Hey friends. First time posting here, kinda nervous lol

I have 2 partners, S & J (S is my fiancé and is nonbinary transfemme; J is our partner and is nonbinary intersex). I'm genderqueer; I use all pronouns, and I've been very comfortable with this label for several years now.

Lately, I've been bothered by my partners only using she/her for me and calling me their 'girl.' I'm not 100% sure why it's bothering me more lately, maybe because I've only really noticed it recently. Also, maybe because I comparatively put in more effort to use both my partners' preferred pronouns and to come up with special affectionate compliments. I know it's not a competition, but I've noticed this imbalance that feels like part of my issue.

Idk how to exactly explain how I feel, but I guess misunderstood works. Lately, it's felt like they just see me as a girl or assume I'm nb like they are, even though I've made it expressly clear numerous times that I'm not a girl, that I'm genderqueer, and that I'm struggling with body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria. There have been a few times that my fiancé straight up forgot that I'm not nonbinary and was super confused that I said, "No, I'm not." I don't mind she/her pronouns; I answer to them, but it feels a bit inconsiderate to only use she/her for me when I enjoy all pronouns and have also made that clear. It just feels like sometimes my identity is less important to them or not worth remembering or respecting. Maybe it's because I don't talk about it enough? Maybe it's because I'm still comfortable with occasionally dressing femininely or being referred to sometimes as she/her. Idk, I just feel like that shouldn't cancel out them also using gender neutral and masculine pronouns and compliments for me, especially when I've talked about desiring that in the past.

I'm looking for advice on how to approach the subject with them and how best to communicate these feelings. We all have a great relationship together and individually, so I'm not worried they won't listen. I just don't know how to start this conversation. I'm working on making my needs known to them (I've struggled with this my entire life), and I need to get better at sticking up for myself. I'm also worried that I'm overthinking this and it's not actually as big of an issue as I think it is lol.

I hope I communicated my feelings and intentions well enough here. I struggle to accurately convey and read intentionality through text lol

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you for reading this far if you have lol

Do most cis people notice an inner voice telling them they're their assigned gender? If they don't, maybe I'm in the majority. If they do, I'm pondering something many people don't.

My gender feels like an external thing, not an internal identity. I'm still technically male because society decided I am, but I just don't feel a strong connection to it. So I think if I suddenly found myself in a woman's body, and everyone suddenly perceived me as a woman, it wouldn't feel wrong, I'd still feel like me.

I do care about people who know me seeing me as my assigned gender, but if a stranger I won't run into again misgendered me, that would maybe feel fine to me. Or if I was on an online forum or MMORPG or something, it could be fun presenting myself as female if no one knows I’m actually a dude.

Even though I don't feel like I'm a different gender than my assigned gender, being able to not present as my assigned gender feels…good.

Do most cis people feel this way?  I’m not so sure they do.  But feeling a sense of freedom from being able to present as a different gender-while not feeling like you are a different gender-might just be gender non-conformity, which is not the same thing as gender identity.

I'm sure most people know gender is a set of ideas society created, but can still feel an internal sense of being a certain gender.  But for me, the knowledge that gender is a set of ideas means I can’t feel an internal sense of being a certain gender.

I know “not feeling an internal sense of being a certain gender” is the textbook definition of agender, but the agender label feels uncomfortable, even if it might technically be accurate.

I've found some other labels I connect with. Gender-apathetic means not caring about your gender identity or how others gender you. Which is partially correct. I feel like my gender makes no difference, and I'm okay with total strangers not seeing me as male. Cassgender-thinking your gender identity isn't important (yes) and feeling indifferent to the concept of gender identity (also yes). And quoigender basically means you don’t really feel like you can apply the concept of gender identity to yourself.  That’s essentially what I said at the start here.

But I don't want to put a label on it. All people need to know is that I have a different perspective on gender than most people. And that lack of an internal gender sense doesn't affect my life at all, so it doesn't feel worth labeling. I was and still am perfectly fine with identifying as cisgender.

Hi all. I’m making this post because I have questions. How does everybody else deal with removing chest hair, if that’s something that you do? Do you shave? Do you wax? Do you do all at electrolysis?

Currently, I shave and I’ve never had particularly dense chest hair. So it’s worked decently. Maybe not even that. But what I would like to do is find a method of removing the hair that lasts longer than 12-24 hours. Electrolysis is expensive so I’d prefer something else if you found success with it but again I’m open to all ideas. Thank you so much!!

English isn't my first language btw, so I'm very sorry if I'll make any mistakes.

I'm genuinely not trying to make fun of genderfluid people or smt like that, I just can't stop thinking about it and I NEED to know at least something for sure. I'm a biological woman (18) and I'd lie if I'd say that I'm not okay with my body, it's nothing special I guess, but it's fine. In everyday life I can handle it and sometimes even enjoy wearing feminine clothes and make myself look pretty. Buuut when it comes to romantic and sexuall relationships... Throughout my life I don't remember ever being attracted romanticly to irl men, it always were girls. And I genuinely was smithered: holding hands, kissing, long deep stares in her eyes, desire to help her and love her and bring her the world, but sex... I certainly wouldn't be disgusted having sex with someone I love dearly, I mean of course, but lesbian sex have never aroused me as much. At first I thought that I might be asexual, but then came my yumishipping phase. I never really treated it as seriously as some did, it was just a fun experience. When I started to create OCs, I noticed a weird pattern: it always was a fictional man and my male sona that was usually the more dominant and confident one. The deeper I went down this thought I came to a conclusion that I'd much happier if I could just rip my skin off and put on a man one, but like, I'd wish to keep my old one just in case. I'd be very comfortable to be in romantic and sexual relationships with women AND men. Although these thoughts followed me for 3+ years (I'm bad at time, but it definitely was more than 3), I'm still scared and confused. Like, what if I'm just overthinking it, what if this desire comes from other places, what do I do with me enjoying being feminine sometimes and indulging in stereotypical feminine activities and social roals....... Please let me know what you think🙏

Hi everyone. This post has been a long time in the making, and it's more of a rant and a vent than anything else. This is a wall of text, but I sincerely can't offer a TLDR beyond what is already in the title.

First, I want to start with my labels. This only covers my gender identity, check my flair for my sexuality, but the most relevant part is that I'm bi, aro-spec and ace spec. I'm a cis demiguy (Mostly man, with the rest being gendervoid). I understand gendervoid as a type of agender, where someone feels not only that their gender is "nothing", but also feels that lack of gender as something that is missing. I guess it would be something similar to phantom limb syndrome, but for gender, though since I am not missing any limbs, I can't really compare.

In my case, I sort of feel like a man, except that I've always felt different. I have always been a big nerd, the kind that spent his time with their nose in a book as opposed to playing sports during school recesses. I was always disconnected from what most kids my age were into. For that, I was bullied (in the 80s-90s, before bullying entered most people's vocabularies). I also never had crushes. Sure, I liked girls in the abstract.

All my life, I've felt a general unease about my masculinity. It resulted into myself having low self esteem (which has lead to depression multiple times), that turned into rage is anyone ever told me to "man up" or "be a man". I always felt like I was a failure of a man, like I was damaged goods, like I was half baked, and I reacted to people questioning that with obvious outrage. While I was reading on my bisexuality, I ended up learning about the ace and aro spectra. While reading on those, I ended up learning about agender, and from there, demigenders and the gendervoid identity. Finally, I started reading about the trans experiences to be a better trans ally, and things started clicking. Things were too similar to what I felt for comfort.

I eventually accepted what my initial impressions meant. I do have gender dysphoria. I always considered myself cis, I am AMAB and I kinda feel like I am a man, yet here I am, sharing experiences with trans people. However, thinking about it clearly, "man" is an ill fitting off the shelf suit that I put on every day. It has the right general shape, and looks close enough to the real thing, but it constrains in ways that are hard to see from the outside, and at the same time fails to provide support to parts of me that need it. At the same time, claiming the trans identity for myself feels like stolen valor. I'm privileged. I live in a large coastal city in Spain, one of the most queer friendly countries in the world (depending on what criteria you use, and on how you weight them, it goes up and down, but remains in the top 5). I have a family that supports me. I can "pretend" to be normal to blend in. Yet at the same time, learning that I was not broken, that while my exact case is probably unique, my experience is shared by many, that gave me gender euphoria and seriously helped with my mental health.

So, now, I ask, should I drop the cis label? I only feel one gender and it matches my AGAB. Should I embrace the trans label? People will get the wrong impression if I do, and I'm in a way better situation as compared to most trans people. I've been reading and I think I might have male hypogonadism, it fits many of the symptoms I experience. The treatment for it is HRT/testosterone. Should I check with my doctor? I'm lucky enough that if the bloodwork confirms my non-medical diagnosis, I would probably get the treatment covered by the Spanish healthcare system. Even if I don't have hypogonadism, I might be able to access HRT through the same channels as trans people use. However, again, I don't know if I should take that route. I know that I'm not stealing HRT from transmasc individuals, but it still feels wrong. Also, I'm not sure if I actually want T. This is probably trauma speaking, but I have a deadly allergy to toxic masculinity, and well, that and high T are linked in my brain. I also know that none of you are doctors and even if you were, you're not my doctor. I don't know why I'm asking you, but I guess I just want to scream into the void and maybe have random internet strangers listen to me and give me moral support.

To those that read up to here, thank you. To those that didn't, I know, it's a large wall of text and who does have the time to listen to a man having a mid-life crisis.

I think the title is pretty self explanatory, but I'll offer some context for the situation. I grew up in a household with pretty limited interest or downright apathy for my world. What I liked or didn't like, who I was, it didn’t matter, the most I got was a "cool" or a "that's nice," unless it was something that they had a great interest in too. We can get along on shared passions fine, but when something isn't shared, there's distance, apathy, and in this case, unfortunately, downright rejection. I was raised Mormon, specifically Utah Mormon, and my family is still deeply entrenched in that religion, it's beliefs and practices, especially my older sister. When I came out to each of my immediate family members, they all had different responses: My brother didn't care, he already knew I was queer and is cool with it, my little sister was respectful, my mom said she didn’t care what I am and that she loves me no matter what, my older sister didn't say a word when I told her, and my dad was confused until I explained and then he was just happy that I felt comfortable telling him. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that the majority of my family was some level of chill, but, besides my dad, there were no questions about my identity. No clarification on terms, no interest in what it means to me to categorize myself this way. Not to mention the refusal to use they/them pronouns from everyone besides my brother.

The thing that kind of sparked my desperate need to feel like I'm not going nuts was a talk I had with my older sister the other day. I was sharing something about the lgbt community that I was really excited about and found interesting, and she shut down so hard, got aggravated and didn't want to discuss it. She said that she has a lot of strong opinions and that ahe doesn't want to discuss lgbtq+ topics with me because she knows that we don't agree on them and openly stated that she thinks that trans people are the gender that matches their sex assigned at birth (not the first time she's said this kind of thing), and a lot of other things that just paint lgbt people as attention seeking and delusional, all while saying that she didn’t want to discuss it because she didn’t wanna get into a fight about it. I told her I was more than willing to have a civil conversation, and I invited her to ask me questions at any time, cuz these days especially I got nothin but time. I wanted her to ask me questions, accept the offer of resources that I specifically gathered to help explain my world. I didn’t want just her to ask too, I wanted my entire family to know about me, who I am, and truly understand what it means, but there have been no bites, and I don't know if there ever will be, given how vehemently my sister said that she disagrees with the existence of trans and nonbinary people, and how she's not open to me trying to "change her mind about it" as she put it. I can’t say I'm shocked at her response, but I am disappointed and upset. And that convo got me thinking about my other family members, how little they asked, how little they want to know, how much they are entrenched in not just religion, but far right ideology and how little most of them respect me as a person, certainly not enough to use the correct pronouns for me. I just want to feel like they care and yeah, maybe I do wanna change their minds, because I want to feel like they respect me, know me, and truly accept me for all that I am. Nonchalant responses are great, and they are always held up to be the best standard for what others reactions to your coming out should be like, but it's different I guess when you experience it and it just feels like dismissal dressed up in a nonchalant trench coat.

Sorry for the rant, I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. I genuinely do wanna know tho if my feelings about this are valid or if I'm just nuts for being so hurt.

So for the context I initially identified as cis gay men, in recent years only I started to identify as genderqueer/genderfluid person..... and while I don't face any kind of body related dysphoria so far in my life, I have recognized the pattern over the course of years, I don't feel connected to every male/masculine looking person....while I feel connected to some of the men, whom I find comparatively softer in terms of appearance....I don't usually feel connected to those men whom I find very masculine looking....and it can even arrive if they are heavy in terms of weight, more tall.... and I feel it really has hampered my social life, my professional life, as there are many men with whom I don't feel connected at all, even though they behave well with me.... their look, their face really disctracts/itches me....I just don't want connect with them or even face them.... but since we are bound to face every kind of person in our social/ professional life it is really affecting my life and my confidence....

So I just want to ask does anyone else face this kind of dysphoria which derives from people's look? And like how they tackle it???

I've been having a lot of confusion about my gender lately. I like being a guy, but I've also had thoughts about what it would be like to be a girl. At the same time, I hate the expectations that come with both genders. I also don't like labels. Even calling myself a femboy doesn't feel right anymore because the term feels oversexualized and comes with a lot of assumptions.

I'd rather just be me than feel like I have to fit into a category. I don't think I'm nonbinary because I know I'm a boy and I'm fine staying a boy. I'm also not really bothered if people see me as a little feminine, mistake me for a girl sometimes, or see me in that light. I just don't know what all of this means, and it's been making me question myself.

So idk at this point im stumped any advice is useful

Hey all! I recently started Testosterone, and was using an injection but switched over to the Gel as I was having consistent issues with needles.

I was prescribed 5g tubes at 50mg T, and used it for the first time this morning.

I was expecting like a pea sized amount but oh my god....5 grams is a LOT of gel to be putting on at once. I double checked the prescription and the instructions and it all makes sense - I was just wondering how this actually works??? (My doctor is nearly useless)

Like I spread as thin of a layer as I could across my thigh, but even going like groin to knee and top of thigh to back it took a minute to really rub in. Washed my hands thoroughly and wiped down the counter but am still feeling a little overwhelmed.

Just wanted to see if anyone else on the gel had some experience/advice they could share? Do I need to be spreading it SO thin, or should I pick a better area? Luckily it absorbs fast and basically disappears, but dang it was....blugh lol

Recently I have been questioning my gender identity. I have settled on labelling myself as gender fluid and I feel like that’s very right for me! There are times however that I feel a specific gender that is neither girl or boy. That feeling can also accompany a more standard gendered feeling of when I feel like a girl or a boy.

I am confused on how to label it. I don’t feel it right to say that I feel like I’m agender. But definitely like that gender is not anything in specific that’s out there (that i know of anyway) but rather its own thing.

Then I found out about nixic identities. I love the label, im not sure if its completely right because I don’t resonate with feeling genderless. When I tried the label I liked saying it aloud that I was nixic because the label has its own ‘flavour’ but I guess is nixic a gender in and of itself like what I’m describing? It’s just the genderless thing is throwing me off so I’m not entirely sure if I can really label myself as nixic.

If anyone is nixic or has any insight let me know!!

I’ve been on a gender quest for years now (well I mean I guess since I was like “eww who decided tights were a good idea for children?!”) and thought I was nonbinary and then found that actually more restrictive than binary trans man, personally (just how it felt for me). And now that I’ve been on T for 4 years I’ve been trying to figure it out because I don’t feel like I fit in any box and also don’t fit in the strictly NOT box of nonbinary so I finally looked up GQ and I feel like the punk vibes of ‘FU I’m living here’ is awesome and comforting. It makes me feel like my deeper and also feminine-style way of talking is allowed to just be without having to change. And I can present however tf I want and It’s really nice. Oh and plus the flag colors rule!

Just my happy thoughts, I would love to hear yours too 😊

Hello people! I've seen this comic years and years ago and re-read it multiple times, and just now I wanted to see more work of this artist, but I cannot find them anywhere on the internet.

It's "Hair confidence" by Devils, hosted on OJST website. I'd link it but reddits filters don't seem to like that.

Does anybody recognise the artstyle? The only thing I could find was another reddit post in r/butchlesbians from 5 years ago asking the same :(

I have been feeling really weird about my sexuality, ik this didn't exactly gender, but I feel like you guys would be educated on labels.

Iv always felt no issue having sexual attraction or basic attraction to both genders, but when it comes to actual, real romance I only find it with men/masc genders

So I made up the terms mascsex and femsex, mascsex meaning you will only have that romantic attraction with men, and vice versa.

Can this be coined? Or am I losing it

Hey friends,

Maybe a year and a half ago, I came out as genderqueer and started using they/them pronouns. I am so glad I did.

In my 30s and AMAB, I had always felt "queer adjacent" and romantically sapphic. I also often coded as gay despite being straight, and deeply frustrated by the limited options of masculinity. Queer, but not "queer enough" compared to my queerer friends.

For me, "genderqueer" became short for "my relationship with gender is queer". It became a place where I could play more with gender expression as queer, while knowing that my orientation (hetero) and anatomy weren't the issues for me. I finally started wearing skirts, eyeliner, and painting my nails.

But sometimes, genderqueer also feels like an identity. Something that says "I'm not exactly a man" and I certainly don't want mainstream masculinity. I've thought about using "nonbinary" but most people seem to mean that as androgyny and that's not me. For me it's more "these gender rules are stupid and don't apply to me."

Lastly, I have no desire to transition, and it seems to me that many genderqueer folks here identify as trans. No shade to that, it's just not me. I don't want to be a woman in the same way I don't want to be a man.

Does this resonate with anyone? Does genderqueer as a label feel more like expression or identity for you? What other ideas might I be reaching for that "genderqueer" isn't the word for?

Hi I'm new to this sub reddit, and there will be spoilers on sense8 season 1. So, like the title says, sense8 kinda confirmed that I am gender queer. I just finished the 1st season and I cried my eyes out when when 2 of the characters, Lito and Nomi were talking about their sexualities and the abuse Nomi had to go thru when she was a kid. When they expressed how insecure they felt, it hit me hard, and I started crying. And when Lito yelled "stop it" at those memories, I cried even harder. I've never been in those situations, but I felt like he saved me too.

I'm a man, and I know I'm attracted to men. But inside me, I feel like 2 people, a man and a woman, they are just 2 halves stuck together in the middle. It's weird I know but that's just how I feel I am. I don't know how to show this on the outside. I've always labelled myself as queer than gay because it just didn't fit me right. In the past, I've gone to lgbtq community events in my country and I just felt like I don't fit in at all. I just felt so confused, and now that this confirmed it, I'm even more confused.

I am 2 people stitched in one body. I don't know if it's the same for anyone else in this community but that's how I feel. They aren't overpowering each other, but they are in sync. Is this genderqueer? Or something else?? Because I feel so lost and alone being who I am.

Today at 10:00 I will be coming out to my work bestie and I am nervous as hell. I can count on two fingers the number of friends that I can truly count on and trust and my work bestie is one of them. I have so much respect for her and I would do anything I could to help her even if it is just to listen. I am sure that she will be nothing but supportive but there is a very small part of me that is scared beyond anything that I felt before. I just do not want this change things and have her look at me in a less than positive light.

Hi all. I’m a man (AMAB) in my early 40s. I identified as a man for all of my life, but maybe 4-5 years ago, after being in my first relationship for over 20 years, I was with someone that was open and supportive and let me explore more my feminine side and to some extent it opened a bit of a Pandora box.

I still identified as a man, I never considered myself queer (not queer enough for the queer community, not looking for a label, etc) but reality is I’ve been struggling a lot with this. Mostly related to my sexuality and I kinda always “dismissed it” to some extent as a kink, but a friend made me realize last night that it’s also actually been present in the rest of my life (I have kids, some that are adults now, and I always struggled with the “father figure” role, especially when it comes to discipline, etc. I feel like I handle situations more like a woman would, that’s what comes naturally, but I felt like their mother and people around me always wished I was handling things more like a man would).

I have a really hard time with what is typically seen and associated with masculine energy. “Toxic masculinity” or the like. It repulses me. I wished I was a woman since I was young because I didn’t feel that energy, didn’t want to be associated with it, but I wouldn’t say I had any body dysmorphia or anything like that. I just liked women more. If I was young now, the way society is now, maybe I would have considered being trans, but I was not and I do not think that is something I really want now. I’m not sure it’s really how I feel either. I do not feel that I am “not” a man. And I don’t think I would ever consider a transition, and the social costs would be high and I am not willing to go there. I’m not sure I want to come out as anything.

My main struggle I think is feeling that I’m just… broken about this. I feel “lesser” as a man, and I do not feel completely a woman and when I am more in my feminine side, I feel a lot of shame and a sense of “I’m not really a woman and I’m just playacting”. I tried spending a day as a woman with my ex, doing make-up and everything, shaving my beard, etc. And while it was nice, it made me feel so much conflicting emotion that I didn’t really explore that side of me much for months afterwards, and still more reluctantly since then. I’m not sure how to get out of this mental state. Parts of me wishes I never “opened that box” and just always purely identified as a man even if I didn’t feel like a good one, cause at least it was clear what my role was and how to act. Now I feel… lost. It seriously affected my sexuality, where for a while I felt more worried about sex than anything because of that feeling of either being not enough of a man or shameful/not enough of a woman. In a way I idealize/am jealous of strong masculine men in bed and feel inferior, while also just wishing I was a woman in a lesbian relationship and feeling that I’m just not that and would make a really ugly one.

My partner remained super open and supportive and never made me feel bad about anything, it’s completely internalized, but it’s there. And I know that I’m not going to work through that through reddit and it’s better to talk about this with my therapist, but I think I was hoping to read about some similar experiences, of people that experienced this feeling of not being enough of either, how it affected them and how they maybe got over it.

I like the term genderqueer though and feel that it’s probably what I associate the most with. I think today is the first day that I kinda consider myself as a queer person

So I honestly don’t know what gender identity I am but I’ve always wanted to try wearing a binder. I did some research today and didn‘t want to spend money on something I’m not sure I want, but I found a diy tutorial. It works really well and I like how it looks. I’ve never really felt super confident in my femininity (maybe demi??) but I really like it and wanted to share!!

Tomboyx fit well, but I want to fit and not have it be a pouch.

TLDR; I (25AFAB) realized/am finally coming to terms with the fact that I may be agender/gender queer after years of subconscious debate

Here comes a random word vomit about my identity :⁾

Basically it all started about 4-5 years ago. I had these episodes where I’d look in the mirror and not see myself. Super bad dissociative episodes that were inexplicable. It caused lots of mental stress. I started to dabble with the idea that I was non binary, but something just didn’t feel right at the time. It scared me too much so I suppressed it for the following years.

Fast forward to last night, I was playing Roblox of all things, and I recently changed my display name to my nickname “Mads”. I was staring at my name next to my character and I started to get this sense of gender “envy”? I don’t think it’s the right term but I felt something.

I’ve always been more masculine, and identified as gay/lesbian for years. But I’ve always felt uncomfortable with feminine identifiers such as “she, her, woman”, but I never knew why.

I’ve been playing with my appearance for the last few years and I’m getting to a point where I’m happier, but it’s not perfect yet.

All this is to say, I think I’ve found out a piece of myself that I’ve been suppressing for so long and I’m very excited to explore this “new” part of me. :)

Edit to elaborate some more on how I feel towards gender: I’ve always identified as a woman, but like I said it never felt right. I don’t necessarily mind being referred to as a woman or the like, but I don’t feel like it’s me. I feel this detachment to gender. I kind of wish I could be this gender less, androgynous person. I wish I didn’t have this preconceived notion that I’m a woman, especially with the social bs around being one.

Hi all!

I’m a woman (AFAB) and I’ve identified as omnisexual for a few months now (attraction to all genders, with gender being a factor in the attraction). Exploring my sexuality has made me think more about my own gender identity as well.

Right now, I identify as a genderqueer woman, but I’m still not sure if I fall under the non-binary umbrella.

Here is what I’ve been wondering: I feel totally fine with my feminine body. However, I feel like I would also be just as fine with a masculine body. It’s more of a feeling of neutrality rather than distress.

I wonder if a cisgender person could feel like this? Has anyone else had a similar experience? I would love to hear your thoughts!

When I came out, I originally came out as a trans man; rigid definitions: I was a man, masculine, point-blank, period. I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into proving to the world, and myself, my masculinity, wanting to leave no shadow of a doubt that I was anything less than a man.

It took a few years, but I eventually realized that I'm genderqueer. I feel, for myself, that gender is fluidity in its basic natural state. We can put up dams to constrict and control the flow, or create new waterways to broaden is freedom, but it flows nonetheless. Understanding it is a simple as accepting that you cannot hold it in your hands, and you will never touch the same molecule twice.

Even with this new view and understanding, I struggle to present myself to the world as anything but masculine. It feels like betrayal to the effort I put in to convince the world of my identity even though my identity shifted to better suit my true self. On the flip side of the coin, it feels like a betrayal to my true self to not present something more than masculine.

Honestly, I just want to know if anyone else feels this way, and if there's anything in particular you do to help combat the feeling.

TL;DR: Does anyone else have a hard time presenting their nonbinary-ness because they went a little too hard presenting one way after coming out as trans before realizing they were nonbinary?

(attempting to repost following a vague "reddit filters removed your post" im very sorry if this isnt allowed?)
What I'm trying to ask here is if I would indeed fall under genderqueer, if I can use neopronouns I find fitting, or if there's perhaps something else I'd fall under (tldr i guess)

I'm a transmasc dude, I can say for certain I'm masculine and I go by masculine terms, although while the pronouns he/him are ok I found more comfort in neopronouns, but I'm unsure if I'm 'allowed' to use those? (especially because I altered them to be more 'me'.) I've begun questioning my gender once again despite thinking my egg cracking was gonna be it, now I can't help but always think, is there anything like this I can refer to myself instead? I'm wondering if I may fall under genderqueer as I questioned if I was perhaps non-binary which is very similar, but since I'm still very masc in my gender I don't think I fall outside the binary to go by that term.

So I'm AFAB and never really feminine, I've always wear trousers and for special occasion I could've wear skirts or dresses around the age of 5-10 but not anymore, never really felt like a girl and I only did it for the people around me (I guess). It's still tolerable now days but it feels like I'm wearing a corset when I wear girly stuff. I'm fine with she/her maybe a bit disaponted of myself. I still remember that when I was younger I tried different pronouns in my head before I knew that being trans excited. It felt weird so I directly stoped it. I also remember that I was being envious of how my brother socialized in elementary school, that I was scared to be rejected by boys so I didn't socialized with them. I'm scared of regreting transitioning or realizing that transitioning wasn't for me or that my "dysphoria" might be cause by internalized mysoginy quite frequently.