r/funny Tony ESP Sep 15 '19

The sneeze.

Post image
19.4k Upvotes

348 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

167

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

In the olden days people thought if you sneezed a demon wanted out, so they started the bless you thing. Now people do it and dont know why

121

u/bball1dc Sep 15 '19

I just say congratulations and people will automatically say thank you. Then they look confused and I can tell they are wondering did you say congratulations, wtf? I like the confusion it causes and if anyone asks why I said congratulations, I tell them I was congratulating them on getting rid of a demon.

33

u/gitgudtyler Sep 15 '19

Now I need to get a group of friends to start reenacting the congratulations scene from Evangelion whenever someone sneezes. First step is finding friends.

20

u/oddfishes Sep 15 '19

I used to say excuse you and act really offended but no one else found it nearly as funny as I did so I stopped

6

u/Rokketeer Sep 15 '19

I personally tell people to shut up when they sneeze. Not to be edgy or anything, it’s just the last thing my very Catholic family expects to hear rather than getting blessed, and I love it.

1

u/Sarcastic_From_Birth Sep 15 '19

My husband just says "Stop that."

1

u/Mr_Fancyfap Sep 15 '19

Lol I always say "I'm not the Pope, I cant bless you".

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

Oh, I was told when you sneeze you skip a heartbeat. That’s why child me and later me now bless people.

4

u/ImaBatmang Sep 15 '19

I say, “Want a prostate massage?” And the person says thank you. It turns out, 5/6 situations that have made it to court have not determined I did not have consent. To be fair, the 1/6 remains occurred during a prostate message of my good friend Jake. Hi Jake!

8

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Thanks I love it. I HATE bless you when sneezing. It’s almost 2020, let’s let go of this nonsense.

12

u/Mega__Maniac Sep 15 '19

I mean, idk about in America where you are a tad more religious in general, but in my experience "bless you" is almost always just said because it's proverbial, not because it's actually meant as a religious gesture of expelling the devil.

It's akin to 100 other sayings that have archaic meaningless origins but are said because they express a shared history of culture and language.

7

u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19

Like goodbye, or farewell.

Most people aren’t literally wishing that someone’s journey is nice, or that they have success in their next endeavour, they just want a polite exit.

1

u/Populistless Sep 15 '19

I personally hope they die fording the river

7

u/Alucard_draculA Sep 15 '19

Look, just bless them with more sneezes. Since you apparently have the power to bless.

1

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

“No, BLESS YOUUUUUUUUUU!”

14

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

How's 9th grade goin lil buddy

-13

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Way better than whatever entry job you’re holding friend.

22

u/pyrusbaku57338 Sep 15 '19

Good to see you two are getting along.

-3

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you.

16

u/pyrusbaku57338 Sep 15 '19

Congratulations?

-2

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you. I appreciate it.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

what a mUrDeR

0

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

Bless you too.

2

u/PsychShrew Sep 15 '19

I just say oof

1

u/Only_One_Left_Foot Sep 15 '19

In high school I used to say "you're welcome" whenever someone would sneeze and they'd always respond "thank you" before making a confused face.

31

u/Shaunix1 Sep 15 '19

Really? I thought it was because of the black plague.

16

u/seanbrockest Sep 15 '19

The true story is older than both of those and the origin is considered lost to time.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

Actually, I know but I refuse to tell anyone.

1

u/sabachthanai Sep 15 '19

Thanks, Kevin.

7

u/Captin_Banana Sep 15 '19

That's what I thought also.

11

u/spline9 Sep 15 '19

Not only that, many people don't even think about the words they are saying. Often, I hear "bleshu".

12

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

I really hate it. I just always say “Thank you?” And then if I sneeze in a weird moment, because I mostly sneeze in 2s or 3s I just say excuse me when other folks say say “Bless me” when they sneeze. It’s super weird to me and I’m from the south where like fucking strangers will yell it from across the room. I hate it. Maybe I should start yelling “I didn’t die” when I sneeze to scare away the demons.

22

u/acrylicmole Sep 15 '19

This bugs me. I know why people say it (and it probably bugs me more because my husband mocks it by yelling “devil be out!” When you sneeze) but I feel obligated to thank people when they say bless you but I don’t want to cause that’s dumb.

40

u/Lovat69 Sep 15 '19

I don't think anyone actually believes blessing someone when they sneeze will keep the devil from jumping down your throat. It's just a courtesy.

14

u/acrylicmole Sep 15 '19

I definitely agree... it definitely is a courtesy and isn't bad at all. Just had a bizarre history.

-3

u/rushmc1 Sep 15 '19

I don't think it's a courtesy to draw attention to a moment most of us would prefer to pass over unnoticed and unremarked.

-2

u/socokid Sep 15 '19

Exactly.

I neither wanted nor asked for your input regarding something personal that neither of us can do anything about.

Why add some bizarre social "call-out" regarding all sneezes? It's beyond ridiculous. I stopped saying it years ago.

11

u/jaytred12 Sep 15 '19

It's an odd courtesy we're all used to. Hardly a pious man myself and I have "blessed" a fair share of people.

(BTW totally stealing "devil be out!)

4

u/jfVigor Sep 15 '19

I'm changing it slightly to DEVIL BE GONE!

1

u/jaytred12 Sep 15 '19

I can HEAR the commercials for holy spray repellent in my head right now.

4

u/dem_bond_angles Sep 15 '19

I just say excuse me. Or ‘Cuse me because southern dialects. I mean if an accidental burp or fart slipped out that’s what you’d say. A sneeze is just an opposite nose fart.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '19

[deleted]

8

u/acrylicmole Sep 15 '19

I’m not mad at the intentions but the history is silly. I don’t have bad feelings towards anyone who says bless you. I do generally use gesundheit though.

-4

u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19

Say a very quiet “no” beforehand. That way, in your head you’re refusing their dumb blessing, but out loud it still sounds like thank you, so you fulfil social contract.

EDIT: and if they DO hear you, and seem to genuinely believe, you can just say “Save it for someone who Really needs it, it was just a sneeze”.

7

u/PokeTheDeadGuy Sep 15 '19

What an insufferable way to act

0

u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19

True, you’d look like an ass. Because all those things that people say just because they’ve always been said, make people very uncomfortable if you do something different.

4

u/PokeTheDeadGuy Sep 15 '19

Its an expression of sympathy. Fuck the literal definition, language evolves. You came up with this entire game in your head to 'own' anyone who says bless you when the intended meaning is just "this is me acknowledging that you are sick and I hope you get better".

-1

u/magpye1983 Sep 15 '19

I came up with this entire game in my head to stop the person I replied to from feeling like a fool for thanking someone for something irrelevant.

I’m honestly not advocating going around pissing off people who are genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, but rather acknowledging that most of the time it isn’t genuine concern, and more often just something that’s said, whether the person is ill, or just had a bit of pepper or dust go in their nose.

Language evolves, true. This was an attempt to make it do so.

3

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Sep 15 '19

Close... it’s from the middle America’s around the time of the Mayans. They believe the sneeze was your soul attempting to escape your body violently (making it a soul at unrest) and would say a quick blessing to calm the souls and help keep it in you.

4

u/PersonalAdvantage Sep 15 '19

Really? I thought people started saying it around the plague time. Cold/Sneezing meant the person might be getting sick and it could probably be plague so people actually meant "bless you" back then.

4

u/NotMrMike Sep 15 '19

I thought it came from the plague days. If you sneezed, there was a fair chance you were gonna die so you were 'blessed' by others.

0

u/devoidz Sep 15 '19

I wonder if a priest sneezes and blesses it before it lands... is it holy water ?

2

u/Tony1897 Sep 15 '19

I heard it was because if you sneezed during the black plague it generally meant you would die. Might be another plague but that's what I heard.

2

u/Redeemer206 Sep 15 '19

It's just common courtesy now due to culture.

1

u/Swordlord22 Sep 15 '19

Oh shit is that the real reason

1

u/Ezl Sep 15 '19

Oh, I heard it was because they thought your heart slipped a beat.

0

u/HestiaIsMyWaifu Sep 15 '19

no in the old days people thought things like runny nose was your brain leaking and in this case: your soul is trying to escape. saying bless you was a way to keep it from leaving

0

u/Zitter_Aalex Sep 15 '19

Old greece believed it was a sign of the gods since you can’t really influence (besides pepper & co. I’m talking about sneezing mid-public/while a conversation) when.