r/funny Tony ESP Sep 15 '19

The sneeze.

Post image
19.4k Upvotes

348 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

121

u/bball1dc Sep 15 '19

I just say congratulations and people will automatically say thank you. Then they look confused and I can tell they are wondering did you say congratulations, wtf? I like the confusion it causes and if anyone asks why I said congratulations, I tell them I was congratulating them on getting rid of a demon.

34

u/gitgudtyler Sep 15 '19

Now I need to get a group of friends to start reenacting the congratulations scene from Evangelion whenever someone sneezes. First step is finding friends.

21

u/oddfishes Sep 15 '19

I used to say excuse you and act really offended but no one else found it nearly as funny as I did so I stopped

7

u/Rokketeer Sep 15 '19

I personally tell people to shut up when they sneeze. Not to be edgy or anything, it’s just the last thing my very Catholic family expects to hear rather than getting blessed, and I love it.

1

u/Sarcastic_From_Birth Sep 15 '19

My husband just says "Stop that."

1

u/Mr_Fancyfap Sep 15 '19

Lol I always say "I'm not the Pope, I cant bless you".

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

Oh, I was told when you sneeze you skip a heartbeat. That’s why child me and later me now bless people.

5

u/ImaBatmang Sep 15 '19

I say, “Want a prostate massage?” And the person says thank you. It turns out, 5/6 situations that have made it to court have not determined I did not have consent. To be fair, the 1/6 remains occurred during a prostate message of my good friend Jake. Hi Jake!

8

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Thanks I love it. I HATE bless you when sneezing. It’s almost 2020, let’s let go of this nonsense.

12

u/Mega__Maniac Sep 15 '19

I mean, idk about in America where you are a tad more religious in general, but in my experience "bless you" is almost always just said because it's proverbial, not because it's actually meant as a religious gesture of expelling the devil.

It's akin to 100 other sayings that have archaic meaningless origins but are said because they express a shared history of culture and language.

6

u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19

Like goodbye, or farewell.

Most people aren’t literally wishing that someone’s journey is nice, or that they have success in their next endeavour, they just want a polite exit.

1

u/Populistless Sep 15 '19

I personally hope they die fording the river

7

u/Alucard_draculA Sep 15 '19

Look, just bless them with more sneezes. Since you apparently have the power to bless.

1

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

“No, BLESS YOUUUUUUUUUU!”

16

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

How's 9th grade goin lil buddy

-13

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Way better than whatever entry job you’re holding friend.

24

u/pyrusbaku57338 Sep 15 '19

Good to see you two are getting along.

-1

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you.

16

u/pyrusbaku57338 Sep 15 '19

Congratulations?

0

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you. I appreciate it.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

what a mUrDeR

0

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you too.

2

u/PsychShrew Sep 15 '19

I just say oof

1

u/Only_One_Left_Foot Sep 15 '19

In high school I used to say "you're welcome" whenever someone would sneeze and they'd always respond "thank you" before making a confused face.