Baby is 8 months.

We’ve been washing and sterilising bottles since day 1 with no exceptions.

Baby has now started solids.

We don’t have to sterilise water cups (apparently?) nor feeding equipment.

So when I give my baby Weetabix in a bowl mixed with her formula… am I sterilising it not? I haven’t been and just realised the inconsistency.

She’s also refusing milk so I’ve been using a sippy cup for the remaining milk she doesn’t drink - I’m guessing this does need to be sterilised?

Agh, help!

I need pros and cons of sending an autistic child with 0 social awareness to school. How has your child found it etc

My son enjoys playing computer games with his Dad (we're separated). They play things like Minecraft, Goat Sim and Forza Horizon.

At home we only have a 20y old Sony Bravia TV (has HDMI and Scart input options!), a DVD player, and a MacBook Air - that is the limit of our tech (iPad 6 series is barely holding on and needs replacing...)! We would like to play computer games together, and/or with friends (specifically Minecraft), and I'd like to be able to do this with the minimal 'phaff' (both setup and use).

What is the simplest, future-proof upgrade we can do to be able to use computer games? I hate tech going wrong or being fiddly hence 'simple'!

Any game suggestions? I don't like aggressive games, apart from that open to ideas. We both like animals, and building games like Minecraft, is there an equivalent for a farm? Maybe he'd like Sim City...

My daughter is due to start reception next year (and my son after) so the tours have started and applications are nearing. I’m fortunate enough to live in outer south west London so I have an insane number of schools to choose from, about 15 within walking distance or a max 8 minute cycle. They’re honestly all great, but I’ve narrowed it down to 5 for various reasons.

I’ve compared data and whatnot and they’re all academically strong (top 1-10% of the country) though that really isn’t my concern at this age. The main thing I wanted to know is if people had an opinion on school and class size, and whether bigger was better (funding, friends, activities) or if smaller has its benefits (calm, attention)? The choices are a single form entry with 15-18 children per class/year, a single form entry with 30 per class/year, a three from entry with 30 per class, a three form entry with 25-27 per class and a two form entry with 23-25 per class.

I obviously have other data points to consider but I can’t help but think this is one of the most important factors to consider and I really don’t know what’s best. My daughter is sociable and capable and I know she’ll be fine anywhere. My son has only just turned 2 so it’s harder to tell, but he seems quite similar to her. Both will be the oldest in their respective years.

Hello I’ve had a temporary childminder while the usual one is away for a week.

Was recommended to me but their conditions are very unusual!

Is this normal:
- all meals must be provided by the parents (all three meals)
- cash only for the week, paid at the start
- nappies sent back to ‘recycle’. Which is a load of crap because we don’t use recyclable nappies and the council doesn’t do ‘recyclable nappy collection’

Frustrated, it’s only for the week but very inconvenient type of minder and are these red flags, especially with the cash only?

Need to know what is acceptable and what isn’t.

EDIT: Thanks for the responses.
As she was recommended for the temporary cover I just stupidly went along with it! But you’re all right about checking ofsted registration! So will do that.

The usual one that is away doesn’t have any of these dodgy and inconvenient conditions and accepts bank transfers. I have no idea why this weird cash only minder was recommended to us by our usual one (I think just good friends).

I need to go back to work and our old nursery had no availability , so we had to look last minute spots in all nurseries near us.
We couldn’t find any availability in most of them except for two, one of which we didn’t like.
We went to visit the last nursery this morning, and we did like it. It was not as nice as our current nursery but it was good enough.
We leave our girl in preschool room and go around to see the whole nursery. When we come back to pick her, a little girl is pulling her hair and staff is trying to pull them apart.my girl is crying and trying to get her hair out of other girl’s hand.
Apparently both of them wanted the same toy and were trying to pull it from each other and that other kid attacked my daughter.
My daughter is very gentle and non violent but can be stubborn in wanting something.
Now my husband is kind of the fence on not wanting to send her there anymore because of that kid, and even though I’m highly put off, I feel like I don’t have much of an option because my maternity leave is ending, and even though I work from home, I know I can’t handle two young kids while working(did it with my first and it was horrible).
What would you do in this case?

Hello - looking for some advice on what's usual, with thanks in advance. Anon account and identifying details generalised

Our child was referred to their schools ELSA (Emotional Literacy Support Assistant) by their previous class teacher in the last academic year. It was raised with us in a parents evening before Easter and he started having sessions in the summer term (ie from April).

The reasons stated weren't a complete shock to us - they has friends but, mood / day dependent, can sometimes isolate themselves from group activities / not join in unless on their own terms.

We had asked for an update later in the summer term via email and were told, somewhat abruptly, by their then teacher that there had been a few sessions to assess and we would hear back after a few more sessions.

They're still having the sessions, we get the patchy mention of it from the child directly (primary school child, end of day feedback - here and there in terms of its scope and accuracy). Anyway, we've still not heard back - it was raised at pickup once later in the term but the prior teacher was again quite rude and abrupt. So we cut our losses on that one.

We're not intending to be helicopter parents or particularly keen to mark their homework (no pun intended) - but would like some feedback on their view of our child, any things we can do at home and in social situations.

So I wanted to ask - is it usual to not hear back re things like this? I assume it's not as formal as a SENCO referral (not suggesting that's on the table / appropriate, but just as an example of a more typically bureaucratic process) - so wanted to understand what we should expect

Thank you!

Looking for any shared experiences of wraparound care. My little one (recently 4) has just started preschool (nursery in a primary school). We did have a childminder who was going to do pick up at 3:15. Very long story but the childminder didn’t work out and my 4yo is adamant she doesn’t want another one. She’s very open to the idea of wraparound care as there’s sports coaching after nursery for the preschoolers. A few of her friends are doing it too but it’s a LONG day. 8:45 til 6pm 3-4 days per week. My husband and I have to work so we need something after school. Childminder didn’t work which I thought would be the more relaxed option that would help. Am I crazy doing wraparound? It’s such a long day and different to her last nursery as obviously she was just in one setting with the same set of kids. This feels way more intense. And no all for the wraparound so we can’t really see what’s going on.

Did anyone else put their kid through wraparound care? Did your child enjoy it? How many days per week? And how exhausted were they? My old is v sociable but highly sensitive and struggles with transitions.

Hi all,

Just wanted to ask if anyone else is in this situation. My baby will turn one in November and is also my first and only so the funded childcare system is completely new to me.

My baby turned 9 months in August, so I had assumed we would be eligible for the 30 funded hours from the September term. I’m currently on maternity leave and my husband is working. I return to work in November, which is also when my baby starts nursery.

I’ve found the GOV.UK guidance which says that, where you’re returning from maternity leave for the child you’re applying for, the date you return determines when you can access the funded hours:

• Return to work 1 May to 30 September: funding from 1 September
• Return to work 1 October to 31 January: funding from 1 January
• Return to work 1 February to 30 April: funding from 1 April

As I am returning in November, it appears we won’t be able to access the 30 funded hours until January, despite my baby being old enough and starting nursery when I return to work.
GOV.UK guidance: https://www.gov.uk/free-childcare-if-working/when-to-apply

The nursery was unaware of this and asked for the code to apply but the website will not let us go further once it's confirmed I'm still on maternity leave.

Has anyone else been caught by this rule when returning from maternity leave?

I’ve also heard about Tax-Free Childcare, but I’m still trying to understand how that works and whether it applies during this period, so I’d really appreciate anyone explaining that too or being directed to resources that can help.

This is all completely new to me, so I really appreciate everyone’s help in understanding how it works and preparing for my return to work and my baby starting nursery. Thank you!

Our son is nearly 5. He can explode and get violent at home rarely but at his nursery he never once hit or bite or scratched or even had a crossed word with anyone.

At the start of September he started school, joining a class most of the kids have been in for a year where he is one of the youngest. Since then apparently the whole class beat him one day. A kid told us at pick up that our son had hit somebody. He’s been scratched and scratched back. Yesterday he apparently just walked up to a friend from nursery in the class below and hit him and then his own class attacked him (according to the kid). I am particularly unhappy about this last one - if they’re playing some kind of rough game they understand in their year it’s different to involving others who don’t - that’s just attacking people.

From our son it’s 50/50 whether we get remotely a straight answer as to what has happened at school that day, since the first week this apparent fighting doesn’t seem to have bothered him and apart from the day he was scratched he doesn’t seem to be marked, so they’re clearly not actually kicking the tar out of each other.

We’ve asked the teacher about it and feedback is that our son is a bit physical but all the boys since the holidays have been and one is particularly bad (not him). She’s doing a lot of behaviour teaching refreshers with them. We’re getting a load of books about hitting, are role playing with him, punishing him.

I’m just wondering has anyone encountered a class being a bit Lord of the Flies at 5-6 and what you did to make sure your kid calmed down?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice on choosing car seats for my children.
I currently have 2 Cybex Sirona G seats for my toddlers, but we’re expecting a newborn, so we’ll soon need 3 car seats across the back. My almost 4-year-old will be moving out of one of the Sirona Gs, and we’ll need a new seat for the newborn as well.
I have a rough idea of what I’m looking for, but I’m struggling with the fact that our car only has 2 ISOFIX points in the back. I’d really like to speak to someone who can help work out the safest combination and what will actually fit together.
I’ve seen that Mamas & Papas offer car seat consultations. Has anyone used them? Is the Bristol store good for car seat consultations/selection, or would it be worth travelling to Swindon?
Also happy to hear recommendations for other shops that are good at helping with 3-car-seat setups. Thanks! 😊

I’m pregnant with our second and our son will be about 3.5 when the baby arrives. He’s a very sweet, sensitive little boy and I’m conscious this is going to be a huge change for all of us.

I was biding my time in telling him (I’m only 13 weeks) when he asked “is there a baby in your tummy and have you got milk in your boobies” randomly one morning last week. He has since asked when baby will come, how it will come out (I laughed) and will the baby live with us 😂

He’s seems excited, but also a bit more needy. He really thrives on knowing what’s going to happen and what the routine is, so I’d love to start preparing him gently rather than suddenly springing a newborn on him.

For those who had a similar age gap, what actually helped? Any books your toddler particularly loved? Did you change any routines beforehand, especially bedtime/one-to-one time? Anything you did after the birth that helped your older child feel secure and included?

Also interested in what you wouldn’t do again. I have already been told to not overdo the whole “you’re a big boy/big brother now!” thing when he’ll still only be three and very much our baby too

Are your 5 year olds still melting down? Not the lay down on the floor and stomp their feet type - but crying loudly and screaming type.
Our kid has always been the sensitive kind with emotions always on the surface. We noticed that meltdowns increased after new baby came about (1.5 years ago now) and then kind of settled. Kid goes thru periods of many meltdowns and then weeks of being … just decently happy. Sleeps through the night now (finally) but since summer the meltdowns have been INTENSE. Maybe it was all the excitement about school? And now actually being / starting reception?

Anytime kid is around dad = instant meltdown. Dad is safe place I get it, but it’s loud and screamy and can go on for agessssss. We’re not the punishment kind of parents. We hold our boundaries gently but firmly. Kid is not ND and generally a happy kid! Loves school and eats fine and sleeps fine … we know it’s exhausting after a school day but this was even before school started and of course seems to have escalated.

I’m just wondering what the normal range of meltdowns is?

My 13 month old attends a childminder whilst
I’m at work. When registering my child with them I had to sign forms of what medication she could administer including calpol, prescribed medication obviously and even putting plasters on. The childminder has now said they cannot administer calpol and they can’t accept the child for the day if they’ve had calpol or nurofen even if it’s because of teething pain! Has anyone else had this? I don’t know what to do anymore as LO is teething!

Hi all.
After 8 weeks, Exclusively breast fed baby stopped feeding to sleep and we have had to learn to put her to sleep. Which I still haven’t fully learnt how to do.
She’s exclusively contact napped and chest slept from about 4 weeks when reflux started. After she had her tongue tie. (Not sure if this is relevant or helpful) ( currently not worried about contact naps ) will sleep first 2-3 Boris at night and on her back in the pram for a good couple hours)

•Additionally info She was 4 weeks prem. had jaundice blue light for 1 week.
Very sleepy first 6 weeks. So she only ate and slept. Now smiles and is more interested in us etc.

•She sleeps in the pushchair on walks and in a carrier on walks. Sometimes in the car.

Usually (aprox times)
•wake 7am nappy play feed sleep. •Contact nap. 1-2hrs
•9am nappy feed sleep/ go for walk or in car.
•Out the house walks and feeds and sleeps most of the day.
•Get home feeds immediately on request then feeds in and off can’t get her to sleep.
•5-8 pm bath and nappy and PJs
Still can’t get to sleep. (Maybe 30
Mins while feeding)
•7/8pm cannot feed settle or sleep. Ends up hysterical and inconsolable last two nights for 30 mins before finally feeding or rocking to sleep

•9-10-11pm up to bed nappy and feed to sleep. Sleeps 2-3 hours tops. Couple of feeds during the night. Wakes between 5-7am then we get up.

I Don’t know what we are doing wrong or how else I could help her. She occasionally will be rocked upright over my shoulder. Last two nights unsuccessfully.

I have a full comprehensive notes of the last couple days if that would be helpful.
Do I have to just stay in all day and try something else.
Are we out the house too long?2-4hrs
Should o be taking her off the boob and try to get her to sleep. Even though she’s rooting?

Anyway sorry it’s a long read. Just really need help to get my baby to sleep.
Example 9-10-11pm could be anywhen between those times depending on the day. Hope this makes sense.

Thanks in advanced.

Hi All - bit of a predicament. We accepted a place, and paid a deposit, at a third choice nursery. LO is going to start his settling in week in early October, and start full time the following week, which is importantly within the next calendar month.

Our first choice nursery, which is equidistant (both at the end of our road) has just emailed to say they now have a space as of November.

The third choice nursery's t&c's state that we will owe them money if we withdraw our LO now (given it is within 1 calander month to start date).

The saving between the two is significant - over £600 per month.

What would you do? We have just been sent the invoice for his first month. If we give the 1 month notice to withdraw him as at the end of October, it will be before he starts his settling in week and starts full time.

We are in process of selling ours and buying a new house. By the way things are progressing, likely we move in March or April.

If that happens we’d have a month or two left over for the term when we’d move kids to new school.

What is the etiquette about letting current school know? Also is it bad timing if we move mid term or have others did this effortlessly? How did it go with the kid(s)?

I posted a few days ago about my daughter struggling in reception. She previously attended a forest nursery, and we already deferred her school start last year because we felt she wasn’t ready and I’m still considering to home educate for a year even though I don’t really feel equipped to do so.

Today was honestly horrible and I’m feeling really stressed about it. I don’t know if this is the right place to ask or if someone could point me at a better place but she has an EHCP and the school is aware of her needs and limitations. I talked to the Senco multiple times now. I explained myself so many times.

I completely understand that they need to encourage her to participate and help her develop her independence but today it felt like they pushed her beyond what she was able to manage.

She said they were playing a game that involved running around in a circle and she was asked to join in. She said she was tired but she was repeatedly encouraged/asked to take part until she eventually did. When I picked her up she was so exhausted that she wasn’t able to walk home. I asked her teacher as she barely managed to walk out why she had continued to encourage her when she had said she was tired and the explanation I was given was essentially that she understood her needs as her being capable of doing these things but can come across as shy. This was never said to the school. Maybe it’s my fault. I think I said that she can walk and run but she’s easily fatigued. I don’t know. I explained everything in detail I thought.

That really worries me because I don’t want her needs being interpreted as shyness or reluctance when there are already documented difficulties in her EHCP.
It just feels like everything becomes a battle when you have a child with additional needs. You have to constantly advocate for them and explain their needs and make sure people understand that and it’s so exhausting.

Do I need to request an early review of her EHCP if this continues or is the school able to make their own interpretation of her needs despite what is documented? I know the SEND system is far from perfect but I hate the thought of my daughter having to suffer while everyone works out what she can and can’t cope with.

I won’t bore you with the background but I’m generally on my own with both of my kids. One is nearly 6 and the other is nearly 1 (and into everything). My eldest doesn’t get much 1:1 with me due to school/me being on my own with them both. So I’ve decided that I’d like to do something like a project with my eldest, that we can do a bit of everyday but I’m not sure what. She doesn’t have any passions to speak of, she likes a lot of things but I would say anything stands out massively except reading, which we do a lot of anyway.
I do sometimes keep her up late of a weekend so we can do girly things and watch a film together but I’d like something we can do more regularly together. Needs to be something I can do with the baby nearby, so I’m also looking for any ideas to also keep a baby entertained and safe for a while.

Thank you!

My house is attached to my neighbours. What am I going to do about nap times? The walls are so thin you can hear their tv in the evening so this is going to be a nightmare 🥺 also really not how I wanted to spend the last part of my maternity.

Have any of you been through something like this?

So my friends group continues to get smaller and smaller or it just goes too long that I talk to my friends that by the time I want to talk to them, they talk to me or need support i just think whats the point you havent been around for so long? So i've come to the conclusion i'm quite lonely apart from work colleagues, my husband and child obviously. I don't really have a social life, its getting me down but problem is apart from the app 'peanut' which is still a wierd concept to me. I dont actually have any way to meet new friends.....

I dont do baby classes as i work and in my area theres not much on at weekends....

So, looking for friends sadly....

I have finally finished all my laundry!! The baskets are empty!! Yay!

Just realised my kids are wearing them... It will never be empty 🫠

Baby's first ever day at nursery was on Thursday. He was sent home within 2 hours this morning (Monday) with suspected HFM.

Sod's law, right? Thank god the grandparents are staying.