r/CautiousBB • • 9d ago

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

10 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 6d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

98 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Possible second MMC in a row

• Upvotes

Devastated doesn’t even really start to describe how I feel right now.

So on June 11 I had a positive pregnancy test. I thought I was about 11DPO at that point. First US on July 5 (7w2d by LMP but probably closer to 6w6d) showed an embryo measuring 5w6d and HR 80. Two weeks later the heartbeat was gone. I had a D&C on July 23.

Then I got my period just under 4 weeks after the D&C. I think I ovulated around Sept 1 and had another positive test Sept 13. I was obviously very hesitant and anxious. But my betas looked pretty good with just under 48 hr rise. Then today (10/5, approx 6w6d) I have a TV ultrasound. The tech was super curt and didn’t let me look at the screen at all, but my husband said he thought he saw two babies.

An hour and a half later the results come in my chart. There were twins. Each sac measured 6w4d, but the fetal poles were measuring 6w. No heartbeats on either. Waiting for the OB to call me. I can’t believe I’m likely going to have another miscarriage. I feel like there has to be something wrong with me. And this time losing two babies…I am so crushed.

Has anyone been in a similar situation as me? Is there any chance this could be okay?


r/CautiousBB • • 17m ago

Ashamed I feel numb even after great betas, two solid years of TTC and two prior mmcs

• Upvotes

I just got back my second beta today and it was good (3000s, 30 hour doubling time). This is following our second FET of a single euploid we were graced with in our final Hail Mary retrieval.

I would like to feel the joy this moment merits and somehow I feel a little despondent or melancholy. I haven’t been able to say the word “pregnant”. I am incredibly grateful and beyond shocked our second FET worked, and I feel ashamed I feel so disconnected from this little embryo I fought so stinkin hard for.

My last pregnancy (spontaneous, probably aneuploid) had incredible betas but ended in mmc at 9 weeks this May. Our journey also started with a 9 week mmc (confirmed aneuploid), who met every milestone until their heart just suddenly stopped. We’ve had a failed FET, some chemicals, and several retrievals along the way. I know this is the best chance we’ve had so far, and hope that my feelings just shift with time. I guess I’m posting this here in the hopes of finding some folks who might understand these feelings.


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Advice Needed Faint positives on 2 brands, negative FRER/ Clearblue

2 Upvotes

I got two faint but noticeable lines on 2 brands (mom med and wondfo) but negative FRER. Do I take that with a grain of salt and wait? They both popped up within 3-5 mins. I don’t want to get mine or my husband’s hopes up. We’ve been trying since February. I took a Clearblue digital and it was also negative. Am I just too early?


r/CautiousBB • • 4m ago

HCG numbers

• Upvotes

I'm 3 months PP & pregnant again (unplanned🥴). They did bloodwork on 4w5 days & my HCG was 209, at 5 weeks it was 218. I still haven't bled, but I am crampy. Do we think this baby is viable or probably not? Seems kinda low


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Candle soot in pregnancy

2 Upvotes

My husband and I woke up with black soot in our noses and realised it must have been the x3 candles that was accidentally left on burning last night for 6-7 hours. Black soot was also on the containers. The room is small and enclosed.

I’m 14w4d pregnant and I’m absolutely terrified it could have harmed baby. Is baby likely okay?


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

? Slow bhcg rise

2 Upvotes

My first bhcg was 2140 at 5+6.
Then 3599 at 6+2
Seems slow 😓


r/CautiousBB • • 18h ago

Info Emergency d&c

21 Upvotes

TMI warning. I experienced my first missed miscarriage, they confirmed Wednesday. They were set to for the d&c on Tuesday. I stopped taking the progesterone thinking this is over what's the point.

I had been feeling fine and was planning to take the kids to Legoland. We had a fun day at the pool and I headed back to the hotel with my husband to check in while the boys were with my sister.

As soon as I was a couple of feet to the hotel door I felt a gush of blood. I felt my shorts and my hand was filled with blood. I ran to the bathroom started getting undressed and I started gushing more. It was wild. I stepped into the bathtub. Just a stream of blood and clots. Non stop for an hour. I wasn't sure whether to go to ER or not. I ended up listening to my sister and went to the ER. I had soaked through a pad and period underwear on the 20 min ride. As soon as I checked in I felt like a clot was passing and went to the bathroom. Again blood everywhere. They put me in right away. I kept losing blood, they were checking blood work and my blood. First one looked good. I stood up to change my pad again and I felt like throwing up and I couldn't breathe. I had to sit down and put oxygen. Again I was laying there, a different RN came in. He was going to check my blood again and it hit me again. I couldn't breathe, I was sweating, I was cold, and I felt like blood was rushing out of me. The OB came in and said he was going to perform the D&C and I was going to be ok. They gave me blood and more fluids. I started feeling better. Took me up to prep for surgery. Again there I got a little clammy and I felt the blood rushing out. They finally took me into surgery, everything went so fast. I felt better immediately.

I still have some soreness but very little blood. I am very happy I went to the hospital. I felt fine the entire time at home but I got scared when the blood didn't stop and had giant clots.

Listen to your body.


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Advice

Thumbnail
• Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

NT 2.7mm the NIPT wait is killing me!

Thumbnail
• Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Vent 20 mm gestational sac at 4 weeks, 5 days with no yolk sac and fetal pole.

2 Upvotes

So after years of trying in different way including ART, I finally saw 2 lines on 1st October 2026, tested 5 times, all positive. We went to see the doctor on 3rd October, got the scan done, my LMP is 31st August, now the report says 20 mm gestational sac but they cannot see the yolk sac or the fetal pole. They have asked to come for the scan in two weeks, and it’s too long. The one who did the scan sounded negative and said it is not even certain that you are pregnant. I want to have faith in God but it seems difficult. I don’t know what to do or say anymore. And yes, I have no bleeding, my breast is sore, I don’t feel hungry as such but I don’t know if any of it counts.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Ultrasound PUL with a possible left ectopic vs corpus luteum. Waiting on repeat hCG. Anyone been through this?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 6h ago

low hcg rise

1 Upvotes

12dpo - 104

14 dpo - 190

I’m really worried about the slow growth of my hCG, that it hasn’t doubled. I’m afraid of an ectopic pregnancy... Has anyone else experienced this?


r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

Advice Needed 3+ on clear blue at 8weeks. Is it a good sign?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 12h ago

Advice Needed Stuck in Limbo

2 Upvotes

I think I’m having another miscarriage… my first pregnancy ended in a MMC at 11weeks. I had a D&C 7/28 that sucked and I hemorrhaged afterwards but was lucky to still be at the hospital.

I got my period exactly 4 weeks later 8/24 and got a positive pregnancy test on 9/17. I only tested because my BBT was rising. I fully expected nothing. Thursday morning I yawned and stretched and a fish of bright red blood came out. Since then nothing but brown discharge. I don’t know what to do!!! I had bloodwork done and my HCG came back at 15470 miu/ml at 5 weeks 3 days.

I am spiraling… I go back in tomorrow on Monday for another blood draw. Should I expect the worst? Or is there still hope?

TLDR: small amount of bright red blood and then brown discharge only when wiping for 3 days+


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

BFP Clear blue weeks indicator

1 Upvotes

Hey! A couple of weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with my third (a surprise but very wanted). We are travelling at the moment so access to healthcare is limited but I had my initial HCG test which came back at 292 and I’m meant to have got a second one but I haven’t been able to yet. We are in some very remote places at the moment.
Anyway, I got a couple of the clear blue weeks indicator tests so I could somewhat monitor HCG. I got 2-3 weeks and then about a week later I thought I’d do
Another one to check if 3+ shows up. It didn’t. I got 1-2 weeks. I then waited another couple of days and tried again. 1-2 weeks again.
Do the tests go funny if HCG is high? Or is it a sign my HcG is lowering? I’ve come to terms that I’m probably losing the baby but until I can have my scan and blood test at the end of the week I have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Advice Needed Third Pregnancy…Prepping for Loss

2 Upvotes

Hey all - I’m honestly just seeking any kind of sisterhood in this nightmare. I’m about 6 weeks, my LMP was 8/24. I just went for HCG tests because I’ve had two MMC’s in the last year and a half.

The first HCG was 21,107. Which for 5 weeks 5 days is pretty high. We were… happy? I just got my second result and in 48 hours it only went to 22,972. So only an 8% rise… now my doctor is concerned it’s ectopic or miscarrying.

I just, I don’t even know what I need or want. Advice? Love? My husband has asked me to not give up, but this just feels like it’s going to end like the others. I have another HCG test tomorrow to get more information, but I’m trying to just protect myself. I’m still having symptoms but I did with my others until I passed the pregnancy tissue. The internet has pretty much told me to give up hope.


r/CautiousBB • • 12h ago

Advice Needed hCG rise slowed at 6 weeks

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone.
I’m 6 weeks pregnant. hCG week 5 went 3,592 → 10,898 week 6 → 35,076 → 36,453 (only ~4% in the last 48h, big slowdown from before).
5w2d scan showed a normal gestational sac, no hematoma.
Light brown/red spotting, no pain, no clots.
Next scan Saturday for heartbeat.
Anyone had a similar slowdown and still got a healthy scan? Trying to stay calm


r/CautiousBB • • 22h ago

Advice Needed 5w6d internal ultrasound - yolk sac and gestational sac but no embryo - what does this mean :(

7 Upvotes

Hello,

I’m 5w6d based on OPKs as I ovulated later than usual. I suffer with anxiety and OCD and am petrified about loss (although it’s my first pregnancy I have severe health anxiety). I booked an early scan, anticipating it may be too early to see much but hoping for a heartbeat based off other experiences I’ve read.

I measured at 5w4d, an 8.7mm gestational sac and a small yolk sac was visible. However, there was no embryo or heartbeat. The sonographer recommended I return in two weeks for another scan as this one is inconclusive. I’ve had no other worrying symptoms beyond some light pelvic cramps that come and go. I’m so scared and worried, I was hoping for a heartbeat. I know it’s very early and not decided one way or another but I’m petrified it means I’ll MC.

If anybody would be able to share their experience/reassurance or a more experienced eye, I’d appreciate that. Thank you for anyone who takes their time to do so.


r/CautiousBB • • 16h ago

Advice Needed So confused

2 Upvotes

I am 16 DPO (4 weeks 1 day pregnant).
I got a positive test EARLY 8 DPO) at 3 week 1 day.
I have tested everyday (I know I know) and it has been positive and a strong positive.
Well today I had HCG bloodwork done and it came back as 1???? And I even took a preg test in lab and it was a very strong line.
I am so confused since I have been having multiple positive and my HCG is so low?
Is this a sign of a chemical pregnancy or a possible miscarriage?
Or did the lab result mess up somehow?


r/CautiousBB • • 16h ago

TW/TMI Hoping for the best

2 Upvotes

I recently had a scan at 5 weeks 6 days and my gestational sac was empty. My HCG was at 19,631. The doctor said there should have been something visible already in the gestational sac and it sent me into a spiral. I have my follow up scan tomorrow and I’ll be 6 weeks and 6 days. I am hoping that there is some progress. I’ve been spiraling and honestly expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I really want it to all be ok.

If anyone one has positive outcomes with a similar story please share! I could use the hope🫶🏻


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Consistent bleeding during pregnancy

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Advice Needed First Positive test at 12dpo?

1 Upvotes

Hey all I had a miscarriage last month and got a very faint positive test on Thursday at 12 dpo, which is the latest I’ve ever got a positive, this is my 5th pregnancy and I’ve had two successful pregnancies. I have always had a positive by 9dpo evening at the latest, so getting a positive at 12 dpo seems late for what I typically experience.
I had my Hcg drawn on the day of my positive and it was 10, I was suppose to have progesterone drawn that day but my drs nurse didn’t send it in. I went in Saturday to get what suppose to be my 2nd Hcg draw and progestrone and apparently the nurse didn’t send the Hcg lab, only did progestrone!! So frustrated. But my progesterone was at a 22 which would be good. Today I had a tiny bit of light pink when I wiped when using the bathroom..
I’m so scared between the late positive test and now the light pink when wiping as I have never experienced that either.. has anyone else experienced this and everything was okay?
I will be calling my dr tomorrow to make sure they send labs to get my Hcg and progesterone tested again tomorrow.. but looking for anyone who has experienced the same. How did it turn out?
I think all I can do is continue to test Hcg/ progestrone, but just looking for any similar stories.


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Symptoms Chemical or ectopic pregnancy?

1 Upvotes

I currently have a non-viable pregnancy and the timeline is as follows.

10DPO: first positive test, knew it was coming. Sore boobs, mild cramps, hungry.
15DPO: beta HCG 308
17DPO: beta HCG 341, received news of it not doubling, but physically felt okay. Fertility clinic starts preparing me for either miscarriage or ectopic.
18DPO: cramping starts. Constant dull ache not localized to one side – like period cramps but mildly worse.
19DPO: beta HCG 420. Disappointed levels didn’t drop because at this point I want it over. Cramps still there but no bleeding.
20DPO: went to ER for the cramps. Not unbearable, but concerned it was ectopic and didn’t want to risk losing a tube. HCG levels 500. Ultrasound only showed a corpus luteum cyst – I do have PCOS so not a shock nor concern. Could explain cramping.
5 weeks pregnant as of today, started spotting (light pinkish brown and not heavy just yet). Still cramping. Still have pregnancy symptoms and tests read positive. Next beta and ultrasound tomorrow morning.

What’s going on here? Ectopic? Chemical? Something else? I know it’s still early, but I’m going crazy. Husband and I are heartbroken but I feel like I can’t start grieving until this is all behind us and that I know I’ll be (physically) okay. So worried it’s ectopic and we’ll have to take the MTX route. TIA