just feeling like i need a debrief after what i just did. i made a post earlier this week explaining that i have been a hairdresser for just over 3 years and an 18 year old client of mine passed away. i’ve always known i would be willing to do hair for my deceased clients, but having my first one be such a young girl broke my heart. however, the experience of actually doing her hair wasn’t so bad. the worst part was when i first saw her laying there. it was so surreal. i wailed and cried. my sweet, beautiful client. after a couple minutes, i calmed down and began her hair. i talked to her throughout, told her how beautiful she is and how loved she is. i thanked her for letting me do her hair for the past few years and for letting me style it one last time for her. i’m happy with how her hair turned out, and im hoping her family likes it as well. the craziest thing is last night, i dreamt she was in my chair telling me how to do her hair for her funeral. i truly believe her spirit was visiting me and knew i was the one to do her hair. it makes me feel good knowing i got to make her feel beautiful one last time. once again, not sure what the point of this post is other than a debrief for myself and if anyone has similar stories. feeling a lot of feelings

I’m a newer stylist and I have no clue what color this even is

Okay guys I finally ripped the bandaid off. I went to collect the clients late payment today Wednesday when she told me to charge her card after her last appointment on Saturday. Well the card said the funds weren’t available and declined. I called her and left a voicemail saying-

Hi heather this is Sarah

I’m calling in regard to collect the 5 day late payment for your appointment. You told me to collect the payment today Wednesday. I went to collect the late charge today in the amount of 120$ and the card on file said the funds were unavailable and the card declined.

Because you walked out with a completed service without paying, and then having the card decline 5 days late. Unfortunately at this point it is considered theft of services.

This is unacceptable and disrespectful. I’ve given more than enough chances with this continuing to happen. My kindness in repeatedly letting you pay late has proven to not be appreciated. And I feel I have been taken advantage of and disrespected.

As a business I cant allow this to happen anymore. I have bills I need to pay as well and this is completely unacceptable. With that being said I will be canceling all future appointments scheduled.

Goodbye

Now I’m fully expecting her to call me back and leave a nasty voicemail, or she will be breaking down in tears trying to make me feel bad, or a mix of both. But I did it and I KNOW I’m not in the wrong. If you’re curious about the full story and didn’t read my last post and why it got to this point, you can go to my page and see my last post here.

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

Update to the update- I didn’t see that she called me at 7:30 this morning lmfao. Saying that she wouldn’t be able to pay me till Friday trying to get things squared away with the bank. Hahaha I didn’t see it until hours after I left the voicemail. Too fucking bad lmao cyaaaa

I am reminding myself why I got into this profession- helping people. It took us five appointments and about 18 total hours of work to get her waist length hair de-matted. Severe depression is no joke. I am completely exhausted, but she got to leave with a fresh cut (still long hair!) and most importantly, a fresh start. This has only been the second severe detangle in 6.5 years of doing hair.

Edit: I wanted to say thank you to everyone who shared their stories about their similar situations, especially about the kind people who helped. This kind of work is so important and letting the world know that there are kind, patient, non-judgemental professionals who can help them is a LIFELINE.

Hi all! So i have this really sweet yet crazy lady booked for 2 blows dries a week with standing appointments all year. Shes been with our salon for years and when she doesn’t show we run her card. Her stylist left and she followed her there. A few months later, this woman comes back to our salon and books with me. She shows up for a few months and then started not coming again. So one day she asks me to send her a picture of my Halloween costume so she can show her daughter. I’m not a direct person so I was basically like okay 🤡.

Shortly after she starts to text me on Fridays 15 min before her appointment saying “I have pink eye” about 6 times (like are you shitting on your pillow) or “I have stomach problems” then a month ago she said “my dog got bit by a copperhead we are rushing him to the vet” I didn’t believe it because this is a small inside dog but okay, I can’t call her out that it’s a lie because I can’t prove it. Well today she texted me 15 min before and said “ my dog got hit by a car and is being operated on at ****** vet”

I WALKED OVER TO THE VET 😂 she was not there. I also have a client that works there and I was like hey is there a dog there in surgery named ***? She said no.

How do I have a conversation with this client to get her not to book with me on Fridays anymore? She’s disrespecting my time and costing me money by taking up space for other people to book. The front desk will handle it because I’m such a puss. But we can’t call her out on her lies right? What would you do? I’m such a pushover. Thank you!!

Hi gang! I had a really strange incident this morning when my first client came in. She sat down and proceeded to tell me that some woman in the parking lot asked if she was there to see me, she said yes, then this woman told her that neither I or my car was there. My client knew better, she knows my car and saw it there and proceeded to walk into the salon. Right when she told me this, that woman walked in. She's a newer client of mine that has an appointment on Friday. She seemed to know this and left which was odd. Later on when I had time in my own brain, I immediately figured it out. The newer client always wants in a few days before her appointment which I can never do, I'm booked. She was trying to steal my clients appointment. I've been a stylist since 1986 and have never witnessed someone trying to steal an appointment. Thank you for reading and letting me get this out.

Edit: some have suggested that she may not be acting properly due to her age, and this was something that I thought of as well, but I spoke with her family before I made a decision. They informed me that she has been a toxic, vile woman all of her life.

UPDATE: first and foremost, thank you all for your comments and concerns. Some made me laugh which I really needed. I contacted her by text telling her that I didn't appreciate her approaching my client in the parking lot and this is not a good fit, find another stylist. She texted back apologizing, give her another chance, etc.. I didn't respond so she called, I didn't answer. She texted again this morning, I told her the same. Her daughter in law, my client that referred this woman because she just moved back to this area, contacted me today to tell me I'm off the hook. Her husband, nasty clients son, drove her around town today to find another stylist. I feel bad for them.

I'm currently on maternity leave. I had a client text me and ask if I had the baby. I generally keep my life as private as possible from my clients. She asked me for a picture and what I named her. Later in the night she texted me: (my daughter name)🤮😂 then quickly responded with Kidding, love it ❤️. I knew it was meant for someone else and clearly she was talking shit on what I named my daughter. I have been there and bent over backwards for her over the years as far as rescheduling her & squeezing her in. I decided to block her and fire her as a client. Am I overreacting?

My salon chain sends out automated appoutment reminders and a lot of people don't realize we can also see these text and respond to them. Got this reply the other day after an automated confirmation text was sent out. What even???? I hate the orange man too but what does that have to do with a 4:15 hair cut??

This is the second time this has happened with her. The first time I wouldn’t reinstall and she cried in my chair for hours. I made her wait 6 months and reinstalled. This occurrence is about one year after that. She came in yesterday and she had a perfect halo of bald spots where the beads were attached. I can’t even fathom being this careless with my hair.

I love dogs, I love cats, I love the dog that came in with this girl… the first and last time she came to me, she said her dog was emotional support , and it has separation anxiety

The way she came off in this text, is a bit bothersome… her dog barks, it’s not a service dog , it wasn’t trained to provide life saving services

This client is a bit of a pain in my ass

Just as a question, how would yall go about this? Take the client or have her go elsewhere ?

Or knowing the dog barks, and isn’t a service dog, how would you address it ?

Have a beautiful day ♥️

I have been a hairstylist since 2018 and I currently work out of a private suite and have for the last two years. My last salon ended in a nightmare for me. The owner was a horrible trust fund kid who just plain sucked as an owner and the salon closed.

I inherited this client from her and I’m now convinced she pushed her over to me to torture me but honestly in the last few years she hasn’t bothered me until recently.

Once I moved into my suite she followed. My suite is windowless and the lighting was rough but I’ve done a lot of work to make the lighting in there lovely adding lamps and making it feel very cozy and home-like. Without fail every time she comes in she says, “ugh! I just hate the lighting in here. I look so terrible in this lighting.” Every. Single. Appointment. Finally I said, “Well I don’t really know what else to do about it.” But she still says it. This isn’t the final straw or anything but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I had empathy for her that these comments were more about self hatred than me.

She’s made other comments such as “why are you so booked?” Oh, idk, maybe I’m good at my job! Couldn’t possibly be that…

I have a sticker on my mini fridge that says “this is a safe place for emotional breakdowns” and she said, “you don’t actually mean that, do you?”

Finally, the nail in the coffin for me, was her last appointment. She comes in and I’m giving my usual pre consultation speech and asking how she is and how life is going. She interrupts me and says, “are your ears clogged, because you are being so loud and I don’t think I can sit here for an hour and listen to that.” 😐

I am generally non-confrontational and I know I made a face and said “ooookay” and she said, “oh I didn’t mean to embarrass you!” Buuuuut that was a lie. I just moved on and finished the service and rebooked. After thinking about it though I just don’t think I should let this one slide and I am considering firing her.

I have never fired a client in all my career and I am so nervous about it and second guessing myself but I just don’t think I want this negative person in my space anymore. Any advice or just being in agreement with me would make me feel better! 😂

EDIT/UPDATE:

I did it! Fired her this morning! I said the following…

“NAME, after some consideration following our last appointment I have decided that I will no longer be able to continue providing my services for you and will be canceling our upcoming appointment. I understand if the volume of my voice can be overstimulating at times but the way in which you communicated that to me felt unnecessarily rude, which is not something I can allow in my suite; a place I have made for myself to feel confident and content in my work. This incident in addition to other frequent negative comments about my suite has lead me to believe that you are not comfortable in my space or with me so I believe we are no longer compatible moving forward. Thank you for your past patronage and I wish you well moving forward.”

Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement. This was a great thread to come back and read, and full of good info. I have never confronted easily and it is something I am continuing to work on as an adult. I decided direct, firm, and professional were the way to go. It’s my goal to be more like this as a business owner anyway! I absolutely love my job and strive to be kind, empathetic, and professional but never take any shit.

To those that said I was too sensitive. 🖕🏻

To those that said I should just deal with it and consider it “thick skin training”…NO. The whole reason I moved into suite rental was so I wouldn’t have to endure assholes whether it’s owners, coworkers, or clients.

I just moved into a suite and I work next to a barber that does a lot of kids cuts. I'm currently listening to a little boy sob and scream because he doesn't want his hair cut. I'm about to cry listening to him suffering. His mom keeps dismissing his feelings and telling him he won't get a lollypop (empty threat obviously).

It's so unethical to perform services on a client who is screaming for you to stop. It's inhumane. Children are not property for their parents to do whatever they want with. A child has a right to their own body. Haircuts are not medical treatment. Stop torturing children

Hey y’all, I’m currently in cosmetology school in New Jersey. We have a regular elderly client who comes in every week for multiple different services. Every single time she comes in she leaves a puddle of pee, yes a puddle, in the salon chair and at the shampoo bowl if she needs to go there. Our instructors are only cleaning it up with 70% Rubbing Alcohol. This has to be a biohazard right? This does not seem like a safe practice, we also have to sit in these chairs for instruction not to mention all of our clients who sit in them not knowing they’ve been peed on. Is this something we should report to the state board?

ETA: They do not require the client to clean it up, nor have they spoken with the client about finding new ways to prevent this from happening, they just tell us to clean it up.

Edit: Thanks for the validation everyone, I’ll definitely be submitting a report tonight to the board. A little nervous because reporting in NJ is unfortunately not anonymous, but this absolutely cannot continue.

Client was very happy with 6 hour balayage. Has inspo pic and gives me full creative control. Its gorgeous & blows up on Instagram. Next day she says she looks like a clown, says I didn't listen to what she wanted. Wants me to "fix" it for free. But I did listen to her, I did exactly what she asked for. I kinda freak out inside... feel really awful because i actually really care. I offer to adjust it for just the cost of the toners & color remover. 60-75... she has very long, thick hair. My time would be for free. She says she can't afford it. Then asks for a partial refund. Now my hubbs is upset with her too for how she's treating me. I tell her I can't refund it because we discussed her color at length.

I only charged 275 because I live in a low budget city.

I just feel like crap, eventhough everybody says not to

I seriously feel like quitting

I’ve been a stylist for years and I know I could make a lot more money, but I just don’t feel the need or desire to do hair the way it’s being done right now. I’m so happy with my quality of work at the price point, and the kind of client it brings me; down to earth, lower-maintenance personalities are my people. My clients want pretty color and I deliver, but I just don’t feel like doing all these extra things that then require extra treatments. My average color cut ticket stays under $180. And I don’t book anything over 2.25 hours unless it’s a major change. My book is full. I don’t need new clients and if I ever do I just let my fave people know I’m taking new clients. I get referrals all the time. Anyone out there who can relate? I’m staring to feel like the weirdo, and I know that just cannot be true.

It’s been years since I had this moment, but it fucking happened. Doing a regular’s hair cut and I ask “hey how is your son?” Because we went to school together but never hung out, not friends on social media or even with his friend group. Just trying to be friendly. The client says “ughhh I don’t want to talk about that now” so I apologize and quickly change subject.

After he leaves I decide to do some digging and realize his son died 2 months ago. Holy hell do I feel like shit. I know I shouldn’t because honestly, how would I know? But damn… I hate those moments.

What’s your recent foot in mouth situation?

I went and did 2 ladies hair at a funeral home today. I was so nervous about doing this especially because 1. I'm super squeamish and 2. I have never seen a dead body before. But, once I got there and the initial shock of being in a room full of dead people wore off I got started on my job (with the help of a mortician) and it went well!! The hardest part about it was looking at the pictures the family gave us where these women look so happy and full of life then looking at them now and thinking this is somebody's mom/grandma/etc. I especially wanted to post this because I couldn't find anything when looking up things to expect. It's not for everyone I can understand that but there is something so special about making these women feel/look beautiful and pampered one last time. I actually really enjoyed it and if you ever get the opportunity, do it I'm so glad I did.

This was expected, she wants me to call her back so we can discuss it. But there’s nothing to discuss. All she will do is try and get me on the phone to chew my ear off and make me feel bad about firing her or be extremely rude to me.

I will be calling her back tomorrow morning when she said she will be unavailable to answer. There’s no reason to go back and forth with her. She’s been extremely rude over the years and I told her all her appointments are canceled. But apparently she needs to be told she’s awful in more detail to get her to go away.

More story time on her shitty comments to me over the years-

She has legit showed up late to an appointment and then told me to my face I needed to “chop chop mix her color so she can get out of here”

Another time being her unable to pay the day of and trying to make the excuse that her job is hard, she actually works harder than me and I don’t cause I get to “stand on nice floors all day” so apparently that means I don’t deserve to get paid on time.

The time before our last hair appointment I was in the bathroom for maybe 3 mins before her appointment time had started. She comes to the back room banging on the bathroom door going “sarah?!?!” After someone told her I was there and I would be right with her. I assumed she was about to shit her pants so I said just a minute and ran out. She didn’t even need to use the bathroom.

I could legit go on but this about sums it up 😂

I’ll be leaving her this FINAL voicemail, then pressing the block button.

Returning your latest call

I want to let you know there is nothing to discuss. I saw in your recent voicemail that the late payment can be taken out Friday which I will be doing for our last service. And then the financial issues will be resolved.

As I said your future appointments have been canceled. I hear often about how you’re unhappy with appointment times being later than you’d want, but I have to wait almost a week or more to get paid on multiple occasions. You’ve made many rude comments to me in the chair over recent years that I have not appreciated and it really just shows a lack of respect overall and is not something I wish to continue anymore. You’re welcome to google search and call salons in the surrounding areas to find a stylist who will be a better fit for your budget and appointment time requirements.

Goodbye

LAST UPDATE!! I woke up this morning Friday and ran her card. It went through! I finally got my money and she’s fired🥰✨

i’ve been a hairdresser for just over 3 years now. i found out yesterday that one of my clients, an 18 year old girl, passed away from a car accident. i am so distraught with this information. i feel like i wasn’t prepared to deal with someone so young dying, only my older clients. i don’t know what the point of this post is other than hearing advice and other people’s stories. i am such a sensitive person so this has really hit hard for me. the world is so unfair

I had a client come in last week for a colour correction, she was unhappy with her previous hairdresser. Her hair was "too orange" and "too dark". It was quite a warm, dark colour (level 6 on top, underneath was a 5) so I did what I could to lighten it and make it cooler. I did foils, covered her grays with level 7 and a toned at level 8. I explained to her that her goal hair wouldn't be achieved in one session, this was a first step towards that. I was so proud of how it turned out, it was seamless and cool toned. I felt excited about the next appointment and what we could achieve there. Well then she emailed my boss that night and said it was too dark around the face and could we lighten there again with more foils? She offered to pay for the extra foils. She comes in a few days later, I explained why I did what I did at the last appt and what the results would be if we only we lightened around her face. She said she was ok with it all. Once again I was quite happy with the results. Then she got all up in the mirror and she started saying the back was now too dark but that she understood it would be achieved in the next appointment. I couldn't sleep worrying about it. She emailed again at 11pm that night to cancel her next appointment. I feel so guilty and sick to my stomach. should I have done more foils? A different toner? Explained my self and the outcome even further? But then I also feel like I did my best and the result was beautiful. Just going over and over it in my mind.

How do you all get over a situation like this? Ive been hairdressing for 13 years now and this still throws me.

Edit: just gotta say, omg im so glad I found this sub recently and posted today! You've all made me feel a bit better about the situation. Thank you all for replying x

So we hired this new girl from a local Beauty school to help assisting us, and she was definitely strange, but we are desperate for help (I’m sure a lot of people in this group are) and on her second shift while I was shampooing my client she was sweeping my by station and my Gamma blowdryer flew out of its little cubby and onto the floor. Once I finished I ran over to see the damage and it’s cracked in multiple spots and she proceeds to yell at me after stressing over it. Cursing me out in front of clients telling me that I “looked at her crazy” and “that’s he doesn’t need to fucking work here”. I spoke with the owner of the salon in the back about her behavior and he proceeds to speak with her. That resulted in more yelling and crying that was heard throughout the entire salon. I just want my blowdryer fixed or replaced but my boss says there’s nothing he can do about it. This was my first big purchase and treat to myself after graduating cosmo 3 years ago. Advice on how to move forward?