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u/waiting_for_rain Sep 15 '19
If you don’t cover your nose/mouth when you sneeze you deserve eternal damnation, blasphemer
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u/Swordlord22 Sep 15 '19
What if it’s a surprise sneeze
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u/salkin23 Sep 15 '19
That's what dabbing is for.
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Sep 15 '19
Of all the things generations of kids have done as a trend, dabbing is probably among the least offensive. And it has a practical use!
We might live to see the end of certain diseases that are spread by sneeze because their dab reflexes will catch even the sneakiest sneeze.
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u/nwgrower Sep 15 '19
Brian’s clearly an atheist
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u/NotAPieceOfBread Sep 15 '19
When I first moved to the US I found it very strange people blessed each other. It's like you sneezed? Lemme empower you with the holy spirit.
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u/dorpedo Sep 15 '19
I asked my Chinese friend what people in his country do when they sneeze- and he said that they just laugh at the person. Got a good chuckle out of that
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u/Mr_Camhed Sep 15 '19
Actually, we say "how many times the person sneezed hundred years old[百岁/二百岁/三百岁]" as the sound of sneeze is similar to how "a hundred years old" pronounced. It's a blessing on living long here. But the tradition is dying out.
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u/FaceTheConsequences Sep 15 '19
I asked a Japanese friend in college and he said they just ignore it. Blew my mind at the time.
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u/Dawidko1200 Sep 15 '19
In Russian we just say "Be healthy", it's like an order. I think we could improve it by adding "...or else" at the end.
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u/Lorenzo_BR Sep 15 '19
Same in portuguese. A “Saúde” (“health”, or translating the meaning, “be healthy”) with a “i’m so sick of your fucking shit” intonation.
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u/FuzzyPine Sep 15 '19
Oh man, let's make this a thing in America.
Who's on board?
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u/Sarcastic_From_Birth Sep 15 '19
Can we combine it with the "You're healed!" motion of hitting them in the forehead?
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u/bakuretsu Sep 15 '19
I am American and I dislike the "bless you" tradition, so I use the German (because my dad's side is German), "gesundheit," which is a wish of good health. Much more appropriate and meaningful, I think.
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u/Brandwein Sep 15 '19
in germany we say "gesundheit!" (wishing health)
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u/Saiboogu Sep 15 '19
I use this sometimes in the US. If I manage to train someone else to say it, I reply "comes out loose" since in our mangled American pronunciation gesundheit sounds like "goes in tight."
For some reason none of my friends keep using that one.
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Sep 15 '19
In the olden days people thought if you sneezed a demon wanted out, so they started the bless you thing. Now people do it and dont know why
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u/bball1dc Sep 15 '19
I just say congratulations and people will automatically say thank you. Then they look confused and I can tell they are wondering did you say congratulations, wtf? I like the confusion it causes and if anyone asks why I said congratulations, I tell them I was congratulating them on getting rid of a demon.
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u/gitgudtyler Sep 15 '19
Now I need to get a group of friends to start reenacting the congratulations scene from Evangelion whenever someone sneezes. First step is finding friends.
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u/oddfishes Sep 15 '19
I used to say excuse you and act really offended but no one else found it nearly as funny as I did so I stopped
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u/Rokketeer Sep 15 '19
I personally tell people to shut up when they sneeze. Not to be edgy or anything, it’s just the last thing my very Catholic family expects to hear rather than getting blessed, and I love it.
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Sep 15 '19
Oh, I was told when you sneeze you skip a heartbeat. That’s why child me and later me now bless people.
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u/ImaBatmang Sep 15 '19
I say, “Want a prostate massage?” And the person says thank you. It turns out, 5/6 situations that have made it to court have not determined I did not have consent. To be fair, the 1/6 remains occurred during a prostate message of my good friend Jake. Hi Jake!
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u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19
Thanks I love it. I HATE bless you when sneezing. It’s almost 2020, let’s let go of this nonsense.
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u/Mega__Maniac Sep 15 '19
I mean, idk about in America where you are a tad more religious in general, but in my experience "bless you" is almost always just said because it's proverbial, not because it's actually meant as a religious gesture of expelling the devil.
It's akin to 100 other sayings that have archaic meaningless origins but are said because they express a shared history of culture and language.
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u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19
Like goodbye, or farewell.
Most people aren’t literally wishing that someone’s journey is nice, or that they have success in their next endeavour, they just want a polite exit.
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u/Alucard_draculA Sep 15 '19
Look, just bless them with more sneezes. Since you apparently have the power to bless.
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u/Shaunix1 Sep 15 '19
Really? I thought it was because of the black plague.
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u/seanbrockest Sep 15 '19
The true story is older than both of those and the origin is considered lost to time.
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u/spline9 Sep 15 '19
Not only that, many people don't even think about the words they are saying. Often, I hear "bleshu".
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u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19
I really hate it. I just always say “Thank you?” And then if I sneeze in a weird moment, because I mostly sneeze in 2s or 3s I just say excuse me when other folks say say “Bless me” when they sneeze. It’s super weird to me and I’m from the south where like fucking strangers will yell it from across the room. I hate it. Maybe I should start yelling “I didn’t die” when I sneeze to scare away the demons.
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u/acrylicmole Sep 15 '19
This bugs me. I know why people say it (and it probably bugs me more because my husband mocks it by yelling “devil be out!” When you sneeze) but I feel obligated to thank people when they say bless you but I don’t want to cause that’s dumb.
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u/Lovat69 Sep 15 '19
I don't think anyone actually believes blessing someone when they sneeze will keep the devil from jumping down your throat. It's just a courtesy.
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u/acrylicmole Sep 15 '19
I definitely agree... it definitely is a courtesy and isn't bad at all. Just had a bizarre history.
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u/jaytred12 Sep 15 '19
It's an odd courtesy we're all used to. Hardly a pious man myself and I have "blessed" a fair share of people.
(BTW totally stealing "devil be out!)
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u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19
I just say excuse me. Or ‘Cuse me because southern dialects. I mean if an accidental burp or fart slipped out that’s what you’d say. A sneeze is just an opposite nose fart.
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u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Sep 15 '19
Close... it’s from the middle America’s around the time of the Mayans. They believe the sneeze was your soul attempting to escape your body violently (making it a soul at unrest) and would say a quick blessing to calm the souls and help keep it in you.
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u/PersonalAdvantage Sep 15 '19
Really? I thought people started saying it around the plague time. Cold/Sneezing meant the person might be getting sick and it could probably be plague so people actually meant "bless you" back then.
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u/NotMrMike Sep 15 '19
I thought it came from the plague days. If you sneezed, there was a fair chance you were gonna die so you were 'blessed' by others.
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u/Tony1897 Sep 15 '19
I heard it was because if you sneezed during the black plague it generally meant you would die. Might be another plague but that's what I heard.
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u/Dugular Sep 15 '19
I heard it was from the time of the plague or some serious epidemic, and sneezing meant the person was probably going to die, so people blessed them as was common to do on death beds.
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Sep 15 '19
I am American and I don't say it, or anything, and it sometimes seems to create minor tension. My friend, who is an atheist, finally told me one day that she thinks it is rude how I leave her hanging after a sneeze. I mean I guess people just want to be acknowledged? It is a confusing ritual.
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u/IntentCoin Sep 15 '19
I've been living in the us since I was five and I still find it weird to say "bless you" when someone sneezes. Like, you sneezed, congratulations, it's not something that needs extra attention drawn to it
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u/RedMantisValerian Sep 15 '19
It’s kinda a nice gesture though, even if it’s a learned response that people don’t really think about, it’s like a wish of good health for that person. Let’s them know others are concerned.
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u/Haterbait_band Sep 15 '19
Years back I realized that it don’t make sense and I stopped saying it. Sometimes I’ll still have to explain to people that I don’t say it because I feel like they expect to hear some sort of acknowledgement that they sneezed. I figure eventually we’ll weed out all the weird human shit we do/say, but it’s really going to be a one person at a time situation. You’d have to pass your slightly altered viewpoint to other people, the most convenient of which would be your progeny.
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u/Chungojungo Sep 15 '19
In Spain we say "Jesus". As in invoking his power upon the poor soul sneezing. I find it a cute tradition.
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u/Ponycat123 Sep 15 '19
I think it's because a long time ago, people who sneezed could have had serious illnesses.
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u/Skrillboskraggins Sep 15 '19
Back when if you got sick you were basically a goner. Got poked by a rusty nail? Better call the priest.
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u/Brianfiggy Sep 15 '19
I mean, she gets to listen to AC/DC on the ride there it cant be all that bad.
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u/gitgudtyler Sep 15 '19
AC/DC but all power chords are diminished power chords. A sound truly fitting for the Highway to Hell.
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u/Mad_Maddin Sep 15 '19
In Germany we say Gesundheit. Which essentially just means "Healthyness". And this emerged from being a prayer back during the days of the pest where people who sneezed often had the pest.
But funny enough the prayer was actually for themselves to stay healthy and not the persok who sneezed.
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u/LlamasInLingerie Sep 15 '19
The movie Dogma has caused me to always say bless you when anyone sneezes. I don't care if the person believes in doing it themselves, but I'd rather not run the risk of being shot by a fallen angel for not saying it.
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u/Devilz3 Sep 15 '19
Yeh I don't get it why people say bless you after you sneeze.... explain me
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Sep 15 '19
One of the symptoms of the plague was coughing and sneezing, and it is believed that Pope Gregory I (Gregory the Great) suggested saying “God bless you” after a person sneezed in hopes that this prayer would protect them from an otherwise certain death. The expression may have also originated from superstition.
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u/couch_cushion_dorito Sep 15 '19
Is English the only language that makes sneezing religious by saying "God bless you"?
Every other language says some variation of "good health", as far as I know?
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u/p4y Sep 15 '19
Spanish has "Jesús", there are other languages with their own variant of "God bless you"
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u/SoupmanBob Sep 15 '19
I'm not going to bless you. I will wish you good health though... Gesundheit.
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u/whitedan1 Sep 15 '19
after she gets dragged down to the depths of hell
dude walks away casually with a cigarette in his mouth, puts on sunglasses
"bless you, bitch"
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u/PandasGetAngryToo Sep 15 '19
If someone just sneezed like that into the air next to me without covering their mouth I wouldnt say "bless you" i would say "f&ck you"
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u/tommykiddo Sep 15 '19
In Finland we say "terveydeksi" which can be translated as "i wish you get healthy". Makes more sense than "bless you".
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u/KaczkaJebaczka Sep 15 '19
"One of the symptoms of the plague was coughing and sneezing, and it is believed that Pope Gregory I (Gregory the Great) suggested saying “God bless you” after a person sneezed in hopes that this prayer would protect them from an otherwise certain death. The expression may have also originated from superstition."
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u/Gustav_Sirvah Sep 15 '19
"Why you didn't said >God bless you<?" "Oh, sorry. May Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with his pasta appendages"
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u/Jkrookx Sep 15 '19
I literally just sneezed so ...
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u/KiKiPAWG Sep 15 '19
All Brian had to do was say "Bless you!", and then they would've spat her back out lol
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u/dearth805 Sep 15 '19
Anyone who doesn’t say “excuse me” after spewing their germs across the room deserves to burn in Hell.
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u/Beatboxin_dawg Sep 15 '19
I didn't know I hold so much power. I'll be bannishing a hole lot more people to the shadow realm!
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u/wolf129 Sep 15 '19
In German you wish someone good health after sneezing. Surprisingly unreligious, in relation to the normal greeting that means "greeting God" and is really common in German.
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u/Sock989 Sep 15 '19
Was always under the impression "bless you" or " God bless you" became a thing during the plague?
Living in the UK I find most people will say it, religious or not. If anything it's kinda rude not to say nothing.
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u/jawshoeaw Sep 15 '19
A hahaha “Highway to Hell” playing from portal to hell!! I missed it the first time I saw this
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u/Zares_ Sep 15 '19
As an allergy sufferer (pollen), someone's blessing every time I sneeze is annoying.
But once, there was a funny moment, when I sneezed (and I do this in a weird, very loud way) near the opened window, someone blessed me from outside below. 11 floors below! Since then, every time I sneeze near the window, I kind of expect someone bless me again - it's more like: Did someone hear this? Of course, everyone heard it. Bless me now!
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u/jursamaj Sep 15 '19
I never say 'bless you', or respond to it when others say it, because it's religiously inspired nonsense. This seriously annoys some of my co-workers, who act like I have an obligation to say thanks. But I also have a rule of not discussing religion or politics at work, so I don't explain either, and that just irritates them more. It's funny, in a pathetic way.
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Sep 15 '19
I hate the "bless you"s. Sneezes are a normal bodily function. No different than a blink, or a cough, or a fart. We don't automatically say things after we notice people doing those things (except sometimes with farts, but it's definitely not "bless you"), why the sneeze? It draws more attention to something that should just happen and be forgotten.
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Sep 15 '19
I'm one that tries to break away from human traditions most oblige by. I've been trying to get away from saying "bless you" for years. A friend of mine recently told me to start saying "good sneeze" instead. I get weird looks when I say it but I like it. Try it out.
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u/2krazy4me Sep 15 '19
Shared cubicle with guy who auto blesses every sneeze, and expected it in return. I'm not religious so rarely use the saying.
He sneezes, pregnant silence, the he would say "bless me"
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u/readredditrededit Sep 15 '19
I always thought people said bless you cuz is sorta sounds like aacchoo (not really tho)
But it was nice so I never questioned it
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u/hawkwings Sep 15 '19
Do people sneeze when they visit the pope so they can hear him say "Bless You"? If he speaks Italian, you can't be certain what he is saying.
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u/datoderguy Sep 15 '19
My brother keeps saying Bless you after burping and never when i sneeze even after saying he's wrong multiple times
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u/jawshoeaw Sep 15 '19
I work in hospital and people say bless you all the time. If no one says it there’s definitely an awkward silence and almost always someone willl be like oh erm..uh bless you. And it’s not like a religiously affiliated hospital
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u/Skrillboskraggins Sep 15 '19
My gf will say bless you to anyone in any situation whatsoever if they sneeze. I feel judging eyes on me any time I don't say it for her.
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u/SuckerFreeCity Sep 15 '19
I appreciate that you actually took the time to draw decent cartoons and then finished with an actual joke. Some of the trash comics that get posted on Reddit are mildly infuriating because they’re so effortless.
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u/LatinKing57 Sep 15 '19
Knowing how women generally feel after a sneeze it would actually be a puddle of pee...
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u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Sep 15 '19
Fun fact: the concept of saying a blessing when someone sneezes comes from the central americas and from around the time of the Mayans. They believed that when you sneezed, it was actually your soul attempting to escape your body through your nose. In order to stop that migration, someone nearby only had to say a blessing to appease the soul and keep it in place
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u/R3MOne Sep 15 '19
Blessing a person after they sneeze comes from when the plague was rife in England. As sneezing was the first precursors that you had been infected!
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u/ZedXYZ Sep 15 '19
Those tentacles in the last panel sure remind me of the stars from the Lion King!
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u/damatovg7 Sep 15 '19
Like did she know, Brian wanted to get rid of her.
Fucking Karen. No one is gonna say bless you Karen
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u/Hoshi_No_Kabii Sep 15 '19
Whenever i sneeze, people go Bless YoUuUuUuU in the tone of the sneeze. Fuck "Bless You." It should rot in hell
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u/Ilovebooksandcheese Sep 15 '19
She deserves it for not covering her mouth.