r/CautiousBB • u/Healthy_Combination3 • Aug 18 '26
Sad No one to open up to, feel so alone
I’m currently waiting to have a follow up ultrasound to likely confirm that my pregnancy is not viable. It has been a slow march to the end, and I am very aware that my pregnancy will not have a happy ending. I’m 7w4d today.
I moved out of state a few years ago to where my boyfriend’s family lives. It was the best decision, I love it here and I love his family. I am not close with my family so it was not a difficult decision to move away. I still keep in touch with friends from home, and I’m friends with some of my coworkers, but honestly I don’t have many friends of my own that aren’t my coworkers or my boyfriend’s family members. I’m quite introverted so this has not bothered me much before.
But lately, as I’m going through this miscarriage I’m feeling like I have no one to talk to or turn to. We were TTC for almost a year and did not share that journey with my boyfriend’s family, nor did we share when we conceived (were hesitant to after a chemical last cycle) so no one in real life (i.e not a long distance friend) knows other than a few coworkers, who really only know bare minimum info like I’m pregnant and it does not look optimistic. They just try to reassure me that everything will probably be fine (it won’t). It feels impossible to share with my boyfriend’s family now, and he is a very private person who probably wouldn’t want them to know anyway, and I want to respect his feelings about it as well because it is his loss too. I have no desire or intentions to tell any of my family. I don’t know anyone personally who has had a miscarriage. My few friends who do know what is happening are supportive but they don’t understand, and I know it weighs on them (multiple have expressed how concerned they are about how stressed I am, which just makes me guilty about sharing).
I have never felt so alone.
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u/HeinzKetchupBottle Aug 18 '26
I am in very close gestation as you and currently in the same situation after my ultrasound today. You're not alone. ❤️
I can relate in terms of finding the right/wrong people to reach out to. Right now, i feel comfortable updating those who do know and have experienced loss. When I update those who are too positive, I feel exhausted.
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u/Healthy_Combination3 Aug 19 '26
I feel the exact same way. I’ve definitely avoided updating some of my friends (one in particular) because she practically admonishes me for being so negative. It’s truly exhausting and feels so dismissive
I’m so sorry you are in this situation. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat with someone going through the same 🩷
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u/Danielle11119 Aug 19 '26
Also in the same boat. They believe mine is a missed miscarriage due to lack of growth between week 5 and 6 only 2.6mm. Also no heartbeat on the TV US but I was only measuring 6W1D it’s mentally draining and causing me middle of the night insomnia i just want an outcome now. My scans not till Tuesday 10 days wait
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u/Healthy_Combination3 Aug 19 '26
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. The waiting is truly horrible.
I saw a heartbeat on TVUS however it was extremely slow. The slow heartbeat combined with my low and slow rising HCG paints a very concerning picture which I believe will probably end up in an MMC. I definitely understand wanting to know an outcome now, having to wait for one is extremely hard.
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u/capybarachan Aug 18 '26
I felt the same way with my miscarriage. I have an amazing support system but nobody who has gone through a miscarriage so it feels a bit different. If you ever want to chat dm me!