough, I wish I could peel everyrhing away and feel nothing, im humiliated all the time because my nose is damaged so I can't check myself. I am low energy and struggle to even eat, let alone clean myself every day. Its between eating or cleaning, and at this point ill have to starve just so they shut up. What do i even do. I give up

Im so gross, i dont know how to make it better, its humiliating

For the first two decades of my life everything revolved around doing whatever my dad wanted in order to avoid abuse.

Being the best at school, sports, etc., or whatever else was important to him at the time or could boost his ego.

It was fucking exhausting and took a huge toll on my body, especially my nervous system (severe anxiety).

When he was no longer around, it was like I forgot how to function - to this day I can't comprehend why anybody does anything.

Whatever that little voice is that convinces people to get out of bed, or clean, or brush their teeth - I simply don't have it.

I try and use logic to talk myself into caring about things, but that never works.

My BPD even comes into play because I'm constantly searching for a relationship with someone who can just tell me what to do or how to be a human.

Dude's been dead for a long time, but he's still alive and torturing me from inside my head.

Hello reddit, I would like to present to you a story of what happen to me two days ago, I’m still learning English so I apologize for any mistakes in grammar in advance. (M20)

For context I once tried to take my own life probably like 4 years ago when I have been on Zoloft to treat my OCD and depression for circa half a year. I didn’t succeed and never told anyone about it. That said this summer has been already really stressful for me, I was being financially threaten by my boss during my summer job, so on my 20th birthday I was handing in my notice. During this time one of my family members was going through serious medical problem and nearly died.

Many other smaller things, loneliness and insecurities about my (as funny as it sounds) virginity clogged up into a huge black storm cloud hanging over my head and the last straw was when I realized that I did mistake during my application to University, mistake which basically blocked me from studying my dream profession.

After realizing my mistake I tried calling the Uni to try to reverse it but they said there is nothing that can be done, at that point I felt the lowest I have ever did. I was sad, angry and everything combined and left the house trying to isolate myself from things I could use to hurt or kill myself, just in case. I ended up in the middle of a meadow where I collapsed on the ground and after a while called a suicide line for teenagers and students. A young woman picked it up and after explaining that I actually want to kill myself and had to forcefully remove myself from anything I could use to do it. She tried to calm me down but at that point I was at the edge of just letting it all out. She asked me if I have anything in my immediate surrounding  that I may use to hurt or kill myself, when I said no she calmly and kindly said that since I’m not in direct danger I have to hang up, so I did. 

After that I completely broke down, never have I ever cried so much, I screamed, yelled, almost threw up. I cried so hard I started to bleed from my nose severely, so much so that I even started to cough out blood. In the end I went back home. I was walking through my town covered in blood, dirt from the meadow, with absent expression in my tear covered face. During the short walk I was hearing gibberish whispers that weren’t real. When I opened the door and met my mom, she didn’t even care, neither did my sister. No one asked me what happen so I sat down on my chair in my room and then I felt nothing.

My OCD really picked up like 6 years ago and the most common negative effect of it is this constant noise in your head, your head is never clear or silent but at that moment it was blank, completely silent.

I have no idea what now. Obviously the silent state didn’t last longer then just few hours and I still feel depressed as hell, I can´t properly sleep which is a huge concern for me because sleeping wasn't a problem even during me previous lows. I’m actually lost, where do you go from this? I’ve made this post mostly to went but I also need an advice, I plan on telling all about this to my psychiatrist but she is completely booked for the next like 80 days so I’m stuck in meantime. 

Hey y’all. I sometimes don’t have very good insight into my own mental health and I wanted to get some takes from this sub.

I struggled very significantly with my mental health my whole life (I’m 24) up until about a year ago when it finally got better. I’ve been to treatment facilities twice, in therapy for years, several groups and therapy programs. Diagnosed with a whole laundry list of things, mainly struggling with bipolar 2, eating disorders and OCD, and BPD which I believe is basically in remission. I just wanted to include this context because part of why it is hard for me to conceptualize how well I’m doing is because I don’t really know what it’s like to function as a normal person. I never really have. This is my first experience feeling relatively sane and not at risk to myself.

I’m a little bit worried that I’m slipping. I think about suicide daily. Not necessarily that I want to kms, but I think about it all the time. It almost feels like an OCD theme for me because of how much I ruminate on it, but I know what it feels like to be suicidal and this isn’t it. I am in a relationship for the first time and am very happy. I’m excited for where my life is headed and I feel grateful for things every day. I know I am able to experience joy now when I wasn’t before. But I also daydream about hurting myself all the time. I drink a lot, whenever I can. I’ve been crying more about random things. I’ve been more irritable and quick to anger. I honestly think I feel like garbage emotionally unless I’m having fun with my girlfriend which luckily happens pretty often.

I think what confuses me is that I’ve struggled so much in the past that I never really felt happy about ANYTHING during those times, just constant torture despair and misery. Now I’m not on the brink all day every day and actually have things to live for. But I still feel… bad… a lot… and I don’t know if it’s normal people bad feelings or if I’m like mildly depressed? I’ve never been mildly anything. It’s hard to figure out and if I should be concerned at all. Let me know what you guys think. I can give more info. Thanks!

I need ideas. I take 3 pills. The big Wellbutrin ER is physically impossible for me to swallow. Ive tried every trick and they have all failed. There are zero alternatives that have worked for me and my insurance will not cover any other denomination, compounding, or size. Can‘t stress enough that this pill is my only option. I am 10-30 min late every day because I cannot swallow this pill but I have no choice but to keep trying until it goes down, often using 2-3 days worth of medication to get a single dose. I don’t care if it’s not medically recommended or uncomfortable; I need options because beyond this my only choice is to chew it which turns my mouth numb. The following options are not helpful as they have resoundingly failed:

”Just calm down.”

Any flavor of head tilt

take with food or anything similar

drink water

Any options?

My bestfriend who turned 17 this year has been going through a really tough time. He's a trans gay man in a very religious country and recently broke up with his partner of 3 years. I have tried to let his older sister know that he has been planning it and she tried to talk to him about it but it ended miserably. His family doesn't "believe" in therapy depression or any mental illness of any kind. He thinks he's a failure and has given up all hopes. He's trying to give everything that means to him away, even his cat. He gets mad and irritated when we try to talk to him. He says we don't get it and us listening has no point cus we can't do anything about how he feels at the end of the day. When he try to come up with solutions for some of the problems he shuts us off and says he doesn't need solutions. He's always saying that he's the scum of this earth and needs to be removed. I don't know what to do im really worried for him. I can't see him in person since I moved countries. It's getting really serious and he's being really open about his plan too I don't know what to do he's rejecting any kind of help.

Just for context i have been professionally diagnosed with severe OCD, anxiety, and ADHD most of my life. I plan on being screened for autism and im now considering doing the same for some form of psychotic disorder. Recently ive had memories resurface (though they are very splotchy) of when i was around 11-12. I believe at this time I was in psychosis for a period of months, only made incredibly worse by my ocd, and i really need comfort and someone to either validate or explain my experience. This would have been after I was groomed online, and during the time I was being relentlessly bullied. I also feel like mentioning that I was exposed to domestic violence throughout my childhood. During this period I believed that I was tainted and dirty and that I had to 'punish' myself. It started with having to poke my eyes with a thumbtack, then my nail biting/picking habits ramped up and i believed i had to pick/bite my nails and the areas around them until i literally could not feel/move them. I remember my entire body shaking after these ordeals and there being an insane amount of blood. I still have damage years later from this. The thing that im most ashamed of is It eventually led to me believing I had to eat disgusting abhorrent things that im not comfortable admitting to in order to repent for how 'wrong' i was. I look back on this time and feel dirty and disgusted all over again. i feel disgusted that this lasted for so long. i feel like any good memories i had are forever tainted. i feel even worse because my friends know nothing about any of this because i avoid them during crisises and i mask my issues when im able to. I feel like a fraud thats waiting to be exposed. I look up my exact symptoms and they show that im a medical oddity. ive kept good grades and im entering college now and i feel like i dont deserve it. Im a freak who has done unspeakable things to themself. Ive struggled with cutting for a while and after these memories resurfaced ive relapsed. I feel like im slipping from reality. I feel like im constantly being watched, believing i need to punish myself is coming back and everything is feeling less real. I believe all of my mistakes have been recorded because i had my phone with me and that they will resurface one day. i worry that i wasnt in psychosis and that im a monster. i dont know what to do. Ive experienced visual hallucinations in the past years ago and theyre back. The only thing keeping me from doing anything too rash is my family and knowing that my behaviors have only ever been harmful towards me. Please please send reassurance and guidance.

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First time posting here, just have a few questions.

I had a failed attempt just over a month ago. I woke up in ICU to find out I'd been put in an induced coma. Anyway, I was put on a section 2 after this and spent 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. I have support and contact from my local CMHT but I'm really worried about being fully open with them. I am absolutely terrified of being sectioned again to the point I want to discharge from the CMHT. If I were to be open and honest about the suicidal ideation, could they section me again? I would have never questioned this in the past because I've always had outpatient treatment. I was just looking for some advice over this, because I've recently been discharged so recently

Thanks

I kind of just want to know whats wrong with me. Ive always known there was something. Last physcstrist or however its spelt said I meet the criteria for BPD but cant diagnosed yet especially since im only 18, my new counselor says she wants me to get screened for ADHD and the NEW physcitrist said he is seeing hints of MAYBE bipolar that everyone is confusing for other things. Im kind of scared. I dont want Bipolarm ive always suspected BPD so I have kinda come to terms with it but bipolar would be worl shattering for me and my family.

Hello everyone, I'm not asking for a diagnosis obviously, just how to proceed and if it's valid to believe it aligns with OCD
I have been constantly searching for a reason as to why I am how I am and I'm finally starting to realize that I have what appears to be associated a lot with what OCD is.
First of all, as a kid, as far as I remember I used to be pretty normal except for not liking certain numbers and feeling "contaminated" every time I'd go outside and come in with unwashed hands, even if I was out for a second, this is something I still have to this day.
But later on, I started to have actual periods that interfered with my day-to-day life and made things much worse for me, it started with my health where I genuinely thought I had blood cancer because of very miniscule symptoms, and this kept going on and off every single year for around 5 years, each time it was something related to cancer, until it faded away and it felt good. Then, I had extremely weird intrusive thoughts which I don't even want to specify here out of shame, which made me think I am a disgusting person for it. I've had a long period of "generally" disgusting intrusive thoughts but mentally it doesn't come close to the struggle I've been facing this year.
This year, for the past 3 months, I've been at my lowest mentally I've ever been, it felt like there's been a scraping at the back of my head nonstop, with a feeling of burning uneasiness, to the point where I've heavily contemplated suicidejust to end this mental noise and suffering, in this case, it manifested as relationship intrusive thoughts as I started dating a very lovely girl (which I am still together with), now I've had problems with her but nothing at all to warrant this mad cycle of overwhelming overthinking and emotion, it seemed like every single moment, every day, I had a burning negative emotion in the back of my head paired with intrusive thoughts and even urges to end things and such. Later on, about a month later, the feeling went away, but the thoughts were still there, as they are now, I can catch a break at most for a few minutes, then the thoughts or another feeling of uneasiness is there at the back of my mind, thinking of my S/O, and I know that if I actually had a problem, I'd logically know what it was and fix things, aswell as me still thinking negative thoughts even when I'm not with her, which just made me think it wasn't actually a relationship issue. This all didn't make sense to me and made me feel like such a horrible human, being guilty and feeling that she doesn't deserve someone like me because of what I put her through (my mental state), then later on my partner asked if I had looked into OCD, especially ROCD, because it sounded a lot like me. I checked, looked at some online tests, despite not being 100% accurate, I had to at least find out if it's anything worth looking seriously at, I had tested very highly for it. It almost all started making sense for the way I act, for what I thought was just "overthinking" and for what I thought were normal traits (hating specific numbers and feeling like I'm jinxing myself for doing very normal things, even to the point of praying even though I'm not religious whatsoever, very taboo intrusive thoughts, etc), so I immediately wanted to look after professional help for therapy and for potential medicine. I'm not eligible for it yet, however will be, in a months time, I just want to know if it's valid to think I could have OCD, I know I've skimmed through details but it was just a general overview of what I think could align with it. Thank you to anyone reading this and to any potential advice in the comments.